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You feel stuck because you refuse to let go of your old identity. — Transcript

by Kinzer Mind and Body · 3,697 words · 527 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:03I think a lot of times we're caught
0:05between two different perspectives and
0:07that is, you know, what do I do to
0:10secure a good future? What do I do to
0:13make sure that I'm safe in the long
0:16term? You know, in whatever aspect that
0:18might be. And also the fact of tomorrow
0:22is not promised. I should do everything
0:25I can to enjoy the moment. I should do
0:27everything I can to enjoy myself at
0:29every moment. And it can be hard to
0:32balance and sort of delegate our belief
0:36into two different directions. And I
0:37think it's pretty obvious what happens
0:40when you go too far in either direction,
0:41right? Everybody knows the person who is
0:45way, way, way too stuck in their
0:49comfort, is way too stuck to take any
0:52chances. And it's almost as if they
0:54cling to life so so so
0:58strongly that any, you know, remote sign
1:02of danger, any remote sign of risk, they
1:04completely avoid. Even though right
1:06around teetering that line is where a
1:08lot of the excitement and thrill of life
1:11really is. And then of course you can go
1:13too far with it. you know, maybe the
1:15adrenaline junkie or the person who
1:17really doesn't think about the future
1:19and doesn't really see any point in
1:21creating something sustainable for
1:23themselves in the long term. And we see
1:25two different aspects of kind of the
1:27same coin here, right? It's two
1:29different polarities of an unbalanced
1:32perspective towards life. And it's what
1:34happens when
1:36there's not enough introspection
1:39done to fully expose the flaws of
1:41whatever belief systems they have intact
1:43right now. And that's not to say that
1:45the belief system even when you do
1:47believe you're in the middle is not
1:49going to be without flaws. And it will
1:51be. And I think it's just a process of
1:53living and going about the years of our
1:55lives constantly becoming more free
1:58rather than trying to add degrees of
2:01freedom to our existence. if that makes
2:03sense, you know. So, why the title then?
2:06Why the sort of extreme and and almost
2:09abrasive title? And I think it's because
2:12we're afraid to let go of what once was
2:16because even if we embrace the unknown
2:19of the future,
2:21there's still the threat of us not being
2:23able to handle it. And weird enough, I
2:27do think that a lot of people in being
2:30stuck between these two perspectives
2:32sort of just allow the time to pass by.
2:35And dare I say that might be
2:38considerably worse than the both of
2:40those things, the both of those
2:42philosophies that I mentioned before.
2:44Because you know, if you're enjoying
2:45your life every day, every moment, of
2:47course, you can get lost in that, but
2:48you can say at least you're enjoying
2:50your life. If you're being
2:51ultra-conservative with your life,
2:53you're being ultra sort of safe and risk
2:56averse, then at least you could say
2:58you're, you know, probably planning for
3:00the future and you have something ahead
3:02of you. But if you're caught in this
3:03sort of stagnant middle ground, which I
3:05do think a lot of people are right now
3:07because of overthinking and a sort of
3:11tugofwar on the internet between what
3:13you should really do with your life,
3:15right? Everyone on the internet is
3:16either saying, you know, lock in, don't
3:19have any plans on the weekends, stay in
3:21your room, do whatever you can to
3:23accomplish your dreams, your goals,
3:25etc., etc. And I am a person who is, you
3:29know, always an advocate for going for
3:31your dreams, always going for your
3:32highest purpose. But can you get lost in
3:35that as well? Of course. You could
3:37literally lose yourself staying inside
3:39constantly becoming a hermit and working
3:42towards something that you truly believe
3:44in. Because at the end of the day the
3:46social aspects of life and when we
3:48balance the polarities of these
3:49different sort of philosophies they end
3:51up helping each other. Right? If you
3:54balance this sort of hard work, if you
3:58balance this sort of discipline and
