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You're 54 Minutes Away From Never Being Broke & Lost Again | Vishen Lakhiani — Transcript

by Jay Shetty Podcast · 10,754 words · 1,602 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Compassion is not something you do for
0:02other people. That's a great side
0:04effect. Compassion is something you do
0:06for yourself. It changes the way you
0:08function and show up in the world.
0:11So,
0:11The best-selling author and host
0:13The number one health and wellness
0:14podcast
0:15On Purpose with Jay Shetty
0:18Hey everyone, welcome back to the number
0:20one health podcast in the world. Thanks
0:23to each and every one of you that come
0:24back every week to listen, learn, and
0:27grow. And you know that I love
0:29introducing you to the thinkers,
0:30leaders, people who can inspire you to
0:33change your daily habits and make
0:36shifts, small shifts, that make big
0:38differences in your daily lives. Now,
0:41today I'm talking to a guest who's
0:42already been on the podcast before. He's
0:43a favorite here. I know you enjoy
0:45listening to him. And some of the videos
0:48that we've done together, when I've been
0:49speaking on his platform and he's been
0:50here, have gone absolutely viral. So, I
0:53know you're excited for this one. I'm
0:54talking about the one and only Vishen
0:57Lakhiani. Now, Vishen created
0:58Mindvalley, one of the world's most
1:00powerful life transformation platforms,
1:02that now has a following of 20 million
1:04people across 195
1:08countries. And today we're talking about
1:10his brand new book called The Six-Phase
1:13Meditation Method. And for those of you
1:15want to know how much I love and endorse
1:17this book and this human, I have a
1:19testimonial right on the back of the
1:21book. Uh this book is a practice. It's
1:24not just a book that you'll read. It's
1:25not just a book that will sit on your
1:27shelf. It's a book that you'll actually
1:28implement that will shift the way you
1:30think about meditation and the way you
1:33think. Welcome to the podcast, Vishen
1:35Lakhiani. Vishen. Thank you, Jay. Such
1:38an honor to be back here. I love the new
1:40podcast setup. I love your new place.
1:42This is amazing. Well, yes.
1:43seeing you grow and grow and grow. Oh,
1:46well, it's such an honor because I've
1:48had so much fun with you at multiple
1:50Mindvalley events, whether we were in
1:52Italy, Sardinia, whether we were in LA,
1:55where we did so many events together. I
1:57mean, I think the community that you've
1:59cultivated at Mindvalley is so special
2:02and the people there are so special and
2:04whenever I'm there I feel so much love,
2:06I feel so much genuine sincerity to grow
2:09and and my community here loves you too
2:11at home purpose.
2:12I can I appreciate you for one thing and
2:14many people don't know this about you
2:15and maybe you don't know this about you
2:17as well, but when I first met you in
2:192018 in Sardinia, you were speaking at
2:22one of my events, I was not on
2:24Instagram. I was not on social media at
2:26all. I felt I was too old. I didn't have
2:30no I felt imposter syndrome. I felt I
2:32don't know anything. I felt I'm too old
2:35and you were the person who convinced me
2:36to get on Instagram.
2:37know that.
2:38know that, but before then I used
2:40Instagram just to share I used Instagram
2:42as a gratitude wall. I would share
2:43pictures of things I was grateful for,
2:45never for an audience. And you showed me
2:48that it was possible. My Instagram blew
2:50up. It's now like 800,000 people at
2:52Vision and now I use it to to curate
2:56this this this community and to talk
2:58about my discoveries in personal growth,
3:00but you were the person who inspired me
3:01to get on. Oh, thank you, man. I had no
3:03idea. That's that's beautiful. I'm I'm
3:05happy for the world that you did get on,
3:07so.
3:07My first inspirational Instagram post
3:09happened 1 week after we spoke and you
3:11don't even remember this, but we spoke
3:12over dinner. Yeah, I I remember I've
3:14remembered all our meetings, but I think
3:16what you've done with Mindvalley, what
3:18you've done with your work has been
3:19incredible. Today I want to dive into
3:20parts of this book, but I want to dive
3:22into it with your experience because
3:25I think everyone can remember or has a
3:28distinct memory of their first
3:30meditation experience. What was your
3:32first meditation experience ever? Do you
3:34remember it? Like the first time you
3:35were ever introduced to any form of
3:37meditation?
3:38So, the first time it happened to me, I
3:41was 14 years old. I was a young kid in
3:43Malaysia
3:44and I decided to try a form of
3:47meditation that I learned from a book
3:49called The Silva Method, a really old
3:511960s, 1970s book. Back then, I was 14,
3:55so must have been like 1990. There was
3:58no internet in Malaysia. We had four
3:59television channels. So, really to pass
4:02the time by, all I did was I would
4:03browse all of the books in my father's
4:05bookshelf.
4:06And I discovered this book called The
4:07Silva Method. Now, the book captivated
4:10me because it spoke about how the mind
4:12can heal the body. What was happening
4:13with me back back then is
4:15I was having a really horrible skin
4:17problem. My face was covered in acne. I
4:20had very little confidence. I considered
4:22myself ugly. I had difficulty making
4:24friends at school.
4:25You know, even if I liked a girl, I had
4:27no confidence to even talk to her. And
4:29so, when I read in this book that the
4:31mind can heal the skin, I was game on. I
4:33want to figure this out. So, I tried
4:36practicing, nothing happened. I
4:38continued practicing, nothing happened.
4:40And there was very little results, but I
4:43read and reread and reread that book
4:45over and over and over and over again.
4:47Then I started picking other books from
4:49Bob Proctor, from uh Wayne Dyer. I
4:52started reading these books, it became a
4:53passion. And slowly things begin to
4:56click.
4:57And one day,
4:58applying the Silva Method, at this point
5:00I was 17 years old, things had finally
5:02started clicking. I begin to understand
5:04it's not just about hoping and wanting
5:06your skin to heal. There was a process,
5:08there was a method, there was a
5:09psychology. When it clicked, in 5 weeks
5:12I completely healed my skin. 5 years of
5:14skin disease healed in 5 weeks. Today,
5:17science talk about this as a thing, it's
5:19called psychodermatology, how your mind
5:21influences your skin. But that was my
5:23first evidence that we can use our minds
5:25to influence our bodies. Now, the next
5:27thing I did was I decided to see can I
5:29use my mind to accomplish a really big
5:31goal. For me, that was qualifying for
5:34the US Open Taekwondo Championships.
5:37Taekwondo is Korean karate. I was really
5:39into it, and I managed to qualify. My
5:41first ever trip to the United States,
5:43which was my dream land. Since I was
5:46like a kid, I wanted to go to America.
5:48My first ever trip was to the US Open to
5:51represent my country. It was in Colorado
5:53Springs in 1993. My first time I fell in
5:56love with America, but it became because
5:58I visualized that in my mind and that
6:00was my beginning. The The beginning of
6:03my fascination with the human mind that
6:04would later lead to me starting
6:06Mindvalley and writing this book. That's
6:08amazing. I I I love that story for so
6:10many reasons. A because
6:13Well, let me just break this down for
6:14everyone. You had an intention that was
6:16very clear. Even if it was to save your
6:18skin or to impress a girl or whatever it
6:20was, you were clear of why you wanted to
6:22meditate. The second thing was you were
6:24happy to read the book again and again
6:26and again.
6:27And I think that takes a lot of
6:29resilience because most of us when we
6:31try something once and it doesn't work,
6:32we give up. And the third thing is you
6:35didn't just test on something small.
