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Where It All Started: The Idea Chris Watts Had That Led to Murder — Transcript

by Secret in the Dark · 3,227 words · 496 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:02probably June 1st or something, that's
0:04when I first met her. Took on my phone
0:05and showed her picture like my girls on
0:08the phone. I was like, "Oh, okay." Like,
0:10"Yeah, like you know." And u we just
0:12kept shredding the stories back and
0:13forth about what we did and everything.
0:14And then one day it just kind of went to
0:17a different different level. And then I
0:21never thought I would ever go to that
0:22level. And uh we met up after after we
0:26got from we got back. And um
0:28>> how did you guys meet up?
0:29>> Uh at a work in uh Thoron at Thor
0:34somewhere. Um and after that we just
0:38kept seeing each other.
0:40>> What did she know about you? Did she
0:41know you were married at first?
0:43>> She did once I showed her the pictures.
0:45Yeah. On the phone. Yeah. Like you know
0:46the home screen.
0:48So
0:48>> So was your wife in that picture or was
0:50it just your phone?
0:51>> It was just my girls right there, but my
0:52wife was the like the lock screen.
0:54>> Oh.
0:55>> So she knew I was married. our kids.
0:57Okay. Can I ask kind of a tough
0:59question?
0:59>> Yeah.
1:00>> Um, did you love her?
1:02>> I felt like it was true.
1:04>> Yeah.
1:05>> So, when Nikki, was it different?
1:07>> It just seemed like I was more in
1:10control. It seemed like that never
1:12happened. Like she actually like asked
1:14me like like my opinion on a lot of
1:16things was like what I wanted to do and
1:18just kind of like Okay.
1:21>> That was new, wasn't it?
1:22>> Very new.
1:23>> It's fascinating to me. And so did it
1:26feel more like an equal partnership or
1:29it seemed like it. Yeah. Okay.
1:32>> Do you wish you could talk to her?
1:34>> Maybe once just to
1:35>> just get some closure.
1:36>> Just to say like hey, you know,
1:39just once.
1:41>> Yeah.
1:42>> Say like, "I'm sorry this all happened.
1:44I'm sorry. I'm not sure like what
1:45happened like afterwards." Like what you
1:47went through. Like if you had like
1:49counseling, if you're like, you know,
1:51different state, if you had to leave
1:53everything behind. I just wanted to let
1:54you know I'm sorry and that something I
1:57never saw happening or happening
1:59somebody else could do.
2:01>> You'd be all right if we told her that.
2:04>> That's fine. If you want us to, you must
2:06not have to. And if she would want you
2:09to get this, I'm not sure if I'm sure
2:12she'd answer your phone call more than
2:14the attorney phone call that she doesn't
2:16want to go answer.
2:17>> Yeah.
2:18>> Oh, so your attorney tried to call her
2:20and she wouldn't answer.
2:21>> Yeah. There I remember. phone number,
2:24phone number.
2:25>> Every crime begins with a thought, not
2:27an outburst, not a sudden rage, but a
2:31quiet idea that grows in the shadows.
2:34For Chris Watts, that idea began long
2:37before his name became infamous. It
2:40began in the silence of his own
2:42dissatisfaction,
2:44a silence that no one around him truly
2:46heard. On the surface, he was the doting
2:49father, the mildmannered husband, the
2:52man who smiled in family photos. But
2:55beneath that smile lived something
2:57darker, a hunger to be someone else,
3:00somewhere else, with someone new. Chris
3:03had always been the quiet one. Friends
3:06from his youth described him as
3:08reserved, almost invisible. He wasn't
3:11the type to stand out in a room, and in
3:13many ways, he preferred it that way. But
3:16when he met Shaun in, she was his
3:18opposite. Bold, outspoken, full of
3:22energy. She spoke where he remained
3:24silent. She directed where he followed.
