Your Brain Won’t Let You Change — Until This Happens — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00This is the prime time to get deep into
2. 0:02some hardcore hardcore brainwashing. So,
3. 0:04we're going to take the most hardcore
4. 0:06approaches that have ever been done and
5. 0:08learn how to like redirect it on oursel
6. 0:11first. This is the way that I do it. I
7. 0:15reverse engineered every classified and
8. 0:18unclassified training document I've ever
9. 0:20read in my life and just kind of reverse
10. 0:22engineered it [music] to work on myself
11. 0:24and to change my own behavior. And I
12. 0:26think there's a ton of really high
13. 0:29quality [ __ ] out there about goal
14. 0:31setting and and discipline and and how
15. 0:34to change your own behavior. If your
16. 0:36brain does not have the raw materials to
17. 0:38[music] produce motivation and and focus
18. 0:41and emotional regulation, there is no
19. 0:44mindset on earth or meditation program
20. 0:48in the [music] world that's ever going
21. 0:49to save you ever. So I don't care how
22. 0:52disciplined that you think you should
23. 0:54be. If the chemistry is off, the system
24. 0:57fails. Period. Full stop. [music] And
25. 1:00that's a just a mechanical failure. So,
26. 1:02it's not that you didn't accomplish your
27. 1:04goals or you were weak or that you
28. 1:06needed more discipline or more
29. 1:07motivation. It's just that the system
30. 1:09you're using is underpowered. So, most
31. 1:12people in this room don't have a
32. 1:14discipline problem. You have [music] a
33. 1:16manufacturing problem. So,
34. 1:18neurotransmitters are not beliefs. But
35. 1:21there are three big chemicals that
36. 1:23decide if you're going to win. And I
37. 1:25want to [music] try to strip this down
38. 1:26to what actually matters. And the first
39. 1:28one is dopamine. And on our final exams
40. 1:31when I was in school for this, there
41. 1:33were three words for all the
42. 1:35neurotransmitters that we had to
43. 1:36memorize, which was a great way to kind
44. 1:38of shorthand it. And for dopamine in
45. 1:40college for me, it was drive, direction,
46. 1:43and pursuit. Drive, direction, pursuit.
47. 1:45[music] So people say dopamine is
48. 1:47pleasure. That's a lie. It's way
49. 1:50completely false. Dopamine dysregulation
50. 1:53is the cause of Parkinson's.
51. 1:55Has nothing to do with pleasure. So
52. 1:58dopamine is misunderstood.
53. 2:01Dopamine is the signal that something is
54. 2:04worth moving toward. So when dopamine is
55. 2:07healthy, if I make some effort, it feels
56. 2:09meaningful. If I make some progress in
57. 2:12my life, it feels real. And the actions
58. 2:14that I'm taking towards a goal or
59. 2:16whatever feel really obvious. If
60. 2:18dopamine's low in the brain, [ __ ] feels
61. 2:20pointless. Planning replaces action.
62. 2:22[music] I'm going to do all these
63. 2:23journals, the little one-year plans,
64. 2:26little whiteboards. The word tomorrow
65. 2:28becomes kind of a lifestyle for us. And
66. 2:31the second neurotransmitter is
67. 2:32serotonin. [music]
68. 2:33And the three words I want you just to
69. 2:35think about with serotonin is control,
70. 2:37stability, and restraint. [music]
71. 2:39Serotonin is not happiness. I want you
72. 2:41to think of serotonin as impulse [music]
73. 2:44control. It's the chemical that lets you
74. 2:46pause instead of just reacting to
75. 2:49something. It lets you [music] delay
76. 2:51gratification. It lets you stick with
77. 2:54something when it gets uncomfortable.
78. 2:56So, if your serotonin is low, it looks
79. 2:58like emotional volatility. You have more
80. 3:02anxiety. You get pissed off more easily.
81. 3:04It's the I know exactly what I should
82. 3:07do, but I can't make myself do it. And
83. 3:09the third chemical is norepinephrine.
84. 3:12Norepinephrine. And the three words I I
85. 3:15want you to associate with this are
86. 3:17readiness, energy, [music] and backbone.
87. 3:20So this is the one that people confuse
88. 3:22with stress. [music] But if you look at
89. 3:24norepinephrine, it's regulated
90. 3:26intensity. Healthy levels of
91. 3:28neuroepinephrine [music]
92. 3:29feel like an alert sense of calm, like
93. 3:33you're more resilient to stress, [music]
94. 3:36and like a readiness to act if something
95. 3:38happens. Low norepinephrine is brain
96. 3:41fog, avoidance, learned helplessness,
97. 3:44fatigue that sleep [music] won't fix.
