You Are the Source of Your Misery—Here’s Why: — Transcript

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1. 0:00I'm making this video because I did
2. 0:02something really stupid the other day
3. 0:04with the full intent that I was trying
4. 0:06to do something stupid. Yeah, I know
5. 0:08that sounds funny, but part of me wanted
6. 0:11to do it because I intuitively felt like
7. 0:14it was going to be a very meaningful
8. 0:16lesson and it would be a great
9. 0:17experience to share with you guys. So, I
10. 0:22made myself miserable yesterday. And as
11. 0:25somebody who is eternally optimistic, I
12. 0:28feel like this was just very very out of
13. 0:32the blue. All right, I'll dive right
14. 0:34into what happened. So, I work at a
15. 0:36credit union. I'm in member relationship
16. 0:38banking and I've been working every
17. 0:41Saturday since August of 2025.
18. 0:44Yesterday, I walked into work very well
19. 0:47knowing that it was going to be crazy
20. 0:48because our operations management is
21. 0:51very poor at the branch that I work at.
22. 0:55So, we have to adapt to change very
23. 0:57quickly and some of our balancing
24. 0:59practices are very poor because the 2nd
25. 1:04of January was the first business day of
26. 1:06the year. It was crazy on Friday. We
27. 1:10left work on Friday knowing that we
28. 1:12still had a bunch of work to get done
29. 1:13the next day. So anyway, I walk into
30. 1:16work on Saturday and there's only five
31. 1:18of us on schedule. Well, one of those
32. 1:20five ended up coming in late and we were
33. 1:23just we were busy all day and typically
34. 1:26my mindset towards work is I understand
35. 1:28that it's going to be hard and I
36. 1:30understand that it's going to be
37. 1:31challenging. However, I signed up for
38. 1:34this work and the best way I can
39. 1:36approach it is if I approach it with
40. 1:38mindset, how can I learn from this
41. 1:40situation? How is it making me stronger
42. 1:42as a person? And how can I help my team
43. 1:46grow and help the credit union become
44. 1:48successful while helping members succeed
45. 1:50in their finances at the same time?
46. 1:53Well, yesterday I gave myself full
47. 1:55permission to just be miserable. I am
48. 1:58not kidding you. Like
49. 2:01I did give myself permission to be
50. 2:03miserable as funny and as stupid as that
51. 2:06sounds. But what happened was there had
52. 2:10been so many days in a row where it has
53. 2:13had been just crazy like this. And I've
54. 2:16been the only person on the line who can
55. 2:17do certain operations because I'm
56. 2:19full-time and we have two part- timerrs
57. 2:22who aren't permitted to do as much as
58. 2:24the full-timers. So, I was the one
59. 2:27full-timer who happened to be working
60. 2:29that day and I was just getting a lot
61. 2:32pushed onto my plate. And ever since I
62. 2:34took more responsibility at my job, my
63. 2:37position hasn't changed. So, there
64. 2:39aren't a whole lot of boundaries with my
65. 2:41role. Like, I have I have not gotten to
66. 2:45change and pay ever since I've taken
67. 2:47these new responsibilities. My role has
68. 2:49stayed the same. I initially planned on
69. 2:52moving up with the credit union, but
70. 2:55there has been a lot of organizational
71. 2:57restructuring there and they've made it
72. 2:59very hard to move up with the company.
73. 3:01So anyway, I think on top of all the
74. 3:04stress building up over the days that
75. 3:08we've been super busy and employee
76. 3:11relations haven't been well, there were
77. 3:14a lot of subtle comments that I picked
78. 3:15up on from some colleagues and it just
79. 3:18turned into some resentment and I just
80. 3:23began like throwing a vit mentally like
81. 3:25this job sucks. management is the reason
82. 3:28why I can't move up with this company.
83. 3:30And I was kind of rushing my work. Like
84. 3:35it was getting done, but it could have
85. 3:36been done more thoroughly. And I started
86. 3:40feeling bad because I wasn't doing my
87. 3:41work thoroughly. So it began turning
88. 3:43into this cycle. And then out of
89. 3:45nowhere, I suddenly decided, well,
90. 3:48because I feel like such crap today, I'm
91. 3:51going to give myself a cheat day and eat
92. 3:53whatever food I want. And in that
93. 3:56moment, I knew that I was going to
94. 3:59regret the choices I was going to make,
95. 4:01but I was giving myself again permission
96. 4:04to be miserable.
97. 4:07So, between the few seconds that I did
98. 4:10get at work, I was just snacking like
99. 4:12crazy. After that, I went to Subway and
100. 4:15I got two sandwiches. And after that, I
101. 4:18just I kept eating. And I'm a person who
102. 4:22eats very clean. I take care of my body
103. 4:24very well. And because I don't ever eat
104. 4:26foods like this, I returned home and my
105. 4:29stomach hurt so bad. And I was so upset
106. 4:34because I was blaming work for my misery
107. 4:36that I broke down in tears the moment I
108. 4:39got home. I called my partner and I told
109. 4:42him how unsatisfied I was with my job
110. 4:46because I chose to look at it from a
111. 4:49poor stance.
