WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP! - Best of Jordan Peterson Greatest Advice — Transcript
Full transcript
- 0:04if you're suffering you are obligated in
- 0:09a sense to hold on to whatever rope
- 0:11someone throws you life can be
- 0:13meaningful enough to justify its
- 0:16suffering you can't Aaron eyes yourself
- 0:18into doing things but I wouldn't
- 0:19recommend it what I would recommend
- 0:21instead is that you ask yourself what
- 0:23you're willing to do it's a really
- 0:24effective technique it's like a
- 0:25meditative technique that's when life is
- 0:27worthwhile I don't know exactly what's
- 0:36gonna have helped you but don't
- 0:38arbitrarily throw out any possibilities
- 0:40because you might not have that luxury
- 0:42antidepressants help a lot of people and
- 0:44there are technical reasons why that's
- 0:45the case if you're offered a gift by
- 0:47your society and it works try it I don't
- 0:50care what your presuppositions are the
- 0:53time you see people who are suffering
- 0:54with depression for example there's a
- 0:56multitude of reasons but I'll take one
- 0:58common reason you can think about it as
- 1:00associated with the story of Peter Pan a
- 1:02Peter Pan is someone who won't grow up
- 1:04right now the problem with Peter Pan is
- 1:06he gets to be king but it's king of
- 1:08Neverland
- 1:09Neverland doesn't exist so being king of
- 1:12nothing isn't that helpful well one of
- 1:15the things that you often see with
- 1:16people who suffer from depression and
- 1:18and I'm not making a blanket statement
- 1:20about the cause of depression because
- 1:21there's lots of them is that people who
- 1:24don't have enough order in their life
- 1:25tend to get overwhelmed so for example
- 1:28if someone comes into me to see me and
- 1:30they say they're depressed I always ask
- 1:32them a very standard set of questions
- 1:38I do have a job if you don't have a job
- 1:43you're really in trouble in our society
- 1:44first of all you your biological rhythms
- 1:46tend to go off the rails right away
- 1:48because there's no reason to go to bed
- 1:49at any particular time and there's no
- 1:50reason to get up and for many people if
- 1:52they don't get up at the same time they
- 1:55follow up the functioning of their
- 1:56circadian rhythms and that's enough to
- 1:58make them depress right off the bat
- 1:59especially if they start napping during
- 2:00the afternoon they don't also don't have
- 2:03a purpose people aren't good without a
- 2:04purpose and this isn't this isn't
- 2:07hypothesizing we absolutely understand
- 2:10the circuitry that underlies positive
- 2:11emotion
- 2:13[Music]
- 2:15when you're attending to something
- 2:18you're interested in and you're engaged
- 2:19it that's when you're alive that's when
- 2:21life is worthwhile it's so worthwhile
- 2:23that in those moments you don't even ask
- 2:24the question about it the question
- 2:26itself goes away because the meaning
- 2:29that you're Li United with is so
- 2:30powerful that it can push back the
- 2:33adversity that would otherwise
- 2:34characterize life Nietzsche said the
- 2:37person who has a Y can bear anyhow we
- 2:43know how it works almost all the
- 2:45positive emotion that any of you are
- 2:46likely to experience in your life will
- 2:48not be a consequence of attaining things
- 2:50it will be a consequence of seeing that
- 2:52things are working as you proceed
- 2:55towards a goal you value that's
- 2:57completely different and you need to
- 2:58know this because people are often
- 2:59stunned for example they finish their
- 3:01PhD thesis and their presupposition is
- 3:04that they're going to be elated for a
- 3:05month and often instead they're actually
- 3:07depressed and they think hell I've been
- 3:09working on this for seven years and I
- 3:11handed it in and what do I do now and
- 3:13that's what depresses them right it's
- 3:15the what do I do now well they're fine
- 3:16if they enjoyed it
- 3:18pursuing the thing as long as it was
- 3:19working out they get a lot of enthusiasm
- 3:21and excitement over that because that's
- 3:22how our nervous systems work most of
- 3:24your positive emotion is dole pursue
- 3:26emotion if you take drugs like cocaine
- 3:29or amphetamine the reason they're
- 3:30enjoyable is because they turn on the
- 3:32systems that help you pursue goals
- 3:34that's what people like so if you don't
- 3:36have a job you got no structure that's
- 3:38not good plus you tend not to have a