6:37Once you saw a small result, you were
6:38like, "Well, does this apply to
6:39something bigger?" And I think those
6:41three lessons in and of themselves are
6:43so powerful. What has changed in the
6:46benefits to you of meditation today? At
6:48that time it was solving your skin, it
6:50was getting focused around the Taekwondo
6:52championships. How do you view
6:54meditation? Like what is its use in your
6:56life today? Because I feel like so many
6:59people keep telling us to meditate and
7:01there's so many benefits, but for you
7:02personally, what what's the reason? So,
7:04I grew up in a Hindu family in Malaysia.
7:07Meditation was never what I was taught.
7:09The style of Hinduism I was taught was
7:11very dogmatic. You had prayers, you had
7:14chants, you had mantras, and I found it
7:16oh God, so boring and irritating. I
7:19hated being dragged to temple to listen
7:21to a priest speak in Sanskrit, a
7:23language I didn't even understand. So,
7:25when I was 19, I gave up Hinduism. I
7:27decided the religion was not for me. I
7:30read a quote by Gandhi that said, "I'm a
7:32Hindu and I'm a Muslim and I'm a
7:34Christian and I'm a Jew and I'm a
7:35Buddhist." And I thought, "That's it. I
7:37want to study and unite ideas from all
7:40of these different spiritual practices."
7:42And so, that was my beginning. I got
7:44obsessed with spirituality. I started
7:47reading books by Esther Hicks, by Neale
7:49Donald Walsch, and I became particularly
7:52captivated by the spirituality that was
7:54emerging from the United States. From
7:56everyone from Paramahansa Yogananda, who
7:59was an Indian who crossed over over
8:00here, to Neale Donald Walsch, to
8:02especially José Silva. Now, a lot of
8:04them spoke about spirituality. What made
8:06José Silva's work different was that he
8:09broke it down into actionable steps. And
8:11that's what fascinated me most. So, a
8:15lot of people spoke about meditation,
8:16about sitting still, about going within.
8:18José Silva would teach the method.
8:20You're going to do this method to reduce
8:21your brain wave frequency to the alpha
8:23level. This method to get it down to the
8:25theta level. This method of positioning
8:27your eyes to activate alpha frequency in
8:29your brain. This method to reprogram
8:31your subconscious. This method to
8:33manifest a goal. This method to do
8:34healing. And that structured approach
8:37captivated me. Now, we call that active
8:39meditation. That's the word José Silva
8:41used. Osho used the same word, active
8:43meditation. This means it's different
8:45from passive meditation, which was more
8:48the meditation from Hinduism, from
8:50Eastern cultures, where you focus on
8:53your breath, or you go within. And
8:54there's a usefulness in that. But what I
8:56loved about active meditation is, in the
8:59words of José Silva, you use it to solve
9:02problems. You do not push your problems
9:04away. You turn your problems into a
9:06project. You have skin disease? You're
9:08going to heal it. You need to achieve a
9:10business goal? You're going to make it
9:11happen. And you would apply different
9:14tools to solve these problems. Now, when
9:16I was in Silicon Valley, I applied the
9:18Silva method, and it completely
9:20transformed my career. I was able to
9:22hold on two jobs. I got promotion after
9:24promotion after promotion. At the age of
9:2626, I was vice president of a booming
9:29dot-com. And I was meditating using the
9:31Silva method and other practices I would
9:34combine with it. And one day, I suddenly
9:36had a
9:38I realized that meditation was the most
9:39powerful thing I'd learned in life. It
9:41was the reason why I was successful at
9:43my career. Yet, my university degree,
9:46for which I paid almost a quarter
9:48million dollars for, taught me jack. It
9:53wasn't really helping me. So, I decided
9:55I wanted to do something that could help
9:57the world. I decided to quit and become
9:59a meditation teacher.
10:00Now, as I started becoming a meditation
10:02teacher, as I started compiling all of
10:03these methods, I needed something for
10:06myself. And I look at meditation from as
10:09a tool, okay? So, a lot of people say,
10:11all right, meditation is a form of of
10:12self-awareness, of prayer. Yes, yes,
10:15yes. But, meditation is also a tool. The
10:17point of meditation, in the words of the
10:19great teacher Emily Fletcher, is not to
10:21get good at meditation. It is to get
10:23good at life. And so, I use two
10:26different types of tools. Now, let's
10:28think about our home. We have coffee
10:29makers and we have electric drills. We
10:31use a coffee maker every single day, or
10:33a tea kettle every single day, to put
10:35ourselves in a good state to start our
10:37morning.
10:38An electric drill is a power tool. You
10:39don't use it every day. You use it when
10:41you have a problem, when you have to
10:42drill a hole in a wall, or threaten
10:44someone, I guess. So,
10:46in meditation, the style that I teach,
10:48there are two types. You would use a
10:50power tool like the Silva method, which
10:52now sits on Mindvalley, for a really
10:54tactical problem. For example, healing.
10:57Right? The Silva method has been proven
10:59by Dr. O. Carl Simonton as a very
11:01effective form of imagery therapy for
11:04accelerating healing. You're sick, you
11:06want to do it. If you are suddenly
11:07feeling like you have a migraine, you
11:10want to use it to help reduce your
11:11migraine. The Six Phase is what I
11:13developed as not the electric drill, but
11:17the coffee maker. Something you use
11:19every single day. Even if your life is
11:22amazing, you use it every single day
11:24because it helps put you in a peak state
11:27for work, for happiness, for human
11:29connection.
11:30And it puts you in this beautiful state
11:33where almost feels as if the universe
11:34has your back. Like you have, you know,
11:36the Tinkerbell fairy following you
11:38around blessing everything you do and
11:40making your life magical. This is how I
11:42view meditation. It's an active approach
11:46to tackle the most complex problems in
11:48life, but also as a daily approach to
11:51put you in peak states of humanness.
11:54This is why I love talking to you
11:56because I love that explanation and I
11:57think that that breakdown of how
12:00meditation can be used differently for
12:02different challenges is fantastic. And I
12:04love the analogy with the with the tea
12:06kettle we'll go with and and and the
12:08drill because
12:10I I do think you're right that we've
12:12made meditation what you just said is
12:15about becoming good at meditation, which
12:17is absolutely irrelevant to life. And
12:20with the six-phase method, what I love
12:22about it is that
12:24you have the same thing that you loved
12:26about how the Silva method taught you
12:28it. You figured out your own method that
12:31people can take. Now, in this book, when
12:33you talk about This is what I want to
12:35get into some of this and everyone who's
12:37watching and listening back at home or
12:39wherever you are, I'm only going to be
12:41giving you a tip of the iceberg, but I
12:43want to give you this insight because my
12:44hope and goal and intention is that you
12:46will go and order the book right now
12:48while we're having this conversation to
12:49really dive deep into it, but I want to
12:51give you just enough to recognize how
12:53practical it is. So,
12:55you talk about how we need to start with
12:57the circle of love and compassion.
13:00When I hear the word compassion, and I
13:02think when a lot of people do,
13:04compassion feels like a tall order
13:06because I feel like it's been removed. I
13:08think before compassion, we think of
13:11criticism, we think of complaining, we
13:14think of comparing. Like those are more
13:16natural thoughts. Can you talk to me
13:18about how you had this epiphany that
13:21compassion was a beginning when often
13:23our beginning place is criticism,
13:25complaining, or comparison? So,
13:27compassion is not something you do for
13:30other people.
13:31That's a great side effect. Compassion
13:33is something you do for yourself. It
13:35changes the way you function
13:38and show up in the world.
