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Tyler's Greatest Pet-Peeve About You Revealed (Click To Watch Tyler's Head Explode) — Transcript

by Owen Cook · 12,092 words · 1,951 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00So, we're sitting out here right on
0:01Hollywood Boulevard, the famous,
0:03infamous Hollywood. And you can imagine
0:05the kind of parties and clubbing that go
0:08on out here in Hollywood. I mean, it's
0:09crazy. People have a very short
0:11attention span. They often are very
0:13value-seeking. They're just looking for
0:15that next little chunk of value. And
0:17often times it feels like they have an
0:18attention span of an ant. Well, why do
0:21they have the attention span of an ant?
0:22Because they have so many options.
0:25Because they themselves are very high
0:27value and there's a lot of people coming
0:29at them who want to be involved with
0:31them in the environment like Hollywood
0:33or maybe Manhattan or South Beach,
0:35anywhere that's very posh. Maybe you've
0:37been to the South of France. You know
0:39what I'm getting at here. And it's funny
0:41because I grew up being lightly
0:43autistic, having no ability to read
0:44social cues. And as a way to kind of
0:47improve myself, I HAD JUST ENOUGH SOCIAL
0:49awareness that I actually moved myself
0:52right out to Hollywood, the most
0:53difficult environment possible, so that
0:55I could sharpen the saw, so that I could
0:57get very very skilled and put myself in
1:00the toughest environment possible. Now,
1:02over the years I tried so many different
1:04things to improve my social skills. It
1:05was my life's work. And one of the first
1:08things I tried was just coming up with
1:10wacky things to say. I thought, maybe
1:11that will hold attention if I just knew
1:13something really wacky to say. That's
1:15going to hold people's attention. And I
1:17mean, if you think about it, just
1:18imagine someone who's a huge nerd saying
1:20something kind of wacky. They can hold
1:22attention for a hot minute, but as soon
1:23as the thing that they say runs out,
1:25that's it. So, the next level that I
1:28went to was building my confidence. And
1:30I spent years and years really looking
1:32at myself, my beliefs, getting more
1:34present to the moment, releasing trauma,
1:36and many other things. And what I found
1:38is that this made me more naturally
1:40charismatic. That being said, even that
1:43has a limit if you don't have those hard
1:45skills of actually having charisma. In
1:47fact, I've had many people who I've
1:49taught in real life who have incredible
1:51confidence. They're very at peace with
1:52themselves, but I bring them out to
1:53anywhere where there's a lot of
1:54competing stimulus and they can't hold
1:56attention to save their lives. You could
1:58have I hate to say to sound crazier, but
2:00you could have a gun to their head, and
2:02they couldn't go out and hold attention
2:03to save their lives. Now, conversely,
2:05what if you're somebody who is really
2:06good at holding attention? Well, you
2:08could probably hold it a lot more. I
2:11think about it constantly. When I look
2:13AT GUYS TAKING OUR BEAUTIFUL RESEARCH
2:17and refusing to use it, and then here's
2:20where it gets You want to know where it
2:21gets crazier? I got to keep talking
2:22about this. You want to know where it
2:23gets crazier? Okay. Okay. Then, they
2:26come and they need 9 million techniques
2:30to combat their crappy voice.
2:34Because when your voice isn't good, you
2:37need 9 million freaking gimmicks to hold
2:41somebody's attention.
2:43And this is so bad. And the thing is, I
2:46talk about this in video after video
2:50after video, and no one listens. I'm
2:52like Winston Churchill before World War
2:54II. Guys, the Germans, THE GUY WITH THE
2:57MUSTACHE, this guy is going to be a
2:59problem. And they're like, "No. No
3:02problem. It'll be chill, bro."
3:06No.
3:08It's going to be a problem. Okay? And
3:10that's what you guys are doing. You're
3:12just leaving this huge problem here. And
3:15that's why every time I bring people on
3:17stage,
3:19I say, "Use your voice."
3:21And they're And they they think they're
3:22screaming.
3:24And then,
3:25they make no sound, and the audience
3:26tells them, "I can't hear you." And
3:28they're shocked, and they don't believe
3:30it. And I literally and and I can bring
3:33up FOUR OR FIVE GUYS IN A ROW TO DO IT.
3:35AND THEN, ALL Y'ALL WILL BE LAUGHING AT
3:37THEM, ARROGANT, thinking that you're any
3:40different, and you're not. You've been
3:42out. You've had it where people don't
3:43pay attention to you. You've seen the
3:44consequences of it. You've seen somebody
3:46you really want to meet, and you just
3:47can't make their acquaintance. You know
3:49the problems associated to that. You
3:51know how it's probably cost you
3:52promotions. You know how if you run a
3:54business it's made it where you can't be
3:55an ambassador for your brand or be an
3:57effective I mean look.
3:58My business we've grown this
3:59specifically for decades just from
4:01organic traffic. Only recently have we
4:03even been in a position to be able to do
4:05paid traffic. Now you may not know this
4:07every seminars company that you see or
4:09at least the vast majority are using
4:11millions a year if they're big in paid
4:13traffic. We couldn't do that until
4:15recently. We were the one seminar
4:16company that I'm aware of personally at
4:18least that I'm personally aware of that
4:20built our movement just off organic
4:23videos that we put out and literally
4:25just using raw charisma. The same skills
4:27that we sharpened out here in Hollywood
4:29we used to build an eight-figure a year
4:30business and a global movement. I'd like
4:33to show that to you. Why can't you build
4:35a global movement or get a better
4:36promotion or meet new people or be that
4:39person that everybody's excited to meet.
4:40I want to show you how to use your
4:42social energy and exactly how to do
4:44that. So look my good friend Jeff him
4:47and I have been working on a new
4:48program. It's called charisma mastery.
4:51And basically this is something that has
4:53been a brainchild that we've been
4:55working on for many years and we have
4:57been slaving away at this because we had
4:59a frustration point where we thought
5:00look we tell people you got to be more
5:02charismatic and they'd get frustrated. I
5:05mean I mean imagine that imagine you're
5:06working with me directly and saying use
5:07your charisma and you're SAYING HOW? HOW
5:10DO I DO IT? WHAT IS THE EXACT WAY THAT I
5:13WOULD LEARN THIS?
5:14TELL ME AND I'M saying be more
5:16confident. Maybe try saying something
5:18and you're saying it's just not that
5:20natural energy. Look I get it and we
5:22felt that. So we decided to address this
5:25and give you something that is
5:26step-by-step where you can go through a
5:28process and force yourself to learn
5:30this. We're going to take you by the
5:31hand walk you past the smoking wreckage
5:34of nonsense like things like this just
5:35crap. We're just going to walk we're
5:37just going to walk you past the crap
5:40that we have had to push away for you
5:42and take you directly from point A which
5:45is not being able to hold social
5:46attention to your maximum extent, no
5:47matter what level you're at, to point B,
5:49where you really get this and you are
5:51just a wizard with it. We want you to
5:53have mastery over this. And for that
5:55reason, that's why we call this program
5:57Charisma Mastery. Even with competing
6:00stimulus, we want to show you how to be
6:03able to hold attention and have it where
6:04people not only want to get your
6:06attention in real life when they're
6:07meeting you, but want to follow up and
6:09get to know you better even after you've
6:11met. So, what we're going to do right
6:12now in this video is we're going to show
6:14you exactly how it is that we like to
6:17help people build out their charisma.
6:18And this is going to be really, really
6:21intense the way that we do this, okay?
6:22Because we're going to take through a
6:23group of people
6:25in this process and you're going to see
6:27them actually making a change. Now, I
6:29want you to click the link below and
6:31sign up for Charisma Mastery because
6:33this is something that we have teamed up
6:34on to take it to the next level for your
6:37life.
6:51Jeff is always working on something
6:53really, really deep. He's always got
6:54some deep project. Sometimes he's, you
6:56know, writing a book for 2 years.
6:58Sometimes working on some kind of
6:59program for 2 years. Like, you know,
7:00whatever it is, right? So, his recent
7:02one that he spent a couple years working
7:03on now around the clock. I barely see
7:04this guy anymore. He's just working on
7:06it all the time. He's sending me
7:07outlines. He's sending me drafts. He's
7:08been in the lab working on this.
7:10Remember Dr. Dre, The Chronic? You
7:11remember that? Right? He's in the up in
7:13the lab, the ped ped in the pad and
7:15trying to get the damn label off.
