You Need to Change Your Mindset Immediately — Transcript

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1. 0:00If you can be in a bad mood for no
2. 0:01reason, then you might as well be in a
3. 0:02good mood for no reason, too. One of the
4. 0:05things that's been helpful for me is
5. 0:06just actually recognizing the math of
6. 0:08hard days. You think about you having
7. 0:09100 days, right? Let's just say that you
8. 0:11you know, last 100 days of your life.
9. 0:13Well, the top 10% of those days, you're
10. 0:16going to have 10 days that are smiley
11. 0:18face days. And then you might have, you
12. 0:20know, kind of the middle 80, that's
13. 0:21going to be kind of neutral days, right?
14. 0:23And then you're going to have your
15. 0:24bottom 10% days. Now, this is just
16. 0:27normal because of a standard
17. 0:29distribution of how days work. When I
18. 0:31think back on, you know, my day,
19. 0:32sometimes I'm like, you know, what?
20. 0:33Maybe today is just a bottom 10% day.
21. 0:35And if I didn't have this bottom 10%
22. 0:37day, then I wouldn't be able to
23. 0:38recognize the difference between these
24. 0:40days and the top 10% days. And so, in
25. 0:42order for me to want to have top 10%
26. 0:43days, I by definition must also have
27. 0:46bottom 10% days. I think the most
28. 0:48important skill that you can have is
29. 0:50being able to reframe reality. And I say
30. 0:54this because I had a very good friend of
31. 0:56mine this year say something to me, and
32. 0:58it was it was really powerful and it's
33. 1:00on top of mind since he said it. He
34. 1:01said, "You're Alex Hormozi. You can get
35. 1:03away with whatever you want as long as
36. 1:05you frame it right." And
37. 1:07I really thought a lot about that, and
38. 1:09I've I've brought that perspective to a
39. 1:12lot of the conversations, a lot of
40. 1:13difficult things I've had to go through
41. 1:14this year. It reminds me of a quote from
42. 1:15Victor Frankl, who wrote the book A
43. 1:16Man's Search for Meaning, which he wrote
44. 1:18while he was in the concentration cancer
45. 1:20in the Holocaust, and he survived or he
46. 1:21wrote about that time period. And one of
47. 1:23the things that he said is, "He who has
48. 1:25a why to live for can bear almost any
49. 1:28how." If you think about that, the why
50. 1:30is the reframe for dealing with the how.
51. 1:33How can I frame this this difficult
52. 1:36thing, this thing that I'm about to go
53. 1:37through with that I just went through?
54. 1:38How can I reframe that? In what world
55. 1:39would this be an amazing thing? In what
56. 1:41world where when I tell this story 40,
57. 1:4350 years from now, would I be like,
58. 1:44"This is a pivot point for me. I had to
59. 1:46have this origin story in order to get
60. 1:48to where I wanted to go, to become the
61. 1:49type person I wanted to be." These have
62. 1:51been some of the mental reframes that
63. 1:52I've used on some of the harder days
64. 1:53that I've had. So, this year I had a
65. 1:55gigantic bill come out of nowhere. So,
66. 1:58it was a a multi-eight-figure bill that
67. 2:00was required to get paid in 72 hours in
68. 2:03cash. I, you know, thankfully had that
69. 2:06available to me.
70. 2:08But, I had obviously different plans for
71. 2:10that money
72. 2:11>> [laughter]
73. 2:12>> than dealing with this gigantic bill
74. 2:13that I had to all of a sudden pay within
75. 2:1572 hours. Basically, the moment between
76. 2:17when I got the news to me paying it to
77. 2:19then kind of reflecting back cuz it
78. 2:21almost felt so fast or was like
79. 2:23I've got, you know, I've got all these
80. 2:24plans and then boom, this happens and
81. 2:26then 72 hours later it's like, "Wow,
82. 2:28okay. What am I going to do? What am I
83. 2:29going to do kind of moving forward from
84. 2:30this?"
85. 2:31And there's this great quote by Marcus
86. 2:33Aurelius, which is, "What are you so
87. 2:35afraid of losing when nothing in this
88. 2:37world belongs to you?"
89. 2:39I really thought a lot about that, which
90. 2:40is like
91. 2:41I can't take it with me in the end. And
92. 2:44so, being sad about losing something
93. 2:46that was never really mine anyways.
