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The Truth About Ethan Klein's Lies, the End of FRENEMIES & Jason Nash Breakup… | Just Trish — Transcript

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0:00everyone was coming out of the woodwork.
0:01So, obviously I was still getting
0:04canceled, harassed, whatever you want to
0:05call it, from obviously the H3 podcast
0:07was still coming from me constantly.
0:08Jason was on How ie Mandel being like,
0:11Trisha crashed my car into the house.
0:12>> When you talk about Shane, you talk
0:13about [music] instantly like having a
0:14crush on him and stuff. Is it just
0:16because it was a man who was like
0:18spending time with you?
0:18>> yeah. Oh, Shane to me was like my
0:20boyfriend. Like I was like, he's
0:22cheating on Lisa with me cuz we would be
0:23together all the time.
0:34[music]
0:38[music]
0:43[laughter]
0:47Welcome to
0:50Crying on the Kitchen Floor day. Today
0:52is November 10th.
0:54Right? Is November 10th a Tuesday?
0:56>> Yeah.
0:57>> November 10th, my memoir Crying on the
1:00Kitchen Floor is available now
1:02everywhere. [music]
1:03It's published. I'm a published author,
1:05you guys. My life story is out there.
1:08And when you see this, I will be on my
1:11book tour. I think I'll be in New York
1:13signing books,
1:15eating Domino's.
1:17It's going to be great. It's going to be
1:18great. I'm really excited about it.
1:20Really nervous. Oh my gosh, my book has
1:22been two years in
1:24the making. Everything's okay?
1:26>> Yeah. It's a big show.
1:28>> Two years in the making.
1:30Really 38 years in the making. That's
1:32really what this book is. My life story.
1:35Today I am joined by an amazing
1:38journalist
1:39moderator today.
1:41That's kind of what you're giving. I
1:42really was like, Oscar, time to produce,
1:45time to make something out of this cuz
1:47obviously I'll be gone. I'm
1:49watch a big Hot Topic breaks and then we
1:50just come up with this on the Tuesday.
1:52Everyone's like, Trisha, what about this
1:53thought? So, we do have to pre-film
1:55these cuz I will be on my book tour, but
1:57we thought to do a little in-depth
1:58Crying on the Kitchen Floor. If you
1:59don't know, Oscar already did his review
2:01on Oscar. He was one of the first
2:02reviews out there of the book, Oscar
2:03Gracie Vlogs.
2:04>> Yeah.
2:05>> You did a full in-depth. Was that your
2:07in-depth or were you going to do a part
2:09two? You said you were going to do like
2:10a generic I I haven't watched it yet.
2:12>> It's I so I filmed for an hour. I
2:14reviewed it for an hour and then I was
2:15like, well, I got to cut this down. So
2:17it ended up being like an 18-minute
2:18review. Yeah, so it's still pretty long.
2:21>> all the lost footage?
2:22>> I just kept talking in circles as I do,
2:24you know? So I know for if it was you
2:26filming it, you would have posted it
2:28all. Yeah. Yeah.
2:29>> hour. That's crazy that you didn't. Oh
2:30my gosh, give it to us for our Patreon.
2:32We need to post that on unfiltered raw
2:36review. Well, I appreciate you
2:38um
2:40posting it and reading it first. You
2:42read it in its entirety?
2:43>> Yes, I read it in its entirety. You gave
2:45this to me about like two two or three
2:47weeks ago. I did finish it in like a
2:49week and I would have finished it
2:50faster, but I was reading at night and
2:52then I did have to go to sleep at some
2:53point, you know? Uh
2:54>> it's hard to put that book down.
2:55>> Yes. No, it really was hard to put it
2:57down cuz it was
2:59so good. I said this in my video too,
3:01but I don't know what I was expecting
3:05because, you know, we reviewed past uh
3:07books of yours, literary works of yours
3:09on our Patreon and stuff. And you are,
3:12you know, a self-published author in the
3:14past. So it was
3:16>> Raw.
3:16>> didn't know. I didn't know which way to
3:18go. You know, obviously supportive
3:19bestie. Either way, I was going to love
3:21it. But [laughter]
3:22it actually is a good book. Like it is a
3:25genuine good book. There is a lot of
3:28humor. There's a lot of heart. There's a
3:30lot of emotion. And it is an emotional
3:33roller coaster. It is definitely an
3:35emotional roller coaster to say the
3:36least.
3:37>> Yes. I'm very very proud. Yeah, on that
3:39note, like I've always considered myself
3:41like a good writer. Like I feel like
3:42early on, like people always told me I
3:43was like a good writer. But like writing
3:44books is like this whole other beast.
3:46Obviously, I did self-publish like 10
3:47books that I wrote on my own. And it can
3:49be a little like chaotic, especially
3:50with the way I think and stuff like
3:51that. So on this book, not only did I
3:52have a Grand Central Publishing, which
3:53is like one of my favorite It was like
3:55the first meeting I took for a
3:56publishing company and I was like done
3:57and done. My UK publishers are Simon
3:58Schuster. So like good hands for sure um
4:02because also people just me. So like
4:04obviously my editor, Jackie, like she
4:06she would say like I came to Radio City
4:07Music Hall, like I was a fan. Like all
4:08that stuff was like really important to
4:09me cuz then when I tried to work with
4:11like other collaborators that didn't
4:12know me or didn't get me, maybe they
4:13worked on like real Housewife books or
4:14something like that, but they didn't get
4:15me. It just didn't like mesh well. So I
4:16had to really find people that like knew
4:18me, was fans of me, like knew me, knew
4:20my voice, knew all that stuff like that
4:21because we spent lots of time together.
4:22Like I probably spent hours and hours
4:24and hours every week like for two years
4:26like talking to everybody that was
4:28involved, my agent Tia over at CAA and
4:30stuff like that, just really trying to
4:31get what I want to say and everything
4:33like that. And I think it worked out
4:34really great and formatted well because
4:36you [snorts] know when I started this
4:38memoir, I started it actually like five
4:39years ago when Malibu was born.
4:41I would sit up at night and like type
4:42out my memoir and it would just be
4:44cuz like again, formatting a book is
4:45very different than like formatting just
4:47your thoughts or your journal. I think I
4:48am like a good writer that way, but it
4:50was just like literally just like run-on
4:51sentences, all the stuff like that. My
4:53original idea for this memoir was to
4:55write it as like
4:56from a character point of view and not
4:58me. [laughter] Cuz I was like I can't
5:00fully be honest as myself. So I was like
5:02I my initial memoir that I would send
5:03out to everybody, like any collaborator
5:05that was going to help me write this
5:07I had a really great one named Alex. He
5:08was really great and he kind of helped
5:09me like decipher all my thoughts and my
5:11writings cuz I had like a I had just
5:12like a crazy transcript.
5:14And it was kind of all over the place.
5:16He's like who is I think her name was
5:17Tasha. I think I was like writing like
5:19hey guys, Tasha here.
5:21>> Okay, like gossip girl tea is a little
5:23bit. Yeah.
5:24>> So I was writing as if it wasn't me cuz
5:26I like I don't want to get sued cuz I I
5:28honestly was going to like self-publish
5:29a memoir. Like I was like I'm just going
5:30to self-publish everything I need to
5:31say, whatever. And like thank God I got
5:32publishers, but thank God I got
5:34publishers cuz that that would have been
5:35a crazy that would have been a crazy
5:37memoir that a lot of stuff nobody cares
5:38about. So
5:39yeah, I'm very I'm very happy with it.
5:41I'm very proud of it and yeah, I think I
5:44think also just like putting it out
5:47like out for everyone to see. I think I
5:48said right before here like I was I was
5:50like most nervous actually about like my
5:51childhood cuz like
5:53I think in your video you talked about
5:54like the stories I talked about and it's
5:55like yes, stories people have heard and
5:57you kind of phrased it nicely where
5:58you're just like but like what I thought
6:00about it, the reaction, that kind of
6:02stuff like that like I feel is very
6:03different.
6:04I feel like there's some new stories in
6:05there. I feel like a lot early on, like
6:07we mentioned before, like I think the
6:08childhood stuff is like
6:10stuff I didn't think anybody would care
6:11about, but the more I keep doing
6:12interviews, the more people are asking
6:13about it. The Hollywood era, like before
6:15I was on YouTube, but before I was like
6:17really sharing my life on YouTube, I
6:18think that's interesting that people
6:20like that. Um I don't know. I guess it's
6:22just certain stories that you think like
6:23nothing of, like
6:25being kidnapped in a basement. Like I
6:26really didn't think anything of it
6:27because I didn't feel like a kidnapping.
6:28It really just felt like, oh going to
6:29the basement and like locked me in there
6:30for a couple days. Like it didn't feel
6:31But then like when you retell the story
6:33When I did the Paul Sebranson one, I was
6:34like walking him through like a
6:35kidnapping and he at the end he was just
6:37like, oh my god, I don't think I've ever
6:38been walked through an abduction before.
6:39And I was like, oh my god, is that what
6:40had just happened? Like you know, you
6:41just kind of don't know until you So I
6:43am nervous because the day is the day
6:44that it is out. So all the reviews will
6:46be published today. I am nervous to see
6:48what people will say, especially because
6:49a lot of book reviewers will get these
6:52books and maybe they're not even a fan
6:54of mine or they don't even know that
6:55much about me or something. So it's
6:56always a little scary because obviously
6:58I think my my fans I think will like it.