13:40So, there's a lot of science right now
13:42on compassion practices that derive from
13:44Zen Roshi Buddhism or even from the
13:46HeartMath Institute. For example, the
13:48HeartMath Institute found that if you
13:51just close your eyes and you see the
13:53face of someone you love, you see their
13:55eyes, you see their nose, you feel that
13:56love for them, you feel it in your heart
13:58area, it changes your heart resonance.
14:02And your heart resonance is a biomarker
14:04of health. In short, giving love to
14:08someone else instantly physiologically
14:11changes the
14:13heartbeat that you're having and puts it
14:15in a better state that shows that your
14:18body is in a healthy mode. Heart
14:20resonance correlates with health.
14:22And I found this fascinating. That is
14:24how we start the sixth phase. Then we
14:26move to a more advanced compassion
14:29practice where we extend love across the
14:32world. Not to We start with our family,
14:34our neighborhood, our city, our country,
14:37and then globally. Now, why is this
14:38important? Compassion is like a muscle.
14:40You can train it and when you train it,
14:42you become more loving. If you think
14:45about all the great saints and sages and
14:48mystic, compassion and love was a key
14:51part of who they are. Whether it's
14:53Yogananda or Jesus, it was compassion
14:56and love. But this is how it shows up in
14:59your world, right? So, I remember after
15:01the pandemic, I went for breakfast with
15:03a friend. All the restaurants had been
15:05closed for 3 months and finally, that
15:08weekend, everything opens. And so, we
15:10are waiting in line for around 20-40
15:11minutes to get in. Finally, we get in.
15:13It's really busy, so they can only seat
15:15us at the bar. And all I'm craving is
15:17coffee, eggs, and some and a side of
15:19avocado. So, I order my coffee and 20
15:22minutes later the waitress hasn't
15:24brought the coffee. The waitress is
15:25currying around. There's a lot of people
15:26over there. She's wearing a mask. And
15:28she left the coffee on the bar and I can
15:30see it. And it's 20 minutes. I can't get
15:32her attention. Finally, she brings me
15:34the coffee. Just puts it down. Doesn't
15:36even say anything. And it's gone cold.
15:38So, I have to order another coffee. That
15:40other coffee comes 10 minutes later.
15:42Then my omelet comes 40 minutes later.
15:44They forgot the avocado. And all of this
15:46chaos. Now, at the end of that as I was
15:48tipping the waitress, I still had a
15:50smile on my face. And I gave a tip worth
15:5350% of the entire bill. So, my friend
15:56looked at me and goes, "What are you
15:58doing? Like, the service here was
16:00horrible. She doesn't deserve 50%." And
16:03I said, "Really? Well, I thought she
16:05did." And I explained it to my friend. I
16:07said as I said, "Look, it's all how we
16:09see it. To me, I'm just happy to be
16:11here.
16:12To be able to eat outdoors again.
16:15It doesn't matter we had to wait 20
16:16minutes in line. It was just nice being
16:18able to step into a restaurant. After 3
16:20months, that waitress, she's been
16:22running around
16:23with a mask on herself for gosh, maybe
16:2612 hours. Look at the line. She's not
16:28even getting a break. And probably for
16:30the last 3 months, she didn't have a
16:32job. She was probably worried about how
16:33to put food on the table. And that's why
16:35I gave her a 50% tip. I don't care if my
16:38coffee was cold or my avocado came late.
16:41That didn't even register for me.
16:43Rather, I was in a state of
16:45appreciation, of love, of awe at the
16:48humanity around me, even if it was a
16:50little bit messy.
16:52Compassion had put me in that zone. When
16:55you see someone else, even if it seems
16:58like what they did is wrong to you, you
17:00look at them with a sense of empathy,
17:02with a sense of understanding. And it is
17:04that understanding that changes and
17:07reframes your definition of the world.
17:10So, I'm not saying do compassion so you
17:11become a better tipper. I'm saying do
17:13compassion because the world becomes a
17:16more beautiful, alive, connected place,
17:20and your life becomes more peaceful.
17:22Now, the side effect is everyone you
17:24come in contact with, you bring
17:25happiness into their lives, and the
17:27world needs that today. What I love
17:29about that example is that it shows
17:31something in a personal way that we all
17:33experience.
17:35And it's so fascinating because I've
17:37been experimenting with something
17:39similar in a professional setting. So, a
17:41lot of people would say, "Oh, yeah, you
17:43can do that with a you know, with a
17:44waiter or a waitress at a at a store,
17:46but then what about someone in your
17:48workplace?" And I realized that
17:51if you go
17:53hard on people, and people experience
17:55this I think we've all had experiences
17:57of it. We've all had bosses who are hard
17:59on us.
18:00And I found that when my bosses were
18:02hard with me
18:04it closed me off. It didn't open me up.
18:07Whereas if someone checked in with me
18:09and said, "Hey Jay, you look like you're
18:11struggling a bit. Is everything okay at
18:13home? Like, is your family okay? Like,
18:15is How How are things going? You don't
18:16have to tell me, but if you feel like
18:18telling me, let me know."
18:20That allowed me to have a safe space and
18:23want to deliver more for that person as
18:26opposed to if that person came up to me
18:27and goes
18:28"I'm not really happy with your
18:29performance right now." Like, hearing
18:31that from someone didn't open someone
18:33up. And so, even your same approach in a
18:36professional setting still works and
18:38applies. That when you approach someone
18:41or someone approaches you and just says,
18:42"Hey, I can tell that you're dealing
18:44with a few issues or or something must
18:46be going on. Do you feel like telling
18:47me?" I think that compassion is such a
18:49superpower, and it's so underestimated.
18:52Where did we lose that? Where did we go
18:53wrong?
18:54I I think we underestimated it because
18:56for the longest time in society, we
18:59thought kindness
19:00is associated with weakness. Strength,
19:03power, even to put power over someone
19:06else was a sign of strength. But today
19:08we know that's not true. There was a
19:09Gallup study done on two 10 million
19:11employees.
19:12and they found that the employees who
19:14loved their jobs more, who were most
19:16engaged, who were most productive were
19:18one of the highest correlations with
19:19revenue growth
19:21answered yes to the following question,
19:23my supervisor or someone at work cared
19:26about me as a person. Wow. And that's
19:28compassion. Now, I remember a funny
19:30story about you, Jay. So, I remember
19:32Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shows how
19:33compassionate you are. So, so may I want
19:35to share this with the audience. We were
19:37having dinner at Mindvalley's Festival
19:39A-Fest. This was that festival in Ibiza
19:41and you disappeared to use the restroom.
19:43Oh, yeah. And then we never saw you for
19:462 hours. So, imagine you're having
19:47dinner with someone. There are about six
19:48people in the dinner table and that
19:49person goes, I have to go use the
19:51restroom.
19:522 hours later, he hasn't come back and
19:54so you're thinking, gosh, what a jerk.
19:57If he was bought by my company, he
19:58should have just said, Vision, I'm going
19:59to go to sleep. He had to make that
20:01restroom excuse. And so, I was mildly
20:04annoyed by you and then I realized what
20:06happened. Jay went to use the restroom
20:08and as you were coming out of the
20:09restroom, one by one people were coming
20:12out to take photos with you or ask you
20:14for advice and you stood there for
20:16almost 2 hours
20:18talking to everyone, taking photos,
20:21giving them the advice they needed and
20:23then you were so tired, you went to
20:24sleep. That's compassion. And and see,
20:26you you may have done that almost just
20:28organically, but I'll never forget that
20:30and that put you at hero status in my
20:33mind. No, what I I I honestly have to
20:35say it's it's because you attract the
20:36best people. Like the the culture and
20:39community of the quality of individual
20:41that comes to Mindvalley events is
20:42really special and you know, I'm I know
20:45that I know so many A-Festers in my
20:47personal life as well, like Ervin, who's
20:49one of my closest friends, Ervin
20:51Valencia E
20:52and it's like he's been an A-Fest I
20:53think he's like I don't know how many
20:54A-Fests he's been to, maybe like nine or
20:56something. I don't know, he's been to a
20:57lot.
