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What I’d beg every woman in her 20s to know about morning routines — Transcript

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0:00Why do we crave routine? Like I was
0:02saying, some of us crave routine because
0:04we feel a lack of control. But what is
0:07it about routine that makes us feel in
0:09control? And it's that sense of
0:11familiarity. It's that sense of knowing
0:13what to expect. And the reason why it
0:16feels good is because your nervous
0:18system can finally relax. It doesn't
0:21need to worry about what comes next and
0:24how to prepare for what comes next.
0:27>> [music]
0:32[music]
0:36>> Hello, hello, and welcome back to
0:38another episode of The 20s Detox. I'm
0:40Bianca, your host, where we dive into
0:42all the things that I'm learning and
0:44unlearning in my 20s to elevate this
0:46decade. If you're listening on Spotify
0:50or Apple Podcasts, make sure to follow
0:52along. If you're watching on YouTube,
0:55make sure to subscribe and put the
0:56notifications on so you don't miss a
0:59post. As you guys already know, I mainly
1:02do my episodes after a journal dump.
1:04What came up for me a lot right now is
1:07the theme of routines. I used to have a
1:10very interesting relationship with
1:13routines. And I think as I've navigated
1:16my own ways of living to become more
1:19flexible after therapy, after going back
1:22and forth through the soft life and
1:24hustle life, I do have an entire podcast
1:26episode that I just released a couple
1:28weeks ago about that. I have created a
1:31much healthier relationship with
1:33routines. And because I've been on both
1:36ends of that extreme spectrum, I can
1:39recognize in other people, and
1:41especially creators online, when they
1:45are maybe on one extreme more than the
1:48other. You might see this a lot about
1:50keywords that say "becoming that girl"
1:52or "getting my life together." You might
1:54follow YouTube creators that have new
1:57routines that pop up. I used to be
1:59someone that would create these amazing
2:02perfect routines on paper. And it
2:06excited me and it was like, this is
2:07what's going to get me up in the morning
2:09and this is what's going to be perfect
2:10for me after I'm done work for the day.
2:12And I have lost the plot really on what
2:15routines are. I think a lot of people
2:17actually forget the point of routines,
2:20the the purpose of them beyond
2:22[clears throat] trying to have your life
2:24feel all together. And before I get into
2:28how I approach my routines now, I wanted
2:30to just tell you a quick story time
2:31because I'm about to go on a trip. I'm
2:35recording all of these in advance. So
2:37actually I'm on the trip right now. As
2:39I'm preparing for this trip, it made me
2:41think of the trip I did a full year ago
2:43today.
2:45Very last minute, I was given the
2:48opportunity to go on a retreat. It
2:50changed my life and our days were set up
2:52in a way that was really about slowing
2:56down. Okay? Like there was no get up at
2:58the crack of dawn to do yoga. Like no,
3:00we did we did that at like 9:00 a.m. So
3:02we could sleep in. We had a lot of free
3:04time. We had co-creation workshops,
3:07which means that a lot of the time that
3:09this host of the retreat creates our
3:12workshops, it's also around who's
3:14showing up and with the types of people
3:16that are coming. And I was on this
3:17retreat, I was talking to one of the
3:19girls who I was becoming close to.
3:21And she was saying like, I actually have
3:23been like having a really hard time that
3:26I and I wasn't going to I wasn't
3:27expecting myself to feel this way on
3:29this retreat, but I think it's because
3:31before this trip, I would wake up at
3:33this time, I would have my green
3:34smoothie, I would do this, I would do
3:36that. I'd have this routine. So like
3:38having my routine all shaken up has kind
3:41of affected me in the ways that I feel
3:44about myself and I'm feeling a bit more
3:46insecure, I'm feeling a bit more in my
3:48head and it's frustrating me. One of the
3:50things that I told her that I had
3:53learned was sometimes when
3:57we have been feeling really out of
3:59control of our lives, maybe it's just
4:02that season in our life when a bunch of
4:04uncertainties have happened, things are
4:06kind of falling out of control, let's
4:08just say. You are not able to control a
4:12lot of things that are happening to you.
4:14It's natural to start to feel a little
4:16bit out of control with your life. And
4:18so, what can happen is we latch on to
4:22what we do have control over. And for
4:25the most part, those are our routines.
