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“Your Mother Changed The Password! Now I Can’t Even Buy A Closet!” Twenty Minutes Later, My Son W... — Transcript

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0:00"Honey, your mother changed the
0:01password. Now I can't even buy a
0:04closet."
0:05I heard every word of it because my son
0:08had her on speaker in his truck when he
0:11called to tell me he was on his way.
0:1320 minutes later, he came through my
0:15front door without knocking, shouting
0:18for the password.
0:20When I told him no, he slapped me hard
0:22enough that I tasted blood, and he hit
0:25me again before I could get a hand up.
0:28He was 38 years old, and I had once held
0:31him through a fever for 3 nights
0:33straight.
0:34I stood in my own kitchen with a dish
0:36towel pressed to my mouth, and the
0:38strangest thing happened.
0:40I wasn't afraid. I looked past him at
0:43the little camera I had screwed above
0:45the back door 2 months earlier, its red
0:48light steady, and I thought, "Good. He
0:51has no idea what he just did."
0:53My name is Marilyn Heart. I was 66 years
0:57old when all of this happened, and for
0:5944 years
1:00I have run an alterations and
1:02dressmaking business
1:04out of the converted sunroom behind my
1:06house in Dayton, Ohio. Hems, zippers,
1:09prom dresses, and wedding gowns. If you
1:12grew up around here, there's a fair
1:14chance I pinned something on you.
1:16My husband, Larry, framed houses for
1:19Campbell Builders for 38 years, and we
1:22raised our only boy, Brett, on his
1:24paychecks and my thread. We were not
1:27rich. We clipped coupons, drove our cars
1:30until the floorboards rusted, and paid
1:33off the mortgage the year Brett turned
1:3530.
1:37Tell me the name of your city in the
1:38comments, and I'll tell you what
1:40happened next.
1:43Larry died 2 years before all of this in
1:46March of a heart attack in the driveway.
1:48He was carrying a bag of mulch. I was
1:51inside making meatloaf. People tell you
1:54grief is a wave. For me, it was more
1:56like walking around with a stone in my
1:58coat pocket that I forgot I was carrying
2:01until I tried to sit down.
2:03A few weeks after the funeral, Mr.
2:05Graham, our lawyer, went through Larry's
2:08papers with me and told me something I'd
2:10never known.
2:12Larry had been putting money into a
2:14separate account for decades, a little
2:16from every overtime check, plus a life
2:19insurance policy I'd forgotten about.
2:22It came to $140,000.
2:25Larry never said a word.
2:27I think he wanted to surprise me someday
2:30with a trip to Ireland he'd been
2:32promising since 1991.
2:35I cried in Mr. Graham's office for 10
2:37minutes straight and he handed me
2:39tissues and didn't say anything, which
2:41is why I trusted him.
2:43That money was supposed to be my safety
2:45net.
2:46Medicare doesn't cover everything and I
2:49knew what a roof replacement costs.
2:52Brett married Samantha 3 years before
2:55all of this. She was 29, pretty in a
2:58polished way, and she called me Mom from
3:01the first week. She hugged me at every
3:03holiday and asked about my recipes. She
3:06asked me to teach her to sew a button
3:08and I was touched by it.
3:10I'll admit it plainly.
3:12After so many years of having just a
3:14son, I wanted a daughter badly and she
3:17walked right through that door.
3:20The first request came about 4 months
3:23after Larry passed. Samantha called one
3:25afternoon, warm as a cup of cocoa.
3:28Brett had been getting fewer hours at
3:30the distribution center and money was
3:32tight.
3:34Could she borrow my card for a few
3:35things for the house?
3:37She'd pay me back. She was so
3:39embarrassed to ask.
3:41I gave her the card, of course I did.
3:43She was family.
3:45The first statement showed $900 at a
3:48home goods store. That seemed fine.