20:58think he's he's the health director for
20:59the New York Knicks.
21:00Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. He's the
21:02director of training and conditioning at
21:03the Knicks and it's just like he's the
21:05embodiment of everything we're talking
21:07about in a beautiful way and I think I
21:09did that because of the quality of the
21:10people you attract. But I appreciate you
21:11remembering these things. Obviously,
21:13meditation gives you a good memory, too.
21:14so I I I say that because compassion
21:17today, kindness is the ultimate flex. I
21:20remember 15 years ago when people wanted
21:22to sell you stuff on the internet, do
21:23this to make money, do this to build a
21:25business. They would pose with their
21:26Lamborghini or their car. Today, nobody
21:28gives a damn. Today, the stuff that we
21:30share on Instagram are very often
21:32inspirational stories, people doing kind
21:35acts, people saving animals, people
21:38doing great things for kids. Compassion
21:41is the flex in today's society. What is
21:43the
21:45difference between a technique
21:49and a pure intention in the sense of
21:52I I we know each other well and I know
21:54that you've meditated for God knows how
21:56many years now and I know how much study
21:58you've done and how many incredible
21:59people use this method like so many
22:01celebrities and athletes use this
22:02method. What have you found to be the
22:04difference between someone who uses
22:06compassion as a technique to get what
22:09they want or to present themselves a
22:11certain way versus what is the
22:13difference in result and practice in
22:16someone who's doing it from a pure
22:18place? I'm just fascinated by
22:19Absolutely. Okay, so the technique is
22:21not compassion. The technique is the
22:24circle of compassion, which is the
22:25specific exercise we do inspired by Zen
22:28Roshi Buddhism and the HeartMath
22:30Institute to expand and open your heart.
22:33Right? So that is the technique.
22:36The compassion itself is a quality of
22:38being. So the Six-Phase is six specific
22:41techniques that layer on top of each
22:43other that open up six different aspects
22:46of your being, which I believe are
22:48really important for you to show up in
22:50the world not just as a good human
22:51being, but to crush it at work, to hit
22:54your goals, to get things done, and to
22:56do it from this state of just absolute
22:58bliss and equanimity. The point is
23:00you're making is that you can't even use
23:03compassion
23:04for lower means or lower requirements
23:08because that's not compassion, yeah.
23:10kindness, right? You're doing something
23:12to get something. But the technique that
23:14we are doing actually trains your brain
23:17to understand how deeply connected you
23:19are.
23:20If you do this, you automatically become
23:22nicer. So yeah, you're talking about the
23:24actual change in your consciousness and
23:26like transforming your character as
23:29opposed to like what we're saying like
23:31I'm talking about marketing versus
23:32meaning. Like the idea of like oh, I can
23:35market this stuff versus this actually
23:36makes sense. There was one thing
23:37specific I wanted to ask you. You talked
23:39about happiness and gratitude.
23:41I wanted to ask you your take on after
23:44all these years, you've helped so many
23:46teachers share their work. You've helped
23:49so many like that's one of the most
23:50special things about you that I
23:52appreciate about you is that
23:54you're not just presenting what you
23:55know, you're supporting the work of so
23:57many other incredible people. And you've
23:59supported mine, too. You know, you've
24:00supported me, too in in such a deep and
24:02beautiful way and what I'm intrigued by
24:05though is out of all the reading you've
24:07done, all the studying you've done, what
24:09is happiness? Is happiness in your eyes
24:11still a goal? Is it a pursuit? Is it a
24:13byproduct? It what is happiness? Because
24:16I feel like we still don't know. We
24:18still hear people talking about I just
24:19want to be happy. Well, I'm a goal is to
24:21be happy.
24:23What's Vision's take on that?
24:25So, happiness is not the goal at all. In
24:27fact, happiness is not even what we care
24:29about. What we're looking at is
24:32a concept called blissipline.
24:35Blissipline is not being happy. It's not
24:38forcing yourself to be happy. Look, I am
24:41a person who can be prone to depression.
24:43It's actually in my DNA.
24:45Wow, I had no idea. Um you can measure
24:47these things now with DNA. And I've been
24:49in depression in my life. I'm also a
24:51person who is prone to melancholy.
24:53Melancholy is when I want to when it
24:56typically it happens when it's raining,
24:58I want to sit by the fire, listen to
25:01sad music,
25:03and just be by myself, and I like that.
25:06I'm not happy, and neither am I sad or
25:10depressed. I'm just melancholy, and it's
25:12a beautiful feeling, and we all feel
25:13that sometimes. If you've ever seen the
25:15Pixar movie Inside Out, it shows that
25:17sadness can be a superpower. You can be
25:20sad when you miss someone. You can be
25:21sad when you're grieving. There's a
25:23beautiful quote from the the Disney show
25:26WandaVision.
25:28What is grief but love persisting?
25:31The goal isn't to push away sadness.
25:33Rather, the goal is this is to remember
25:34this. When we are showing up
25:37with people, when we are showing up at
25:39work, the thing that matters is the
25:42concept of blissipline, and that is
25:44having the discipline to ensure that you
25:48are you are nurturing your positive
25:51emotions.
25:52Now, positive emotions doesn't mean
25:53you're fake happy. Positive emotions
25:55mean that even if you're sad, you you
25:57can observe it. Like, I love that quote,
26:00"What is grief but love persisting?"
26:02Because if you're grieving someone,
26:04that's a beautiful emotion.
26:06You can grieve someone who has left your
26:08life, but you're not beating yourself
26:10out of it. So, you're still in a way
26:11blissful. Now, why is this important?
26:13There's a study called PQ, and there's a
26:15book about it by Shirzad Chamine, and PQ
26:18means positivity quotient. It's your
26:20ratio of good thoughts versus overall
26:23thoughts. Now, what they find is that
26:26the higher your PQ, the better you
26:28function at your job, the better you
26:31function at your work. We spend 70% of
26:33our work of our waking hours on our
26:35work. And so, if we can practice
26:38blissipline and elevate our PQ, we get
26:41more done. We are happier as we work.
26:43The quality of our work is better. But,
26:46you know, the studies on PQ fascinate
26:47me. They found that the number one thing
26:49that determines how well a team
26:51functions is their PQ. Is what is the
26:54ratio of positive emotions within the
26:56team and between the members of this
26:57team. And so if we can train for
27:00blissipline, if we can put ourselves in
27:02these blissful states, we simply do
27:05better. Now one of the most beautiful
27:07things I read was in the book Titan.
27:10It's the biography of John D.
27:12Rockefeller. He was the richest man who
27:13ever lived. And at the age of 83, John
27:16D. Rockefeller wrote a beautiful poem
27:18that illustrates this idea of
27:20blissipline. He said, "I was early
27:23taught to work as well as play. My life
27:26has been one long happy holiday.
27:29Full of work, full of play.
27:31And I left the worry along the way. And
27:34God was good to me every day."
