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Whatever triggers you is trying to set you free. — Transcript

by Kinzer Mind and Body · 3,272 words · 541 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:02An emotional trigger acts as a
0:05subconscious block deep in our psyche
0:07and when something triggers us, whether
0:10it be something we're aware of or
0:13something rather deep in our unconscious
0:14that we're not really aware of and we
0:15only become
0:17aware of it through the emotions that we
0:18feel when encountering it.
0:22We can notice that
0:24there's usually a string attached to the
0:27trigger that leads to something in
0:29particular.
0:31So, the first way we'll talk about it is
0:32a thought that triggers you.
0:35So, a thought will trigger you
0:37because obviously you still believe
0:39thoughts hold any sort of value in your
0:41life, any sort of weight. So, if we
0:43still have not tackled the belief system
0:45that we are not our thoughts, we may be
0:48continually sort of bullied by thoughts
0:51in the years to come. Because the only
0:53way out of thoughts is mindfulness. And
0:55mindfulness is the practice of realizing
0:57you are not your thoughts.
1:00So, when a thought triggers you,
1:02emotionally it creates a lot of fear
1:03inside you and it makes you scared,
1:05notice not necessarily what the thought
1:08is telling you, but how that feeling
1:10becomes
1:11sort of clear in your body. Where do you
1:14feel that fear and where do you feel
1:15scared a result of that thought
1:17triggering you?
1:18It's not necessarily that we have to get
1:20rid of that thought, but we have to
1:21learn to sit with and not become bullied
1:25and pushed into a corner by the emotion
1:27of fear. So, that's what a thought can
1:29trigger us into doing. It can trigger us
1:31into acting in a way that is avoidant
1:33and into acting in a way where we're not
1:35experiencing our life the way we really
1:36want to.
1:38And I hold an interesting viewpoint in
1:40this triggering sort of overthinking
1:43relationship, whereas I think each
1:45thought that triggers you into fear,
1:48into an emotional reaction is actually
1:49trying to set you free
1:51and it's trying to set you free to the
1:53idea of that you are not your thoughts.
1:57Because think about it. If you deal with
1:59bad thoughts, if you deal with thoughts
2:00that are irrational and sort of doomsday
2:02fear-inducing,
2:05you are far more likely to question the
2:07nature of your thoughts as a result of
2:09your suffering than someone who doesn't
2:11deal with those thoughts.
2:13So, those thoughts are trying to trigger
2:14you into a sort of freedom. They're
2:16trying to trigger you into a
2:18mindfulness-based freedom.
2:21We can also become triggered by
2:23relatively random things. We could
2:24become triggered by
2:26a commercial due to trauma or due to the
2:29past experiences in our lives. We can be
2:31triggered in relationships. We can be
2:32triggered by what people say.
2:34And the string I'm connecting right now
2:37is an emotional trigger. So, it triggers
2:39an emotion inside of us that we don't
2:41want to feel and maybe it's triggering
2:43an idea of the future that we don't want
2:45to happen. But either way, when the
2:47trigger is pulled either by someone's
2:49words or by seeing something and we're
2:51feeling those emotions again, that
2:53trigger is acting as a sort of point in
2:55which we can be free because it can
2:57trigger us into freedom or it can
2:59trigger us into spiral.
3:01And by what I mean by spiral is sort of
3:02spiraling into overthinking, into
3:05avoidant action, into sort of existing
3:07and
3:08ruminating in our darkness.
3:11If we pay attention,
3:14then we can see that
3:17when we become triggered, so say you're
3:19having a conversation with someone and
3:21you have an idea of the future that
3:24you're really scared of and you don't
3:25want to persist, right? And you've been
3:27working on creating distance from this
3:29fear because you know it's irrational
3:31and you know it's just something that
3:33you have to create distance from it and
3:35not give any life to.
3:37So, you've been practicing this on your
3:39own for quite some time and you're
3:42having a conversation with someone and
3:43then they mention that as I don't know,
3:46maybe off the whim or maybe they make a
3:47joke about it and all of a sudden you
3:49feel that trigger in your body. You feel
3:51that same fear, you feel scared, and you
3:53feel the emotions
3:55sort of existing in your body in a way
3:58in which maybe you haven't felt in a
3:59while.
4:00And this is what a trigger does, right?
4:02Cuz at this very moment you have an
4:03opportunity. You have an opportunity to
4:05acknowledge it as a trigger, as the same
4:07thoughts and ideas of the future that
4:09you've been
4:11creating distance from for so long.
4:15Or
4:16you spiral down and you sort of move
4:18backwards again as a result of that
4:19trigger. You may think, "Oh, this
4:21trigger came to save me." No, the
4:22triggers aren't there to warn you, and
4:24they aren't there to save you. The
4:25triggers aren't synchronicity of bad
4:28things about to happen in your life.