3:51The next showed a $3,000 leather
3:54sectional. The month after that, a glass
3:57dining table, a fancy espresso machine
4:00and a set of patio furniture for a patio
4:02they didn't have. When I asked her about
4:04it, she squeezed my hand and told me she
4:07was nesting. That they wanted to make a
4:10beautiful home for the babies they hoped
4:12to have, and wasn't it wonderful that
4:15I'd get to spoil my grandchildren in
4:17such a lovely house.
4:20I'm not proud of this, but that line
4:22worked on me for weeks. I wanted those
4:24grandchildren so badly I could taste it.
4:28When the monthly total crossed $9,000,
4:31I went to Brett.
4:33We sat at my kitchen table and I showed
4:35him the statement. He barely looked at
4:38it. Mom, it's Sam's job to make the
4:40house nice. You're not using that money
4:43for anything.
4:44Dad would have wanted us comfortable.
4:47Then he said the thing that stuck in me
4:49like a needle.
4:50You've gotten kind of tight since he
4:52died.
4:54Tight. I'd stitched bridal gowns at
4:57midnight to put that boy through
4:58community college.
5:00I started noticing things after that.
5:03Samantha's nails were done every week, a
5:05color I couldn't afford to put on a
5:07sample card. Her handbag cost more than
5:10my first car. Brett's check from the
5:13distribution center was maybe 4,000 a
5:15month before taxes, and yet they were
5:18eating at steak houses and spending
5:21weekends at a resort in the Hocking
5:23Hills.
5:24One afternoon, I found a receipt on my
5:26sewing room floor that had slipped out
5:28of her purse. It was from a med spa in
5:31Columbus. $600 for one facial treatment.
5:35I charged 1,800 for a custom wedding
5:38gown, 40 hours of hand work, and she was
5:41spending a third of that on her face in
5:43an hour.
5:44My neighbor, Cheryl Olson, finally put
5:47the last piece in front of me.
5:49Cheryl cleans houses in the nice part of
5:52town 3 days a week, and she's the best
5:55zip and the best friend a woman could
5:57ask for.
5:58She came by one Thursday evening with a
6:01casserole and a funny look. Marilyn, I
6:04was at the Price house today. Mrs. Price
6:06just bought a leather sectional off a
6:08young woman, half price, practically
6:11new. Showed me the photos. It's yours. I
6:14mean, it's the one on your statement.
6:17I had seen Samantha's living room two
6:19weeks before.
6:21It still had the old fabric couch Brett
6:23bought in college.
6:25I didn't say anything that night. I did
6:27what I'd always done when a seam
6:30wouldn't lie flat. I took it apart
6:32carefully to see what was underneath.
6:35First, I went to the bank. The branch
6:37manager, Mr. Foster, had known Larry and
6:40me for 20 years.
6:42He pulled my statements and went quiet
6:44for a long moment. Then he told me
6:46kindly but plainly that this looked like
6:49someone using my card to buy goods in
6:51bulk, and that I should shut the card
6:54down immediately, change my passwords
6:56and PIN, and talk to the police and a
6:59lawyer before I did anything else.
7:02I shut down the card that afternoon and
7:04changed the online password.
7:07I did it quietly, and I didn't announce
7:10it, because Mr. Foster said the longer
7:12she didn't know, the more information I
7:14could gather. That is why the phone call
7:16that opened this story, Samantha
7:18screaming that she couldn't even buy a
7:21closet, came as such a shock to her.
7:24She had a custom closet system
7:26picked out for $14,000.
7:29The deposit was due that morning.
7:32When the card declined in front of the
7:34designer, she called my son in hysterics
7:37and told him I was punishing her.
7:39He came to my house to take the password
7:42by force.
7:44After he hit me, he stood there
7:46breathing hard.
7:47The anger drained out of his face, and
7:50something worse took its place, like he
7:51couldn't quite believe his own hand.
7:54I didn't give him the chance to
7:56apologize, and I didn't give him the
7:58password. I said very quietly, "Look up,
8:01Brett. The camera caught all of it."
