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You Can't Always Guide Your Loved Ones - Nouman Ali Khan — Transcript

by Nouman Ali Khan - Official - Bayyinah · 4,121 words · 590 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Sometimes you have people close to you
0:02like your own family and they don't want
0:05to make
0:06TBA. They don't want to come to Allah.
0:09They don't want to listen. In fact, the
0:10more you tell them, the more farther
0:12away they get.
0:14[Music]
0:41foreign
0:43[Music]
0:56[Music]
0:59Alhamdulillah
1:02everyone. And I'd like to start by
1:05apologizing to those who don't
1:06understand what I'm saying even though
1:07you don't understand my
1:11apology. Um but inshall it'll get
1:15translated eventually. What I wanted to
1:17share with you in these brief few
1:19minutes is something very powerful in
1:21the Quran. Um, when it comes to the way
1:23that Allah tells stories in the Quran,
1:27um, the message of the Quran has been
1:30explained by Allah in different media.
1:33So every every style of the Quran is
1:36media by itself. So the way Allah takes
1:38an oath in the Quran is one kind of
1:40medium and the way Allah tells stories
1:42in the Quran is another kind of medium
1:44and the way the way Allah talks about
1:46nature in the Quran is another kind of
1:48medium. So each one of them is a
1:50different medium by which a message is
1:52delivered. If anybody's involved in
1:54media studies, they know that the medium
1:56is the message. In other words, the way
1:57in which you communicate is as as
2:00important as the message itself. So if
2:03you hear something on the news, for
2:04example, the way that the speaker or the
2:07news anchor, the way they organize their
2:09words and the way they structure the
2:12story that happened can impact the way
2:14you think about the story. and it will
2:16be the same exact event. Another
2:18reporter is using different language and
2:20your conclusion is completely different
2:22because of the way you told the message.
2:25So we pay close attention not just to
2:27what Allah is saying but also how Allah
2:30is saying it. The medium that Allah is
2:32using. And one of those most powerful
2:34media is actually uh the use of stories
2:37in the Quran. Now the purpose of this
2:41brief reminder with you today is to talk
2:43about the chronology the earliest
2:46stories in the Quran. Of course the
2:48first story is the story of Adam and the
2:51second story if you go in historical
2:53order the second story is the two sons
2:55of
2:56Adam and that's mentioned
2:59in the third story historically is oram.
3:04So Adam, the two sons of Adam and then
3:07Alisam. And we're going to look at it
3:09from a a certain
3:11angle. Allah describes in the story of
3:13Adam. What happens when you make a
3:16mistake because makes you
3:18slip. Adam Alisam and our mother slip
3:21and then they makea and they make aar
3:24and Allah forgives them and life moves
3:25on.
3:27a mistake happened and human beings can
3:30sometimes slip because of the whisper of
3:32shaitan and they can make a mistake they
3:35normally would not make sometimes it's a
3:37it's a mistake you cannot believe you
3:39made such a silly mistake Adam was in
3:42Jenna everything is in Jenna is
3:44available only one tree only one tree is
3:48haram and some and you have all the time
3:50in the world sometimes people make a
3:52mistake because they're in a rush
3:54sometimes people make a mistake because
3:55there's a lack of resources resources. I
3:57stole because I have no money or I took
4:00a loan because I was desperate or I had
4:02to do this because I was running out of
4:04time. In Jenna, you don't run out of
4:06time. In Jenna, you don't run out of
4:08resources. There's no there's no excuse
4:11that we have the excuses we have in this
4:13life, none of them exist. But still,
4:15Shaitan can make someone slip. Even
4:17then, when even when there's no excuse,
4:19it can make you slip. Of course, human
4:21beings like to hide behind excuses and
4:23say, you
4:25know, like Allah says, human beings know
4:27what they're doing even though they make
4:29excuses. But Allah is telling us in that
4:31story that sometimes you make a mistake
4:33and you have no
4:35excuse. You just slipped. Shatan made
4:38you slip and then you can make aar and
4:41everything will be okay. You can you can
4:42move on and you're still, you know,
4:44Allah will still guide you. Allah will
4:45still forgive you. Like Allah says Allah
4:48accepted his TBA right but that's one
4:51situation then you have two more stories
4:54I told you the sons of Adam the sons of
4:56Adam the two sons of Adam and Nisam and
5:00if you focus on the sons of Adamisam and
5:03the son of
5:04Nisam they both have something in common
5:07in both of them there's the criminal is