7:00The people who are just picking this
7:02book up randomly as a memoir and
7:04>> I mean, there were so many people,
7:05professionals that worked with you.
7:08Let's say when you recorded the
7:08audiobook, there were people there just
7:10working.
7:10>> Yeah.
7:11>> But they were so enchanted by just
7:13hearing you and
7:15like how funny it is, how interesting it
7:17is, the story.
7:18>> that gives me confidence. I'm worried
7:20about you listening to it too, actually.
7:22[laughter] I didn't even think. I
7:22thought about my mom, my dad cuz I love
7:24my mom and dad. I'm very close with them
7:26now. So I'm always like, but I got to be
7:27honest. And that was like that was
7:28another reason I wanted to work with a
7:29collaborator cuz obviously I never
7:30mentioned my childhood before and he's
7:31just like, but you kind of have to like
7:33say all that to like people understand
7:35who you are as a person and everything.
7:36So there's, you know, stuff in there
7:38that I think maybe could be embarrassing
7:40or something to my parents or something
7:41like that, but it was I only kept what
7:43could like
7:44help the story move along and like show
7:45what shaped me, I guess, if that makes
7:47sense, um for better or worse. But
7:50with you, I'm nervous because I know you
7:52are nervous about me writing a book
7:54because
7:55you're like it's so hard like when
7:57someone tells Obviously, you guys see on
7:59the podcast we have different
7:59perspectives of
8:01of life. We could have a on our Patreon
8:02we just filmed We were talking about a
8:04conversation and the way I perceived it
8:06versus how Moses meant it to be was
8:09it's very different. Sometimes,
8:10especially our first meetings and stuff
8:12like that, are perceived differently.
8:13>> That's why I knew I just have to step
8:15aside
8:17and be completely not involved or aware
8:20of anything happening
8:22so I don't by
8:24even mistake or impulse interfere.
8:27>> Yeah.
8:28Yeah, you were very sidelined.
8:30>> it's if it's really bad, I'll just have
8:32to write my own book, but [laughter]
8:34aside of that
8:36>> Is it really bad after?
8:37>> Like I don't know.
8:39>> Your rebuttal.
8:39>> our our memories of events at the
8:42beginning are probably very different.
8:45Cuz also
8:45>> it's not the same memories. I think
8:47different perceptions. Moses sometimes
8:50you tell people like love at first sight
8:51and I'm like, well, that's kind of crazy
8:52if you thought that. Like I mean, but
8:53maybe you did and I'm not taking that
8:54away from you.
8:55>> about myself, but
8:56>> think that? You had love at first sight
8:58for me? I would think not.
9:00>> a very strong connection. Otherwise I
9:01would You don't know me. Otherwise I
9:03would not be around at all. I would walk
9:05away after the first time meeting you
9:06cuz that's usually what I would do.
9:07>> very magnetic or maybe I was magnetic or
9:09we were magnetic towards each other. I
9:11say that too. I say that too. Not to
9:12spoil the book or anything. I do say
9:14that I also felt we were
9:16pulled back together so many times.
9:19>> Yeah, it was like something else,
9:21a past life or like something else, you
9:24know, was involved. Yeah.
9:26But all I'm saying is like
9:29I was 100% sober.
9:31[laughter]
9:32So I remember my
9:34and I don't know
9:36you know, like
9:37how clear your memory was of
9:40>> I think it's pretty clear. [laughter]
9:41Perception can be different, but my
9:43memory Weirdly, I talk about I start at
9:45the very beginning of the book saying
9:47like I'm an unreliable narrator and I've
9:48seen some people that take this and be
9:50like, oh, this is just her way of
9:51prepping the book being like, there
9:52could be lies in here. I don't know.
9:54I will say I started out my book that
9:55way because I I felt that. I was like,
9:58god, I don't remember things and I don't
10:00remember.
10:01But as I wrote the book, I was like, I
10:03remember things quite clearly, like more
10:05clearly than most people will give me
10:06credit for and especially if I had
10:07emails, texts, videos, obviously now
10:10logical thinking, like I'm just like,
10:13where's where's the receipts for this?
10:15You know what I mean? So like,
10:17I actually by the end of the book, I can
10:18not to spoil it. I was like, wait, I
10:20kind of I kind of remember a lot
10:21actually. And I think like
10:22there's just associating for sure and
10:24there's stuff that I don't talk about
10:25and like bury down and it's like, okay,
10:26I really have to like think through to
10:27remember. But I even tone down that a
10:29lot at the beginning of the book too. I
10:30tone down a lot of like vivid memories
10:32that came back and I was just like, let
10:34me tone that down because I don't want
10:35it to be too graphic or anything like
10:37that. But
10:38I ended up remembering a lot. So even at
10:40the beginning I just call myself an
10:41unreliable narrator. In fact, very
10:42reliable.
10:43So much so,
10:45I went through two rounds of legal with
10:47here in the UK and the UK is very strict
10:49and was able to pass all of it. And if
10:51there was something that I couldn't
10:52verify or find proof of, they were like,
10:54let's just take it out. And I was like,
10:56all right, period. So I feel very
10:57confident in my
10:59story.
11:00>> Can you
11:01start with too like when did this kind
11:03of come about? Cuz I know even when we
11:05first started the podcast, you talked
11:06about like how Moses would go to sleep
11:08and then you would like work on your
11:10memoir and stuff. But when did like you
11:12start meeting with like publishers? Did
11:15you already have the title in mind when
11:17you were meeting with them or did that
11:17come later on?
11:18>> Oh my god, Oscar, you're so good. You
11:20are so good. Like honestly,
11:22damn, you really should just be an
11:24interviewer. You are so good. This is
11:25why I was so happy to have you. I mean,
11:27you're always so good, but like this is
11:29what I needed cuz like I don't know, you
11:30know me, I'd be I'd be rambling here for
11:312 hours straight if it wasn't for you.
11:33Um yes, so
11:36well, yeah, I did I did myself published
11:37memoir when I was like 24 and you know,
11:40I don't know. I like talking about
11:41myself, but I feel like in writing in
11:43books, I feel like it's like so um
11:45concrete. It's so like
11:47I don't know why people take like when
11:48you write a book, they take you
11:49seriously and they take the content of
11:51it seriously. I don't know. I think like
11:53books are just
11:54when you write a book, you're just like
11:55respected in a different way. So
11:57that was always my goal with the first
11:58books. But with this one, it was after
12:01um
12:01it was after I had Malibu. We didn't
12:03have anything going on. We didn't have
12:04the podcast.
12:06I was doing my ASMR, my cooking
12:07channels, but I was just like, damn, I
12:09really like want to
12:11tell my side of so many stories. I think
12:12like 2022 specifically,
12:15everyone was coming out of the woodwork.
12:17So obviously, I was still getting
12:20canceled, harassed, whatever you want to
12:21call it, from obviously the H3 podcast
12:22was still coming for me constantly.
12:24Jason was on Howie Mandel being like
12:26Trisha crashed my car into the house.
12:28And so that was my first thing where I
12:29was like,
12:30okay, like I know this was told to me,
12:32but now you're like saying it as fact on
12:34this podcast. So then I was like, let me
12:35So I was That's why I wanted to tell it
12:37from like a character point of view
12:38because I was like, just in case I can't
12:39remember all the facts, let me tell it
12:40from a character just in case.
12:42And then I started remembering more and
12:43I was like, god, I really would love to
12:44just
12:45say my piece. And I thought after I gave
12:47birth to Malibu too, I was obviously
12:49coherent. Obviously I was sober for
12:52I guess like two years at that point. I
12:53took my last pill in 2020, December
12:552020. So I was like sober two years. So
12:56I felt very clear headed and I was like,
12:59I really want to tell this story. And
13:00again, I thought people took it more
13:01seriously if it was in book form cuz no
13:03one wanted to hear from me in 2022,
13:05you know, I was sitting having Starbucks
13:07and like in my car and no one cared or
13:08whatever. So I was like, god, it's like
13:09how do I tell this story and people are
13:10like listen.
13:12Also just for me, I thought maybe I just
13:13wanted to tell like all my like truths
13:15out there.
13:17Then I kind of paused it
13:18and um we were trying everything else.
13:21We were trying everything else. I don't
13:22know. And I was like, let me just at
13:23nighttime I was up. So I was like, let
13:25me just try and write this.
13:27Um my original title
13:29I think I talked about it. Did I talk
13:30about my original title?
13:31>> I don't think we talked about your
13:31titles.
13:32>> Yeah. So my original title
13:34Like hindsight, like I'm glad I didn't
13:36go with this, but like it really was
13:37like I was going to like live or die by
13:38this title.
13:40I think I I see a cover first, but it
13:42was confessions of a middle aged drama
13:44queen. And and then I was going to be
13:46confessions of a former middle aged
13:47drama And then it got really long and it
13:48got really perplexed. But I wanted all
13:50the like little little Lindsay Lohan
13:51[laughter] like faces. Like that's
13:54But nobody nobody really liked that. But
13:57then this before even I was talking to
13:58publishers, but my original transcript,
14:00my manuscript that I wrote for that one,
14:02um yeah, that was like the original cuz
14:04I was trying to also look talk it in
14:05like a healing perspective. I was going
14:07to be like, you know what I should have
14:08done differently. This book is not
14:09really written like that even though I
14:10talk about how I feel. I'm never I was
14:12more apologetic in my first manuscript.