7:16Remember that? That's kind of Jeff right
7:17now. So, Jeff has been basically getting
7:19this off the ground and getting it like
7:21just going through everything, really
7:22creating something of quality and
7:24something that's life-changing. And he's
7:26gone really, really deep on this. I
7:28believe that Jeff has the most in-depth
7:31understanding of charisma in the world,
7:33okay? In the world. He's been teaching
7:35live events. Our team in general, 265
7:38cities, 75 countries around on world.
7:40Hundreds of thousands of peop- of people
7:42face to face and millions online. Jeff,
7:45we've been rocking this literally he's
7:46been doing this since 2003.
7:49So, you seen an event like this? 17
7:50years.
7:51Okay, 17 years as of now. Whatever
7:53you're watching this in the future,
7:54since 2003. Can you imagine how much
7:57background experience he has with this?
7:59Is there anyone in here who's like 17 or
8:0018? 19. Oh, cool. I could be your dad.
8:04Yeah. If you don't know your dad, I
8:06might be him. Yeah.
8:08Jeff might even be my dad.
8:10So,
8:12Time travel. Yeah. So, but you see you
8:14see the idea, right? There's So, what
8:16we're going to show you, there's a lot
8:17of information you'd find online. What
8:19we're going to be showing you here is
8:20something in-depth, something powerful,
8:23something tested, something
8:24life-changing, something that can help
8:26you get your goals in health, wealth,
8:28relationship, higher purpose. This to me
8:30is one of the major keys, okay? So,
8:32basically what we're going to do we're
8:32going to start breaking this down, give
8:34you some knowledge, and then we're going
8:35to go also into examples where we'll
8:37bring people up and we'll do some
8:38transformation work. Does that sound
8:39good? Yeah. Okay.
8:41One thing that I've seen time and time
8:43and time and time again
8:46is these people that come on these
8:47programs.
8:49They've engaged with these this material
8:50for many years. They can recite the
8:52theory like the back of their hand. They
8:54know it very well. However, when it
8:56comes time to actually execute, they
8:57have an inability to inability to do so.
9:00And why is that?
9:02Why do you think that is?
9:04Fear.
9:08There's a lot of different things that
9:10are happening, but essentially
9:11something's blocking them. There are a
9:12variety of internal blocks. So, what I
9:14wanted to do, I wanted to investigate
9:16this so-called human energy system
9:20to down to the the molecular level and
9:21see what are all of the different
9:22components. How do they interrelate as a
9:25holistic whole communicative system? How
9:27can you fix identify and fix weaknesses
9:30in each area,
9:32isolate those weaknesses, exercise them,
9:35reintegrate them into a more completely
9:36realized whole. So, it's interesting
9:39because like you said, I've been in like
9:42a pit for the past
9:448 months where all I'm doing like
9:46literally before I came here I I spent
9:4813 hours editing. I've been editing
9:51these videos very close to completion,
9:53but I've been editing videos for like 16
9:54hours a day for the past 2 weeks. I like
9:57maybe going outside once in a while to
9:59feel the air on my face, but it's coming
10:01very close to completion. So, last
10:03weekend I was up in Vancouver.
10:06And I had two students that it seemed as
10:10though God
10:11had put these gentlemen in front of me
10:14to tell you to tell me, "You're on the
10:16right track, buddy.
10:18This is why you're doing this."
10:21I I heard this I heard this I heard this
10:23I got the what I got the updates of this
10:24all weekend over WhatsApp. So Keep
10:26going, buddy.
10:27Cuz these guys need this. So, what we're
10:29talking about one of these Let's give
10:32you an example. One of the guys
10:34you know, a very nice guy, great value
10:37right? Seemed like a like a nice person,
10:39had a good job, etc. etc. He goes to
10:42talk to these people.
10:44He's completely deadpan.
10:46He has what we call sad face.
10:47Okay?
10:48It's an acronym.
10:50Serious
10:51anxious deadpan. Like very serious.
10:56This interaction I'm having is serious
10:58business. Right? Anxious. I hope it
11:01works. I hope it works. And then
11:03deadpan. Because what you don't show
11:05can't hurt you. All right? Furthermore
11:07his entire his entire kinesthetic mode
11:10as we call it
11:12completely shut down. Body language
11:14completely shut down.
11:16Racked with tension. Obvious tension all
11:18through his shoulders and body.
11:20Wouldn't take his hands out of his
11:21pockets.
11:23Movements are stiff.
11:25Mannerisms are stiff.
11:27Shuffling, jerky, shut down. The voice
11:32monotone
11:34inexpressive. So, how is one thing to
11:37understand, you might be this great guy,
11:41but people don't know a damn thing about
11:43you until you bring it to them. So, if
11:45you don't have the ability to actually
11:48create a compelling vibe when you're
11:51communicating with people, you are done.
11:53You are absolutely done. It's not even
11:55going to get off the ground. So, one
11:57thing, you know, as you as you were
11:58saying earlier, most people
12:00and a lot of people in this room most
12:01likely are coming from some sort of
12:04background where maybe your your
12:05profession is very logical. Maybe you're
12:07an engineer. You know, it's a Bay Area.
12:09Everyone eventually goes to tech or you
12:11move out, right? So,
12:13You got to go on the streets or you go
12:14on tech.
12:16You start shooting on the streets or you
12:19move to Denver or something, right? So,
12:22So,
12:24you know, a lot of times, you know, in
12:25your day-to-day life,
12:27the communication that you engage in in
12:29your profession is most like it's
12:30concise, right? You need to convey
12:32information in a short in a short time
12:34frame that makes sense. It's logical. In
12:37a situation where you're meeting people
12:38socially,
12:40this is not the case. So, what I've come
12:42to understand in more recent times is
12:45essentially
12:47the words
12:49and words have meanings, okay? And that
12:50that's important to an extent. You
12:52should kind of make sense to an extent
12:54in whatever language you're speaking,
12:57but the word the verbals are essentially
12:59the words salad that give them the
13:01ostensible reason to stay there and keep
13:04talking to you. So, what you're trying
13:05to do, you're trying to balance two
13:06things. You're trying to balance number
13:08one, what you might call a vertical
13:10lyric expansion or a vertical vibe
13:12development, which is essentially an
13:15emotional feeling generated by what?
13:18Generated by your external projective
13:20communications. Now, with all human
13:22communication is based on what?
13:26Our senses. We have five senses. What
13:28are your five senses? Smell, taste,
13:30touch, hearing, sight. We don't use the
13:33first two to communicate. All right, I'm
13:35not like, "Taste me, bro." Okay? Like
13:38that's that's not how we communicate.
13:39And hopefully you're not using smell,
13:41okay?
13:43You know, do a breath check, okay? So,
13:45but hopefully you you know, you're not
13:47using those two in normal circumstances.
13:48So, that leaves us with the last three,
13:50which are sight, sound, and touch. And
13:53the corresponding projective modes are
13:55what?
13:56Vocals, the noises that are being
13:58generated out of your mouth, and the
14:00corresponding verbal meanings associated
14:01with them.
14:02The
14:03specific emotional messages that are
14:06being sent with the eye focus process
14:09and the musculature of the face.
14:11And then your movement through space,
14:13gesture, and touch. So, again, we have
14:15the kinesthetic mode, we have the vocal
14:17mode, and then we have the facial
14:19emotional complex. So, all human
14:21communication is based on some
14:23combination of these three modes
14:25expressing themselves. These modes can
14:27be congruent with each other, they can
14:28be incongruent. There's a lot of
14:31interesting interplay between all of
14:33these modes. And so, we want to develop
14:36with this whole charisma training, with
14:38with these guys who are very shut down,
14:40I'm not trying to train them on
14:42behavioral choice. I'm trying to train
14:44them in behavioral capacity.
14:47Do you understand?
14:48Range. Exactly. So, in exercise, you
14:51practice what you can't do. In
14:53performance or actual interaction, you
14:56allow what you can, if that makes sense.
14:59So, that's the idea with a lot of these
15:00ex- So, I developed an exercise process
15:03that would actually allow people to
15:05engage with this stuff on a daily basis
15:07and expand their gestural vocabulary.