5:09the sons in both of them and what's
5:12interesting in both of them is the sons
5:14don't make
5:15tabba so So the son of Nairam does not
5:17make Toba and eventually he ends up
5:19drowning. Even though New Alam was
5:22begging him to come on the ark, come on
5:23the boat, he didn't want to listen and
5:25he drowned. That's a famous one. We
5:26understand that one. What I'm going to
5:28highlight is the difference between
5:30these two and and focus in on the story
5:31of the two sons of Adam. For a few
5:34minutes, the first thing I want you to
5:36understand is that these each of these
5:39stories is giving us principles. So
5:41what's the principle in the story of
5:44NIA? The principle is sometimes you have
5:47people close to you like your own family
5:51and they don't want to make
5:52tba they don't want to come to Allah
5:55they don't want to listen in fact the
5:57more you tell them the more farther away
5:59they get and if you think about the son
6:01ofam for all those years when nam was
6:05telling him about Allah about the
6:07punishment of Allah about the fear of
6:09Allah about yeah you these are just
6:11stories I don't want to hear it I don't
6:13want to hear it when he was building the
6:15boat, everybody's
6:17laughing. But when the rain started
6:19coming and the floods started happening
6:21and the boat is rising and people are
6:23drowning and the sun is left alone and
6:26he's up in the Quran calls him, some far
6:28away place. He's trying to climb up on
6:30some rocks. Now it's no longer a story.
6:33This is
6:34real. Now believing in makes sense. Now
6:38it's logical, right? It's not im this is
6:42this is a sh now you can see it look
6:44even when he was
6:46drowning when he was he said okay okay
6:49okay
6:52okay I believe in the same god of the
6:54Israelites I'm ready I'm ready to I'm
6:57ready for my shahada now when he was
6:58about to drown but the son ofam is about
7:02to drown and the boat is right there the
7:05boat is right there and the the and his
7:08father Nam tells him
7:10Come, come on, just join with
7:12us. Don't be from those who are
7:14disbelievers. He didn't say don't be a
7:17disbeliever. Don't join them. Like was
7:21still hopeful that he's still maybe he
7:22has some im in him hopefully something.
7:26And he said, "No, no,
7:28no. I'll go to some mountain. It'll
7:31it'll protect me from the water. I'll be
7:34safe." Even when it was the most logical
7:36thing to believe, even then he didn't
7:38believe. Why? Why? Somebody could say,
7:41"I only believe in science." Well, a
7:43flood is pretty
7:45scientific. Right? At that point, the
7:48scientific thing to do is get on the
7:50boat. But he doesn't believe because
7:52Allah is teaching us sometimes people
7:54disbelieve not because it doesn't make
7:57sense. People don't believe because they
7:59are being stubborn against
8:01you. I don't want to listen to my dad. I
8:04don't care if he's right. I'm not going
8:06to give him the win. I don't let my
8:09father win. My My mother hates my dad,
8:12so I hate my dad, too. So, I'm not
8:15Doesn't matter if he's calling me the I
8:16would rather go up. I'll find some
8:18mountain. I don't care about you. And
8:20you will find people maybe in your life
8:24that don't want to hear anything you
8:25have to say, even when it makes sense.
8:28Only because it's from you. If somebody
8:31else called him to the boat, I can
8:32guarantee you he would swim over and get
8:34on the boat. If his mother was calling
8:36him on the boat who was at Gaffira,
8:38there were some other other people on
8:40some other boat, they said, "Come here."
8:41He would go there. But when his father
8:43calls him, "No, no, no. I don't want to
8:45hear it from my dad." So it might be
8:47that even in your own family, people
8:49that are close to you might be people
8:51that just don't want to hear what you
8:53have to say, even if it destroys them.
8:56Even if it destroys them. And then you
8:58say, "What should I do? Should I bring
8:59him to the sheh? Maybe he can do some on
9:02this person. Read some Quran and blow
9:04some and they'll become better. Can you
9:07tell me I imam, could you tell me a
9:08special dua to fix my son, to fix my
9:11brother? Can you spell tell me some
9:12special I can do to help? If if there
9:15was a special I can guarantee you new
9:18would know it. before you know it, he
9:20would know it. Cuz I'm pretty sure 950
9:24years is a long time to make vikar and
9:26every possible vikar was done. Allah is
9:29teaching us a reality of this life. And
9:31in this life, there are some people who
9:34are just not going to change. They have
9:37made up their mind. But there's a
9:39difference. When he made up his mind,
9:41he's not trying to hurt noam. Who does
9:44he hurt in the
9:45end? Himself.