3:59dedication to either your craft or
4:01whatever you're looking to accomplish in
4:03life, if you balance that with a very
4:06healthy amount of, you know, rest, a
4:09very healthy amount of socialization,
4:11you're going to find yourself much more
4:13recharged in whatever you're looking to
4:16accomplish. And the reason for this is
4:18is it's the age-old saying, right? Work
4:21smarter, not harder. And that statement
4:23doesn't mean don't work hard. It means
4:26that if you work two two sort of head
4:30down, not ever looking up, you're going
4:32to get caught maybe in the same patterns
4:34in the same loops and you might not be
4:36able to see alternate paths that might
4:38offer you something much grander than if
4:40you were to just keep your head down and
4:41sort of quote unquote grind the whole
4:43time. And now let's look at the other
4:45aspect of it, right? where you feel as
4:47though you are holding on to life
4:49greatly because of the other way because
4:51you don't want you don't feel as though
4:53you've experienced enough and I'm sure a
4:55lot of you guys can relate to this
4:57either because of overthinking fear or
4:59anxiety where you feel as though you
5:01know you feel an unjustice has almost
5:04been done to you because you haven't
5:06experienced enough of what life has to
5:07offer yet you haven't tasted the grapes
5:10you haven't tasted the wine and so
5:14there's nothing wrong with this there's
5:15nothing wrong with that conviction. And
5:17I actually think people in general
5:20probably need a bit more of that
5:22conviction to say I don't want to
5:24settle. You know, I don't want to, you
5:26know, be put in a boring position or in
5:30a position that I'm resentful and
5:31regretful of because I was never, you
5:35know,
5:36brave enough to go against my fear and
5:38anxiety.
5:40And I think that you are not wrong for
5:42having that conviction to want to
5:43experience more out of life. And I do
5:45not think that you are wrong in seeking
5:47experiences from which you could truly
5:50feel as though you have lived life to
5:52the most exciting degree. But how can we
5:54get lost in this as well? We can because
5:56we can become a slave to the pleasure of
5:59these experiences. We can become a
6:01prisoner to the enjoyment and being
6:04adverse to difficulties. And that's the
6:06complete opposite polarity of what I was
6:08just discussing before. You know, and
6:10this is an equally big problem. And this
6:12is why it's so important to have our own
6:15mindset that we've developed and curated
6:17through our own life experiences to have
6:19our own opinions. Because if we only
6:20listen to one person on the internet,
6:22we're going to get lost in one way. If
6:24we only listen to another person on the
6:25internet, we're going to get lost in
6:26another way. So it's always important to
6:29check in with yourself in an
6:30introspective way and ask okay logically
6:33how can I balance the two different
6:35assets or sorry the two different facets
6:37of life to make something from which I
6:40am happy about. Right? So I am pursuing
6:44my passion. I am pursuing my purpose and
6:46at the same time I am not holding on to
6:49life lasting another 100 200 years
6:52because it's not guaranteed. I know that
6:54it can end tomorrow. Will it? Probably
6:57not. But it can. And in this philosophy
7:01I do both. I both plan for the future
7:04and I enjoy the present. Because anyone
7:07who tells you that you can't do both is
7:10subscribed to their own limited belief
7:12systems. And that's a big thing here
7:14too. And it's the reason that we haven't
7:16fully mourned our old self. It's because
7:20our old self represents a certain level
7:22of comfort. You know, it's the same
7:25thing when you can't really let go of a
7:28teacher or maybe someone you really
7:30trusted on the internet or maybe even
7:33just someone you trusted in life and
7:34then they eventually break that trust
7:36and you can't let go because you you're
7:38still having trouble accepting the
7:40reality that they could have done
7:42something like that.
7:44In that same way, we are still trying to
7:48digest the fact that we have changed so
7:50much. We are still trying to digest the
7:53reality that who we are becoming now is
7:56the person that we were dreaming of.