4:29It's actually the opposite. Triggers are
4:31opportunities for us to be free.
4:34Triggers are opportunities for us to be
4:37more desensitized
4:39to those irrational fears and anxieties
4:41that we've had for so long.
4:44When we become triggered emotionally,
4:47that's our mind sort of saying and our
4:49actually it's more our subconscious
4:50saying, "This is somewhere where you are
4:52not free. This is somewhere where you
4:54are limited."
4:56You know, if it came to it, this is what
4:58our mind is sort of communicating with
5:00us is that you can't move through this
5:02barrier due to your own fear and due to
5:05your own ideas surrounding a certain
5:06topic or a certain or a certain anxiety
5:09or a certain fear.
5:10And that's what it's saying. It's
5:12saying, "This is where you are not
5:13free."
5:14So, it's much easier
5:16to move through the feeling of that fear
5:19than trying to work our way all the way
5:21around the circle with our environment
5:22or our relationships trying to mend our
5:25world into not triggering us.
5:27We have to become desensitized to
5:29triggers rather than trying to force the
5:31world to not trigger us.
5:33Because we will become triggered.
5:35Everyone has fears. Everyone has certain
5:37levels and degrees of anxiety.
5:40People have things that trigger
5:42unfortunate and unwanted feelings within
5:44them.
5:46And you can either make the grave
5:47mistake of believing that you could
5:49somehow live your life avoiding these
5:51triggers and avoiding feeling those dark
5:53emotions, or you can realize you have to
5:56create a desensitization
5:58to these fears and to these triggers.
6:00And as a result of being desensitized,
6:03you will create a resilience, a mental
6:04resilience, that will equal your
6:06freedom.
6:07That will equal your peace of mind, your
6:09ability to be happy and joyous without
6:11feeling guilty or without falling back
6:13into those same destructive mental
6:15patterns.
6:16That's what happens. We grow a
6:17resilience to the triggers and we grow a
6:18desensitization to those triggers.
6:21So now, when those triggers come up, we
6:23see them as doorways into being even
6:25more free.
6:29Another aspect and another way you can
6:30sort of look at it is you can say
6:31whatever triggers you also controls you.
6:34And this I'll break down at sort of two
6:37different paradigms. The first one I'll
6:38stay emotionally,
6:40and that is
6:41if a certain fear, if a certain anxiety,
6:44triggers you so much to the point where
6:46it makes you want to hide in your room
6:47and makes you want to turn your back
6:49against the world and not sort of face
6:50those difficult emotions. If something
6:51can trigger you into that, it controls
6:53your life. Because where you may have
6:55taken path one,
6:57now that that anxiety has triggered you,
7:00that fearful thought has triggered you,
7:02now you're going to end up taking path
7:03two.
7:04So now, the path that you chose to walk
7:06is not your choice, it's the choice of
7:08whatever trigger you have encountered.
7:10It's the choice of your trauma, your
7:12anxiety, your fear.
7:13And this is the grave mistake we
7:15definitely can't make. We cannot let
7:17fear and anxiety or trauma make any
7:19decisions for us. Because when we allow
7:21our choices to be tainted by those
7:23things,
7:24then our life be- becomes
7:26pushed in a certain direction that we
7:28don't want it to go.
7:31It's sort of
7:32starts to encapsulate some sort of
7:34unconscious karmic system path. And when
7:37I say karma, I don't mean karma in the
7:39way of
7:41we've done bad things and bad things are
7:42going to happen to us. I don't mean that
7:43at all. What I mean by karma is a sort
7:45of different definition. I mean
7:48the sort of generational trauma and the
7:50unconscious path that happens as a
7:52result of not facing those difficult
7:53emotions.
7:55You know, the sort of destiny that was
7:57put in place when you were born and that
7:59destiny may only exist if you don't face
8:02those traumas, you don't face that
8:03anxiety, you don't face any of the
8:05negative and fearful thoughts.
8:07That's what happens. We live an
8:08unconscious sort of
8:10path
8:11that the end destination is going to be
8:14something we avoided our way to instead
8:16of climbed our way to or seeked our way
8:19to or created our way through.
8:23The next way we can become triggered is
8:25obviously
8:26the more common
8:28version of trigger, right? Someone says
8:29something and it makes you angry.
8:32And I think it's very important to
8:34realize cuz this is what a lot of people
8:35struggle with in terms of emotional
8:37regulation and being more centered and
8:39more at peace is that just because
8:41someone says something or just because
8:43you see something doesn't mean it's
8:45worth an emotional investment.
