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This Ancient Hawaiian Technique Will Make You Unstoppable — Transcript

by David Bayer · 2,981 words · 505 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00In the 1980s, a psychologist named Dr.
0:02Hew Len reportedly began working with a
0:05ward of severely mentally ill patients
0:07at Hawaii State Hospital. But according
0:08to the story, he did something
0:10extraordinary.
0:11>> [music]
0:11>> Rather than treating the patients
0:12directly, he would read their files and
0:14practice a Hawaiian healing method
0:16called Ho'oponopono on himself,
0:19repeating four simple [music] phrases:
0:21Thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, please
0:24forgive me. But there's something about
0:26that that never made sense to me until
0:28recently. Why are you saying I'm sorry,
0:30please forgive me? Who are you asking to
0:32forgive you? And why would changing
0:34something inside of you have any effect
0:36on what's happening outside of you? So
0:38in this episode, I'm going to show you
0:39what Ho'oponopono actually is, how you
0:41can use this practice to release
0:43resentment, transform the beliefs
0:44underneath them, and potentially change
0:46the reality that you're creating. So
0:48let's get into it.
0:53All right, guys. Let's start by clearing
0:54up one of the biggest misconceptions
0:55about Ho'oponopono. If you've
0:57encountered the practice on YouTube or
0:59TikTok or Instagram or somewhere in the
1:01manifestation world, you've probably
1:03been taught that Ho'oponopono is four
1:06phrases: I'm sorry, please forgive me,
1:09thank you, I love you. You think about a
1:12person or a problem, you repeat those
1:13phrases, and supposedly you're cleaning
1:15the energy around the situation. But
1:18that's not actually where Ho'oponopono
1:20began. So the word Ho'oponopono roughly
1:22means to correct or to make right. And
1:26traditionally, this was a Hawaiian
1:27practice of restoring harmony within
1:29families and communities. And this
1:30wasn't necessarily something that you
1:32did sitting alone in your bedroom
1:33repeating four sentences. This was a
1:35relational process. It was something had
1:38happened. For example, there was a
1:39conflict, some kind of rupture in the
1:41family, and then people came together,
1:43often with an elder facilitating the
1:45process. There could be prayer, the
1:47problem was brought into the open,
1:49people acknowledged what they had done,
1:51grievances were discussed, and
1:52eventually, when possible, the conflict
1:54was released and the relationship was
1:55restored.
1:57But I want you to think about how
1:58different that is from the way most of
2:00us deal with resentment. Like, we don't
2:02bring these things into the light.
2:05Instead, we carry them around. We replay
2:07the conversation while we're driving,
2:09arguing for days in our head, feeling
2:11guilty maybe about something we said or
2:13did. And meanwhile,
2:15the event happened 5 years ago, right?
2:16The other person has completely
2:18forgotten about it. But, inside of us,
2:20it's happening over and over and over
2:22again.
2:23Traditional Ho'oponopono recognized
2:24something really profound. Unresolved
2:27conflicts don't simply disappear because
2:30the event is over. Something has to
2:32bring the relationship back into
2:34balance, and that was Ho'oponopono.
2:37But, then something happened to
2:38Ho'oponopono that ultimately led to the
2:40version most people know today. In the
2:4120th century, a Hawaiian healer and
2:43teacher named Morrnah Simeona developed
2:46a modernized form of Ho'oponopono known
2:49as Self-Identity Through Ho'oponopono.
2:52And she made a significant change. The
2:53process no longer required everyone
2:56involved in the conflict to participate.
2:58And think about how important that is.
3:00Because what happens if the person that
3:03hurt you won't talk to you? Or what
3:05happens if they don't think they did
3:07anything wrong? Or what happens if the
3:08person died 20 years ago? Does your
3:11healing now depend upon their
3:12willingness to participate? And
3:13Morrnah's answer was essentially no.
3:16The work could happen within just you.
3:18And eventually, one of the people most
3:20closely associated with this modern form
3:22of Ho'oponopono was a psychologist named
3:24Dr. Hew Len. And Hew Len taught an
3:26extremely radical concept. And this was
3:29called 100% responsibility. Now, I want
3:32to explain what 100% responsibility
3:34means. It does not mean everything
3:36another person does is my fault. It does
3:38not mean if somebody abused me, I caused
3:40the abuse.
3:42Responsibility and culpability are two
3:44completely different things. In other
3:45words, someone else can be entirely
3:47responsible for an action that they
3:48took. But, if their action is now
3:51producing anger, fear, resentment,
3:53shame, or pain inside of you,
3:55there is something happening inside of
3:57your consciousness that you now have an
3:59opportunity to work with.