9:48Now we come back to the story of the two
9:50sons of Adam and Allah gives us a very
9:54brief account of them. He tells us, tell
9:56them the
9:57story. Tell them the story of the two
9:59sons of
10:00Adam. When they both made a sacrifice,
10:03when they both made an offering in the
10:05early times, the way to show Allah that
10:08you are close to the one of the first
10:11forms of ibada was sacrificing
10:13something. Sacrificing something. And
10:16then Allah would let you know even in
10:18the beginning if your sacrifice is
10:20accepted or not accepted. Now this is a
10:23rahma of Allah that he took that away.
10:25Now we don't have any knowledge. If you
10:27fasted at the end of your s if afterar
10:30Allah does not give you information your
10:32fast was good your fast was no good. You
10:33don't get that information. Once you do
10:35hajj and you sacrificed the animal at
10:38the end of hajj nobody knows whose hajj
10:40was accepted whose hajj was not
10:42accepted. Alhamdulillah if we knew that
10:44would be a big problem. People would ask
10:45for their refund all kinds of
10:47issues right.
10:51So they they blame the maleim or you
10:54know the microphone says I don't know
10:55what but in the beginning Allah did let
10:59the people like the sons of Adam know if
11:01you made a sacrifice for the sake of
11:02Allah I accept this one and I don't
11:04accept this one Allah will let them know
11:07okay so the two of them Allah the Quran
11:09describes and they both made a
11:14sacrifice one of them it was
11:17accepted and from the other one it was
11:19not accepted.
11:21and pretty straightforward. Sometimes we
11:23our intention is not good. Or sometimes
11:27we are he's doing maybe one of them is
11:29slaughtering a goat and he's like, "Oh
11:30yeah, you want to slaughter a goat? I'm
11:31going to slaughter a
11:33cow. I could do better than you. Or
11:36you're going to do it at fudger time.
11:37I'll do it at the hud time. I'll beat
11:40you. I'm better than you. Everybody
11:42thinks you're better. I'll show you
11:43who's better." Right? And or he's doing
11:47the slaughter. He's taking a selfie at
11:49the same time for the sake of Allah,
11:51right? Something is corrupt about the
11:54intention. Something is missing for it's
11:56not accepted and he gets upset. And when
11:59people have bad intentions and they
12:00fail, they don't blame themselves. They
12:02blame somebody else. So the Quran says
12:06something very extreme. Allah says, he
12:08says, "He told his brother, I am going
12:11to kill you. Absolutely. I'm going to
12:13murder you." That's what he told his
12:14brother.
12:16What does this have to do with killing
12:17your brother? It has nothing to do with
12:20killing your brother. This means
12:22something has been building up for a
12:24long time. He has resentment towards his
12:27brother. He thinks his brother is better
12:29or he thinks his brother doesn't deserve
12:31it for a long time. And now once you
12:34finally get to this part is a slaughter.
12:37I can't take it anymore. You know what?
12:39You're the reason that I'm a failure. If
12:42you weren't there, I would be a better
12:44person. All of my mistakes are because
12:46of you. Because dad likes you better.
12:48Mom likes you better or even now Allah
12:50likes you better. I don't I hate
12:52this. Right? So you have you develop a
12:56sick mind where you think all of your
12:58problems are the fault of someone else
13:01and you develop a hatred for them. This
13:03is the same thing that the brothers of
13:05Ysef did, didn't isn't it? Our father
13:08doesn't love us enough. Why? Because
13:10Ysef is there. And if Ysef is gone,
13:15your father will love you only now then
13:17you will have his love so there's a sick
13:19mentality that develops and Allah told
13:21us from the very beginning this can
13:23happen between brothers between family
13:25notice all of these stories are about
13:26family every one of them you know the
13:29the enemy is the family the the victim
13:31is the family everybody's the family
13:33brothers to each other he says I'm going
13:35to kill you now the brother he says
13:38something that I want you to understand
13:40properly he says
13:45Allah only accepts from people that have
13:48tawa. That's what he says. Allah only
13:50accepts from people that have tawa. Now,
13:52this sounds
13:53like he's trying to offend him. Meaning
13:57he said he his sacrifice didn't get
13:59accepted. He says, "I'm going to kill
14:00you." He says, "Well, what do you want
14:01me to say? Allah only accepts from
14:03people who have tawa, not
14:04you. Have you seen your face? That's not
14:07a tawa face." That's not what he's
14:10saying. That's not what he's saying.