- 3:40point
- 3:41so you're overwhelmed by chaotic lack of
- 3:43structure and you don't have any
- 3:44positive emotion
- 3:48[Music]
- 4:04[Music]
- 4:15and you know what's so good about the
- 4:17truth everyone knows what it is however
- 4:19long they've lived without it assuming
- 4:22you want to get better there's usually
- 4:23something you can figure out that would
- 4:25constitute a step towards some sort of
- 4:27concrete goal and my presumption it's a
- 4:30behavioral presumptions fundamentally is
- 4:32that small accruing gains that repeat
- 4:36unbelievably powerful
- 4:39you can Terran eyes yourself into doing
- 4:42things but I wouldn't recommend it what
- 4:44I would recommend instead is that you
- 4:45ask yourself what you're willing to do
- 4:47it's a really effective technique it's
- 4:49like a meditative techniques so for
- 4:50example you can get up in the morning
- 4:52you can think well you know I'd like to
- 4:53have a good day today so I'd like to go
- 4:55to bed tonight without feeling guilty
- 4:56because I you know didn't do some things
- 4:58I said I was gonna do and I you know I'd
- 4:59like to have kind of an interesting day
- 5:01so you got to fulfill my
- 5:02responsibilities and I want to you know
- 5:04enjoy the day then you can ask yourself
- 5:05well what would I have to do in order
- 5:07for that to happen that I would do and
- 5:09the probability if you practice this for
- 5:11three or four days is your brain will
- 5:12just tell you say well you know there's
- 5:14that piece of homework that you haven't
- 5:15done for like three weeks you should
- 5:16knocked out sucker off because it would
- 5:18only take you 10 minutes and you've been
- 5:19avoiding it and torching yourself to
- 5:20death for 72 hours straight and say well
- 5:24let's figure out what your aims are you
- 5:25gonna have some aims whatever they are
- 5:27and they might say well I'm so depressed
- 5:29I don't have any aims and then I say
- 5:30well pick the least objectionable of the
- 5:32aims and act it out for a while and see
- 5:34what happens because sometimes your
- 5:35emotions your emotional systems are so
- 5:38fouled up that you have to pretend you
- 5:41have to act the thing out before you can
- 5:42start to believe it
- 5:47life can be meaningful enough to justify
- 5:50its suffering my god that's such a good
- 5:52idea because it's not optimistic exactly
- 5:55you know some people will tell you what
- 5:56you can be happy it's like those people
- 5:58are idiots I'm telling you they're
- 6:00idiots there's gonna be things that come
- 6:01along that flatten you so hard you won't
- 6:03believe it and you're not happy then and
- 6:06so if life is to be happy well in those
- 6:07situations what are you doing I even
- 6:09live but let isn't life isn't to be
- 6:12happy if you're happy your bloody
- 6:14fortunate and you should enjoy it you
- 6:16should because it's the grace of God so
- 6:17to speak
- 6:22people know when they're doing something
- 6:24meaningful they can tell so why the hell
- 6:26don't they do meaningful things all the
- 6:27time it seems obvious you could do it I
- 6:30mean it's hard you know because other
- 6:31people want you to do other things and
- 6:33it's a struggle but everything's a
- 6:35struggle oh I get it I see why it took
- 6:39me about 10 years to figure this out
- 6:40people have a choice choice number one
- 6:42nothing you do means anything well
- 6:45that's kind of a drag right
- 6:46meaninglessness of life and all that
- 6:48existential angst you know that's kind
- 6:50of a pain but the upside of nothing that
- 6:53you do be meaning is meaningful is you
- 6:56don't have to do anything
- 6:57you've got no responsibility now you
- 6:59have to suffer because things are
- 7:00meaningless but that's a small price to
- 7:01pay the alternative the alternative is
- 7:07everything you do matters really if you
- 7:10make a mistake it's a real mistake if
- 7:13you betray someone you tilt the world a
- 7:15little more sharply towards evil rather
- 7:17than good it matters what you do well if
- 7:20you buy that then you can have a
- 7:21meaningful life but there's no mucking
- 7:24around it means responsibility it means
- 7:27that the decisions you make are
- 7:28important it means that when you do
- 7:31something wrong it's wrong well do you
- 7:34want that
- 7:42[Music]
- 7:54[Music]
- 8:11you know if you take people then you
- 8:13expose them voluntarily to things that
- 8:15they are avoiding and are afraid of you
