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Unlocking Leadership with Simon Sinek: The Infinite Mindset | Full Conversation — Transcript

by Simon Sinek · 12,337 words · 1,681 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Simon thank you for joining us today and
0:02uh we're going to have a kind of an
0:03informal conversation and we might even
0:04have some time for for some questions
0:06from the audience so absolutely can you
0:08can you share your origin story what
0:10what's your hero origin story how did
0:11you come to be this expert on
0:14leadership so I'm not an expert on
0:16leadership an authority let's start
0:18there I don't think anybody's an expert
0:19on anything uh I'm a student of
0:22leadership still got lots of learning
0:23and still I still got a lot to learn and
0:25still learning um my uh origin story is
0:29not similar I think to a lot of people
0:31who to our careers which was an accident
0:34I didn't expect to be doing anything
0:35that I'm doing it started out of pain um
0:38I had a small business and um many of
0:42the people in this room will know the
0:43statistics in the United States which is
0:45the over 90% well into the 90th
0:47percentile small businesses will fail in
0:50the first three years well I survived
0:52three years which means I had now joined
0:53a very small Elite group in America
0:55called an entrepreneur and um my fourth
0:58year in business uh was awful I for some
1:01reason I'd lost the passion and I was
1:04very embarrassed by this because
1:07superficially everything looked good and
1:09yet I didn't want to wake up and go to
1:10work anymore and so all of my energy
1:13went into pretending that I was happier
1:15more successful and More in control than
1:17I felt uh which uh if you've ever been
1:19in a dark place pretending that you're
1:21happy makes you even go even darker and
1:24it wasn't until a dear friend of mine
1:26came to me and said something's wrong
1:27something's different did I come
1:29completely clean clean lifted this huge
1:31weight off my shoulders and now all that
1:33energy that I went to lying hiding and
1:35faking could now go into finding a
1:37solution and the solution was that I
1:39found was this thing called the why I
1:41knew what I did I knew how I did it but
1:43I didn't know why I became obsessed with
1:46this thing called the why I learn my why
1:48but more important I learned to help
1:50others find theirs and I would help my
1:52friends and they would find renewed
1:53passion in their Works they would
1:55sometimes take entrepreneurial Ventures
1:57themselves and people just kept inviting
1:59me and I just kept saying yes and the
2:00rest as they say is history it is so we
2:04most of us out here are chiropractors
2:06and 70% of all chiropractors are small
2:08business owners and but 100% of all
2:13doctors and healers are leaders so and
2:15we also throughout this whole week and
2:17we've carefully selected courses on
2:19leadership and strategy and how how to
2:22improve our our our serve but we also
2:25have technical classes but we want to
2:27make sure that we we get this out here
2:28so we ow people to become better leaders
2:31now Damon John's been one of our our our
2:33speakers here and he's as he usually ask
2:35us whenever I gets here he asked me for
2:37a two to five word Declaration of who
2:40you are like what do you what sets you
2:43apart what are the what's your driving
2:45passion do you have a a two to five word
2:47statement of your purpose of course I
2:51mean I wake up every single morning to
2:52inspire people to do the things that
2:54Inspire
2:55them so together each of us can change
2:58our world for the better and I live my
3:00life with a very clear Vision as well I
3:01imagine a world you said a little bit of
3:03it the up front I imagine a world in
3:05which the vast majority of people wake
3:07up every single morning inspired feel
3:09safe wherever they are and end the day
3:11fulfilled by the work that they do and
3:13I've committed my career and my life to
3:16advancing towards that Vision so what do
3:18most of us get wrong in
3:23leadership um I when you say what what
3:26do most people get wrong in leadership I
3:27think leadership is a misunderstood uh
3:30uh skill set one first of all it
3:32absolutely is a skill set there's no
3:33such thing as a natural born leader even
3:35the leaders that appear to have natural
3:36capacity I guaranteed they learned it
3:38when they were younger they had a mentor
3:39a parent a coach a guardian somebody
3:42that helped them learn these skills um
3:44uh number one leadership is nothing
3:47about being in charge it's the awesome
3:50responsibility uh to see those around us
3:52rise it's about taking care of those in
3:54our charge the closest analogy I can
3:57give to being a great leader is like
3:58being a great parent yes I know you
4:00don't get to pick your team sometimes
4:02but you don't get to pick your children
4:03either and yet you show up with love
4:04every day and you work tirelessly to see
4:07that they will gain the skills and the
4:09confidence to do well and Excel in their
4:11lives and great leaders are doing
4:12exactly the same thing and a and and
4:14Leadership is all about human skills um
4:17and leaders who become great leaders
4:20it's because they study leadership
4:22they're obsessed with it they read books
4:23about it they watch talks about it they
4:24read articles about it and when you go
4:26out with them all they want to do is
4:27talk about it they're obsessed with the
4:29concept just like parents no there's no
4:31such thing as an expert parent but you
4:33read articles you read books you talk to
4:35other parents and you solve problems
4:36along the way so in your book The
4:39Infinite game you you you call CEOs
4:42really cvos Chief Visionary officers so
4:46you're not the you're not there to be
4:47the boss as much as you are to share a
4:50vision would you like to expand upon
4:52that well I I think it's I think the
4:54concept of CEO is hilarious um because
4:57if you look at all the other sea level
4:59uh titles we know exactly what the job
5:02responsibility is in the title the CMO
5:05we know exactly what they do the CFO the
5:07CTO it says it right there yes if you
5:09can't read a p&l I'm not making you the
5:12CFO I don't need to look at your job
5:14experience um what the heck is a CEO
5:17what's an executive officer it doesn't
5:19tell us what the responsibility of that
5:22human being is and so you get a lot of
5:24people in that position who aren't
5:25necessarily qualified for that job I
5:28prefer the term CV a chief Vision
5:30officer someone who is the keeper and
5:32holder of where we are going of that
5:35idealized Vision that we striving
5:37towards um uh if you just have somebody
5:40who's obsessed with Finance in the C in
5:42the CEO position um what you'll find is
5:44that that organization becomes um much
5:47more finite minded much more short-term
5:49focused I want somebody long-term
5:51looking Beyond Horizons certainly when
5:53I've stumbled into mistakes along the
5:55way it's when I've failed to be the
5:58provide the vision and tried to be the
6:00boss yeah so your book The Infinite game
6:04I love it what is in the infinite game
6:07and what is a finite game and and what
6:10game were we playing so in the mid 1980s
6:14a philosopher and theologian by the name
6:15of Dr James kse defined these two types
6:18of games finite games and infinite games
6:20a finite game is defined as
6:24uh check check uh a f there we go uh a
6:29finite game is defined as known players
6:32fixed rules and an agreed upon objective
6:35agreed upon objective football baseball
6:38right if there's a winner necessarily
6:40they have to be losers but more
6:41important there's always a beginning a
6:44middle and an end and then you have
6:46infinite games infinite games are
6:49defined as known and unknown players
6:52which means you don't necessarily know
6:54who all the other players are and new
6:56players can join whenever they want uh
6:58the rules are changing
7:00which means every player can play
7:02however they want and the objective is
7:03to stay in the game as long as possible
7:05to perpetuate the game we are players in
7:08infinite games every day of Our Lives
7:10whether we know it or not no one in here
7:12will ever win Healthcare no one will
7:14ever win
7:15education um no one will ever be
7:18declared the winner of your
7:21marriage uh if you want to be number one
7:24in your marriage good luck with that
7:25that that's for sure you can be number
7:27two but you can't be number one um and
7:29there's definitely no such thing as
7:30winning business and yet when we listen
7:33to the language of so many people in
7:34business it becomes very very clear they
7:37don't know the game they're playing they
7:38talk about being number one or being the
7:40best or beating their competition based
