Waiting — Transcript

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1. 0:00Well, I didn't expect to be chatting
2. 0:04with you guys today. Um, I was supposed
3. 0:08to meet a friend on Zoom to chat and um,
4. 0:13well, life happens and um, it didn't
5. 0:16happen, which is very much like the
6. 0:19world is right now, huh? And I had all
7. 0:22this energy to to chat. So, [laughter]
8. 0:25I thought, well, why not chat with you
9. 0:27guys, huh?
10. 0:29Um
11. 0:31yeah. Wow.
12. 0:36[sighs]
13. 0:43I just I really at times I just can't
14. 0:47believe
15. 0:48that um
16. 0:53what is inside of me is inside of me.
17. 0:56Huh? And my way of living in the world
18. 0:59is is natural and it's no effort and
19. 1:04it's just what is, you know, and and
20. 1:07there's no um like, "Oh my god, what's
21. 1:12happening?" Yeah. When I read the and I
22. 1:15read the headlines, I'm always going,
23. 1:17"Oh my god." You know, but it's not
24. 1:21cellular. It's more like mental of like
25. 1:24oh my god this now you know and I keep
26. 1:27saying 2027 2027
27. 1:30but this
28. 1:34getting to this place within
29. 1:41[sighs]
30. 1:43I never dreamed of it. I know I've said
31. 1:46this so many times but I truly never
32. 1:50dreamed of this. I mean, you know, all
33. 1:53the times I was in um a spiritual
34. 1:57community and heard the words
35. 2:00enlightenment, awakening,
36. 2:03um they became goals to attain. My mind
37. 2:06had all these ideas of what that meant
38. 2:09and where I was was never good enough
39. 2:12and on and on and on and on and I was
40. 2:15just so caught up in the mental plane
41. 2:19and the conditioning
42. 2:21from my childhood as well as the
43. 2:24conditioning from
44. 2:26um the spiritual community. So, you
45. 2:30know, to to get stripped,
46. 2:34you know, that's why it was so hard in
47. 2:37the beginning. You know, it's not like
48. 2:40just taking off your clothes. No, it's
49. 2:42like the layers had to get stripped
50. 2:45away. You know, the open centers felt
51. 2:49like they were being chiseled to get all
52. 2:52the stuff that got inside of it from the
53. 2:56moment I was born out.
54. 2:59You know, yes, things flow in now. I
55. 3:01mean, we're always being conditioned,
56. 3:04but they don't stick and they don't hurt
57. 3:08and they don't push me into action.
58. 3:12They don't make my mind crazy about
59. 3:15what's coming in. You know, I know it's
60. 3:17not me,
61. 3:19but this place, this space, I don't even
62. 3:23know what to call it. It's not
63. 3:26spiritual,
64. 3:28you know. It's it's natural. It's like,
65. 3:32you know, the the
66. 3:35consciousness came into form to have an
67. 3:38experience.
68. 3:41And you know
69. 3:45by honoring the form
70. 3:49the body the organic nature of this
71. 3:54human
72. 3:59that changed everything
73. 4:02and not letting this my mind drive this
74. 4:06anymore. You know, it's why, you know,
75. 4:09the last time I talked with you all, I
76. 4:13said the book is going to stay
77. 4:15unfinished. You know, [laughter]
78. 4:17it's here it is because this,
79. 4:22you know, might have. It didn't tell me
80. 4:24I should finish it, but it could have
81. 4:26very easily in the old days said, "You
82. 4:29have to finish this. Look what you
83. 4:31started. You have almost 200 pages,
84. 4:33blah, blah, blah." You know, all of
85. 4:35that. But nothing pushes this anymore.
86. 4:38This body,
87. 4:42even my own mind doesn't push it
88. 4:44anymore. Now, yeah, I'm 30 years from
89. 4:48starting with waiting, honoring the
90. 4:51form,
91. 4:53not having the mind be the authority
92. 4:56that runs my life. So, it's a long long
93. 4:59process
94. 5:01and it's a lot of moments
95. 5:05[laughter] to get to this phase. Huh.
96. 5:09But it's like
97. 5:11it's so simple and so
98. 5:17[sighs]
99. 5:20ordinary.
100. 5:22I mean, you know, it's not lights
101. 5:25flashing and it's just
102. 5:31Being present. Being present. Drinking
103. 5:34my coffee. Being present. Walking down
104. 5:37the street.
105. 5:39You know, it's just
106. 5:43the consciousness in the back seat
107. 5:46observing
108. 5:48and honoring the form for what the form
109. 5:50does in this life,
110. 5:53you know.
111. 5:56And it's it's so interesting to see what
112. 6:01this form says yes to and what the
113. 6:03energy says yes to and what it says no
114. 6:07to.
115. 6:10You know for so many of you we've gone
116. 6:13way back together. Huh? I mean so many
117. 6:17years.
118. 6:23And it has nothing my stopping the work
119. 6:26and being available has nothing to do
120. 6:29with the love that's there. It just has
121. 6:33to do with this form and the energy in
122. 6:37this form. It's like no,
123. 6:41but it feels so right, too. Huh? you
124. 6:44know, I'll be 77 this month. And it's
125. 6:48like, yeah, let's face it, I'm closer to
126. 6:52leaving than I am to when I came in. It
127. 6:56feels right to somehow
128. 6:59as as I leave to just have this space,
129. 7:03this time,
130. 7:05you know, not being any anything,
131. 7:10not being identified with anything.
