Tom Findlay's Letter to Susan Smith Before She Killed Her Kids — Transcript

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1. 0:00dear Susan I hope you don't mind but I
2. 0:03think clear when I am typing so this
3. 0:06letter is being written on my
4. 0:07computer this is a difficult letter for
5. 0:09me to write because I know how much you
6. 0:11think of me and I want you to know that
7. 0:14I am flattered that you have such a high
8. 0:17opinion of me Susan I value our
9. 0:20friendship very much you are one of the
10. 0:22few people on this Earth that I feel I
11. 0:25could tell anything you are intelligent
12. 0:28beautiful sensitive
13. 0:30understanding and possess many other
14. 0:32wonderful qualities that I and many
15. 0:35other men appreciate you will without a
16. 0:38doubt make some lucky man a great wife
17. 0:41but unfortunately it won't be
18. 0:45[Music]
19. 0:56[Music]
20. 0:58me
21. 1:01[Music]
22. 1:15even though you think we have so much in
23. 1:17common we are vastly different we have
24. 1:20been raised in two totally different
25. 1:22environments and therefore think totally
26. 1:25different that's not to say that I was
27. 1:27raised better than you or vice versa it
28. 1:30just means that we come from two
29. 1:31different
30. 1:33backgrounds when I started dating Laura
31. 1:36I knew our backgrounds were going to be
32. 1:38a problem right before I graduated from
33. 1:41Auburn University in 1990 I broke up
34. 1:44with a girl Allison that I had been
35. 1:46dating for over 2 years I loved Allison
36. 1:49very much and we were very
37. 1:52compatible unfortunately we wanted
38. 1:55different things out of life she wanted
39. 1:57to get married and and have children
40. 2:00before the age of 28 and I did not this
41. 2:03conflict spurred our breakup but we have
42. 2:06remained friends through the years after
43. 2:08Allison I was very hurt I decided not to
44. 2:11fall for anyone again until I was ready
45. 2:13to make a long
46. 2:15commitment for for my first two years in
47. 2:18Union I dated very little in fact I
48. 2:21could count the number of dates I had on
49. 2:23one hand but then Laura came along we
50. 2:27met at conso and I felt for her like a
51. 2:29ton of bricks things were great at first
52. 2:33and remained good for a long time but I
53. 2:35knew deep in my heart that she was not
54. 2:38the one for me people tell me that when
55. 2:41you find the person that you would want
56. 2:43to spend the rest of your life with you
57. 2:45will know it well even though I fell in
58. 2:48love with Laura I had my doubts about a
59. 2:50Long and Lasting commitment but I never
60. 2:53said anything and I eventually hurt her
61. 2:56very very deeply I won't do that again
62. 3:00Susan I could really fall for you you
63. 3:02have so many endearing qualities about
64. 3:04you and I think that you are a terrific
65. 3:07person but like I have told you before
66. 3:10there are some things about you that
67. 3:11aren't suited for me and yes I am
68. 3:14speaking about your children I'm sure
69. 3:17that your kids are good
70. 3:19kids but it really wouldn't matter how
71. 3:21good they may be the fact is I just
72. 3:24don't want children these feelings may
73. 3:27change one day but I doubt it with all
74. 3:29of the crazy mixed up things that take
75. 3:32place in this world today I just don't
76. 3:34have the desire to bring another life
77. 3:36into it and I don't want to be
78. 3:38responsible for anyone else's children
79. 3:40either but I am very thankful that there
80. 3:43are people like you who are not so
81. 3:45selfish as I am and don't mind bearing
82. 3:48the responsibility of
83. 3:50children if everyone thought the way
84. 3:52that I do our species would eventually
85. 3:54become extinct but our differences go
86. 3:57far beyond the children issue we are
87. 4:00just two totally different people and
88. 4:02eventually those differences would cause
89. 4:03us to break up because I know myself so
90. 4:06well I am sure of this but don't be
91. 4:08discouraged there is someone out there
92. 4:10for you in fact it's probably someone
93. 4:13that you may not know at this time or
94. 4:16that you may know but would never
95. 4:18expect either way before you settle down
96. 4:21with anyone again there is something you
97. 4:23need to do Susan because you got
98. 4:26pregnant and married at such an early
99. 4:28age you missed out on much of your youth
100. 4:31I mean one minute you were a kid and the
101. 4:33next minute you were having kids because
102. 4:36I come from a place where everyone had
103. 4:38the desire and the money to go to