14:14I was very much like confessions of a
14:16former aged age drama queen and like
14:18what I don't think now and that was so
14:19wrong and I was really like chastising
14:20myself a lot where I feel like in this
14:22one I feel a little vindicated sometimes
14:24with my outbursts that I did to some
14:26people. Sometimes I feel bad, but then
14:27sometimes I'm like I kind of am a little
14:29relentless on certain people.
14:31Um which I'm glad I I glad I I'm glad
14:33I'm able to do because back then I was
14:34very more much more apologetic to
14:36people. And then when I saw specifically
14:38the clip of Jason talking about me
14:39crashing his car with Howie Mandel was
14:41kind of like
14:42I I don't know. Then I was like a little
14:43more like no no no. Like I let people
14:45like definitely take advantage of my
14:47like
14:49obviously being mentally unwell and not
14:50remembering things, but like
14:52I also let people take advantage of like
14:53just me being silenced and me being like
14:55yep, I was crazy. I'm so sorry. I wish I
14:56wouldn't have done that. Like I cuz I
14:57think I've done apology videos to even
14:58David Dobrik. I think I was like I'm so
15:00sorry. Like I think I have done those
15:01apologies and I was like
15:03I was kind of done doing that. I was
15:04like okay, I apologize to so many people
15:05and I get like nothing back and no one
15:07even cares and I'm so like am I sorry?
15:09Half the time no.
15:11>> Yeah, it is such like a fine line to
15:12balance because obviously you want to
15:14like atone for some things, but you
15:16don't also want to like lay down and
15:18then be the scapegoat still cuz that's
15:20kind of the recurring theme throughout
15:22the book is that like you
15:25degrade yourself like when you were
15:27younger, so then when you're in these
15:28like older relationships, it's easy for
15:30people to degrade you especially like I
15:32think of the David Dobrik vlog squad
15:34version of Trisha who was like the butt
15:35of the jokes and very much like
15:37dehumanizing yourself cuz that's just
15:39the character that you could tap into
15:41and play.
15:42>> Mm.
15:42>> Um and still even though you're healed,
15:45part of that is like yeah, just taking
15:46the lashings, but it you do also have to
15:48balance that with standing up for
15:49yourself and also testifying no like I
15:52am wrong in some certain situations, but
15:54I'm also right in certain situations.
15:56And I think that's why like I don't
15:58know. I was very much like intrigued the
15:59whole time I was reading it because
16:01there is like a a moral nuance to it.
16:03Like there is such a gray area with
16:06the the morality where it's like it's
16:07almost like a crime scene where like you
16:09have the end, but working in reverse.
16:10Like we have the we have the solution.
16:12We have what actually happened and then
16:14we have to find the strings to go back
16:16and see like how the hell did we get
16:18here, you know? And it's a
16:20yeah. That's kind of how I felt about it
16:22when I was reading it the whole time.
16:24Um because luckily happy ending here,
16:27but working our way [laughter] back it's
16:29like damn it was really dicey here and
16:32there, you know? So
16:34>> that's I I No, I appreciate you saying
16:36that too because that's like my I would
16:37there's always be want to know a theme
16:39or takeaway and like I you know, I was
16:40like a hope core inspiration, but then I
16:42realized yeah, the main thing was
16:46like this I had no self-worth. I had
16:48zero self-worth and you can kind of see
16:50it deteriorate throughout the book
16:51obviously like that cuz I didn't always
16:53start out that way. Obviously I had the
16:54delusion that I wanted to be like famous
16:55and I thought I should have bigger and
16:57better things like waiting for me and
16:58stuff like that. So I always had that in
17:00me and then it got diminished along the
17:01way and then yeah, I just we've seen it
17:03online and I show it in the book like I
17:04had zero self-respect for myself when I
17:07talk about all the sex work that I did
17:08and all stuff like that and it's like I
17:09was I was like
17:11I was doing like the worst of the worst
17:13and stuff like that and I think it was
17:14cuz I had just like low Oh, I know it
17:15was cuz I had just zero self-worth. So
17:16like anything I did was just like a
17:18shell of myself and and yeah, in the
17:20book I'm definitely take accountability.
17:22I definitely am like
17:24saying all the crazy up [ __ ] I did, you
17:25know? And it's like yeah, I didn't crash
17:27my car into your living room like you
17:29said. Maybe I like pretended to be dead
17:30so you would come outside in the pool,
17:31but I wasn't like harming anyone like in
17:33the house or something. You know what I
17:34mean? So it's like I I definitely will
17:36like take accountability for everything
17:38that I did do in these situations, but
17:39I'm definitely not going to just like
17:41let people just like spin their own
17:42narrative, which is what has happened
17:43for so long, which is why I was like I'm
17:45just so crazy, I'm just that. It's like
17:46that's absolutely not true and so I
17:49thought that was like really important.
17:51And then when we're going back to the
17:52title like
17:54I then I signed with my publishers like
17:55it it was cool. It was cool. When I was
17:57doing this whole like book process like
17:59the first step is a proposal and I would
18:02work with a couple of different people
18:03cuz proposals are so difficult onto
18:04itself. Like you know Moses cuz you were
18:06trying to like you're trying Moses was
18:07working on a book when I met him and so
18:09like did you pay someone to do a
18:10proposal for you?
18:11>> A book proposal.
18:12>> A book proposal. So like you yeah,
18:13usually like pay someone to do a
18:15proposal because it's like a crazy
18:17format. Like it's you know, you give the
18:18synopsis then you have to give like a
18:20chapter, you'd give like a table of
18:21contents, like it's
18:22it's really difficult to do. Like you'd
18:23have to be a really, like, esteemed
18:24writer to like do this.
18:26>> or like why would why would people like
18:29this, right? Like what So to show like
18:31people's interest with water, let's say,
18:32things that you know, so in this case,
18:34you know, this is your demographic, your
18:36statistics, right?
18:37>> you get the statistics, too. You have to
18:38give all that stuff like that, but it's
18:39like this whole thing and it takes like
18:40alone a book proposal, it can cost
18:42thousands of dollars if you want to
18:44write one. If you're trying to get a
18:44publisher, obviously, if you sell a
18:45publisher, you don't need one. Didn't
18:46even know about this. Obviously, CAA
18:48helped me find somebody, but then I, you
18:49know, I paid that person to do with the
18:51proposal for me and that process alone,
18:53I probably went through three or four
18:54different about three or four different
18:55collaborators for that and it just like
18:57And thank God I have a really good book
18:59agent, her name's Tia, and like thank
19:00God she was with me every step of the
19:01way cuz I'm very much I I stopped doing
19:04this even now. I'm very much like, oh, I
19:06don't know what I'm doing. Like I don't
19:07even know. Just you know what I mean?
19:08Just whatever. I'm just so stupid at
19:10this stuff. Like you guys like you know
19:11And certain things I am like editing.
19:12Obviously, I'm not going to give Jimmy
19:13editing notes and stuff like that, but
19:14it's also with the book writing, it's
19:16intimidating. So I'm just like, well, it
19:17seems fine and they've done memoirs, so
19:19I'm just going to trust them. And then
19:20luckily Tia, who's done worked on so
19:21many memoirs, is like, no, this is like
19:22not it. This is not the voice cuz I
19:24worked with a lot of people, too, that
19:25kind of either didn't know anything
19:26about me or saw me at surface level from
19:28videos and they would kind of portray me
19:29as like one thing and Tia's like, no,
19:31it's like so much deeper than this. So I
19:32went through a lot of that and then when
19:33I found um
19:35Alex, one of my collaborators, he helped
19:37me write this amazing proposal and then
19:39I realized like, okay, this is the
19:40person I'm going to do my book with. And
19:42um
19:43And then so then then we get the we got
19:46right before I gave birth to Aquaman,
19:47like three weeks before I got meetings
19:49set up and we probably had like eight or
19:51nine with all the major publishing
19:53houses and it just so happened that
19:55Grand Central was the first and um
19:58they had just done Sheena Shay's memoir
20:00and stuff like that. I don't know. They
20:01did a lot of female memoirs and then I
20:02just like loved Jackie, my editor, and
20:04then there was like 10 other people and
20:05they were all like these girls who just
20:07like
20:08I don't know, it just felt so good after
20:09so long of people
20:11Oh my gosh, it's like so getting into
20:12the weeds of this. But when we first
20:13started the podcast, like not to get
20:15like too in the weeds, but like when we
20:16first started this podcast, we had a
20:17company that was like helping us get ads
20:18and I just remember them and this was
20:20like right around the book time, too,
20:21and I just remember them telling me like
20:23I was trying to get away, like separate
20:25from them because we just weren't
20:26getting ads. We literally went like
20:27three months without ads, and I was just
20:28like, this seems odd because we did
20:29really well on our first year. I was
20:30like, this is kind of don't get ads.
20:31And they like wouldn't let Like they
20:32were like really not trying to get me
20:33out of this contract, which is crazy
20:35because they weren't even making money,
20:35so I was so confused. Um and they were
20:38just like, well, you should be happy we
20:39even take you because like it's
20:41embarrassing to say we have you like the
20:43Just Trish podcast when we go to
20:44meetings. Like they'd be like we'd be in
20:45New York sitting next to people and
20:46like, oh my god, you work with Trisha?