7:43on what based on what agreed upon
7:46metrics time frames and objectives and
7:49this is a problem because when we play
7:52with a finite mindset in an infinite
7:53game when we play to win in a game that
7:55has no Finish Line there are some very
7:58predictable and consistent outcomes the
8:01big ones are the decline of trust the
8:03decline of cooperation and the decline
8:05of innovation like when Circuit City
8:07went bankrupt Best Buy didn't win
8:09anything right um and so we have to play
8:12for the game that we're in and if you're
8:14in business to stay in business versus
8:16if you want to just hit some Target and
8:18get out of it and you don't actually
8:19care if the business does good work um
8:22then you have to play for the mindset
8:23you're for for the game you're playing
8:25so as a profession we're in an infinite
8:27game we want to perpetuate we only have
8:29an impact as long as we survive Parker
8:32seminars we only have an impact which
8:34has been 73 years as long as we survive
8:38and but if if someone built a practice
8:40and they sold it the goal was to raise a
8:43build up a series of clinics and then
8:44sell it y That's a finite game well so
8:48let's the uh the infinite game is not
8:51the absence of finite games it's the
8:53context within which those finite games
8:55exist right so let me give you a better
8:57analogy we overuse Sports an analogies
8:59in business um Sports is always a
9:01beginning and middle end business NE not
9:03necessarily um uh here's a better
9:06analogy let's say you want to be healthy
9:09so I know there's many things you have
9:11to do you have to exercise you have to
9:12eat right you have to nurse your
9:14personal relationships get sleep you'll
9:16never be good at all those things all
9:17the time it's a striving um but there's
9:20nothing wrong with setting arbitrary
9:22goals there's nothing wrong with setting
9:23quarterly or annual goals for your
9:24business there's no problem with that
9:26like I want to lose x amount of weight
9:28by X date great great you do all the
9:30things you're supposed to do you stand
9:31on the scale every day we love a metric
9:34human beings need metrics you can't run
9:36a marathon without mile markers right
9:39it's actually unnerving so we like to
9:41measure things because it tells us speed
9:43and distance and sometimes it goes well
9:45and sometimes it goes badly and let's
9:47say you hit your goal by the right day
9:50on the right time ecstatic but here's
9:52the problem you have to keep doing it
9:54for the rest of your life the game's not
9:55over right um but what I think is more
9:58interesting is what what happens if you
9:59miss your goal right what happens if you
10:02don't lose the weight on the right day
10:03on the right time well the answer is
10:06nothing nothing happens nothing happens
10:09in fact you're way healthier now than
10:11when you started because you've been
10:12doing all the right things you just got
10:13the date wrong and we do the same thing
10:15in business right you can pick an
10:18arbitrary number to hit usually at the
10:20end of the year because that's when we
10:21pay taxes and you can strive towards
10:23that and if you're doing the right thing
10:24and building a healthy business if you
10:26hit your goal great it be ecstatic but
10:28keep working working at it but if you
10:29miss your goal the question is what's
10:31the trend and I think we need to pay
10:33more attention to not only if we hit the
10:35goal but how we hit the goal did you do
10:37it ethically or did you do it by
10:39stabbing people in the back cutting
10:40Corners you know cutting quality to to
10:43to drive margin that will hit you get
10:45let help you hit a few goals but over
10:47the long run you're going to do damage
10:49to the business um or uh are you
10:52building it in healthy way you just got
10:54the wrong date and you got the wrong
10:55time you're striving to build a healthy
10:57business and so if you if somebody's
11:00working to build that business are you
11:02going to sell a business that's healthy
11:04and somebody else can continue to run
11:06and that business will continue to do
11:07good in the world or do you just want to
11:09cash out and make your money and you put
11:10some lipstick on the pig and you don't
11:11care if you're just trying to put
11:13lipstick on the pig that's a finite
11:15mindset and I don't know what you've
11:17built but I guarantee you it'll be worth
11:19less than if you built a really healthy
11:21business that someone can can take on
11:23take along a nurse once you're gone very
11:26in other words infinite mindset still
11:27counts got right well I said most of us
11:30out here we're all leaders if whether
11:32you're having your own business or if
11:34you're a provider or if you're leading
11:36students what advice would you provide
11:38these doctors and their staff and their
11:40families for creating a culture of
11:42Excellence changing the culture to
11:45reflect a healthy culture where people
11:47are valued and that they're they feel
11:49valued and they were able to to to get
11:51things done in a in a more efficient way
11:55so one of the big mistakes we make
11:58especially if we're leading a practice
11:59practice we see this in healthcare a lot
12:01which is if you ask the leaders what's
12:02your priority they always say the
12:04patient uh that's not true um the leader
12:07is responsible for the people the people
12:10are responsible for the patients and if
12:11the people feel taken care of guess what
12:14they will do they will exert their
12:16energy to take care of the patients if
12:18the people don't feel safe they don't
12:19feel psychologically safe when they come
12:22to work if they don't feel uh seen or
12:24heard or understood by their leaders
12:26then they will take actions to protect
12:28themselves from their leaders which
12:29takes care away from the patients so it
12:31is a human Enterprise first and foremost
12:34and if you take care of the people
12:35internally they will take care of the
12:37business they will take greater Pride
12:39they will look for ways to save money
12:40etc etc I'll give you a real life
12:42example so um I I had a conversation
12:45with um the uh the food and beverage
12:48director at one of the Four Seasons
12:50Hotels Four Seasons is an is a extremely
12:52welll organization that understands that
12:55you take care of your people and your
12:56people take care of your customer um and
12:59they uh were telling me that that um uh
13:03that when they gave authority to their
13:05front line to decide like if they screw
13:07something up like do you comp a drink or
13:09comp a dessert or comp a meal um
13:12something strange happened which is they
13:14found the Frontline staff were stingier
13:15than the managers because they were so
13:17protective of the business right so
13:19they're not just giving away everything
13:21willy-nilly but that's only when the
13:23people feel like they matter and feel
13:25like they're a part of the business
13:26they'll treat it like their own that's
13:28great so we as chiroprator know our why
13:32to improve human health performance and
13:35well-being what advice would you give to
13:37us to expand our message how do we how
13:39can we get our message out in a way that
13:42would attract people to our practice in
13:45individually or as a as an industry
13:47let's do them both so individually um
13:50every single human being in here has
13:52their own personal why and if you have
13:54passion for uh your work then the odds
13:57are very high that your work is is
13:59helping you advance your own cause your
14:00own personal why right so the question
14:03is what's your why like I didn't wake up
14:06I didn't this is I'm not living my
14:07childhood dream here I didn't want to be
14:08a public speaker or an author I don't
14:10think any child wanted to be a writer I
14:12wasn't that kind of nerdy kid you know
14:14uh um so what kind of nerdy kid were you
14:17oh I like science fiction I went to
14:19space
14:21camp my sister makes fun of me because
14:23on when I I went to space camp when I
14:24was 13 and when I came back I wore my
14:26flight suit to
14:27school and
14:29everybody made fun of me but I knew they
14:33were just jealous so it's
14:35okay uh I mean I had wings I had my name
14:39patch you know American flag on the on
14:41the shoulder um yeah but the point is I
14:45don't think anybody here was was doing
14:47Chiropractic work on your teddy bears
14:50right like you're not this is not your
14:51childhood dream sometimes you fell into
14:53it by accident or sometimes you
14:55discovered it along the way so the
14:57question is what's your why and how does
14:58this help help you bring your why to
15:00life so if you want there are many ways
15:02to find your why I've written about it
15:03I've spoken about it but here's a fun