112. 4:51After that, I talked with my dad on the
113. 4:54phone and I I mean, I'm always in a
114. 4:57chirpy mood. I always feel really good,
115. 4:59but that day I just I completely lost
116. 5:02it. Like something within me just said,
117. 5:04"You got to take a break. Just just
118. 5:06blame everything else." So, I just I
119. 5:09completely crashed. And I'm don't take
120. 5:12this as me just ruining my life. This is
121. 5:14just a one-time thing, right? But it's
122. 5:16still a really important lesson to keep
123. 5:18in mind if this is something that's
124. 5:20consistently happen happening in your
125. 5:22life. If you're constantly blaming
126. 5:26external things for your internal
127. 5:27misery, that's not how it works. Because
128. 5:30you could have two people in the same
129. 5:34situation and one person could look at
130. 5:36it from a very negative stance while the
131. 5:40other could have a very optimistic
132. 5:41stance about the particular situation.
133. 5:44Like in my example, that one day where I
134. 5:47was at my work in relationship banking
135. 5:50and whatnot, I could have chosen to
136. 5:52approach that in a very optimistic
137. 5:54mindset like I normally do. But I think
138. 5:58at the rate that I'm growing and
139. 6:01developing as a person, I've done so
140. 6:04much inner work that I've just grown
141. 6:06exponentially like mentally,
142. 6:09emotionally, and physically to some
143. 6:11extent because the strength training.
144. 6:13Yeah, we'll get into that later. But I
145. 6:16do feel like I've outgrown that job and
146. 6:19I
147. 6:20and I won't blame myself for wanting a
148. 6:22different job because yes, it has been
149. 6:24stressful, but it's within my control to
150. 6:27apply to a new job and I think I deserve
151. 6:30better. You know, I've been working on
152. 6:32myself so hard and I've done so much
153. 6:36training and learning about banking and
154. 6:39that's gone unrecognized. like I haven't
155. 6:42gotten a raise. I haven't gotten a
156. 6:44promotion. And it just feels like my
157. 6:45progress is stagnant. So, I think it's I
158. 6:49think it's time for me to leave. And
159. 6:50yeah, that's in my control. I'm not
160. 6:52going to let myself become miserable
161. 6:53like I allowed myself to be yesterday.
162. 6:56Y'all, if you got a job that you just
163. 6:58absolutely hate and you blame the job
164. 7:00for your misery, I understand like it's
165. 7:03financially difficult to find a new job.
166. 7:07But if you don't want to be miserable,
167. 7:10you need to make that rearrangement or
168. 7:13you can just approach work with a
169. 7:15different mindset. Yes, it is easier
170. 7:18said than done to be optimistic, but you
171. 7:21are the only person who can control your
172. 7:24response. And your response to work
173. 7:26means more than anything. And it's not
174. 7:29just work you can apply this mindset to.
175. 7:31It's anything in life. Like let's say
176. 7:34you get a flat tire and you don't know
177. 7:36how to change your tire. Well, you could
178. 7:38either approach it as this is horrible.
179. 7:41I don't know how to change my tire. I'm
180. 7:43gonna have to rely on somebody else to
181. 7:45do it for me. Or this is a learning
182. 7:47opportunity for you to learn how to fix
183. 7:49your tire yourself. And with that new
184. 7:52knowledge, you can also spread that on
185. 7:53to other people who you can teach how to
186. 7:56change their tires. See, there's a vast
187. 7:59difference between these two approaches.
188. 8:01Because person A, the pessimist, versus
189. 8:04person B, the optimist, probably have
190. 8:06completely different lives just because
191. 8:08of how they approach things from day to
192. 8:11day. So anyway, I'm going to get back to
193. 8:14my story, how I made myself miserable
194. 8:16yesterday. So I ended up visiting my dad
195. 8:19because my dad is an amazing person.
196. 8:22Dad, if you're seeing this, shout out to
197. 8:23you. I love you so much. So when I
198. 8:26visited my dad, you know, he and I were
199. 8:28very like-minded. We think about the
200. 8:30same things. We're very intuitive,
201. 8:33neurodeivergent people. So we definitely
202. 8:36like have a lot of ideas and thoughts.
203. 8:38So, we talked for maybe like a good 2,
204. 8:40three hours last night. And what it
205. 8:42really boiled down to was just me being
206. 8:45in control and yeah,
207. 8:49being accountable for creating my own
208. 8:51misery because I
209. 8:54could have taken initiative
210. 8:57to be positive and make better
211. 9:00influential changes at work rather than
212. 9:03just be a grouch and let that define the
213. 9:06rest of my day. And I could have taken
214. 9:08better care of my body, too, by choosing
215. 9:11healthier foods to focus on during my
216. 9:13cheat day rather than just pouring
217. 9:15sugar, carbs, and seed oils into my
218. 9:17body. And I get it. Yeah, I only have
219. 9:20like a cheat day once a month, but that
220. 9:23one in particular just really hurt my
221. 9:25body. And even right now, I'm still
222. 9:27recovering from it. But in summary,
223. 9:31these are meaningful lessons and you
224. 9:34have to reflect on why you're the only
225. 9:36person who can prevent yourself from
226. 9:38being miserable.
227. 9:40Y'all, I want to keep this video short
228. 9:42and succinct. So, if you have any
229. 9:44questions or even arguments that you
230. 9:47want to pose to me, I am completely open
231. 9:49to that. Y'all can just chat with me in
232. 9:51the comment section. I reply daily. I'm
233. 9:54more than welcome to engage with you
234. 9:56guys. I love spending time discussing
235. 9:58these various things. So until next
236. 10:01time, I'll see you guys. Okay, bye.