4:28So, when you are placed into a situation
4:31when our routines are out the window,
4:34and you already were experiencing a lot
4:36of uncertainty in your life, no wonder
4:39you're like craving for that again
4:41because your nervous system is
4:42dysregulated. And I want to just like
4:45pause for a moment to have you reflect
4:47on a time when you might have been going
4:50through these cycles in your life of
4:53trying to find this perfect routine. And
4:55you might have followed a lot of
4:57YouTubers that talked about it, and also
5:00might have emanated that type of energy.
5:02And I think deep down you know, like,
5:04but something isn't working here with
5:07this way that I'm approaching routine.
5:09It feels good when I can check
5:12everything off, but it is almost
5:16debilitating and makes me feel even
5:17worse about myself when I might mess
5:20something up that day. One day when I
5:23had gone through years and years of that
5:26cycle, years of trying to find the
5:28perfect routine, would stay up a little
5:30bit too late making it look all pretty
5:32in my notes app, and checking it off on
5:34what happened in the morning, when I
5:36would do something in the afternoon, or
5:38my evening routine, or my workout
5:40routine. Something clicked in me. I
5:42threw routine out the window. Like, I
5:45just had zero routine. And that also
5:48didn't feel good because I felt a little
5:50bit out of control. And here is the
5:52balance that I was starting to realize.
5:55Why do we crave routine? Like I was
5:57saying, some of us crave routine because
5:59we feel a lack of control. But what is
6:02it about routine that makes us feel in
6:04control? And it's that sense of
6:06familiarity. It's that sense of knowing
6:08what to expect. And the reason why it
6:11feels good is because your nervous
6:13system can finally relax. It can drop
6:16some of that into the parasympathetic
6:18nervous system, which is the calming
6:20nervous system, because it doesn't need
6:22to worry about what comes next and how
6:25to prepare for what comes next cuz you
6:27know what it is. That is the beauty of
6:30routines. That is the actual purpose of
6:33it. The thing about that is when you go
6:38for the approach of I am doing this to
6:41regulate my nervous system, then you no
6:44longer attached to how it looks, but
6:47more about what those activities are
6:49making me feel like. When you approach
6:52it that way, you'll notice that you're
6:54kind of in this in-between of being that
6:59very put-together, organized routine
7:02list maker, and also at the same time,
7:05you might be going with the flow.
7:08Especially if you are somebody with a
7:10uterus and your hormones change on a
7:14daily basis.
7:16You might need to sleep in a day. You
7:19might not be able to make it to your
7:216:00 or 7:00 a.m. workout. You might
7:24also have a completely different
7:25chronotype in the sense that you
7:28actually function better in the evening
7:29or you have better time getting yourself
7:32in the mood for workouts that might be
7:34in the mid-afternoon than right in the
7:36morning or right at night. I think the
7:39first thing I'm going to tell you right
7:40away is because of that, we really
7:44cannot follow another person's routine.
7:47And also, I can almost guarantee you
7:51that that person that you follow on
7:53YouTube that is creating like the that
7:55girl routine or the ultimate morning
7:57routine, ultimate evening routine, they
8:00are going to change that in maybe 6
8:02months or a year because just following
8:06a routine so specifically to the point
8:09where you can't even budge from it is
8:11kind of losing the sense of that routine
8:13in the first place. Because now you're
8:16not even allowing yourself to relax.
8:18You're not even allowing yourself to
8:19reap the benefits of what that routine
8:22was put in there in the first place. You
8:24know what's also just as common as
8:27wanting to latch to something out of a
8:29sense of like you feel out of control is
8:32your desire to rebel when something
8:35becomes too rigid. Your desire to
8:39sabotage the situation when you feel
8:42like you're doing it out of duty, even
8:44if you've put it on yourself. And that's
8:46why sometimes our routines don't stick
8:50and they don't work. What my routine
8:52used to look like when I was 22,
8:5723,
8:58that's when it was like super peak like
9:01I need my routines to be perfect or I
9:03can't function era. And that was because
9:06I had graduated from university. It was
9:08my first year of post-grad and was
9:12feeling a lot of uncertainty. Was going
9:14through a lot. Friendship breakups
9:17because I moved away from a lot of my
9:19friends and we just like kind of fell
9:21apart. I was living like an hour and a
9:24half away from my boyfriend. I was
9:26navigating a change in career path. I
9:29felt so out of control. And that right
9:32there it
9:33was what gave me the experience and
9:36perspective to notice in this girl a
9:38year ago being like, "Girl, I've been
9:40there. And this is okay that you feel
9:42this way. And I think it's almost
9:44necessary for you to remember that
9:47you've had those experiences so you
9:48don't slip into it later in your life.