27:37And that's really what we're talking
27:38about. Now if the richest man in the
27:40world could pen that, imagine what this
27:43quality, what this essence can do for
27:45you. It's amazing, isn't it, how what we
27:47read or what we think about become the
27:49scripts of our life? And and I feel just
27:51as you were quoting people that have
27:52inspired you,
27:54I feel like for me half the thoughts in
27:55my head are thing I've things I've
27:57absorbed
27:58Right.
27:59and like held on to
28:01that then create my story and my script.
28:04I didn't know what you just said about
28:06you. That's actually such interesting
28:07news to me. I don't think we've ever
28:09spoken about that. I loved how you
28:10talked about how melancholy isn't
28:13happiness or isn't sadness, but you
28:15enjoy that feeling.
28:17I feel the same way about solitude of
28:18spending time alone. Like I often look
28:21forward to spending time alone. I try
28:22and make time to spend alone. I'll often
28:25choose being alone as opposed to doing
28:26something else. And that's not because
28:29I'm happy or ecstatic about it or I'm
28:31not sad about it. It just brings me joy.
28:34But what I didn't know about you was
28:35this bend you said towards depression or
28:38depressive thoughts and I want to go
28:39there.
28:40What has been
28:42the most depressing state that you've
28:44been in that the Six-Phase Meditation
28:46Method and other methods that you
28:48practice and even teach today have
28:50helped you out of what has been that
28:51point of Yeah.
28:52So So So first you got to understand
28:54phase one compassion, phase two
28:55gratitude, phase three forgiveness. All
28:57of these qualities have been
28:58scientifically proven to lower risk of
29:01depression and lower situations where
29:04you're feeling anxious or panic. But I
29:06have gone through depression in my life.
29:08I have gone moments where I was
29:09profoundly sad. That hasn't happened
29:11much in the past decade or so.
29:13Wow. And part of the reason is because
29:15of the six phase. But it doesn't mean
29:17that I don't get sad. All of us are
29:19going to go through troubles in life. I
29:20miss people. Yesterday I was sad because
29:22it was my son's birthday. He turned 15
29:25and I couldn't be with him cuz I was
29:26doing a big event in LA and my son lives
29:28in Estonia in Europe.
29:30And there's nothing wrong with being sad
29:32about that, right? Uh but through that
29:34sadness, I left him I think one of the
29:37most beautiful voicemails I've ever left
29:39my son about how much I love him. So you
29:42can channel sadness into love, into
29:45compassion, into
29:48into vulnerability and help you connect
29:50with yourself and other people. Yeah,
29:52how do you stop sadness
29:55from developing into guilt? Because I
29:57find that you could have easily gone the
29:58other way. You could have been like, all
29:59right, I'm sad that I'm not with my son
30:01on my birthday. I'm a terrible dad,
30:03which I know you're not, but I mean to
30:05you could say I'm a terrible dad and
30:06people do feel this way. I'm a terrible
30:08dad. I care more about my work by my
30:11actions than I do about my son. Someone
30:13could I'm saying could think of this
30:14story. They could think I should have
30:17flown back. I should have been there. So
30:18these are These are the things that I
30:19hear from parents all the time.
30:21Exactly, right? So this past This past
30:24four weeks I'm on a I'm on a four-week
30:25book tour right now. This is the longest
30:26I've been away from my kids.
30:28Wow. But the reason So I get that and
30:30I've never been traveled this much away
30:32from them because of that guilt. But I
30:34realized that was silly.
30:36I know that I'm deeply connected to my
30:38children. I've learned since then that
30:40it's not about being with them all the
30:43time, it's about when you're with them,
30:45how do you feel with them and how do you
30:46make them feel? Mhm. But how do I
30:48overcome that guilt? Well, that's where
30:50phase three comes in. Guilt is one of
30:52the lowest human emotions, guilt and
30:55shame. From a consciousness vibration
30:57point of view, if you look at the
30:57Hawkins scale, right at the bottom,
30:59guilt and shame. You don't want to get
31:01there.
31:02Phase three is about healing from guilt
31:05and shame. So, when you practice
31:06forgiveness, and in the sixth phase, we
31:07teach you a eight-step forgiveness
31:09protocol that you stick right in.
31:11You forgive yourself for mistakes you've
31:14made in the past. You forgive yourself
31:16for things that you may feel shameful
31:17for or guilty for. But you also learn to
31:20heal and forgive
31:22the acts of others.
31:24It turns out, if you want to develop the
31:26brainwave of a monk, so they've actually
31:28measured the brainwave states of monks,
31:30and you're a monk, so I bet you fall
31:32there as well.
31:33yeah, I used to be. So, monks have high
31:35left-right brain coherence. That means
31:37your left and right brain are kind of
31:38vibing at the same level, and high alpha
31:41amplitude. So, they found this in Zen
31:42Roshi monks who have spent 20 to 40
31:44years in meditation. So, at the
31:46BioCybernaut Institute in Vancouver,
31:47where they map the brainwave states of
31:49monks, they found that these were the
31:50two qualities that you want to create.
31:52But how do you get that? Well,
31:55forgiveness.
31:56Forgiveness and forgiving people who
31:58hurt you, as well as forgiving
32:00mistakes that you made in the past, is
32:02the number one hack to get you in that
32:04level. This is why forgiveness is phase
32:06three, cuz I've seen miracles happen
32:08through the practice of forgiveness.
32:10Forgiveness has been proven to not just
32:12improve back pain, increase your heart
32:14health, improve the quality of your
32:16sleep, reduce depression and
32:18anxiousness.
32:19A study showed that it improves your
32:20vertical jump. Another study in Israel
32:22showed that it improves your endurance.
32:24And
32:25for people who believe in manifesting,
32:27it's quite possible,
32:29cuz I've heard this from many spiritual
32:31teachers, it increases your rate of
32:33manifesting. That's why forgiveness is
32:35phase three. Because I practice
32:37forgiveness in a very rapid way every
32:39day,
32:40um so each phase takes about 2 minutes
32:42of practice, I don't experience guilt. I
32:44don't experience shame. It doesn't mean
32:45I've never made mistakes. I just don't
32:47beat myself up over it because you
32:49understand that we're all human. I love
32:51that principle and I'd say that that
32:53applies to marriage, that applies to
32:55work, it applies to ourselves. Like that
32:57idea, I always talk about how
32:59one of the things that's helped me and
33:01my wife massively in our marriage is
33:04that we're both wired to forgive
33:06overnight. Yes.
33:08And I I've never met many people I'm
33:09like that with 99% of people I meet.
33:11I've been like that for a long time, but
33:13my wife's like that, too, and that's
33:15really helped because then I don't wake
33:16up in the morning and look at her and
33:17go, "Oh god, she's still judging me for
33:19the mistake I made last night." We've
33:21both moved on.
33:22And so mirroring that habit is really
33:25powerful, but the the two ends of the
33:27spectrum are narcissism of like, you
33:29know, like letting go of all mistakes,
33:31which I know that's not what you're
33:33recommending. And then the other thing
33:34like you're saying is self-sabotage and
33:36beating yourself up forever. And you
33:38have these two polar opposites, and I
33:40think people get so scared that they
33:42they're doing one or the other that they
33:44kind of avoid it. What is the process to
33:46get to the forgiveness you're talking
33:48about where you can allow yourself to
33:49move on? So narcissism
33:52is self-love without love for others.
33:55That's why we start with compassion.
