Trump LASER Focused on Midterm Election, Blabbers About the Reflecting Pool & Mar-a-Lago Halloween — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:01So, thanks for watching. Thank you for
2. 0:04joining us.
3. 0:06I'm glad you're in a
4. 0:09a positive mood. We are at
5. 0:13That's very nice.
6. 0:15Okay, that's enough.
7. 0:18This is
8. 0:20Thank you for joining us at the
9. 0:22beginning of what is sure to be a big
10. 0:24week for the United States of America.
11. 0:26And I wish I had better news to start it
12. 0:28with, but I might as well get this out
13. 0:29of the way. We learned yesterday, I
14. 0:32believe, or at least I learned it
15. 0:33yesterday. Sadly, America's sweethearts
16. 0:35are no more. 74y old Bill Bich, former
17. 0:39coach of the New England Patriots, and
18. 0:41his 25-year-old galpal Jordan Hudson
19. 0:45are no longer coupled. I know. I
20. 0:49You know what? Let's take a moment for
21. 0:51prayer or silent reflection to think
22. 0:53about
23. 0:54the good times. You can see uh here they
24. 0:57are when
25. 0:59Oh wow. It's there they are enjoying
26. 1:02each other's bodies on a a surprisingly
27. 1:06crappy beach. I don't know them, but I
28. 1:08think more than anything I was in love
29. 1:10with their love. You know what I mean?
30. 1:11It's apparently some of the friction in
31. 1:13their relationship. I don't know this
32. 1:14for a fact, but I heard it came from the
33. 1:16fact that every time they went out to
34. 1:18dinner, the waiter asked, "Would your
35. 1:19grandpa like to hear about the soup?"
36. 1:24So sad. I don't know. It's I hate to see
37. 1:27that happen. You know,
38. 1:30maybe she'll be our next press
39. 1:32secretary.
40. 1:34The president could use one right now.
41. 1:35You remember that birthday card Trump
42. 1:37didn't draw for Jeffrey Epstein on his
43. 1:3950th birthday? This one? Well, Trump
44. 1:41sued the Wall Street Journal for $10
45. 1:43billion for claiming he did draw that
46. 1:46card. On Saturday, a federal judge
47. 1:49dismissed that suit and praised the
48. 1:51paper for its reporting. That's how
49. 1:53crazy this guy is. with the lawsuit.
50. 2:00He's filed so many lawsuits, judges now
51. 2:02have to rule on Saturdays.
52. 2:05He's got a hefty bag full of frivolous
53. 2:07lawsuits out there trying to protect
54. 2:09himself against the blue wave which
55. 2:11seems to be headed his way tomorrow.
56. 2:12Tomorrow is midterm election day. That's
57. 2:16right.
58. 2:17Hopefully, you're registered to vote.
59. 2:19Hopefully, you will vote by this time
60. 2:21tomorrow night. We should know nothing.
61. 2:23probably they say it could take days or
62. 2:25even weeks to get the results. If the
63. 2:27pollsters are to be believed,
64. 2:29Republicans are in trouble and not just
65. 2:31on paper. This rally for Ken Paxton,
66. 2:33who's running for Senate in Texas, this
67. 2:36should tell you all you need to know
68. 2:37about how things are going for them
69. 2:38right now.
70. 2:39>> I have a challenge for you. I want
71. 2:41everybody stand up. You're able to stand
72. 2:44up.
73. 2:46If you have invited five people to go to
74. 2:50the polls, sit down.
75. 2:53Just five.
76. 2:57If you have Oh, wait. Let's do it the
77. 2:58other way. Stand back up. If you invited
78. 3:02at least five people, stand up. If you
79. 3:05have invited at least 10 people, stay
80. 3:08standing.
81. 3:11If you have invited at least 20 people,
82. 3:13stay standing.
83. 3:17All right.
84. 3:19Oh, come on. It's Listen,
85. 3:24listen ladies. If any of those people
86. 3:26had 20 friends to invite to vote, they
87. 3:28wouldn't be at a Ken Paxton rally. More
88. 3:31than 57 million Americans have already
89. 3:33cast their ballots. Trump made his
90. 3:35closing argument today.
