Why Powerful People Suddenly Disappear! | Robert Greene — Transcript

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1. 0:00A lot of power
2. 0:01>> [music]
3. 0:01>> is thinking ahead two or three moves
4. 0:04ahead. And in order to see think several
5. 0:06moves in advance, you you know what your
6. 0:09intentions [music] are. You know where
7. 0:10you're going to go
8. 0:12in 6 months, right? And so, you have to
9. 0:15have a vision of where you're headed,
10. 0:18but you have to keep everybody else in
11. 0:19the dark so that they can't predict
12. 0:22what's happening next.
13. 0:23>> [music]
14. 0:23>> So,
15. 0:25part of concealing intentions, part of
16. 0:26business, part of power is the ability
17. 0:29to think strategically, to think in
18. 0:31advance, to think several moves in
19. 0:33advance. And that means having
20. 0:36intentions, having moves that you
21. 0:38planned out,
22. 0:39>> [music]
23. 0:39>> but you want to keep other people on
24. 0:41their heels. They don't know where
25. 0:42you're going to go next.
26. 0:44Talking less
27. 0:45>> [music]
28. 0:46>> creates an aura of power. It makes you
29. 0:48look larger than you actually are. It
30. 0:51makes you think make people think
31. 0:53he's mysterious, she he or she's
32. 0:55mysterious. When you talk a lot, I don't
33. 0:57know if you've noticed this, but people
34. 0:58who talk a lot,
35. 1:00they kind of there's something insecure
36. 1:02about them. If you can't control your
37. 1:04own mouth, if you can't control that,
38. 1:06then what can you control? You can't
39. 1:08control your emotions, you can't control
40. 1:10your behavior. It signals weakness
41. 1:12[music] and insecurity. Whereas, talking
42. 1:15less, you're not going to say something
43. 1:17stupid. [music]
44. 1:18And then when you do speak, it is going
45. 1:20to carry a lot of weight.
46. 1:23Down to the baseline of every human
47. 1:25being, we're all actors. Some are good
48. 1:28actors, some act more, [music] some are
49. 1:29bad actors.
50. 1:31But I I always tell people, if you look
51. 1:32at children three or four years old, or
52. 1:35you remember your own childhood, you
53. 1:37were constantly pretending, you were
54. 1:38constantly acting to your parents.
55. 1:40[music] You would act like an angel to
56. 1:42get something that you wanted. You'd act
57. 1:44all sweet and innocent because you
58. 1:45wanted some candy, you wanted some game.
59. 1:49Being an actor is part of human nature.
60. 1:51It's deeply, deeply [music] ingrained in
61. 1:53all of us because we're a social animal.
62. 1:57If you went around just speaking [music]
63. 1:58everything that you thought, you would
64. 2:00offend everyone around you, right? If
65. 2:03you told somebody that their clothes are
66. 2:05ugly, that they look fat, that their
67. 2:07ideas [music] are stupid, they're going
68. 2:08to hate you. You're not going to get
69. 2:10very far in life. So, you learn at an
70. 2:12early age
71. 2:13>> [music]
72. 2:13>> to control what you say, to control who
73. 2:16you are, to control what you do. Don't
74. 2:17you think that's how we all are? We're
75. 2:19different in front of our father than we
76. 2:21are with our friends, right? [music] So,
77. 2:23get over this notion that we can all
78. 2:25just hang out and just be who we are.
79. 2:27You're never being who you are. You're
80. 2:29always acting to some degree.
81. 2:33People rise to power. They become a CEO,
82. 2:36they become a leader, they become a
83. 2:37president or whatever,
84. 2:39based on certain qualities that they
85. 2:41have, a strength.
86. 2:43It could be aggression. It could be
87. 2:46being a people pleaser, being just
88. 2:48[music] very empathetic. It could be
89. 2:51having a populist touch. Could be good
90. 2:53with words, an orator.