4:01And the modern Ho'oponopono teaching
4:02goes even further. It suggests that the
4:03problems appearing in our experience are
4:06connected to memories or programs
4:09replaying inside of us. So, rather than
4:12asking how do I resolve this with the
4:13person that has offended me, you begin
4:15asking,
4:16"What is happening inside of me and how
4:18can I allow it to heal or resolve?" And
4:20that question changes everything. And
4:22this brings us back to the question that
4:24I had when I first encountered this
4:25practice. Okay, somebody hurts me
4:29and I'm supposed to say, "I'm sorry,
4:31please forgive me. Thank you. I love
4:33you."
4:34Like, why am I apologizing?
4:37And who am I apologizing to?
4:39And so, within this modern what's called
4:42self-identity approach, the cleaning
4:44process ultimately involves a
4:45relationship between you,
4:48the memories,
4:50and divinity, or whatever the higher
4:53power is of your own identification. So,
4:55you're not necessarily standing in front
4:57of the other person who betrayed you
4:58saying, "I'm sorry you betrayed me.
4:59Please forgive me."
5:01That's not the point. You're turning
5:02inward. You're acknowledging that
5:04something has been activated within my
5:06consciousness. I'm taking responsibility
5:08for what's happening within me, and I'm
5:10petitioning the divine for the memories
5:13or programs associated with it to be
5:15released. Now, I want to draw a really
5:17clear line here. What I'm about to give
5:19you is my interpretation of this
5:21practice through the work that I've been
5:22doing for the last 15 years around
5:24beliefs and consciousness. I'm not
5:25telling you that this is the traditional
5:27Hawaiian definition of each phrase.
5:29Okay, I'm telling you what I think these
5:31four phrases can represent when we
5:33understand them through the frameworks
5:35that I teach. So, let's imagine somebody
5:38says something that really pisses me
5:40off. Right? My first instinct is to
5:43focus entirely on them. Like, how could
5:45you say that? Or they're wrong, or
5:47they're disrespectful, they shouldn't
5:48treat me this way.
5:50But what I've learned to ask is a
5:52different question.
5:54Why did this particular experience
5:56produce such a powerful reaction in me?
5:59Because that's information.
6:01Maybe what they said activated
6:04I'm not being respected, or maybe it
6:06triggered I'm not good enough, or people
6:09don't appreciate me, or I'm being taken
6:11advantage of, or I can't trust people.
6:13Whatever it is, the external event
6:16has just revealed an internal pattern.
6:19Right? It touched an existing wound. It
6:20activated an existing belief. It
6:22revealed something that was already
6:25available to me,
6:27but that I wasn't aware of. And suddenly
6:29the first phrase takes on an entirely
6:30different meaning.
6:32Thank you.
6:33Not thank you for betraying me, not
6:36thank you for abusing me, not thank you
6:38for treating me terribly, but
6:40thank you for revealing something inside
6:42of me that I couldn't see.
6:44Because if I can't see it, I can't
6:45transform it. And now the trigger
6:48becomes information. The problem becomes
6:50an opportunity, and the external world
6:52becomes a mirror. And this is where I
6:54want to take Ho'oponopono a little
6:56further into David Bear world. And
6:58again, I'm distinguishing this from the
6:59historical teaching. Our beliefs create
7:02the lens through which we experience
7:04reality, and most of those beliefs were
7:06formed through experiences that happened
7:08a very long time ago.
7:09Maybe dad left, maybe mom criticized
7:12you, maybe kids bullied you,
7:14and you didn't simply experience what
7:16happened, you decided what it meant. Dad
7:18leaving meant I'm not important. Mom
7:21criticizing you meant I'm not good
7:23enough. Your partner cheating on you
7:24meant I can't trust people.
7:27And now something extraordinary happens.
7:29The event ends,
7:31but the belief continues.
7:33Right? The belief becomes part of the
7:34operating system through which you
7:36interpret everything that happens next.
7:39So, 20 years later, someone does
7:41something relatively minor, suddenly you
7:43experience a disproportionate
7:45emotional reaction. Why? Because you're
7:48not only responding to what happened
7:50today, you're responding to everything
7:52today means because of yesterday.
7:55And that's why I think triggers are so
7:56valuable. A trigger tells you where the
7:59charge still is. And that's where my
8:01interpretation of these four phrases can
8:03be extremely helpful. Thank you.
8:06Thank you for showing me what I couldn't
8:07see. Thank you for revealing the belief.
8:10Thank you for revealing the resentment.
8:11Thank you for showing me where I'm still
8:13carrying the past into the present.
8:16I love you.
8:18I bring love to the part of myself that
8:20developed this belief. I stop judging
8:22it. I stop fighting it. I stop trying to
8:24make it disappear. And perhaps
8:26eventually I can even bring love to the
8:28other person, not because what they did
8:30was okay, but because I no longer
8:32require hatred in order to protect
8:35myself.