8:00And so it's important now to see that
8:03the very many ways in which we hold on
8:06can be very very unconscious. You know,
8:09whether that's hoarding clothes or
8:12holding on to anything or any memory or
8:15any photos of the past, whatever it may
8:17be, we hold on very tightly to it
8:19because it represents a certain
8:20familiarity,
8:23but there's this quote from a movie, I
8:26forgot what it was. I think it was an
8:27Italian movie,
8:29um, where there's an older gentleman who
8:31says to this kid who has the opportunity
8:33to pursue something that he, you know,
8:34he really loves and a dream that he
8:36really wants to accomplish. And you can
8:37see that the older man has a lot of
8:39regret about his life. He and he almost
8:41holds a lot of anger because he never
8:43fully accomplished or even went for
8:45whatever he dreamed of. And so he tells
8:48the young kid who's about to go off or
8:50maybe he's debating going off and
8:52pursuing his dream somewhere else in
8:54another country. He says to the kid, "Go
8:58run fast. Go towards your dream. Forget
9:01about this old town. Never look back."
9:04And I think, you know, obviously it's a
9:06bit radical, but it's very powerful
9:09because we'd rather look back in
9:11nostalgia. We would rather look back
9:13missing the past than living our lives
9:16with resentment and anger.
9:19And that's the difference is that the
9:22breaking of your heart when you think
9:24about the past, when you think about
9:25your childhood, when you think about all
9:27the people you no longer see, all the
9:29places you you'll never go again, all
9:30the foods and whatever else you'll never
9:32try in that exact way.
9:35Does it hurt any less whether we cling
9:38to it or whether we actually let it go?
9:41And the answer is no. And I wrote this
9:43exact line in my book in which I said,
9:45"Does loving someone while they are
9:48still here
9:50make the hurting of them being gone hurt
9:52any less?" And I don't think it does.
9:55You know, it'll be a different type of
9:57pain if we didn't fully embrace them
10:00when they were here. And in the same
10:01way, if we didn't fully embrace our
10:03life, if we didn't fully experience what
10:05we were capable of, if we didn't really
10:07give it a good go, then we're going to
10:09feel a different type of pain. We're
10:11going to feel an almost anger and
10:12resentment. We're going to feel a fiery
10:15pain instead of a very sad and deep
10:19grieving pain. And that's the
10:21difference. And that's the choice you
10:22have to make. And I think though
10:23difficult, most of us would rather
10:25grieve an old version of ourselves
10:27looking back saying, you know, I can't
10:30believe that I used to be that person. I
10:32feel as though I'm a different person
10:34now. And that's kind of sad in a way. We
10:37would rather feel like that than look in
10:40the mirror and curse ourselves because
10:43we never really tried. We never fully
10:47experienced life. We were always
10:49clinging on to safety. We were always
10:51clinging on to the assurance that there
10:54would be more time for us to do whatever
10:56we dreamed of, for us to do whatever we
10:58planned in the future. And it's so
11:01important that we create the distinction
11:03that our old self is gone. Right? Even
11:06when we look in the mirror, the old self
11:09is gone. The new self is here. And if
11:11you feel trapped, if you feel a little
11:13bit stuck, it might be because you
11:17haven't fully accepted the fact that the
11:19old you is gone. Or maybe to an even
11:22greater degree, you haven't even begun.
11:26You haven't even put out the willingness
11:29for that old self to be sort of evolved
11:32from.