91. 2:55This their strength, they use that and
92. 2:58they get a lot of power because they're
93. 2:59good at it. They don't have to think
94. 3:00about it. It's almost natural to them.
95. 3:02They get to a position of power and now
96. 3:05the world is changing, your rivals are
97. 3:07changing, the business world is
98. 3:09changing, and you're still holding onto
99. 3:11that one quality that brought you
100. 3:13[music] to the top. You're still
101. 3:14thinking that my aggression or that my
102. 3:17being popular and and pleasing everybody
103. 3:19or my speaking [music] well, and you
104. 3:21keep holding onto that and the world has
105. 3:23passed you by and you're weak.
106. 3:25>> [music]
107. 3:25>> And Machiavelli said,
108. 3:27"If I could create
109. 3:30the monster, the perfect, the
110. 3:31Frankenstein of of a leader in business
111. 3:34or politics, whatever, it would be
112. 3:36somebody who could change with the
113. 3:38times. Who they rose to power based on a
114. 3:41strength, they see that it's not quite
115. 3:43[music] the right quality and they adapt
116. 3:45and they become and they move with the
117. 3:47times." He compared it to a river,
118. 3:49right? [music] And you're kind of moving
119. 3:51like the water, you're flowing with this
120. 3:53this river.
121. 3:54And that's power. [music]
122. 3:55But being rigid
123. 3:58and having a form and having a strategy
124. 4:00that you always rely on and having
125. 4:03[music] a personality that you always
126. 4:04exude to the world and perform as is
127. 4:08weak because you can't adapt. I mean,
128. 4:11think of your own business.
129. 4:13Your own business your business in the
130. 4:15last 3 years. Can you begin to imagine
131. 4:18all the incredible shifts that have
132. 4:19occurred [music] in just that time? And
133. 4:21so, in order to gain people's attention,
134. 4:25people get very bored.
135. 4:27Right? They get very bored very quickly
136. 4:28if you're always the same, if you always
137. 4:30have one note. They're like children
138. 4:32who've been continually stimulated with
139. 4:35all kinds [music] of of of new and
140. 4:37exciting new toys, right? And you're
141. 4:39vying for their attention, [music] okay?
142. 4:42If you're always the same, if you're
143. 4:43always doing the same,
144. 4:45>> [music]
145. 4:45>> if you're always appearing the same,
146. 4:47they're going to look they're going to
147. 4:48get bored with you and they're going to
148. 4:50look for something [music] else. So, you
149. 4:53have to be mysterious. You have to
150. 4:54withdraw.
151. 4:55If you withdraw and you're not always
152. 4:58vying for their attention, you disappear
153. 5:00for a month, you don't post anything, or
154. 5:03you post something that's
155. 5:04maybe a little bit enigmatic where
156. 5:06they're not quite sure what you mean.
157. 5:08Suddenly, they're going to pay attention
158. 5:09to you. Michael Jackson was very good
159. 5:12about that.
160. 5:13Part of it was his personality, but he
161. 5:15would withdraw.
162. 5:16People don't understand Michael Jackson
163. 5:19was a real kind of power person. He
164. 5:21really
165. 5:22is interested in the game of power. In
166. 5:23fact, I've said this before in other
167. 5:26podcasts,
168. 5:27he had the 48 Laws of Power.
169. 5:30And when he died, they auctioned his
170. 5:32copy of the book [music]
171. 5:34and it had all of these notes in it.
172. 5:35He'd annotated it completely with his
173. 5:37own notes.
174. 5:39So, he was very interested, but before
175. 5:41the book came out, he understood [music]
176. 5:43the game of power. And he understood
177. 5:45sometimes you have to withdraw.
178. 5:47Sometimes you have to be one of those
179. 5:48movie stars, like Greta Garbo, who
180. 5:50disappears for 6 months, a year, or 2
181. 5:53years. People start thinking, "What's he
182. 5:55up to next? When's his next album going
183. 5:56to be out? What's it going to be about?"
184. 5:59Even Beyoncé plays the game like that.