8:48You know, your degree of happiness and
8:49your degree of satisfaction and peace in
8:51in life
8:52is often a result of how much you are
8:55able to withstand emotionally investing
8:56in things that don't really matter.
8:59So, if someone comments something mean
9:01on social media to you,
9:03you have two choices. You can let it
9:05ruin your day, you can let it affect
9:07you, or you can realize
9:09this is really minor
9:12in the grand scheme of things. Does this
9:13really matter? Does this really mean
9:16anything to me at all?
9:19And what happens is when you start to
9:20grow that sort of tolerance as well to
9:22not engaging in sort of, you know,
9:24ridiculous and petty arguments or
9:26negative comments or whatever else,
9:28you also grow another desensitization.
9:32And that is
9:33you grow
9:35a certain tolerance and resilience to
9:36life itself.
9:38What happens when people feel out of
9:40control in their lives is because
9:42they're emotionally investing in so many
9:44different things.
9:46That one comment sends them down a fit
9:48of anger and rage that they can't get
9:50over for 1 or 2 days. That one difficult
9:52conversation
9:53makes them unwaveringly
9:56angry and upset for a week. You know,
9:58you guys understand what I'm trying to
10:00say.
10:01You can't emotionally invest in
10:02everything. And rather, you should
10:04emotionally invest in your peace of
10:06mind.
10:07That is far more important.
10:10Because truly arguing and becoming
10:12triggered by something in a reactive
10:13way, it pretty much solves nothing 97%
10:17of the time probably.
10:18Solves nothing.
10:20It may lead to an argument. It may lead
10:22to blowing off some steam. But if we
10:24really want to take control of our
10:25lives, we control the emotional energy
10:27and attention that we're putting into
10:29different things.
10:31People wonder why they don't have any
10:32direction in their lives, and then
10:34they're putting all of their energy, all
10:37of their emotional direction and
10:39attention into a million different
10:41things throughout their day.
10:43When people create something of
10:44themselves, when people create something
10:46great in this world, it's because they
10:48harness that emotional energy and they
10:50focused it on a singular thing.
10:52Obviously, there's other things that
10:53need your emotional investment,
10:54relationships, family dynamics, friends,
10:56whatever it may be. You know, your
10:58purpose, your job, it doesn't matter.
11:01The whole point is that we're bringing
11:02awareness and a conscious mindset into
11:05our life.
11:06We are choosing where to put our
11:08emotional energy. And just because
11:10something triggers us and makes us
11:12upset, doesn't mean now that we have to
11:14become involved in that thing.
11:18There's probably countless people who
11:19scroll through social media, and their
11:21entire feed is filled with things that
11:23trigger them into feeling angry, sad,
11:24and upset because that's the things they
11:26keep interacting with.
11:28Every time they see a social media post
11:29that makes them angry or upset, they go
11:31to the comments, and they start arguing
11:32with people in the comments.
11:35And then I'd be willing to bet these
11:36people are also the same that wonder why
11:38their life is lacking and why they don't
11:41feel a sense of direction.
11:43It's because they don't know where
11:44they're placing their energy in.
11:46They're spending all of their sort of
11:48energetic currency into useless
11:51little tangents that exist all over.
11:55So, they're placing their emotional
11:56energy in a hundred different things
11:57instead of placing them in five to ten
11:59really good areas that they want to see
12:00prosper.
12:04In the same way,
12:06for example, a social media algorithm
12:07can control you as well. Because if a
12:09social media algorithm knows how to
12:11trigger you, then they know how to get
12:13you to engage with their content. They
12:14They know how to get you to stay on the
12:15platform for longer. This is the same
12:17way reality works, as well.
12:20You don't realize it, but when you're
12:21constantly looking when you're
12:23constantly in a sort of state of
12:25upsetness, whether it's because of
12:27what's happening in the world, you know,
12:28we're we're not meant to ignore what's
12:30happening in the world, but we also have
12:31to be relatively
12:33reasonable in seeing that our anger
12:36isn't inherently going to solve
12:37anything, and that we'd be put to better
12:40use emotionally or regulating ourselves
12:42and then making certain choices whether
12:44we want to help a certain cause or
12:46whatever it may be.
12:47Being angry and being in a disruptive
12:49emotional state, always looking for an
12:50argument and always existing in a
12:52reactive
12:53state of being, that doesn't solve
12:55anything. It doesn't solve anything for
12:57anyone, and it doesn't solve anything
12:58for you, either.
13:02You need to
13:03learn that reality and social media in
13:07that way are very similar.
13:10The stuff that you react with on social
13:11media and that way that it's pushed
13:13towards you is the same way we see
13:15things in reality, not because that's
13:17inherently how reality works, though it
13:19might be, but rather our unconscious is
13:21looking for these sort of patterns.