- 8:18know that they know they need to
- 8:19overcome in order to meet their goals
- 8:21their self defined goals if you can
- 8:23teach people to stand up in the face of
- 8:25the things they're afraid of they get
- 8:27stronger and you don't know what the
- 8:29upper limits to that are because you
- 8:30might ask yourself like if for ten years
- 8:33if you didn't avoid doing what you knew
- 8:35you needed to do what would you be like
- 8:39well you know there are remarkable
- 8:42people who come into the world from time
- 8:43to time and there are people who do find
- 8:45out over decades long periods what they
- 8:48could be like if they were who they were
- 8:50if they spoke their being forward and
- 8:54they'd get stronger and stronger and
- 8:56stronger and we don't know the limits to
- 8:58that we do not know the limits to that
- 9:00[Music]
- 9:04probably running at about 51% of our
- 9:07capacity something mean you can think
- 9:09about this yourselves I often ask
- 9:11undergraduates how many hours a day you
- 9:14waste or how many hours a week you waste
- 9:16and the classic answer is something like
- 9:184 to 6 hours a day
- 9:20you know inefficient studying watching
- 9:23things on YouTube that not only do you
- 9:25not want to watch that you don't even
- 9:26care about that make you feel horrible
- 9:28about watching after you're done
- 9:30that's probably four hours right there
- 9:31no and you think well that's 2025 hours
- 9:35a week it's a hundred hours a month
- 9:36that's two and a half full work weeks
- 9:38it's half a year of work weeks per year
- 9:41and so if your life isn't everything it
- 9:43could be you could ask yourself well
- 9:45what would happen if you just stop
- 9:46wasting the opportunities that are in
- 9:49front of you you be who knows how much
- 9:52more efficient ten times more efficient
- 9:54twenty times more efficient
- 9:56that's the Pareto distribution you have
- 9:58no idea how efficient efficient people
- 10:01get it's completely it's off the charts
- 10:04it's not so obvious to me that people
- 10:06would take the meaningful path now when
- 10:09you say well denialists suffered
- 10:11dreadfully because there's no meaning in
- 10:12their life and they still suffer yeah
- 10:13but the advantages they have no
- 10:15responsibilities so that's the payoff
- 10:17and I actually think that's the motive
- 10:19say well I can't help being nihilistic
- 10:21all my belief systems have collapsed
- 10:22it's like yeah maybe maybe you've just
- 10:25allowed them to collapse because it's a
- 10:27hell of a lot easier than asking about
- 10:28and the price you pay is some
- 10:30meaningless suffering but you can always
- 10:31whine about that and people feel sorry
- 10:33for you if you live a pathological life
- 10:37you pathologize your society and if
- 10:40enough people do that then it's hell
- 10:43really really
- 10:50[Music]
- 11:02[Music]
- 11:16you're asked to outline the place you'd
- 11:19like to end up which is your desired
- 11:20future and also the place that you could
- 11:23end up if you let everything fall apart
- 11:25is so that your anxiety chases you and
- 11:28your approach systems pull you forward
- 11:31your maximally motivated debt and it's
- 11:34important because otherwise you can be
- 11:36afraid of pursuing the things that you
- 11:38want to pursue right and that's very
- 11:39common and so then the fear inhibits you
- 11:42as the promise pulls you forward but it
- 11:44makes you weak because you're afraid you
- 11:46want to get your fear behind you pushing
- 11:48you and so what you want to be is afraid
- 11:50more afraid of not pursuing your goals
- 11:53then you are of pursuing them putting
- 11:57yourself in a challenging mind frame is
- 11:58much better much easier on you cycle
- 12:01physiologically because you don't
- 12:02produce you don't go into the
- 12:03generalized stress response to the same
- 12:05degree and you're activating your
- 12:07exploratory and seeking systems which
- 12:09are dopaminergic Lee mediated and that
- 12:11involve positive emotion so if you can
- 12:14face something voluntarily rather than
- 12:16having it chase you it's way better for
- 12:18you cycle physiologically so that's
- 12:22partly why
- 12:22well it's worthwhile to go find the
- 12:24dragon in its lair instead of waiting
- 12:26for it to come and eat you so and
- 12:29especially when you also add the idea
- 12:31that if you go find the dragon in its
- 12:32lair you might find it when it's a baby