185. 6:01So, the people
186. 6:03these are
187. 6:04these are artists, so it's a little
188. 6:05easier, but the game is to sometimes
189. 6:08withdraw from that attention cycle.
190. 6:10[music]
191. 6:11We are always having to be something for
192. 6:12other people. Take a step back and let
193. 6:15them start wondering what happened to
194. 6:17you. Disappear for a while. You have to
195. 6:20know
196. 6:21the game of absence and presence.
197. 6:23[music] Sometimes you have to be absent
198. 6:24and sometimes you have to be present.
199. 6:26Napoleon Bonaparte said,
200. 6:29"If I show up at the theater every
201. 6:30evening as a spectator, the audience
202. 6:33sees me, they start taking me for
203. 6:35granted. But, if I show up a month
204. 6:36[music] later, oh, there's Napoleon,
205. 6:38wow. Then I show up the next week, oh,
206. 6:41he's coming often. Then I show up 6
207. 6:43months,
208. 6:44they don't know when I'm going to show
209. 6:45up next, so you're all they're always
210. 6:47having to think about him." So, that's
211. 6:49sort of the game a little bit, knowing
212. 6:50how to this dynamic between absence and
213. 6:53presence.
214. 6:55So, there are times when you need to
215. 6:57apologize, and the apology has to be
216. 7:00sincere,
217. 7:02and it has to be
218. 7:03not the usual thing where "I don't know
219. 7:06what came over me. That's not who I am.
220. 7:08That just happened once." No, you
221. 7:11acknowledge
222. 7:12that you made a mistake, right? That you
223. 7:14did something wrong,
224. 7:16and you show genuine contrition.
225. 7:19And then, you know, a lot of people who
226. 7:21were canceled [music] 6 years ago,
227. 7:23that's when they were contacting me, or
228. 7:258 years ago. And I said,
229. 7:28"You know, show that your contrition,
230. 7:30understand why people reacted against
231. 7:33you, [music]
232. 7:34give it a little bit of time, and then
233. 7:36come back
234. 7:38with
235. 7:39more or less the same image,
236. 7:41but, you know, understanding there are
237. 7:44there are kind of guardrails here, you
238. 7:46know? You have to understand that the
239. 7:49person above you
240. 7:51has an ego [music]
241. 7:52and has probably a bigger ego than you
242. 7:54do, obviously, cuz they're [music]
243. 7:56powerful.
244. 7:57But with an ego comes insecurities,
245. 8:00okay?
246. 8:01So, you must be aware that the person
247. 8:03above you
248. 8:05has insecurities
249. 8:07and it probably has more than you do
250. 8:08because they're constantly worried,
251. 8:11"Do people still like me? Am I still
252. 8:13doing as well? Am I as a popular as I
253. 8:15was a year ago? Am I getting as much
254. 8:17attention as I deserve? [music]
255. 8:19Am I doing a good job?" He or she is
256. 8:21very insecure. They're thinking about
257. 8:23these things all of the time.
258. 8:25So,
259. 8:26what happens is if you try too eagerly
260. 8:29to impress them and you do such a good
261. 8:31job on some project or something, and
262. 8:34then all the attention accrues to you
263. 8:37for doing that, then you're going to
264. 8:38trigger their insecurities. "Wow, this
265. 8:42person's getting [music] the attention
266. 8:43and not me. Maybe they're after my job.
267. 8:46Maybe they're more popular than I am."
268. 8:48They're not going to consciously think
269. 8:50this because [music] they don't want to
270. 8:51admit that they're insecure, but
271. 8:54unconsciously they're they're worried
272. 8:55about you. They're they're thinking
273. 8:58things that maybe you're a threat,
274. 9:00right? And slowly they're going to build
275. 9:02up kind of resentment towards you, and
276. 9:05what will happen is you'll probably be
277. 9:06fired or you'll be demoted.
