Unbothered: it’s time to DETACH — Transcript

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1. 0:00I'm going to tell you
2. 0:02some of the signs of anxious attachment,
3. 0:05of codependency, of what it can do in a
4. 0:08relationship. And if you've seen my
5. 0:11videos and the millions of views that
6. 0:13they've gotten, 1 million views or
7. 0:15whatever they've gotten, I will tell you
8. 0:17that there is a painoint going on here.
9. 0:19I will tell you that there's a pain
10. 0:21point going on here to the point where
11. 0:22people in the comments are resonating
12. 0:25and saying, "How come I didn't know
13. 0:27this? this I don't know people feel like
14. 0:29this. This is a a a symptom of the
15. 0:33modern world and it comes from wanting
16. 0:37to be the best version of of yourself
17. 0:40for somebody because somewhere along the
18. 0:42lines you didn't get the love you
19. 0:44needed. You didn't get the love you
20. 0:46needed and it might have not been in a
21. 0:48big way. Maybe nobody abandoned you.
22. 0:51Maybe nobody did anything to you. It's
23. 0:54something that is so poignant that if
24. 0:57you learn how to master your anxious
25. 1:01attachment, understand what it is,
26. 1:03understand what your codependency is,
27. 1:06and become secure, it will change your
28. 1:08life. All these things that you want to
29. 1:10know about how to get the guy, how to
30. 1:11make him obsessed with you, how to be
31. 1:14the dream girl, how to have this energy,
32. 1:16that energy, not be a placeholder. Well,
33. 1:19it's all encapsulated in this. And the
34. 1:21reason these videos have so many views
35. 1:23relatively is because it's a pain point
36. 1:25for us, especially for women, because
37. 1:27we've been taught to be a good girl in
38. 1:29terms of the fact that someone somewhere
39. 1:30in our lives didn't care about us
40. 1:31enough. Maybe, and it doesn't have to be
41. 1:34epic. It doesn't have to be dramatic. It
42. 1:35doesn't have to be like huge big tea
43. 1:37trauma. It's maybe a parent who was too
44. 1:40busy, people who didn't have time for
45. 1:42you, mom who worked all the time. I'm a
46. 1:45mom who works, so I'm not I'm not
47. 1:46blaming you. Just happens, right? It
48. 1:48could be any of those things, but it
49. 1:50results in us believing that the only
50. 1:52way we are lovable. And the only way we
51. 1:54can be seen is by people who we service,
52. 1:58who we go out of our way to perform for.
53. 2:00And we meticulously watch them and
54. 2:02meticulously learn. If we do anything
55. 2:05wrong, right? We will not be lovable
56. 2:08anymore. We are only lovable as a
57. 2:10product of getting people to where they
58. 2:12want to be. People are hungry, so we
59. 2:14cook for them. people uh are
60. 2:16uncomfortable so we listen to them. We
61. 2:18have lost complete touch from ourselves.
62. 2:20A lot of us service so much in in order
63. 2:23to get love but there's an insidious
64. 2:24side to it. Okay. In anxious attachment
65. 2:26and codependency, there's a big
66. 2:28insidious side because as much as you
67. 2:30are lovely and I was lovely when I was
68. 2:32anxiously attached and codependent,
69. 2:34there is a manipulative dark side to the
70. 2:36fact that you will go to any lengths in
71. 2:38order to get what you want. I looked at
72. 2:40these videos. I looked at who I was. and
73. 2:43I'll tell you some stories today. And I
74. 2:46thought, no, we can't we can't be doing
75. 2:47this. And I need to make something that
76. 2:50is going to be a place where I can send
77. 2:52you in order to help you because when I
78. 2:55get the DMs, it doesn't suffice for me
79. 2:57to listen to you in those DMs and and
80. 2:59then send you on your merry way. So, I'm
81. 3:02going to put a link in the description
82. 3:04box. Okay, this is serious. For a 3day
83. 3:06detachment intensive, it's going to be
84. 3:09called Unbothered.
85. 3:11I've recorded it and I believe it's the
86. 3:13best thing I've ever done because it's
87. 3:15going to be pivotal for you to change.
88. 3:17It's going to regulate your nervous
89. 3:19system. It's going to make you the
90. 3:20person that you were born to be on this
91. 3:22earth. And it's everything I know. It's
92. 3:25got worksheets. It's also got a
93. 3:27community component if you want to be
94. 3:28there. I'm going to put the weight list
95. 3:30because the doors aren't open yet. I'm
96. 3:32only opening them for those 3 days. Then
97. 3:33I'm going to close it because I'm at
98. 3:35capacity with my children in my life.