13:23We're always looking for patterns. We're
13:24always noticing patterns, sometimes
13:26consciously, but most of the time
13:28unconsciously.
13:29So, if we're unconsciously always
13:31looking for an argument, we're always
13:32looking to get into some sort of
13:35screaming match because we see so many
13:38things that are wrong in the world
13:39because of social media, then we're
13:40going to go through our everyday life
13:42carrying this reactive anger that we've
13:44seen on social media, and we're going to
13:46take that into our life. So, now our
13:49resilience and our desensitivity to
13:51triggers is very, very low.
13:53So, now one person can say any little
13:55thing that you don't necessarily like or
13:56agree with, and all of a sudden your day
13:58is ruined.
14:00But, is this any way to live?
14:02Is this truly any way to live our lives?
14:05To me, it doesn't really make much
14:06sense.
14:08Because any positive thing that you
14:09could do in this world
14:12would greatly benefit from you being
14:13emotionally regulated and a bit more
14:15stoic.
14:19The work that you do doesn't benefit
14:21from you painting anger onto it.
14:24You know, when an artist
14:26transmutes their anger into something
14:28beautiful,
14:29they also have to learn to detach from
14:31that anger. And if they were to have
14:34fueled that anger in the form of an
14:36argument or a conversation or a social
14:38media comment battle, then they would
14:40have not had that same fuel to create
14:43art with.
14:44So, it's not about negating the fact
14:46that we are triggered. It's not about
14:49suppressing our anger or our emotions.
14:51It's about realizing that those emotions
14:53don't need to be the leading factor from
14:56which we make our decisions in life.
14:58Because if we're always acting and
14:59deciding things
15:01emotionally, then those triggers
15:03completely control us.
15:05That social media algorithm completely
15:07controls us. That person that knows how
15:09to get under our skin completely
15:10controls us.
15:11And again, this is how you lose
15:13direction of your life again.
15:16This is how you fall back into the
15:17unconscious path.
15:20Because you're lacking the awareness to
15:22see that not worth an argument. It's not
15:24worth a reaction.
15:26It's not worth it.
15:29When you encounter a trigger,
15:32see it as an actual trigger. Like for
15:35example, triggering a light switch.
15:38So, these triggers act as launching pads
15:41to a more free and a more peaceful mind.
15:44Or they can launch pad you the other
15:46way. They can launch pad you downwards
15:48if you let them.
15:51So, if we're triggered into feeling
15:52fear, if we're triggered into feeling
15:53anxiety, and we act as a result of that
15:56trigger, we act in a way that is very
15:58avoidant, and we act in a certain
15:59direction because of that anxiety and
16:01fear, we allow it to make our the
16:03choices in our life, then we're going to
16:04become launch padded down into that same
16:06unconscious path again.
16:08And I know I'm mentioning the
16:09unconscious path a lot, but it's worth
16:11mentioning because it's very easy and
16:14simple to not fall into that unconscious
16:16path, but the actual act of breaking
16:18through and being brave enough to sit
16:20with that discomfort is difficult.
16:23But it's extremely necessary.
16:26Because the other side of the coin is
16:27something very
16:29unrewarding and very unsatisfactory that
16:32we're going to feel in our lives.
16:36So, the real choice to make is
16:39to remain calm, remain balanced,
16:42and acknowledge the emotion that we were
16:44triggered into feeling without letting
16:46it make our choices for us going
16:47forward.
16:49And this is also a way to show to our
16:51minds
16:53that we are growing and that we are
16:54evolved past this certain trigger, this
16:56certain fear, this certain anxiety.
16:58In the same way
17:00of the second example I gave, it works
17:01the same way with anger, it works the
17:02same way with resentment, or jealousy,
17:04or guilt, or any negative emotion.
17:07Just because you're triggered into
17:08feeling it doesn't mean you were meant
17:11to exist in that state for the day, or
17:13for the week, or whatever else. Just
17:15because it comes up doesn't mean now
17:17it's a whole thing.
17:19Just because the emotion is there and
17:20just because it exists, doesn't mean we
17:22have to surrender ourselves to it.
17:24We can exist in a calm state of being.
17:26We can notice it, we can observe it, and
17:28we can let it pass as a result of our
17:30inaction and our non-reactiveness
17:32towards it. And this goes for people who
17:35trigger us or content that triggers us,
17:37but most of all, this goes for our inner
17:39world where our own thoughts and our own
17:41sort of anxieties and fears are
17:42triggering us.
17:44They too will pass if we just let them.
17:48I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If
17:50you're listening on Spotify, thank you.
17:51If you're watching on YouTube, make sure
17:53to like and subscribe as always, and I
17:55will catch you guys in the next one.
17:57Peace.

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