- 12:34instead of a full fledged bloody monster
- 12:37that is definitely gonna take you down
- 12:39don't avoid small problems that you know
- 12:41are there face them because they'll grow
- 12:44into big problems all by themselves and
- 12:47you can think about imagine the tax
- 12:49department sends you a notification you
- 12:51owe them like three hundred dollars well
- 12:53it's you know that's annoying maybe you
- 12:56don't even want to open the letter or
- 12:57maybe if you do you just put it on the
- 12:59shelf but that damn thing doesn't just
- 13:01sit there like a piece of paper on the
- 13:02Shelf right you ignore that for five or
- 13:05six years it's gonna become attached to
- 13:07all sorts of horrible things and if you
- 13:09ignore it long enough you get the idea
- 13:11it's gonna turn into something that is
- 13:13completely unlike the little piece of
- 13:15paper that it's written on and and many
- 13:18many problems in life or like that
- 13:20you'll see they'll you'll see that they
- 13:22pop their ugly little hand up and you
- 13:24know
- 13:25and you might want to turn away my not a
- 13:27want not want to think about it which is
- 13:29the easiest way of turning away right
- 13:31you just don't attend to it you know if
- 13:34you could have your life the way you
- 13:35wanted it in three to five years if you
- 13:37were taking care of yourself properly
- 13:39you know what would you want from your
- 13:41friendships what would you want from
- 13:42your intimate relationship how would you
- 13:44like to structure your family what do
- 13:45you want for your career well how are
- 13:47you going to use your time outside of
- 13:49your job and how are you gonna regulate
- 13:51your mental physical mental and physical
- 13:53health and maybe also your drug and
- 13:55alcohol use because that's that's a good
- 13:57place to auger down you know because
- 13:58alcoholism for example wipes out you
- 14:00know five to ten percent of people so
- 14:02you want to keep that under control and
- 14:06then so maybe you develop a vision of
- 14:09what your life what you would like your
- 14:11life to be and that associates the so
- 14:15the goal well once the goal is
- 14:16established and then you break down the
- 14:19goal into micro processes that you can
- 14:21implement the micro process has become
- 14:23rewarding in relation to their causal
- 14:26association with the goal and that
- 14:28tangles in your your incentive reward
- 14:30system and that's the thing that keeps
- 14:32you moving forward and the way it works
- 14:34is that it works better if it produces
- 14:37positive emotion when it can see you
- 14:39moving towards a valued goal okay well
- 14:42what's the implication of that better
- 14:44have a valued goal because otherwise you
- 14:46can't get any positive motivation
- 14:47working out and so the more valuable the
- 14:50goal in principle the more the micro
- 14:52process is associated with that goal
- 14:54start to take on a positive charge and
- 14:56so what that means is well you get up in
- 14:58the morning and you're excited about the
- 15:00day you're ready to go and so as far as
- 15:02I can tell what you do is you specify
- 15:04your long-term ideal maybe you also
- 15:07specify a place you want to stay the
- 15:09hell away from so that you're terrified
- 15:10to fail as well as excited about
- 15:12succeeding because that's also useful
- 15:14you specify your goal you do that you do
- 15:18that in some sense as a unique
- 15:20individual you want to you want to
- 15:21specify goals that make you say oh if
- 15:24that could happen as a consequence of my
- 15:26efforts it would clearly be worthwhile
- 15:28because the question always is why do
- 15:31something because doing nothing is easy
- 15:33you just sit there and you don't do
- 15:34anything that's real easy the question
- 15:36is why would you ever do anything
- 15:38and the answer that has to be because
- 15:39you've determined by some means that
- 15:42it's worthwhile number one specify your
- 15:46dam goals because how are you gonna hit
- 15:47something if you don't know what it is
- 15:49that isn't going to happen and often
- 15:51people won't specify their goals too
- 15:52because they don't like to specify
- 15:54conditions for failure so if you keep
- 15:56yourself all vague and foggy which is
- 15:58real easy because that's just a matter
- 16:00of not doing as well then you don't know
- 16:02when you fail and people might say well