99. 3:37So, I want to do this one time and I
100. 3:39want to see how it resonates and how it
101. 3:40works because it's going to be live.
102. 3:41There's going to be live video with me
103. 3:43too and Q&As's and I want to see how it
104. 3:45works. Anyway, I want you to decide if
105. 3:48it's for you and I am going to tell you
106. 3:51the 10 size of signs of anxious
107. 3:52attachment and I'll tell it through
108. 3:54stories. I'm looking over here cuz I've
109. 3:56got them noted down. Number one, you
110. 3:58constantly worry that they're going to
111. 4:00leave you.
112. 4:02When you are anxiously attached, when I
113. 4:04was anxiously attached, I was constantly
114. 4:07worried that anything that I might do,
115. 4:09saying no, having a boundary in this
116. 4:11master class, we go through boundaries
117. 4:13and and all these things and what they
118. 4:14actually mean. So, I won't go into it
119. 4:16here, but you're constantly worried that
120. 4:18if you show any signs of autonomy or
121. 4:21being who you are as opposed to being
122. 4:23who they want you to be,
123. 4:25you are disposable.
124. 4:27People can leave you. You are
125. 4:29disposable. You are not needed or
126. 4:32wanted. You are just a vessel for people
127. 4:35to get to where they want to go.
128. 4:36Happiness, joy, whatever, intimacy and
129. 4:39you are that vessel. Okay? I used to go
130. 4:42out of my way in order to make people
131. 4:45happy despite what I needed um despite
132. 4:47tiredness, despite anything in order to
133. 4:49make them happy. Number two, you feel
134. 4:51anxious when they don't reply right
135. 4:53away. This used to be such a big thing
136. 4:55for me. And the danger about anxious
137. 4:57attachment is a disregulated nervous
138. 4:59system that you don't know how to
139. 5:01regulate. And the only way you've leared
140. 5:03to regulate it is by, you know, when
141. 5:05people um have OCD and they press the
142. 5:07light three times in order to regulate
143. 5:08their nervous system. With anxious
144. 5:10attachment, you've linked that same
145. 5:12attachment to a person's reaction to
146. 5:14you. So, what you're looking for is just
147. 5:17for
148. 5:19David to reply. You want nothing else.
149. 5:22You're almost like a rat that keeps
150. 5:24pressing the lever and wanting David to
151. 5:26reply. And unless he does, you are
152. 5:28spiraling. You have lost control. You've
153. 5:29got no other anchors and no other ways
154. 5:31to regulate your nervous system except
155. 5:33for getting that reply from David. And
156. 5:35when you want that surge of dopamine,
157. 5:37you text David knowing that he's at work
158. 5:39knowing that he won't reply. And then
159. 5:40you're there like shaking by your phone
160. 5:42like a crackhead waiting for David to
161. 5:44reply. And you know, it's funny cuz I
162. 5:45always address Jessica by her name and I
163. 5:47don't know who she is. She's just like
164. 5:49an archetype of people who who are
165. 5:51watching this. and someone wrote to me
166. 5:52all these different names. So, we're
167. 5:54gonna go with Nadine today. Nadine.
168. 5:56Okay. Number three, you overthink your
169. 5:59text tone and even emojis. And I see
170. 6:01this so much in women and it is
171. 6:03exhausting. The fact that you need to
172. 6:04understand that what makes a woman
173. 6:06irresistible, magnetic, and amazing is
174. 6:09that she is not overly composed. She's
175. 6:12not overly connected to these things.
176. 6:13You think that I'm going to tell you
177. 6:15what to text and how to text and
178. 6:17overthink it and overanalyze it with you
179. 6:19and put in the right emojis and then
180. 6:20he's going to be like, "Yes, this is the
181. 6:22woman for me." That's not how it works.
182. 6:24People feel you on an energetic level.
183. 6:26People are put off by people who are
184. 6:28preoccupied with other people because
185. 6:29then it looks like an empty vessel and
186. 6:31it almost exemplifies vampiric energy.
187. 6:34The fact that you want to vampize some
188. 6:36kind of feeling out of somebody. People
189. 6:38feel that and we think that we're being
190. 6:39lovely because we just want their
191. 6:40energy. But what do you want that energy
192. 6:42for? What do you want constant approval
193. 6:44from them for? The thing that men want
194. 6:46most is the ability to be themselves.