3:27Together, they built a life that looked
3:30enviable on social media. Two daughters,
3:33a house in the Colorado suburbs, family
3:36trips, and smiles on Facebook live
3:39streams. But like so many curated
3:41images, the reality beneath was far from
3:44perfect. By 2018, cracks had begun to
3:48spread through that picture perfect
3:50marriage. Financial troubles pressed in
3:53like a constant weight. Debts piling up,
3:56bills late, the pressure of living
3:58beyond their means. Shannan's health
4:01battles, including her struggles with
4:04lupus and a complicated pregnancy, added
4:07strain to a relationship already gasping
4:10for air. And in those moments when Shaun
4:13and demanded more affection, more
4:15communication, more effort from her
4:18husband, Chris retreated further inward.
4:21He became quieter, detached, his
4:24distance widening into an emotional
4:26canyon. And then came the moment that
4:28changed everything. It didn't happen in
4:31a dramatic scene or under a spotlight of
4:34suspicion. It began in the ordinary at
4:37his workplace, Anadarko Petroleum.
4:40That's where Chris met Nicl Kessinger, a
4:43safety contractor who crossed his path
4:45in the summer of 2018. She was
4:48intelligent, independent, and curious
4:51about him. Unlike Shaunen, she didn't
4:54see Chris as the man who failed to meet
4:56her expectations. She saw him as
4:59desirable, as someone worth pursuing.
5:02That first smile, that first
5:04conversation, it was small, almost
5:07forgettable. But for Chris, it was
5:09oxygen. In psychology, they call it
5:12projection. Taking everything you long
5:15for, everything you believe you lack,
5:18and placing it onto another person.
5:20Nickel became more than a woman. She
5:23became the embodiment of freedom, the
5:26living picture of a life without
5:28financial stress, without marital
5:30arguments, without children tugging at
5:33him every second. She was not just
5:35nickel. She was escape. As the summer
5:38wore on, Chris began to nurture this
5:41idea in silence. He didn't tell Shaunan.
5:44He didn't tell his friends. He just fed
5:47it quietly, piece by piece, moment by
5:50moment, until the idea became something
5:53more, a fantasy. And it is here in this
5:57fragile intersection between reality and
6:00imagination that his deadly thought was
6:03born. Not murder, not yet. Just the
6:07belief that his family stood in the way
6:09of the life he thought he deserved. And
6:12once that idea took hold, Chris Watts
6:14was never the same again. Chris Watts
6:17had lived 33 years without ever stepping
6:20outside the lines of expectation. He was
6:23the quiet boy, the obedient son, the
6:26dependable husband. He had never been
6:29the man who chased danger, never been
6:31the one who burned down bridges to start
6:34new fires. But with Nicl Kessinger,
6:37something shifted. For the first time in
6:39his life, Chris was not invisible. He
6:42was desired. What began as small
6:45conversations at work quickly spilled
6:47into something more personal. By June of
6:502018, their texts turned from casual to
6:54intimate, full of secrets, promises, and
6:58the thrill of forbidden connection. To
7:00Nicl, he presented himself as a man in
7:03transition, a husband on the verge of
7:06divorce, a father preparing to move on
7:09from a marriage that was already over.
7:12He carefully built the image of a man
7:14trapped in circumstance, waiting to be
7:17free. She believed him. She believed she
7:20was meeting Chris at the beginning of
7:22his new life, not in the middle of his
7:24lies. And Chris fed on that belief.
7:27Every message from Nickel became a dose
7:30of validation. Every night they spent
7:32together became proof that he was
7:34wanted, admired, chosen. At home, he was
7:39quiet, detached. The husband who never
7:42measured up to Shenan's expectations.
7:45But with Nicl, he was reborn. He wore
7:48new clothes, worked out harder, felt the
7:51thrill of being attractive again. It
7:54wasn't just an affair. It was an
7:56awakening. Psychologists call this
7:59validation addiction. For someone who
8:01has lived under the shadow of stronger
8:03personalities, even a small taste of
8:06admiration can become intoxicating.