91. 3:39He chose to do that in front of his ill-
92. 3:41fated reflecting pool. And where better
93. 3:43to reassure the public that they are in
94. 3:45good hands than in front of a pool
95. 3:46you've repeatedly botched to the tune of
96. 3:48$16 million. Donald Trump, the man who
97. 3:51famously promised to drain the swamp,
98. 3:53made his last stand at the sight of his
99. 3:56own man-made swamp, standing
100. 3:58victoriously in front of this hard one
101. 4:00pond like the soldiers who triumphed at
102. 4:03Eoima.
103. 4:04>> This has been this is a massive piece of
104. 4:07uh piece of pool. There's never been
105. 4:11anything like when you look at the side,
106. 4:14>> right? It is. It is indeed a massive
107. 4:17piece of pool when you look at the sign.
108. 4:21I don't know. Maybe they'll give him the
109. 4:22Nobel Piece of pool prize. It's
110. 4:25He spoke for um about an hour
111. 4:30in front of the the Lincoln reflecting
112. 4:33pool. Many are calling it his Pettisburg
113. 4:35address. He blamed Joe Biden and Obama
114. 4:38for everything that happened to the pool
115. 4:40before he was there. He said he's giving
116. 4:42serious thought to renaming the pool
117. 4:44after himself, which that's a nice idea.
118. 4:46He ranted about Bermuda grass and top
119. 4:49soil and his construction projects and
120. 4:52the ballroom, James Comey, rusty pipes.
121. 4:54He had visual aids, and then he stripped
122. 4:57down to his diapers and did a pretty
123. 4:58impressive cannonball right in the
124. 5:00shallow end of the thing. Somehow, the
125. 5:03Energizer dummy managed to blabber his
126. 5:05way through 30 rallies over the past 32
127. 5:08days. And with the campaign for control
128. 5:10of Congress at the 2y line, Trump is
129. 5:13laser focused on the issues that matter
130. 5:15most.
131. 5:16>> They attacked a place called Mara Lago.
132. 5:19Nobody brought it up. And you know, I'm
133. 5:21sitting I'm watching. They're good
134. 5:22people. And is that a helicopter? Oh,
135. 5:26you
136. 5:28do you want to see a nice helicopter?
137. 5:31How do you like the helipad?
138. 5:34>> See, that's that's landing right now.
139. 5:36I'm going to have a helicopter.
140. 5:39Are
141. 5:43are we 100% sure he isn't a
142. 5:45four-year-old in a fat suit? That is
143. 5:48what my nephew is into. Helicopters and
144. 5:50garbage trucks. Trump was in both
145. 5:53Florida and Iowa over the weekend using
146. 5:55his gift for oration and storytelling to
147. 5:58do battle against the Democrats.
148. 6:00>> What's going to happen if the Democrats
149. 6:02or as I call them now Democrats? They
150. 6:04are dumb people. You know why? because
151. 6:06their their policies are dumb. You
152. 6:09simply replace the E with a U and nobody
153. 6:14knows they're dumb as a B.
154. 6:17You know what?
155. 6:19He's a terrible president, but as a
156. 6:21comedian, I have to respect his
157. 6:22commitment to that bit. It's it's he's
158. 6:25he's
159. 6:28sticking with it. I respect his
160. 6:31commitment to that bit and to this one,
161. 6:33too.
162. 6:33>> Think of it. Your beautiful
163. 6:36son leaves the house. His name is Tim.
164. 6:40Goodbye, Tim. I'll see you. Thank you,
165. 6:42Mommy. Thank you. And you don't see Tim
166. 6:44for four days. Four days later, Tim
167. 6:48comes back as Sally.
168. 6:52Four days. That's how long it takes.
169. 6:54It's a four day. It's one day to do the
170. 6:56operation, three days to legally change
171. 6:59the name. Now, if they change it, if
172. 7:00it's an easy change from like Sully to
173. 7:02Sally, that only takes a day. You start
174. 7:06with Tim, it's 4 days. Say what you like
175. 7:08about the man. He really has a way with
176. 7:10names. I have a lot of flag polls. I
177. 7:12have them all over my place. But I have
178. 7:14a guy, I call him flag pole gym. His
179. 7:19whole life, that's all he does. Believe
180. 7:23me, when you order a flag pole, there
181. 7:25are good flag polls and there are bad
182. 7:28flag polls. There are ugly flag poles.