15:06way you can do it right it's called the
15:08friends
15:09exercise call a friend or sit down with
15:12a friend who one of your best friends
15:14the kind of person you love they love
15:15you you would be there for them at 3:00
15:17in the morning if they needed you and
15:19you you know that they would be there
15:20for three for you at 3 o'clock in the
15:22morning if you needed them do not do
15:24this with a spouse do not do this with a
15:26sibling do not do this with a parent uh
15:29those relationships are too close do it
15:31with a best friend and ask them the
15:34simple question why are we friends and
15:37they're going to look at you like you're
15:39insane because the part of the brain
15:41that controls our feelings our lyic
15:43brains like trust and loyalty and love
15:47doesn't control language and so that's
15:49why it's hard to put our emotions into
15:51words and so they won't be able to
15:54answer the question so you stop asking
15:56why you say come on what specifically is
15:59it about me that I know that you'd be
16:00there for me no matter what and they're
16:02going to struggle to answer the
16:04question and so they'll start saying
16:06things like I don't know uh you're a
16:10good person I trust you you've always
16:13been there for me and you play Devil's
16:15Advocate you go great that's the
16:17definition of a friend What specifically
16:19is it about me that I know you'd be
16:21there for me no matter what and again
16:23they're going to go through a few rounds
16:24of this don't help them don't let
16:25anybody else help them it's frustrating
16:27and eventually they'll give up and
16:30eventually they'll stop trying to
16:31describe you and they'll start
16:33describing themselves and they'll this
16:35is what my friend said to me they said
16:37Simon I don't know all I know is that I
16:39can just sit in a room with you I don't
16:41even have to talk to you and I feel
16:43inspired and I got goosebumps and that's
16:46what will happen to you which is they
16:47will say something that will tap you
16:50emotionally you'll well up with tears
16:51you'll get goosebumps something will
16:53happen and that's when you know that the
16:54value you have in the world your why is
16:57the thing that they value for from you
16:59most and so you'll you'll get in the
17:02ballpark and then your ability to put
17:04that into words your ability to talk
17:06about what you believe not what you do
17:08is the thing that inspires people to
17:10want to come and visit your practice
17:12over another practice so for me for
17:14example if I were a chiropractor or
17:15maybe I fell into this field and didn't
17:18follow the path that I did but my why
17:20would be the same I would say something
17:23like every single day I driven to
17:27inspire people to do the things that
17:29Inspire them and that's one of the
17:31things that I love not like love
17:34emotional word about being a
17:36chiropractor I know that people struggle
17:38when they're in pain I know people
17:40aren't at the best selves when they
17:41don't have Total Mobility and what I
17:43have found is by simply giving people
17:45the freedom to move the way that they
17:47that they want to move they can go off
17:49and do the things that they've dreamed
17:51about doing and I'm actually fulfilling
17:52my life's Purpose By Doing
17:54It Right that's very good
18:02well said we've got 500 students here
18:06and I always tell my students when they
18:07come to Parker seminars go talk to the
18:10chiropractors in the field go talk to
18:11them ask them if they like what they do
18:14ask them about their passion and you all
18:18are the best recruiters I have for for
18:20our our University it's the passion in
18:23in helping people but getting the
18:24message out and and then why do my
18:26patients come here will they trust you
18:29you have care that and if you're
18:31struggling with patients it might be
18:33that you need to evaluate you know some
18:36of your behaviors and and make sure that
18:38you I don't know meditate be more
18:39mindful with people would is there a way
18:41to you don't want to contrive who you
18:44are for business purposes you want
18:46you're asking people to be authentically
18:48authentic people at the end of the day
18:50it's a human Enterprise right which is
18:52you'll get clients that'll come and go
18:54for whatever reason but the ones who are
18:56loyal the ones who recommend you to
18:58others it's it's because they like you
19:00can they find somebody who does about
19:02the same work as you about the same
19:03quality about the same price yes to some
19:06degree there's a commoditization of of
19:09the skill set you know is someone
19:11slightly better at some things than
19:12others yes of course but they come back
19:14for you do you make them feel seen and
19:16heard and understood do you have
19:18listening skills right if somebody comes
19:21in grumpy are you just telling them to
19:22cheer up or you can you meet do you have
19:24the skill set to meet them where they
19:25are right and the more that people can
19:27feel
19:29like you care about them like a human
19:30being that you're not just going through
19:32the motions of doing the things that
19:34you've been taught that you're qualified
19:35to do the more they'll want to come back
19:38you know it's the same when we go
19:40shopping or go to a restaurant right we
19:42give big tips when somebody makes us
19:44feel like we matter we give small tips
19:48when people make don't make us feel like
19:49we matter regardless of the actual
19:51quality of the service you know whether
19:53something came out on time or not and so
19:56I think everybody has to remember you're
19:57interacting with human beings you more
19:59than anybody else can't do your work
20:01online it is a human Enterprise and the
20:03better you are at human skills the more
20:05you will comeand 11 loyalty and
20:07recommendations from those who come to
20:08see you so as we as we're we're we're
20:11growing in this manner and you and I
20:13talked about the emyth when we're behind
20:16stage is that something that might be a
20:18barrier to a chiropractor to grow the
20:21emth is is well maybe you can explain
20:24what the emth is and how what having
20:27relying too much on me being and the
20:28person the front person would interfere
20:31with us growing our practice well I'll
20:33tell you me personally it was the single
20:36biggest barrier to my own company's
20:39success to my own my own personal growth
20:41which is um I had to be in every meeting
20:43and make every decision I was the chief
20:45cook and bottle washer and I had
20:47employees but I empowered nobody and and
20:50I had to have all the new business I was
20:53I was the most qualified right I mean
20:56it's a highly stressful situation
20:59um and uh nothing gets done without me
21:02it's just not scalable uh you can have a
21:05job that way and this is what the emth
21:06Michael Gerber's book The emth he talks
21:08about this entrepreneurial myth the
21:10number of people who start a business
21:11they work harder and make less money
21:13than if they just had a job like what's
21:15the appeal well I want to be my own bus
21:17I I get that but you're making less
21:18money and working harder why don't you
21:20just go get a job right there has to be
21:22a real reason and the single biggest
21:24lesson that I learned that was a
21:26profound shift not only in my business
21:28business but in my own my own uh my own
21:32person my own confidence was when I
21:33learned to say I don't know and I need
21:36help those are the two single biggest
21:38things and to accept it when it was
21:40offered the amount of times people offer
21:42us help but we turn it down because we
21:43feel embarrassed or we don't want to
21:45bother them or we don't want them to
21:46think that we're struggling um and by
21:48the way this this degree of
21:50vulnerability saying I don't know I
21:51don't understand a lot of people are
21:54they first of all the word vulnerable
21:55scares them nobody wants to admit
21:58weakness now you don't have to be
21:59insecure when you admit vulnerability
22:02you can own it with confidence I'll give
22:04an example um yeah I love um I love
22:08being a chiropractor but I got to be
22:09honest with you I'm no I'm no good at
22:11the numbers um I find that really hard
22:14and I it's it's killing my practice and
22:16I really need help okay not not
22:19confidence inspiring right versus I love
22:22being a chiropractor my absolute
22:23favorite thing what I suck at is the
22:25numbers and what I really need help with
22:27is just somebody to show me how to run a
22:28piano and then I know that this thing
22:29will will Thrive it's the same thing one
22:32you own it and one you're embarrassed by
22:33it just own all the weaknesses own all
22:35the things you suck at and ask for