104. 4:39college having the responsibility as
105. 4:41children at such a young age is beyond
106. 4:44my
107. 4:45comprehension anyhow my advice to you is
108. 4:47to wait and be very choosy about your
109. 4:50next
110. 4:51relationship I can see this may be a bit
111. 4:54difficult for you because you are a bit
112. 4:56boy crazy but as the proverb States good
113. 5:00things come to those who wait I am not
114. 5:02saying you shouldn't go out and have a
115. 5:05good time in fact I think she I think
116. 5:07you should do just that have a good time
117. 5:10and capture some of that youth that you
118. 5:12missed out on but just don't get
119. 5:14seriously involved with anyone until you
120. 5:16have done the things in life that you
121. 5:19want to do first then the rest will fall
122. 5:21in place Susan I am not mad at you about
123. 5:25what happened this weekend actually I am
124. 5:27very thankful as I told you
125. 5:30I was starting to let my heart warm up
126. 5:31to the idea of us going out as more than
127. 5:34just friends but seeing you kiss another
128. 5:37man put things back into
129. 5:40perspective I remembered how I hurt
130. 5:43Laura and I won't let that happen again
131. 5:46and therefore I can't let myself get
132. 5:48close to you we will always be friends
133. 5:51but our relationship will never go
134. 5:52beyond that of
135. 5:54friendship and as for your relationship
136. 5:56with B Brown of course you have to make
137. 5:58your own decision decisions in life but
138. 6:00remember you have to live with the
139. 6:03consequences also everyone is held
140. 6:06accountable for their actions and I
141. 6:08would hate for people to perceive you as
142. 6:10an unreputable person if you want to
143. 6:13catch a nice guy like me one day you
144. 6:15have to act like a nice girl and you
145. 6:18know nice girls don't sleep with married
146. 6:20men besides I want you to feel good
147. 6:22about yourself and I'm and I am afraid
148. 6:25that if you sleep with B Brown or any
149. 6:28other married man for that matter
150. 6:30you will lose your self-respect I know I
151. 6:32did when we were messing around earlier
152. 6:34this year so please think about your
153. 6:37actions before you do anything you will
154. 6:40regret I care for you but also care for
155. 6:43Susan Brown and I would hate to see
156. 6:46anyone get hurt Susan may say that she
157. 6:48wouldn't care husband had had an affair
158. 6:51but you and I know that is not true
159. 6:54anyhow as I have already told you you
160. 6:57are a very special person and don't let
161. 7:00anyone tell you or make you feel any
162. 7:02different I see so much potential in you
163. 7:05but only you can make it happen don't
164. 7:07settle for mediocre in life go for it
165. 7:09all and only settle for the best I do I
166. 7:12hav I haven't told you this but I am
167. 7:15extremely proud of you for going to
168. 7:16school I am a firm believer in higher
169. 7:19education and once you obtain a degree
170. 7:22from college there is not stopping you
171. 7:25and don't let these idiot boys from
172. 7:27Union make you feel like you are not
173. 7:28capable
174. 7:29or slow you down after you graduate you
175. 7:32will be able to go anywhere you want in
176. 7:34this world and if you ever want to get a
177. 7:36good job in Charlotte my father is the
178. 7:38right person to know he and Connie know
179. 7:41everyone who is anyone in the business
180. 7:43World in Charlotte and if I can ever
181. 7:46help you with anything don't hesitate to
182. 7:48ask well this letter must come to an end
183. 7:52it's 11:50 p.m. and I am getting very
184. 7:55sleepy but I wanted to write you this
185. 7:57letter because you are the one who is
186. 7:59always making the effort for me and I
187. 8:02wanted to return to
188. 8:03Friendship I've appreciated it when you
189. 8:06have dropped me nice little notes or
190. 8:07cards or the present at Christmas and
191. 8:11it's about time that I start putting a
192. 8:12little effort into our friendship which
193. 8:15reminds me I thought long or hard about
194. 8:17getting you something for your birthday
195. 8:19but I decided not to because I wasn't
196. 8:22sure what you might think now I am sorry
197. 8:25I didn't get you anything but you can
198. 8:27expect something from me at Christmas
199. 8:30but do not buy me anything for Christmas
200. 8:32all I want from you is a nice sweet card
201. 8:35I'll cherish that more than any store
202. 8:37present again you will always have my
203. 8:39friendship and your friendship is one
204. 8:42that I will always look upon with
205. 8:44sincere affection Tom