8:04He looked at the little red light, and
8:06the color went out of his face.
8:09Mom, I didn't mean
8:11Get out of my house.
8:13He went.
8:14I sat on my kitchen floor for a while,
8:16and then I did three things in order.
8:19I took photographs of my face with my
8:21phone. I knocked on Cheryl's door and
8:23had her photograph my face, too, and
8:26write down the time. Then I drove myself
8:28to the emergency room, where a doctor
8:30with tired eyes documented a split lip,
8:33a bruised cheekbone, and a sprained
8:36wrist from where I'd caught myself on
8:38the counter.
8:40When the nurse asked me what happened, I
8:41said, "My son hit me." And I heard how
8:44it sounded in the room, and I kept my
8:46chin up.
8:48A hospital social worker named Ms.
8:50Peters sat with me for half an hour. She
8:53told me the thing I'd been too proud to
8:55say to myself,
8:57that what happened wasn't a family
8:58disagreement. It was assault, and in
9:01Ohio, assaulting a person over 65
9:04carries consequences all of its own. I
9:07could press charges. I did not want to.
9:10I said so, and I cried, and she let me.
9:14Then I thought about Larry, who never
9:16raised a hand to anyone in his life, and
9:19about every woman I'd ever pinned a hem
9:21for who had told me, with a pin between
9:24my teeth, that she didn't want to make
9:26trouble. I told her I'd think about it
9:28overnight.
9:29By morning, I'd made my mind up.
9:32A police officer took my statement at my
9:34kitchen table.
9:36Mr. Graham came with him.
9:38The footage went to the officer on a
9:39thumb drive, and the next day Brett was
9:42arrested at work.
9:44I won't tell you that was easy.
9:46I sat in my sewing room afterward with
9:49Larry's old thimble on the shelf where I
9:51kept it, and I wept like I hadn't since
9:54the funeral. But I did not call anybody
9:56to take it back.
9:58Brett was released the next day.
10:00He called me 40 times, and I didn't
10:03answer.
10:04Samantha called 60. Some of the messages
10:07were sobbing, some were sweet, and some
10:09were something else entirely.
10:11The last one said, "You're going to
10:13regret this, old woman." I saved every
10:16single one.
10:17Mr. Graham told me to keep my head down
10:20and let him work.
10:21He also told me something I hadn't asked
10:24about.
10:25"Marilyn, this isn't only your son.
10:28I think your daughter-in-law has done
10:29this before."
10:31He was right.
10:32Detective Foster, a different Foster, no
10:35relation to the banker, called me 3 days
10:37later. He'd run Samantha's name.
10:41Before she married Brett, she had been
10:43Samantha Berry, and under that name,
10:46there was an old complaint in
10:47Indianapolis from the family of an
10:49elderly man who had lost $30,000 to a
10:53caregiver.
10:54Nothing had stuck. The family had given
10:57up. There was another one in Louisville
10:59with the same pattern.
11:01A woman who was warm and attentive, a
11:04vulnerable older person, and a house
11:06that slowly emptied out.
11:08"She's good," Detective Foster told me.
11:11"She stays just on the right side of
11:13what a prosecutor can prove. That's why
11:15we need her to say it out loud."
11:19Here is where I think I did something
11:20smart, and also what I want you to hear
11:23if you're ever in this position.
11:25I didn't confront her myself, and I
11:28didn't go sneaking into her house.
11:30Detective Foster explained that anything
11:33I got by breaking in would taint the
11:35case.
11:36So, I did exactly what he asked. I let
11:38the police do their jobs.
11:41Samantha came to my door the following
11:43Saturday.
11:45I had agreed to meet her with Detective
11:47Foster's blessing and with two
11:49plainclothes officers in my dining room
11:52behind a closed door and a small
11:55recorder taped under the table with a
11:57second one running on my phone.
11:59Sheryl was across the street watching
12:02with her phone in her hand.