20:48Like that's so embarrassing. Like why
20:50would you Like then they told us that,
20:51remember? To
20:52>> Well, I think they made it up to They
20:54were just nasty. Like I think they
20:56literally
20:57>> Which is even crazier than if they made
20:58it up. I was just like, damn.
20:59>> a way to negotiate just to make you feel
21:01bad about yourself.
21:02>> wants you. Everyone thinks the podcast
21:03is embarrassing. The podcast was killing
21:04it. This was like six months into the
21:06podcast and we were getting great
21:07numbers, and I was like, okay, so let me
21:08go then. Like if I'm if I'm so
21:10embarrassing.
21:10>> abusive behavior when you want to break
21:12up and they're like, oh, nobody wants
21:13you. Nobody will want you.
21:15>> It was That was awful. So it's like
21:16coming off the the that, which made me
21:18feel bad either way of whether it was
21:19like true or not. And so it was just so
21:22nice to be with Grand Central and they
21:23were just like all so excited and so
21:25excited and Tia's like they really want
21:27you like they want to put like an offer
21:29right away like to not take any more
21:30meetings. And
21:32>> Yeah, because I remember when you came
21:33off the call you were so ecstatic. Like
21:35they were so supportive, they were so
21:37nice, they got it, they were just so
21:39nice about it.
21:40>> They were like so excited.
21:41>> had eight calls
21:43scheduled with other
21:46>> That week before. It was like two three
21:47weeks before I was supposed to get birth
21:48and then that week before it publishers
21:49closed down in July, so it was like the
21:50end of June and it was like
21:52And so I was so excited and then when
21:54Tia's like they're so excited they don't
21:55even want to take you to anyone else and
21:56I was like, oh my gosh, so this was
21:57meant to be. So it was like meant to be.
21:58Then I got that which was like really
21:59exciting.
22:00Um and then
22:01>> we didn't didn't take any more calls.
22:03We're like this is it.
22:04>> That was it. Love them and it's been the
22:06best ever. I can't wait I get to go and
22:07meet them when I'm in New York because
22:08we do a lot of Zoom calls, but I get to
22:09meet them when we're in New York, which
22:10is really exciting. Um and the fact that
22:13they already come to my shows and stuff
22:14like obviously they didn't know, you
22:16know, that I was even writing a book, I
22:17don't think. I don't Anyways, they were
22:19they were already there, so that was
22:19really cool. And then So then yeah, the
22:21title comes in. We take us I had like
22:24the I had like a manuscript that I wrote
22:26then I worked with Alex a lot throughout
22:28the six months to kind of like, you
22:29know, fine tune things and kind of make
22:30it format into a book and stuff like
22:32that. And that was really great and
22:33pulled more out of me from like
22:34childhood and stuff. It was It was
22:35great. But
22:36then the title comes when you're kind of
22:38towards the the end almost. Like it's
22:39kind of like you need the title and the
22:41the the cover which was shot last
22:43December.
22:45And so the title is the big one because
22:47they they kind of brainstorm. They give
22:49you like CAA has their opinion and then
22:51Grand Central has their opinion and then
22:53Alex has an opinion and then like me, I
22:54have my opinion. So we're like all
22:56submitting all this stuff. And they I
22:57remember at one of the original titles
22:58was supposed to be
23:00You know what? And again, I I'm someone
23:02who just like goes with the flow. I'm
23:02like, you guys know better than me. Like
23:03I don't know. You know what I mean? And
23:04they they obviously do this for a
23:05living. But there was a lot of titles
23:07and I remember they really liked the
23:08Book of Trish, which I thought was kind
23:10of I was like, okay, like Book of
23:11Mormon. But then Charlie Sheen came out
23:13with Book of Sheen like literally a
23:14month later. And then they're like maybe
23:16not that. I thought it was kind of
23:18funny. I was trying to picture it cuz
23:19you know, I just kind of go along. I can
23:20I can kind of visualize anything. I was
23:21like Book of Trish. I'm like, okay, I
23:22kind of love that. It's kind of like
23:23culty religion, I guess. I don't know.
23:25It's kind of like a cool thing. But then
23:26I was like
23:27But anyways, it didn't work out. So
23:29yeah, and then they just brainstorm. And
23:30this was actually on a brainstorm list.
23:32It wasn't on even my list. I didn't even
23:33like think about it. But what's crazy is
23:35I guess I did think about it cuz my
23:36company has been called Crying on the
23:37Kitchen Floor LLC since I was like Yeah,
23:40since like all the paychecks, all the
23:41things that I pay from my bank account,
23:43everything like that from my bank
23:44account, my
23:45my
23:46my company is called Crying Huh?
23:48>> Yeah, the business company.
23:48>> business account, the business account.
23:49Yeah, the business account is Crying on
23:50the Kitchen Floor. And it's been like
23:51that since 2018 is been the name. And
23:53every time I call like my bank or
23:54something, they'll be like, oh, what is
23:56that business? Like people are always
23:57saying something about the name.
23:58>> They always ask.
23:59>> They always ask. We were just in the
24:00bank the other day and they're like,
24:01what's what's this business Crying on
24:02the Kitchen Floor? Are you in like Is it
24:04Is it cleaning? Like they don't know.
24:05Yeah. Thank you so much No CD for
24:08sponsoring today's episode of Just
24:09Trish. This is a really important
24:10episode to talk about this. So I really
24:12started struggling with anxiety later in
24:14life and I thought, oh my gosh, my
24:16anxiety like this can't be this bad for
24:17everybody. I realized that my anxiety
24:19was also a bigger part of OCD. Sometimes
24:21we think of OCD as the stereotypes like
24:22obsessive cleaning or obsessive
24:24organizing. And I was like, well, I'm
24:25none of those things, things, so much
24:26more than that. Specifically my
24:28intrusive thoughts, I think I just
24:29thought of it as something really scary
24:31and something I just had to live with,
24:32but it was truly ruining my life, these
24:34intrusive thoughts and the anxiety, and
24:35I just didn't know. I would try
24:37breathing exercises or I would try
24:38regular talk therapy, and it just wasn't
24:40doing the trick. And when I realized it
24:41was a part of a bigger diagnosis like
24:42OCD, I was able to get the help that I
24:44needed. NOCD provides treatment for OCD.
24:47It provides specialized treatment for
24:48OCD. You can learn to manage your OCD
24:50symptoms so you can live the life that
24:51you want. Your OCD symptoms can be
24:53manageable and it's not something you
24:54have to do alone. You can download the
24:56NOCD app and join the NOCD community. It
24:58specializes in exposure therapy, ERP
25:00therapy, which is exposure and response
25:01prevention therapy because sometimes
25:03talk therapy doesn't really help OCD. It
25:05can help a lot of the other symptoms and
25:07breathing exercises can help anxiety,
25:08but when you really do the ERP, you're
25:10really doing the work for specifically
25:12OCD. And anyone can succeed in spite of
25:14their OCD, and that's where NOCD wants
25:16to help. If you're struggling with OCD
25:17or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD
25:19can help. Book a free 15-minute call to
25:21get started at learn.nocd.com/trish.
25:24That's learn.nocd.com/trish.
25:27That's nocd.com/trish.
25:30Thank you so much to NOCD for sponsoring
25:31today's episode. Anyways, that's how you
25:33kind of know it's good because people
25:34were just like
25:35>> Also when you see all the names, then
25:39you realize that this is the name, you
25:41know? 'Cause before that you kind of
25:42know this is the name, but you think,
25:43well maybe I can do better.
25:45>> Yeah.
25:45>> But once you see all the names, I think
25:47also there was oversharing.
25:49>> Oversharing.
25:51That was a big one that they really
25:52wanted and I was really against that. I
25:54was like, guys, we can't do oversharing.
25:56>> when [laughter] you see all the names,
25:57you realize this is the only name like
25:59for this book.
26:00>> I think also yeah, and even when I told
26:02Tana, she was like, that's the title for
26:03sure. I think it's also like just so
26:05specific to me that no one else could
26:06have this title. So I thought it kind of
26:08was meant to be 'cause I was like, wait,
26:09that's literally the name of my business
26:11and people think it's so gaggy and I was
26:13like, so yeah. So that was that which I
26:16think is cool and now people say like,
26:17oh I'm in my Crying on Kitchen Floor era
26:19and stuff like that. So I think it's
26:20cool like the Domino's pop-up we're
26:21doing in New York is like they're
26:23recreating my Kitchen Floor and stuff.
26:24So I think it's kind of cool that it
26:25became kind of like gaggy and um
26:28it's kind of going full circle again.
26:29The person who currently lives there
26:30gets like fan mail. Like he sent me.
26:32>> That's crazy.
26:33>> Yeah, cuz you remember from my music
26:34video, I was like trying to write to it
26:35and no one responded. So I guess like
26:36someone like lives there now. And they
26:38sent me an email and like just so you
26:39know it's like real and they sent me
26:40like all the mail that came to their
26:41house. So now I have a contact over
26:43there so I could always go back. But it
26:45is kind of cool that it became that and
26:48and then yeah, you kind of you kind of
26:49sit on it for a while and people like
26:50let's see maybe this maybe that and I
26:51was like I think it's crying and then
26:53everyone kind of disagreed. They're like
26:54Crying on the Kitchen Floor is the name
26:56of the memoir. Cuz I also wanted
26:57something gaggy. Obviously the blueprint
26:58is Janet McCurdy's like I'm Glad My Mom
27:00Died. Like the cover, the title, it's so
27:03catchy. And so I feel like if you were
27:05to see this on the shelves, shout out
27:08Target, shout out Barnes & Noble, shout
27:09out to all the local book
27:11I did a call with a bunch of like local
27:13bookstores too and I was like
27:15shout out to everyone keeping like
27:17what is this called like physical media
27:19like alive. You know what I mean? Like
27:21cuz it's so cool cuz we love going to
27:23the bookstores so much. Like we
27:24obviously love Barnes & Noble nearby.
