WHAT IS SOCIAL AWARENESS - Emotional Intelligence Masterclass Chapter 7 — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:23If self-awareness is about looking inward,  social awareness is about looking outward
2. 0:28using your self-awareness skill sets. Social  awareness is your ability to accurately pick on
3. 0:34the emotions in other people and understand what  is really going on with them. This often means
4. 0:40perceiving what other people are thinking  and feeling even if you don't reciprocate
5. 0:46the same feeling with other people. When you  are in an emotionally escalated situation,
6. 0:52very often it's easy to get caught up in your own  emotions and forget to consider the perspectives
7. 0:57of other people. When we lack social awareness we  become more emotionally blind and emotionally deaf
8. 1:04to what others are feeling. We ignore the emotions  of other people and along with that we ignore
9. 1:10their pressing concerns and demands and needs that  are behind their emotions. So when we lack these
10. 1:16skills we become more self-centered. We become  selfish, toxically narcissistic, lacking empathy,
11. 1:23highly opinionated and socially disconnected  and unapproachable to people. To become socially
12. 1:31aware, we need to quiet down the chatter in our  own mind, stop talking and start listening and
13. 1:39paying attention to what others feel. You need to  see other's point of view. And it is by listening,
14. 1:46noticing, observing and practicing empathy  we can collect more information about what's
15. 1:53going on around us. And that means a lot for  social awareness skill. To deepen our skills,
16. 2:00we need to understand the different dynamics of  social awareness. So let me talk about three of
17. 2:06them here. Different dynamics of social awareness.  There are different dynamics to social awareness.
18. 2:13One is having an understanding about others  emotions. Two is empathy. And three is social
19. 2:20intuition. Now let's look at how we can  develop social awareness using these as tools.
20. 2:28Understanding other's emotion. You see we  have the ability to understand emotions,
21. 2:34needs and concerns of other people. We are  actually gifted- naturally gifted in this area. We
22. 2:42are biologically wired to feel what others feel,  except in the case of sociopaths or psychopaths.
23. 2:49Scientists and neurologists acknowledge there is  an existence of 'mirror neurons' in our brain,
24. 2:54which allows us to understand other people's  actions, intentions and feelings. And as
25. 3:00it turns out, our mirror neurons fire when we  experience an emotion. And similarly when we see
26. 3:07others experiencing an emotion such as happiness,  fear, anger or sadness. That's why you can cry at
27. 3:16movies, laugh with your friends, feel compassion  to the needy ones and to feel that rage
28. 3:22whenever somebody is going through injustice  and so on. The easiest way to understand
29. 3:30what others think and feel is to listen to  them when we engage in non-judgmental active
30. 3:37and reflective listening. To better understand  what others are trying to communicate and why or
31. 3:42when we see others point of view we are mindfully  engaging with other people's state of mind.
32. 3:49We can pick the emotional cues of what others  are going through with what they say and express
33. 3:55both verbally and non-verbally. Just as your own  emotions provide a ton of information to other
34. 4:02people, the emotional expressions of those around  you also give you a wealth of social information.
35. 4:10This makes transparent two-way communication  possible, causes one to confide trust in others,
36. 4:16and build relationship with ease. This makes us  very sociable. The question is to what degree
37. 4:23we are socially aware? The self-reflective  question to ask is, first of all,
38. 4:28do people approach you with their concern? Are  you an approachable person? Do you show warmth to
39. 4:35people? Do strangers feel comfortable to talk to  you? Are you a good listener? Can you understand
40. 4:42what others feel? Are you an observant of how  others feel, because of your words and deeds?
