Your To-Do List is Just Your Inner Critic on Paper — Transcript

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1. 0:00The problem with to-do lists is that you
2. 0:01think to yourself, this is what I have
3. 0:03to get done and then you put it on a
4. 0:05list and then maybe you do it, maybe you
5. 0:08don't.
6. 0:09And that's the problem.
7. 0:12What's happening most of the time when
8. 0:13you say this is what I have to do and
9. 0:16you put it into a to-do list. What
10. 0:17you're doing is just taking that
11. 0:19critical selft talk that you have in
12. 0:20your head and you're saying okay I'm
13. 0:22going to make a list and then I'm either
14. 0:24going to do it and feel like my entire
15. 0:25life is controlled by this to-do list or
16. 0:28you're going to say oh yeah I'm not
17. 0:31going to do that and then I'm going to
18. 0:32feel bad about not doing that and I'm
19. 0:34going to go why didn't I get everything
20. 0:36done on my to-do list and neither of
21. 0:38those are actually getting the life that
22. 0:40you want.
23. 0:42Does it make any sense at all to think
24. 0:45about what you're going to do without
25. 0:46how you're going to do it? And yet our
26. 0:48to-do lists never really talk about how
27. 0:50we're going to do it. So, let me give
28. 0:52you this example. You have a
29. 0:54three-year-old and you're like, "Okay,
30. 0:56you brush your teeth." It's not very
31. 0:59likely. Now, if you think about how to
32. 1:01do it, it could change everything. So,
33. 1:03for instance, if you say to a
34. 1:04three-year-old, "Hey, how about we brush
35. 1:07our teeth together?" They're far more
36. 1:08likely to brush their teeth than if you
37. 1:10just tell them to go and do it. So, how
38. 1:12you do something, how you approach it is
39. 1:15going to make a very big difference in
40. 1:17whether you get the thing done. So, if
41. 1:18you're doing a great to-do list that
42. 1:20works for you instead of you working for
43. 1:22it, you're asking it a question that's
44. 1:25actually relevant to you, that actually
45. 1:26makes you feel purpose, and you're also
46. 1:29writing down how you're going to do it
47. 1:30in a way that's super enjoyable. You're
48. 1:32giving the thought to how you're going
49. 1:34to do it so that you want to do it. And
50. 1:36once those two things are in place, then
51. 1:39you can make a great to-do list that
52. 1:40works for you instead of you working for
53. 1:42it. So, let me tell you a story. As some
54. 1:45of you know, I coach famous executives.
55. 1:47And I had this one executive who was
56. 1:49constantly in the to-do list, just going
57. 1:51from meeting to meeting non-stop,
58. 1:53working 60, 70 hours a week and doing
59. 1:56pretty good. Actually, the company was
60. 1:57growing pretty well. It was like 10 12%
61. 1:59a year. We talked about a different way
62. 2:01of doing time management, a different
63. 2:02way of doing a to-do list. and he
64. 2:05started thinking about his days as what
65. 2:07are the three things that I can do that
66. 2:09make everything else either easier or
67. 2:11irrelevant
68. 2:13and that's all he would focus on just
69. 2:15getting those three things done and so
70. 2:18all of a sudden his to-do list was the
71. 2:20most high lever stuff and there's a
72. 2:22fulfillingness to like checking off a
73. 2:24to-do list but man do you feel great if
74. 2:28you've done something that you know will
75. 2:29make a substantial difference I've never
76. 2:32heard anybody say you know I want a job
77. 2:34where I don't make any difference at
78. 2:36all. It's part of what we are as humans.
79. 2:38We love to have an impact. We like to
80. 2:40have a big impact on our lives. We like
81. 2:42to help other people. We do not want to
82. 2:45do something that is just
83. 2:48wrote that.
84. 2:51Yeah, I'm not going to remember what I
85. 2:52did in two days or three days. It's not
86. 2:55how we want to exist. And so, not only
87. 2:57is it super effective at changing a
88. 2:59company and his company grew, but it
89. 3:01also felt better on a day-to-day basis.
90. 3:04And that's one of the big keys is when
91. 3:06you are doing a to-do list, it's really
92. 3:08important to figure out how to make it
93. 3:10enjoyable. And why is that the case?