8:37I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the
8:38misunderstanding I've continued to
8:40carry. I'm sorry for the ways I've used
8:42this experience as evidence that I'm not
8:43enough, I'm not safe, I'm not loved, or
8:46life isn't supporting me. I'm sorry for
8:48the ways I've unconsciously continued
8:49recreating this pattern.
8:52Please forgive me. I ask for forgiveness
8:54for my participation in keeping this
8:56misunderstanding alive. I release my
8:59attachment to the story. I release my
9:01need to keep proving that it happened. I
9:03release my need for the other person to
9:05change before I can be free.
9:08And whether you understand forgive me as
9:10speaking to God or divinity or your
9:12higher self or even some deeper aspect
9:14of your own consciousness,
9:16the intention is the same.
9:18I am ready to let this go.
9:20You know, I mentioned the story about
9:21Dr. Hew Len, which was probably more
9:24than anything else the reason why
9:26Ho'oponopono became so famous.
9:28And it's an incredible story, but what I
9:30want to be responsible in how how I tell
9:34it because it's repeated online
9:35constantly. I have not found clinical
9:38documentation that verifies the
9:39extraordinary version of the story
9:40exactly as it's usually told. So,
9:42consider this part of the lore
9:44surrounding modern Ho'oponopono rather
9:46than scientific evidence, but the story
9:47is that Hew Len worked with a ward of
9:49severely mentally ill patients at Hawaii
9:52State Hospital. And according to the
9:54story, he didn't sit down and conduct
9:56conventional psychotherapy with each
9:58patient. Instead, he would read their
10:00files. As he encountered the disturbing
10:02things these patients had done, he
10:04practiced Ho'oponopono. But here's the
10:06remarkable part. He wasn't trying to
10:08heal them.
10:09He used it to clean and clear himself.
10:12So, the story claims that over time the
10:14patients improved, medications and
10:17restraints were reduced, the working
10:19environment changed, patients were
10:20discharged, eventually the ward closed.
10:23Now, again, I can't substantiate these
10:25extraordinary claims with the kind of
10:27documentation I would need to present
10:29them to you as scientific fact,
10:31but forget the miraculous part of the
10:32story for a moment because the
10:33underlying idea is fascinating enough.
10:36Hew Len wasn't asking,
10:38"What's wrong with these people?" He was
10:40asking, "What's happening within me as I
10:42experience these people?"
10:45And that is a completely different
10:46relationship with reality, and this is
10:48where Ho'oponopono becomes particularly
10:50interesting to me because what if the
10:52experiences that we encounter aren't
10:55random?
10:56What if reality is constantly providing
10:58feedback about the contents of your
11:00consciousness?
11:02So, this doesn't mean I thought a
11:04negative thought and therefore somebody
11:05crashed into my car, and it certainly
11:07doesn't mean that someone who
11:08experienced abuse should be told, "You
11:10attracted your abuse." But what I'm
11:13saying is much more nuanced.
11:15I believe there is an ongoing
11:17correspondence between our internal
11:19world and the experiences through which
11:21our consciousness evolves, and
11:23therefore,
11:24when something appears in my life that
11:26produces enormous emotional charge, I've
11:29learned not to immediately reject it,
11:30but to understand that there's something
11:32inside of me that needs to experience
11:34this.
11:36That is ready to work through this so
11:37that I can get to the next level. And as
11:39long as I deny the experience or argue
11:42with the experience,
11:44I stay caught in the loop.
11:46Like as soon as I take responsibility
11:47for it and I go inward and I look to see
11:50what needs to be healed, I set myself up
11:53for moving beyond it.
11:55You know, resentment keeps you trapped
11:57in the loop. Think about it. Resentment
11:59maintains the emotions, the beliefs, and
12:02the details of the original experience.
12:03Every time you replay what happened,
12:05your body responds. Every time you tell
12:08the story, you reinforce its meaning.
12:10Every time you reinforce the meaning,
12:12you strengthen the belief. And every
12:13time you strengthen the belief, you
12:15increase the probability that you'll
12:17continue interpreting and responding to
12:18reality through the resentment. So, the
12:21past continues creating the future. Not
12:24because the event is still happening,
12:26because the event is still happening
12:27inside of you. And this is why you can
12:30leave one relationship and find the same
12:31relationship again. You can leave one
12:33bad business partnership and find the
12:35same bad business partnership again. You
12:37can move to another city, you can change
12:39jobs, you can switch out friends, rotate
12:41spouses, change circumstances, somehow
12:45find yourself saying, "Why does this
12:47keep happening to me?" Because you
12:49changed the scenery without changing the
12:51pattern.