41. 4:49Do you observe the consequences of your behaviour  on other people? And the more you engage in
42. 4:56self-reflection, you will discover more about your  social awareness in terms of understanding what
43. 5:02others feel and why they feel in that way. Try to  measure your social awareness and if you think you
44. 5:09lack them, work on those areas to improve this  skill. The skill is very very important for your
45. 5:16relationship building and networking which is very  essential again for your personal and professional
46. 5:22success. Social communication is an important part  of your daily life and relationship. And being
47. 5:28able to interpret what others feel and how you  meet their emotional needs is very crucial for
48. 5:34relationship building both at home and at work.  But to become a better listener and to engage
49. 5:40socially and to build relationship you need the  next skill that is empathy. Empathy is the strong
50. 5:48foundation for social awareness. It takes  an empathetic heart to feel what others feel
51. 5:54and then understand their needs and concerns that  are hidden behind these feelings. Empathy is your
52. 6:01ability to understand another person's views and  feelings. It is to walk in someone else's shoes
53. 6:08and to see the world from their perspective rather  than your own. It is about sensing what other
54. 6:13people are thinking and feeling to be able to take  their perspective using your capacity for empathy.
55. 6:22Empathy helps us to communicate our ideas in a way  that makes sense to other people and it helps us
56. 6:28to understand others when they communicate  their point of view with us. It is one of
57. 6:34those foundational building blocks of great social  interaction and quite obviously a powerful stuff
58. 6:40to practice. Empathy is now considered as the  number one skill for interpersonal effectiveness,
59. 6:46and leadership in the corporate world. And it is  a skill that can be developed even though most
60. 6:52people have lost the practice of that skill. Some  people , I have noticed this, some people have
61. 6:59excellent flair for natural empathy. They can  just pick up how someone is feeling just by
62. 7:04looking at them. Some people have only a tiny  amount of natural empathy and notice what is,
63. 7:10unless someone screams or yells or being  annoyed at them, that's when they notice
64. 7:17what is going on with other people. But most  people i know they lie somewhere in the middle,
65. 7:22and understand how someone else is feeling is  only a part of them, only part of their time.
66. 7:29Empathy is very different from sympathy. Empathy  goes far beyond sympathy which might be considered
67. 7:37feeling for someone. Empathy  instead is feeling with that person,
68. 7:42through the use of imagination to to  connect with that other person's story.
69. 7:48Number three: Social intuition. Social intuition  is your ability to pick up social signals from the
70. 7:55people around you. This will make you a social  animal, helping you to seek and receive help
71. 8:01when needed. This is the part of you that help  you empathise with people you haven't even met.
72. 8:07It's more like that social empathy. You will  know who needs help. You will be able to sense
73. 8:15and understand what others are going through.  You can respond to those who are distressed,
74. 8:21and then you can understand their need. And  this evokes that feelings of compassion,
75. 8:27kindness and humility within you. This awareness  makes you give a helping hand to strangers
76. 8:35who are in need. So social intuition helps you  understand your surroundings and situations better
77. 8:42and practice your responses accordingly. This  allows you to form your responses according to
78. 8:48the social context you are in. Let's say you have  a minor accident with someone dashing your car
79. 8:56and there's a scratch on your vehicle. You may  be disappointed and you encounter that person.
80. 9:03As you encounter that person your  behaviour and responses begin to change
81. 9:09based on who that person is. If you encounter  an old person or a handicap or a pregnant lady
82. 9:18or a drunk driver or a rash driver or  a regular person your approach changes.
83. 9:25Or your approach changes as you're relaxed.  Because you have insurance covering that accident
84. 9:32or you don't really bother that small scratch  after all. So your response is based on the
85. 9:38context of that situation instead of a ready-made  reaction to a situation. That's your social
86. 9:45intuition at work. With social intuition skills,  you can understand the mood of a place when you
87. 9:51walk in. Once you're mastered reading the cues and  emotions of other people you're ready to read an
88. 9:57entire room. It may sound daunting but it's what  you have already learned about social awareness,
89. 10:05just on a larger scale. You can sense the  tension. You can sense the energy in the room,
90. 10:11energy in a place, and if you're highly skilled  you can even light up a room as you walk in. When
91. 10:18you possess a great degree of social awareness and  social intuition you can read the situation very
92. 10:24well. And you can even mediate people and diffuse  situations that are turning hostile. Overall
93. 10:32social awareness lays the big foundation for  all your people skills like communication,
94. 10:37interpersonal effectiveness, conflict management,  networking skills, leadership and many more like
95. 10:44building trust, and solid relationship with  people. So it's a great skill to pick up and
96. 10:50in the next chapter you will learn a great deal  about how you can develop social awareness.