27:25There's one close to us. But like all
27:27the local bookstores have like kid
27:28stickers and stationery and my kids like
27:30love it. And there's been one called
27:32Book Soup that was really cool in LA.
27:33Like I used to just like love like local
27:35book shops and there's like and we're
27:37doing signings at some at some ones that
27:38aren't like you know the mainstream ones
27:40and stuff like that and I just think
27:40it's cool. So it's fun to get on with
27:42all the sellers and be like hey guys and
27:44so thank you everyone who bought the
27:45book cuz obviously they have to buy it
27:47there. But if you see it at like Target
27:48or something like that,
27:50I feel like it's also just like catches
27:51your eye. It just like crying on the
27:52Kitchen Floor. So
27:54I'm very excited. I think it and it is
27:55in Target. Shout out Target, shout out
27:57Barnes & Noble, shout out to all the
27:58local book shops.
27:59Love you guys who I'm really excited and
28:01I can't wait to go in there and sign
28:02books. You know how they do it? They're
28:03like wow, you found my book.
28:05>> please don't vandalize it.
28:06>> They're [laughter] like actually stop
28:07doing that. It's so funny cuz our local
28:09Barnes & Noble had like Miss Remy Ash on
28:11display for so long in the front and I
28:12was like hey guys like I really would
28:13love if I could have that display. It's
28:15not there anymore. They switched it. But
28:17it was Lena Dunham for a minute. So I
28:18was like can we please display
28:19[laughter] Megan's Mate?
28:20>> your boots on the ground. Yeah,
28:21grassroots.
28:22>> Barnes & Noble we are like I wasn't just
28:25saying this on the seller call just say
28:26it but like we are there like three to
28:27four times a week. Like we love it. It's
28:29also like they have great kid section.
28:30Anyways a whole thing. But
28:32Um yeah, that I just thought was cute
28:33and like
28:34pink too. I wanted the pink aesthetic to
28:36be there and
28:38yeah.
28:39I was very exciting.
28:41>> And like I told you earlier, I remember
28:43like picking it up and the first quote
28:45that really gagged me. Now I can
28:47actually read it in its totality.
28:49>> Oh wait, can you show your book? I love.
28:51It's like a college course. Like just
28:52like
28:52>> is very that. It's like my literature
28:55class.
28:56It's worn down. This is the arc
28:58obviously.
28:59>> Oh my god, you're right. It is. Like you
29:01you do have
29:01>> It's worn. I got some notes on it.
29:04>> you highlight?
29:05>> I didn't highlight. I just tabbed it.
29:07Yeah yeah yeah.
29:08>> I love when people like highlight their
29:09books and
29:10>> I got these little tabs so then I put it
29:12right at the start of the quotes every
29:13time there was something that like I
29:15thought was
29:16um gaggy to say the least. But yeah,
29:20this is literally my favorite quote and
29:21I think it just sums up you and also the
29:23book like so perfectly.
29:25Um again, this is early on in the book,
29:27Trixie performing at her talent show.
29:29And you say, but Trixie, didn't you
29:31already say you didn't have any talent?
29:33And you'd be right. This is where the
29:34delusion comes in. You have to
29:36understand that when it comes to me and
29:37my inner monologue, we're like
29:38Schrödinger's Trixie. We are all things
29:40at once. We are talented, we are
29:41untalented. We are crazy, we are sane.
29:43We are the hottest girl in the world and
29:44we are a dumpster. At any given moment,
29:47one side is slightly winning out over
29:48the other. And for now, I convinced
29:50myself that even if I couldn't recognize
29:51what my talent was, the very important
29:53people in Hollywood would. [laughter]
29:56And that once I got there, I was like,
29:57oh, I'm really seated for it. And that's
30:00literally the start of chapter two. So
30:01it was really early on. Yeah.
30:03>> Right in.
30:04>> And I think it really summarizes what
30:06you're going to experience in the book
30:07because [laughter] it is very that. It's
30:09like very much an emotional roller
30:11coaster. It's very much paradoxical.
30:13It's
30:14uh very contrarian at times. Uh very
30:17much who you are as a person.
30:19>> [laughter]
30:20>> AW, I'M SO THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. ALSO
30:22ALL THOSE WORDS you just used were
30:23amazing. You should write a book. That
30:24was crazy. Oh my gosh. Paradoxical. Like
30:27all these things came out. I was like,
30:28wow, you are so smart. I forget that cuz
30:30we just talk about like Bryce Hall and
30:32pound cake. [laughter] And then when you
30:33say like intellectual stuff like that, I
30:34was like, damn.
30:36You got to one of my moderators. I don't
30:38have a moderator in LA, but I don't know
30:39if they're doing a mod. I'm going to
30:40ask, because I do want you one of my
30:41moderators.
30:41>> I
30:42Literature class was always my favorite.
30:43And like I was Yeah, English was my best
30:45subject. I was really bad at
30:47all the sciences and the maths, but I
30:49was definitely an English and literature
30:51boy.
30:52>> Oh my god, it shows.
30:53>> and uh I always like I loved writing
30:56essays. So I kind of it fell back into
30:57that. I was like, okay, what are the
30:58themes? What are the allegories?
31:00>> wow.
31:01Oh my god, I love this. I think
31:02>> [laughter]
31:03>> yeah.
31:03>> It's like this is the What is the
31:04symbolism of this book? Do we have a
31:06greater one for society? I don't know.
31:08>> Um, no, but yeah, the childhood part,
31:10obviously that's where we start in your
31:12story. And that part really is gaggy cuz
31:15yeah, I mean, it's weird cuz as open as
31:17you are about your life, there are so
31:19many like blank spaces that I didn't
31:21really even contemplate until I was
31:23reading this. And then it really kind of
31:24fills in, you know, all these gaps. And
31:27obviously it was really interesting
31:29because you have such like a good
31:31relationship with everyone in your
31:32family now, but then in the beginning
31:34you talk about how like tumultuous it
31:36was and kind of coming from like an
31:38unstable household. And you've like
31:39referenced it before like jokingly,
31:41>> Mhm.
31:42>> but then to kind of get like the
31:44foundation for who you are like as a
31:45person. And
31:48obviously I feel like that definitely
31:50impacts you as a parent as well. Like
31:52you lacking this kind of stable
31:56household, so now you kind of go out of
31:57your way to like do the complete
31:58opposite, you know?
31:59>> Oh, 1,000% with traditions, all that
32:01stuff like that. Yeah.
32:02>> And how did you feel writing about your
32:05childhood especially now cuz you are
32:07close with your parents? Obviously if
32:08you were like alienated from them, it
32:10would be a lot easier to write about
32:12them, but you see them, you interact
32:13with them all the time. So how difficult
32:15was it to write about this stuff?
32:17>> I think that was I think that honestly
32:19was the hardest for me um cuz my mom and
32:21I have always been close. My mom like
32:23gives me like everything like that, but
32:24obviously
32:26there was stuff in my childhood. And
32:27it's like I with my parents actually
32:29like don't
32:30blame them. Maybe my dad I side eye a
32:32little more, which is crazy cuz I'm
32:33closer than ever with my dad. My dad is
32:35probably in LA the closest right now,
32:36which is like that's why it was so hard
32:38and so much of the book,
32:40especially the beginning, is about my
32:41dad. Actually, throughout, throughout
32:42Hollywood, too, and my dad's in it a
32:43lot. Like,
32:44um
32:45and I every time I would talk about my
32:47dad, write about my dad, like it really
32:49was Alex who pulled that out of me cuz
32:50my original manuscript had nothing about
32:51my dad, nothing about my mom. Like, um
32:53but he was asking me about that and I
32:54was just like like
32:56yes, it's it's
32:58cuz I just I don't like blame them
33:00There's two things. I don't blame them
33:01cuz I it wasn't like they were like
33:02abusive to me. You know what I mean?
