Walking Stories: Breaking the Silence on Mental Health | Mariam Simbeye | TEDxDaresSalaamIntlAcademy — Transcript

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1. 0:03I ask myself why is it that I can talk
2. 0:06to a friend about what's happening in my
3. 0:08life but I find it hard to say I need
4. 0:10help I find it hard to say I'm
5. 0:12struggling in this area of my life why
6. 0:15is it that it's easy for a friend to
7. 0:18tell you what's happening with the
8. 0:19latest football match or to talk about
9. 0:22what's happening you know the rumors um
10. 0:24in class but it's hard to Simply say I'm
11. 0:27not feeling my best right now now now I
12. 0:30think that the
13. 0:33fear that comes from talking about it is
14. 0:37stemming from three things the fear of
15. 0:39rejection the fear of judgment and the
16. 0:41fear of being taken seriously when
17. 0:43you're struggling we've been conditioned
18. 0:45to believe that it's a weakness for you
19. 0:47to admit it we've also been conditioned
20. 0:49to believe uh to say that uh
21. 0:51vulnerability is a weakness when you are
22. 0:54in an accident and you break your leg
23. 0:55and a doctor tells you you have to wear
24. 0:57a cast you proudly walk around with a
25. 1:00cast on your leg but when you're
26. 1:01struggling with your mental health it's
27. 1:04hard to voice those words and even if
28. 1:06you do find the courage to say you need
29. 1:08help it's often hard for the person
30. 1:10listening to hold space for you it's
31. 1:13hard because you know what do you say
32. 1:16we're not even taught the language to
33. 1:17say when someone says I'm struggling or
34. 1:19I have depression we don't have that
35. 1:21language yet so there's often this
36. 1:24awkward silence that follows the
37. 1:25statements there's often this this I
38. 1:29don't know stare where people don't know
39. 1:31what to say and you know and the
40. 1:38dreaded there's a lot of that because we
41. 1:41don't have the language right and so
42. 1:44what ends up happening is that when a
43. 1:46person struggles with their mental
44. 1:47health they don't want to hear they
45. 1:49don't want to hear that uh someone I
46. 1:53know someone's father someone's mother
47. 1:55has been through that they kind of just
48. 1:57want to be understood they kind of just
49. 1:59want to be empathized with and they just
50. 2:01want to feel supported but are we
51. 2:04prepared to have this language you know
52. 2:06are we prepared to have this
53. 2:07conversations when someone close to us
54. 2:10struggles and says they need
55. 2:12help I think we're not which is why
56. 2:15conversations on Mental Health are often
57. 2:17shrouded in stigma we can talk about all
58. 2:19of these things every day but until
59. 2:21we're ready to offer support or to
60. 2:25empathize with a person struggling with
61. 2:26the mental health or to understand their
62. 2:28struggle we will not offer the kind of
63. 2:31help that the person needs now according
64. 2:34to the World Health Organization one in
65. 2:36four people struggle with the mental
66. 2:38health or neurological disorder this
67. 2:40means count yourself one of you if
68. 2:45you're four struggles with their mental
69. 2:47health in
70. 2:51Tanzania a struggling
71. 2:5463.9% of people currently are living
72. 2:58with mental health uh issue or neur
73. 3:00neurological disorders but show no
74. 3:02symptoms of it this means that a lot of
75. 3:05us have mental health problems that we
76. 3:08do not know of and only
77. 3:1013.71% of people struggling are reported
78. 3:14to have depression so why do we have
79. 3:17this disparity how is it that there are
80. 3:19more people suffering and only less
81. 3:21people reporting it why do we have the
82. 3:23disparity I think we have the disparity
83. 3:26because we don't know how to hold
84. 3:27conversations on Mental Health
85. 3:31and we are
86. 3:33distracted we have so many people on
87. 3:36social media with our phones and all
88. 3:38little gadgets and we know what's
89. 3:40happening to a person in the us but we
90. 3:42don't know what's happening to our
91. 3:43friend next to us our families don't
92. 3:46know how to support us they don't know
