Why I HATE Learning Russian — Transcript

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1. 0:21it is extremely frustrating you see the
2. 0:25other day I was minding my own business
3. 0:26doing my usual language learning routine
4. 0:29when I realized that it would be a great
5. 0:31idea to practice speaking with some
6. 0:33natives so I found a local Russian and I
7. 0:35began to speak with him and all was good
8. 0:37until I made one fatal mistake
9. 0:52it took me a moment to figure out what I
10. 0:54did wrong but when I realized the
11. 0:56mistake I made I in my brand new
12. 0:58Underpants I'll explain the mistake in a
13. 1:01second I was so embarrassed and I was
14. 1:03pissed off so I needed to escape my dark
15. 1:05thoughts I began to daydream of a long
16. 1:08time before I ever spoke Russian way
17. 1:10before I even knew that other languages
18. 1:12existed it was nice back then I had
19. 1:15never even seen a oui before and the
20. 1:17crab looking hadn't even
21. 1:19stalked my nightmares yet so you're
22. 1:21probably wondering what did I do wrong
23. 1:24well you see Russian has something
24. 1:26really cringe called cases which means
25. 1:28that each noun can take up to 12 forms
26. 1:30based on what its role is in a sentence
27. 1:32the word for friend in Russian is
28. 1:34through and these are all of the forms
29. 1:36that the word through can take in
30. 1:38different situations wow there are a ton
31. 1:40of them so when I said
32. 1:42before I said the word friend my only
33. 1:45two functioning brain cells after
34. 1:47learning Danish had to find the right
35. 1:49variant of thrug for the occasion so
36. 1:52friend is droog and it is a lot of drug
37. 1:54and since it's a lot of something we
38. 1:57gotta put droog in the plural genitive
39. 1:59form da and Drug ends
40. 2:03in plural genitive it add of it is
41. 2:10you see my brain cells forgot that the
42. 2:13word through is one of the bajillion
43. 2:15irregular nouns in the language so I
44. 2:17Declan and naded it wrong for some
45. 2:19magical ass rest Putin ass Hocus Pocus
46. 2:22black magic ass reason the word thrug
47. 2:24actually changes to druzier in this
48. 2:27context and this crap happens all the
49. 2:30time as you gotta memorize the dozens or
50. 2:32so forms of every noun and then be able
51. 2:34to pull them out of your hiney on
52. 2:35command
53. 2:37but that's if you can even remember the
54. 2:39base words in the language because
55. 2:41they're all crazy too some words are
56. 2:43shorter than that British woman's term
57. 2:45as Prime Minister of England like if you
58. 2:47put the backwards R and the crab looking
59. 2:49monster together you get the word Yad
60. 2:51which means poison it's just two goofy
61. 2:53ass letters kissing each other and some
62. 2:55words are as long as Continental chicken
63. 2:57fry looking chili like if you grab a
64. 2:59crab and then put 50 random letters
65. 3:01after it you get
66. 3:03which means an attraction like a tourist
67. 3:06site or something it shouldn't be legal
68. 3:07for words to be that law long and I have
69. 3:09a right eye that frequently runs off to
70. 3:11Narnia so half the time I don't know if
71. 3:13I'm hallucinating or just reading
72. 3:15Russian also verbs are entirely broken
73. 3:18in this language the developers should
74. 3:20not have released this language without
75. 3:21Beta Testing the verbs first take the
76. 3:24verb for example which means to speak it
77. 3:27would be chill if they had just left it
78. 3:28at that but the devs added a crap ton of
79. 3:30prefixes you can attach on verbs to make
80. 3:32them mean completely different things
81. 3:34govaritz can change to zagavarits which
82. 3:37means to start speaking it can become
83. 3:39dugavaris which means to finish speaking
84. 3:41ijinach which means to speak kindly
85. 3:44nagavarit which means to say too much
86. 3:46and there's like 10 more the worst part
87. 3:49is that these prefixes aren't even
88. 3:50consistent and they can mean different
89. 3:52things when attached to different verbs
90. 3:54oh another thing to mention is the
91. 3:57stupid incomprehensible illegal cursive
92. 3:59writing system in Russian look at it how
93. 4:02can anyone read that and when you get
94. 4:04into the specifics it gets even crazier
95. 4:06why does the lowercase crab turn into
96. 4:08this it looks like a g in the American
97. 4:10alphabet why does the lowercase t look
98. 4:13like an m and this one just looks
99. 4:15inappropriate it bothers me a lot but
100. 4:17with all that slander being said about
101. 4:19the language nothing beats the amazing
102. 4:21feeling of speaking Russian for a few
103. 4:23minutes without making any mistakes it
104. 4:25feels better than any Earthly pleasure
105. 4:27and although difficult it is not
106. 4:29impossible in summary I love the Russian
107. 4:32language but sometimes it makes me want
108. 4:34to grab a bat and put humongous holes in
109. 4:36my walls and even uninstall luo dingo
110. 4:38thank you for listening to my rant baka