183. 7:30You know, flag pole gym, if you ask him
184. 7:32to cross the street, please. He couldn't
185. 7:34do that. But for flag polls, he's great.
186. 7:36I Everybody loves it. Who the hell's not
187. 7:38going to like a flag pole?
188. 7:41I I say I
189. 7:45I would I would bet $40,000 Flagpole
190. 7:50Jim's name isn't even Jim.
191. 7:53Flagpole Jim. He can't even cross the
192. 7:55street. He's an idiot.
193. 7:57But he's magic with a flag pole. They
194. 8:00sent flag pole Jim to school. Four days
195. 8:02later, he came back flag pole Jennifer.
196. 8:04It's a disgrace.
197. 8:07Now, one of the
198. 8:10one of the races Republicans are most
199. 8:13worried about is in Kansas, a state that
200. 8:15could very well send their first
201. 8:17Democrat to the Senate since 1932.
202. 8:20And so, Trump posted this over the
203. 8:23weekend. He wrote, "I've just been
204. 8:24informed by the great attorney general
205. 8:26of Kansas that a radical left pack
206. 8:28operative was caught on camera going
207. 8:30doortodoor in Witchah offering gift
208. 8:32cards to people for votes. We have
209. 8:34photographic evidence this is a criminal
210. 8:37offense." Which is interesting because
211. 8:39if that is true, I would like to report
212. 8:41another criminal offense.
213. 8:43>> So if the Republicans win, you will each
214. 8:45have $5,000 in your pocket.
215. 8:51Now,
216. 8:53of course,
217. 8:55the key difference between the $5,000
218. 8:57check and the gift cards is the gift
219. 8:59cards are real. They will actually get
220. 9:01the gift card. And by the way, as long
221. 9:02as you're looking into gift cards, the
222. 9:04wife of Michigan Senate hopeful Mike
223. 9:06Rogers might have some explaining to do.
224. 9:09>> You should me
225. 9:12$10 gift cards.
226. 9:13>> Well, I'm sure the DOJ will be digging
227. 9:16into that one bigly. That this is what
228. 9:18it's come to. Remember at school there'd
229. 9:19be a kid running for class president
230. 9:21who'd promise like no homework and that
231. 9:24the water fountain would be filled with
232. 9:25chocolate milk.
233. 9:27How is that different from this?
234. 9:29>> I'm going to give all adult citizens in
235. 9:32the United States of America $5,000.
236. 9:36>> Sorry kids. Enjoy those little packs of
237. 9:38Skittles you got on Halloween. The five
238. 9:40grand is for adult citizens only.
239. 9:43You know, last week Trump, you probably
240. 9:45know, went after a reporter who asked a
241. 9:47question he didn't like. He told him to
242. 9:49put himself in shape and that he looked
243. 9:51like hell. It was embarrassing. It was
244. 9:53an ugly moment. And you would think he'd
245. 9:55want to move past that, especially given
246. 9:57his own body type, but you would be
247. 10:00incorrect to think that. Instead, he
248. 10:02went on his dumb website and he did it
249. 10:04again. He wrote, "Ruters, one of the
250. 10:06worst reporter. Put yourself in shape.
251. 10:08You look like hell."
252. 10:10Okay, first of all, no one says, "Put
253. 10:13yourself in shape." Okay, it's that's
254. 10:16not that sounds like something Melania
255. 10:18yells at him when he eats French fries.
256. 10:23PUT YOURSELF IN SHAPE. And also,
257. 10:27that person you're looking at right
258. 10:29there should not be telling anyone else
259. 10:32to put themselves in shape. I think
260. 10:34maybe I mean there's so many craziest
261. 10:36things about I think maybe the craziest
262. 10:38thing about Donald Trump is he thinks
263. 10:40he's hot. He does. Our uh pumpkin spice
264. 10:44ways a latte president hosted a lavish
265. 10:47Halloween party at Mara Lago on Saturday
266. 10:49night. Everyone invited was rich, but
267. 10:51only one person was not in costume.