15:09For those of you who are not that
15:10familiar with this, we do this kind of
15:11work all the time. And we bring up
15:13different people and we can see
15:14different blockages, we can see what
15:16they're dealing with. It's a lot like a
15:17chiropractor can see things like
15:18posture, or somebody who does
15:20weightlifting can see the strength that
15:21somebody has. You can see this in their
15:24systems, the kind of charisma that you
15:25have. And some people will have a lot of
15:27it, although it may not be well
15:28controlled. Other people will have not
15:30very much of it, but what they do have
15:31is well controlled. There's a big range
15:32of it. So, we'll probably Do you want to
15:33maybe bring up maybe choose a couple
15:35different people that you can even
15:37just show some different examples and
15:38kind of you can you can hear it in
15:40vocal, you can see it in body language
15:41and demeanor, in ways they carry
15:43themselves. We'll see it and we'll see
15:44it in a few of you. So, we can just make
15:45it a little bit more practical so you
15:46can see kind of what we're talking about
15:47here. And then by the way, as you're
15:49looking at the different people up here,
15:50ask yourself a question such as could
15:52they get a promotion at work?
15:54How likely would they be to get a
15:55promotion at work? Let's say this person
15:57works really hard, would they be able
15:59Let's say they run a business, would
16:00they be a good ambassador for their
16:02business? Could they Could they present
16:04what they're doing in their business in
16:06a way where people would want to be
16:07recruited and be a part of it? Could
16:09they recruit people to their vision?
16:11Could they have an amazing dating life?
16:13Could they make friends easily? Could
16:15they get invited to cool parties? Could
16:17they get invited into better networking
16:18groups? And just ask yourself those
16:19questions as you see people coming up,
16:21which is pretty harsh.
16:23Little harsh, right? But ask yourself
16:24those questions as you see, and then
16:26Jeff will start breaking down why that
16:28is and what we can change to improve
16:29those results. So, when people want to
16:32express an emotion, there's this what we
16:34call often this justification by
16:36tension. Okay? So, I go to a lot of
16:39karaoke, for example, and I'm able to
16:40witness a lot of awful singing. Uh some
16:42of it by my friends, some of it by
16:44myself. And I have a There's a friend of
16:46mine
16:47who makes who who has a tendency to make
16:49these
16:50screwed up faces when he sings, right?
16:53Like he'll he always say What is that
16:54song he sings? Like
16:56Wham, wake me up. He's like He's like
16:58Wake me up before you go-go. I'm not a
17:02fan of those songs.
17:04Right? And I'm like, why is he making
17:06these faces?
17:08And he's like, well, I want it to be
17:09emotional.
17:11I want it to be emotional. So, he feels
17:13that he needs to call into play
17:14kinesthetic and facial tension in order
17:17to justify this increased expenditure of
17:19vocal energy. But in reality, and this
17:21is a huge like overriding overarching
17:24theme of this entire program, tension is
17:26the enemy. Like some singing teachers
17:28will teach you to like grip the floor
17:30with your feet or, you know, squeeze up.
17:33And in fact, when you're out interacting
17:35and meeting people like in a bar or
17:37club, whatever,
17:38a lot of times people you'll start to
17:40you'll just have this
17:42generalized
17:43tension.
17:45In order to sort of, again, justify this
17:47increased expenditure of emotional
17:49energy that you're going to do when you
17:50start to interact with people. And the
17:52feeling, it's like you're wearing this
17:53kind of corset, right? You're wearing
17:56this sort of like tight body suit that
17:58constricts you, right? To get ready to
18:00do something. But in reality, all it's
18:03doing is burning your energy. It's
18:05wasting your energy. So, again, no held
18:07tension can be justified.
18:09Right? That's one of the biggest things.
18:11So, I don't know Now, first of all,
18:12let's let's have a look here. I want to
18:14um
18:15I want you to uh here, step back a
18:17little bit. And as you as you speak,
18:21I want you to wave your arms like this.
18:22So, do it again, say hi do the whole
18:23introductory thing.
18:25Hi everybody. My name is Kevin.
18:27Uh I live in Dublin Dublin. I'm 23 years
18:30old Yeah. and I work at a software
18:32company. So, again, I feel I feel a lot
18:34of held tension in his shoulders here.
18:37And the the thing is, again, you're
18:38probably unaware that you're even doing
18:40this. Because over time, these tensions
18:43become so ingrained that they become
18:44subthreshold. You're unaware of them.
18:46Anyone know what Rolfing is?
18:48In here, show of hands. Who can explain
18:50what that is briefly?
18:52Rolfing or Rolfing? Essentially
18:54No, that's that's Rolfing.
18:56It's different. Ida Rolf created a
18:58massage
19:02What's that? So, it's essentially an
19:03extreme massage technique that lasts
19:05maybe, I don't know, was it 10 or 12
19:07weeks?
19:0710 series. It's a series of It's a
19:09series of 10 extreme massage techniques
19:12where they're deep they're doing deep
19:13tissue manipulation in an effort to
19:16remove these early emotional traumas
19:19that become ingrained and become
19:21sub-threshold over time.
19:23Uh
19:24R O L F
19:26Right? Now again, I'm no expert in this
19:28stuff. I know very little about it, but
19:30I've heard that people who engage with
19:31this often times when those tensions are
19:33released repressed memories of like
19:35early traumas will come up. Right? So
19:38again, I'm not suggesting that you've
19:39got these early traumas, you were
19:40touched by an uncle or anything like
19:41that, but um you know, again just daily
19:44life. It could just be like anytime you
19:47like it could be school, it could be the
19:48media, it could be religious upbringing,
19:51it could be corporate culture, a variety
19:52of things come into play that create
19:54these so-called negative social
19:56conditionings. So, first thing to do
19:59is just to actually
20:01just do a just do a a physical like a a
20:03conscious tension check. Okay? And I
20:05want you to release
20:07any held tension that you feel you might
20:08have. Okay? Just do a body check like a
20:10body scan right now. Just from head
20:12feeling in your face,
20:13feeling in the throat, the shoulders,
20:17the abdominals, the quads, the even the
20:20ankles. Okay? And I want you to kind of
20:23rock back and forth. Get very loose.
20:24Make sure your jaw's loose, too.
20:27Breathe a couple times.
20:30Okay? Now try it again to go back go to
20:32the back.
20:37Okay. He's still holding. What what
20:39level do you think he's at there on a
20:40scale of 1 to 10? Two. Two. He's
20:42probably about a two or a four. Now one
20:44thing that could be interesting
20:47let's all do it together, okay?
20:49Ready?
20:51And do it again do IT WITH US.
20:55OKAY? NOW JUST DO
21:01OKAY? AGAIN.
21:07OKAY. NOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO, WE'RE
21:09ALL GOING TO DO IT together again except
21:10when I go like this, everyone else drop
21:12out but you and keep doing it. Okay,
21:14ready?
21:19Okay, let's do it again and drop out
21:20quicker so we can hear him. Ready?
21:24Now, you keep going.
21:25Okay? Let's do IT AGAIN. READY?
21:30SEE, HE WAS ACTUALLY BETTER THERE. DO
21:31YOU HEAR THAT? IT WAS MORE CLEAR. It's
21:32less of a pinched tone. So, now what I
21:36like you to do, I mean again, we're just
21:38talking about sheer projection here.
21:40Right? This is just sheer projection.
21:42But again, facial expressions we're
21:45going to start with the face here. And
21:47the reason we're going to start with the
21:48face is because the face is the only
21:49mode that can communicate specific
21:51messages without the help of the other
21:54two.
21:55Right? Again, when you're speaking, the
21:58face is always coming into play just due
21:59to the close proximity of it to the
22:01whole apparatus.
22:03Physical gestures have no innate meaning
22:06until they are given meaning by the
22:08addition of either the vocal quality or
22:11the the facial expressions. Does that
22:12make sense? There is no meaning inherent
22:15meaning to a to a gesture. And again,
22:18one thing that I like to do to
22:19demonstrate that, if I go like this,
22:22Okay, so tell me uh
22:24what emotion am I expressing here when I
22:26when I do this hand gesture?
22:29Anger. Anger. [ __ ] off. Fury.
22:35Right? So, you think it's anger,
22:37but when it's like, "No, it's like he's
22:38cheering."
22:40You don't know. So again, a fist through
22:41the air
22:43has a powerful energy to it, but you
22:45don't know if it's a about to hit
22:47someone or if it's cheering for the
22:49sports team until until again, it's
22:51given context by the facial messages and
22:53then possibly the vocal tone and then
22:54the context of the situation. Same
22:56thing, you know, if you see it like a
22:57somebody crouched around the corner
22:59ready to jump out, you don't know if
23:02he's going to surprise his wife,
23:04"Surprise, honey." Or if he's going to,
23:05you know, kill his enemy.