8:09Chris didn't just enjoy Nicholls
8:11attention. He depended on it. The more
8:14she fed his ego, the hungrier he became.
8:17And like any addiction, when reality
8:20threatened to take it away, he would be
8:23willing to risk everything to keep it.
8:26That summer, as Shaunen and the girls
8:28traveled to North Carolina to visit
8:30family, Chris had his first real taste
8:33of freedom. While Shaun and pleaded over
8:36text for him to show affection, he was
8:39spending nights with Nickel, going to
8:41restaurants, checking into hotels,
8:44building memories that belonged to
8:46another man entirely. He was no longer
8:48the suburban father juggling bills and
8:51bedtime routines. He was living the life
8:54of the man he thought he should have
8:56been all along. But with every step into
8:59this fantasy, the gap between his two
9:02lives widened. He was no longer one man.
9:05He was two. To Shaunan, he was distant,
9:08cold, unreachable. To Nicl, he was warm,
9:13attentive, and passionate. And in that
9:15widening space, the first dangerous
9:19illusion took root. The belief that he
9:21could erase one life to fully step into
9:24the other. The double life had begun,
9:27and with it, the idea of escape grew
9:30stronger, sharper, and more deadly. The
9:34deeper Chris sank into his affair, the
9:36more detached he became from the life he
9:38had built with Shaunan. What had once
9:41been a marriage full of laughter,
9:43travel, and shared dreams was now a
9:46hollow routine. Shannan's texts told the
9:49story clearly. Her husband wasn't just
9:52distracted. He was gone. She begged for
9:56affection, for attention, for the man
9:58she had once known. But Chris gave her
10:01little more than silence. In psychology,
10:04this is called emotional withdrawal.
10:06It's the moment when a partner begins to
10:09starve the relationship, not with
10:11shouting or conflict, but with absence.
10:15For Shaunan, this absence was confusing,
10:18even cruel. For Chris, it was
10:20deliberate. Every moment he withheld
10:23from Shaun and he redirected toward
10:26Nicl. And with each passing week, the
10:29fantasy of life with his mistress began
10:31to feel more real than the family
10:34sitting in front of him. The contrast
10:36was striking. With Nicl, Chris was
10:39vibrant, alive. He booked trips, stayed
10:42in hotels, sent affectionate messages,
10:45and shared secret photos. with Shaunan.
10:49He was cold, mechanical, a man going
10:52through the motions of family life. His
10:54phone was filled with pictures of
10:56Nickel. Yet Shenan's attempts at
10:58intimacy were met with empty responses.
11:02It wasn't just neglect. It was the
11:04mental rewriting of his identity. He was
11:07no longer the husband, no longer the
11:09father. He was becoming someone new. But
11:12reality had a way of fighting back. When
11:15Shaunan returned from her trip to North
11:17Carolina, she wasn't just bringing back
11:20their two daughters. She was carrying
11:22news that should have been joyful. She
11:25was pregnant with their third child. For
11:27most families, this would have been a
11:29celebration. But for Chris, it was a
11:32crisis. The pregnancy meant more
11:35responsibility, more ties to the life he
11:38wanted to escape, and another obstacle
11:40between him and the freedom he had begun
11:43to taste. This is where tunnel vision
11:46began to take hold. Psychologists
11:48describe it as the narrowing of
11:50perspective until a person sees only two
11:53options. For Chris, those options were
11:56simple. Remain trapped in the demands of
11:59family life or step fully into the
12:02fantasy with Nickel. Divorce was an
12:04option, but one filled with financial
12:07ruin, custody battles, and exposure of
12:10his affair. To a man already addicted to
12:13validation and desperate for escape,
12:16divorce felt like losing. Murder in his
12:20warped thinking began to look like the
12:22only path forward. The fantasy was no
12:25longer just a dream. It was becoming a
12:28plan. And in his mind, every smile from
12:31Nickel, every night they spent together
12:34pulled him closer to that deadly
12:36decision. By midsummer of 2018, Chris
12:40Watts had already begun to vanish from
12:42his family in every way but physically.