9:51We need that experience. We need those
9:52learning lessons. What my routine looked
9:55like at this stage in my life was, you
9:57know, like I'd wake up at a certain
9:59time. I'd have to wake up between this
10:00buffer. I'd have I'd meditate. I would
10:04have to journal for like 10 minutes.
10:06I'd have to eat a certain breakfast
10:09between this time. I'd have to follow a
10:11certain workout routine to a T. And
10:14then, you know, I'd maybe have to be
10:16like, "I have to go get my sunlight." Or
10:18I have to have lemon water. And I have
10:20to do this. And I have to do that. And I
10:22was also super over consuming
10:27lifestyle content.
10:29People were sharing their routines and
10:31what they found is the best practices
10:33within the wellness world for them to
10:35do.
10:36And so, it ranged from, "Okay, I need to
10:39have my coffee at this time. Oh, just
10:40kidding. I need to have it an hour or
10:43two after waking up. Oh, just kidding.
10:45It needs to be 30 minutes after waking
10:46up." And so, I felt pulled in these
10:50directions, super confused. My routines
10:52never stuck because I was also reaching
10:54All of this was out of perfectionism,
10:57from a lack of control. Now, how do I
11:00approach routines? Routines are a way
11:03for me to regulate my nervous system. In
11:05order for me to know what the routine is
11:07going to look like, I need to understand
11:09where my nervous system is at. And how
11:12can that look like right now? Right now,
11:14as I'm preparing for a trip, it means
11:16when I get really overwhelmed mid-work
11:18day, because I feel like I am not doing
11:21as much as I would like to do, I'll
11:24notice this like resistance within me.
11:26And I'll be like, "Okay, I need to stop
11:28what I'm doing. And and need to go for a
11:31little walk." 10 minutes of fresh air,
11:3315 minutes, either listen to music that
11:35will make me feel good, or I'll listen
11:37to the birds, or I'll feel like I'll
11:39throw on a book, or I'll listen to a
11:40podcast. I listen to what my body wants.
11:44And I listen to what I want. I'm not
11:46going to make reading a book, music
11:48time, walk time on a specific schedule,
11:53because it takes away from the fun of
11:54life. I don't want your routines to
11:57start to take away from improvisation,
12:00spontaneity, playfulness. You can blend
12:03that into your life, as well. You can
12:07have routines and rituals in your life,
12:10allow for flexibility. What could my
12:13routine also look like right now?
12:15Um it's the time of the month for me, so
12:18it means that I actually need way more
12:21hours of sleep. Am I going to sleep in
12:23to noon? No. But I'm going to let myself
12:26get maybe an extra hour of sleep, so
12:28that I'm able to not feel so exhausted
12:32throughout my day, because I am on that
12:35time of the month.
12:36And naturally, our energies are lower. I
12:39think that in general, you need to give
12:41yourself that flexibility, because if
12:43flexibility is not there, then your
12:45routine is no longer doing its job for
12:48you. But
12:49I know what you guys want. You want a
12:51little bit more about what I like to do
12:54for some of my mornings and for some of
12:56my workouts and my evenings. So there's
12:59a bit of non-negotiables that I do have.
13:02I just really wanted to talk about my
13:03experience with routines first and why I
13:05do them. So, the first and foremost
13:08thing you have to do is listen to your
13:09body. What that will tell you is the
13:12habit within that routine or ritual
13:15might look a little different with what
13:17your body wants. So let me talk about
13:19some of my morning ritual routines. My
13:22non-negotiables, the two things that I
13:24go for is mindfulness and joy. And that
13:29might look different depending on how I
13:31feel. For mindfulness, I usually lean
13:34towards a meditation. If I feel like I
13:37can't really get in the mood for a
13:39meditation, then I'll spend a few
13:41moments in silence. I'll sit outside.
13:45I'll just have a sense of mindfulness
13:47moment in the way that works with me.
13:50Sometimes my meditations can be 5
13:52minutes, other times they can be 30.
13:54Sometimes they're self-guided, sometimes
13:56it's just with music, sometimes they're
13:58sitting in silence. Why is this all over
14:01the place? Once again, because my energy
14:03levels can be different, my
14:06anxiety levels can be different, how my
14:09nervous system feels that day, my
14:10readiness levels, how my sleep was, my
14:13hormone levels, all of that changes the
14:16way that I show up for that. But it is a
14:19non-negotiable to practice mindfulness
14:21in the morning because I know that when
14:24I practice mindfulness,
14:26that sense of awareness and tendency to
14:29jump towards observation over judgment
14:33is more likely to happen when I have
14:36moments of mindfulness in the morning.