23:08It It tell it's again given context by
23:10what he says, his facial expression, and
23:12again the context of the situation. So,
23:14with with the face,
23:16the first thing that we're going to do,
23:18and we're all going to do this, all
23:19right? Cuz remember, it it as we get
23:21into this, we're not we're not do going
23:23to do this stuff in practice when you're
23:25actually interacting with people. We're
23:27merely attempting to expand our
23:30vocabulary here. So, the first thing
23:31that we're going to do, it's very
23:32simple, it's called a facial flex. And
23:34this is something for people who are
23:35shut down facially that you can do every
23:37morning, we call it face brushing. Much
23:39in the same way you'd brush your teeth,
23:41you'd brush your face. And you're going
23:43to do this every single day in or just
23:45in order to expand the vocabulary of
23:47emotional messages that you can send
23:49with the face. So, the first thing that
23:51we're going to do is we're going to
23:53Let's Let's just go through the facial
23:54flex right now, okay? So, the first
23:56thing we're going to do, all open.
23:59Okay? All closed.
24:03And by the way,
24:05one thing to watch as you do these,
24:07look for entanglements that come into
24:09play. Like, you see when I did this?
24:11My shoulders tensed up as well. There's
24:12no need for that. So, again,
24:16breathe, make com- completely loose.
24:18We're just exercising the musculature of
24:20the face surrounding the eyes. That's
24:21it. And the eyelids. So, again, full
24:24open.
24:26Full closed.
24:29Okay?
24:31Top open, bottom closed.
24:35Top closed, bottom open.
24:39Okay? Um all to the left.
24:45All to the right.
24:49Okay? Top Top right. Top left, bottom
24:52right.
24:57Top right, bottom left.
25:04All down.
25:07All up.
25:09Top up, bottom down.
25:14Top down, bottom up.
25:18Okay? So, now
25:22So, now what we're going to do
25:24Now
25:25Now, we're going to just do a facial
25:26flex. And for again, for 20 to 30
25:29seconds, we're simply going to make as
25:31just move the muscles in as many
25:34conceivable ways as you you possibly
25:35can. Okay, ready?
25:37Set. Go.
25:56And again, pay attention to any like
25:58entanglements that are coming to play
25:59here, okay?
26:00Stop. Now,
26:02let's take a moment. Now, great. That
26:03was Again, give yourself praise for the
26:05energy that you gave there,
26:07okay?
26:08Because
26:10it's very important as you're doing all
26:12of these exercises that you as corny as
26:14it sounds praise that energy. Because
26:16again, when you're exercising, it has to
26:18be a space that is completely free of
26:21judgmental inhibition, right? Ag- Again,
26:24there's no wrong answers in this
26:26exercise space. That's what allows you
26:28to bring it like remember what we said,
26:30you're not doing this in practice when
26:31you're meeting people. It's like in in
26:33exercise, practice what you can't do in
26:35process or in in
26:37uh performance, allow what you can.
26:39Okay? So,
26:41as you do it,
26:43notice any entanglements that came into
26:45play. For me, I I'll stop breathing.
26:47That's the one thing I always do. I'll
26:49stop breathing.
26:51Right? So, now what we want to do, we're
26:54going to do an extra I want to do an
26:56extreme facial mask. Okay? Now, what
26:59what is the extreme facial mask?
27:01Basically,
27:02you're going to make a ridiculous facial
27:04mask
27:05and you're going to hold it for 15
27:07seconds with zero tension in the body.
27:10Okay? So, as you So, first let's do it
27:13for 10 seconds. Just make some
27:14ridiculous extreme mask.
27:24Okay, now stop. Now, again, think what
27:26entanglements came into play. Did the
27:28shoulders tense up?
27:30Did the quads tense up?
27:32Was there Was there Did the breathing
27:33stop?
27:35Okay? So, let's make the same one again,
27:37but this time focusing on releasing
27:38those entanglements, okay? So,
27:43like ideally, as you make this,
27:46you can walk around, you can do the
27:48dishes,
27:52you can drive the car, you can uh
27:53perform a dance move.
27:59Okay? Release.
28:01So,
28:12So,
28:15Okay, so what we're going to do now,
28:17we're going to start to add in some
28:19arbitrary emotional attitudes to these
28:22weird masks. Okay? So, why are we doing
28:25this? What is an What is an attitude?
28:27Basically, so I've got a a list of
28:29random attitude cards here,
28:32which we're going to explore. So, you
28:33have sharp,
28:35mocking,
28:36apologetic,
28:38dull, etc. So, an attitude, any one of
28:42these words, it's a message to the
28:44intellect. It's a message to the
28:45projective modes and the intuitive mind
28:47of the projective modes to perform and
28:50express.
28:52So, what we're going to do right now,
28:53we're going to make an extreme mask and
28:55then as I add these in, you're going to
28:58express these while holding the extreme
29:01mask.
29:02Okay, as bizarre as that sounds. All
29:04right? So, first
29:06again, keep tensions free. Let's draw a
29:07mask. Ready?
29:12And now while holding that same mask,
29:14make it angry somehow.
29:21Okay? Now switch. Now make it
29:24disappointed.
29:29And again, you might feel the
29:30kinesthetic come into play.
29:32Right?
29:33Now make it playful.
29:38And the focus process might come into
29:39play as well.
29:42Now make it bored.
29:48Okay? Now drop them all. Now what I want
29:51to do next and we're I'm going to
29:52burning through these very very quickly.
29:54Normally, we do a lot more um
29:57we do a lot more uh work with these, but
30:00again, we have limited time scope here.
30:01But what I want you to do now, we're
30:03just going to work with these in
30:06in isolation. Okay? And what we're going
30:09to do, we're going to start to expand
30:11them
30:12to greater and greater levels. Okay? So,
30:15the first one I want you to do
30:18I want you to do ashamed.
30:21What does that look like? Okay, I want
30:23you to do
30:25terrified.
30:28Okay?
30:29And then I want you to do
30:31pathetic.
30:35Okay?
30:37Okay. So, now
30:39what I want you to do, I want you to
30:40hold that
30:42at maybe Okay, hold terrified. You're
30:44terrified.
30:45Okay? You're not scared. You're [ __ ]
30:47terrified. Okay? What are you again?
30:49Ashamed. Ashamed? Pathetic. Okay, so
30:52take those Now, it looks like right now
30:54you guys got these about at about a
30:55three.
30:57I want you to take them to a five.
31:04Okay, now a seven.
31:09Now a one.
31:12Now a seven.
31:16Now a 14.
31:21Now, do you believe he's terrified? No.
31:24Like I Like I'm talking like a guy with
31:26a chainsaw is about to cut his balls
31:28off.
31:29Like that's terrified. This So, you're
31:31looking like this. He's like
31:35That's more That's more like My golly,
31:37I'm surprised the new Star Wars movie
31:40sucks. Like that
31:42Haven't seen it, can't speak to it,
31:44don't really know.
31:46Okay? So, again, I want you to go even
31:48like ridiculous. Okay? Terrified, take
31:51it at a five.
31:52Pathetic, take it at a five.
31:55Ashamed, take it at a five.
31:57Okay?
31:58Now, take this to a nine.
32:01Terr- All three of you.
32:06Okay, now back to a one.
32:08So, you can get a rebound effect down to
32:09a one.
32:11Now a 10.
32:14He looks amused.
32:16All right. He looks He looks basically
32:17amused. So, okay, let's see you do You
32:19guys do terrified.
32:24So, terrified, it's going to be like
32:25eyebrows up,
32:27apart,
32:29eyes wide open, mouth open, lips drawn
32:32horizontally back. Right? Again, so
32:36it's interesting that you're incapable
32:38of doing that.
32:41No, it's it's actually quite
32:43interesting. So, what's what's
32:45suppressing this? He doesn't even know
32:47he's doing it. Much of the same way that
32:49when you were shouting earlier, you're
32:51thinking that's the you're literally
32:52believing that's the loudest you can go.
32:55Right? You're literally believing that's
32:56the loudest you can go.
32:58Now, in fact,
33:00let's do another little little exercise
33:02here. In fact, let's try let's try the
33:04projection exercise again. Okay? So,
33:07let's go let's I want you to say to the
33:08back, be like, "What's up, guys? How's
33:11it going?"
33:13What's up, guys? How's it going? Like
33:15that you I really like that. You know
33:16what? IN FACT,
33:19YOU KNOW WHAT'S YOU KNOW WHAT'S UM YOU
33:21KNOW what I think is allowing him to do
33:22that? There's a couple things. Number
33:24one, everything seems very loose. Like
33:26your your entire posture seems very
33:28loose, very upright. Um I'm not seeing a
33:31lot of held tension here.