94. 3:13It's the case because if it's enjoyable,
95. 3:15you're more likely to do it. If it's
96. 3:18enjoyable, it's more efficient. And what
97. 3:20I mean by that is that if it takes me a
98. 3:23lot of energy to do something, it's not
99. 3:26efficient. If I have a car that takes a
100. 3:28gallon of gas to move a mile, no matter
101. 3:30how fast it goes, it's not efficient. If
102. 3:33I have energy at the end of the day
103. 3:35because everything I've done has given
104. 3:37me energy or has taken the least amount
105. 3:39of energy, then it's very efficient. I
106. 3:42can keep on going. I can produce so much
107. 3:44and I can do it with a lot of joy and
108. 3:46what I produce is going to be better
109. 3:49because what do you want? You want a
110. 3:51product created by somebody who's
111. 3:52freaking miserable or do you want a
112. 3:54product created by somebody who's
113. 3:56actually energized and enjoying their
114. 3:58world? My friend Thiago is talking to us
115. 4:01one day about how he hates YouTube
116. 4:03meetings. And there was like three of us
117. 4:05there. We were in this mastermind. We're
118. 4:07all chatting about being content
119. 4:09creators and everything. And he said,
120. 4:10"There's just no way to enjoy YouTube
121. 4:12meetings." And we were all laughing. Of
122. 4:14course you can. We do. And we went
123. 4:15through all the different things that
124. 4:17were completely unenjoyable about the
125. 4:19meeting. And you could see him start to
126. 4:21light up. You could see him start to see
127. 4:23that there is maybe a different way to
128. 4:24do YouTube, something that was enjoyable
129. 4:27because if I enjoy it, I'm going to do
130. 4:29it. And doing it is more important than
131. 4:32anything else. Next thing you know, his
132. 4:34YouTube channel has completely jumped
133. 4:36over the last year. You can just see the
134. 4:38numbers. has gone way up because he
135. 4:41found a way to enjoy doing YouTube. And
136. 4:44this works everywhere I look. When
137. 4:46somebody's really enjoying what they do,
138. 4:48what they're passionate about, and they
139. 4:51feel a deep sense of purpose in, they're
140. 4:53far more likely to be successful than
141. 4:57the person who's doing it because they
142. 4:58have to.
143. 5:00So typically what people think about at
144. 5:02this point is they say, "Oh, well, if I
145. 5:04just enjoy everything that I'm doing,
146. 5:06then I'm not not going to do anything of
147. 5:08value." But that it's just simply not
148. 5:10true. As we've already talked about, we
149. 5:13enjoy being of service. We enjoy being
150. 5:15of purpose. We enjoy the fact that we're
151. 5:18effective, that we're having an impact.
152. 5:20And so, yeah, maybe we need a break one
153. 5:23day. Maybe what we would enjoy one day
154. 5:25is going to the park or taking a
155. 5:27vacation. But at some point we are going
156. 5:30to reach a place where we want to have
157. 5:32an impact, where we want to feel
158. 5:33purpose. So I learned this from my
159. 5:35daughter. So right before she graduated
160. 5:37from high school, she went and she
161. 5:39worked at the Smithsonian in Panama. She
162. 5:42had some friends there and so she had
163. 5:44fun, but she also was helping the
164. 5:46mangroves and helping the ecology of
165. 5:48these islands that she cares about. The
166. 5:50next year she graduates from high school
167. 5:52and she decides she saved all of her
168. 5:54money and she is going to go and tour
169. 5:57Europe. And halfway through she calls me
170. 6:00up and she goes, "Yeah, I'm really
171. 6:02liking it, Dad, but you know, there's
172. 6:04just not the sense of purpose that I had
173. 6:07when I was in Panama."
174. 6:10And I have met billionaires who don't
175. 6:13have to work.
176. 6:15I have met people who are working for
177. 6:18the post office. And there's not one
178. 6:19that I've ever met who doesn't want that
179. 6:21sense of purpose,
180. 6:23who doesn't want to feel like they are
181. 6:26doing something that's meaningful.
182. 6:28So, going back to your to-do list, think
183. 6:30about this. When you look at the list,
184. 6:32have you said to yourself, "Oh, this is
185. 6:34something I'm gonna enjoy doing, that
186. 6:36I'm gonna feel like I'm on my purpose,
187. 6:38like I'm having an impact, or is it just
188. 6:41a list of things that my brain has been
189. 6:43telling me to do in some abusive fashion
190. 6:45for the last, I don't know, two years,
191. 6:4820 years? What What's your to-do list?"
192. 6:52So, now you have a great to-do list, and
193. 6:54that's fantastic. One that works for you
194. 6:56instead of you working for it. But the
195. 6:58underlying issue is still there. The
196. 7:00underlying issue is that you still are
197. 7:01telling yourself you have to do stuff
198. 7:03all the time. You have this relationship
199. 7:05with this critical self-t talk, this
200. 7:07voice in your head that is not as
201. 7:09productive as it could be. And if you
202. 7:10want to start really looking at that, we
203. 7:12have a free micro course. You can find
204. 7:14it here or you can click the link below
205. 7:17and there we'll start to really get into
206. 7:19how the voice in the head works and how
207. 7:22you can start changing your relationship
208. 7:23with it.