22:37help I can relate to that totally at
22:40College I I'm not an academician so I
22:42come here I I have World Authority on
22:45that I hired so then they they run it
22:48better than I could ever run it we've
22:50even hired a vice president of culture
22:52strategy someone to help us it's so
22:56valuable that our goal is to have our
22:59our culture be a competitive Advantage
23:02love how are organizations getting it
23:04right with culture how big organizations
23:06getting it wrong you can either have a
23:08culture by default or by Design and most
23:11people think about cultures most
23:12Business Leaders think about culture
23:14usually after something bad happens or
23:16when they're struggling with something
23:18or they they're they're they're hiring
23:21but no nothing seems to work out um ask
23:24yourself what kind of culture you want
23:25and it's going to be based on your why I
23:27wanted my culture to be place that in is
23:29inspiring to come and work at my at my
23:31company and and that we want to do work
23:33that inspires other people that's that's
23:35why I get out of bed in the morning
23:37right um and again it goes it's like
23:39it's like parenting no one will ever
23:41you'll never be an expert at this it's
23:431% better every day I'll give you one
23:46example so um most of us give feedback
23:50the way we like to get it or we take the
23:54advice from people on stages like this
23:57you know given uh you know a compliment
23:59sandwich you know tell them the good
24:01then tell them the bad then tell me tell
24:02them the good the don't ever give me a
24:05compliment sandwich okay I hate them
24:08because you tell me some at the
24:10beginning then you tell me the real
24:12thing and then you tell me some
24:13at the end and I'm supposed to like
24:14receive it better that way right but the
24:18problem is I like blunt feedback so I
24:20tend to give blunt feedback turns out
24:22not everybody likes blunt
24:25feedback so I I had a I had a a team
24:28member a colleague that I worked with
24:30that I would give her blunt feedback in
24:32the moment because heck that's how I
24:33like to get it and I tell you sometimes
24:35screaming matches ensued right like I we
24:38would have screaming matches over me
24:41giving her feedback and at one point I'm
24:44realizing it's going nowhere and I
24:45interrupt I go this is not working
24:48clearly can you please tell me how to
24:51give you feedback because clearly I'm
24:52failing and she said yes I just need to
24:55be prepared so ask me can I give you
24:58some feedback or schedule a time with me
25:01and tell me it's going to be a feedback
25:03session and I can put it in my calendar
25:05I said I can do that so I started
25:07scheduling it or I started saying can I
25:08give you some difficult feedback now and
25:10she would say yes and I could be
25:11completely blunt and she could take
25:14harsher feedback than almost anybody on
25:16the team so long as I prepared her for
25:18it and so we have to learn how to give
25:20and receive feedback things like that
25:22the point is there are these skills
25:23listening skills how to have difficult
25:25conversations this is a skill of good
25:27culture I saw this happen after the
25:29murder of George Floyd right the number
25:32of leaders after George Floyd you know
25:33what they did with their teams nothing
25:36they did nothing not because they're bad
25:39people it's because they were so afraid
25:42of talking to their team about race that
25:44they would accidentally trigger someone
25:45or inflame the situation that they opted
25:48to do nothing this is because they
25:50lacked the skill set of how to have a
25:53difficult conversation let me teach you
25:55how to have a difficult conversation I
25:57need to have a difficult conversation
25:58with you I'm worried I'm going to get
26:00some of this wrong but I need you to
26:04work with me I may say things wrong I
26:06may accidentally trigger somebody but
26:09having this conversation right now is
26:11more important than me getting it
26:14perfectly right can we have that
26:16conversation and now you've just
26:18enrolled people to say we're going to
26:19have a difficult conversation together
26:21and we're not all going to get it right
26:23and by the way if you can learn the
26:24skill of how to have a conversation
26:26about race for example you can have a
26:28conversation about pretty much anything
26:30performance or anything else that's
26:31going on in your team that reminds me of
26:34of what happened at the last
26:36presidential election year that's when
26:39George Floyd was murdered that's when um
26:42so many we had cities that are in fire
26:45divisiveness we at at Park University we
26:48we had those conversations and but for
26:50the most part we're we're doctors in
26:53Wartime if someone sees Dr rosenbom they
26:56brought an enemy and combatant into his
26:57Opera room he would treat them with the
26:59same
27:01respect as and and care as if it was one
27:04of his Marines we're outside of the
27:07we're outside of the conflict we need to
27:09be as doctors separate from the conflict
27:12and be the be the healers and we're
27:14there to be the calming Force it's going
27:16to happen this year it's going to be a a
27:19cont contentious time and I just
27:21challenge you guys be the light in the
27:23world that we're going to see in the
27:25next next five months
27:31so so we we hear a lot about hiring the
27:34right people and not micromanaging them
27:36but you talked about people coming into
27:37the workforce unprepared possibly yep
27:41and so how should we work with these
27:43people to maximize their con their
27:47contributions so again um we're there to
27:51see those around us rise that's what
27:52leadership is so if you want people to
27:55be honest about their shortcoming so
27:56that you can help them train up we have
27:58to be honest about ours right about our
28:00shortcomings one of the greatest things
28:02that I ever did was open up to my team
28:04about the things I'm struggling with the
28:06days that I'm having a hard day um if
28:09I'm in a bad place I ask my team to be
28:11patient with me and it turns out the
28:13more risks that I took to be open the
28:15more risks my team took to be open to me
28:18so if I talked about a skill set I
28:19didn't have or where where I suck then
28:21they told me where where they suck and I
28:23could be there to support them and more
28:25important they see me doing it for
28:26others so um are we yelling at people
28:29when they get things wrong or are we
28:31saying all right try again like how are
28:33we responding when things go wrong um I
28:36remember I had a boss named Peter and
28:37tagio was the best boss I ever had in my
28:39life annoyingly he would never answer a
28:41single question sorry yeah he would
28:44never answer a single question I'd ask
28:46him something and he'd say well what do
28:48you think we should do I'd be like I
28:51think we should do this he goes well why
28:53don't you try that and um uh if if I
28:57screwed something up he expected us to
28:58be fully accountable he expected us to
29:00walk into his office and say I screwed
29:02up and you never got yelled at he said
29:04okay so what are you going to do to fix
29:06it and because we didn't get yelled at
29:09we were we were encouraged to be honest
29:11and we were rewarded for being honest in
29:13other words he held space for us he he
29:15he was supportive in us trying to fix
29:17something we never feared for losing our
29:19jobs if we screwed something up and I
29:20screwed some big things up um but he he
29:24was just there to to to support us and
29:26so the more that we felt that the the
29:28the the more not only risks were we
29:30willing to take which is good um but the
29:32more we took full accountability so
29:35sometimes I think we we have young
29:36people come into our practices or come
29:38into our companies and we expect them to
29:40be us or we expect them to have been
29:42raised the same way we were raised they
29:43raised differently it's a different time
29:45it's a different generation it's not
29:46better or worse it's just different so a
29:48little bit of empathy and a little bit
29:49of support goes a long way and if we
29:50hire someone who's just like us one of
29:52us is not need it that too yeah and some
29:55something I that it's common in
29:57chiropractice I is chiropractors become
29:59successful they their patients are
30:01coming in that it's time to hire an
30:03associate they hire the
30:05associate patients start seeing the
30:07associate and then some of the patients
30:09prefer the associate and the and the
30:11doctor gets
30:12jealous and and so again they're freeing
30:14you up and they're they're actually
30:15jealous of their associate I I've seen
30:17people eventually fire the associate
30:19because they feel they're competing