195. 6:48And if you're always overthinking your
196. 6:49texts, tone, and emojis, you're
197. 6:51manipulating them into being with a
198. 6:53version of you that's not you, and they
199. 6:55sense that, and they don't want to be
200. 6:56with a combobulated version that's not
201. 6:58you. Okay. Number four, you need
202. 7:00constant reassurance that people care.
203. 7:02This is exhausting. If you've never been
204. 7:04on the other side of an anxiously
205. 7:06attached relationship,
206. 7:09the constant reassurance, I know you
207. 7:11might have had a friend like this. Oh,
208. 7:12why didn't you reply to me? Oh, I'm
209. 7:14sorry. I was just waiting. Oh, I'm
210. 7:15sorry. I just didn't know. It makes you
211. 7:16want to smack that person. Because
212. 7:18you're like, why are you all in my
213. 7:20George Foreman, Nadine? Why are you
214. 7:22always here wanting reassurance? It's
215. 7:24like, I don't have Why have you got dibs
216. 7:26on my energy? Why have you always got
217. 7:29access to my energy? Why can you not
218. 7:32wipe your own ass? Essentially speaking,
219. 7:34emotionally speaking, why can you not
220. 7:36look after your emotions? Why is it
221. 7:37always someone else's problem? And
222. 7:39people sugarcoat it with, "Oh, but we
223. 7:41should be connected. We should be
224. 7:42connected and conversating in
225. 7:43relationships." But is there a time when
226. 7:45you're not connected and you have to
227. 7:46look after your own self? Hi. Sorry to
228. 7:48interrupt the podcast, but you know how
229. 7:50we're always talking about embodying the
230. 7:52best version of you, being intentional,
231. 7:55moving with purpose, and not settling
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262. 9:06Number five, you fear being too much but
263. 9:08still feel unfulfilled.
264. 9:10The feeling of being too much is because
265. 9:13you are this desert starved
266. 9:16animal raccoon crawling through the
267. 9:19desert with no water because you don't
268. 9:20replenish yourself. The truth be told is
269. 9:22that it's your job to replenish
270. 9:24yourself. You need to be the one who
271. 9:26first gives to yourself. You need to
272. 9:27teach people how to treat you. You need
273. 9:30to treat yourself well enough so people
274. 9:32see a blueprint of how to treat you.
275. 9:33That is how people treat you. Okay.
276. 9:35Number six, you find it hard to relax
277. 9:37when there's emotional distance. When
278. 9:40someone has not reassured you or
279. 9:41someone's not calling every 5 minutes,
280. 9:43you cannot be at peace with yourself.
281. 9:45You always need some kind of turmoil,
282. 9:47some kind of reassurance, some kind of
283. 9:48dopamine kick. You don't see it like
284. 9:50that, but it goes hand inhand with maybe
285. 9:52drinking, maybe overeating, maybe doing
286. 9:54something in order to stimulate
287. 9:56yourself. Okay. Number seven, you chase
288. 9:57emotional crumbs just to feel secure.
289. 10:00You would rather
290. 10:03pursue a person who you've taken a
291. 10:05liking to, create a personality for
292. 10:07them, and see their crumbs that they
293. 10:09give you sometimes because everyone
294. 10:11wants attention at a certain point. So
295. 10:13maybe this guy is giving you, his name
296. 10:14is David today, attention. And so Nadine
297. 10:17is all over it. Oh, he's the guy for me.
298. 10:19Look, he replied to me once in 5 days.
299. 10:21You would rather take the pain of
300. 10:22breadcrumbming than the pain of deciding
301. 10:25that they're not for you. You cannot um
302. 10:27you cannot combulate in your head to be
303. 10:30like, do you know what? If he really
304. 10:31likes me, he'll reach out to me. You
305. 10:33cannot let that happen. You cannot let
306. 10:35that go. You cannot let that possibility
307. 10:37take chance. You would rather pursue him
308. 10:39to the point where he's so disinterested
309. 10:41in you that he's just giving you
310. 10:42breadcrumbs, but you will eat up the
311. 10:45breadcrumbs. That's what you do. Number
312. 10:47eight, you often feel jealous or
313. 10:48threatened by others. This is a big one
314. 10:51because you don't spend time
315. 10:53prioritizing yourself. You don't spend
316. 10:55time putting into yourself. You have
317. 10:56told your body, your mind, your nervous
318. 10:58system, every aspect of you that you are
319. 11:00not worthy of anything. So by doing
320. 11:04that, you then feel jealous of other
321. 11:06people. You then feel threatened by
322. 11:08other people because your own body and
323. 11:10your own spirit and your own self knows
324. 11:12that you don't love yourself. And if
325. 11:13you're not looking after yourself, then
326. 11:14no one's looking after you potentially,
327. 11:16right? Cuz you were born with you and
328. 11:17you will die with you. You've got you,
329. 11:19right? And especially your precious body
330. 11:21that does things for you or maybe had
331. 11:22kids for you or maybe he's gotten you
332. 11:24through illnesses and you don't treat
333. 11:25yourself well. You just run around after
334. 11:27other people trying to make them happy
335. 11:29and then you're jealous because you've
336. 11:31not put anything into you. Number nine,
337. 11:33you mold yourself to be the person that
338. 11:35other people want. You're not interested
339. 11:37in self-discovery. You're not interested
340. 11:39in understanding yourself. You're not
341. 11:42interested in character development or
342. 11:43growth. You say you are, but you're not.