14:12What he's saying is look you and I
14:14follow the same religion. Allah has
14:16given us the same policies and Allah has
14:19told us he will only accept sacrifice
14:21from people who have tawa. So I did this
14:24and you did this and if it didn't work
14:27the only thing I can tell you is unless
14:29you have tawa it won't work. Maybe you
14:31should check in yourself what did you do
14:34that tawa was missing and maybe you can
14:37fix it. So he wasn't saying something
14:39negative. He was saying something
14:41positive. But when someone has a
14:42sickness in their mind and you try to
14:44help them and try to tell them maybe
14:46this is the problem, they say, "What did
14:48you say?" Huh? You you telling me I
14:51don't have tawa? You're going to talk to
14:53me like that? Oh, I if I was only
14:56talking about killing you
14:58before you just Oh, I can't take it
15:01anymore. This guy, he's going to tell me
15:03about tawba. Who does he think he is?
15:06And so he gets even more offended. Now
15:08the brother is saying this the truth.
15:09He's not trying to offend him but it
15:12makes things worse. What is Allah
15:13teaching us? Sometimes you have people
15:15in your life when you try to help them
15:17every time you say something good that
15:20good makes doesn't make things better.
15:22It makes things worse. It makes them
15:24more offensive, more aggressive, more
15:27angry. And you kind of what can I do
15:29here? And so the brother says after
15:31this, so he sees that the guy has picked
15:33up a rock or he's picked up a stick and
15:36he's coming after him. So he
15:39said, "If you're going to raise your
15:42hand to kill me, if you are going to
15:44raise your hand to kill
15:48me, I'm not going to raise my hand to
15:51kill you." There's a very interesting
15:53thing in this ayah. Some people believe
15:55there's there's no hadith about this
15:57really but there some people believe
15:59that one brother tried to kill the other
16:01one said okay go ahead fine I'm not
16:04going to fight back but actually the
16:07ayah
16:11is what does that mean I will not raise
16:14my hand to kill you even though you
16:17raised your hand to kill me which means
16:20I will raise my hand but I will not
16:22raise it to kill you, which means I will
16:25raise it for what? For defense. For
16:28self-defense, but not to kill you. We
16:30are both raising our hand, but you are
16:32raising it for the wrong reason, and I'm
16:34raising it for the right reason. Which
16:36is the same as we both sacrificed an
16:38animal, but I sacrificed it for the
16:40right reason, and you sacrificed it for
16:42the wrong reason. Allah is teaching us,
16:44you could see the same exact action, but
16:47behind that action, two very different
16:49intentions. Two completely different
16:51intentions. So the brother says, "Fight,
16:52I will raise my hand, but I'm not
16:54raising them to kill you. I'm raising
16:56them just to defend myself. And if you
16:57look from outside, they're both
16:59fighting." So if you caught it on
17:01camera, it looks like they're both
17:02fighting each other. They're both
17:03criminals. But he
17:05says, "I am afra I'm the one who is
17:08afraid of Allah." In other words, Allah
17:11knows that even when I'm raising my hand
17:13or I'm pushing you away, that's not
17:14offense. That is defense. And Allah know
17:16I am afraid of Allah. I am afraid of
17:19Allah. This is Allah teaching us the
17:20action could look the same on the
17:22outside but only on the inside will you
17:24know one of them has fear of Allah and
17:26one of them does not have the fear of
17:27Allah. You understand? You know in the
17:30story of Ysef Alisam they brought a
17:32shirt. They use a shirt to lie. Yes.
17:36Later on in the story Ysefam used a
17:39cup. Remember he put the cup in his
17:41brother's bag. Was that truthful or
17:44no? It's not quite truthful. But one of
17:47them is for good intention. One of them
17:48is to save and one is for evil
17:50intention. The action looks similar. The
17:53action has similarity but the intention
17:55is completely different. So Allah is now
17:57teaching us the actions look similar but
17:59the intention is completely different.