268. 10:54>> These people spend a lot of time and
269. 10:56money. Rich people, they'll spend nine
270. 10:59hours getting ready. I had 10 minutes.
271. 11:02So, I came as Donald Trump tonight.
272. 11:05>> And the truth is, it's a good pro. It
273. 11:07makes sense that the president wouldn't
274. 11:08dress up for Halloween, but how good
275. 11:10would it have been if he'd shown up in
276. 11:12the most incredible like Deadpool
277. 11:13costume you've ever seen?
278. 11:16Another missed opportunity. Now, the
279. 11:18theme of the party was the jungle. And
280. 11:20to make it realistic, they brought in a
281. 11:23zebra
282. 11:25and a pony.
283. 11:28Cuz you know the jungle is it's crawling
284. 11:30with zebras and ponies. It's it's a
285. 11:34jungle pony. It's not a regular pony.
286. 11:36It's a special What a party this was,
287. 11:39man. It was like eyes wide shut for
288. 11:43people you'd have to keep your eyes shut
289. 11:44to have sex with. It's Look at this
290. 11:46group. Everyone's dressed as
291. 11:48osteoporosis.
292. 11:50It's the compression sock capital of the
293. 11:53world. Melania went uh dressed as the
294. 11:56invisible woman. She didn't show up. Her
295. 11:59prenup does not require non- campaign
296. 12:02related Halloween appearances. JD Vance
297. 12:04didn't go to the party. He was at home
298. 12:06in Washington. His family had a Harry
299. 12:08Potter theme and you can see he dressed
300. 12:11as Dumbledor. It's he got a lot of flack
301. 12:15online for this because Dumbledore is
302. 12:17gay and that's not allowed in MAGA Land.
303. 12:20So afterwards, JD released a statement
304. 12:22clarifying that the only boys he's into
305. 12:25are lazy boys and
306. 12:29It's
307. 12:33you get it right, GMO.
308. 12:36GMO, explain to those who haven't been
309. 12:38following along.
310. 12:39>> No, no, go ahead. You keep going.
311. 12:43You know, it's always fun to see which
312. 12:47which um
313. 12:52I love seeing which famous people get
314. 12:54hammered for their costumes the day
315. 12:56after. Martha Stewart, for whatever
316. 12:58reason, dressed like a homeless person.
317. 13:01I am hungry. Help me. That's how bad
318. 13:03Trump's economy is. Even Martha Stewart
319. 13:06is homeless. The costume was actually
320. 13:08only the second most ridiculous part of
321. 13:10the post. Um, zoom in on the caption. It
322. 13:12says, "My QVC candles are perfect for
323. 13:14Halloween." Now, how does this happen?
324. 13:17How does this woman wind up in that
325. 13:19costume being photographed and posted?
326. 13:22This is how you know your assistant
327. 13:23hates you. Martha then claimed she was
328. 13:26trying to raise awareness of
329. 13:27homelessness, which is strike two.
330. 13:30Here's a good general rule of thumb.
331. 13:32Okay, don't use your Halloween costume
332. 13:34to raise awareness of anything other
333. 13:36than Halloween, especially when you
334. 13:37complete the look with a boyfriend
335. 13:39sweater from the row. Okay, yesterday
336. 13:41was one of the uh for me one of the best
337. 13:44days of the year, the end of daylight
338. 13:46saving time. I woke up well before my
339. 13:48alarm clock this morning. I felt like a
340. 13:50Viking. And that other than my
341. 13:52microwave, which can't seem to get its
342. 13:54act together, I barely had to reset any
343. 13:56of my clocks. They all We live in a
344. 13:58digital age, uh, an age in which young
345. 14:00people don't ever have to learn how to
346. 14:02read a clock. And I know it sounds like
347. 14:05old people talking, but it's true. They
348. 14:07don't. And to prove it, we sent a team
349. 14:09out to Hollywood Boulevard to ask
350. 14:11members of generations Y through Z a
351. 14:14simple question. That question is, can
352. 14:16you set a clock?