343. 11:45You're more interested in creating the
344. 11:47version of yourself that someone wants.
345. 11:49And I know this because you're not
346. 11:50interested in personal develop
347. 11:52development. You're interested in my Tik
348. 11:53Tok videos where I say, "Make him
349. 11:55obsessed by doing this and that."
350. 11:59Number 10, you feel love most when
351. 12:02there's intensity or anxiety because
352. 12:04that's what your nervous system is used
353. 12:06to. That's what you're used to.
354. 12:09Now the other aspect we are going to
355. 12:11discuss in unbothered is codependency
356. 12:14which is when you are in a relationship
357. 12:16with someone and it was discovered when
358. 12:18alcoholics anonymous found that they had
359. 12:20partners sitting outside their um
360. 12:22alcoholics anonymous and all the
361. 12:24partners had similar traits controlling
362. 12:26tendencies enabling tendencies
363. 12:28manipulative tendencies and they were
364. 12:30like wait a minute why are all these
365. 12:33people so similar because they have
366. 12:34traits they have traits that enable the
367. 12:36alcoholic or the narcissist or the
368. 12:38person who is breadcrumbming to continue
369. 12:41being the way they are. As much as
370. 12:42they're an addict, you're an addict to
371. 12:44that connection. Okay? You've meshed
372. 12:47with them. You cannot see yourself from
373. 12:49the grass and the trees. The signs are
374. 12:51number one, you feel responsible for
375. 12:52other people's emotions. Oh, David's
376. 12:55upset. David's upset. Quick, Nadine,
377. 12:57quick. It's cuz you didn't drive him to
378. 12:58the airport because you didn't reply to
379. 13:00him about going out on Tuesday. Now he's
380. 13:01upset and you're responsible for his
381. 13:03emotions. For a grown man's emotions,
382. 13:04for a grown man's emotions. There are
383. 13:07children, animals, and plants that need
384. 13:09care for, and you're concerned with how
385. 13:11you made him feel. And I'm not making
386. 13:13fun of men's feelings, but something
387. 13:14that is completely ridiculous. You will
388. 13:17beat yourself into the ground about.
389. 13:19Okay. Number two, you put others needs
390. 13:21above your own always. You will have
391. 13:24lists of things that you need to do for
392. 13:26other people, and you will always come
393. 13:27last. And you will be That's fine. You
394. 13:29know what? If you are completely
395. 13:31replenished and you're good and you're
396. 13:32one with God and the universe and you're
397. 13:34just giving from a place of plenty, then
398. 13:36I love that for you. But a lot of you
399. 13:38are dry, crispy, underhydrated,
400. 13:42undernourished,
401. 13:45underlod, and you're trying to give from
402. 13:47your dry self with your cracked lips as
403. 13:50you feebly pass something to your loved
404. 13:52ones, which is honorable, but also it's
405. 13:55a tactic to make them relying on you.
406. 13:56Don't lie to me. Mommy knows. Number
407. 13:59three, you feel guilty for setting
408. 14:00boundaries. You don't see boundaries,
409. 14:02and we discussed this. There's a module
410. 14:04on it in the unbothered master class.
411. 14:06You you feel the feeling of guilt when
412. 14:08you set boundaries because you see
413. 14:09boundaries as controlling someone else.
414. 14:11You don't see boundaries as a
415. 14:12self-fulfilling prophecy of what you
416. 14:14will accept and won't accept. I won't go
417. 14:16into it, but it's there if you want to.
418. 14:18Boundaries is wrong when it's seen
419. 14:20through the lens of I'm going to tell
420. 14:22him to come home at 10:00. A boundary is
421. 14:25saying I don't accept someone who comes
422. 14:27home after 10:00. That's an example. I
423. 14:28don't care what time you come home.