93. 3:48how to give us the right language when
94. 3:50we say we're struggling and because of
95. 3:53this I think we're all living in a
96. 3:55Perpetual state of
97. 3:57Darkness but there is hope
98. 4:00when you're struggling with your mental
99. 4:01health often times you find what you
100. 4:03need to hear is that you're not alone
101. 4:05and the beauty in that is that we all
102. 4:08have struggles it's not unique we all
103. 4:10have struggles we're all struggling with
104. 4:12something in this room right now and if
105. 4:14you're brave enough to have that
106. 4:16conversation you just want to hear that
107. 4:18you're not the only one going through it
108. 4:20so I started this conversation by saying
109. 4:23I'm going to tell you a few stories and
110. 4:26before I tell that story I need us to
111. 4:28understand three things right when a
112. 4:30person suffers from mental health and
113. 4:33this by the way is not just limited to
114. 4:34mental health but for the sake of this
115. 4:36conversation let's talk about mental
116. 4:38health um you need to be empathized with
117. 4:41right you need someone to offer you
118. 4:43compassion and you need someone to offer
119. 4:44you understanding these three things can
120. 4:47go a long way for you to find those
121. 4:49words to Simply say I need help if
122. 4:52someone can offer you the space to say
123. 4:54that then you will be able to survive
124. 4:57whatever struggle that you have or the
125. 4:59very at least know that you're supported
126. 5:01as you're struggling through that now a
127. 5:05few years ago
128. 5:07personally I struggled with my mental
129. 5:10health and no one knew I was excelling
130. 5:13in class I had a lot of things going
131. 5:15right for me I couldn't pinpoint what
132. 5:16was wrong but I still struggled the
133. 5:20worst part of it was that I was doing so
134. 5:22well it was hard to believe I was
135. 5:25struggling I took the step by asking for
136. 5:28help I went and talked to someone and I
137. 5:31said I'm struggling my first
138. 5:33conversation on Mental Health the person
139. 5:36listened to me said sounds like you may
140. 5:38be depressed now I think I'm well read
141. 5:43I've spent entire my entire uh teenage
142. 5:46years reading a lot but this was the
143. 5:48first time I was hearing the words
144. 5:50depression uttered to me and through
145. 5:53that story through that Journey that I
146. 5:55had with this person who I I spoke to I
147. 5:58was able to learn about this portal this
148. 6:01portal of a world that no one in my life
149. 6:04had ever introduced to me so I walked
150. 6:07into the mental health world because I
151. 6:10was struggling now I know there's some
152. 6:12of you here who may be going through
153. 6:14something similar or you know someone
154. 6:16who's going through something similar So
155. 6:18based on my story based on what happened
156. 6:20and what I experienced I learned the
157. 6:22three things that we need to do if
158. 6:24someone comes to us and wants to talk to
159. 6:26us about their mental health or if you
160. 6:29want to talk to someone about your
161. 6:30mental health the first thing you need
162. 6:32to do is to listen listen and believe
163. 6:35when the person tells you they're
164. 6:36struggling often times we don't know how
165. 6:39to utter the
166. 6:41words like I said we don't have the
167. 6:43language yet we're not a community that
168. 6:46Fosters those kinds of conversations so
169. 6:48when a person tells you that they're
170. 6:50struggling with a mental health believe
171. 6:51them they don't have to be crying all
172. 6:54night sleeping in all day they may be
173. 6:57excelling they may be at tedex
174. 6:59conference right now
175. 7:01watching believe them when they say
176. 7:03they're struggling the second thing I
177. 7:05think we should do is offer empathy now
178. 7:08simple terms empathy is simply to put
179. 7:11yourself in the in the other person's
180. 7:12shoe now that may be difficult for some
181. 7:14of us right uh but instead if you choose
182. 7:18to do number one if you believe that a
183. 7:21person is struggling you don't have to
184. 7:22have reasons you don't need to see
185. 7:24scientific proof that this person is