33:32And
33:34again, it's very resonant. Have you ever
33:36Have you ever done singing before? Uh
33:38I've tried singing. You've tried it.
33:39He's tried it. He's played Let's do it
33:40again. "Hey, guys. How's it going?" Hey,
33:43guys. How's it going? Okay.
33:45Second. Hey, guys. How's it going?
33:48Pretty good. Pretty resonant.
33:50Hey, guys. How's it going? So, again,
33:52can you can you hear the the distinction
33:54there? When it gets to him, he's got a
33:57lot of held tension there.
33:59It's a lot of held tension. So, one
34:01thing I want you to think about doing is
34:03first off, it sounds like number one,
34:05you're you're pushing air.
34:07Okay? You're kind of pushing air. So,
34:10look, that's the conventional wisdom,
34:12right? Push from the diaphragm. What's
34:13the problem with that? You're pushing a
34:15lot of air through this this whole
34:17apparatus. Basically, yeah, it will
34:20if you push enough, it'll make a loud
34:22sound.
34:23But, it won't sound clear or clean.
34:27It'll sound kind of
34:29just kind of vague like hollow and
34:31unattractive, and it won't project very
34:33far. Or, if you are projecting it very
34:35far, what's going to happen?
34:37Voice going to get shot. It It damage It
34:38will damage. So, what What I've learned
34:41is basically
34:43And again, I used to lose my voice all
34:45the time after these events. You know,
34:46especially after a a full complement of
34:49the events of the week between the the
34:50boot camp, etc. etc. So, one thing I
34:52learned was yes, you need to have a
34:55carefully
34:57controlled fountain of air that's
34:59maintaining a precise relationship to
35:02the need put upon it by again, the
35:04demands of what whatever you're trying
35:06to do. But, again,
35:09I I don't want to just be willy-nilly
35:10pushing air. I want to generate the
35:12power
35:13more from the constriction
35:16of this sort of sock around the
35:19epiglottis. All right, it's called the
35:21aryepiglottic
35:22sphincter, okay? LOL badum-chish. Right?
35:25Um but but basically, it Think about it
35:27like this. If you have a hose,
35:29you turn the water on,
35:31it just comes out. But, if you pinch the
35:33hose,
35:35now it becomes a more concentrated
35:37stream cuz you have pressure. So, two
35:39things I want you to do here cuz I I
35:41want to I want to work through this this
35:42vocal thing here. First off,
35:45think about pinching the muscle around
35:47the voice box. Okay, you're going to
35:49squeeze it, and it's going to be it's
35:50going to be a stream that goes to the
35:52back like a laser-like beam that goes
35:54directly to the back of the room. You're
35:56not talking to these guys, you're
35:57talking to the back wall.
35:59Okay? You're talking to the the very
36:01You're talking to Ryan at the back,
36:02okay? So,
36:04that's number one. Number two, I want
36:07you to keep the jaw loose, and I want
36:09you to think about bouncing the sound
36:13off the hard palate.
36:15Okay? So, everyone feel for your hard
36:16palate right now. Again, so put your
36:19tongue behind your teeth.
36:20Okay, and then slide it back.
36:22You feel where it's like a drop up?
36:25Whoop, it goes up. That's your hard
36:26palate. So, pinch, bounce the sound off
36:29that, and try to beam it back to to Ryan
36:31there. So, again, Hey, excuse me.
36:34I've been sick. Hey,
36:36like, hey, how's it going, Ryan?
36:39Boom.
36:40Hey, how's it going, Ryan? Hey.
36:44Hey, how's it going, Ryan?
36:46Okay, pinch it more, okay? I want I want
36:48it to Again, I want you to even think
36:49about it resonating up through the head.
36:51In fact, think about it coming
36:54out of the forehead and out up and out
36:57like that. So, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HOW'S
37:01HOW'S IT GOING? HOW HOW'S IT GOING?
37:05OKAY? HEY.
37:06HEY, how's it going, Ryan? Okay.
37:09Hey, how's it going, Ryan?
37:12Okay, take it louder. Hey, how's it
37:14going, Ryan? Okay, project it back, and
37:17I want you I want you to feel it. In
37:18fact, bring it up here. Look at my face.
37:21Bring it up up here to the eyes. So,
37:23it's like, hey.
37:25Hey.
37:26There he is. Hey, how's it going, Ryan?
37:28Yeah, there he is right there. Good.
37:30That's that's And I know how And And the
37:32thing is,
37:35bro, I know I know how hard it is to
37:36actually do that. That's why it's not
37:38this huge achievement, but I you can
37:41definitely hear it's more of a clear
37:43tone, and it's going back. Let's try it
37:44again one more time. Hey.
37:46Hey.
37:47Hey.
37:48Hey. It's better. It's definitely It's
37:51It was a two before, so it's probably a
37:52five now. But again, this is a process.
37:55It's an ongoing thing. And look, the the
37:58most important thing is that you don't
38:00feel guilt, you don't feel ashamed of
38:02this stuff. You just recognize it for
38:04what it is, cuz again, if you're like,
38:05oh, this sucks that I'm like this,
38:07that's just adding to the judgmental
38:08burden, which is the problem in the
38:10first place. Because as you're trying to
38:12do this expenditure of emotional energy,
38:14intellectual judgment comes into play,
38:16and then it calls these tensions into
38:18play as its enforcer to kind of shut it
38:20down. Which is interesting, because, you
38:22know, over time you begin to equate the
38:25repression of the emotion with its
38:28expression.
38:29Like the moment that you want to express
38:31the emotion, boom, it's shut down. These
38:34These two things are the same event in
38:36time, almost. Or, you know, eventually
38:38that's what it becomes. So, eventually
38:41you think that the repression of the
38:43emotion is the expression of the emotion
38:44itself.
38:46And so, it it's Again, these things can
38:48be very, very difficult to number
38:49identify and then release, but it's part
38:52of a process. Okay, thanks for being up
38:53here, guys.
38:54Come on down. Like, jump on down.
38:57Cheers. Cheers.
38:59Now, um By the way, as we do the
39:01exercise in the future, we'll get them
39:02to pass the microphone. Oh, of course.
39:04Yeah, yeah.
39:04to do one more where they pass around a
39:05bit? Uh sure, but in fact, you want to
39:07like uh like chit-chat a little bit
39:09about what we saw there and then we'll
39:10like we'll call some up. So, let me just
39:12take this off cuz I'm getting like quite
39:14warm up here.
39:16So, now let's do something a little bit
39:17different.
39:18Yeah.
39:19And um let's pick it like let's get a
39:21couple volunteers up here, another
39:22couple volunteers.
39:25Um we'll get the hat lady. We'll get
39:27this uh fleece guy here, you next to
39:31Lee.
39:32And we'll get you with the Henley shirt.
39:38It's your turn.
39:41Henley shirt. Okay, so what's your name?
39:43Rue. Rue, what's your name?
39:44Barry. Barry.
39:46Josiah. And Josiah. And everybody come
39:49to the front. Lay up against the front
39:51and anybody that doesn't put the mic up
39:52to your mouth, okay?
39:53Oh, yeah. So, do we have a mic up here?
40:01Okay. So, what we're going to do now is
40:04I want to um
40:06practice a couple different things here.
40:09And first I want to do let's let's start
40:11with something pretty simple.
40:13Let's start with process changes.
40:16Okay? So, I want you to basically I want
40:19each of you guys to tell a short
40:2130-second story about how you arrived
40:25here tonight.
40:27Okay?
40:28And basically what I want you to do I
40:29want you to change
40:32from Actually, I got a better idea.
40:35Okay, I got a better idea. So,
40:37three people raise their hands.
40:39I'm I'm a Okay, I'm going to You, you,
40:40and you. You three up here.
40:42Get a word in your head, and I want you
40:44to say them. Do you have your word in
40:45your head?
40:47Bike. Well, no, don't say it out loud.
40:50Okay, so you're done. Okay, what Come up
40:52with a word in your head a word in your
40:53head your word in your head. You got
40:54your words? Okay, now say it out loud.
40:56Manifest. Banana. Preposterous. Okay, so
40:59you're going to come up with a short
41:00story and the beginning, middle, and end
41:03are going to be manifest, banana, and
41:05preposterous.
41:10Go. Oh, and as you do this,
41:14you're going to change process
41:16from a You're going to start out ashamed
41:19and you're going to end up at hopeful.