11:34So what do we do? What do we do now? And
11:38the answer in an anti-climatic fashion
11:43is we live our life, you know, we we
11:47smooth over the overthinking. We
11:49overcome the fear. We overcome the
11:50anxiety and we do a lot of the things
11:52that I talk about on this channel. But a
11:54lot of the things I talk about on this
11:55channel is with the assistance of living
11:58our life. If you enjoy your life, if you
12:01are okay with how things are, if you are
12:04satisfied, you have struck gold. But it
12:08is almost the human condition for there
12:10always to be something, right? There's
12:13always something. There's always
12:14something wrong. There's always
12:16something around the other end. There's
12:17always an event we're not looking
12:18forward to. There's always something we
12:19don't want to do. And that's the human
12:21condition. And that's fine. But the
12:24outside world is always going to have
12:26that condition. But if we can somehow,
12:29not somehow, some way in which we will
12:32in overcoming those conditions within
12:34ourselves, overcoming those difficulties
12:36within ourselves, then I think that we
12:38can truly feel freedom. We could truly
12:40be free. And I do think a lot of people
12:43come to this conclusion and come to this
12:45state of being at the end of their
12:46lives. I think it's actually
12:48significantly less rare than a lot of
12:50people make it out to be because if you
12:52have a conversation with an older
12:54person,
12:55from what I've seen, there are usually
12:58two, I guess, mindsets in in the body of
13:05a person who has lived a lot of life.
13:07And I must preface that someone who is
13:10still you know thinking clearly and
13:12someone who is still of a sort of
13:15regulated state of mind and that is
13:17number one which is the negative there's
13:20a lot of anger and there's a lot of
13:21regret right there's a lot of sorrow
13:24because they never truly gave it their
13:28all and this is something I know we
13:32always talk about overcoming fear
13:36this is something I within myself as an
13:39opinion truly hold as a fear. Not as in
13:42something I avoid, not as in something
13:43I'm scared of, but I would rather go the
13:45full mile. I would rather bet on myself.
13:48I would rather chase that excitement. I
13:50would rather seek out my dreams to the
13:52fullest fullest extent than to live with
13:55regret and anger because I know that
13:58price is way too high to pay. And I
14:01don't know if I'm coming back here. We
14:03don't know if we're coming back to this
14:04earth. Probably not. Maybe not. I don't
14:06know, but it would be safe to assume
14:09that this is our only life. That's the
14:11safe bet. And it's precious and it
14:14passes by quick. And I'm sure many of
14:16you who are listening to this know that
14:18as you grow older, time seems to fly by
14:21in a much quicker way than it did when
14:23we were kids. And that's because
14:27well I don't know why but I do know that
14:29to make do with that the emotional sort
14:33of experience of life also grows much
14:35deeper because we do feel as though time
14:37is passing right by us. And it's either
14:39we are making the conscious choices in
14:41what we are going to do with our life.
14:43It is either we we are making the
14:45conscious choice in how we are going to
14:46experience life or we are allowing life
14:50to pass by us.
14:52And my only hope in making a lot of the
14:54videos that I make and especially in
14:55this video is that you see that you do
14:59have a choice in as as limiting as it
15:04feels, as limiting as the people's
15:06opinions around you, as limiting as even
15:09your brain and your fearful thoughts
15:11tell you that you cannot do something.
15:13know that the backdrop of who you are,
15:16the awareness of those thoughts, the
15:18awareness of those emotions, those
15:20awareness
15:22of your environment,
15:24the core of who you are can always
15:26choose different. And this brings me to
15:29my sort of point from before where the
15:32second sort of mindset that we see in a
15:36person who has lived a lot of life is
15:39one of satisfaction, one of peace, one
15:42that has accepted that it will end soon
15:45and that they have done themselves and
15:47their life true justice.
15:50They have done themselves and their life
15:52true justice.
15:55And it is this kind of peace that I
15:56think we we want to strive from. Maybe
15:59there will always be that sensation or
16:02that part of us that will think that
16:03there was more we could have done that
16:04there was more to do. But
16:08in the attempt to living life to the
16:10fullest, that part of ourselves does not
16:13go null and void. But of course, you can
16:16get caught in that trap as well.
16:19So in the eyes of a person who has lived
16:22a long time on this earth
16:24in their calm voice in their gentle
16:27appreciation of the little things I do
16:30think there's a very very important
16:31lesson and that is there is a natural
16:33progression of I guess experience in
16:37life from which if we do follow our
16:39highest excitement if we do always go
16:42after what we're passionate about if we
16:44are always seeking to experience things
16:46if we're always seeking to overcome fear
16:48anxiety, negativity, anything like that,
16:52we in a way have done our job, right?