33:58When you start with compassion, you are
33:59training your love for others. When we
34:01come to gratitude and forgiveness,
34:04you're actually training your love for
34:06yourself. Mhm. In the gratitude phase,
34:08you don't just express gratitude for
34:10three things in your work or three
34:12things in your personal life. You
34:13express gratitude for what you love
34:15about yourself. And that's because why
34:17shouldn't we? The world doesn't tell us
34:19to love ourselves. Since we are kids,
34:21our education system, the people around
34:23us point out our flaws. Most people
34:26don't have a problem with self-love.
34:28They have a problem with self-pity,
34:29self-loathing, with not enough
34:31self-love. Now, when you come to the
34:33forgiveness stage, you further amplify
34:35your love for yourself, but remember
34:36you're doing these phases after you
34:38express love for everyone else.
34:41Compassion first, then gratitude, and
34:43forgiveness. And this is how you avoid
34:46narcissistic tendencies. I think it's
34:47become more and more challenging because
34:49I think the rise of
34:51narcissistic personalities and the
34:53challenge that people are experiencing
34:54in their relationships is just on such a
34:56high. I feel like it's one of the most
34:57talked about things right now.
34:59And I guess that also stems from that
35:02feeling of like we never got a chance to
35:04love each other. So, almost now we're
35:06going in that direction.
35:08With step four, a vision for the future.
35:11This step is
35:13for some people a hard step because the
35:15future is usually a place of anxiety,
35:17right? For most people, the future is a
35:19place of uncertainty, of anxiety.
35:21Obviously, you've done these three steps
35:22to remove anxiety, etc. That's why it's
35:25a perfect build-up. I've heard so many
35:27versions of what a good vision for the
35:28future is. Some people say you should
35:29know exactly what you want. Some people
35:31say you should have an overall vision.
35:33What is the six-phase version of a
35:35vision?
35:36when you finish phase three and you move
35:37to phase four, you're moving to a
35:39different essence of being. My last book
35:41was called The Buddha and the Badass.
35:43And that title came from an essay by the
35:46great philosopher Ken Wilber. And that
35:48essay was called ego-lessness. And it
35:51starts like this. The great spiritual
35:53sages and saints of the world from Moses
35:55to Jesus to Padmasambhava were not
35:57feeble-minded milquetoasts. They were
35:59movers and shakers who rattled the world
36:01with the force of their ego. From They
36:03instigated massive social revolutions
36:06that lasted generations. From bullwhips
36:08in the temple to subduing entire
36:10continents. Now, what Ken Wilber was
36:12saying is that the great spiritual
36:14teachers were not just focused on the
36:17now.
36:18They were focused on the future.
36:19Jesus wanted to build a legacy. Buddha
36:22preached because Buddha wanted to change
36:23the institutions of that time, the way
36:26the rich and the poor were
36:28Moses wanted to free his people.
36:30Muhammad wanted to conquer and spread
36:33Islam to the world. Paramahansa
36:34Yogananda came to America to spread the
36:37wisdom of India. All of these people had
36:40a vision for a future they wanted to
36:42create. And that's really important.
36:44Mother Teresa wanted to feed millions of
36:46people. So,
36:48if you really want to practice your
36:50spiritualness,
36:52you can't just be sitting on your
36:53meditation cushion. You got to have a
36:54vision for the future. That's what Face
36:56Forward is about. Now, to answer your
36:58question, how much should you be
36:59specific, how much should you be
37:01unspecific? Well, it depends on what
37:03you're manifesting.
37:05So, now we can get into a little bit
37:07deeper spiritual ideas. My friend Marie
37:09Diamond, who's a brilliant spiritual
37:12teacher from Belgium and someone I train
37:13with, Marie says that what we manifest
37:17in the world comes from three different
37:19parts of our being. There is our
37:21intention, which is what we desire, but
37:23that's only 1/3.
37:25Then there is our destiny,
37:27which is what our soul wants to
37:28experience.
37:30That's 1/3.
37:31And then the third piece is the energy
37:34of the world around us, our home. You
37:37know, the Chinese call this feng shui,
37:38the people, group consciousness, our
37:40culture, our society. It's all three of
37:43these. So, if you think of manifesting,
37:46you're a car going down a highway. Okay,
37:49that's your life.
37:50All of us have a destiny. And And a
37:52spiritual teacher explained this to me.
37:54He said, "Listen, you can't go for the
37:56exit ramp. You are on one highway. Your
37:59highway is to spread consciousness
38:00through education. You can't go on that
38:03exit ramp and go into a different
38:04direction. That's your highway. And I've
38:06noticed this about my life. Every
38:07adventure I've tried outside this zone
38:10of spreading wisdom and consciousness
38:13fails. It just becomes unnecessarily
38:15hard. If I stick on my highway, I go
38:17super fast. So, that highway is the
38:19destiny.
38:21Within that highway, you can change
38:22lanes. That's your intention.
38:24You can change lanes, you can go faster,
38:25you can go slower, you can go left, you
38:27can go right. And then, there's the
38:29quality of the traffic. Is it stuck? Is
38:32the traffic moving easily? Is the
38:33traffic congested? That's the group
38:35consciousness around you. So, that's
38:37just an analogy to understand this. So,
38:39when you're manifesting, all three of
38:40these pieces are coming together.
38:43Now, in the sixth phase, if you go
38:44deeper into the wisdom of how it's
38:46designed, the protocol is designed to
38:48take all three of these into account.
38:50But, in phase four, what you're doing is
38:52you're playing with intention. Uh
38:54intention, but also leaving things open
38:57for the universe to bring you. For
38:59example, if you want to meet your
39:00soulmate, you don't want to get super
39:02specific,
39:03because what if your soulmate is in a
39:05different age or a different body type
39:07than what you think you want? Michael
39:09Beckwith,
39:10the spiritual teacher, calls this mature
39:12versus immature wanting.
39:14Immature wanting is, "Oh, I want I I
39:17only want to be with someone who is tall
39:19and blonde and um uh blue-eyed."
39:23That's what maybe society or what you
39:25read in a magazine
39:27influenced you.
39:28Mature wanting is knowing that your
39:30soulmate may come to you in many
39:32different forms, and it's going to be an
39:33essence, an energy that's going to spark
39:35that love in you. Likewise, when it
39:37comes to a mission, a vision, sometimes
39:39we don't know what the universe has set
39:41forth for us. And so, when you are
39:43practicing phase four, the important
39:46thing that we ask people to keep in mind
39:48is to focus on the what and the why, but
39:51to park aside the how, the when, and the
39:54who.
39:55So, that's advice from Esther Hicks.
39:57Yeah. The what and the why. Don't worry
40:00about the when, when is it going to
40:02come? Who is going to bring me? Or who's
40:04going to be my soulmate? Or who's going
40:05to give me that job? And the how, how am
40:08I going to get that? How am I going to
40:09meet that person? Esther says all of
40:11that adds resistance to that which we
40:13seek to manifest. The what and the why
40:16add forward momentum. So, you focus on
40:20that. I love that. Yeah, I've I've
40:22always realized that you'll get to where
40:24you want in life, just not in the way
40:26you imagined it. And the problem is we
40:28have this projection and imagination of
40:31how the path should look.
40:33Right. Not why we want it or where we're
40:36going.
40:37Right. And and our paths change. We
40:38pierce different circles of purpose. You
40:41were once a monk and then you became a
40:43storyteller. And then now you have this
40:45incredible podcast and now you're
40:47launching a tea company. You've pierced
40:50different circles of purpose with your
40:53purpose to help the world getting bigger
40:55and bigger each time. And all of us are
40:57going to go through that. We are not one
40:59thing.
