why crushes are a waste of time — Transcript

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1. 0:00hi I might hurt your feelings right now
2. 0:02and uh if I do good um because I don't
3. 0:06want you to waste any more time of your
4. 0:07life having crushes is a waste of your
5. 0:09time having crushes on people is a waste
6. 0:11of your time because I was having a
7. 0:14conversation with my friend the other
8. 0:15day and we were talking about boys as
9. 0:17girls do and and we got to a specific
10. 0:20part of the conversation where she was
11. 0:22talking about oh my God there's this guy
12. 0:24at my college and I think he's really
13. 0:25cute and you know I'd really want to go
14. 0:27on a date with him but like I don't know
15. 0:30if he's interested and I told her I was
16. 0:32like why don't you just walk up to him
17. 0:33the next time you see him and give him
18. 0:34your number she's like no I could never
19. 0:37do that that's so bold like girls aren't
20. 0:39supposed to give their numbers out like
21. 0:40that like I have to wait for him to come
22. 0:42to me and I was like why like [ __ ]
23. 0:45why it's a waste of your time to give
24. 0:49someone so much attention and energy
25. 0:52when you don't know whether it's a
26. 0:53rejection or an acceptance like you
27. 0:55don't know if they're feeling the same
28. 0:57kind of connection on the other side and
29. 0:59it's better to figure out whether it's
30. 1:02actually a connection or a rejection as
31. 1:05soon as possible because and this is the
32. 1:07only piece of advice that my n9th grade
33. 1:09English teacher gave me that I actually
34. 1:10listened to I I did not like my nth
35. 1:13grade English teacher cuz he was the
36. 1:14only person on my entire report card
37. 1:16that gave me a b and I had to take AP
38. 1:19classes AP biology to get my GPA up to a
39. 1:234.0 so that I could graduate with a 4.0
40. 1:25so thanks to him I had to take AP
41. 1:28biology that's not the that's not the
42. 1:30point he told us he said if a romantic
43. 1:33partner tells you no if someone rejects
44. 1:36you if someone breaks up with you thank
45. 1:39them and we were like the [ __ ] you
46. 1:41talking about can we get back to the
47. 1:42Odyssey and he said no no no no no
48. 1:44listen to me right now listen to me when
49. 1:46someone rejects you they break up with
50. 1:49you thank them because they are not
51. 1:51wasting your time stringing you along
52. 1:55they are giving you a clear and concise
53. 1:56answer that they do not want you and hey
54. 1:59guess what it's one in like 8 billion
55. 2:03that's going to be your match why do you
56. 2:05think that the first person you get into
57. 2:06a relationship with is going to be the
58. 2:08one right you're going to experience
59. 2:10rejection and heartbreak and breakups so
60. 2:12when someone says no it means they're
61. 2:15not wasting your time and you're one
62. 2:17step closer to the love of your life and
63. 2:18let me just say that advice applies to
64. 2:21crushes as well because what do you mean
65. 2:23you're going to sit and build up this
66. 2:25idea of this person in your head think
67. 2:27about them all the time have them take
68. 2:29up all of this brain space have them
69. 2:31take up all this energy cuz whether you
70. 2:33believe it or not when you think your
71. 2:35brain burns calories and no this isn't
72. 2:37anything to do with like weight loss or
73. 2:39anything let me look this
74. 2:42up your Baseline caloric n is 20% of
75. 2:45your of your body's total energy which
76. 2:47is rough 300 to 400 calories per day for
77. 2:50the average person it it's 20% of your
78. 2:52body's total energy is used within your
79. 2:55brain so think about how much [ __ ]
80. 2:57energy you're wasting thinking about a
81. 2:59dumb ass boy that doesn't even know you
82. 3:01exist crushes are stupid they are and
83. 3:04I've fallen victim to them again and
84. 3:06again and again and again crushes are
85. 3:08stupid and we've really over complicated
86. 3:10this idea of connection and and and
87. 3:12truly to overcome crushes you have to