33:04Like we had food and we were fed and
33:05they actually like worked really hard to
33:06like make sure we had nice things. So
33:08it's like I I I hate to be that person,
33:10especially when people have So like the
33:11other thing is like comparing. I would
33:12compare. It's like well,
33:14I know like a Tana, like you know, their
33:16her parents neglected, you know, like
33:18not taking her to the dentist and
33:20fights and hitting physical and all
33:22that. Like so it's like God, I was like
33:23I don't want to be that person like
33:24complaining about my childhood when
33:26like, you know, people had it worse. So
33:27it was like it was definitely hard, but
33:28I I thought it was important because
33:31again, like it kind of like maybe set up
33:33the framework of why first of all, like
33:35everything is
33:36whether it's cosplay or whatever,
33:37everything is kind of framed around
33:39movies and TV cuz that's like how I grew
33:40up. That's who like it literally raised
33:42me, movies and television. Like that's
33:43where I learned everything. I talk about
33:44it so much in the book is like movies
33:46that impacted me, television shows,
33:47specifically things that were based in
33:48LA. So I think a lot of times on the
33:49podcast we'll talk about like how I
33:50don't relate to things in New York
33:51because I was only consuming stuff in LA
33:53cuz that's where I wanted to be. So if
33:54there was an LA movie, talk about
33:56Quentin Tarantino, obviously like his
33:57movies all being in LA and
33:59those kind of things I it was either
34:00that or if there was a a young girl
34:03being saved by like an older man,
34:04whether that's like Cape Fear, Taxi
34:06Driver, like those things like shaped me
34:07a lot. So
34:09it might be like how why are you the way
34:11that you are? And it's like probably
34:12because of those movies. And then my mom
34:13and dad, they like were not around. My
34:15mom was working four jobs, but like I
34:17understood it. So that's why I never To
34:18me I respected it. I was like oh, my mom
34:20worked so hard cuz she didn't want us to
34:21have like a bad life. We just never saw
34:23her. So we were just like alone all the
34:24time. And then my dad, I side-eyed a
34:27little more. Sometimes they say once you
34:28become a parent, you you understand your
34:30parents better. And it's like with my
34:31dad, even though we're so close now,
34:33like
34:33I understand it less because obviously
34:36you guys can like read the book and
34:37stuff like that, too. But like my my
34:38dad, depending on who you ask cuz I'm
34:41three when my parents get divorced,
34:42either my mom moved us back to Illinois
34:44and my dad moved back and came back to
34:46California or my dad just stayed in
34:47California, my mom moved to Illinois. So
34:48I'm not really sure like what happened.
34:49Either way, my dad's like not in my life
34:51in Illinois.
34:52So obviously I talk about my sometimes
34:54with my dad. We're still not very open.
34:56Even with this book, I'm like, oh, I
34:57want to talk to him about it, but we're
34:58just not like we're very surface level,
35:00but it's good because he's so good with
35:02my kids. So I'm just like kind of
35:03whatever. But
35:04um like
35:06I think he looks at it as like, you
35:07know, your mom did like the ultimate
35:09betrayal to me. So like what was I
35:10supposed to do? But I'd be like
35:12I mean, Moses could like I mean like
35:15you could do you couldn't do anything
35:17anything that would keep me a street
35:19away from my kids. I'd be Kanye where
35:20I'd be like right next door to you. You
35:22know what I mean? I would be like so the
35:23fact that my dad was like in a
35:23completely different state as a child,
35:26it feels like you abandoned me. You know
35:28what I mean? And and he says it was my
35:30mom obviously that he wanted to get away
35:31from, but I'm like, but ultimately like
35:32we're the ones that suffered. You
35:33weren't around. I thought like why does
35:35my dad not want to be around me? Like
35:36why is he not around? We only saw him
35:38summer and Christmases. Like
35:40and so I think that's something that he
35:41doesn't fully grasp get at all. And um
35:45I don't know how cuz it's like now I
35:46have kids and I'm like there's just
35:48literally nothing like I mean if if I
35:49hated you, I mean we would I I would be
35:51in separate we'd be in the same house. I
35:53don't know. I think there's just there's
35:53no way. I'd be down the street if if I
35:55had to if that's what it had to be. So
35:57um
35:58yeah, it's it's a it's tough, but I I
36:01think that you know, my mom is always
36:04been my closest. I mean she's always
36:05given me like every dime and she's been
36:08really supportive and always thought
36:09like if I thought I wanted to be famous,
36:11she's like, yep, you can do it. Like you
36:12know, she would get me the red plastic
36:13jumpsuit at the the talent show and
36:15stuff. So she was like really
36:17supportive. When I came to LA, she would
36:19send me money and max out her credit
36:20cards. Like my mom really was
36:22supportive. So I think it was like
36:22really hard
36:24to write. Like the only, I guess,
36:27negative impact on my life was just the
36:29her the men that would come in and out.
36:31And my mom's like deeply ashamed of it.
36:32So it's like I don't want to like
36:33embarrass her more. Um it just like
36:36really sets up
36:37getting into sex work and the way I've
36:39used sex and um my low self-worth and
36:42why it's so dependent on men why I was
36:43so male-centered. You know, my mom was
36:45really male-centered growing up. And so
36:47um I think that's like a new
36:48conversation everyone's having now is
36:49the male-centeredness. Like, I didn't
36:50even know that was a good thing when I
36:51was being male-centered my whole life,
36:52but you know, I just lived and died by
36:55if I had a man that was giving me
36:56attention. And like ruined my 20s,
36:58ruined my life really. Not only just
37:00like my body physically and sex and STDs
37:02and all that stuff like that, but
37:03obviously self-worth and also my career.
37:05I talk about it all the time and I
37:05reference it here. It's like I would
37:06just wait around for a man to come
37:09around if that meant canceling jobs, if
37:10it meant whatever. So um
37:13yeah, I think it just
37:15I had to write about those experiences
37:16seeing my mom with like different guys
37:19in order to kind of set up why I thought
37:21I needed
37:22me a man in my life. Obviously the
37:24quintessential daddy issue, my dad just
37:25not being around too is such a
37:27big uh factor. So
37:30all of that's a lot. Uh I talk about
37:32obviously I was sexually assaulted
37:34multiple times as a child um in in in in
37:37school and and multiple times like
37:39different people. And it's like hard for
37:41people to believe. And I remember
37:43telling Alex that too. I was just like I
37:44don't know if I want to write about this
37:45cuz like
37:46I don't need people being like wow, that
37:48happened it happened five different time
37:49five different people were doing that.
37:50And I was like yeah, but actually
37:51probably more if I'm like really trying
37:52to think about people making
37:53inappropriate stuff. I I was just
37:54talking about touching. Like if it's
37:56inappropriate things, I mean way more
37:57actually. So
37:59that was tough. I just didn't want to I
38:01also didn't want to glamorize it. I
38:03think I I talk about this all the time.
38:05Like I would watch movies like Cape Fear
38:07is the one that comes to my mind. It's
38:08Robert De Niro. He's like her acting
38:09teacher. Juliet Lewis, she's like 13. He
38:11puts her thumb in her mouth and I just
38:12thought like oh my god, like I thought
38:13that was so romantic. And I thought
38:14that's like what I wanted and aspired to
38:16be. So
38:17I didn't want to like glamorize it
38:18either. So I did I try not to like go
38:20into
38:21um
38:22detail cuz at the time it wasn't trauma
38:24to me and it was like something that I
38:26thought well I seeked. So I you know, I
38:29don't know.
38:30Um so all of that was a lot. And they
38:32all do they all coincide? I don't know,
38:35but I think it kind of at least shapes
38:38the start of like maybe my borderline,
38:40you know, maybe um the spiraling, that
38:43that kind of stuff, the splitting. All
38:45that came from like a very
38:47early
38:48I think. So that's why I wanted to say
38:49it. But it's tough. And yeah, I think my
38:52my biggest fear is like my parents. I I
38:54don't want to hurt them. My family's
38:55very sensitive, too. My family doesn't
38:57talk about things. We're not like open
38:59communicators. So I wish I could just
39:02have like conversations sometimes. And
39:04it's just um
39:06also their generation, they don't really
39:07like believe in like family therapy and
39:09stuff like that. And it's and it's fine.
39:10And like honestly, we've had great
39:12relationships
39:13without the therapy. Could it be better?
39:15Probably.
39:17But um
39:18but I'm like yeah, it's tough. It's
39:19tough when you're like thankful and
39:20grateful for your parents for like
39:23my dad comes to get me at my Hollywood
39:24apartment and stuff like that. Like
39:25there's so many times where they saved
39:27me. So it's it's hard to write about cuz
39:29you don't want to
39:30you know, don't want to make anyone look
39:32bad.
39:32>> Yeah, I think overall though
39:34in this too, it's like there is such a
39:37grayness when it comes to morality. And
39:39I think we've so like accustomed to I
39:42mean I'm even guilty of it. Like someone
39:44does bad thing equals bad person,
39:46whereas like there's so much more
39:48complexity as like you know, people do
39:50try their best and obviously have
39:52shortcomings. And I think everyone kind
39:54of tries to do the best with the
39:55information that they have at the time.
39:58And especially when we're growing up,
40:00like there's just not as much as far as
40:03like
40:04I feel like once like the internet
40:06became like a big thing too, like we
40:08have more access to information, so then
40:10there's more understanding of how we
40:12raise our kids and what we show our
40:15kids, what we talk about around our kids
40:17affects them growing up. So I feel like
40:20it is one of those things where it's
40:21like, you know, you're not trying to
40:23like say your parents are a villain or
40:25something. It's just a matter of fact
40:27like their shortcomings despite their
40:29best effort to raise you did in fact
40:32alter the way that you see yourself just
40:33because that's that's what it is. That's
40:35the psychology of being a child and
40:37absorbing so much emotion and
40:39information from your parents and in the
40:42household that you're in. It's
40:44that's why like I would again, that's
40:45why I think of like working in reverse
40:47with like the strings and going
40:48backwards because then it kind of just
40:50adds so much clarity as to like who you
40:52are to a person and makes everything
40:53else kind of
40:55gives it so much context and that's why
40:57I like I got so much more of
40:59understanding of how you know all these
41:01different Trish
41:03these Trish big Trish events occurred
41:05and I'm like I see it I see it yeah.