353. 14:17>> Have you ever seen a clock like this
354. 14:19before?
355. 14:20>> Yeah. Where have you seen it?
356. 14:21>> A clock store.
357. 14:22>> Clock store.
358. 14:24>> What kind of people do you think still
359. 14:26use these clocks?
360. 14:27>> Probably ones are more of a brain. You
361. 14:29know, probably some people that are a
362. 14:31little more capable. Um, you know,
363. 14:35>> what time does this clock say?
364. 14:37>> 12:54.
365. 14:41>> Can you set this clock for me?
366. 14:43>> I'm not going to lie, I'm not good with
367. 14:45my time table.
368. 14:46>> Okay. With your time table? That
369. 14:48shouldn't come up.
370. 14:51>> What time does it say right now?
371. 14:52>> Yeah, like now it's like 4:30.
372. 14:54>> That's 4:30.
373. 14:55>> Yeah.
374. 14:56>> Well, how did you get there?
375. 14:58>> I got there cuz I looked at the three
376. 14:59and the 10.
377. 15:00>> Okay.
378. 15:00>> And like I figured cuz if you put the
379. 15:02three over here, if you put this the
380. 15:04small one at the 12, it would make it
381. 15:053:00.
382. 15:06>> Okay. So then you said it was 4
383. 15:09>> 4:30.
384. 15:10>> 4:30. Set it to 353.
385. 15:14>> 3.
386. 15:17>> Great job. Is that AM or PM?
387. 15:20>> Well, yeah, but if Oh,
388. 15:27>> how do you know whether or not this is
389. 15:28AM or PM right now? How do you set it
390. 15:30then from the difference or is it just
391. 15:32going to maybe you just go into the
392. 15:33future from wherever you're at?
393. 15:35>> Oh, I hear ticks though when I do that.
394. 15:39>> Can I ask you a question?
395. 15:40>> Yeah.
396. 15:40>> Are you high?
397. 15:41>> Oh, yes.
398. 15:42>> Can you set this clock for me?
399. 15:44>> Yeah. Can you set it to 1010?
400. 15:49>> It's okay.
401. 15:50>> What are you What are you doing there?
402. 15:51>> 10 10
403. 15:52>> 10?
404. 15:53>> Yeah.
405. 15:54>> No, that's not 1010.
406. 15:56>> It's 1010 for me because I'm French.
407. 16:00>> Do you know how to tell time on one of
408. 16:02those really old looking clocks? The one
409. 16:04that looks like Mickey Mouse. You know,
410. 16:06with the two ears at the top and the
411. 16:08legs at the bottom,
412. 16:10>> right? Yeah. Twin Bell alarm clock.
413. 16:12>> Twin bell alarm clock. This is what it
414. 16:14is.
415. 16:15>> Uh-huh. Right.
416. 16:16>> And what time is it?
417. 16:17>> Okay. Wait, chat. Can you sh Can you
418. 16:19send me a picture of of how to tell time
419. 16:21on this clock? Oh. Oh,
420. 16:25wait a minute. I'm I'm like I'm like
421. 16:28Doctor Strange.
422. 16:31>> And you just set it to 8 16.
423. 16:34>> I don't know how to do this game.
424. 16:37There's no Where does the 16 go? I don't
425. 16:40know how TO SET A CLOCK. I GUESS I
426. 16:41DIDN'T KNOW THAT I DIDN'T KNOW how to
427. 16:42set a clock until now.
428. 16:44>> Can you set it to 420?
429. 16:46>> Yeah, I can do that. Okay.
430. 16:50That's for
431. 16:54Why is he doing that? Does that mean I
432. 16:56GOT IT? YAY! I GOT IT.
433. 17:00OH, maybe they'll forget the We have a
434. 17:03fun one for you tonight. Nobody wants
435. 17:05us. Justine Loop is here. LAWRENCE SMITH
436. 17:07AND BELLA HER WITH the And we'll be
437. 17:10right back with Bill Hater. So stick
438. 17:12around.