424. 14:30Number four, you struggle to say no and
425. 14:32often overextend yourself. Again, you're
426. 14:36dry, crispy, and crunchy, Nadine. And
427. 14:39you're doing everything for David and he
428. 14:40does not see the emotional labor. A lot
429. 14:42of times they don't. Even a good person
430. 14:44won't see the amount of emotional labor
431. 14:46you do because you never say what you
432. 14:47want. There's no care manual or
433. 14:50instructions for you. Okay. Number five,
434. 14:53your selfworth depends on being needed.
435. 14:55If you are not needed, you completely
436. 14:58disintegrate in the world. You don't
437. 14:59know what to do with yourself. You don't
438. 15:01know what to do with yourself. You
439. 15:02haven't formed a relationship with
440. 15:03yourself. You haven't created an
441. 15:04identity, a character, a mission,
442. 15:06nothing. And that's a problem. Number
443. 15:08seven, you avoid conflict at all costs
444. 15:10to keep the peace. But people feel your
445. 15:11resentment. People feel that you're
446. 15:13bitter. People feel your resentment
447. 15:15because you're not the Daly Lama or or
448. 15:17Buddha over here or Jesus sacrificing
449. 15:19yourself for everybody and just here to
450. 15:20teach. Maybe you are. Maybe you are. But
451. 15:23majority need something in return in
452. 15:25relationships, but you won't voice it
453. 15:27and you hold it over people's head.
454. 15:28Number eight, you stay in toxic dynamics
455. 15:30because they need you. You will
456. 15:34sacrifice yourself because you've
457. 15:35prophesized that this person needs me.
458. 15:37They need me. How will he live? He's
459. 15:40lived for 35 years without me, but now
460. 15:41we've lived a year together and how he
461. 15:43will need me. Nobody needs you. You're
462. 15:45enabling him. You're enabling him. Nine.
463. 15:49You base your identity around your
464. 15:50partner or the relationship. you're
465. 15:52scared to. I remember when I was very
466. 15:56young, uh, 18 or something, I decided to
467. 15:59smoke when I was at drama school because
468. 16:01everyone got a break when they went out
469. 16:02to smoke and I was like, I'm going to
470. 16:03smoke cuz I want a break. And when I
471. 16:06decided to quit shortly after, I had
472. 16:09this crisis of identity where I was
473. 16:10like, when am I going to go out with my
474. 16:12friends outside uh to talk? Like, I'm
475. 16:15not going to be able to talk now. I'm
476. 16:16going to miss out on the conversations.
477. 16:17It's like my identity. It wasn't the
478. 16:19physical addiction to smoking because I
479. 16:21don't believe I ever developed that, but
480. 16:23it was the identity that I had of me and
481. 16:25my friends who I have go outside and now
482. 16:27I'm going to be missing out. Well, tough
483. 16:29titties because it's more important for
484. 16:31me to be healthy than it is to be
485. 16:33friends with people, which were my
486. 16:34friends anyway afterwards, so it didn't
487. 16:36matter. 10. You feel like you don't
488. 16:38exist unless someone else loves you.
489. 16:40Your identity is fully tied up with the
490. 16:42love of someone else.
491. 16:44It's fully entrenched with that. But the
492. 16:47tragedy is Nadine is that
493. 16:50you
494. 16:52fail to forget. You fail to remember
495. 16:55even that most people
496. 16:58love someone for an for for who they are
497. 17:00as an entity, not for who they're not or
498. 17:03who for who they're even the most secure
499. 17:04amazing person wants to love a woman for
500. 17:06who she is in the world, not for being a
501. 17:08mirror. Now,
502. 17:11I'm going to tell you what secure
503. 17:12attachment looks like. And if you want
504. 17:13to get there, we'll go there. You feel
505. 17:16safe being alone, but you enjoy other
506. 17:18people's company. Beautiful place to be
507. 17:21in. I love to be around people, but I
508. 17:23love me some alone time. Two, you
509. 17:25express your needs calmly without fear
510. 17:27of rejection because you know that
511. 17:29you're not a negative, horrible
512. 17:32person, but you're expressing your
513. 17:34needs. You're not telling someone to do
514. 17:36them. You're just expressing your needs.
515. 17:38Three, you don't chase, you magnetize.
