Understanding Your Emotions- Day 07 — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:07Hello and welcome to day seven of
2. 0:09Lifebook's 30-day challenge. I'm so
3. 0:11happy to have you here with me today.
4. 0:13Today, we're going to be exploring the
5. 0:15fascinating and powerful category of
6. 0:18your emotional life.
7. 0:20You know, most people have never really
8. 0:22thought deeply about this category at
9. 0:24all. They've got no idea what they
10. 0:26believe about emotions, what they
11. 0:28actually are, where they come from, and
12. 0:31why they may be so important in our
13. 0:33lives.
14. 0:34Well, I've done quite a bit of thinking
15. 0:36and a lot of study on this subject over
16. 0:37the years. And what I'd like to do is
17. 0:40I'd like to start with a clip from the
18. 0:41classic Lifebook program that I think is
19. 0:44going to shed some light on what exactly
20. 0:46are emotions and how we can use them to
21. 0:50improve our quality of life. Let's take
22. 0:52a look now.
23. 1:18Have you ever been in one of those
24. 1:19situations where something just didn't
25. 1:21feel quite right and you're not sure
26. 1:23exactly what it is?
27. 1:25You can't back it up with logic. You
28. 1:27can't define it intellectually.
29. 1:30Call it an intuition, a hunch, a gut
30. 1:32feeling, you just know that something's
31. 1:34wrong.
32. 1:36We've all had that experience. We pick
33. 1:38up some kind of negative data. It got
34. 1:40past our conscious mind, but our
35. 1:42emotions caught it.
36. 1:44If you're like me, you've learned to pay
37. 1:46attention to feelings like that because
38. 1:48many times those gut feelings turn out
39. 1:51to be right.
40. 1:54What is that? What's that all about?
41. 1:57What are emotions anyway?
42. 2:00Today we know that the whole body
43. 2:02possesses intelligence. The whole body
44. 2:04is the brain.
45. 2:06Emotions are body wisdom.
46. 2:09They're our innate intelligence. They're
47. 2:11signals from deep within us and they
48. 2:13come up in response to some aspect of
49. 2:15reality.
50. 2:17Emotions are there to tell us something.
51. 2:20Emotions are usually a call to action.
52. 2:23That uneasy feeling you got in your gut,
53. 2:25that's your body wisdom telling you to
54. 2:27use caution. Be careful. Be on your
55. 2:30guard.
56. 2:31Fear can tell us to run.
57. 2:34Anger usually tells us that our
58. 2:36boundaries have been violated in some
59. 2:38way.
60. 2:39Feelings like love, happiness, joy,
61. 2:43these great emotions are signals that
62. 2:46tell us that we're doing something
63. 2:47right, making good choices.
64. 2:50Pleasurable emotions like that tell us
65. 2:52to keep doing more of the same thing.
66. 2:56Emotions are an amazing, incredible gift
67. 2:59that our species has been given. It's
68. 3:01free wisdom. You don't have to learn it
69. 3:03in school. It's built into the fabric of
70. 3:06our beings.
71. 3:07It's that shock that you get right in
72. 3:09the middle of your chest when you're
73. 3:10walking through the woods and you see a
74. 3:12rustling in the grass just ahead. If
75. 3:15that were a poisonous snake, your
76. 3:17emotions, not your thinking brain, would
77. 3:19save you.
78. 3:20If you had to intellectually analyze
79. 3:23what was going on and try to make a
80. 3:24logical decision about what might be in
81. 3:26the grass and what's appropriate to do
82. 3:28next, you'd be done.
83. 3:31Instead, what happens? You jump back.
84. 3:33You instinctively jump back before your
85. 3:35brain can even register a thought.
86. 3:38What an amazing gift.
87. 3:40That's survival value.
88. 3:43Emotions are faster than intellect and
89. 3:45they're deeper.
90. 3:50Are emotions always right? Of course
91. 3:52not.
92. 3:54We've all had emotional reactions we
93. 3:56regretted later, right?
94. 3:58We've all gotten angry or jealous over
95. 4:00something completely stupid. You don't
96. 4:02want to go blindly charging off in the
97. 4:04direction of every emotion.
98. 4:07If you fall in love with someone who's
99. 4:08had six divorces and been arrested
100. 4:10multiple times for abuse, you'd better
101. 4:12do something more than just listen to
102. 4:13your emotions. You've got to use your
103. 4:15head, too.
104. 4:17And sometimes our hearts and our heads
105. 4:20can have a difference of opinion on an
106. 4:21issue.
107. 4:22If that happens, you can be sure of one
108. 4:24thing. Something's wrong. There's an
109. 4:27error somewhere. There's a conflict, a
110. 4:29contradiction.
111. 4:31Sometimes it's with the head.
112. 4:33Sometimes it's with the heart. And
113. 4:35sometimes it's with both. We need to
114. 4:37bring consciousness to the situation and
115. 4:39figure it out.
116. 4:43Emotions can be your best friend or your
117. 4:45worst enemy.
118. 4:47If you have a healthy relationship with
119. 4:49your emotions, if you acknowledge,
120. 4:51accept, and honor them,
121. 4:53if you treat them as tools of awareness,
122. 4:56you'll have a built-in barometer to help
123. 4:59you make good decisions.
124. 5:01For example, if you paid attention to
125. 5:03it, that gut feeling you had may have
126. 5:06just saved you from doing something
127. 5:07stupid.