30:21against them as they're making them more
30:23money I mean that's you know that sounds
30:27like a dream scenario to hire people who
30:29are better than you um that means you
30:31can stop working and people will love
30:33coming to your
30:35practice
30:36um and and and you can make and you can
30:39make money when you're lying on a beach
30:41like why wouldn't you want that that's
30:44the e that's but but you're right I mean
30:46ego is a thing and um and you know we
30:49want to be loved and we want to be the
30:51star and that's the mistake I made
30:52remember when I was when I was the bus
30:54and I had to learn to say I don't know
30:56or there are other people better than me
30:57or smart than me um that's the dream and
31:00to own it remember it's your practice
31:02and the more that you create an
31:04environment where they feel loved and
31:05they feel like they're growing that
31:07you're teaching them skills not just
31:08technical skills but human skills that
31:10they will leave better versions of
31:12themselves because they worked for you
31:14you're in a new job your job is not to
31:16be the world's best chiropractor anymore
31:18your job is not to be the world's best
31:20leader so start studying that that's it
31:22that's wonderful now I know you have
31:24strong opinions about certain leadership
31:26styles like Jack wellsh she would f the
31:2810% of his bottom performers every year
31:30and then expect the other 90% to be
31:32loyal and happy yeah um what can Insight
31:35can you do for us to bolster and
31:37reinforce our spirit of loyalty with
31:39those who work with us and belonging and
31:41security oh boy you went right for the
31:42Pandora's Box yeah yeah I I have devoted
31:45my career to undoing everything Jack
31:47Welch ever did um no I mean that very
31:51very seriously that period of leadership
31:53in America you know starting in the late
31:5670s but really coming really sort of
31:58growing during the ' 80s and 90s it it
32:01broke capitalism the capitalism that we
32:03have now is not the capitalism that made
32:06this country great it's not the
32:07capitalism that Thomas Jefferson
32:09believed in it's not the cap capitalism
32:11that Adam Smith wrote about um uh
32:14capitalism when it works is good for the
32:16customer it's good for the employee um
32:18the capitalism that we have now is good
32:20for the leaders and it comes at the
32:21expense of the employees and sometimes
32:23even the customers um
32:29You Know Jack Welch popularized using
32:32mass layoffs to balance the books that's
32:35profitable companies who use people's
32:36livelihoods to be more profitable when
32:39they're already profitable we're not
32:41talking existential here we're not
32:42talking about a sinking ship that needs
32:44to use layoffs to just survive we're
32:46talking about we're just not as
32:47profitable as we wanted to be there were
32:49no such things there was no such thing
32:51as mass layoffs in the United States
32:52prior to the early 1980s didn't exist it
32:55was used for existential reasons only it
32:58was popularized in the 80s and 90s
33:00short-termism quarterly results wasn't
33:02really a thing shareholder Supremacy
33:05wasn't really a thing even involvement
33:07in the stock market used to be for the
33:09middle class not really a thing anymore
33:11so yes um I want to see a return to the
33:13the capitalism that made America great
33:15where we take care of our people our
33:16people take care of our customers and
33:18competition is good for
33:24business so how can leaders apply the
33:26your your golden Circle concept to
33:28inspire their teams and organizations so
33:31the the the two things I would offer
33:34that really profoundly help in an
33:36organization and they they're both
33:38religion for me um and it changed the
33:41course of my life changed the course of
33:42my business number one I learned to
33:43start with why right so I gave you the
33:45example before I I didn't tell people
33:47what I do I tell people what I believe
33:50right so when you're flying home on the
33:51flight you know after this event you
33:54know you'll probably sit next to
33:55somebody on a plane and you have plane
33:56conversations where somebody turn he
33:58goes what do you do and you go I'm a
34:00chiropractor and they go cool and except
34:03for the 10% of people who like want to
34:05talk to a
34:06chiropractor that conversation is
34:09over because nobody cares about what you
34:12do and by the way if you said what do
34:14you do and they go I'm in marketing they
34:15go you're going to go cool right I I so
34:20the two things I did number one I
34:22stopped talking about what I did and I
34:23only started talking about what I
34:25believed right you you you heard the
34:27hypothetical example I gave a moment ago
34:29he say I love what I do every single day
34:32I help people find ways to live a more
34:34inspiring life oh my God how do you do
34:36that believe it or not I'm a
34:39chiropractor and I then you can talk
34:41about you for the next you know two
34:43hours if you want right so number one
34:45was I learned to start with why I
34:46learned to start with what I believe not
34:48what I did the second thing is the law
34:50of diffusion of Innovations it became my
34:52a religion for me right really really
34:55quickly law of diffusion of Innovations
34:57all populations sift across the standard
34:59deviation the bell curve if you have
35:02high performers you have low performers
35:03you have an average always right like I
35:06know in this room there's a percentage
35:07of people who are just nodding their
35:08head going ah I love Simon I know
35:10there's a percentage of people in this
35:12room who go he's an idiot right and then
35:15I know there's an average who kind of
35:16open-minded right I know that coming in
35:20so the law of diffusion tells us that
35:22the first two and a half% of any
35:23population are your innovators these
35:26your big idea people Richard Branson
35:28Steve Jobs Elon Musk right then you have
35:32your early adopters these are the people
35:35with a a higher risk tolerance they're
35:37willing to try something new be a part
35:38of something that reflects their own
35:39beliefs they're willing to spend more
35:41money make more effort travel further to
35:43see you go out of their way because
35:46somehow you reflect their beliefs then
35:48you have the early and late majority
35:50more cynical more practical what's in it
35:52for me will I get my money back if it
35:53doesn't work out right and then your
35:55lagard is the only reason they partake
35:57in anything because you have no choice
35:59they have no choice anymore clearly we
36:01all want Mass Market success or mass
36:03Market acceptance of an idea in other
36:05words we all want the bell and usually
36:07what we do is we we throw all of our
36:09efforts at the Bell right which is why
36:11we have promotions and sales and
36:13guarantees we're talking to people with
36:15low risk tolerance and what I learned is
36:18that in with the LW diffusion if you can
36:20get 18 to 15 to 18% Market penetration
36:23there's a social phenomenon that happens
36:25called a Tipping Point and it just goes
36:29if you ignore what I'm telling you
36:31you'll always get about 10% I guarantee
36:33you 10% of your patients they love you
36:36oh I you love them rather oh I love them
36:39they get it right that's not enough to
36:42make the system tip and so I got
36:44extremely good at figuring out who was
36:47an early adopter and who wasn't so
36:48people would call me up and they say I
36:50heard about you convince me why I should
36:52hire you not an early adopter so I would
36:55say don't and this is at a time where I
36:58needed every dollar I was living
36:59paycheck to paycheck I had no money in
37:01the bank and I would turn down business
37:03with people who were the wrong fits I'd
37:05get I'll get you later the people I said
37:08yes to were the ones who believed what I
37:09believed because I started with why and
37:12they would say things to me like you're
37:14on to something I don't think it's
37:15perfect but you're doing something and I
37:17really like it I'd say yes to those and
37:19they did more to build my practice than
37:22I could because they believed what I
37:24believed that they would tell more
37:26people about me and my work than anybody
37:28else and so my work spread with zero
37:31dollar in marketing because I started to
37:33get really good at working with people
37:35who believed what I believed and they
37:36told their
37:37friends that's great I remember when I
37:40was in practice I I was going through my
37:43notes one day and I'd seen all these
37:44referrals from this patient I couldn't
37:46remember who this patient was and then I
37:49got his chartred out looked at it it was
37:50I remember the visit I walked in the