12:04I'd never felt so protected or so
12:06scared.
12:07She came in wearing cream-colored
12:09cashmere. No hug this time.
12:11She sat at my kitchen table and folded
12:13her hands.
12:15"Marilyn," she said, "No, Mom. You've
12:18made this very complicated. Brett is
12:20facing charges because of you. I think
12:22we can fix that."
12:24"How?"
12:25"You drop it. All of it.
12:28You give me access to the account again
12:30and you sign a power of attorney since
12:33you're clearly under strain.
12:35You've had a terrible 2 years and
12:37frankly, people your age don't manage
12:39large sums well. If there's ever a
12:41question about your competence, I'll be
12:43right there."
12:45She smiled the smile I knew.
12:47"Brett told me about the closet, by the
12:49way.
12:50I wasn't going to say anything, but yes,
12:52I did sell some of the things. A few
12:55pieces. So what? You were never going to
12:58use that money.
12:59Do you know how many women your age die
13:01with fortunes in the bank and nothing to
13:04show for it?
13:06I put it to better use than you would
13:07have."
13:09I kept my voice steady.
13:10"You told Brett I gave it to you
13:12freely."
13:13"I told Brett what he needed to hear.
13:16He's very easy, Marilyn. Honestly, so
13:18were you."
13:19She leaned back.
13:21"I'll tell him you've lost your mind.
13:23I'll tell the court you're confused and
13:25paranoid. I've already started. Your
13:28lawyer is a small-town man who bills by
13:30the hour. I'll have a better one. You'll
13:33end up in a care facility and I'll end
13:35up with the house."
13:37"What about the money in your closet?" I
13:39asked. I'd been told by a friend of
13:41Cheryl's who knew somebody at their
13:43apartment complex that Samantha kept her
13:46cash somewhere.
13:47I took a guess. "The box."
13:50Her eyes flicked and that was enough.
13:53"Who's been talking to you?" she
13:55snapped. "That's mine. I earned it.
13:58$26,000
14:00and you'll never see a cent."
14:02She stopped.
14:03She looked at the closed door of my
14:05dining room and something finally
14:07clicked behind her eyes.
14:09Detective Foster stepped out with two
14:11officers behind him.
14:13"Mrs. Hart," he said, using the name
14:15she'd been married under, "thank you.
14:18That's been very helpful."
14:20She didn't scream. That's what I
14:22remember most. She went completely
14:25still, the way a snake does, and then
14:27she looked at me with a hatred so pure
14:30that I almost felt sorry for her.
14:33Then she did start screaming about the
14:35lawyer she'd get and about her rights.
14:38They put the cuffs on her at my kitchen
14:40table next to a plate of lemon bars I'd
14:43baked that morning because I hadn't
14:45known what else to do with my hands.
14:48They found the box in the back of her
14:50bedroom closet 2 hours later, wrapped in
14:52a gym towel. It held $26,400
14:56in cash, rubber-banded in stacks. Beside
14:59it was a spiral notebook with names in
15:01it, including mine. Marilyn H, widow,
15:0466, 140K, one son, easily led. Under
15:09that, three other names and addresses in
15:11our neighborhood. Women I knew. One of
15:14them had a funeral that spring. One
15:17[clears throat] was Mrs. Price's sister.
15:19I looked at that page for a long time.
15:22The next victim was only a few streets
15:24away, and I was the one who stopped her.
15:27Now I need to tell you about my son
15:30because so many of you have asked.
15:32Brett pled no contest to misdemeanor
15:34assault.
15:35Ohio doesn't let a victim simply wave a
15:38charge away once it's filed, and I
15:40didn't try. The judge gave him a
15:42suspended jail sentence, 18 full months
15:45of probation, a court-ordered anger
15:48management program,
15:49and a no-contact order that I later
15:51asked the court to soften. He lost his
15:54job at the distribution center when the
15:56arrest hit the local news.