18:00But eventually the brother who tried to
18:02kill
18:04wins. Imagine he's on the ground and
18:07pound. There's a rock and he's about to
18:09kill him and he the brother who's about
18:11to be killed. He doesn't say, "Well, if
18:13you're going to kill me, I'm going to be
18:15shahid and may Allah forgive you also
18:17because in the end, we are family. It's
18:19okay. Ya Allah, forgive my brother." And
18:21then he gets killed. No, no, no, no, no,
18:23no, no, no. This is not Christianity.
18:25This is not turn the other cheek. This
18:28not it's not. He says, "If you're going
18:30to kill
18:33me, I want that you open up your heart,
18:37that you open up the space to carry my
18:39sin and your sin." In other words, he's
18:42saying, "I'm not perfect. I have
18:43mistakes too in my life. And I because
18:45you did this to me, I pray that Allah
18:47takes my sins from me and puts them on
18:49you and you have to carry your your sins
18:52also." And so after
18:57that and then you'll end up from the
18:59people of Jahannam. Why is he saying
19:00that? Because how can you say that about
19:02your brother? You want your brother to
19:04be in Jahannam?
19:06Yes. Why? Because he's no longer my
19:09brother. If he was my
19:12brother, who cut the family ties? Did
19:14the Did the victim cut the family ties
19:16or did the killer cut the family ties?
19:19Killer cut the family ties. Once he cut
19:20the family ties, I don't owe you
19:22anything.
19:24Because brothers are supposed to protect
19:25each other. They're supposed to have
19:26more rights of each other. When you
19:28decide that's not even good, you're even
19:29ready to kill me. Then I will treat you
19:32like an enemy because you decided that.
19:34I even tried to defend myself. But
19:36you're so psycho you couldn't even stop
19:38until you're actually at the point of
19:40murdering me. Then you know what? I hope
19:42that you at least take my sins with you.
19:44If you're going to go to Jahannam, at
19:45least give me a discount,
19:46too. Cuz he knows he's going to janam
19:49anyway. might as well give me some
19:51benefit out of this
19:54too. And that's how all wrongdoers shall
19:57be paid. What's the difference between
19:59the story of NIA and the story of of the
20:02two sons of Adam? In the story of Nisam,
20:04he was hurting
20:05himself. In the story of Adam, there's
20:08someone in your family. They're not just
20:09hurting themselves. They're also
20:11hurting. They're also hurting you. And
20:13then you say, "No, no, no. Just make dua
20:15for them. I know they're hurting me, but
20:17just make dua for them." No, no, no. You
20:18don't just make dua for them. You have
20:20to raise your hands to defend yourself.
20:22You have to you have to protect
20:23yourself. Our dean does not make us
20:25sacrifice ourselves because Allah give
20:28us rights also.
20:31Even
20:33said your own body has rights over you.
20:37Your nuffs has rights over you. Your
20:38body has rights over you. Your family
20:41has rights over you. Your brothers and
20:43sisters have rights over you. Your
20:44parents have rights over you. But you
20:46also have rights over you. You never
20:48humiliate yourself or sacrifice yourself
20:50because of somebody else, even your
20:52family. Even your family. So these these
20:55stories, they're they're a very powerful
20:57way for us to to extract principles for
21:00how we are supposed to live our lives.
21:02And there's a reason Allah put them from
21:04the beginning of humanity. The earliest
21:06stories Allah is telling us is about
21:08very difficult situations inside the
21:10family because this is part of the
21:12design of Allah. Every human being that
21:14will live on this earth will have some
21:16kind of challenge with their family and
21:18they might have to learn maybe from this
21:20example or this example or this example
21:22and of course not every not your brother
21:24is not he's not trying to kill you right
21:27and your son is not the son of Nam so
21:30don't immediately jump to
21:34oh no they could also be like Adam who
21:37slipped right and then he made aar he
21:40made so we cannot jump to judge
21:43every situation quickly. We have to step
21:46back and really understand the situation
21:48before we say which story and which
21:50lesson applies. May Allah give us the
21:51ability to apply these lessons maturely
21:53and appropriately and with the tawa of
21:56Allah and may Allah accept all of our
21:58and like him he himself
22:01says may Allah include us among the
22:03people of
22:06tawa. I hope you guys enjoyed that video
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22:49[Music]

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This page contains the full transcript of You Can't Always Guide Your Loved Ones - Nouman Ali Khan by Nouman Ali Khan - Official - Bayyinah, generated from the public captions YouTube serves with the video. The transcript has 4,121 words across 590 segments, with the original timestamps preserved so you can click any line to jump to that moment in the embedded player.

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