37:52office he's all his body language was
37:54all scrunched up and I asked can I help
37:58you my wife wants me to come here and
38:00what your wife want you she I don't know
38:02if I believe in stuff so I I did my
38:04examination and I told him you know I
38:06don't think I can help you no charge for
38:09today he went out and I years later he
38:13was my number one referral source a
38:14patient I never even treated because and
38:17and uh it's don't chase after money
38:21don't chase after the wrong patience
38:23there's certain people that they not
38:24going to get it and don't be finite
38:26minded like this is like learn from
38:28lawyers right a lawyer charges you for
38:30your first time consultation yes right
38:32so right off the bat you hate them right
38:34because they haven't done anything yet
38:36they're charging you to for you to
38:38discover that you don't want to work
38:38with them
38:40right so we're not using that as
38:42practice management by the way he's
38:44giving away free care so in your opinion
38:46what's the most common challenges that
38:48leaders face when trying to inspire our
38:50teams you call us Visionary officers but
38:52how how can we Inspire them because you
38:54don't want to just like get in front of
38:55the parade and follow me it's there's
38:57you how do you get the message out to
39:00inspire people okay so talking about
39:03inspiration again if you start with why
39:05you're going to be more inspiring right
39:07it's also a recruiting tool it's it's a
39:09reinforcement tool when you're in but uh
39:12but remember you're there to see your
39:15people grow think of them like like like
39:18your children right find out where
39:20they're strong encourage them and and
39:23and catch them doing things right we so
39:25often catch people doing things wrong
39:28right catch people doing things right
39:29reinforce the behaviors you want rather
39:31than constantly punishing the behaviors
39:33you don't want change your incentive
39:34structures to get the behaviors you want
39:36I'll give you so this happened to me
39:37very young in my career um I worked at a
39:39big Ad Agency early in my career and um
39:43new business pctures were usually done
39:44by the senior people and it was
39:46Christmas time so all the senior people
39:48went off to uh vacation we had a big
39:51pitch sometime in January and I was left
39:53back at the office because I I didn't
39:55have vacation and um and they told me
39:59and another Junior person prepare the
40:01War Room which I apologize as a marine
40:04it basically means hang the research on
40:06the walls right well that took an hour
40:10and we had a week to kill so we decided
40:12to do the whole pitch ourselves we did
40:14the strategy we comb through the
40:15research we came up with an Insight we
40:17wrote the whole pitch deck and the
40:20senior leaders came back we showed them
40:22our work and they actually used Our Deck
40:25in the new business pitch and we lost
40:26the business
40:27we did not win the pitch and my boss
40:30gave me a huge promotion they moved me
40:32up two levels because he wasn't
40:35rewarding My outcome he was rewarding my
40:38initiative and guess what he got more of
40:42initiative you know this as a marine I
40:44learned this when I went to OCS and
40:46watched them do the
40:47lrc um basically this leadership
40:50reaction Court leadership reaction
40:52course these mini obstacle courses right
40:55and I stand next to the drill instructor
40:57when they have to do these things timed
40:59like take all your Mena material over
41:02the water hazard which is what Marines
41:03call a pond uh uh with like planks of
41:07different wood three of different Siz of
41:08wood you know and nowhere on the grading
41:12list nowhere on the grading list does it
41:13say if they made it to the other side or
41:15not and I asked the drill instructor how
41:18come you don't care if they have Mission
41:20success he says well we understand that
41:23good leaders sometimes suffer Mission
41:25failure and bad leaders sometimes en Joy
41:27Mission success so if they succeed or
41:29fail doesn't tell us what kind of leader
41:31they are well said well then how do you
41:32know what kind of leader they are they
41:33said if they're exhibiting the
41:34characteristics of a good leader and so
41:37they you know this you get drilled into
41:39the characteristics of what it means to
41:41be a good leader and individual Mission
41:43successes don't necessarily matter
41:44because they know the Marines know that
41:47if you reward the good behaviors that
41:49you want to see repeated good leaders
41:51will enjoy Mission success more often
41:54over time and that's the point more
41:57often often over time but if we just
41:58ding people every time they fail we're
42:00going to get nothing out of them so is
42:03everybody happy how we're we're doing
42:04this we we got a little time left would
42:06you prefer to have some questions for
42:07the audience or keep this conversation
42:09going okay so CLA and I we have one of
42:14our sons is is in the uh Army Special
42:17Forces and during his training and it's
42:19took about three years to get his Green
42:20Beret and they'll put them on these
42:23these
42:23horrible um events where they're
42:26carrying loads and things like that and
42:28they have psychologists hidden along the
42:30way watching the reaction and with it is
42:34that person's letting the other people
42:35through the load they're all this one's
42:36collaborating and and they're looking
42:38for not just leaders but people who
42:40because you hit everybody being a leader
42:42they'll pick up the load they also look
42:44at which ones are the load um and along
42:48the way it was it was really Innovative
42:50how they they really not it's not just
42:53about Brute Force they they they need
42:56people to work together and that's how a
42:58team is Built Well I I've done work with
43:01uh the seals and Dev group and it's the
43:04same for the Rangers the same for for
43:06Recon Marine Recon uh they asked a
43:08former seal um uh what kind of person
43:13becomes a seal so I think we can all
43:15agree that seals and and the other
43:18special operating forces are some of the
43:19highest performing teams on the planet
43:21right so what are you agreeing with that
43:23George 100% Okay so so they asked the
43:27seal what kind of person makes it into
43:29the seals and he said um he said the
43:32Star College
43:34athletes um who've uh who've never
43:36really been tested to the core of their
43:38being none of those guys make it through
43:40he says the preing leaders who like to
43:41delegate everything none of none of
43:43those guys make it through he said these
43:45guys that come in with huge hulking
43:46muscles covered in tattoos because they
43:48want to prove how strong they are none
43:50of those guys make it through he said
43:52some of the guys who make it through are
43:53skinny and scrawny he said some of the
43:55guys who make it through you actually
43:57see them shivering out of fear he says
44:00but every guy that makes it through when
44:02they're physically exhausted when
44:04they're emotionally
44:06exhausted somehow some way they're able
44:10to dig down deep inside themselves to
44:12find the energy to help the guy next to
44:14them it's about this incredible level of
44:18care and teamwork that makes high
44:21performing teams and what's so funny is
44:24all of the work that I do I talk about
44:26high performing teams and yet people try
44:28interpret that interpret that to
44:29individuals there's no such thing as a
44:31high performing individual right because
44:34we know what they are they're they're
44:35Spotlight Rangers there's these people
44:37who they they're the Stars leave me
44:39alone but when push comes to shove they
44:41don't help anybody nobody wants to help
44:43them and there are so many of us that
44:46have toxic Geniuses in our companies
44:49they're so good but they destroy the uh
44:52they destroy the performance of
44:54everybody else because everybody hates
44:55them and worse is when we know who they
44:58are and we say why don't you get rid of
45:00that person they're clearly
45:02uncoachable and we go I know but their
45:04numbers are so
45:06good so all we're promoting but the
45:08here's the detriment not only are we
45:11reinforcing that that person should keep
45:12doing what they're doing we're sending a
45:14subtle message to everybody else in our
45:16company which is if you act like them
45:17you'll do well at this company when we
45:20get rid of them not just because they're
45:23difficult people but they have they they
45:24are
45:25uncoachable uh they've proved themselves
45:27to be uncoachable it sends a message to
45:29the rest of the team which is I don't
45:31care how good your skills are if you
45:33don't work as a team you don't help each