41:23Okay.
41:24What were the three words? Manifest.
41:26Banana. Preposterous. Okay, manifest
41:29banana and preposterous.
41:31So, my friend Chris always talks about
41:34You're ashamed. You're ashamed now.
41:36And it's just
41:38manifesting doesn't work like that.
41:40Like, how can you even think that's
41:41something that would work? Like, I don't
41:43even want to be seen with you.
41:45Oh my goodness. Oh, hold on. Let's add
41:47in another one, too. Just to make it
41:49more complicated. So,
41:51so manifest, banana, preposterous, and
41:52you're going to go from ashamed to
41:53hopeful, and you're also going to go
41:55from soft to loud. Okay, boom. Cuz we're
41:58going to change the vocal process, too.
42:00So, we're working again facial
42:01expressions with the emotional attitude,
42:03and also you can also call into play
42:05your entire physicality. For ashamed,
42:07you could be like ashamed versus
42:08hopeful, and then again bring the face,
42:10and then as you go for Again, with with
42:13the three words, what we're exercising
42:14is imaginative capacity to come up with
42:17stuff on the fly. And then, also we're
42:19we're flexing the voice from soft to
42:21loud. Okay? So, soft to loud, ashamed to
42:23hopeful, manifest banana, prosperity.
42:26Wait, what was it? Preposterous.
42:27Preposterous. Okay, go. Boom. And he
42:30comes up to me, right? He's like, "If
42:32you want something, you should manifest
42:34it." And you know, I'm thinking like,
42:39"What does that even mean? What's
42:41How could you even tell me something
42:43like that?" And then, he goes downstairs
42:46to the basement, right?
42:47He grabs a yellow banana, hands it to
42:50me, he's like, "If you want to be
42:51preposterous,
42:53just take this out in front of anyone,
42:56peel it,
42:57make eye contact while you eat it."
43:00That's good. All right. Go ahead. Good.
43:04Okay. So,
43:05So, what we're doing here, again, we're
43:07we're learning to This is also a
43:08coordinating coordinating skill
43:11exercise. Cuz we're You're trying to
43:12coordinate And this is very difficult,
43:14by the way. Very few people that just
43:15popped up. Normally, we would do this at
43:17the end of like the 8-hour day, where
43:19we've worked all of these different
43:20things. So, kind of putting you guys on
43:22the spot here. Sorry. But, sorry, as
43:25they say in Canada, which is up there.
43:26It's a great place. Um so, let's get
43:28another three words. So, again, you You
43:31three guys here, you, you, and you.
43:33Word, word, word. Get them in your mind
43:35so you're not influencing each other.
43:36Okay? You got your word? You got your
43:38word? You got your word?
43:39Okay?
43:40Which. Jaguar. Paper. Which, Jaguar,
43:44paper. Okay? So, you're going to Your
43:47Your story's going to start with the
43:48word which, middle Jaguar, then paper.
43:51You're going to go from
43:52nonchalant
43:54to confused.
43:57Actually, let's go from nonchalant to
43:59frantic.
44:01And you're going to change process from
44:03speaking slowly to speaking very
44:06quickly.
44:07Okay? Go.
44:10So So my my friend, right? Slower.
44:14My friend.
44:14And more nonchalant.
44:16My friend.
44:19Who claims
44:22that she's a witch, okay?
44:24I mean, you don't meet a lot of witches
44:25nowadays.
44:27Occasionally, you run into a few.
44:29Now, when you see a witch,
44:33you say hi to them.
44:35Right? And one day, I knocked on her
44:36door.
44:37I was wondering if she's home.
44:39And I walked in,
44:40and she's [ __ ] a jaguar.
44:43She's in bed with a jaguar.
44:47Oh, Jesus. Having sex with a jaguar.
44:51And I was like,
44:53I don't know what to do. I I I I I I
44:55So, I whipped out a piece of paper from
44:57my back pocket
44:58that says,
45:01"I wish our friendship would end today."
45:05And I signed my name on the paper, and I
45:07gave it to her, and she signed it. OKAY.
45:08OKAY. GOOD.
45:16OKAY, SO LET'S DO ANOTHER. IN FACT, I'LL
45:18GO this time
45:20just to see if I'm what if I could do
45:21this. So, let's do um
45:24Okay, so three words. You You three guys
45:27up here, you got your words?
45:29Any word Yeah, go. Cats. Toilet. Lights.
45:33Cat, toilet, light. And I am going to go
45:36from sharp to mocking. Actually, let's
45:41do sharp Let's do Let's do mocking to
45:44furious.
45:45Okay, cat toilet light, mocking to
45:47furious, and I'll do quiet to loud.
45:50Okay, damn, this is a lot to juggle.
45:52Wow, this is more difficult than it than
45:53it seems. So, okay. So, what do I do?
45:55Mocking to furious, cat toilet light,
45:57right? Okay. Mocking to furious.
46:01Cat toilet light.
46:03Okay.
46:05I was at my house the other day
46:07and I saw this cat
46:09and it's my cat. I don't like the cat
46:11very much. It's a bastard. It's ugly,
46:14stupid.
46:16And you know,
46:18the other day I saw the cat.
46:20I walked in the bathroom and it was
46:22actually drinking out of the toilet.
46:26And I was like, what the hell is this?
46:30WHY IS THIS CAT DRINKING OUT OF THE
46:33TOILET?
46:34WHY IS THIS CAT DRINKING OUT OF THE
46:36TOILET? SO I WENT AND I GOT A LIGHT AND
46:39I SHINED IT ON THE DAMN CAT AND I SAID,
46:41"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
46:44OKAY.
46:45THAT'S
46:50UH IT'S A LOT IT'S A LOT OF COGNITIVE
46:52work to juggle all those, right? So so
46:54it yeah, so I go, "Wow, now I know." So
46:55okay, so let's do let's do one more and
46:58let's do you let's do uh Alejandro
47:01and then and then uh Nick, was your name
47:03correct?
47:04Yeah. And then the glasses fellow next
47:06next to you. So you three guys get your
47:08um
47:09your words prepared.
47:10Got them? One? Casanova. Casanova.
47:14Charismatic. Charismatic. NASCAR.
47:16NASCAR. Okay.
47:18Casanova charismatic NASCAR
47:21and we're going to go from
47:25Okay, and we're going
47:26and we're going to go from let's see
47:28let's let's do annoyed
47:30annoyed
47:32to peaceful.
47:34Annoyed to peaceful, Casanova
47:38charismatic NASCAR
47:40annoyed to peaceful and then we're going
47:42to do in terms of the verbal the verbal
47:44progress or vocal process change, we're
47:47going to do
47:49low
47:50low pitched to high pitched. Ooh, this
47:52is good.
47:53Yes.
47:54And terrible. So do we got it?
47:56Charismatic Wait, Casanova charismatic
47:58NASCAR, annoyed to peaceful, low to
48:01high.
48:07Okay.
48:15The [ __ ] thing, man.
48:17So, here in San Francisco, there's this
48:19bar called Casanova, right?
48:22Do I need a mic?
48:23Ryan, can you hear me in the back?
48:26Yeah, yeah.
48:29And
48:34it looks like it's a cool place.
48:36It looks like it should be fun to go.
48:41There's a payphone on the wall, why? Why
48:43use the payphone?
48:46There's a bartender.
48:49He was cool, gave me water. Seemed like
48:51a charismatic dude.
48:53But then again, I don't know what a
48:55normal bartender is supposed to be. Who
48:56knows?
48:59Then
49:00something that I really started noticing
49:03was that there was this couch next to a
49:04fireplace, and this fireplace
49:09it doesn't work.
49:11At all.
49:13Where is it supposed to end this thing?
49:14NASCAR. Somehow you got to take this to
49:16NASCAR.
49:18To NASCAR.
49:19NASCAR and peaceful. NASCAR.
49:23I got bored at one point during the
49:25and then
49:26somebody I was talking to they're like,
49:27"Hey, you like NASCAR?" And I was like,
49:30"Not really."
49:32ALL RIGHT.
49:39ALL RIGHT, THANKS GUYS. THANKS FOR
49:41HELPING. GIVE THEM A HAND. Give them a
49:43hand.
49:44GOD BLESS.