278. 9:08So, if you work hard on a project for
279. 9:11somebody else, from somebody higher up
280. 9:13in your group, [music] and you do a
281. 9:14great job, you need to tone it down a
282. 9:17little bit. Don't take so much credit.
283. 9:20Let them bask a little bit in the glory.
284. 9:23Let them have the attention. Yes,
285. 9:26they're the genius behind the project. I
286. 9:28was just executing their their desires.
287. 9:31That makes them suddenly go,
288. 9:33"Wow, this person" You understand that
289. 9:35they're that they did a great job, but
290. 9:38they're being a little bit humble.
291. 9:39They're giving you the attention which
292. 9:40you deserve anyway because you think you
293. 9:42do, okay? But if you were if you're too
294. 9:45weak about it, if you're too humble, if
295. 9:47you're going, "Oh,
296. 9:49you know, you don't take credit at all.
297. 9:50You weren't involved in it all." That
298. 9:52makes you look weak, right?
299. 9:55So, you have to be kind of nuanced. You
300. 9:57have to do a good job. You have to try
301. 9:59really hard. You have to do the best
302. 10:01that you can,
303. 10:02but you got to let the person above you
304. 10:04take some of the credit, take some of
305. 10:06the [music] glory. Otherwise, they're
306. 10:08going to be wondering about you. They're
307. 10:10going to be thinking that you think that
308. 10:11you're better than them, and you're
309. 10:13going to trigger their insecurities.
310. 10:15This is the most important law in power
311. 10:18that I want you to engrave in your brain
312. 10:20right now as you listen to me.
313. 10:22And it's the following.
314. 10:24Everybody has insecurities and has an
315. 10:27ego.
316. 10:28And the worst thing you can do for your
317. 10:30boss, for your colleagues, for the
318. 10:31people underneath you
319. 10:33is to violate their ego, [music] to make
320. 10:35them feel insecure.
321. 10:38You will pay a price for it. They will
322. 10:40resent you. They will work against you.
323. 10:42They will betray you in the end. So,
324. 10:44never lose sight that everybody around
325. 10:47you has an ego and has insecurities. So,
326. 10:50law number one is understand that
327. 10:53probably they're insecure. Probably
328. 10:56you're going to trigger their egos, and
329. 10:58be a little bit careful.
330. 11:00Nothing Nothing ever comes free in this
331. 11:03world. Nobody ever ever gives you
332. 11:06something free. [music] Nobody gives you
333. 11:08anything for free. They're wanting
334. 11:10something in return, and there it's a
335. 11:13trick where they're thinking that
336. 11:16if they offer their services for free,
337. 11:18you're going to go, "Okay, that's
338. 11:19great."
339. 11:20And you're not going to pay attention to
340. 11:22the fact that they're after something
341. 11:23else from you, right? [music]
342. 11:25And so,
343. 11:26it's always better to pay people, and
344. 11:29pay them well for their services.
345. 11:31[music]
346. 11:32So, if you're generous with your money,
347. 11:35if you show that you're not niggardly,
348. 11:37you're not A powerful person
349. 11:40feels confident in their [music] wealth,
350. 11:42feels confident in their resources,
351. 11:43feels confident in the time that they
352. 11:45have, and so they give that generously
353. 11:47to other people.
354. 11:49Being tight with your money, not wanting
355. 11:51to pay your employees well,
356. 11:53is a terrible, terrible quality and it
357. 11:55will bite you in the end. So, I always
358. 11:57tell you
359. 11:59maybe you don't give them credit for
360. 12:00everything, maybe you keep them a little
361. 12:02bit on on their toes, but you pay them
362. 12:05well, right? You treat them well, they
363. 12:08feel comfortable, they have food, they
364. 12:10have an apartment, they have living
365. 12:12expenses, okay?
366. 12:14And you don't want to make them feel
367. 12:16insecure about that. So, being cheap
368. 12:18with your money is very, very dangerous.
369. 12:20It's a signal of weakness, okay?