45:34other you have no place here and guess
45:36what you're going to get more teamwork
45:39and teams are always high performing
45:40than individuals anyway you talked about
45:44the concept of leaders eating last and I
45:48would add to that that leaders can you
45:50quot the Marines how the leaders always
45:52eat last leaders also usually eat the
45:55crappiest food in the in the Marines
45:57they would we turn the SE R boxes upside
45:59down there' be 12 Meals and people
46:03memorize which one's which and there 12
46:0612 people in a squad so the private
46:08picks first and gos all the way up to
46:09the platoon platoon Commander so they
46:11always get the crap meal but um your
46:15concept of Leaders Eat Last extrapolate
46:18on that well I got it from Talking
46:20Marine yeah I said what makes the
46:21Marines so good at what they do he said
46:22officers eat last they always they they
46:24take care they always do yeah you know
46:26they're going to take care of know as
46:27well as I do that when an officer or
46:29leader puts themselves first what
46:32they're doing what they're going to
46:33accidentally do this is what I said if
46:34you can have a culture by default or by
46:36Design if you always put yourself first
46:39and you take the best of everything then
46:41you're creating a culture whether you
46:43know it or not of stab each other in the
46:45back and dog eat dog and be selfish
46:47that's what you're going to get because
46:48people will always follow the leader
46:50they'll follow the example of the leader
46:51always right do you know in the United
46:54States remember in the we used to wear
46:56men used to wear hats for fashion right
46:58do you know when that stopped you know
46:59when we stopped wearing hats for fashion
47:01in the United States when John F Kennedy
47:03was elected because he didn't wear a
47:05hat leader sets the tone Ronald Reagan
47:08fired the air traffic controllers
47:10normalized Mass layoffs for economic
47:13reasons we follow the leader whether we
47:16agree with them or not politically we
47:18follow our leaders right so it's the
47:20same in your company if you put yourself
47:21first and everybody can see that you
47:23will create a culture of selfishness
47:26right give you one example right so this
47:29is a common one right the the the phone
47:31rings some front desk receptionist
47:33whoever picks it up they ask for you and
47:37the the your your your colleague says uh
47:40Dave's on the phone and you go tell them
47:43I'm not here congratulations you have
47:46just condoned lying inside your company
47:49that's what that is that is a lie
47:51everybody knows it's a lie and you just
47:52allowed it so I had an assistant who I I
47:56had a very important important phone
47:57call with the senior leaders of a of a
47:59of a pretty significant organization and
48:01I forgot and I just didn't show up on
48:04the phone call I just
48:06forgot and so what she she emailed the
48:10all and said so so sorry Simon had
48:12another call that ran long can we
48:15reschedule and I had to sit down with
48:17her and say I'm so grateful I know why
48:19you did that you did that to protect my
48:21reputation and I'm super grateful for
48:23your intention you can never do that
48:25again because that's a lie and we don't
48:28lie you can say Simon missed the call
48:30sorry you don't have to tell them I'm an
48:34idiot but you can't say that it's
48:37because I was in another call when I
48:39wasn't because we don't condone lying
48:42here it's called Integrity it's called
48:43integrity and so these micro things that
48:47if you allow for them to happen in the
48:48micro they will show up in the macro and
48:50don't be surprised when somebody in your
48:52company starts lying it's because you
48:54allowed it and so in in in a culture you
48:57will always get the behavior you reward
48:59and you will always get the behavior
49:00that you model so when you choose to eat
49:02last and you set that example and you
49:05know this as well as anybody who's ever
49:07served right what ends happening is when
49:10you run out of food your people will all
49:13give a little bit of their food to feed
49:15their leader you take care of your
49:17people you eat last your people will
49:19always take care of you and make sure
49:21you're fed and I know everybody who
49:23started that's very good
49:29everyone he started to practice when
49:31you're starting off there's there's
49:33there's months where you don't get paid
49:36but everybody gets everybody else gets
49:38paid we've all of us have been there
49:40where you're you're living on your
49:42credit cards and you're but you always
49:44take care of the team and I will say our
49:48our vice president of culture is very
49:51mindful of all of our employees not just
49:54the high paid ones but the ones we we
49:56really worry about we the ones the lower
49:59wages if there's something a glitch that
50:01happens it affects them much more than
50:03if there's a a snafu and and where the
50:06where the paychecks come out late well
50:08if you're you're high a high paid
50:09executive it will mean less to them but
50:12your staff your will it'll really a big
50:15big big factor to them so being very
50:18mindful of that is
50:20important so what advice would you give
50:23to leaders who want to implement like
50:25maybe they have a vision and they're
50:27being they're met with resistance and
50:29skepticism along the way and you're and
50:32that that what's the word it's just a
50:35resistance to change which is so common
50:38my friend Bob Chapman when he was
50:40younger he he he he was having a crisis
50:44of
50:45faith and so he went to his
50:50priest and he says
50:53um I I uh I don't think I believe in I
50:56don't think think I believe in God and
50:58His priest said good thing God still
51:01believes in
51:02you people come along at different times
51:05like you can't force someone to have a
51:07conversion or you can't force somebody
51:09to believe if we we don't know what
51:11their story is we don't know that maybe
51:13they've worked for horrible people in
51:14the past maybe they've come from
51:16companies that had terrible cultures
51:18maybe they've been twice Once Bitten
51:19Twice Shy like maybe they're coming with
51:21their guard up like I don't know what
51:23their experience is I don't know what
51:24their story is so just because we are
51:25well-intentioned we're all like chipper
51:27chipper and studying leadership that we
51:29expect that they come in in the first
51:30three weeks of their employment how come
51:32you're not all in everybody else here is
51:33all in like you got to meet people where
51:35they are some people jump right in head
51:37first and they're really excited when
51:38they come into a new culture um and some
51:41people are slower just let them come at
51:43their own pace but you just keep doing
51:44the right thing and mo most importantly
51:46you got to be consistent right you can't
51:48just do it once or twice you got to do
51:50it all the time and it's the little
51:51things that add up more than the big
51:52things so I always think the balance of
51:54intensity versus consistency so
51:57intensity is something like this you've
51:58come in for three days it's an intense
52:00time it's intense education you're on
52:02this this is and anything intense is
52:04easily measured um and and and captured
52:08in time right but consistency is the
52:11little stuff that is innocuous and
52:13doesn't seem to do anything like saying
52:15good morning you know in the hallway
52:18well that does nothing if you do it once
52:19but what if you do it every day you know
52:21like how long did you know when did your
52:22wife fall in love with you like I don't
52:24know like it wasn't because you
52:25remembered her birthday day or border
52:27flowers and Valentine's Day those are
52:28intensity it's the little things you did
52:31like when you went to get a drink from
52:33the fridge and you just brought one back
52:35for her or the game was on and she said
52:38honey can I talk to you and you hit
52:39pause on the game and you said sure
52:40what's on your mind right like little
52:43things like that that in in a vacuum do
52:45nothing but when they add up people fall
52:46in love and it's the same in leadership
52:49it's the little things it's the brushing
52:50your teeth not going to the dentist you
52:52have to go to the dentist twice a year
52:54that's intensity but if that's all you
52:55do
52:56your teeth full out so you can't just
52:58rely on the big rahas the big leadership
53:01things the big coaching things very
53:03important you got to brush your teeth
53:05for two minutes in the morning and two
53:06minutes in the evening every single day
53:08and it only works if you keep doing it
53:10and that's what leadership is it's the
53:12boring mundane daily little things and
