Your Social Life- Day 17- Courage — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:06hello
2. 0:07and welcome to day 17 of lifebooks 30
3. 0:10day challenge
4. 0:10thanks so much for being here with me
5. 0:12today as we begin our exploration of one
6. 0:14of the most exciting lifebook categories
7. 0:16of all
8. 0:17your social life now this category isn't
9. 0:21just fun and exciting
10. 0:22it's also super important probably more
11. 0:25important than most of us realize
12. 0:27and that's a fact that's going to become
13. 0:28apparent to you over the next
14. 0:30couple days for sure human beings
15. 0:33are plain and simply social creatures
16. 0:36we all have a desire to interact with
17. 0:39each other and to connect
18. 0:41to share intellectually and emotionally
19. 0:43to have conversations
20. 0:45and to exchange our ideas we have a
21. 0:48desire to share affection
22. 0:49to share activities that we enjoy
23. 0:51together we have a need for
24. 0:53companionship
25. 0:54on our journey through life now we're
26. 0:56not going to die without
27. 0:58it it's not absolutely mandatory to our
28. 1:00survival on this planet
29. 1:02but we actually function better we live
30. 1:04more fully and we live more
31. 1:06joyfully if our social needs are
32. 1:09satisfied
33. 1:10we actually live longer scientific
34. 1:12studies have proven that
35. 1:14being around other people enriches our
36. 1:17lives
37. 1:17we all want someone to see us to
38. 1:20understand
39. 1:21us to really know us deeply in this
40. 1:24category the social category
41. 1:26we take a look at our relationship with
42. 1:28our family
43. 1:29and with our friends now since
44. 1:32relationships are about relating
45. 1:34they're a moving target they don't stay
46. 1:36the same over time they're dynamic
47. 1:39they're not static they move and they
48. 1:41fluctuate
49. 1:43and as we'll see in order to be
50. 1:45fulfilling and meaningful
51. 1:47our relationships are going to take
52. 1:48continuous energy and continuous
53. 1:51care they take an investment we often
54. 1:54take our friends and family for granted
55. 1:56don't we
56. 1:57i mean we don't tend to give enough
57. 1:58thought to what we really want out of
58. 2:00these important relationships
59. 2:02or what we need to bring to the table
60. 2:04ourselves but
61. 2:06these relationships of ours they're so
62. 2:08important to living a complete and
63. 2:10fulfilled life
64. 2:11they deserve some thought and attention
65. 2:13they really do because some of the
66. 2:15greatest
67. 2:15joys in life come in this category
68. 2:19i'd like to share a clip from the
69. 2:21classic lifebook program with you now
70. 2:23where i'm going to describe my own
71. 2:25vision for my social life
72. 2:27take a look
73. 2:36[Music]
74. 2:49what kind of relationships do you want
75. 2:51to develop in your social life
76. 2:53what kind of relationship do you want to
77. 2:55have with your family
78. 2:56how close do you want to be to them do
79. 3:00you see yourself getting together and
80. 3:01hanging out with your family on a
81. 3:02regular basis
82. 3:04maybe more than you do now what kind of
83. 3:06friends do you want to have
84. 3:08what kind of a friend do you want to be
85. 3:11what's your ideal vision
86. 3:12for your social life
87. 3:16when i think about my vision for my
88. 3:17social life the first thing i think
89. 3:19about is my family
90. 3:21i want an extraordinary family life
91. 3:25i want to be a great son a great brother
92. 3:28and a great uncle i'm the oldest of
93. 3:31seven children
94. 3:32and i've got four kids myself and i've
95. 3:34got 26
96. 3:35nieces and nephews i've got a big family
97. 3:39i want to always be there for them and i
98. 3:42know
99. 3:42they'll always be there for me if
100. 3:44something goes wrong
101. 3:46they are my go-to people i can always
102. 3:49count on them
103. 3:50and i highly value that i just
104. 3:53love my family i want to invest time
105. 3:56and energy in my brothers and my sisters
106. 3:59and my dad
107. 4:00and my niece and my nephews
108. 4:04the next part of my vision for my social
109. 4:06life concerns my friendships
110. 4:08i want extraordinary friendships not
111. 4:11mediocre ones
112. 4:13i want fantastic friendships that
113. 4:15enhance my life
114. 4:16that energize me and stimulate me and
115. 4:19inspire me
116. 4:20i want friendships that move me and help
117. 4:23me grow as a person
118. 4:24i want to do a lot of laughing with my
119. 4:26friends a lot of learning
120. 4:30i have no desire or time for mediocre
121. 4:33friendships
122. 4:34it's just not for me many people keep a
123. 4:37great
124. 4:37psychological distance between
125. 4:39themselves and their friends
126. 4:41they never really open up and share much
127. 4:43of anything about themselves at a deep
128. 4:45level
129. 4:46conversations are about the newest
130. 4:47restaurant or the weather
131. 4:49or the last golf game and personally i'm
132. 4:52just not interested in that
133. 4:54i've got no time or energy for shallow
134. 4:58or surface friendships i like to really
135. 5:00dig in
136. 5:01go deep make them meaningful
137. 5:04i really like to get to know my friends
138. 5:07at a deep level
139. 5:08what they're working on what they're
140. 5:10struggling with what their goals are
141. 5:13now not everyone wants relationships
142. 5:15like that
143. 5:16so that narrows the field and that's
144. 5:18just fine with me
145. 5:19because i don't need a lot of friends i
146. 5:21just want really really good ones
147. 5:24quality is definitely more important
148. 5:26than quantity to me