94. 2:47Like, I'm going to have to push all my
95. 2:48chips to the middle of the board when
96. 2:50when the game's over. I'm going to have
97. 2:52to cash my chips and somebody else, you
98. 2:53know, other people are going to
99. 2:53distribute my chips when I die. And so,
100. 2:55it's like, I'm really just a steward of
101. 2:56these chips. I'm just renting these
102. 2:58chips for a minute. To be upset and to
103. 3:00ruin the one thing that I'm only that is
104. 3:01that is finite, which is the present
105. 3:02moment, for something that actually
106. 3:04doesn't affect how I live. So, this is
107. 3:05the second piece. This is actually kind
108. 3:06of a utilitarian perspective. It really
109. 3:08helped me. By losing that money, I asked
110. 3:10myself, "What does this change about
111. 3:12what I do?
112. 3:13What does this change about my life?"
113. 3:16It doesn't change the food I eat. It
114. 3:17doesn't change where I live. It doesn't
115. 3:18change where I work. It doesn't change
116. 3:19what I do. It actually changes nothing.
117. 3:21All it changed was just like, in my mind
118. 3:24I had an expectation of the future that
119. 3:26changed. That was it.
120. 3:28And
121. 3:29I said, "Okay, because of this thing
122. 3:31that existed in my mind, I'm choosing to
123. 3:33punish myself for not having seen this
124. 3:36or not paying attention or whatever it
125. 3:38number of reasons I could blame myself
126. 3:40for." But, at the end of the day I was
127. 3:41like, "Okay, so you just get to pick how
128. 3:42long you want to beat yourself up for."
129. 3:43I was like, "Huh. Well, what am I so
130. 3:44afraid of losing if nothing
131. 3:47in this world belongs to me? Nothing
132. 3:48This wasn't mine to begin with."
133. 3:50And so, that really kind of helped me
134. 3:51quell that kind of negative thought
135. 3:53pattern pretty quickly. So, there's to
136. 3:55put a little comedic spin on this, Mark
137. 3:56Twain which has some of the best quotes
138. 3:57like ever, by the way. He said, "I've
139. 3:59lived through many terrible tragedies,
140. 4:02only some of them actually happened."
141. 4:04And so, it's like, you know, most of us
142. 4:05suffer almost exclusively in our minds.
143. 4:07I found it helpful when I'm in a bad
144. 4:10season, like I am right now. To be fair,
145. 4:12I don't try to like put big labels on
146. 4:13things, but I guess I'm just giving
147. 4:15myself a little bit of grace. But, to
148. 4:17just focus on having a good day. And so,
149. 4:19it's like, "Okay, even though this is a
150. 4:21bad season, I'm going to have a good day
151. 4:22in a bad season." It's kind of like a
152. 4:24bite-size victory. And if I start
153. 4:26stringing enough of those good days in a
154. 4:28row, I'm going to turn a bad season back
155. 4:30into a good season. And it makes it feel
156. 4:32a little less bad, cuz I feel like I'm
157. 4:33making progress. I heard this bit by
158. 4:35Bill Ackman who was like getting sued,
159. 4:37he was going through divorce, he just
160. 4:38lost $4 billion
161. 4:39in Pershing Square for his capital. So,
162. 4:41he was like, "Honestly, all of this
163. 4:42happened at the same time." And he
164. 4:44realized all these projects for these
165. 4:46big massive things, which is a lot of
166. 4:47kind of stuff I'm dealing with right
167. 4:48now, they're not like, "Okay, I had a
168. 4:49bad day." They're like things that just
169. 4:51lap they they last and they prolong,
170. 4:52right?
171. 4:53And he said, "You just got a little bit
172. 4:55done every day. That's it." He's like,
173. 4:57"You just got to make a little bit of
174. 4:57progress every day." And kind of like
175. 4:59compounding and investing, it's like you
176. 5:00don't really you don't see it in a in a
177. 5:02day or two or a week or two. It's like,
178. 5:03but you look at back at 30 days, you're
179. 5:04like, "All right, I moved the ball a
180. 5:06little bit." You look back at 90, you're
181. 5:07like, "All right, I made some progress."
182. 5:09And it's just like, if you have big
183. 5:11goals, you're also going to have equally
184. 5:13large
185. 5:14obstacles. And so, you can't assume that
186. 5:17oh, my big goals are going to take many
187. 5:18many years and that the obstacles that I
188. 5:19have to maneuver around or are going to
189. 5:21happen overnight. Sometimes obstacles
190. 5:23that you have to maneuver around might
191. 5:24take a year or multiple years to get
192. 5:26around. And so, you have to be able to
193. 5:27manage your head space and basically
194. 5:28keep your internal combustion engine
195. 5:30going during those harder times. And so,
196. 5:32it's kind of like a monkey swinging from
197. 5:34good good moment to good moment.