88. 3:15overcome your fear of rejection you have
89. 3:17to be okay with people saying no to you
90. 3:19you have to let go of your people
91. 3:20pleasing and your fear of rejection and
92. 3:25that's how it's going to be easier for
93. 3:26you to find the love of your life cuz
94. 3:28think of it this way if you feel
95. 3:29connection with a person whether it's a
96. 3:31friend a random person you meet on the
97. 3:33street someone you meet on a dating app
98. 3:36which by the way dating apps are crap
99. 3:37don't download them just find someone
100. 3:39naturally my God go to places and things
101. 3:42that you like go to clubs go to classes
102. 3:45find people with similar interests to
103. 3:47you and you'll find someone best believe
104. 3:48me there's a billion people on this
105. 3:50planet that you don't have to go on
106. 3:52Tinder and and find some boy who needs
107. 3:55mushrooms to feel empathy you know you
108. 3:57don't need that girl come on but that's
109. 4:00not what I'm trying to say is the second
110. 4:02you feel a connection with a person give
111. 4:05them your number walk up to them start a
112. 4:08conversation say hey I find you
113. 4:10attractive hey I find you cute do you
114. 4:12find me cute do you find me attractive
115. 4:15and if they say yes awesome connection
116. 4:17formed feel it through till the end and
117. 4:20you'll either experience heartbreak on
118. 4:22the end of it which will be okay or
119. 4:25you'll experience the love of your life
120. 4:27and the reason that we're so scared of
121. 4:29just having that conversation that
122. 4:31initial conversation with a crush of
123. 4:33just like hey this is how I'm feeling
124. 4:36I'm going to lay myself out here and
125. 4:38just how are you feeling about me as a
126. 4:40person like just tell me your feelings
127. 4:42is two reasons one we fear rejection
128. 4:45because we think that them rejecting us
129. 4:49is them saying that we're a bad person
130. 4:52rejection is not them saying that you're
131. 4:55a bad person that you're an undatable
132. 4:57person that you know you're the worst
133. 5:00ugliest most disgusting thing in the
134. 5:02world no it just means that they don't
135. 5:05feel that way towards you you know some
136. 5:07people don't like olives some people
137. 5:11like pickles maybe you're a pickle and
138. 5:14the boy that you're asking out likes
139. 5:15olives cool do you want to date someone
140. 5:18that likes olives when you're a pickle
141. 5:20this is a horrible analogy stay with me
142. 5:22here folks or do you want to be with
143. 5:25someone who loves pickles for who they
144. 5:27are you need to find the person that
145. 5:29wants you you for you and why would you
146. 5:31be with someone who doesn't want you and
147. 5:34our brain just like jumps to these
148. 5:36extremes of if this person rejects me oh
149. 5:39God who am I going to find what's going
150. 5:41to happen like what's going to happen
151. 5:42next cuz we fear abandonment so deeply
152. 5:45that our brain just like vacillates to
153. 5:47the extremes and also when you let
154. 5:50feelings linger for a crush before
155. 5:52having that conversation of hey do you
156. 5:55like me do you not like me you'll build
157. 5:58them up in your head so large that they
158. 6:02become like this Godlike entity this
159. 6:05like incredible person you put them on
160. 6:07the pedestal oh my God I love them so
161. 6:10much they're my everything and it's like
162. 6:12and it's like [ __ ] you don't even know
163. 6:14them you know the version of them that
164. 6:16you've built up in your head but you
165. 6:18don't know who they actually are you're
166. 6:21feeling an initial attraction you're
167. 6:22feeling a connection it's best to ask
168. 6:26just point blank period like hey I'm
169. 6:28feeling something
170. 6:30are you feeling it too you're having a
171. 6:32crush for a reason having a crush is a
172. 6:34feeling the same way that danger is a
173. 6:36feeling and in my experience every
174. 6:39single time I've seen a person have a
175. 6:41crush on a person they have learned a
176. 6:43massive lesson from that person whether