41:00Yeah, and I and I I love that idea
41:02because I think for me
41:05when we create and associate with
41:10identities early in our lives, it
41:13becomes harder and harder to shake them.
41:15So, I became a monk from age around 21,
41:1822 for 3 years.
41:20And that was a young time to create a
41:23very distinct specific identity.
41:27And shaking it off took a lot of effort
41:30to allow myself to keep the parts that
41:32were still me, but then to accept the
41:35new parts that were parts that maybe I
41:38had negated or neglected and and to
41:40re-become and to evolve took so much
41:44effort. And even now, like I find
41:45allowing yourself
41:48to become new things is probably one of
41:51the biggest challenges in the world
41:52because most of us are like, "Oh, I've
41:54always been an accountant. I've always
41:55been a lawyer. I've always been a
41:56doctor." And usually we just use our job
41:58titles to define it. And I was actually
42:00having this conversation with one of my
42:02team members earlier today. She was
42:03saying that before she worked with us,
42:05she'd never worked on a book or a book
42:07tour, you know, and we're working on
42:08Mind Right Now. And I was like, "That's
42:11what I love about it. Like, I don't care
42:13that you haven't done that. I'm I'm
42:14interested in how you think and how you
42:16approach problems and I'm intrigued by
42:18the fact that you don't know the rules
42:19of this industry. Like, that excites me.
42:21How can people find the courage and
42:24strength to become new things and not
42:27feel held back by old things? One of the
42:29most practiced most powerful practices
42:31I've found is the Lifebook protocol and
42:33we talk about it in the book. So,
42:35Lifebook um is a goal-setting protocol
42:38by Jon and Missy Butcher. In the spirit
42:40of openness, Mindvalley acquired the
42:42company uh the majority stake in the
42:44company. We're now merging it with
42:45Mindvalley because
42:46company. we wanted I I felt it's the
42:48best goal-setting system in the world
42:50and we wanted to integrate it with our
42:52education platform.
42:54Now, in Lifebook, one of the exercises
42:56you do is you look at your life from 12
42:58different buckets, right? Your emotional
43:01life is one bucket. Your financial life
43:03is one bucket. Your character is one
43:04bucket. And already, if you think about
43:06that, you find that most people tend to
43:08focus on just a few limiting buckets.
43:10They focus on
43:11goals for finance, goals for
43:13relationships, goals for work. But, are
43:15we setting goals for the emotions we
43:17want to experience on a day-to-day
43:18basis? Yeah. And emotional mastery, are
43:20we setting goals for the character, how
43:22we want to show up as a man or woman in
43:24the world? Lifebook makes you go deep.
43:26You really have to think about it. And
43:28at the end, you end up with a 100-page
43:29vision for your life. Now, within that
43:32100-page vision, there are going to be
43:33things which are going to be unclear.
43:35And that's when the magic happens. So, I
43:37remember when I was doing Lifebook in
43:392000 uh 10, there was a particular
43:42category of the 12 categories called
43:43quality of life. And this is really
43:45where you put down your lifestyle, your
43:47home. And so, I put down some really
43:50crazy things cuz they push you to dream
43:52big. I wasn't a speaker then I said, I
43:54want to be speaking on stages around the
43:55world. I want a vacation in five-star
43:57resorts around the world. I want
43:58inspiring friends. I want to go on trips
44:00with inspiring friends. I put down even
44:02some really like bold things. I want to
44:04win an Emmy or a Grammy or an Academy
44:06Award,
44:07whatever. Yeah. What happened is 10
44:10months after doing Lifebook, I suddenly
44:14had this weird impulse. It came from my
44:16soul. Back then I was running a a
44:18dot-com. I'd started a dot-com. I'd
44:20raised $2 million in venture capital
44:22money. It wasn't Mindvalley, it was more
44:24like an e-commerce play like a Groupon
44:26clone for Southeast Asia.
44:28And I was feeling so dissatisfied. I
44:30realized I'd been chasing an immature
44:32wanting. I'd been chasing all of that
44:34stuff I was reading about in tech
44:36publications and thinking I wanted to be
44:37one of those entrepreneurs, but it
44:39wasn't for me. And so I gave up my
44:41shares, I quit that dot-com. And then I
44:43needed to do something. This was 2010,
44:46and I thought, "I want to learn surfing.
44:48What if I could get 250 people to join
44:51me in a beach in Costa Rica,
44:53put on a little festival where we can
44:54all study surfing, maybe have some
44:56personal growth talks, and maybe really
44:58have some great bonding events at
44:59night?"
45:00That random idea became a festival
45:02called A-Fest, A F E S T.
45:05That first festival sold out. It blew
45:08up. And then it continued growing and
45:10growing and growing, and within 2 years,
45:11everything I put in my Lifebook came
45:13true. All of a sudden I was speaking on
45:14stage. All of a sudden I had all of
45:16these amazing people, Lisa Nichols, Chip
45:18Conley, all coming and speaking on stage
45:20with me. I had the inspiring friends.
45:22All of a sudden I was staying in these
45:24five-star resorts around the world.
45:25Hotels were giving me the presidential
45:27suite cuz I was bringing 250 people to
45:30the uh their property in Costa Rica and
45:32Mexico.
45:33And the craziest thing was this. I put
45:35down I wanted to win an Emmy. Well, Nick
45:36Nanton, a film producer, came to one of
45:38our A-Fest. He turned it into a
45:41documentary called Live Your Quest, and
45:43it won an Emmy.
45:45It won an Emmy. And I was the producer.
45:47And so all of these crazy goals came
45:49true. Nowhere did I put, "I want to
45:51invent a festival." Rather, I described
45:54the life I wanted to lead, the quality
45:56of life, and the idea came to me. And
46:00there's an important lesson here.
46:02Sometimes you don't want to put down the
46:04job. Your business, your job, your
46:07career is nothing more than a vehicle
46:10for your growth and the life that you
46:12want to lead. Mhm.
46:14Most people get more clear on the job. I
46:15want to be a lawyer. Then they do on how
46:18they want to grow and the quality of the
46:19life they want to lead.
46:20Yeah. Flip it around. You got to get
46:22really clear on the lifestyle. How many
46:24hours do you want to work? What do you
46:26want to do first thing in the morning?
46:27Who do you want to be with? How much
46:29time do you want to be able to spend
46:30with your kids? Who are your friends?
46:32Where do you want to live? Get clear on
46:34the quality of life.
46:36Get clear on
46:38the values you want to have.
46:40And the ideal job will follow. Yeah. And
46:44I think that that
46:46getting clear on the quality of life and
46:48then those steps that are there to make
46:51sure that you show that priority in a
46:53small way. Like I find that Don't you
46:55find that everything that happened in a
46:56big way in your life
46:58was because at one point it was a small
47:00priority. Like I worked at a big
47:03consulting firm.
47:04And I would use all my vacation that I
47:07got
47:08to spend time with my spiritual
47:09teachers. This is after I left the
47:11monastery. I would spend all of it. Like
47:13so I wouldn't take a vacation because I
47:14was like my priority is to still learn,
47:16to still grow, to still think like a
47:18monk at this point in my life even
47:20though I'm not a monk anymore because I
47:22was so scared of losing that deep
47:24important part of my life that I was
47:25like, all right, all the vacation I get,
47:27this is what I'm going to do with it.