53:16some of it is so easy some of it is so
53:19easy right let let me show you one of
53:21the easiest things you can do can I
53:22borrow someone's phone can is any phone
53:25I can borrow yeah thank
53:27I'm G to show you something I'll show
53:29you a little thing right so here I am
53:31I'm sitting in my office and you walk
53:33into my office uh and while I'm sitting
53:37here just now right do you feel I'm not
53:40I'm not making a phone call it's not
53:41buzzing it's not beeping I'm just
53:42holding it do you feel like you're the
53:44most important thing to me right
53:46now no right there's a deep-seated
53:49psychological reaction to the device I'm
53:52not doing anything so when we show up to
53:54a meeting and we put the phone phone on
53:56the table and by the way putting the
53:59phone face down is not more
54:01polite right how do you think it makes
54:04people feel makes you makes them feel
54:06that they're not the most important
54:08thing right now if somebody walks into
54:09your office and it's just on the desk
54:11how do you think it makes people feel
54:12employees or
54:14patients uh or worse when somebody looks
54:16away and you're on it for 30 seconds how
54:19do you think it makes people
54:21feel right put the phone away when
54:24there's another person that you want
54:25them to feel like they matter it's so
54:28easy put it in a back pocket put it on a
54:31shelf put it in a
54:32drawer eye contact thank you very much
54:36can you
54:37catch well done so eye contact right uh
54:44facing your body towards somebody hey
54:46can I talk to you sure what's on your
54:48mind right little little things like I
54:51said these things in a vacuum do nothing
54:53but if you do them over and over and
54:54over again I can tell you how power ful
54:56they are a marine once told me he says
54:59his test for being a leader is if you
55:02ask somebody how they're doing you
55:04actually care about the answer how are
55:07you it's been a hard day okay cool well
55:09I'll check you after lunch
55:11right no how are you not doing so good
55:14what's what's going on right these are
55:16skills they're very easy to learn
55:19they're very easy to practice but you
55:20got to do them and over the course of
55:23time sometimes quicker for some people
55:25sometimes slower for others you will
55:27build an environment you will build a
55:28culture where people feel seen feel
55:30heard feel like they matter and you will
55:33watch them give you their Blood Sweat
55:34and Tears to help your business grow
55:36that's how it works so we've spent the
55:39last three days as a family getting
55:42together educating but being motivated
55:44and we come every year and we we leave
55:47on fire Monday morning is an awesome day
55:50how can but it's the the the buzz is not
55:54what carries it through it's the dis
55:56discipline of carrying it on what advice
55:58would you give to these 5,000 people to
56:01take what they've learned and and use it
56:04throughout the the year so especially
56:07when you've been gone from work for a
56:08few days you're not going to just start
56:10on Monday and be like all right back to
56:12work like tell them what you learned
56:14like you have notes you took notes for
56:15yourself like set a meeting and say I
56:17want to share some of the stuff that
56:18I've learned that might be valuable to
56:20you be super and open and honest about
56:23your own leadership Journey I've always
56:25recommended like be don't don't just
56:27hide it say hey I learned a bunch of
56:29stuff that I can do better I'm going to
56:33practice being more open I'm going to
56:34practice these little things hold me
56:36accountable watch me but you'll start to
56:39notice a difference don't be alarmed I'm
56:40just practicing and I'm learning
56:42leadership I realize I'm a great
56:43chiropractor but I could maybe I could
56:45be a better leader right um and so I'm
56:49going to start doing these things and I
56:51and I and I hope that you can join me on
56:53this journey as well but I'm going to be
56:54the example and and and I might stumble
56:57but tell them specifically I'm going to
56:59practice my listening skills I'm going
57:00to practice giving and receiving
57:02feedback you know and then go learn
57:04about but be really open about it on
57:06Monday communication Integrity humility
57:09I just G came back from a leadership um
57:12training and one of the things they
57:14really were were're we're pushing was
57:16basically authentic Communications but
57:18then talking to my cabinet like these
57:20are the things I'm learned we're going
57:22to I'm going to you're going to hear
57:23this from me and this is the
57:25conversation how we should do good and
57:27meeting the expectations and and also um
57:29I had SBI it's the situation we were
57:32sitting at at the table and the behavior
57:35you did and the eye would be how I
57:37interpreted it and instead of you may
57:39you were arrogant when you said that it
57:41wouldn't be that would be inappropriate
57:42it would be I didn't feel as significant
57:45by the way you treated me and having
57:47those conversations and that's what it
57:49sounds like you're doing is having those
57:51honest
57:53Communications I have one more got it
57:57this one's a huge one as well which is
58:00narrative um especially if you have
58:03Partners or other senior people we start
58:05to create narratives about some of the
58:06people who work for us that's the lazy
58:08one that's the annoying one that's the
58:10underperforming one right oh what what
58:15what do they what does he want now oh
58:17he's so annoying oh my God is she in the
58:19meeting again she negative Nelly GH I
58:22hate having meetings with her and the
58:24problem is when we talk about narrative
58:26in front of other people if they're
58:29Senior People we're now labeling that
58:30person that thing and we will treat them
58:32as the lazy one we will treat them as
58:34the underperformer we will treat them as
58:36the negative one and there's for them
58:38there's no getting out of that narrative
58:40but by the way they do the same thing
58:41for us like you're the toxic boss right
58:45they have narratives about us too but we
58:47set the behavior we he's making an
58:48example yeah yeah that hypothetically
58:51yeah hypothetic so so but like but we
58:53set the example so and we're all guil of
58:56this we are all guilty of it we are all
58:59guilty of it of creating narratives
59:00about other people we work with and so
59:02you have to nip that stuff in the bud so
59:04when somebody says oh they're so lazy
59:08they go it's imp it's incumbent upon us
59:10to say maybe or maybe they're stressed
59:13out or maybe they we've given them a job
59:15they don't know how to do it or maybe
59:17they're um out of bandwidth or maybe
59:20they got stuff going on in their
59:21personal lives that we don't know about
59:23you know they could be lazy but it could
59:24be a bunch of other things as well so
59:26why don't we replace judgment with
59:28curiosity and learning to replace
59:30judgment with curiosity and give people
59:32the benefit of the doubt it's amazing
59:34how it will transform a culture because
59:36the way you will talk to people simply
59:38because the narrative you've changed is
59:41profound and one of the things we
59:43encourage at Parker is and we have I
59:47think five or 600 Casa here we have
59:49other business staff we had business
59:51packages groups of doctors would come
59:53when you come together and you learn I
59:57certainly come together for the Keynotes
59:59you come back everybody you don't have
1:00:00to explain everything you learned you
1:00:02already you can discuss what you learn
1:00:04together and that's why we go out of our
1:00:07way to make sure that we have the
1:00:09packages for the office we want to
1:00:10transform your P your practice you guys
1:00:12know this is not a
1:00:15seminar just a seminar this is an event
1:00:18that we want to make sure we equip you
1:00:20to succeed and you're better succeed if
1:00:22you bring your whole team with you we've
1:00:24created another track that is is
1:00:27designed the beyond the biohack so even
1:00:30if you just you bring your friend your
1:00:31golf partner people who you refer
1:00:35patients to you other Physicians we want
1:00:38you to come together so you can interact
1:00:40and you carry it back and by having
1:00:42somebody else with you you're G to
1:00:44actually be able to grow and let's get
1:00:46together a couple times this week and
1:00:47talk about that so amen well we've come
1:00:51to the end of our time I'd like to thank
1:00:53Simon for joining us today and I we I
1:00:56hope you all enjoyed our time here um we
1:00:58we have we have several other seminars
1:01:01this year
1:01:03but I I would like to applaud you as
1:01:08well that was great

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