12:52And that's why forgiveness can be such a
12:54powerful act. Forgiveness doesn't change
12:56what happened. Forgiveness changes
12:58whether or not you allow what happened
13:00to continue to exist in your current
13:02reality.
13:04That's a very different understanding of
13:05forgiveness.
13:06So, I want to invite you to into a
13:08practice.
13:10The next time something triggers you,
13:11don't immediately try to make the
13:12trigger disappear. Don't immediately
13:14send the text or defend yourself or
13:17explain why the other person is wrong.
13:19Give yourself a few minutes and ask,
13:22"What is this revealing in me?"
13:25And maybe it's anger, so stay with it.
13:27What's underneath the anger?
13:29Maybe it's they don't respect me. Okay,
13:32cool. What's the belief?
13:34I'm not respected.
13:36Fantastic. See if you can go a little
13:37deeper. What does it mean about you?
13:40That I'm not important.
13:41Boom. There it is. Now you have
13:44something to work with. And this is
13:46where I would use the four phrases.
13:48Thank you. Thank you for showing me
13:50this. I couldn't transform something I
13:52couldn't see. I love you. I bring love
13:54to this part of myself. The younger
13:56version of me who formed this belief
13:58wasn't stupid. He was trying to make
13:59sense of an experience. He did the best
14:01that he could with the consciousness
14:02that he had. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for
14:05continuing to carry this
14:06misunderstanding. I'm sorry for every
14:08way I've continued using the past as
14:11evidence of who I am today.
14:13And please forgive me.
14:14God, divinity, consciousness, please
14:16forgive me for my misunderstanding.
14:18Help me release the memory, the
14:20resentment, the belief, the emotional
14:21charge associated with this experience.
14:24And then I would add something from my
14:25own work that isn't part of the
14:27traditional Ho'oponopono practice. I'd
14:29ask yourself,
14:30"What do I choose to believe now?"
14:33Maybe
14:34I'm respected. I'm worthy. I'm safe. I'm
14:38loved. And then,
14:40"Who would I be in this situation if
14:43that were what I actually believed?"
14:45Maybe you would still confront the
14:47person. Maybe you'd establish a
14:48boundary. Maybe you'd just leave the
14:50environment. Forgiveness doesn't make
14:52you passive. It makes your action
14:55cleaner. Because now you're no longer
14:57acting from the wound, you're acting
14:58from choice. And maybe that's the deeper
15:00wisdom inside Ho'oponopono.
15:02Somebody triggers you. Reality presents
15:05something you don't like. And instead of
15:06immediately asking, "How do I change
15:08this?" you ask, "What is this revealing
15:10in me?" Thank you for showing me. I love
15:13the part of myself that this is
15:15revealed. I'm sorry for the
15:16misunderstanding that I've carried.
15:18Please forgive me as I release it.
15:20Because ultimately forgiveness isn't
15:21saying what happened was okay. It's
15:22saying what happened no longer gets to
15:24determine who I am. The other person
15:26doesn't need to apologize. They don't
15:28need to understand. They don't need to
15:29participate. They may never change.
15:32Because you're no longer waiting for
15:33them to set you free. You're clearing
15:35what's happening within you.
15:37And perhaps that's why four simple
15:39phrases have resonated with millions of
15:42people. Thank you. I love you. I'm
15:45sorry. Please forgive me. Not as magic
15:48words, but as a practice of
15:49responsibility. A practice of release.
15:51And ultimately, a practice of becoming
15:54free.
15:55So, look, if you want some help
15:57identifying where you may be ready to
15:59let go of some limiting beliefs or
16:00resentments, I've got an amazing tool
16:01for you. It is still in the description
16:03of the show notes. It is the David AI
16:05Powered Assessment. It only takes about
16:073 minutes. It's absolutely free. It's
16:08going to help you identify three big
16:10beliefs or resentments that you're still
16:12holding on to and give you access to a
16:13powerful tool that we teach called the
16:15Decision Matrix to help you transform
16:16them. If you haven't yet, by the way,
16:18subscribe, become a part of our
16:20community, hit that bell icon. I come
16:21out with two episodes every single week.
16:23And it is just the greatest joy to see
16:25our community growing so quickly. And if
16:27you love this episode as much as I love
16:29sharing it with you, do me a favor and
16:30pay it forward, right? Just let somebody
16:32know about it who needs to hear it today
16:34because this self-growth project that
16:36we're all on together, it is not a
16:37do-it-yourself project. It is a
16:39do-it-with-others. And I'm just so
16:40grateful to be here with you. I love you
16:41so much. And I will see you in the next
16:43episode.

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