"Why Isn't My Sales Page Converting?" — Transcript

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1. 0:00Let's get mine supply. Let's look at
2. 0:01this puppy. All right, let me share my
3. 0:03screen again.
4. 0:04I'll keep going until you guys tell me
5. 0:06that you're bored and you want to go uh
6. 0:07do other stuff. Okay. So, Phoenix
7. 0:08Challenge, this is cool. I like the
8. 0:10colors. Designed to help you think just
9. 0:12a little bit differently. Okay.
10. 0:14Um
11. 0:14three tasks, six calls, nine days. Okay.
12. 0:17I'm not entirely sure what this is yet.
13. 0:20To be clear. So, I'm just giving you my
14. 0:22my fresh like no idea, haven't seen this
15. 0:24before perspective. Okay. Challenge
16. 0:27feedback. I decided to join on a whim.
17. 0:29Okay. Community of Great Spark Creators.
18. 0:31Okay, so this is about creators. So,
19. 0:32this is the first time that I know this
20. 0:33is about creators is in the in the sub
21. 0:36this little sub bullet here. I didn't
22. 0:37know this. Okay.
23. 0:39Um
24. 0:40So, you create okay, find myself pushing
25. 0:41boundaries. I'm really looking deep.
26. 0:42Okay, loosely speaking, I'm not
27. 0:43exaggerating. I'm not sure if I'm going
28. 0:44to do the work. Follow it up. I'll be
29. 0:45right along. Wait, cheering you on.
30. 0:46Okay, okay, okay, forget it. Okay, fine.
31. 0:48Uh I'm guessing this is some sort of I
32. 0:49don't know what this is. Presentation
33. 0:50probably.
34. 0:52Um okay.
35. 0:53Okay. If you're going to do these,
36. 0:54highlight. Got it cuz I'm I'm probably
37. 0:56not going to read this whole thing. So,
38. 0:58highlight the parts that you want me to
39. 1:00to you really want me to emphasize.
40. 1:05Look inside.
41. 1:06Okay.
42. 1:07Um
43. 1:09Okay. This is I I would probably show
44. 1:10some of the responses, but this is this
45. 1:12is Does this make me want to buy? This
46. 1:14is always my like Does this increase the
47. 1:16likelihood that I'm going to buy? I
48. 1:17think this is compelling cuz I actually
49. 1:19got to find out what this was about. So,
50. 1:21until until I got to hear what said
51. 1:23uh community to inspire creators, I was
52. 1:25like, "Okay, this is for creators." So,
53. 1:28looking to change their outer reality
54. 1:29going with inner Are you ready to do the
55. 1:30work? Okay. Um
56. 1:33Okay. Da da da. Okay, Soul Sanctuary
57. 1:35Community Mission to change their outer
58. 1:36reality. Okay, maybe this isn't for
59. 1:38creators. Okay. Um
60. 1:41Your self-doubt, insecurities, your fire
61. 1:43is power. Okay. Okay, journey. This
62. 1:47community is for those who are inner
63. 1:49work, ready to heal.
64. 1:51Okay, shadow exploration, useful
65. 1:53prompts, inner child, attachment
66. 1:54theories.
67. 1:56Okay.
68. 1:57Okay.
69. 1:58So,
70. 2:00zooming out,
71. 2:02I like the colors.
72. 2:03I like that it's bright. I think the
73. 2:05design stuff's cool. So, that's my
74. 2:07that's my plus column.
75. 2:09My con column is that I'm actually still
76. 2:12like it took me a minute to figure out
77. 2:14and the way that I went through it, to
78. 2:16be clear, like if you guys are watching
79. 2:18what I'm doing, I probably simulate what
80. 2:20a normal user would do.
81. 2:23Like I didn't look at like think about
82. 2:24this. I'm not
83. 2:26I I didn't look at the copy and I looked
84. 2:28at all the tiles first and then I went
85. 2:30to the copy. And so, if you're thinking
86. 2:32about order of importance, like again,
87. 2:34if you need to get it done, get it done.
88. 2:36Get it out. Fine.
89. 2:38We're talking about optimization.
90. 2:39Those tiles, like if I had to pick, I'd
91. 2:41rather have someone have six tiles and
92. 2:43no words
93. 2:44besides like go go click the link and
94. 2:46join, right? Or click the button and
95. 2:48join,
96. 2:49um than all words and no tiles.
