Why Women Love Strong Boundaries — Transcript

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1. 0:00Who here has gone on a date with a man
2. 0:01and you knew you weren't going to have
3. 0:02sex with them?
4. 0:04Notice they all uh we've done this 15
5. 0:05times. Every time they raise their hand.
6. 0:07Every every woman in the room raises
7. 0:08their hand.
8. 0:09People cannot believe me when I say
9. 0:10this. So, you guys know that. So, as a
10. 0:12as a guy, like say in my 20s, I'd be out
11. 0:14with a girl. She knew she didn't she'd
12. 0:16want to hook up with me. And I would do
13. 0:17this thing where I would just keep
14. 0:18trying to make out with her and just
15. 0:19keep going for it over and over again.
16. 0:21>> for just for clarification, you're
17. 0:22saying you show up to the date knowing
18. 0:24>> No, no, at the end of the date. We've
19. 0:25gone on the date, we've gone to dinner,
20. 0:26we're back at my place, we're watching
21. 0:28TV, I go for it, make out, make out.
22. 0:30This is just This is kind of like
23. 0:31typical PUA [ __ ] And this is like 20
24. 0:33years ago. And so, I would keep trying
25. 0:35over and over again till finally she
26. 0:36would just like leave. And then this
27. 0:38crazy thing I did, which is at the about
28. 0:40the two-hour mark, I'd be like, "Hey,
29. 0:42listen, I got to get up in the morning.
30. 0:44Can I call you an Uber? It's been a
31. 0:45really great time." And I've been I did
32. 0:47that. And one of two magical things
33. 0:49happened after that. Either one, she's
34. 0:50like, "Okay, now I want to have sex."
35. 0:53Or two, the next time I saw her, she's
36. 0:55like, "Okay, now I want to have sex." It
37. 0:56was so crazy because it was the first
38. 0:58time she'd ever met a man in her entire
39. 1:00life who actually decided that getting
40. 1:02good sleep was better than chasing after
41. 1:04a woman. She'd never seen that before in
42. 1:06her life. That was a an experience she
43. 1:08never had. That was 20 years ago. Today,
44. 1:10she's Most of you have How many of you
45. 1:12guys would have a dude just sit there
46. 1:14and try all night to smash? He's just
47. 1:15not going to give up. Raise your hand.
48. 1:17Stop lying. There you go. That's what
49. 1:18I'm saying. Like
50. 1:20they're going to try all night. And so,
51. 1:21that's the thing. That's the difference.
52. 1:23I it's it's okay. Again, ladies, when
53. 1:26you guys go to the gym, guys look at
54. 1:27you. They do. They're like, "Oh my god,
55. 1:29she's attractive." You guys see guys
56. 1:30staring at you all the time. Do you
57. 1:33do you apologize to your boyfriend when
58. 1:36guys stare at you? No, you don't. So, as
59. 1:38a man, you shouldn't apologize when
60. 1:40women find you attractive. I think you
61. 1:41shouldn't have to do that as well. And
62. 1:43so, that's the whole thing. I think both
63. 1:45genders can let It's okay to let other
64. 1:47people know, "Hey, I love your house. I
65. 1:49love your car. Your boyfriend's really
66. 1:50attractive, etc." While it may be a
67. 1:52little bit of stress initially, I also
68. 1:54think it makes women more attractive.
69. 1:55Man, I thought that I think that the the
70. 1:57data says that. Go ahead.
71. 1:57>> Whenever somebody does that, I say,
72. 1:59"Thank you. I have a mirror. I own a
73. 2:00mirror."
74. 2:01>> "I own a mirror. You look good, yeah?"
75. 2:03That's awesome. Put a one in the chat if
76. 2:04you are ready to date Mechi. Let's get
77. 2:06in there.
78. 2:07Let's get Mechi. Let's partner Mechi up.
79. 2:09Um do you want to do um
80. 2:10>> Wait, here's Here's your boundaries
81. 2:11right here.
82. 2:12>> His His boy- Her boyfriend is here. Just
83. 2:13so you know.
84. 2:14>> Okay, beautiful.
85. 2:15>> [laughter]
86. 2:15>> So, off the table.
87. 2:16>> Okay, good. Mechi's off the table. Thank
88. 2:17you for letting us know that. We should
89. 2:19have asked that. Uh do you want to do
90. 2:20this one or this one? This one right
91. 2:21here. Hey, okay. Uh we were talking to
92. 2:23with Mark about this before about men
93. 2:25competing with other men. This is one of
94. 2:27the funniest ways that men deni- What is
95. 2:29the the number one way that men
96. 2:30denigrate other men? Do you guys know?
97. 2:32>> About their clothes?
98. 2:33>> Uh that's generally men don't do that. I
99. 2:35think women denigrate men with that.
100. 2:37What did You guys know what it is?
101. 2:38What's the number one thing when they
102. 2:39don't like a guy they say he's what?
103. 2:41Anybody know?
104. 2:42You go ahead. Play it.
105. 2:44>> That's funny. Gay.