49:49SO, YEAH, THAT'S ACTUALLY LIKE WHY AM I
49:51HAVING THIS? SO, that's actually like a
49:53very advanced
49:55exercise from kind of the end. And we do
49:57a lot of other different ones where
49:59other people are coming in and trying to
50:00interfere with you. Again, it gets very
50:03practical. Like it starts out very
50:06It starts out very um
50:07functional just to expand the capacity
50:10of the projective modes. But then again,
50:11we're we're working all of those
50:13different modes. We're We're working the
50:15vocal, we're working the facial, we're
50:16working the gestural, we're working the
50:18intellect, we're working the emotional
50:20process. We're opening up to intuition.
50:22And then we're actually practicing it.
50:25Skills that you would actually use in
50:26interaction, right? Imaginative
50:28capacity, stylistic capacities, changes
50:32in process, monitoring different things
50:34that are happening around you at the
50:35same time
50:37as you interact with people, moving the
50:38plot forward, understanding how to
50:40juggle that, how to sort of find the
50:42plot development implicit in the vibe,
50:45and finding the vibe implicit in the
50:46plot development, right? Cuz a lot of
50:48this stuff, it's Look, so much of the
50:51social interaction stuff has us confront
50:55a variety of so-called what appear to be
50:57opposites,
50:58right? There's direct versus indirect.
51:00There's repose versus energy.
51:03There's again, the vibe versus the plot
51:05development. There's like aggression
51:08versus hanging back, etc. etc. But one
51:10thing to understand and and there's so
51:11so many of these. But one thing to
51:13understand
51:14is if you have a spectrum
51:17of apparent opposites, the greatest
51:19vitality at any point along that
51:22spectrum is through kind of the
51:23synthesis of the two ends,
51:26right? So, a big part of all this is
51:28starting to get away from so-called
51:29black and white thinking and and this
51:30emphasis on dualism.
51:32And really starting to see
51:35the the the nuanced gray areas that are
51:38involved in this. Cuz look, some people,
51:40like let's say for example, the old, you
51:42know, direct indirect question,
51:44right? Some people seem to navigate this
51:48issue with a minimum of intellectual
51:50effort, with a minimum of any effort
51:52whatsoever. They seem to know exactly
51:54when to move things forward. They seem
51:56to know exactly when to be a bit more
51:58aloof and chilled back. And sometimes
52:00that can change from moment to moment to
52:02moment to moment. So, again, it's
52:04starting to open yourself up to this
52:05idea of just again, fields of choice
52:08potential at any moment the right choice
52:10can be at any point along that. And and
52:12just kind of starting to understand your
52:14own capacities and be able to bring
52:18those to bear
52:19on whatever demands of whatever
52:22particular social interaction that
52:23you're engaged with. Whether it's again,
52:24it's negotiation, sales, meeting
52:27someone,
52:29you know, navigating some sort of
52:32hostility with your neighbor or
52:34something. Again,
52:36understanding and like first of all,
52:39releasing these tensions and then
52:40developing these skills,
52:43it'll enhance pretty much every social
52:45interaction you'll ever have. Yeah, I
52:46can see that. One of the most
52:48frustrating things is that as we
52:50progressed,
52:51and I know Jeff has felt this too,
52:53people will come to us
52:54and they'll say, "Oh, I'm not an
52:55extrovert like you."
52:57Or I'm not a public speaker like you. Or
53:00I don't have charisma like you. And
53:02people who I work with or people who I
53:04interact with will say things like this.
53:06And it to me that's like if I walk into
53:08if I bring you to my house and the room
53:10is messy,
53:11and then you walk in and I say, "Oh,
53:13well, I'm not one of those clean room
53:15people like you." You know, right? If I
53:17have a bunch of cavities in my teeth and
53:19I say, "Oh, I'm not one of those
53:21non-cavity people like you." Or I'm not
53:24one of those rich people like you. It'd
53:27be like I have a kind of pop belly right
53:28now. Imagine if I'm like, "Oh, I'm not
53:29one of those people with abs like you."
53:32And it there's it's it's funny because
53:35earlier in our careers with this, people
53:37could really see the gap that we were
53:39kind of learning it ourselves, but now
53:41that we're both in our 40s, we've got to
53:42internalize the point that now people
53:44think that it's just something we always
53:45had. They don't get it that this was
53:48something that was worked on, which in
53:49some ways is a compliment, right? So,
53:51for me and Jeff, that's the biggest
53:52compliment that we can get is that they
53:54think it's something that we're born
53:55with. But, in reality, it's also
53:57completely delusional. This is a process
54:00that you can learn. And for us, it
54:02became a priority because we understood
54:04that our quality of life was going to be
54:05a lot lower if we didn't have this down.
54:08We understood that life was very bad
54:10when you're just working, working,
54:11working all the time, and it's just
54:13constantly treading water, but not
54:15understanding how to come across. And
54:17the big thing to understand, like we
54:18said, is that in life, there's a reason
54:20why people will pay a ton for a Rolex
54:23watch that really you could argue it's
54:25no better than Timex.
54:27I mean, functionally speaking, if you're
54:29stuck in the middle of nowhere, what
54:31would you rather have? You're stuck out
54:32there for 6 months.
54:33The Indiglo Timex,
54:35where it has like a chronometer in it
54:37and a timer and all that kind of stuff,
54:38or do you want the Rolex that could you
54:40know, that probably could break, has all
54:41these expensive components in it? I
54:43mean, maybe if you could melt it down
54:44and make a spear with it, I don't know.
54:46But, generally speaking, people will pay
54:49$30,000 for the exact same thing because
54:51it's associated to status. So, like we
54:54said, the major thing that you can use
54:56to create leverage when you're learning
54:58is your personality. That's something
55:01where you can have nothing going for you
55:03at all, and you can start spitting
55:05results. And then what you want to do is
55:07you want to leverage this and not just
55:08use it as something to have a bit of
55:11personality and that that's it, but you
55:13want to leverage it for things. So, you
55:14want to start asking yourself right now,
55:16what can I use to leverage this for? You
55:19know, in a city like San Francisco or
55:21Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Vegas, you
55:24can use it to leverage yourself into the
55:25best parties, best networking events,
55:27best dating opportunities, getting into
55:29better jobs, and so on and so forth. In
55:31smaller towns, there'll be all sorts of
55:32other applications as well. Maybe you're
55:34using it for pragmatic things. If you're
55:36from a really small town, maybe you you
55:37know, you use it to negotiate a better
55:39tractor or something like that, right?
55:40Just depends what it is that you're
55:41doing. But either way, you want to have
55:43this down. I'd ask you to really take a
55:45pause and think about every situation in
55:47your life right now where you're not
55:49projecting yourself properly. Think
55:51about every single situation in your
55:52life right now where you're not
55:53connecting or you're being ignored.
55:56People aren't paying attention to you.
55:57People aren't taking you seriously.
55:58People don't value your presence. People
56:01are not feeling an urgency for you to be
56:02around. When you're coming to the group
56:04of friends that you have, are they
56:05saying, "Oh, so-and-so's coming." if
56:07it's you, or are they kind of
56:09indifferent? And if they are excited,
56:11how excited are they? And so on and so
56:13forth. Do you know, do the people who
56:14you meet out, are they excited to spend
56:16more time with you or are they not? And
56:17then I'd ask yourself to think about
56:19what this I'd ask you to think about
56:20what this is costing you. And really
56:22what you want to do is you've got to
56:23you've got to you've got to live your
56:24life in a way where you're optimizing
56:26different opportunities, okay, in order
56:28to play the game of life properly. And
56:30so what winds up happening
56:32is that if you neglect a core area,
56:34you're going to reap you're going to
56:35reap what you sow, right? You're going
56:36to have the consequences of that. And so
56:38the pain of this can get very, very bad.
56:40It can be embarrassing. It can be
56:41frustrating. You're putting a lot of
56:43work into something, you're not getting
56:44an ROI on it, and so on and so forth.
56:46Also, I'd ask you to consider, even when
56:48you're going to raise your children,
56:50what kind of personality are your
56:51children going to have when they're
56:52watching you doing this? What kind of
56:54leader are you? What kind of vibe are
56:56you creating around your friends? And
56:58how good could your life be when you
57:00take the time to cultivate this versus
57:02how bad can your life be and frustrating
57:04can it be when you don't.
57:11THANK YOU, GUYS.
57:16COULD YOU HOLD THE ENERGY OF A
57:18500-person crowd without a microphone?
57:21Can you walk into any environment and be
57:23that wizard in the environment where
57:25people want your attention? Are you that
57:26person who can connect quickly and
57:28people want to get to know you better
57:29and follow up with you? We're going to
57:31show you the exact skills of charisma.