47:28And now I'm so grateful that some of
47:31them will come live with me here. Some
47:32of them I'll get to travel to and but
47:34it's like because at that time it was
47:35hard to make that a priority. I had to
47:38sacrifice in one sense that this is what
47:40I was using my vacation for. So
47:43what I'm interested, Vishen, is
47:45what defines for you now a good
47:49meditation? What is a satisfying
47:51meditation? Because I think this is like
47:52a recurring challenge that all
47:54meditation and guided guides have is
47:56that people are like, well, did I do
47:58well? Like, did I do good?" Because we
47:59only know how to We don't We've
48:02forgotten how to experience. We only
48:03know how to evaluate. That's what I've
48:05realized. The human mind has diminished
48:08in its ability to experience and
48:10increased in its ability to evaluate.
48:12And our evaluation is, "This was either
48:14good or this was bad." Rather than,
48:17"This was my experience." So, how do you
48:20define what a satisfying positive
48:22meditation is today?
48:23So, I look at the six qualities of the
48:25six phase. And at the end of the day,
48:28did these qualities express themselves
48:30in my life? Was I kind and compassionate
48:32today? So, at the end of the night, you
48:33can you can basically, before going to
48:35sleep, you can ask yourself these six
48:36questions.
48:37Who did I help today?
48:39That relates to compassion. The second
48:41question is, "What was something that
48:44truly made me come alive, that made me
48:46happy today?" That relates to phase two,
48:48which is on gratitude. The third one is,
48:52"What have I
48:53come to learn?" And come to learn often
48:56relates to forgiveness. True forgiveness
48:58we often learn. "What is a new vision or
49:01a new desire that I saw today that I
49:02want to bring into my life?" That comes
49:04from phase four, which is vision for the
49:06future. Now, phase five is commanding
49:08your perfect day. So, what you may ask
49:10at phase five is, "What was my favorite
49:12part of today?" And then the final one,
49:15phase six is a blessing. This is almost
49:17like a prayer. And at the end of the
49:19day, you might you might ask, "Did I
49:20truly feel connected to God, to a higher
49:22power? Did I feel that the universe had
49:24my back today?"
49:26And if you ask yourself those six
49:27questions, you know you had a good
49:29six-phase meditation. So again, that's
49:31just the lens I use.
49:33Yeah, yeah. No, I like that and I think
49:34it's it's useful to have some sort of
49:37measuring stick because we all need to
49:39evaluate, but that's a healthy
49:41evaluation as opposed to I think just
49:43saying, "Was it good or bad?" Is like
49:45irrelevant. You went in a direction
49:47there which I was
49:49interested in.
49:50You're saying that the goal of
49:52meditation or the work that you've done,
49:53you've found that life is about growth
49:55and the experience and the quality of
49:56life that you want. I think a lot of
49:59people define their destiny quite early
50:01on in life. How do you test the
50:03parameters of your destiny? So, I think
50:06one of the things that I think is a
50:07useful tool is to understand the
50:09difference between means goals and end
50:10goals, right? Very often, your destiny,
50:14the stuff that you're meant to be doing,
50:16is something that you would do if you
50:18were not even getting paid for it.
50:20Very often, we we do the opposite.
50:23Think about the standard American
50:25system, right?
50:26So, you have people So, that one of the
50:28most common jobs that Americans go into
50:30is law is law. And I'm not dishing on
50:33lawyers. I'm just using this as a really
50:34interesting thing because I used to work
50:36in the legal industry. I used to do sell
50:38software to law firms 20-something years
50:41back. So, America's 5% of the world's
50:44population, 70% of the world's lawyers.
50:46Why? Well, maybe it was shows like LA
50:48Law Ally McBeal in the 1990s that
50:51glamorized law. And so, so many
50:52Americans go into crazy amounts of
50:55study, crazy amounts of debt to become a
50:57lawyer, to pass their LSATs, to join a
50:59good law firm. Then they're working
51:01crazy hours, but here's the thing.
51:03If you are a lawyer, you have a 50%
51:06statistical chance of suffering from
51:08clinical depression. Wow.
51:09It's crazy. So, this large number of
51:11Americans are going into a job that can
51:14make you depressed at an astonishing
51:16rate.
51:17But they do it, why? Because they are
51:19following the herd. This is a classic
51:21example of mimetic wanting. You're
51:23wanting what everybody else wants, not
51:26what could truly resonate with your
51:29soul.
51:30And so, the important thing is to really
51:33look at what would you do
51:35that even if you were not being paid,
51:38it's something that you would do anyway
51:39because it makes you come alive. Yeah.
51:41And often, that is the stepping stone to
51:44where your dream career could be. I was
51:47meditating
51:49and I was I wanted to teach meditation,
51:51but I wanted to teach it because I was
51:52teaching it to my friends, I was
51:53teaching it to my cousins because I was
51:55so excited about it. I remember a
51:57teacher telling me, "You're never going
51:58to make money with that. You need to be
52:00an engineer." And I tried becoming an
52:02engineer. I was miserable. But with
52:04meditation, I built a massive, massive,
52:06massive company. I wrote um hopefully my
52:09third New York Times best-seller because
52:11I was simply But I never did it for
52:13money. I was doing it because it brought
52:15me joy. And if you look at so many of
52:16the most successful people in the world,
52:18they took what they did that brought
52:20them joy
52:22and they turned it into an incredible
52:24career. And that would be my advice to
52:26people. Absolutely. Everyone, Vishen
52:29Lakhiani, the six-phase meditation
52:32method. Make sure you go and order your
52:34copy right now. The book breaks down how
52:36to practice each phase. I also want you
52:38to test it out and I want you to tag me
52:40and Vishen on Instagram, on TikTok, on
52:42Twitter, whatever platform you use. Tag
52:45us and tell us what you learned, what
52:46you took away. What were the practical
52:48things that you're going to try? What
52:49was something new about meditation that
52:51you haven't learned before? I love
52:53seeing the nuggets of wisdom and the
52:55insights that you take away from these
52:56episodes. Uh Vishen, I'm going to ask
52:58you if there's anything else that you
52:59want to share that
53:00Yes, yes. So So you can So you can So
53:02you can get the book on So you can get
53:03the book on Amazon, but if you get the
53:04book from mindvalley.com/the
53:07letter six, there's this crazy bonus
53:09that you're going to get.
53:10Oh, cool. Okay.
53:11even if you buy it from Amazon, you can
53:12get the bonus. Just go to
53:13mindvalley.com/the
53:14letter six. Mindvalley has a meditation
53:17app with 500 meditations,
53:18hypnotherapies, ambient sounds from all
53:21of these world-class teachers. You get
53:22500 of those completely free,
53:25downloadable on your iPhone or your
53:27Android phone when you get the book from
53:29mindvalley.com/the
53:30letter six. Uh and it's it's only for
53:32this month. Okay. Only for this month,
53:35so that's a great bonus. Vishen, thank
53:37you so much for that. That's amazing. I
53:39hope that everyone's going to go try and
53:41test them out. Again, please make sure
53:43you come back to On Purpose. I do want
53:46you to listen and read. I'm a big
53:47reader. I'm sure you can get the audio
53:49book as well. Vishen, you read the audio
53:50book? Yes, I did. I did. So, make sure
53:52you grab the audio book if you're more
53:54of a listener. And thank you for being
53:56here on purpose. I hope you go and
53:57follow Vishen, connect with all of his
53:59work, subscribe to Mindvalley if you
54:01don't already, and we'll see you very,
54:03very soon. Thank you, everyone. If you
54:05want even more videos just like this
54:07one, make sure you subscribe and click
54:09on the boxes over here. I'm also excited
54:12to let you know that you can now get my
54:14book Think Like a Monk from
54:16thinklikeamonkbook.com.
54:18Check below in the description to make
54:20sure you order today.

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