- 16:04I really don't want to know when I fail
- 16:05because that's painful so I'll keep
- 16:07myself blind about when I fail that's
- 16:10fine except you'll fail all the time
- 16:11then you just won't know it until you've
- 16:13failed so badly that you're done okay so
- 16:20once you get your goal structure set up
- 16:22you think okay if I can have this life
- 16:24looks like that might be worth living
- 16:26despite the fact that it's going to be
- 16:28you know anxiety provoking and
- 16:30threatening and there's going to be some
- 16:31suffering and loss involved in all of
- 16:33that obviously the goal is to to have a
- 16:36vision for your life such that all
- 16:38things considered that justifies your
- 16:41effort okay so then what do you do well
- 16:45then then you turn down to the micro
- 16:47routines it's like okay well this is
- 16:48what I'm aiming for how does that
- 16:50instantiate itself day to day week to
- 16:52week month to month and that's where
- 16:54something like a schedule can be
- 16:56unbelievably useful Google Calendar it's
- 16:58like make a damn schedule and stick to
- 17:00it
- 17:01okay so what's the rule with the
- 17:02schedule it's not a bloody prison that's
- 17:06the first thing that people do wrong
- 17:07they say well I don't like to have
- 17:08follow a schedule it's like well what
- 17:10kind of schedule are you setting up well
- 17:12I should I have to do this then I have
- 17:13to do this then I have to do this you
- 17:16know and then I just go play video games
- 17:17because who wants to do all these things
- 17:18that I have to do
- 17:19it's like wrong set the damn schedule up
- 17:22so that you have the day you want
- 17:28[Music]
- 17:37[Music]
- 17:49[Music]
- 18:05you
- 18:09what's the right ratio of responsibility
- 18:12to reward and you can ask yourself that
- 18:15just like you'd negotiate with someone
- 18:16who is working for you it's like okay
- 18:18you got work tomorrow okay so I want you
- 18:21to work tomorrow and you might say okay
- 18:22well what are you gonna do for me that
- 18:24makes it likely that I'll work for you
- 18:27well you could ask yourself that you
- 18:30know maybe you do an hour of
- 18:32responsibility and then you play a video
- 18:34game for 15 minutes I don't know
- 18:35whatever turns your crank man but you
- 18:38know you have to negotiate with yourself
- 18:40and not tyrannize yourself like you're
- 18:43negotiating with someone that you care
- 18:45for that you would like to be productive
- 18:47and have a good life and and that's how
- 18:49you make the schedule it's like and then
- 18:50you look at the day and you think well
- 18:52if I had that day that'd be good
- 18:53great you know and you you're useless
- 18:56and horrible so you'll probably only hit
- 18:57it with about 70% accuracy but that
- 19:00beats the hell out of zero right and if
- 19:03you hit it even with 50% accuracy
- 19:05another rule is well aim for 51% the
- 19:08next week or 50 and a half percent for
- 19:11God's sake or because you're gonna hit
- 19:13that position where things start to loop
- 19:16back positively and spiral you upward
- 19:18and so so that's one way that you can
- 19:21work on your conscientiousness there's a
- 19:23plan of life you'd like to have another
- 19:25way you do that is by having a little
- 19:27conversation with yourself about as if
- 19:30you don't really know who you are
- 19:31because you know what you're like you
- 19:32won't do what you're told you won't do
- 19:34what you tell yourself to do you must
- 19:36have noticed that it's like you're a bad
- 19:39employee and a worse boss and both of
- 19:41those work you know for you
- 19:48you don't know what you want to do and
- 19:50then when you tell yourself what to do
- 19:51you don't do it anyway so you should
- 19:53fire yourself and find someone else to
- 19:55beat but but you know my point is is
- 19:58that you have to understand that you're
- 20:00not your own servant so to speak you're
- 20:02someone that you have to negotiate with
- 20:03and that's and you're someone that you
- 20:06want to present the opportunity of
- 20:08having a good life to and that's hard
- 20:10for people because they don't like
- 20:11themselves very much
- 20:12so you know they're always like cracking
- 20:15the whip and then procrastinating and
- 20:17cracking the whip and then
- 20:18procrastinating and it's like god it's
- 20:20so boring and such a pathetic way of
- 20:22spending your time and you know what