12:46Shannan's messages grew more desperate,
12:49her words heavy with the fear of a wife
12:51who could feel her marriage slipping
12:53through her hands. "What's wrong with
12:56you?" she wrote. "We are supposed to be
12:58in this together." But Chris no longer
13:01answered with love or even with anger.
13:04He answered with distance, short texts,
13:07cold replies, and long silences that
13:10told Shawn and everything she needed to
13:13know. Meanwhile, with Nicl, he was alive
13:17in ways he had never been before. His
13:19phone was filled with her photos, some
13:22innocent, others intimate. He saved
13:25them, stared at them, returned to them
13:27as if they were proof that he could
13:29truly become the man she believed he
13:32was. To Nicl, he was attentive and
13:35affectionate. To Shaunan, he was absent
13:38and hollow. He had already begun living
13:41two separate lives, and the strain of
13:43holding them both was tearing him apart.
13:46In psychology, this is called
13:48disassociation,
13:50the splitting of identity to manage
13:52conflicting realities. Chris was no
13:55longer reconciling the roles of husband
13:58and father with the role of lover and
14:00free man. Instead, he mentally erased
14:04one life so the other could survive.
14:07Shaunen and the children became
14:09obstacles. Shadows blocking the light of
14:12the future he wanted. In his mind, they
14:15were already gone. And then came the
14:18chilling reinforcement evidence that
14:20Nickel 2 was starting to see their
14:23relationship as something more than
14:25casual. Her phone activity revealed
14:28searches like, "Man I'm having an affair
14:31with says he will leave his wife and how
14:34much do people make on selling wedding
14:36rings." To Chris, these weren't just
14:39idol searches. They were signs. They
14:42were encouragement. Proof that she was
14:44waiting for him to step into a new life.
14:47And all he had to do was remove what
14:49stood in the way. This is the point
14:51where the idea became dangerous. It was
14:54no longer just longing for freedom. It
14:57was no longer imagining a different
14:59life. It was strategy, cold, deliberate,
15:03and terrifying in its quietness. Chris
15:06wasn't ranting. He wasn't raging. He was
15:09planning. And that is what makes his
15:11case so chilling. He murdered his family
15:14not in the heat of anger, but in the
15:17cold clarity of decision. By August, the
15:20thought was fully formed. He would not
15:22divorce. He would not fight in court. He
15:25would not risk losing Nicholls
15:27admiration in the chaos of a separation.
15:31No, Chris Watts would do something
15:33final, something irreversible. In his
15:36mind, the only way forward was to erase
15:39his past. And in that silence, the
15:42deadliest thought of all took shape.
15:45August 12th, 2018. It was a quiet Sunday
15:49night in Frederick, Colorado. Shawn and
15:52Watts had just returned from a business
15:54trip, exhausted from travel and the
15:57weight of a difficult pregnancy. She
15:59arrived home close to 2:00 in the
16:01morning, unaware that her husband had
16:04already decided her fate. While she
16:06slept, Chris lay awake beside her, not
16:10as a husband, but as a man who had
16:12already chosen to step into another
16:14life. By this time, his double existence
16:17was unraveling quickly. He was distant
16:20at home, evasive with Shaunan, yet
16:23deeply entangled with Nicl. She wanted
16:26proof he was leaving his marriage. He
16:29wanted her to believe he was the man she
16:31thought he was. The pressure of
16:33maintaining both lives had reached a
16:35breaking point. And in the silence of
16:38that night, Chris resolved to do the
16:40unthinkable. The following morning,
16:43Shaun and the children never made it out
16:46of the house alive.
16:48What happened inside those walls has
16:50been pieced together through Chris's own
16:52confessions, law enforcement
16:54investigation, and the haunting absence
16:57of those who could have told their side
16:58of the story. Shaunan, 15 weeks pregnant
17:02with their third child, was silenced.