98. 3:47And if your norepinephrine is too high,
99. 3:48we have anxiety and panic and burnout
100. 3:51and definitely definitely going to get
101. 3:54some insomnia there. But let me kill one
102. 3:56more myth here. And this is a big one I
103. 3:58had written down. Vitamin and mineral
104. 4:01deficiencies
105. 4:03don't just happen to malnourished kids
106. 4:05in Somalia. They happen to people that
107. 4:08are stressed, that are that live a busy
108. 4:10life, that are disciplined, people who
109. 4:13push through stuff, uh people who skip
110. 4:15meals, people who sleep like [ __ ]
111. 4:17people who live on a whole lot of
112. 4:19caffeine and adrenaline. So, I want I
113. 4:21just want you to write this one thing
114. 4:22down. Stress burns nutrients. And if I
115. 4:26have less nutrients, I have
116. 4:27inflammation. And inflammation blocks
117. 4:30the absorption even further. And then
118. 4:33sleep deprivation wrecks our receptor
119. 4:36sensitivity, the receptors that we need
120. 4:38to absorb all this good stuff. So you
121. 4:41can eat a the most perfect diet ever and
122. 4:44still be super depleted. So your body is
123. 4:47not failing on its own. It's adapting to
124. 4:51essentially what you're doing to it is
125. 4:52abuse. So let me say the lie out loud in
126. 4:56a in a way that makes total sense for
127. 4:58you. If you define your goal clearly
128. 5:01enough, if you want it badly enough and
129. 5:04you visualize it long enough, your
130. 5:05behavior is going to start aligning.
131. 5:07That sounds reasonable, but it's
132. 5:09absolutely completely wrong. Cuz what
133. 5:12what is that assuming? When you go watch
134. 5:14a Tony Robbins goal setting video,
135. 5:15what's it assuming? It assumes that
136. 5:17you're a rational decision maker. You
137. 5:20have stable motivation. It assumes that
138. 5:22you have stable motivation that never
139. 5:24goes away. This assumes a completely
140. 5:27cooperative [music] nervous system
141. 5:28that's running on balanced
142. 5:30neurotransmitters and has no
143. 5:32deficiencies. And it also assumes a
144. 5:35brain [music] that prioritizes the
145. 5:36future over the present. Not one of
146. 5:39those things describe a human being
147. 5:40under stress. This is why they fail. So
148. 5:42if your identity says, "I'm the kind of
149. 5:45person who quits. I quit everything. I'm
150. 5:47inconsistent. I always fall off. I do I
151. 5:50start everything great and I finish
152. 5:52everything in a shitty way." Your
153. 5:54nervous system will protect that story
154. 5:56no matter how badass and pretty and
155. 5:58awesome the goal is. [music] The brain
156. 6:00values predictability above success. I'm
157. 6:03going to say that again. That's very
158. 6:04important. The brain values
159. 6:06predictability over success. Let me
160. 6:08slaughter one more sacred [music] cow
161. 6:10here. Willpower is a myth and people
162. 6:13call it a trait. He's got good
163. 6:15willpower. I have high or low. Willpower
164. 6:17is a temporary chemical [music] state
165. 6:20and that's all it is. And when you hear
166. 6:22all these people out there saying,
167. 6:24"Well, I just need more discipline."
168. 6:26What they're really saying is you should
169. 6:28override biology indefinitely. [music]
170. 6:31And I think you know, even if you've
171. 6:32been in grad school for 3 weeks, you
172. 6:34know that that's ignorant. I'm going to
173. 6:37say this in a way that sounds like it
174. 6:39might contradict what I've said before
175. 6:41in grad school, but hang with me for a
176. 6:43minute. You do not have habits the way
177. 6:45that people talk about habits. [music]
178. 6:46You have an identity that produces
179. 6:49predictable behavior. That's what you
180. 6:52call habits. You have an identity that
181. 6:54produces predictable behavior. Identity
182. 6:56is what your nervous system predicts you
183. 6:58will do under pressure. That's identity.
184. 7:01That's all it is. So your brain has one
185. 7:04big sacred rule is do not violate the
186. 7:07story. Do not violate the story. The big
187. 7:10roadblock is that identity change feels
188. 7:13[music] like death. So you're behaving
189. 7:16in a way that contradicts your identity.