57:33I'm really really pumped for you. Get
57:36ready. I'll see you inside Charisma
57:37Mastery. Yo, Jeffy here. Let me ask you
57:40a question.
57:41How do you want your story to go?
57:43Do you want to live an extraordinary
57:45life? A life of fulfillment, a life of
57:48accomplishment, a life of joy with
57:51people that you actually care about
57:53to give you a process to open and
57:56sustain charismatic expression with
57:58increasing consistency. Remove the
58:00obstacles, isolate the skills, and put
58:03it all together
58:04because if you struggle with meeting
58:05people
58:06socially, how to speak to all of the
58:07issues surrounding this inner
58:10relationship between intuitive and
58:12intellectual resources
58:14is arguably the most fundamental
58:15challenge facing anyone who's attempting
58:17to improve their communication skills.
58:19Because connecting with people
58:21that leads to getting the promotion,
58:23getting the partner of your dreams,
58:25getting the social life that very few
58:27people enjoy, and ultimately getting
58:29that feeling that you belong.
58:32Well, for over 17 years, I've been
58:35helping people just like you. You see,
58:37most people suffer from the same social
58:39issues. They don't feel like they can
58:41just be themselves. They feel judged.
58:43They feel uncomfortable. Like they got
58:46to walk on eggshells so they don't say
58:48the wrong thing, offend someone, or
58:52maybe ruin a relationship by expressing
58:55themselves fully. That good old
58:57aphorism, "Just be yourself." or "Just
59:00be confident."
59:02It's a vague abstraction that's really
59:05just brought us more problems than
59:06answers.
59:07So, maybe you don't feel like you know
59:09how to connect, communicate well, or add
59:13value to your peer group. Does this
59:15sound familiar?
59:16These are obstacles that I used to face
59:18a long time ago. But over time, 20 years
59:21to be exact, I systematically learned to
59:24overcome this with the right mindset and
59:27an understanding that charisma is
59:29actually one of the most important
59:30skills you can develop, aka
59:32self-expressiveness.
59:33And why is that? Well, people like and
59:37want to be around people who are easy to
59:39connect with. Do you know how and why
59:42people open up more easily around
59:44others?
59:45The answer is value. The value someone
59:47gets when they interact with you that
59:49makes them want to continue to connect
59:51with you. And when I say value, I don't
59:53mean a financial gain or any material
59:56gain at all. It's a feel-good gain. A
59:59gain that naturally comes from
1:00:01charismatic people that literally
1:00:02everyone wants to be around. And it's
1:00:04the number one social issue I see every
1:00:06day. The key is to project the kind of
1:00:09life you want out into the world.
1:00:12I've helped thousands of people overcome
1:00:14all obstacles that are stopping them
1:00:16from generating that feel-good gain for
1:00:18others. How? By fully expressing who
1:00:21they truly are. And that is what you
1:00:23call charisma.
1:00:25Now, you might say, "But I'm not a
1:00:28charismatic person, Jeff." You might
1:00:30think, you know, "I wasn't born with
1:00:32that it factor." Well, I used to feel
1:00:34the same way.
1:00:35And I made it my life's mission to
1:00:38actually figure this out. And after
1:00:41almost two decades of successfully and
1:00:43systematically coaching this, I've seen
1:00:45it with my own eyes. You don't have to
1:00:47wait to learn the exact mindset that my
1:00:50students and myself use to live
1:00:52unapologetically
1:00:53100% me 100% of the time. And attract
1:00:57and keep the people you want to be
1:00:59around the most.
1:01:01I dig deep, identify the exact issues
1:01:04that are stopping you from succeeding,
1:01:06and I help you to map out ways to
1:01:08accomplish your social goals, removing
1:01:10all the mental blocks, exponentially
1:01:12accelerating your growth. And how do we
1:01:14do this? By combining the lessons with
1:01:16personal feedback, I will help you to be
1:01:19the kind of person you're meant to be.
1:01:21And that's the secret sauce to it all.
1:01:23Having someone in your corner who's been
1:01:25there, who's gone through that. Somebody
1:01:27who knows what they're talking about.
1:01:29And most importantly, who cares about
1:01:30you and your results. And let me assure
1:01:33you,
1:01:34you don't get through 17 years of
1:01:36coaching this stuff by not caring about
1:01:38your clients.
1:01:39And that's why so many of my students
1:01:40see massive results.
1:01:42Maybe that's connecting with someone you
1:01:44like. Maybe that's learning to be
1:01:45yourself. So, if you dream of creating
1:01:48your own life on your own terms, and you
1:01:50struggle in social settings due to a
1:01:52lack of confidence, if you don't know
1:01:54how to build strong relationships,
1:01:56if you often feel alone, like you don't
1:01:58have real friends, or you don't know how
1:01:59to connect, you don't have to feel like
1:02:02you don't belong in a room, like you're
1:02:04not a valuable part of any social
1:02:07circle, because this is a learnable
1:02:10skill.
1:02:11If you've ever learned a new language,
1:02:12or know somebody who has, or if you've
1:02:15ever seen how artists learn to improve
1:02:16their stage presence and their
1:02:17performance over time, then you've seen
1:02:20proof that becoming charismatic is a
1:02:22learnable and coachable skill. As long
1:02:24as you're willing to put in the work,
1:02:25you can learn this. There's no magic
1:02:28wand, there's no silver bullet, but I
1:02:30will hold you accountable for a whole 6
1:02:32months to train you up like an artistic
1:02:35coach would, and get you those results.
1:02:38But you have to do the work. This is
1:02:40your life we're talking about here. No
1:02:42one else is going to put the effort in
1:02:43for you. I'll guide you every step of
1:02:45the way, but you need to put in the
1:02:46work. You can learn how to be the most
1:02:49charismatic person in any room. You
1:02:51know, that person that everyone wants to
1:02:53talk to, or everyone wants to be friends
1:02:54with. You can learn to project that
1:02:57feel-good gain they all want to be
1:02:59around.
1:03:00Strong and successful connections start
1:03:03with charisma. And that's why I've
1:03:04developed this program called charisma
1:03:06mastery to help you learn faster to be
1:03:08expressive, so you're you.
1:03:11Now, this is a system that I've
1:03:13developed over the last 17 years of life
1:03:15coaching.
1:03:16I used to teach strangers how to connect
1:03:17with each other. I don't lie about that.
1:03:19But Charisma Mastery isn't just about
1:03:22connecting with people you're
1:03:23romantically interested in. It's about
1:03:25building a better you. And once you
1:03:27complete this course, you'll be a new, a
1:03:30best version of yourself. You'll become
1:03:32the person you were meant to be. The
1:03:34person everyone wants to be around.
1:03:37Free from concern. Free from judgement
1:03:39from yourself and others.
1:03:41Now, if you're just starting out on your
1:03:43personal growth journey, and maybe you
1:03:46feel a little bit lost, like you don't
1:03:48know what to do next, then this is for
1:03:50you.
1:03:51It all starts with the four big issues
1:03:53that people have. And the biggest of
1:03:55these is self-judgement. In other words,
1:03:58how you talk to yourself.
1:03:59So, maybe you judge yourself. Or you're
1:04:02constantly thinking about other people
1:04:04judging you. If you give power to others
1:04:07by making them the issue, it's virtually
1:04:10impossible to become charismatic, let
1:04:12alone connect with someone. So, once you
1:04:14understand why and how talking to
1:04:16yourself the right way is so important,
1:04:19then you can move on to break out of
1:04:20your shell.
1:04:21And even if you tried in the past, this
1:04:24will be different because I'll walk you
1:04:26through my systematic approach to bring
1:04:29out your true self. So, you can just
1:04:30live as you, without the social
1:04:31pressures, without the anxiety out there
1:04:34in the real world.
1:04:36So next, once you talk to yourself the
1:04:38right way, you need the tools to help
1:04:40you put what's on the inside outside.
1:04:43And we excel at this. Through a number
1:04:45of at home and then outside the home
1:04:47dynamics and personal feedback for six
1:04:50whole months, we help you to nail these
1:04:52until you've come out the other end a
1:04:54free, fully expressive version of
1:04:56yourself. And once you've achieved that
1:04:58high level of charisma, we help you
1:05:00implement those results in your life, in
1:05:03your social circle, in your family, in
1:05:05your professional life. And finally,
1:05:06there's the fourth step, which is
1:05:08helping you keep these results for good.
1:05:10So again, fix your internals, put what's
1:05:13on the inside outside,
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