14:38And also, I have always gravitated
14:41towards doing it in the mornings because
14:44that is when I can have me time. My
14:46boyfriend doesn't wake up till a little
14:48bit later, and he is a huge night owl.
14:51So, I usually have no evenings to
14:54myself. And so, my mornings are the time
14:57when I can be with myself. Also, with my
15:00family, they are I mean, my dad wakes up
15:03early, but for the most part, my mom's a
15:05night owl, my sister's a night owl.
15:07They're going to be up later. It's
15:09louder in the evening, and so I don't
15:11really have the
15:14the the opportunity. Another way that I
15:17like to practice mindfulness, I'm
15:19really, really, really trying to get
15:20into this so that I have a real I have a
15:22hard time with it. And it's journaling.
15:24I don't know what it is.
15:26Actually, I do know what it is. It's
15:27hard for me to stay still, and
15:31journaling
15:32does not come naturally to me, so it
15:34takes some time. I don't always find
15:37that I have the time before work day or
15:40I make the time before work day for me
15:43to journal the way that I would like to.
15:45I want to do like the morning pages.
15:47That can take me upwards towards like 30
15:50to 45 minutes in the morning. I don't
15:52know I don't know if it takes you less
15:53time or whatever, but it takes me that
15:55much time.
15:56And I sometimes find myself not having
15:59the opportunities to be able to do that
16:01before I have to get into work. So, I I
16:03am navigating that. I know that a lot of
16:05those I put on myself. Like, I could
16:08just show up. I could do it in a
16:10different way. I could have lower
16:11stakes. I have to try and get in a
16:15better mindset about journaling in
16:17general. So, that's something I'm
16:19working on, okay? But, there are
16:21sometimes once a week that I will have
16:24this desire to sit down and journal and
16:27do the morning pages. So, that is
16:30another type of mindfulness to have
16:32myself become even more aware with my
16:34inner voice and kind of unlock some more
16:36creativity and have a sense of catharsis
16:40of things that have been on my mind. So,
16:42journaling is also really great for
16:43that. The other thing that I have that's
16:46a non-negotiable in my morning is joy.
16:49One thing that gives me so much joy is
16:52my coffee ritual. I love coffee. I have
16:55a traditional espresso machine. I grind
16:58up the coffee beans in the morning,
17:00froth my milk, sometimes I put a slice
17:03of like 95% chocolate in my coffee mug.
17:06I even have a little mug that I've made
17:10in a pottery class. I'll like put on
17:12powdered cocoa powder on top or
17:15cinnamon. And all of that gives me like
17:18a really great sense of joy. I I kind of
17:20have this joke of the fact that it's the
17:22reason why I get up in the morning is my
17:23cup of coffee. It's not going for that
17:26like caffeine boost. I love the taste of
17:30espresso. I also find that it's a really
17:33special ritual for me. Like it gives the
17:36the process of it gives me joy. When I
17:39got the espresso machine, I thought that
17:41I would find the whole act pretty
17:43tedious because it takes some time. Like
17:45you have to make sure that the espresso,
17:48whatever that thing is, device is
17:50cleaned, ready. You need to make sure
17:52that your coffee beans are grinded up
17:55properly, making sure it's spaced out
17:57right. You need the water level to be
17:59right. Frothing the milk can take some
18:01time and some sort of craft. I haven't
18:04yet gone to like making cappuccino art
18:07or latte art, but I'd like to reach that
18:10point. I think that would be kind of
18:11fun. Anyhow, I thought it would be
18:13tedious, but I found that it was
18:15something that was kind of a crossover
18:18between joy and mindfulness of just
18:22doing that every morning. And I And I
18:23enjoy it. So, that's something that
18:25gives me joy. Another thing that gives
18:27me joy that I think some people would
18:29have Some people that are like hardcore
18:31routine that girl productive routines
18:35would find this not so great is
18:37sometimes I put on like a little bit of
18:39a TV show before I get into my work when
18:41I have my breakfast and my coffee in the
18:43morning. I'll play feel-good things.
18:46Like for the longest time I would watch
18:47Heartland in the morning. I've been
18:50watching Bridgerton. And I'm not
18:52watching an entire show. This might be
18:54like 10 minutes of a show, 15 minutes.