190. 7:18You're violating your brain's number one
191. 7:20rule. Stay with the story. You're
192. 7:22violating the rule [music] of the brain.
193. 7:25So your brain experiences this as
194. 7:27danger, exposure. I'm going to get
195. 7:30judged. There's a loss of belonging, a
196. 7:32loss of predictability.
197. 7:34So [music] you have to destroy the old
198. 7:36one first. So there's three mechanisms
199. 7:39that change identity fast, especially if
200. 7:41you're manipulating another person.
201. 7:43embarrassment, disgust, and aversion.
202. 7:46[music]
203. 7:47Those three things you can change an
204. 7:48identity, but we're doing it to
205. 7:50ourselves. So, we stop [music] forever
206. 7:52for the rest of your life. Stop saying,
207. 7:54"I'm working on myself or I'm trying to
208. 7:57change." And start being disgusted with
209. 8:00that other version of yourself.
210. 8:02Absolutely nauseated, disgusted. You
211. 8:05always repeat the phrase, "That version
212. 8:08is beneath me. That behavior is
213. 8:11unbelievably embarrassing. That behavior
214. 8:13is disgusting. That thought process is
215. 8:16disgusting.
216. 8:18I don't recognize myself when I act like
217. 8:20that. And then we're going to employ
218. 8:22another tactic that narcissists use and
219. 8:24cults use on [music] our self. And this
220. 8:26one is shame. Shame is a fast controller
221. 8:29of human behavior. Uncontrolled shame is
222. 8:32[music] destructive. Targeted shame, if
223. 8:36it's aimed at a specific behavior or an
224. 8:38identity pattern, is one of the fastest
225. 8:41ways to change. The reason for this is
226. 8:43because shame is a social survival
227. 8:46signal. It tells the mamalian brain,
228. 8:49"This behavior threatens my standing.
229. 8:52And standing or reputation matters more
230. 8:56than comfort every single time." That's
231. 8:58why people change it instantly.
232. 9:00Instantly. You've seen it before in your
233. 9:01life. I guarantee [music] it. If
234. 9:03continuing your old behavior feels
235. 9:05comfortable, then you haven't killed the
236. 9:07identity yet. That's a good rule. So,
237. 9:09the goal is this. Here's the number one
238. 9:11goal that I want you to set for the new
239. 9:13year. My old behaviors feel awkward.
240. 9:15[music] My old excuses sound stupid. And
241. 9:19my old routines feel foreign. That's how
242. 9:22you know it's working. If those [music]
243. 9:23three come true. If you think motivation
244. 9:25is the problem, this is dopamine
245. 9:27depletion, over stimulation, or [music]
246. 9:30you're lacking visible or monitored
247. 9:34progress. So, the thing that you need to
248. 9:36do here is shrink the task until
249. 9:40completion is absolutely guaranteed.
250. 9:41[music]
251. 9:42You introduce these little measurable
252. 9:44wins and you remove all novelty drains
253. 9:48from your life except for the ones that
254. 9:50you create yourself. [music] Not I'm
255. 9:51talking about like doom scrolling and
256. 9:53stuff like that. If discipline collapses
257. 9:56the moment you have some kind of stress,
258. 9:59this is likely serotonin instability,
259. 10:01poor sleep, the fix here is just
260. 10:03behavioral routines at fixed times and
261. 10:06eliminate choices during any high stress
262. 10:09period. If you're the type who avoids
263. 10:11hard stuff, this is norepinephrine,
264. 10:13[music] threat sensitivity, learned
265. 10:14helplessness. You need short controlled
266. 10:17exposure to discomfort if this is you.
267. 10:19[music] So, this could be super cold
268. 10:21water, like taking a cold shower in the
269. 10:23morning. I personally prefer James Bond
270. 10:26showers is what I call them. I start off
271. 10:28with a hot shower and just kind of
272. 10:29gradually turn that that [music] thing
273. 10:31uh down as I'm getting through. So, if
274. 10:33you're the type that starts strong and
275. 10:35fades out, the likely causes of this is
276. 10:37noveltydriven dopamine. [music] And the
277. 10:39what you're lacking is ritual. And I
278. 10:41just want you to maybe write this down
279. 10:43if if it's necessary for you. Behavior
280. 10:45will change chemistry faster than any
281. 10:47thought in your life ever will. [music]
282. 10:49You cannot think your way into
283. 10:51confidence.