97. 2:52Okay, so big picture. That's I would
98. 2:53prefer that if I had to pick between the
99. 2:55two. Um I would I'd want to be much like
100. 2:59So, take this the way I mean it now cuz
101. 3:01I see you're not on here.
102. 3:03There's a lot of There's a lot of fluffy
103. 3:06language.
104. 3:07So, I would want to boil this down to
105. 3:09like what do I get? All right? So, I
106. 3:13know in the beginning here you say three
107. 3:14tasks, six calls, nine days. I like that
108. 3:16concision. I just didn't really know
109. 3:18what like what the promise was.
110. 3:21And so, if I'm looking through this from
111. 3:23promise
112. 3:24path or promise plan uh proof,
113. 3:28I right now think it's lacking kind of
114. 3:31all three.
115. 3:32And so, the good news is if you have
116. 3:35members right now who are on here, then
117. 3:37you're already succeeding despite having
118. 3:39all this stuff. So, like again, just for
119. 3:41everyone, this is about making it
120. 3:42better. This isn't saying that anyone's
121. 3:44good or bad. All right? This is like can
122. 3:45we make it better? And this is one man's
123. 3:47perspective on how I would how I would
124. 3:48approach it. So, promise, I would start
125. 3:51with that first one. So, it says
126. 3:52designed to help you think a little bit
127. 3:53differently. So, I would I would
128. 3:55probably want to crispen that
129. 3:58and just say like
130. 4:00like to use the what we've been talking
131. 4:01about at schools like what the [ __ ] is
132. 4:02the school games? It's like what the
133. 4:04[ __ ] is this is the Phoenix challenge?
134. 4:06Like if you had to explain it to a
135. 4:07toddler and like you couldn't use any
136. 4:09fancy words, a lot of this is jargon
137. 4:11from in inside of your world just being
138. 4:13real with you. A lot of this is probably
139. 4:15I'd say insider lingo and will make it
140. 4:17harder to convert outsiders.
141. 4:19Right?
142. 4:20And so, I would try and play down the
143. 4:22language, remove jargon, and clear
144. 4:25promise slide one, my plan is like what
145. 4:28are the elements? So, you have three
146. 4:29tasks, six calls, nine days, whatever.
147. 4:31So, I'd have each of those tiles is
148. 4:33going to relate to
149. 4:35one of the key parts of the plan, right?
150. 4:38And then proof that the plan works. And
151. 4:41the deliverable, ideally in the proof,
152. 4:43should match the promise that I made at
153. 4:45the beginning. So, if I were using the
154. 4:47porn thing, it's like how to quit porn
155. 4:49forever. And at the end is like, "Dude,
156. 4:51I've been 91 days without porn. I've got
157. 4:53a promotion in my job. My girl's happy
158. 4:56or I just got my first dates again. I'm
159. 4:57getting out there." Like that's the
160. 4:59that's the proof of the promise. Right?
161. 5:02So, just think about it as one it's just
162. 5:03you're you're basically telling a hero's
163. 5:05journey where the person who's reading
164. 5:07is going through the entire journey in
165. 5:08advance. They're going through what it
166. 5:11would look like to first get the
167. 5:12promise, go through the plan, and then
168. 5:14receive the fulfillment of that promise,
169. 5:16which is the proof, but via somebody
170. 5:18else. So, they approximate
171. 5:20or they feel like they get it
172. 5:21vicariously. And that tiny bit of
173. 5:23vicarious promise fulfillment is what
174. 5:26makes them say, "I want it. I'm willing
175. 5:27to buy it. I'm willing to risk my money
176. 5:29in order to live that story out like
177. 5:31that guy did." All right? And so, the
178. 5:33bullets underneath in terms of copy,
179. 5:35we're just saying big headline again,
180. 5:38what's the promise?
181. 5:39Here's the features. This is the plan of
182. 5:41how we're going to get there. And then
183. 5:43the proof you already can relate back.
184. 5:44Again, I don't know what the price point
185. 5:45is or this is free, Fine. Um
186. 5:48well, then I wouldn't put a Calendly
187. 5:49here cuz it's free.
188. 5:50Uh but then you put a PS statement. I'd
189. 5:52still everybody include a PS statement
190. 5:54of who this is for, who this is not for
191. 5:56um as a final sign-off to just attract
192. 5:58the right people and ward away the wrong
193. 5:59ones. So, hopefully Nav, that gave you a
194. 6:01little bit of stuff that you can work
195. 6:03on. Um
196. 6:04let me know if that uh that sucks.