198. 5:36Cuz even going from bad season to good
199. 5:38day, you can even have bad day and good
200. 5:40moment.
201. 5:41So, I was trying to thought, "Okay,
202. 5:42today was a shitty day.
203. 5:44Fine.
204. 5:45What good moments did I have?" And by
205. 5:47focusing on the moments, when I look
206. 5:48back on my life, you forget most of your
207. 5:50life. Like if we're being real, like you
208. 5:52can't recall most of your life. Most
209. 5:54people can't even recall what they ate
210. 5:55like 3 days ago.
211. 5:57But you can have them moments. And so
212. 5:59the moments when I think about at the
213. 6:00end of my life looking backwards, those
214. 6:02are the only things I'm really going to
215. 6:03remember. I just want to make sure that
216. 6:04I take those down. Feels like a bad
217. 6:06season now, I can try and forget most of
218. 6:09the bad [laughter] stuff and just try
219. 6:10and remember the good moments. In
220. 6:11retrospect, I can have rose-colored
221. 6:14glasses when it comes to this this
222. 6:15season. Well, how do you have a good
223. 6:17day? And I think this is different for
224. 6:18everyone, but I'll tell you what my
225. 6:19little formula is for for having a good
226. 6:21day. Good day
227. 6:23formula.
228. 6:24For me, there's only three things.
229. 6:26Number one is eat with people I like.
230. 6:30Simple enough.
231. 6:31Number two,
232. 6:33lift with people I like.
233. 6:37And the third
234. 6:38is write something.
235. 6:40If I do those three things,
236. 6:43I had a pretty good day. Like I look
237. 6:44back and I'm like, I earned my shower
238. 6:45today. I feel good about this. Maybe for
239. 6:48you, your three things are going to be
240. 6:49entirely different. Now, I'll give you a
241. 6:50little wrinkle on something that's been
242. 6:52really valuable for me. Like absurdly
243. 6:54valuable. The thing that I noticed that
244. 6:56made these two things significantly
245. 6:57better, and really all three of these
246. 6:59things,
247. 7:00is not being in a rush. If I have to
248. 7:02lift and it's like I only have 60
249. 7:03minutes to lift, I don't like that. Some
250. 7:06people are fine with it. And some people
251. 7:07are like, well, this is how my life has
252. 7:08to be. That's fine. I have come to a
253. 7:10point in my life where I was like, I
254. 7:12have a lot of money.
255. 7:14And I have the ability to not work
256. 7:17anymore. And there are not a huge amount
257. 7:19of things that bring me big joy. If
258. 7:22these are the few things that bring me
259. 7:23joy, which is eating without a clock
260. 7:26with people I like, lifting without a
261. 7:28clock uh with people I like, and writing
262. 7:31something for as long as I feel like,
263. 7:33then I should organize my day so that I
264. 7:35don't have as like many many hard stops.
265. 7:38So that if I want to lift in the
266. 7:39morning, I don't have something at 9:00.
267. 7:41And if I do have something at 9:00, it's
268. 7:42something that's movable. Right? Like if
269. 7:44I have to, you know, make this video, it
270. 7:46could be at 9:00, but the team knows if
271. 7:48I show up at 9:30 or 9:45 cuz I lifted
272. 7:50longer, that's fine. It's all good. It
273. 7:52has taken my good day formula and made
274. 7:54it like my super good day formula. And
275. 7:57so sometimes it's like, what are the
276. 7:58tiny nuances that actually make
277. 8:00something different between good and
278. 8:01great? I thought about it like the days
279. 8:03that I had these three things happen,
280. 8:04and then I had better days that had
281. 8:06those three things happen. I was like,
282. 8:07what was the difference? And the
283. 8:07difference was that I didn't have to be
284. 8:09somewhere else.
285. 8:12And
286. 8:13in trying not to have a rush, it means I
287. 8:15have to give something else up. Then the
288. 8:17question is, is the thing that I'm
289. 8:18giving up worth having a better day? For
290. 8:20me, I was like, yes, I'm willing to give
291. 8:22up some money or some upside in order to
292. 8:25have consistently better days. And
293. 8:27that's a trade I'm willing to make at
294. 8:28this point in my career.