16:57Because the only job there is to do is
16:59to live your life fully and truly. That
17:02is the only thing you came here to do or
17:04I say you came, but that's the only
17:06thing you're here to do is to just live
17:08your life is to just be you. And what
17:11you do with that,
17:13that is the openness. That is the life.
17:18And the thing is people get confused
17:20because they associate
17:22just living with the latter comment that
17:26I said with the opportunity with the
17:28open space with your expression. But
17:31just letting life unfold is not enough.
17:34Just accepting your fears for what they
17:35are is not enough. Just accepting the
17:37contract that anxiety throws you on the
17:39table is not enough. You do have to go
17:42beyond
17:43to truly
17:46put your old self to rest. To truly do
17:49justice to your life, you cannot let
17:52things just be as they are. You have to
17:55make the first move in life always. You
17:59have to choose what to do in life. You
18:01have to choose what to say. You have to
18:03choose what to experience
18:05because if not, the punishment doesn't
18:08come from the outside. It comes from
18:09within. And it's a deep and sour feeling
18:12that we cannot let
18:15we cannot let happen. I was looking for
18:18a better way to say it, but we can't let
18:21that happen.
18:24And so I'll leave you with one little
18:27tangent. Actually, I don't even think I
18:28stopped this video once. Somehow I just
18:30kept going the whole time. But I'll
18:32leave you with one small thing and that
18:35is less pressure on the philosophy,
18:39right? Less pressure on, oh, I need to
18:41do this day after day after day after
18:43day. I need to, you know, have this
18:45happen this week and then this month and
18:47I need to save for this this or or even
18:49on the other end of the spectrum, I need
18:51to experience everything right now at
18:53this moment. a little bit less pressure
18:55on the philosophy and a little bit more
18:59pressure on living with presence on
19:02actually being engaged in life. The
19:04person who you are talking to, what do
19:06they actually have to say? Maybe they
19:08have something quite interesting to say.
19:10The place you are going, maybe it's
19:12actually quite opportunistic.
19:14Maybe there is something interesting
19:16here. If you just keep your head above
19:18water just a bit, just open your eyes,
19:21just look around, engage in
19:22conversations, engage in life, you will
19:25see
19:27that the greatest hurdle was only ever
19:30ourselves. And to put our old self to
19:32rest, we have to make do with the fact
19:35that we are now a new version of
19:36ourselves. This new version of
19:38ourselves, sorry, this new version of
19:40oursel is present. This new version of
19:43oursel is aligned. This new version of
19:45our of our self does believe in
19:48themselves, does have self-confidence,
19:49is self assured.
19:52And to fully mourn your old self, you
19:55wake up tomorrow and you decide that
19:57everything has just Sorry. You wake up
20:00tomorrow. Damn, that would have been a
20:01really good motivating moment. But I'm
20:02not doing an edit. I'm not doing edits
20:04on this video because I've been going
20:05the whole time. The last line of this
20:07podcast is,
20:09you wake up tomorrow morning and you
20:12decide that the sleep you just woke up
20:15from was the most important sleep of
20:17your life and everything has just
20:19changed.
20:22That's it for today's episode, guys. I
20:23hope you guys enjoyed it. Um, I'm going
20:25to leave a link in the description to my
20:27book if you want to check that out.
20:28Spanish translation coming soon. I know
20:31that's really interesting. I'm sure many
20:32of you guys are not Spanish speakers,
20:35but if you are or you know someone who
20:37who is and you enjoyed the book and you
20:39know whatever else, but yeah, that's
20:40coming soon. Um, if you are watching on
20:43YouTube, make sure to like and
20:44subscribe. If you're listening on
20:45Spotify, thank you as always and other
20:48than that, I appreciate you guys as
20:50always. Peace.

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