186. 7:26struggling like I said in the beginning
187. 7:28if you're in accident you have a past
188. 7:30right you have proof that someone is
189. 7:32injured you don't need to see that you
190. 7:34can simply believe them and offer
191. 7:38empathy to them understand say hey I've
192. 7:40been through I may not be struggling
193. 7:42like that but I've been through
194. 7:43something similar I get it I'm
195. 7:45struggling in this maybe it's not my
196. 7:47mental health but I get it offer that
197. 7:49empathy because that's all someone needs
198. 7:51to hear and finally we need to break the
199. 7:54stigma now stigma comes because we don't
200. 7:56talk about mental health it's hush hush
201. 7:59I don't think I've never I started
202. 8:02having conversations on Mental Health in
203. 8:03my household after I started suffering
204. 8:05with my mental health no one prepared me
205. 8:07for that so how do we break the stigma
206. 8:10of this thing that's so taboo this thing
207. 8:12that no one talks about we're so
208. 8:15Carefree to talk about other things and
209. 8:17yet find it difficult to Simply talk
210. 8:18about our minds you educate yourself
211. 8:21educate yourself about mental health you
212. 8:23educate yourself you believe experts
213. 8:25when they tell you about mental health
214. 8:26but more than that challenge yourself to
215. 8:28breakr the stereotypes we we attach to
216. 8:31people who are struggling just because
217. 8:33someone is maybe suffering a little bit
218. 8:36and doesn't show it doesn't mean they
219. 8:38don't need help any less and in the same
220. 8:42you know in the same wave just because
221. 8:44someone isn't suffering or showing
222. 8:46symptoms of suffering doesn't mean they
223. 8:48need help any less we only challenge the
224. 8:52stigma by breaking these stereotypes and
225. 8:55offering conversation look to the person
226. 8:57next to you have you asked how they are
227. 9:00really do you know what your closest
228. 9:03friend is going through and not even a
229. 9:05closest friend that classmate in class
230. 9:06that doesn't really speak much you know
231. 9:09your your sister your brother your your
232. 9:11dad you know and don't get me I I I
233. 9:14don't have I don't actually have the
234. 9:16time to get to get into men and mental
235. 9:20health and how men really do not have
236. 9:23the space to talk about the mental
237. 9:25health so if you if you or you know
238. 9:28someone that struggling with a mental
239. 9:30health or you don't know someone that's
240. 9:31struggling with a mental health but you
241. 9:32can sense that this person may not be
242. 9:35okay start by asking how are you how are
243. 9:38you really feeling and if you asked that
244. 9:41question and you don't know how to
245. 9:43answer look inside really say how you're
246. 9:46feeling I don't know but maybe I'm not
247. 9:48feeling so great it's okay and it's
248. 9:52perfectly okay for you to not be feeling
249. 9:53so great so I I'd like to finish this by
250. 9:57saying de you''ve set up this platform
251. 10:01where we're talking about going Beyond
252. 10:03The Narrative this is one way to have
253. 10:05these conversations the fact that we're
254. 10:08here we're listening to this I'm saying
255. 10:10this I'm telling this story I hope
256. 10:12inspires you to also tell your story to
257. 10:16listen to others who tell theirs as well
258. 10:18because the beautiful thing is with
259. 10:21storytelling is that whenever a story is
260. 10:23told or you read from a book or a movie
261. 10:27that you like
262. 10:29there's a portal that opens and you find
263. 10:32yourself relating to the characters you
264. 10:34find yourself relating to the story
265. 10:36lines maybe the stories that need to be
266. 10:38told now are the ones that we don't
267. 10:40really have a chance to talk about the
268. 10:42ones shrouded in mental health in mental
269. 10:44health the one that you may be able to
270. 10:47tell so I hope as we leave this platform
271. 10:51here today you have this honest
272. 10:53conversations first with yourself and
273. 10:55then with the people next to you and
274. 10:57close to you thank you for
275. 11:00listening