106. 2:47Wait, wait, can I can I say one thing
107. 2:48about the last thing that you said
108. 2:49before you switch? Well, you were So,
109. 2:51what you were just saying the reason why
110. 2:52that's so attractive for you or any man
111. 2:55to be like, "Hey, I need to get some
112. 2:56good sleep tonight." It's because you're
113. 2:58taking care of yourself. And when a man
114. 3:00and a woman when when we all take care
115. 3:02of ourselves and we prioritize our own
116. 3:04bodies and our own health mentally,
117. 3:06emotionally, physically, spiritually,
118. 3:07it's so attractive when you're a healthy
119. 3:10person that is attractive to you. And
120. 3:12so, for me, someone who is number one
121. 3:14devotion is to my temple. And that's
122. 3:16what I show people how to do, how to
123. 3:17heal themselves naturally, how to
124. 3:18transform their experience. So, for me,
125. 3:20if someone is like, "I got to get get up
126. 3:22early." And then I'm like
127. 3:24>> It was It was ma- It was magical. I I
128. 3:26had gone out with this girl like four
129. 3:27times. And then one time I was like,
130. 3:28"Hey, this has been really great. I do
131. 3:30this
132. 3:32Let me By the way, the Uber black, too.
133. 3:34Like the most expensive Uber. Spending
134. 3:36money to bring a girl to your place,
135. 3:37that might be simp- Spending money to
136. 3:39get a girl to leave, that's not.
137. 3:40[laughter] And so, she would see that
138. 3:42and then she'd be like, "No, I'd rather
139. 3:43stay." And so, I had to cancel the Uber.
140. 3:45Uh do you want to play this one?
141. 3:45>> Yeah, hang on. Give me one second.
142. 3:46>> Okay, hold on. No audio. I just I've got
143. 3:48to re-download. Go ahead.
144. 3:50Okay, so we need some time.
145. 3:51>> Yeah, just give me a second. Yeah.
146. 3:52>> Okay, cool. Um so uh back to this whole
147. 3:56concept before
148. 3:57about having boundaries and there being
149. 3:59a bunch of
150. 4:00what what I think is a lot of guys are
151. 4:02misled when it comes to what they need
152. 4:05to do in a relationship.
153. 4:07And the other thing that I have found is
154. 4:09and that we're going to watch a Scott
155. 4:10Galloway clip here in a little bit.
156. 4:11>> That's a long one, too, by the way. So
157. 4:12we're going to have to
158. 4:13>> We're okay.
159. 4:14>> to wait through it. Yeah.
160. 4:14>> Give me a second.
161. 4:15>> Good. Okay.
162. 4:15>> Um the the other idea that Scott
163. 4:18Galloway talked about this where it men
164. 4:20are kind of described as Homer Simpson
165. 4:21or they're Ted Bundy. They're either
166. 4:24predators or they're just completely
167. 4:26ignorant. And because of that um that
168. 4:29pervasive narrative is so on social
169. 4:31media so incredibly frequently that it
170. 4:33causes women in general to think less of
171. 4:35men. And then the New Statesman comes
172. 4:37out with an article, this is about 3
173. 4:38weeks ago, where they go over the fact
174. 4:40that in general
175. 4:42uh 50% of women have a negative view of
176. 4:44men and 21% of women have a
177. 4:48an actively negative view of men. Like
178. 4:49they very much don't like men.
179. 4:51For the opposite for men, it was only 7%
180. 4:53of men. And so and so one of the things
181. 4:55that
182. 4:56and when they when they surveyed younger
183. 4:58women, those women liked men even less.
184. 5:01And so the thing that I would say, what
185. 5:03is the correlation? The greatest
186. 5:04correlation is how much time they've
187. 5:06spent on social media. I absolutely
188. 5:08believe that the number one teaching
189. 5:11tool that that people have young people
190. 5:13have in general is TikTok right now and
191. 5:16it's causing massive levels of brain
192. 5:18rot. So now we get into a situation
193. 5:20where it's like, well, I'm on a date
194. 5:21with a guy, but he doesn't make me feel
195. 5:23the butterflies. Swipe away. Swipe away.
196. 5:25I'm not having the feeling right now.
197. 5:26Swipe away. Swipe away. I'm not getting
198. 5:28that
199. 5:29I'm not he's doesn't feel like my
200. 5:30soulmate. Swipe away. Swipe They're
201. 5:31being taught, I don't like this feeling.
202. 5:33Swipe away. Swipe away. And then now we
203. 5:35get into a dating society where women
204. 5:36are like, I ask you ladies, how many of
205. 5:38you guys go on a date with a guy you
206. 5:39knew weren't going to have sex with?
207. 5:41Boop. All of you rose your hand cuz
208. 5:43we're in a different society now. We're
209. 5:44in a society where it's like you like
210. 5:46getting attention. For for for men, it's
211. 5:49like we want to we want to For us to get
212. 5:51our validation as men, in general, it
213. 5:53comes from some level of compliance and
214. 5:55then also a beautiful woman that we very
215. 5:57much like having sex with us. That is
216. 5:59part of our validation. For women, they
217. 6:01can get their validation from the
218. 6:02attention that they get from other
219. 6:03people, which is why social media is so
220. 6:06addictive and so pervasive for women,
221. 6:08and it is the greatest envy creation
222. 6:10tool in history. That's what social
223. 6:12media is and it's causing people to have
224. 6:14distorted views of what they can get
225. 6:15from relationships.