177. 6:46that lesson was rejection whether that
178. 6:48lesson was love the same way that you're
179. 6:50attracted towards a person is the same
180. 6:51way that you have like cravings for food
181. 6:54and there was a study cray cray there
182. 6:57was oh God I'm going to violently
183. 7:00misquote this or the foods We crave our
184. 7:03body knows that we can get S certain
185. 7:05nutrients from these Foods or certain
186. 7:07things from these Foods so it's craving
187. 7:10them specifically because it wants that
188. 7:12thing I think sometimes We crave
189. 7:15specific people because our soul knows
190. 7:17the lesson we're about to go through
191. 7:19when we experience this person which is
192. 7:21why we have a crush on them which is why
193. 7:22we feel attraction which is why we're
194. 7:23drawn towards them and we need to tell
195. 7:26them as soon as possible so that we can
196. 7:27start the ball rolling on whatever
197. 7:29lesson we're meant to feel from this
198. 7:31person and let me just tell you every
199. 7:33Crush I've ever had on a boy all of them
200. 7:36have just taught me the ways in which I
201. 7:38do not want to be loved and I left there
202. 7:41being like okay I don't like this I
203. 7:43didn't like this I liked this I didn't
204. 7:46like this that was my biggest takeaway
205. 7:48from the last couple of guys was just I
206. 7:51I don't like to be treated this way and
207. 7:53like I said I've never had like a
208. 7:55long-term boyfriend or anything like
209. 7:57that it's because these boys in the past
210. 7:59either just absolutely disappeared and
211. 8:01ghosted me or I was just completely
212. 8:03rejected which is awesome and it taught
213. 8:06me a lot and it taught me to move on I
214. 8:08I've watched so many people have so many
215. 8:10crushes on people and the second I'm
216. 8:12like why don't you just go [ __ ] tell
217. 8:14them and and and don't get me wrong I
218. 8:16understand that feeling of just like oh
219. 8:18my God what if they know when a you know
220. 8:20that feeling but just [ __ ] do it just
221. 8:23[ __ ] say it because you're wasting
222. 8:26your time that you could be spending in
223. 8:28love with either them or with someone
224. 8:31else you need to hear that yes or that
225. 8:33no so you can move on or so you can
226. 8:35start that connection but you need to
227. 8:37open the door you need to open the door
228. 8:39and tell them how you feel and have that
229. 8:41courage and also if you don't have the
230. 8:43courage to say how you feel to that
231. 8:45person how the hell are you going to
232. 8:48have the courage to be in a relationship
233. 8:50with them that's my take on it because
234. 8:53relationships are hard work I know I've
235. 8:55never been in a relationship but I know
236. 8:56that they're hard work I know that there
237. 8:58is a [ __ ] ton of communication and
238. 9:02compromise and decisions that have to go
239. 9:05on within it that if you don't even have
240. 9:07the courage to say hey I have a crush on
241. 9:09you why the [ __ ] do you want to be in a
242. 9:11relationship with that person I'm just
243. 9:13saying the people you love should also
244. 9:14give you courage and if you don't feel
245. 9:16courageous in the face of telling them
246. 9:17how you feel then maybe they're not the
247. 9:19one maybe they're just someone that you
248. 9:21find pretty but you don't want a
249. 9:22relationship with but either way it's
250. 9:25always better to just open that door as
251. 9:26soon as possible in my opinion I don't
252. 9:29care if you're I I don't care who you
253. 9:32are just [ __ ] say it cuz for all you
254. 9:35know you're robbing yourself of the love
255. 9:36of your life just cuz you're sitting
256. 9:38there ruminating and being like Oh my
257. 9:39God will they say yes or will they
258. 9:41reject me just [ __ ] say it just
259. 9:43[ __ ] do it what the worst that could
260. 9:45happen they say no a move on then anyway
261. 9:49that's my two cents having crushes are
262. 9:51waste of time you have better things to
263. 9:54do girl boss I love you