516. 17:41What does that mean? very overused
517. 17:43phrase. You don't chase someone down
518. 17:46like they're a mammoth and you are a
519. 17:48Neanderthal chasing them into
520. 17:50submission. You sit in your presence and
521. 17:52you are who you are and you let people
522. 17:54come to you like bees to honey. Number
523. 17:55four, you trust your intuition instead
524. 17:57of spiraling with anxiety. If you feel
525. 18:00someone's doing you wrong, constantly
526. 18:02not there for you, you trust that
527. 18:04intuition and you cut ties with that
528. 18:05person. You don't make them prove it
529. 18:07because a liar will lie. This is I never
530. 18:09understood this about women. like if
531. 18:10he's cheating, I'm I'm going to confront
532. 18:12him. I'm going to ask him. What are you
533. 18:12going to ask him? What are you going to
534. 18:14ask him that he's going to tell you the
535. 18:15truth? If he's already a cheater, he's
536. 18:16going to lie. You trust your intuition.
537. 18:19You see between the lines what people
538. 18:20are meaning and you don't spiral into
539. 18:22anxiety because at the end of the day,
540. 18:24you know that you have your own back if
541. 18:26does hit the fan because what? You
542. 18:28haven't based your whole identity around
543. 18:29this relationship. Five, you set and
544. 18:31hold boundaries with grace and
545. 18:33self-respect. You don't see boundary as
546. 18:35an infringement on them. You see a
547. 18:37boundary as a protection of your own
548. 18:38peace, which is the number one rule of
549. 18:39feminine energy. More on that in the um
550. 18:42course. Six. You're comfortable with
551. 18:45emotional intimacy and space. When a
552. 18:47person needs space or to go see their
553. 18:49mom on the weekend or to do something by
554. 18:51themselves or to go to woodshop class or
555. 18:54something, I'm making it up. A lot of
556. 18:56women spiral who have anxious attachment
557. 18:58or codependency issues. They spiral.
558. 19:00They completely freak out or crash out
559. 19:02or whatever it is, right? But secure
560. 19:05person's comfortable with extreme
561. 19:06intimacy and being really close to
562. 19:08someone and they're comfortable when
563. 19:09that person needs space. Seven, you
564. 19:12don't take silence or distance
565. 19:13personally. People do what people do.
566. 19:16Not my circus, not my monkeys. We go
567. 19:18over that principle and I'm bothered as
568. 19:20well. I don't care about your silence or
569. 19:22your distance. I care about how I
570. 19:24perceive you. If at the end of the day,
571. 19:25if you're going to be silent and distant
572. 19:26for 2 months, I'm not going to be
573. 19:28interested in you anymore. You
574. 19:29understand? That's that's what it is. I
575. 19:31don't have to tell you ultimatums or
576. 19:33tell you that. I could tell you once and
577. 19:35if you don't get it, you don't get it.
578. 19:37And then you're going to have to win me
579. 19:38back, but that's your problem. That's
580. 19:39not my problem. I'm spitting now cuz I'm
581. 19:41so passionate about it. Number eight,
582. 19:43you choose partners who are emotionally
583. 19:44available. You codependent people and
584. 19:47anxiously attached people, you choose
585. 19:49partners who are damaged because you
586. 19:50think you can only be loved in service
587. 19:53to somebody who is going to breadcrumb
588. 19:55you and not respect you. You don't see
589. 19:57yourself being in a secure relationship
590. 19:59because you don't see yourself that way.
591. 20:01Nine, you walk away from what doesn't
592. 20:02serve you. Not in a selfish way, but in
593. 20:05a let's not kill ourselves here and, you
594. 20:08know, survive on breadcrumbs cuz that's
595. 20:10not doing it for any, you know, just
596. 20:11have empathy for the person that's
597. 20:13breadcrumbming you. You're not their
598. 20:14ideal partner either. Let them be. Stop
599. 20:17trying to chase them down. And number
600. 20:1910, you know your worth with or without
601. 20:21a relationship.
602. 20:24We're all here on a journey.
603. 20:26your relation your your you and yourself
604. 20:29as a relationship enough you know
605. 20:32anyway I really really think that you
606. 20:34will enjoy it I think you should
607. 20:37register on the wait list when it comes
608. 20:39out see if you want to join and if not
609. 20:42doesn't matter I'll see you here next
610. 20:44week
611. 20:46for an episode maybe I'll tell you some
612. 20:47stories about my anxious attachment next
613. 20:49time and things I used to do oh my god
614. 20:51the things I used to
615. 20:54[Music]
616. 20:58I want to be
617. 21:02forever.
618. 21:03[Music]