128. 5:09High emotional intelligence allows you
129. 5:11to be very resourceful, solid, grounded.
130. 5:16The willingness to experience your
131. 5:17feelings has direct healing power.
132. 5:21It clears the way for you to begin to
133. 5:23understand and deal with just about any
134. 5:26issue, any wound, any hurt in your life.
135. 5:30If you listen to what your emotions are
136. 5:32trying to tell you, you can become
137. 5:34intimately connected with the deepest
138. 5:37part of yourself.
139. 5:39On the other hand,
140. 5:41if we don't honor our emotions, when we
141. 5:43fight or push down or try to block a
142. 5:46feeling, it tends to grow stronger.
143. 5:49Because that feeling is there to tell us
144. 5:51something, and it's usually not going to
145. 5:53go away until we get the message.
146. 5:55The farther we push it down, the
147. 5:57stronger it needs to become in order to
148. 6:00be heard.
149. 6:01But when we allow ourselves to
150. 6:03acknowledge it, to experience it, to
151. 6:06listen to what it's trying to tell us,
152. 6:08it usually begins to melt.
153. 6:10Once it does its job, an emotion will
154. 6:13usually recede willingly.
155. 6:18There's another very interesting and
156. 6:20very important aspect of emotions,
157. 6:23and that is this.
158. 6:25Emotional states can be created
159. 6:28consciously.
160. 6:30For instance,
161. 6:31if I want to experience an emotional
162. 6:32state like peacefulness, tranquility,
163. 6:35serenity,
164. 6:37I can create that state by doing certain
165. 6:40things. There's a recipe for that.
166. 6:43Walking through a beautiful garden,
167. 6:45soft, relaxing music,
168. 6:48the sight and sound of water gently
169. 6:50flowing,
170. 6:51surrounding myself with living things,
171. 6:53plants and flowers, quieting my mind,
172. 6:57spending time in nature,
173. 6:59surrounding myself with tranquility,
174. 7:02warmth, and love.
175. 7:04Just thinking about those things relaxes
176. 7:06me and puts me in a peaceful emotional
177. 7:08state.
178. 7:12There's a recipe for every emotional
179. 7:14state.
180. 7:16There's a recipe for happiness,
181. 7:18and there's a recipe for jealousy.
182. 7:21There's a recipe for joy and passion.
183. 7:25There's a recipe for anger,
184. 7:27for sadness.
185. 7:29These emotional states can be generated
186. 7:31if you do certain things.
187. 7:33And this is hugely powerful to
188. 7:35understand, because once you know that
189. 7:37emotional states can be created, you You
190. 7:40consciously choose which states you want
191. 7:43to experience on a daily basis and which
192. 7:45ones you're unwilling to allow into your
193. 7:47life.
194. 7:49That's called emotional control.
195. 7:53I'm not suggesting that we can feel
196. 7:55great every second of every day.
197. 7:58People let you down.
198. 8:00Friction happens. Our lives can be
199. 8:02stressful.
200. 8:04And sometimes in life we can encounter a
201. 8:06negative emotion that's so powerful that
202. 8:09it temporarily overrides everything
203. 8:12else.
204. 8:13These emotions can be impossible to
205. 8:15change, at least for a while.
206. 8:17The loss of a child
207. 8:19or a divorce or a physical accident, for
208. 8:22instance. These things can be so
209. 8:23traumatic that you can see how difficult
210. 8:25it would be to just create more positive
211. 8:27emotions on demand while you're dealing
212. 8:30with something like that.
213. 8:32But for the most part
214. 8:34in the absence of serious trauma
215. 8:36you can exercise a tremendous amount of
216. 8:39control over the emotions that you
217. 8:40experience on a daily basis.
218. 8:43You can think about and do the things
219. 8:46that make you happy
220. 8:47and you'll be happier.
221. 8:49You can think about and do the things
222. 8:50that relax you and you'll be more
223. 8:52relaxed.
224. 8:54You can really learn to manage your
225. 8:56emotions in your everyday life.
226. 8:59The ability to tap into your body
227. 9:01wisdom, to learn from your emotions and
228. 9:04let them guide you, is huge.
229. 9:07The ability to identify what emotional
230. 9:09states you want to experience and to be
231. 9:11able to create those states
232. 9:13that's also huge.
233. 9:15Developing these two skills
234. 9:17simultaneously
235. 9:19can change everything in your life.
236. 9:28Whether we like it or not, we have lots
237. 9:30and lots of very powerful emotions every
238. 9:33day. Some are positive, some are
239. 9:35negative, and some are in between.
240. 9:37So, really understanding our emotions is
241. 9:41vital to living the extraordinary life
242. 9:43that we really want to be living.
243. 9:45Today, we learned that we can really
244. 9:47learn a tremendous amount from our
245. 9:49emotions, and we can use them to help us
246. 9:52navigate our days more successfully.
247. 9:56Tomorrow, we're going to do a little bit
248. 9:57deeper dive into this fascinating
249. 9:59category, and we're really going to
250. 10:00explore what makes us tick, what makes
251. 10:03us happy, and what makes us unhappy. I
252. 10:06think you're going to find this
253. 10:06exploration very interesting and very
254. 10:09valuable. Until then, have a great day,
255. 10:13and I'll see you tomorrow as we continue
256. 10:15to explore your emotional life.