18:57That's why Sometimes it can take me an
18:59entire week to get through like
19:01one TV episode, but I find it nice to
19:06start the day doing something that gives
19:08me joy. I also was like binging the
19:12Fourth Wing series throughout the winter
19:14winter and I would read a little bit of
19:16that book in the morning before my work
19:18day. I used to think, oh, I need to read
19:23a little bit of a personal development
19:24book or I need to read a little bit of a
19:26spirituality book for me to feel like
19:29I'm doing something good for myself
19:32before getting into work. But naturally
19:35with my work, I am not just tuning into
19:38my sense of creativity but about the
19:41personal development world I'm writing
19:43about all day. And so I found myself
19:45realizing that if I dive right into
19:49personal development, it kind of feels
19:51like work for me.
19:53It feels like I'm going into work. And
19:55then I'll catch myself at the end of the
19:57day realizing I had not done anything
20:01all day that was just about fun and play
20:06unrelated to a way of monetizing it for
20:10myself. So, that's why watching a little
20:12bit of a TV show or reading a little bit
20:14of a fiction book in the morning is
20:16actually so important for me. And in
20:18fact, by doing so replenishes
20:22this creative energy within me so that I
20:25can show up even more creative for the
20:28rest of the day. And I I don't know,
20:30like I encourage you to think about ways
20:32of bringing more joy into your life.
20:35Like we are being a little bit too
20:37serious now. I think it's a byproduct of
20:42social media and hustle culture,
20:45capitalism, a lot of our western
20:47culture. And as a result, we kind of see
20:52these little acts of joy and play as
20:55very frivolous. And we forget that it is
20:59what fuels our creative energy. It is
21:02what makes our mood higher to be even
21:05more productive at work, to be happier.
21:09It also allows us to stay within this
21:13momentum to continue and keep going. You
21:16need a little bit of of that flexibility
21:18and balance. I think regardless, I've
21:20let go of these metrics behind my
21:23routine and what it needs to look like
21:26in that sense. I go for how it should
21:29make me feel. Afterwards,
21:32I feel consistent. And I want you to
21:34think about this. If you were somebody
21:36that is still unconvinced about a a more
21:39flexible way of approaching routines, I
21:42want you to reflect on how you feel
21:44after your routine. Do you feel good
21:47consistently after your routine every
21:49day? And if you do, great. You might
21:52have this like perfect routine that just
21:54works for you. And you just know
21:56yourself so well that you've created
21:57that. But I can almost promise you that
21:59most of you don't. Maybe you feel good a
22:02little bit in the beginning. Maybe you
22:05feel amazing if you can click it all
22:07off, and then maybe a week or two will
22:09go by, and the fun of it, or the pride
22:14behind doing well with it, just goes
22:17away. And you'll realize that the reason
22:19why it's not sticking is because there
22:21isn't a lot of intrinsic reasons for it.
22:25It's coming from a sense of external
22:28pressures for why you're doing these
22:30routines, cuz you want to look put
22:32together, cuz you want to say that
22:34you've done these things productive in
22:36the morning, because you want to say
22:37that you're working on your brain and
22:40your spirituality and mindfulness in a
22:42way that's by the book. That is where we
22:45lost the plot, because it's not going to
22:49benefit you as much until you listen to
22:51what your body and your mind is telling
22:53you. If you don't feel regulated after
22:56you perform a certain routine, what are
22:58you even doing it for? Routines are
23:00supposed to regulate our nervous system
23:03to feel good after so that you can carry
23:05on with your day because you know the
23:06rest of your day will be full of
23:09uncertainties. But if your routine is so
23:12that it looks good on paper, but it
23:14doesn't actually make you feel
23:15regulated, that's when you go on that
23:18trip, you're going to feel unbalanced.
23:21That's why when you don't follow it to a
23:22T, you're not going to feel good about
23:24yourself because it's not for the right
23:26reasons. More of my routines, what do I
23:28do after work? One of the things that I
23:31absolutely do after work is something
23:34that grounds me. My mornings are for
23:38like opening up, feeling connected,
23:40centered, and then after work, it is
23:43more for turning back inward, grounding,
23:47connecting with what matters. So, one of
23:49the things that I love to do is go for
23:52walks, be out in nature, reconnect with
23:55something that puts things into
23:57perspective because after a work day,
24:00it's very natural to get sucked in too
24:03deeply to your work, to that industry,
24:06to your life, and things feel a lot
24:09bigger than they really need to be. And
24:11what always puts things into perspective
24:13for me and feel small, but in a good
24:15way, is going out in nature because I
24:18realize, "Oh my gosh, like this is what
24:20life's about. This is not really
24:23all those little things that I was
24:24stressing about doesn't matter to this
24:26like extreme-ness that I'm doing to
24:29myself here." So, nature super grounding
24:32for me, specifically nature walks, being
24:35in nature where I don't see a lot of
24:38man-made things. That helps me out a
24:40lot. Another thing that I do like to
24:43have within my evenings is I usually
24:46spend a lot of that time with my
24:48boyfriend. Like we that's our time to be
24:51with one another because even our
24:52weekends are kind of all over the place
24:54and we don't always have the opportunity
24:57to spend time with one another. Um Um
25:00so, sometimes, like I'd say more than
25:02not, the weeknights
25:05are when we can have like a date's time
25:08together. Our weekends are way more for
25:11family and friends because there's
25:14usually always an event happening, or we
25:17create the event for ourselves.