- 20:24that's like because you probably waste
- 20:25like six hours a day and I think we did
- 20:27an economic calculation about that
- 20:29awhile back right your time is probably
- 20:30worth 50 bucks an hour something like
- 20:32that
- 20:33I mean you're not getting paid that now
- 20:34but you're young and so this is
- 20:37investment time and what you do now is
- 20:39going to multiply its effects in the
- 20:41future so so let's say it's 50 bucks an
- 20:43hour which is perfectly reasonable so if
- 20:45you weigh six hours a day and you are
- 20:47then you're wasting about two thousand
- 20:49dollars a week or about $100,000 a year
- 20:51so like go ahead but that's what it's
- 20:53costing you every hour and you need to
- 20:55know what your damn time is worth so
- 20:57let's say it's not fifty bucks its
- 20:58thirty whatever maybe it's a hundred
- 21:01it's somewhere in that range one of the
- 21:03things you should be asking yourself is
- 21:04when you spend an hour was that well
- 21:06what have I paid someone fifty bucks to
- 21:09have had that hour and if the answer is
- 21:11no it's like well maybe you should do
- 21:12something else with your time and it
- 21:15depends on whether or not you think that
- 21:16your time is worthwhile but the funny
- 21:18thing about not assuming that is if you
- 21:20assume your time isn't worthwhile what
- 21:23happens is you don't just sit around
- 21:24sort of randomly in a state of
- 21:26responsibility less bliss what you do is
- 21:29you suffer existentially and so that
- 21:32seems like a stupid solution
- 21:37you
- 21:42[Music]
- 21:54[Music]
- 22:12[Music]
- 22:14imagine someone that you treat well that
- 22:18you love and try to treat yourself that
- 22:21way you got to detach from yourself a
- 22:22bit you got to think okay well I'm a
- 22:25person among other people and I deserve
- 22:28at least as much respect as a person
- 22:31among other people and I should be
- 22:33trying to help myself across time and
- 22:35instead of being self contemptuous and
- 22:38self destructive I need to take care of
- 22:40myself as if I'm potentially valuable
- 22:43and to lay out my life that way and so
- 22:46that's what that's that chapter is about
- 22:47and it's it's hard for people you know
- 22:52they don't take care of themselves as
- 22:54well as they should and I don't mean you
- 22:56know take care of yourself I mean that
- 22:57is what I mean it's like it's not a
- 23:00moralistic attack it's like it's an
- 23:04encouragement to give yourself a bit of
- 23:07the benefit of the doubt take care of
- 23:09your room take care of your things like
- 23:11have some respect for yourself it's like
- 23:14you are there's a lot of potential
- 23:16within you and there's many things that
- 23:18you can do and you're necessary you're
- 23:21necessary more than you think to the
- 23:24unfolding of things like if you make a
- 23:26bunch of bad decisions things get worse
- 23:29not just for you like things get worse
- 23:32and so it matters what you do and so
- 23:34part of what you do is you want to treat
- 23:36yourself as if what you do matters and
- 23:38so you want to have some respect for
- 23:40yourself
- 23:42[Music]
- 23:49[Music]
- 24:01[Music]
- 24:17young people like to think about ways to
- 24:20change the world right and that's
- 24:21actually a positive part of their
- 24:22development it's a stage that the
- 24:24developmental psychologist Jean Piaget
- 24:26called the messianic stage and he
- 24:28associated that with late adolescence
- 24:30while young people want to change the
- 24:32world and the problem is is that that's
- 24:34being harnessed into attempts to change
- 24:37other people but that isn't what you
- 24:38should do if you want to change the
- 24:40world you should change yourself
- 24:43in the sense that Alexander Solzhenitsyn
- 24:46said when he analyzed the Soviet Union
- 24:48he said don't be thinking that the line
- 24:50that divides good from evil runs down a
- 24:53political spectrum or or countries or
- 24:56something like that it runs down right
- 24:58down the middle of your soul and if you
- 25:00want to sort out the world and what you
- 25:01do is you sort yourself out it's a
- 25:04serious business they say it's more
- 25:06difficult to rule yourself than to rule
- 25:08a city because you're complicated and
- 25:12there are horrible monsters inside of
- 25:13you that need to be tamed and to be
- 25:15brought and to be brought into alignment