149. 5:28i want extraordinary friendships
150. 5:32the way i see it two things are required
151. 5:35for extraordinary friendships
152. 5:37and they're both a part of my vision
153. 5:39first of all
154. 5:41i have to pick good friends
155. 5:44there are a lot of people to choose from
156. 5:46and i want to choose consciously
157. 5:48and i want to choose wisely you become
158. 5:52like your friends so i'm not hanging out
159. 5:54with people i don't want to be like
160. 5:56being selective is important to me
161. 5:58because relationships take a significant
162. 6:00investment
163. 6:01of time and energy
164. 6:05secondly i not only have to select good
165. 6:08friends
166. 6:08i've got to be a good friend i've got to
167. 6:11ask myself
168. 6:13am i the kind of a friend i'd like to
169. 6:15have
170. 6:16do i carry my own weight in this
171. 6:18friendship
172. 6:19what am i bringing to this relationship
173. 6:24to me being a good friend entails always
174. 6:27being there
175. 6:28lending a helping hand sharing in the
176. 6:30joys
177. 6:31and helping through the tough times i
178. 6:34want my friends to be able to count on
179. 6:36me
180. 6:37in both the good times and the bad i
181. 6:39want to help them meet their needs
182. 6:42i want to be a giving friend in every
183. 6:44sense of the word
184. 6:45i want to operate with kindness and
185. 6:47compassion in my relationships
186. 6:49pay compliments whenever i can make my
187. 6:52friends feel
188. 6:53good make them feel important and loved
189. 6:56and supported
190. 6:58in any friendship i know that i'll reap
191. 7:01what i
192. 7:02sow so i'm in charge of giving what i
193. 7:04want to get
194. 7:06being open and honest is going to get me
195. 7:08openness and honesty
196. 7:11being adversarial is going to get me in
197. 7:13trouble
198. 7:14i want great friendships so i need to
199. 7:17follow the golden rule
200. 7:18and do unto others as i want them to do
201. 7:20unto me
202. 7:24that's my vision that's how i see myself
203. 7:27in this category
204. 7:28i want an extraordinary family life and
205. 7:31i want
206. 7:31fantastic friendships that energize me
207. 7:34and improve my life and i've defined
208. 7:37what that looks like to me
209. 7:39what is your vision for your social life
210. 7:42what kind of a relationship do you want
211. 7:44to have with your family members
212. 7:46do you need to spend more time with them
213. 7:48than you do right now do you need to
214. 7:49forge a stronger bond
215. 7:51what kind of friends do you want to have
216. 7:54are there specific people you'd like to
217. 7:56meet and bring into your life
218. 7:58what kind of a friend do you want to be
219. 8:01take a few moments now
220. 8:03and write down some thoughts on your
221. 8:05vision for your social life
222. 8:13one of the most important roles that a
223. 8:14friend plays is really
224. 8:16being there for the people that they
225. 8:18care about you can't do that
226. 8:20you're not a very good friend and we've
227. 8:22all had experience with this right
228. 8:24we've all had a fair-weather friend who
229. 8:26bailed on us when we needed them most
230. 8:29for whatever reason they just couldn't
231. 8:31handle the situation or they got
232. 8:32uncomfortable
233. 8:33or they just didn't care enough they
234. 8:35weren't there for us
235. 8:36when we needed them and then there are
236. 8:39friends who do anything for you
237. 8:42you know whatever you need whenever you
238. 8:43need a hand they're going to be there
239. 8:45when you need support they're going to
240. 8:47show up they'd walk through
241. 8:49fire for you they bring serious value
242. 8:52and meaning to that relationship those
243. 8:55are the kind of friends that you want to
244. 8:56have those are the kinds of friends you
245. 8:58want to be
246. 8:59it's great to reach down and help people
247. 9:02up that's what good friends do
248. 9:04having the opportunity to do that is a
249. 9:06real privilege to help
250. 9:08somebody else out makes you feel good
251. 9:09about yourself
252. 9:11compassion and benevolence are really
253. 9:14really good things to have in a
254. 9:15friendship
255. 9:16but on the other hand we've got to be
256. 9:18careful that our relationships
257. 9:20aren't exclusively about reaching down
258. 9:23and pulling people up you want friends
259. 9:26who pull your life forward as well
260. 9:28friends that raise the bar for you and
261. 9:31inspire you
262. 9:32just by being around them you want
263. 9:35friends with a positive orientation to
264. 9:37life
265. 9:38people who strive to be all they can be
266. 9:40and who push you
267. 9:41and who challenge you to be the best you
268. 9:45that you can possibly be you want to
269. 9:47hang around with friends and family
270. 9:49that are happy and healthy and empowered
271. 9:53and just great to be around
272. 9:56your social life is so important it can
273. 9:58be one of the richest areas of your life
274. 10:01if you bring consciousness to it and
275. 10:03really develop it
276. 10:04and shape it the way you want it so
277. 10:07invest some time in this category
278. 10:09define what you're after here set up
279. 10:12some ground rules around your
280. 10:14friendships
281. 10:15then go out and make it happen
282. 10:19tomorrow we're going to explore this
283. 10:21fascinating and fun category a little
284. 10:23deeper
285. 10:24and until then thanks so much for being
286. 10:27here
287. 10:28you're really on your way with this
288. 10:29challenge now have a great day
289. 10:32and i'll see you tomorrow as we continue
290. 10:34our exploration
291. 10:36of your social life
292. 10:51you