25:19Sometimes I will also feel called to
25:22have like an evening workout. We have
25:24like the amazing ability to have our own
25:26gym here in this condo building. There's
25:29also a steam sauna that I love to do
25:31when I need extra grounding. Like
25:33sometimes when I notice, "Oh my gosh,
25:35that was kind of a stressful day." The
25:37best thing that I like to do is I go for
25:39a nature walk, and then I'll come back,
25:41have a really nice dinner, and then I
25:44might do some stretching, some yoga, and
25:46then I'll do a steam sauna. And like
25:48I'll just feel renewed after. Sometimes
25:51though, I have a lot of energy,
25:53especially when I am in my follicular
25:55and ovulation phase, and so I might go
25:58for a run. I might do an intense workout
26:02routine downstairs. I personally,
26:06um just with my schedule, morning
26:08workouts just don't work for me. I have
26:12too many people texting me about things
26:13that need to get done. I'm not an early
26:15morning riser, and so my mornings are
26:18not really for intense energetic things.
26:22Workouts happen afternoon, early evening
26:26for me. So, occasionally I'll find
26:29myself pulled to want to get a little
26:31bit more energy out and do a workout
26:33routine. I will say something about my
26:36workout routines. I go by the quarters,
26:39and I will change my workout routine
26:42quarterly. Especially in the wintertime,
26:44that is when you're eating heavier
26:46foods, more comfort foods, it's darker
26:48out. So, naturally I'll feel more pulled
26:52to lifting heavier, doing less cardio.
26:56I'm building the strength there because
26:58our foods in general it really gives
27:01bulking season. Cardio doesn't really
27:04fit as easily into into there, although
27:06I do try and do that for my my heart
27:08health, of course. When it is the spring
27:11summer seasons, I will lighten the
27:15weights, do a little bit more cardio. I
27:18also will alternate on a quarterly basis
27:20of the exercises that are working for my
27:23body and not. Something one of my she's
27:26a personal trainer. She's been doing
27:28this for a very long time. She's my
27:29parents age. I go to some of her
27:31workouts. My dad and mom have been doing
27:33her workouts for well over 20 years. And
27:37something that she was saying is we are
27:39born genetically with maybe some muscles
27:44and tendons within our bodies that are
27:46more developed than others. And because
27:49of that and and not just to mention how
27:52long your limbs are and
27:54how your body is formed, some workouts
27:57and exercises will benefit you more than
28:01others and vice versa. So, when I am
28:03trying to develop like a workout split,
28:06I'll tweak it almost every quarter to
28:09know how my body is reacting to it. And
28:11sometimes I will notice like I
28:13experienced when I had this really bad
28:15back injury a year and a half ago, one
28:17of the things that I realized I needed
28:19to do more of was more stretching, more
28:22Pilates work, more core, um yoga
28:25especially. That was the thing. Yoga,
28:27yoga, yoga. And I was doing too many
28:30exercises that were for the big muscles
28:33and I was neglecting the smaller
28:35muscles. And now that I have a better
28:36balance, I feel way healthier and if not
28:40stronger than before because I started
28:42doing that. And that's why I like to do
28:44the quarterly workouts because it gives
28:47me 3 months to just focus on something
28:49and not have to think about too much on
28:50a weekly daily basis. You're able to
28:54have a good amount of time to reflect on
28:56how things are working with you. And
28:59especially if you want to work with the
29:01seasons, then you can change your
29:04workout routines to align with this new
29:06energy that you're trying to embody.
29:08Right? Like so in the wintertime, we
29:10talk a lot about how it's a time of
29:12hibernation, a time of turning inward,
29:15of getting away from this like fast,
29:17productive, intense life because that is
29:21what we experienced the whole rest of
29:22the year.