15:58A man on probation who hit his
16:0066-year-old mother
16:02doesn't get many callbacks.
16:04A few weeks after the plea, once the
16:07court had softened the no-contact order,
16:09he showed up at my door. I did not let
16:12him in. I spoke to him through the
16:14screen. He was gaunt and unshaven, and
16:17he looked 10 years older than he had in
16:19March. He had a folded paper in his
16:22fist.
16:23"I read the notebook, Mom," he said. His
16:26voice cracked. "The detective showed me.
16:29She wrote that I was easy. She wrote it
16:31down like I was a piece of furniture."
16:33He swallowed.
16:34"I hit my mother because a liar cried at
16:37me."
16:38"You did," I said.
16:40"I know it doesn't fix anything. I'm not
16:42asking to come in. I just wanted to say
16:45it to your face."
16:46He held out the paper. It was a printed
16:49schedule, his anger management classes
16:52three times a week, and a signed letter
16:54from a counselor at the county clinic.
16:57"I'm going to everyone, and I'm going to
16:59pay you back every dollar, even the ones
17:01she spent.
17:03I don't care if it takes 10 years."
17:06I looked at my son through the mesh of
17:08that door. The people in the comments
17:10keep telling me I should have shut the
17:12door on him forever. Some of you are
17:14right, and I understand why. A man who
17:18raises a hand to his mother should lose
17:20something, and he did lose things, his
17:23job, his marriage, his standing, and my
17:26trust. I could not simply hug him and
17:29carry on.
17:30But I'm also his mother, and I had seen
17:33him put his own hand over his mouth when
17:35he read that notebook.
17:37The way he did when he was six and broke
17:40Larry's favorite coffee mug.
17:43"You won't live here," I told him. "You
17:45won't have a key.
17:47You won't have my number until your
17:49counselor tells me you've finished the
17:51program. We'll talk through Mr. Graham,
17:54and you can write to me. That's the only
17:56road back, Brett.
17:58It's a long one, and you'll walk it by
18:00yourself."
18:01He nodded.
18:03He didn't argue. I watched him walk down
18:05my driveway, and then I shut the door
18:08and sat on the hallway floor and shook
18:10for 20 minutes.
18:11Samantha's case took 9 months. The
18:14county prosecutor, a sharp young woman
18:17named Ms. Payne, built it from
18:19everything we had. She had Samantha's
18:21recorded confession from the kitchen
18:23table along with the second recording
18:25from my phone,
18:27the bank records, the resale receipts
18:30that Cheryl and her friends helped track
18:32down, the notebook, and the cash.
18:36She had witnesses from two other states.
18:39She even had the designer from the
18:40closet company
18:42who testified that Samantha had
18:44mentioned in passing that her
18:46mother-in-law was loaded and basically
18:49senile.
18:50Samantha's attorney tried everything.
18:53He said I'd given her the card freely.
18:56He said I was grieving and confused.
18:58He suggested the recordings were edited.
19:01Then Miss Payne stood up and played the
19:03part where Samantha said,
19:05"Honestly, so were you."
19:08And the courtroom went so quiet I could
19:09hear the clock.
19:11The jury took 3 hours.
19:13They found her guilty of theft by
19:15deception, identity fraud, and engaging
19:18in a pattern of corrupt activity, plus
19:21attempted elder exploitation for the
19:23power of attorney scheme.
19:26At sentencing, the judge looked at her
19:28over his glasses and said something I'll
19:30remember for the rest of my life.
19:33"Mrs. Hart, you did not stumble into
19:35this. You studied it."
19:37She received 7 years in the women's
19:39reformatory in Marysville with orders to
19:42pay full restitution, and the money from
19:45the box was frozen and credited toward
19:47it.
19:48I sat in the front row in my navy blue
19:51suit, the one I'd made myself for
19:53Larry's funeral.
19:55When the bailiff cuffed her, she looked
19:56back at me once.