41:07>> Yeah and I think that's the whole point
41:08of a memoir right is like you want
41:09people to have like lessons and
41:10takeaways so it's like if you're a
41:12parent whether you're my age or an older
41:13parent or a younger parent it's like how
41:15maybe not to be because my dad really
41:17in his mind we still we'll talk about it
41:19once in a while like he really thinks
41:20that that was his only option was to
41:22like leave the state completely cuz my
41:24mom did an horrible thing to him and
41:25stuff like that and I was like but you
41:26don't understand like how that like
41:27affected me and it's like and also like
41:30I always I feel like that's also like
41:32I I'm very much like I hate it like step
41:34family this and I I think divorce is
41:36fine like I think if you need to divorce
41:38like I think people always say that
41:39they'd rather
41:40uh I know people that are have married
41:41parents like oh I wish my parents were
41:43on divorce cuz it's like so toxic in the
41:44house so I'm not like against divorce
41:46parents if you need to obviously the
41:47stuff that happened between my dad and
41:48my mom I you have to divorce like you
41:50have to divorce so it was more just like
41:53the kitchen and suffer you know what I
41:55mean it's like I I I suffered whether my
41:57dad thinks that or not like he thinks he
41:59was the one suffering and I think he
42:01just can't fully grasp like why it felt
42:03like he abandoned me even if he explains
42:04he abandoned my mom I'm like well I felt
42:06like me but I just hope it was more of
42:07like an experience cuz I learned from it
42:10I was like god if there's one thing I'm
42:11going to do is be there for my kids like
42:14every single day so they don't feel like
42:16why don't they have me in their life you
42:18know what I mean cuz they they do
42:19nothing wrong kids kids never do
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44:13>> And it's interesting too because like
44:15obviously on YouTube and then when even
44:17when I go back and watch like your old
44:19YouTube videos, there is the the Trish
44:21who is very girly pop like cozy night in
44:24on Halloween routine like get ready with
44:27me to do my own hair, shopping at
44:29Victoria's Secret Pink, and then which
44:32is kind of like the same you now, but
44:35there is still that switch of like the
44:37hypersexualized
44:39like and it it's weird cuz it's also
44:40like at the same time. And even like
44:42when I would go back like last year I
44:43would go back and watch a lot of your
44:44old videos and it's like the switch it
44:47really is this weird switch of like
44:48you're doing this like normal wholesome
44:50like come with me to walk around my
44:51neighborhood and then it's like
44:52something super sexual like the next
44:54video.
44:55>> Yeah.
44:56>> God, and
44:57were you aware of that, like when you
44:59were on YouTube,
45:01were you just getting rewarded for the
45:03highly sexualized contents or like and
45:05it's just that instant gratification of
45:07the numbers that you're like, oh, I need
45:08to like lean into this even more?
45:10>> Yeah, I think I talk about it in the
45:12I talk about it with like the dogs have
45:14brain or the fast talking one. I talk
45:15about yeah, where
45:17I think I just more than views or money,
45:19I was just like, wow, like guys think
45:21I'm attractive because like never in
45:22school no one thought I was attractive.
45:24I never went on dates, never had a
45:25boyfriend, never was, you know, went to
45:28a dance with anybody. So I think it was
45:30just like, wow, I cuz you always heard
45:32people call like Pamela Anderson a bimbo
45:34and like her big fake tits and stuff. So
45:35I was like, obviously I talk about like
45:37Howard Stern, Jerry Springer a lot too.
45:38It's like those that was like the goal
45:40like back in the
45:41early 2000s was to be called a bimbo and
45:43a dumb dumb [ __ ] which is so crazy.
45:46It's so crazy. But like I thought that
45:48was like the highest form of compliment.
45:49I was like, oh, that's everything. So I
45:51don't think it was ever me. I especially
45:54now, who I am now and like
45:56I look back and I'm like I it is I don't
45:59know. And I think now too I'm such a
46:00prude in so many ways, but I think I
46:01always [laughter] was. I am. Oh my god,
46:03a girl show cleavage. I'm like, I had
46:05cleavage the other day. Where was I?
46:08Oh,
46:09the Oh yeah, my mom loves Phil. Had a
46:12feed Phil.
46:13What's his name
46:14Somebody feed Phil. He's he's the guy
46:16who created everybody
46:18everybody loves Raymond. I did his he
46:19has like a new one how to make a
46:20sandwich and I did it and I I had some
46:22like boobs. I was like, oh my god, I
46:23feel so I think oh, I went to Malibu's
46:25dance class, ballet. I had to take her.
46:26It wasn't like that crazy, but I did
46:28have cleavage which I never have and I
46:29was just like, oh my god, like I feel so
46:31I don't think I was ever I don't think I
46:33ever was truly a sexual person. Like
46:36I I think it was really like again a
46:38character where I just I never felt
46:40comfortable with sex, my body,
46:42none of that. So I think that was
46:43definitely character. I thought that's
46:45like how I was going to be famous. I
46:46talked about like the Mitt Romney video
46:48which all things come back to Hassan cuz
46:50I remember his uncle on the Young Turks.
46:52Like he called me a bimbo and I was
46:54like, wow.
46:55>> Thank you.
46:55>> Yeah, and he was like this like big I
46:57don't know still around. He was like
46:58this big journalist and he was like I
46:59just remember being like Fox News. I
47:01remember this guy named Jesse Waters,
47:02who's still there. He like reached out
47:03to me after the the Mitt Romney video
47:05cuz of my And I remember we went to
47:07dinner and he's like, yeah, I want you
47:09to be on like my show. And then when we
47:10went to dinner with him and then I think
47:11I was like, I don't think he wanted me
47:11to be on his show. I don't think it was
47:13like that either. I don't think it was
47:14like a perverted thing. It just like was
47:15a weird thing. Anyways, it was all
47:16around that time and I was getting all
47:17this attention from again older males. I
47:19think I was on Larry King show. Like I
47:21was on all these shows and I just
47:22thought, oh, this is my ticket like just
47:24being a dumb blonde cuz I just looked up
47:26to those girls. Like I thought like
47:27Pamela Anderson, Jenna Jameson, like I
47:29thought that was like my route to go.
47:32>> The dichotomy to like every YouTube like
47:34character cuz like I said, there were
47:35some where that are like so wholesome
47:37lifestyle girl and then there's some
47:39where especially when you are in friend
47:41groups cuz not only David, obviously
47:43that was kind of the worst one of the
47:45hypersexualized, but even like a Shane
47:47or even when you were in like just any
47:49other collab video, like you would kind
47:50of lean into like the the sexualized
47:52bimbo character. And again looking back
47:56now, it's so like it's just so like oh,
47:58like it's almost like a
48:00[laughter] It's like seeing my sister be
48:01like
48:02cuz you're so opposite now, but it is it
48:05is so like jar like
48:07so stark difference.
48:09>> the Shane ones is a good example of that
48:10too. Like he obviously did like really
48:11sexual con but yeah, I was like really
48:14sexualized, but again like I just I
48:16think I just like I really just wanted
48:18people to like me and guys specifically
48:20to like me. So I was just like whatever
48:22it is, if I'm going to be the dumb like
48:23[ __ ] like that I thought that would be
48:25like the biggest compliment. I did an
48:27interview with interview. I think it's
48:29like out now that this comes out with
48:30Mori Povitch. He interviewed me for
48:32interview. And obviously I talked about
48:33Jerry Springer and the thing and stuff.
48:35But anyways,
48:36it's so funny cuz I watched it was like
48:37Chris Hansen. Oh, Chris Hansen's wife
48:39reached out too. Should I do an
48:40interview Chris Hansen? I was like
48:41maybe. I love him. I don't know if
48:42anyone else does, but like Mori Povitch,
48:43Jerry Springer, those are like
48:45the three guys that were definitely like
48:46in the media, whatever. And Mori's was
48:49famous for the DNA test like who's the
48:51father.
48:52Mhm. Yeah, so it'd be young girls. And
48:54he was like, oh, you know, I can I do
48:56understand where you're coming from cuz
48:56obviously I talked talk in the book like
48:57wanting to get pregnant by basically
48:59anyone. I just like wanted a kid because
49:00I thought,
49:01I a kid would love me back and like
49:03that's the only reason I wanted to get
49:04pregnant for so long like when I was
49:05young. And Maari was so sweet. He was
49:07just like, you know what? I understood
49:08that too because like girls would come
49:10on and it would be the same thing.
49:10They'd come from like broken homes and
49:12they thought a baby would like love them
49:13or fix them. So he like understood what
49:14I was saying. what's so [ __ ] up about
49:16that is because I was consuming Maari as
49:17well.
49:18I remember thinking those girls were
49:21like goals. I was like, wow, you there's
49:23two men that could potentially be the
49:24father. I was like, wow, two two two
49:27guys want to have sex with you? That's
49:28cool. Like I really did think that and I
49:29was obviously the age of those girls
49:31like being 13 and stuff like that. So I
49:33yeah, the way you like consumed things
49:35and stuff at an early age it was like
49:36cuz yeah.
49:37>> my school in summer school we would um
49:40it was me and like two other girls in my
49:41grade. My parents were working so they
49:43just put me in like my
49:44like middle schools like
49:46summer school program.
49:48And we had nothing to do so we would
49:50like go and get like the you know the TV
49:51there you play like you know they played
49:53the VHS tapes or whatever. Yes.
49:55>> yes, uh-huh.
49:55>> We would roll it in the hall and we
49:58would be in the back corner and we would
49:59we had basic cable so we watched Maari.
50:02Yeah.
50:02>> during summer school?