29:23And leaning into the darkness that's
29:26around you, leaning into the heavier
29:28foods. I used to be so hard on myself
29:31with how my body looked in the winter.
29:33And I know I'm not alone when it with
29:34it. And
29:36it was a thing that we almost resisted
29:38so strongly and wanted to be the better
29:41person to be like more disciplined and
29:44ripped in the wintertime, not just the
29:45summertime. And all that is BS. Like you
29:48think about on a nature basis, there's a
29:50reason why we're craving warmer, heavier
29:54foods. It's because of how cold it is
29:56outside. And so it can be a beautiful
29:59time to be able to strengthen your
30:01muscles so that come the following
30:04seasons, you have that strength to be
30:08more athletic and do all those things
30:10that might be easier to access in the
30:13summertime cuz I know that winter sports
30:14can be quite expensive and inaccessible
30:16for a lot of people. Fall, I usually
30:19spend that time like slowing down my
30:23workout routines. Has a little bit more
30:25cardio, faster pace things. In the
30:28spring, I'm it's a similar season to
30:31autumn when I am like leaning into a
30:34faster workout routine, but I'm not
30:36going to overdo it because that'll shock
30:38my body. Summer is the time when it's
30:40like super fast and I'm doing a lot of
30:43cardio naturally because I'm swimming,
30:45I'm running, I'm biking, I'm outside
30:48playing so many sports, and I'm still
30:50doing, of course, strength training.
30:52But, there is a season for everything,
30:54even our workouts. And then, the last
30:56thing that I wanted to share is some
30:58occasional things that I like to do in
31:00my life. Some things that I like to do
31:03is I do like to travel, and I do like to
31:06go on a vacation. And I know myself, and
31:09because of how I am self-employed, and
31:13my work needs to continue working while
31:15I'm away, I like to not go on vacation
31:20too many times throughout the year, but
31:21I do when I do it once, it's a big one.
31:24I prefer that because that is better for
31:27the way that I operate and how it makes
31:29me feel. So, I'm going to be going on a
31:32trip for almost a month, and because of
31:36that, I'm going to be having a bit of a
31:37time away from active work, but it will
31:41allow me to replenish some creative
31:43energy with some things that I really,
31:46really want to jump into for the
31:47summertime. Other things that I have
31:50been very much leading towards, cuz like
31:52a huge part of my job is with social
31:55media, I try and stay off of social
31:58media on the weekends and reconnect more
32:00with what matters. It can be really
32:02uncomfortable to be off your phone when
32:05it you're so used to that stimulation,
32:07but when you have 2 days to reset your
32:12nervous system in that way, it really
32:15helps you throughout the rest of the
32:16week when you are dealing with difficult
32:19things at work, when you do want to sit
32:21down for a meditation, when you do want
32:23to step away from the work, or or when
32:26you want to lock in on something and not
32:28feel distracted. Having times where you
32:31are like disconnecting from stimulation,
32:34specifically technology, getting your
32:37hands a little dirty gardening or going
32:40for a longer nature walk, going camping,
32:42spending time with friends, family, not
32:45bringing your computer, just being
32:47present with them. It's a really, really
32:49great reset. And that's another thing
32:50that I like to do. Family is so
32:53important to me. So, I do try and see my
32:57family as much as I can, specifically my
32:59grandparents because I know that I'm not
33:01going to have as much time with them as
33:02I would like. And there's the chance
33:05that they might not last another year or
33:07two or three. So, I want to make sure
33:10that I'm not regretting those
33:12opportunities that I can just spend like
33:14an afternoon with them. I think maybe
33:16what you could also think about is like
33:18your values in life. What are they? And
33:22how often are you prioritizing that?
33:24Because it can be the reason why you
33:27feel angry, resistant, anxious, sad,
33:31disconnected. Maybe because your values
33:33are not being valued. They're not even
33:35being acknowledged. And how can you do
33:37that on the weekends? How can you spend
33:38more time on the weekends or on the
33:40times when you have opportunities to
33:44focus on them? Because more than not,
33:46doing what you value also will reset
33:50your nervous system. And it will allow
33:52you to continue with your day. So, yeah.
33:54I feel like I've rambled a little bit a
33:57lot on routines. I'm just going to
34:00summarize a few things about this
34:02episode so that you kind of have it just
34:04get it right here in the CliffNotes. One
34:06of the things is if you are feeling
34:09drawn to being super strict with your
34:12routines, I want you to think about what
34:15is happening in your life that is making
34:17you feel out of control for you to do
34:20that. Right there will let you know a
34:22little bit more about your tendency to
34:26want to latch towards these routines.