19:58She didn't say a word. She didn't look
20:00like a woman with a plan anymore. She
20:03looked like what she was,
20:05a 33-year-old in a courtroom with nobody
20:08in her corner and not a dollar left to
20:10charm her way out of anything. Her
20:13mother wasn't in the gallery, neither
20:15was anyone else.
20:17Mrs. Price's sister came to the
20:19courthouse that day, an elderly woman
20:21with a cane, and she squeezed my hand
20:24and whispered, "I'd have been next."
20:27That's the moment I knew the whole thing
20:28had been worth it.
20:30When it was all over, I recovered about
20:32$91,000
20:34between the frozen cash, the restitution
20:37payments, and a civil judgment Mr.
20:39Graham won against the buyers who had
20:42knowingly purchased returned goods.
20:45It wasn't every cent, but Larry's money
20:48was safe again, and now I keep it in a
20:50trust at the credit union with Mr.
20:53Graham as trustee in a clause that says
20:56nobody can touch it without two
20:58signatures, one of them mine.
21:00I raised my prices, too.
21:03A woman in my comments asked why I only
21:05charged $1,800 for a wedding gown, and
21:08she was right.
21:10These days it's $3,500, and I have a
21:13waiting list into next spring.
21:16Turns out that when you stop letting
21:18people take from you, you start noticing
21:20what you're worth.
21:22Brett finished his program 11 months
21:24after the plea. His counselor sent me a
21:27letter, and so did he. I didn't answer
21:29right away.
21:31I waited another 2 months, partly to be
21:33sure, and partly because I needed to.
21:36Then I wrote him back one line, "Come
21:39for coffee Sunday. Bring nothing."
21:42He came.
21:43We sat at the same kitchen table where
21:45it had all started. He had a new job
21:47hanging drywall for a small contractor,
21:51and calloused hands again, like his
21:53father's. He put an envelope on the
21:55table, the first payment on what he
21:57dollars.
21:59I didn't want it.
22:00Mr. Graham told me to take it, because
22:03Brett needed to see the debt shrink.
22:06So, I took it, and I wrote the amount in
22:09a little notebook I keep by the sewing
22:11machine, a ledger of my own.
22:13He's paid me every month since. It's
22:16been a year.
22:17He still doesn't have a key, though he
22:19knows where I hide the spare, because
22:21he's his father's son. Last Sunday he
22:24fixed the gutter on the back porch
22:26without being asked. And when he came
22:28in, his knees were soaked. And I handed
22:31him a towel and a cup of coffee, and
22:33neither of us said anything about it.
22:36Do I trust him fully? No. Kathleen, you
22:40wrote in the comments that you couldn't
22:41fully trust your son again, and I want
22:44you to know I understand. I haven't
22:46either.
22:47Trust is like a hem you have to restitch
22:49by hand, one small pull at a time. And
22:52some days you find a thread that won't
22:54hold, but I'd rather build it slowly
22:56with a man who owns what he did than
22:59keep a door shut on a son who's trying.
23:02Sheryl and I still have our casserole
23:05Thursdays.
23:07The security camera is still above my
23:09back door, and I've added one at the
23:11front.
23:12Last month, I sat with six women from
23:15the church and showed them how to check
23:17their statements, and where to freeze
23:19their credit, and the youngest was 71.
23:22One of them told me afterward she'd been
23:24about to hand her debit card to her
23:27grandson for a little help with a
23:29project. She went home and thought about
23:32it.
23:33Sometimes I take out the old spiral
23:35notebook copy that Detective Foster let
23:37me keep. I read the line again, Marilyn
23:40H, widow, easily led.
23:42Then I go to my sewing machine, sit down
23:45at the table where I've made a thousand
23:47wedding dresses, and I get back to work.
23:50A bride is coming Saturday, and I have a
23:53hem to finish.
23:56Being generous feels good right up until
23:58you notice it's expected.
24:00Was there a moment you suddenly realized
24:03you were being taken advantage of?

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