132. 7:14And I still love chatting with you guys
133. 7:16when the energy is there.
134. 7:20But this is like, you know, I I I hope I
135. 7:24can find a way I'm I'm going to ask
136. 7:26Sergio, my my granddaughter's husband,
137. 7:30if he can find a way to add uh an image
138. 7:33at the end of this because I don't know
139. 7:35how to do any of these things.
140. 7:41I came across you and I was kind of
141. 7:43cleaning my computer. I've got 30 years
142. 7:46of human design stuff. I mean, you can
143. 7:49imagine you emails and lead. I mean, I
144. 7:54Anyway, I came across a
145. 7:57first
146. 7:59uh online free chart
147. 8:03and and what the strategy was. And it
148. 8:08said,
149. 8:10well, let me see if I remember. Wait to
150. 8:12respond or waiting to respond for the
151. 8:15generator and the manifesting gender. I
152. 8:17can't remember which, but waiting was a
153. 8:20big part of it. Now it says to respond.
154. 8:23And I'm so sorry that waiting is gone
155. 8:28because yes, I know so many generators
156. 8:31and even Ross said we respond all the
157. 8:34time. Yes, we do. I'm always responding
158. 8:38to life.
159. 8:39But to take any action other than the
160. 8:44movement in life, I need to wait to
161. 8:47respond.
162. 8:49And that waiting is was the key for me.
163. 8:53It's that waiting that really killed me.
164. 8:57not well I won't say killed me but you
165. 9:00know killed who I thought I was
166. 9:05you know dissolved who I thought I was
167. 9:11you know took away all the layers of the
168. 9:14conditioning that ran my life for so
169. 9:17many years
170. 9:20that waiting
171. 9:25and then you know If your sacral
172. 9:28authority as a generator or manifesting
173. 9:31generator, then you've got your sounds
174. 9:33to say yes or no. If you're emotional
175. 9:35after the waiting, you need to wait a
176. 9:37little more. That's part of it. But that
177. 9:40waiting was the key.
178. 9:43Waiting is incredible.
179. 9:46It's magical
180. 9:49and and nobody wants to wait. I mean, I
181. 9:52didn't want to wait. I was from New
182. 9:54York, you We wanted it yesterday.
183. 9:58But it's it's so such a thing,
184. 10:02you know. It's almost like when you
185. 10:05begin to wait, it's almost like you stop
186. 10:09moving towards,
187. 10:12you know, you you wait. You don't stop
188. 10:15and just sit and do nothing. You're in
189. 10:17your life. You know, you've got your
190. 10:19family, you've got your job,
191. 10:22but for anything to any action to take
192. 10:26place or new action to take place, then
193. 10:29you're waiting for something to come to
194. 10:32respond to.
195. 10:34And that was the hardest thing I ever
196. 10:36did, but it brought me here. So
197. 10:41it was worth it
198. 10:44because I mean
199. 10:47it's it's
200. 10:50not special. It's it's like nothing. I
201. 10:53don't even know how to say it. It's just
202. 10:55such a deep deep deep relaxation and
203. 10:59breath, big breath as myself and just
204. 11:06really enjoying being me and just loving
205. 11:09being me and and my interaction when
206. 11:14they happen and my non-interaction when
207. 11:17they happen and not caring what anyone
208. 11:20thinks about me and I mean all of that.
209. 11:23It's like such a such a a a freedom in a
210. 11:29sense and not like
211. 11:33uh you know a freedom of uh oh I have
212. 11:36freedom to write my free right to speech
213. 11:40and all of this stuff. It's this freedom
214. 11:43to just breathe and be me.
215. 11:47You know it's it's it's it's this
216. 11:50amazing
217. 11:52amazing
218. 11:54experience that
219. 11:56is just so ordinary, you know, it's it's
220. 12:00not special.
221. 12:02And uh and it's it's, you know, it's why
222. 12:06I called the book I wrote a revolution
223. 12:08of one. Why I called it a revolution of
224. 12:12one because [laughter]
225. 12:14you do it alone. You know, nobody sits
226. 12:18in the back seat with you. Nobody can
227. 12:20hold your hand.
228. 12:22I mean, it's because we're each so
229. 12:25unique. What we pass through is so
230. 12:27unique. What I pass through, no one's
231. 12:29going to pass through that. Everyone has
232. 12:32their own journey, their own
233. 12:33conditioning, their own life that's
234. 12:36going to unfold. And and and and it's
235. 12:39it's just one person at a time.
236. 12:46And
237. 12:48you know that's that's
238. 12:52what I wish for each of you
239. 12:55you know that that you live you
240. 13:01love you enjoy you.
241. 13:10Well I didn't expect to do that today.
242. 13:13[laughter]
243. 13:13So, thank you, friend, for not showing
244. 13:15up because
245. 13:17I really loved being with you guys.
246. 13:21Until next time. Bye.