34:28The second thing I want you to think
34:30about what is your nervous system need
34:33because we're not going to be able to
34:35control a lot of if any of these
34:38uncertainties. We're not going to be
34:39able to control anything that is outside
34:41of our control making you want to latch
34:43to these routines, but we know how to
34:45respond to them better.
34:47And it's not by
34:50making a really strict routine list and
34:52you know, if you don't follow it to a T
34:54then things are even worse than they
34:56they began. Think about what your
34:57nervous system needs and give yourself
35:00permission for it to look a little bit
35:01differently than any other routine out
35:03there. If that includes watching 10
35:05minutes of a show in the morning,
35:06working later so that you can have a
35:08longer morning to yourself. On the
35:10weekends, what can that look like for
35:12you? And if you are a bit confused of
35:15what can regulate your nervous system,
35:17two things that I always lean towards is
35:20what is going to make me feel grounded.
35:22So that can lean towards mindfulness
35:24practices, meditation, journaling, going
35:27out in nature, things that make you drop
35:30into your body. That can also be playing
35:31an instrument, singing. And the second
35:34thing is what is going to evoke a sense
35:36of playfulness and joy. So that can look
35:39very differently from people. That can
35:41also cross over towards some mindfulness
35:43practices like making your coffee in the
35:45morning, like playing an instrument. So
35:48whatever that may look to you, I think
35:50that that is a better way to make you
35:52navigate this uncertainty because you're
35:54going to make sure that you're doing
35:56things for you. Your inner child is
35:57going to be happier. You're going to
35:59feel more replenished there and you're
36:00going to be able to tackle these
36:01uncertainties throughout your day with a
36:04lot more grace. And lastly, I want you
36:06to not jump back into this sense of
36:09rigidity again by choosing these things
36:12that will make your nervous system feel
36:13regulated and saying that they need to
36:15look a certain way. So if it is a sense
36:17of mindfulness and you're going to
36:19decide on meditation, that meditation
36:21can look differently. It can be 5
36:23minutes, it can be 10 minutes, it can be
36:2530 minutes, it can be self-guided, it
36:27can be not self-guided, and all of that
36:29is okay because we're not going for what
36:32it looks like. Once again, we're going
36:33with how it makes you feel. Have that
36:35flexibility. Make sure it connects with
36:38what the purpose of routine is in the
36:39first place. It's familiarity and
36:41regulating your nervous system. That's
36:43all it is.
36:45That's really the point of routines. The
36:47point of routines is to make you feel
36:49more grounded in your life because
36:52everything else is a free-for-all. I
36:54think I I'm yapped on this enough. If
36:56you are this pull towards seasonal
36:59living, I know some of you are feeling
37:00this pull towards seasonal living. I
37:02talk about it a lot. And if you
37:03resonated with a few things within this,
37:06where you noticed you have these
37:08perfectionist traits and you and you go
37:10to the rigidity type of routine list,
37:14then maybe living seasonally is what you
37:16need. And I have an entire guide out, a
37:19workbook. It's divided into four
37:21different parts aligning with the fiscal
37:23quarters and seasons so that you're able
37:25to have a new fresh approach to every
37:28single quarter in a way that allows for
37:30flexibility, but also structure at the
37:33same time. So, it's the best of both
37:35worlds. It's essentially trying to have
37:37you find your sense of inner balance.
37:39One of the things that I as I'm working
37:42on being a uh a health coach myself is
37:45protecting one's autonomy. I'm not going
37:48to tell you I'm sorry, I'm not going to
37:50tell you what it needs to look like in
37:51your life. You know what it needs to
37:52look like. And this workbook allows you
37:56to to explore what it will look like for
37:58you so that it's sustainable, so that it
38:00sticks, and so that it feels good to
38:02you, and it's you-coded. Thank you so
38:04much for listening. I also have a weekly
38:06newsletter that goes out every single
38:08Sunday connecting to the topics of the
38:10episode alongside giving you some more
38:13tips. So, if you feel like, I want a
38:14little bit more of a free taste of of
38:17what I offer, it's completely free to
38:19sign up. It goes into your inbox every
38:21single Sunday. It'll give you some some
38:23prompts and exercises so that anything
38:26that I share in this episode, you can
38:28try and do things for yourself to align
38:31it more in your life. So,
38:32thank you so much for listening. I hope
38:34that you enjoyed this episode. If you
38:36did, share it with a friend. Make sure
38:37to download it, save it, and yeah, I'll
38:40see you next week. Bye.

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