17:05Bella, just 4 years old, and Celeste,
17:08only three, followed soon after. Chris
17:12carried out his plan with a coldness
17:14that stunned even seasoned
17:16investigators. But what's most
17:18disturbing is not just the act itself.
17:21It's the psychology behind it. He didn't
17:24kill in a moment of passion, nor in a
17:27sudden burst of anger. He killed with
17:29intention, as if executing a plan long
17:33rehearsed in his mind. To Chris, this
17:35wasn't murder. It was a razor. the
17:38removal of the life that no longer
17:40served the fantasy he had created. In
17:43his warped logic, it was a solution.
17:46Afterward, he moved with chilling
17:48precision. He disposed of Shenan's body
17:51in a shallow grave at a work site, then
17:54placed his daughters in oil tanks
17:56nearby. The man who once posed for
17:59family photos now treated his loved ones
18:02as obstacles, reduced to burdens he
18:04could discard. Later that same day, he
18:07spoke to police, to neighbors, even to
18:10Shenan's friends, pretending to be
18:13concerned. Figning confusion, he asked
18:16for help finding his family. Knowing
18:19full well they would never return. But
18:21beneath the surface of his lies, cracks
18:24appeared quickly. His story shifted. His
18:27body language betrayed him, and
18:29investigators began to press. Within
18:32days, the truth emerged. The quiet
18:35father, the devoted husband, the smiling
18:38man from family videos had annihilated
18:41everything he had sworn to protect. And
18:44it all began with a single idea that his
18:47freedom, his fantasy was worth more than
18:50the lives of his wife and children. That
18:53was the moment the fantasy became
18:55reality. The thought became action and
18:58Chris what's became a killer. Every
19:01murder leaves behind a question. Why? In
19:04the case of Chris Watts, the answer
19:06wasn't found in rage or revenge. It
19:10wasn't in a sudden loss of control. It
19:12was in a thought, small at first, almost
19:15harmless. A thought that whispered he
19:18could have a different life. A life with
19:20freedom, with passion, with validation.
19:24A life without Shaunan, without Bella,
19:27without Celeste, without the burdens he
19:29had grown to resent. That thought once
19:33planted became the root of everything
19:35that followed. Nicl Kessinger never
19:38asked for blood to be spilled. But in
19:41Chris's mind, she was the symbol of
19:43escape. She was the living proof that he
19:46could be someone else somewhere else.
19:49Psychologists call this projection, but
19:51in plain words, she became his fantasy.
19:55And once he tasted that fantasy, the
19:57life he already had seemed unbearable.
20:00His family was no longer flesh and
20:03blood. They were obstacles. Walls
20:06between him and the freedom he craved.
20:08To erase them became, in his mind a
20:12solution. And that is what makes this
20:14case so haunting. Chris did not kill out
20:17of sudden fury. He killed out of
20:19calculation.
20:21He nurtured an idea, fed it with
20:23secrecy, and let it grow unchecked until
20:26it consumed everything. He became the
20:29architect of his own destruction not
20:32because he was possessed, not because he
20:35was powerless, but because he believed
20:37the fantasy mattered more than the
20:40truth. Today, Chris what spins his life
20:42behind prison walls. Nicl Kessinger
20:45vanished into anonymity. Shaunan, Bella,
20:49Celeste, and the unborn baby they called
20:52Nico are gone forever. But what lingers
20:55is not just the crime itself. It's the
20:58reminder that sometimes the deadliest
21:00weapon is not a gun, not a knife, not
21:03even rage. Sometimes the deadliest
21:06weapon is a thought because every crime
21:08begins with an idea. And for Chris
21:11Watts, that idea is where it all
21:13started. Where are you watching from
21:15tonight? Drop your location in the
21:17comments below. We read every single
21:20one. And if stories like this make you
21:23stop and think about the darkness hidden
21:25behind ordinary lives, make sure to like
21:28this video, subscribe, and share it with
21:31someone who needs to hear it. Because
21:33every crime begins with an idea, and
21:36here we uncover the ones that changed
21:39everything.

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