- 25:18and submission so that you can be US
- 25:20powerful and useful person and instead
- 25:22of rushing out there to change the world
- 25:24by changing other bad people that they
- 25:26should look inward and sort themselves
- 25:28out properly and if if you have a memory
- 25:31that's more than eighteen months old
- 25:33approximately and when you pull that
- 25:36memory up to mind if you still have an
- 25:38emotional reaction that means you
- 25:40haven't fully articulated the memory you
- 25:43haven't analyzed it causally you haven't
- 25:46you haven't freed yourself from its
- 25:48grasp and you're carrying it like a
- 25:50weight and your brain responds to that
- 25:52like the more of more weight you're
- 25:54carrying like that more baggage let's
- 25:56say the more of the stress hormone
- 25:58cortisol your brain produces and
- 26:01cortisol makes you old divide your life
- 26:03up into six epochs and then divide each
- 26:06of those eat that might be say old birth
- 26:09to kindergarten and then maybe
- 26:10elementary school and then maybe junior
- 26:12high school however you want to do it
- 26:13and then to write about the emotionally
- 26:16significant events in each of those
- 26:18epochs and then to describe their
- 26:20effects on you
- 26:22to analyze how you did in those
- 26:24situations what you might have done
- 26:26differently what you might have do
- 26:27differently in the future to straighten
- 26:29out your past
- 26:40or if you're thinking about your past
- 26:43what it means is you haven't analyzed
- 26:46the causal chains because you might say
- 26:48well why do you remember your past well
- 26:50you might say well it's in order to have
- 26:52an objective no record of the past it's
- 26:54like it has nothing to do with that
- 26:55there's only one reason you remember the
- 26:57past and that's to be prepared for the
- 27:00future that's why you remember the past
- 27:02and so what you're supposed to do is
- 27:04take the past and extract out from it
- 27:06wisdom and wisdom is the ability to
- 27:09avoid stumbling blindly into ditches
- 27:13here's a time in my past I stumbled
- 27:16blindly into this horrible ditch and
- 27:18terrible things happen to be you need to
- 27:21take that apart you need to figure out
- 27:22how was it that events conspired with
- 27:26your participation voluntarily or
- 27:29involuntarily so that that terrible
- 27:31consequence emerged you need to know why
- 27:34that happened and how you could react
- 27:36differently in that situation and as
- 27:38soon as you do that your brain leave it
- 27:41alone it won't obsess you about it
- 27:42anymore because the anxiety-producing
- 27:44parts of your brain are basically trying
- 27:47to tell you where there are obstacles in
- 27:49your environment
- 27:50[Music]
- 27:53don't go there there's fire maybe you
- 27:57could master the fire right then you're
- 27:59a wielder a fire you're not just a
- 28:01victim and loss of situations our
- 28:04dangers are not dangerous depending on
- 28:06your level of mastery right life is like
- 28:09that and so a negative emotion that's
- 28:12associated with the memories is
- 28:13something that's crying out for mastery
- 28:16and writing can really help with that
- 28:18you're reorganizing your brain when you
- 28:21write autobiographically imagine emotion
- 28:27memories can be stored at different
- 28:28levels of your brain some from sort of
- 28:30primordial reptilian image Laden areas
- 28:34that are very emotional up to finally
- 28:37articulated plans for your future life
- 28:40well you want to take everything that's
- 28:42negative and emotional and transform
- 28:45that into a fully articulated vision for
- 28:48your future and that frees you of your
- 28:50past you shouldn't be thinking about
- 28:52your past I mean maybe if you're 80 and
- 28:55you know you're going over a well-spent
- 28:56life that's a little different thing but
- 28:58if you're thirty thirty-five or twenty
- 29:00and most of the time you're thinking
- 29:01about your past it's like it's like your
- 29:03soul is trapped back there you need to
- 29:07free it through investigation and the
- 29:09metaphysical language is appropriate
- 29:10because that is in the sense what you're
- 29:12doing you're trapped in the past it's
- 29:14like you got to break free of that so
- 29:15you can use all your resources to move
- 29:17ahead into the future
- 29:20[Music]
- 29:32you
- 29:41you
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