"Why Am I Stuck Like Everyone Else?" — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00Cuz you can beat 99% of people without
2. 0:02being smarter or luckier, but by being
3. 0:04willing to endure pain and uncertainty
4. 0:07for longer. It's hard for you, it's hard
5. 0:09for everyone else. And most people avoid
6. 0:11hard things, which is why you can beat
7. 0:13most people by just trying and
8. 0:16continuing to try. And the main thing is
9. 0:18is that I think most people don't even
10. 0:21know what trying feels like. Leila and I
11. 0:23have been going through this season, so
12. 0:25it hasn't just been me. And she had a
13. 0:27mentor say something to her that she
14. 0:29told me and I really liked it. She said,
15. 0:31"Hey, you know, we had this difficult
16. 0:32situation and you know, we're kind of
17. 0:34relegated to, you know, this option or
18. 0:37this option and neither of the options
19. 0:38were particularly good."
20. 0:40And she said to Leila, "Are you settling
21. 0:44or are you moving mountains?" And I
22. 0:46really like that.
23. 0:48Because like whenever I'm looking at
24. 0:50these choices that I feel like sometimes
25. 0:52feel bad, I'm like, "Is there another
26. 0:54option that I could see if I move the
27. 0:56mountain?" And
28. 0:58that has just dramatically increased the
29. 1:02willingness to work, to to really try. I
30. 1:06keep thinking to myself like, "Okay,
31. 1:07well, if I was going to get killed or
32. 1:10Leila was going to get killed or people
33. 1:11I cared about were going to die if I
34. 1:12didn't come up with another solution or
35. 1:14if I made the thing that I wanted to
36. 1:15have happen happen, what other things
37. 1:17would I do?" And usually it's a lot
38. 1:19more. Whatever way you have to unlock
39. 1:22that level of trying, that level of
40. 1:24effort, like most things are hilariously
41. 1:27easy to do. It's just more easy. It's
42. 1:29easier to just do nothing. Most people
43. 1:31do nothing and get nothing and are
44. 1:33dissatisfied because their expectations
45. 1:35that they would get something for that
46. 1:36nothing of work. What's crazy is that
47. 1:39the highest levels of effort are so rare
48. 1:41amongst people
49. 1:43that you can unlock most things in the
50. 1:45universe with it
51. 1:47by just really trying like your life
52. 1:48depends on it. Because it does. Most of
53. 1:51the time we know what we're supposed to
54. 1:53do.
55. 1:54We just have trouble doing it. Like you
56. 1:57know what you need to do to get a
57. 1:58six-pack. You know what you need to do
58. 2:00to build muscle. People already know
59. 2:02this. Like you don't need to know
60. 2:03anything about training to do that. You
61. 2:05just stop eating crap, maybe eat some
62. 2:08protein, and add more weight to the bar
63. 2:09over an extended period of time. That's
64. 2:11it. That's all it is. You know that
65. 2:14already.
66. 2:15And yet you haven't begun because you
67. 2:17haven't really tried. Like it's
68. 2:19hilarious to me. It's It's It's
69. 2:20apparently rarer to have a six-pack
70. 2:23above age like 30 than it is to be a
71. 2:25millionaire. Like think about how crazy
72. 2:26it is. And don't cite the sources. I
73. 2:28heard that and I believe it.
74. 2:30>> [laughter]
75. 2:30>> Whatever. 9% of Americans have a net net
76. 2:32worth over a million dollars.
77. 2:33Surprising, right?
78. 2:359% of Americans certainly don't have a
79. 2:36six-pack. It's rarer to have a six-pack
80. 2:39than be a millionaire.
81. 2:41I just I think about that. It's like we
82. 2:43know what to do. It's just we're not
83. 2:45willing to endure what it's required to
84. 2:47get it. And we're not willing to reframe
85. 2:49that pain as the price of the thing we
86. 2:51want. And to give our pain meaning.
87. 2:53Fortunately or unfortunately, you know,
88. 2:55humans, we live in a competitive
89. 2:56environment. We seek status because of,
90. 2:58you know, evolutionary backdrops. And
91. 3:01so, how do you beat other people? And I
92. 3:03want to be clear. I don't really think
93. 3:04you need to beat anybody, right? If you
94. 3:06just beat you every day, you'll beat
95. 3:07everybody to by default. And I think
96. 3:09that you'll get to the end of the race
97. 3:10and realize no one else is really racing
98. 3:12anyways. But the main main is that you
99. 3:15need to get out of I had an actual
100. 3:17conversation with somebody on my team
101. 3:18this morning. They're saying they want
102. 3:19to do this training
103. 3:21um for the department that they're in,
104. 3:22and they wanted to talk about running on
105. 3:24clean energy versus dark energy. I was
106. 3:26like, "What does that mean?" He's like,
107. 3:27"You know, clean energy is like you're
108. 3:28going towards something. Dark energy is
109. 3:30like you're running away from
110. 3:31something." And I thought,
111. 3:33I think that's a really good and noble
112. 3:34idea. The problem is no one's going to
113. 3:37know what to do with that. Because what
114. 3:38it really meant was, "If you guys do
115. 3:40your jobs using quote clean energy or
116. 3:43knowing when to use quote dark energy,
117. 3:44you will be more effective." Okay, fine.
118. 3:47Now we have conditions for a behavior. I
119. 3:50asked him, I said, "If you want this
120. 3:51training to be significantly more
121. 3:52effective, then you need to do two
122. 3:53things. Number one is define what having
123. 3:56clean energy looks like. How do I
124. 3:57observe someone who has clean energy?
125. 3:58What do they do? Do they talk
126. 3:59differently? Do they ask different
127. 4:00questions? Do they have a different
128. 4:01cadence? And to the same degree, you
129. 4:03know, having dark energy, does that mean
130. 4:04you ask more times? You You push back
131. 4:06more often? Let's define this in terms
132. 4:07of behavior." And then what we'll
133. 4:09probably find is that there's no such
134. 4:10thing as clean or dark energy. There's
135. 4:11only behaviors that under certain
136. 4:13conditions increase the likelihood of a
137. 4:14positive outcome or a desired outcome.
138. 4:16"Okay, in these conditions, do this, and
139. 4:19in other conditions, do that." And so
140. 4:21then we can get away from these
141. 4:22amorphous terms. And the reason I'm
142. 4:23bringing this up is that we have to
143. 4:25define everything in terms of actions
144. 4:27that you're going to take.