370. 12:23But
371. 12:24on the other hand
372. 12:26when people are offering their services
373. 12:28and they come [music] to you saying, "I
374. 12:29want it for free."
375. 12:31I say, "Forget about that. There's a
376. 12:33ploy there. They're they're after
377. 12:35something." But if somebody comes to you
378. 12:37and says
379. 12:38"Robert, I really want to work for you.
380. 12:40I think I could be a really great
381. 12:41researcher and this is what I'm worth."
382. 12:44And then you see that they have some
383. 12:46experience and you try them out and you
384. 12:48pay them, that's going to be a a good
385. 12:52relationship moving forward.
386. 12:55The single most important skill to
387. 12:56master is to be more focused outwardly.
388. 13:01So, a problem that you have is you're
389. 13:03always inside yourself. You're always
390. 13:05thinking about your needs, your
391. 13:06emotions,
392. 13:08your problems, things that have happened
393. 13:11to you, to people like me, am I getting
394. 13:13enough attention? [music]
395. 13:14That's a deadly, deadly attitude to have
396. 13:17in business or in any venture in life.
397. 13:20On the world, on the trends, on what
398. 13:22other people are thinking, you have to
399. 13:24become a master observer of the social
400. 13:27game, being able to read other people's
401. 13:29psychology, being able to read and
402. 13:32understand the trends that are going on
403. 13:34in the world, where world is going in 5
404. 13:36years. So, get outside of all your
405. 13:38emotions and your feelings and oh, I'm
406. 13:39not getting this. Oh, I'm such a victim.
407. 13:41[music]
408. 13:42Oh, people don't like me. And be laser
409. 13:44focused on other people, what they need,
410. 13:46what they're thinking, what they're
411. 13:47feeling. That's like the the killer
412. 13:50skill that you need to develop.
413. 13:52You need to think of your 20s, which by
414. 13:55is by far the best years of your life.
415. 13:58Let's get that straight first. Well, it
416. 13:59was the best years of my life, right?
417. 14:02It's most exciting. You know, you're
418. 14:04young, you look good, you've got energy,
419. 14:06you know, you dress well, probably, I
420. 14:08hope. The thing that you want from your
421. 14:1020s is you want an apprenticeship,
422. 14:12[music] right? You want to learn. You
423. 14:14want learning skill. You want to learn
424. 14:16skills, solid skills, so that by the
425. 14:20time you turn 30, which is a critical
426. 14:22turning point in your life.
427. 14:25I said the 20s are your most fun. The
428. 14:2630s are the key part of your life, which
429. 14:28is my key [music] part, the late 30s.
430. 14:31When you're 30, you want to be go I had
431. 14:34fun. I had adventures. [music] I
432. 14:35traveled. You know, I dated. I I did
433. 14:38everything I wanted, but I also learned
434. 14:40things. I learned A, B, and C skills.
435. 14:43[music]
436. 14:44You don't have to learn just one skill.
437. 14:46You can learn three skills, three things
438. 14:47that you master, [music] that you spent
439. 14:497 years
440. 14:51going into deeply. But, if you wasted
441. 14:53your 20s, if [music] you just had fun,
442. 14:56you just did whatever you wanted to, by
443. 14:59the time you hit 30, you nothing will
444. 15:01stick together. Nothing will cohere.
445. 15:03You've been stretched too thin. But, if
446. 15:05you're all if you're linear laser
447. 15:07focused, I'm just going to go to Goldman
448. 15:08Sachs. I'm going to get a job. I'm going
449. 15:10to get paid 150,000 a year.
450. 15:13You're not spreading yourself out.
451. 15:14You're not learning enough skills.
452. 15:15You're not developing yourself inwardly.
453. 15:18You know, learning
454. 15:21a skill is a skill, but learning is a
455. 15:23skill.
456. 15:24And in order to learn, you have to be
457. 15:27able to put up with boredom,
458. 15:28>> [music]
459. 15:29>> frustration, and tedium.