50:03>> During summer [laughter] school and we
50:04would like be having a key but again
50:06never aspirationally.
50:07>> Really? That is so crazy cuz I just
50:09thought wow, that is goals. Like you
50:11don't know who and two men could be your
50:13father. Now you have them in your life
50:14forever and that's also the way I viewed
50:15having a baby as like, oh, if I have
50:17this baby like this guy will have to be
50:19in my life forever. Like I really
50:20thought it and it was never a trapping
50:21as you know from the book nobody had
50:22money. It was never like that I guess in
50:23a way I suppose but also they knew what
50:25they were doing as well and they were
50:26much older than me but it was like I
50:28thought well they'll always always have
50:30a man in my life you know if if I have a
50:31baby. Plus I I
50:32>> tied to them. Yeah.
50:33>> I thought that was kind of the goals.
50:35>> something that will be forced to love
50:37you.
50:37>> Yeah, forced to love yeah, I really it
50:39really is crazy which PSA now like do
50:42not have kids. Yeah, obviously we've
50:44seen it go the other way. Some men just
50:46straight up and leave. Uh
50:48that baby oh my god
50:49I say this all the time like I'm if
50:51there's one thing I'm so thankful for is
50:52that I never did get pregnant with
50:53anyone else and it was like Moses cuz if
50:54it was with anyone else truly I don't
50:56say this like lightly at all I don't
50:58think I would have been able to handle
50:59it. I think for sure I would have given
51:01my child up for adoption again like not
51:02that as a bad thing for adoption, but I
51:03I don't think I would have been able to
51:05go past a year. At any other time, um
51:08probably even now, if I didn't have
51:10Moses, like that first year with Malibu,
51:11I don't I don't know. Like probably my
51:13mom move in, but even then it's like are
51:14we going to be able to take I don't
51:15know. I probably would have
51:17uh tried for a while, like a year, I
51:19probably would have been so out of my
51:20mind cuz that postpartum and also just
51:22being so unwell in my 20s that baby or
51:24the baby would have been
51:26then that would have been really sad
51:27too. So thank God it like didn't work
51:29out.
51:30[snorts] I always recommend no matter
51:31what age you are to be uh in therapy, to
51:33be I have a good mental stability
51:35because kids are so hard.
51:38Even being mentally stable, but when
51:40you're mentally unwell, the kids will
51:42suffer. So kids are no joke. Kids are no
51:44joke. Think very And think about who you
51:47have kids with. We've seen that too,
51:48like on TikTok. Anyways, this is going
51:50to be on my bug, but [laughter] think
51:51about who you have kids with because
51:52there are some loser ass dads out there
51:54too that really just be doing the
51:56minimum. I got really lucky with someone
51:57who literally is like super dad, but
51:58like
51:59oh my God, oh my God, I can't even think
52:01if I had kids with anybody I thought I
52:02wanted to have kids with, that would be
52:03actually
52:05horrible. So thank God I didn't, but
52:07timing I do trust in timing all the
52:09time.
52:09>> And do you think like your relationship
52:10with like wanting attention and just
52:13like
52:14specifically for men, is that why you
52:15think
52:16when you talk about Shane, you talk
52:17about instantly like having a crush on
52:19him and stuff? Is it just because it was
52:20a man who was like give spending time
52:22with you?
52:23>> yeah. Oh, Shane to me was like my
52:25boyfriend. Like I was like he's cheating
52:27on Lisa with me cuz we would be together
52:28all the time and he was technically like
52:30still Lisa with Lisa. Lisa is the whole
52:31reason I met Shane. Lisa did it. I did a
52:32collab with her. She was my first
52:33collaborator ever. Shout out Lisa Bug.
52:34We still talk. She has a child Malibu's
52:36age and so cute. She just got hand foot
52:38mouth disease. That's like girl, we had
52:39that early in the summer too. Like I I
52:40love her. I really do love her. Um and
52:42she was like the first person to ask me
52:43to collaborate and I thought that was so
52:44cool cuz she was like obviously very
52:46famous for being like Shane's
52:47girlfriend. She was around for a while
52:48too, but I thought that was so cool. So
52:49obviously that's how Shane found me and
52:52then um
52:54reconnected. We had we were together for
52:55a casting, but then like years later
52:57through Lisa and then we just started
52:58hanging out all the time and we were
52:59hanging out on like the weekends and
53:02like staying up to like 7:00 in the
53:03morning and then he'd like go home but
53:04then come back at like 3:00 p.m. the
53:06next day and go to El Torito and get
53:07nachos and chicken, all that stuff like
53:09that. So I was like, damn, like I
53:10thought we were like
53:11And I remember him being like
53:13I would tell Gigi gorgeous cuz she'd
53:15come over and I'd be like, oh my god, I
53:16have a crush on Shane. And they would be
53:18like so giggly. And then Shane would
53:19call me like later and be like, hey,
53:20were you guys like laughing at me? Cuz I
53:21heard you guys giggling. And then I'd be
53:22like
53:23>> is like high school
53:23>> It's so high school. Like we are all all
53:26not Gigi. She's very well adjusted, but
53:27me and Shane definitely had some trauma.
53:29We got stunted at a certain age cuz I
53:31would be he'd call me like, were you
53:33guys like laughing at me? Were you
53:34making fun of me? And then I was like,
53:35no, like I think I kind of like you. I
53:37remember like telling him all that. I
53:38don't know. It was so crazy. And then
53:40he's like, okay, well, I'm just like,
53:41it's also CONFUSING RIGHT NOW.
53:43IT WAS I know. It's like and we were
53:44like 23. We were like not like that
53:46young, but I was like, okay. And so
53:49yeah, it was very But yeah, I I yeah, I
53:52thought we were like I thought I was
53:53like in love. Like I thought any guy any
53:55guy that gave me attention, I was like,
53:56wow, he loves me so much. Like it was
53:59really weird. I and also because Shane
54:01posted me too. He was like the first guy
54:02to ever like post me and like, you know,
54:05I never had
54:06a boyfriend when I met him like like a
54:08real one that like posted me and stuff
54:10like that.
54:11So I really thought
54:13he was the real deal. I thought we were
54:15meant to be.
54:16>> And I'm I'm going to be skipping a
54:17little bit forward, but on that note,
54:19boyfriend who posted you, the Jason Nash
54:21saga.
54:23It's again so weird cuz like you just
54:25never talk about him even like off
54:27camera, you know? So it is
54:28>> Yeah, this is this is one obviously I
54:30talk about like David and stuff like
54:31that. And like yeah, I this is yeah.
54:33Yeah, this is my one and done as I've
54:35been saying.
54:37And especially here. But I will say to
54:38everyone's credit, the press tour I've
54:40been on, no one's asked, which is
54:42fair enough. And honestly, love it.
54:43Obviously when he was doing the TikTok
54:46just like I was just so happy
54:48to be done
54:49with that chapter. And I was like
54:51weirdly obsessed and it was very
54:53embarrassing this whole thing. So
54:56but that was the most
54:58traumatic
54:59like
55:01YouTube time I think I was cuz that one
55:03did feel real to me. And then for that
55:05one to be pulled under off of me, I was
55:07oh damn, that was all not really there.
55:09>> And interesting too, because another one
55:12where he
55:14right he was with Andrea Russell, right?
55:15When he was like he talked about when he
55:17dated you and then you were like, ew,
55:18this guy. And then eventually
55:20>> [laughter]
55:21>> The way he the way he would enter uh
55:22>> kind of a recurring theme which we'll
55:24get to, but um
55:26when did that shift happen from like
55:27being like ugh to like oh is it just
55:30because it was someone publicly showing
55:33you affection or
55:34>> Well, cuz he logged the first date so it
55:36was like he loves me.
55:37>> [laughter]
55:37>> It's like on the record, yeah.
55:38>> I think it was like kissing in the
55:39thumbnail. I was like this is this is
55:40the soulmate. Like it was like he gave
55:42me attention and like yeah, I didn't
55:44know Andrea did bring up like oh you
55:45should date Trisha and then everyone
55:47started tagging me. Um and I I hadn't
55:50dated anyone since like Sean before that
55:52so yeah, but I remember him from like
55:55the Vine and you know, he's you know,
55:57objectively just like not like
55:59attractive obviously with like the bags
56:00and stuff, but not even like to be mean.
56:01I just was like oh this is not like an
56:02attractive person. Um and so I was like
56:04oh no, but
56:06yeah, and then we just met to do the
56:07vlog and I was like well,
56:08he logged me, he loves me and so
56:10obviously with anybody it's just like
56:11yeah, I just right away sex with
56:13everybody right away and stuff so it's
56:14just like kind of that and then we just
56:16didn't see each other for a while, but
56:18he would text me to do videos like after
56:20Big Brother and like throughout that
56:22time so
56:23I was like oh this guy likes me like I
56:25you know,
56:26sure. Like and then but then I became
56:28obsessed as I do like I as soon as
56:30someone gives me attention I'm just like
56:31and publicly claiming me, right? Um and
56:34obviously having sex as well like with
56:36Sean I clearly talk about what we didn't
56:38have sex, but I you know, I thought it
56:39was taking it slow. I was like oh he's
56:40taking it slow or whatever obviously
56:42gay, but that not obviously like I guess
56:44everyone else was obviously. Yeah.
56:46[laughter]
56:46Did not not to me I guess, but um so so
56:50it was just such a different
56:51relationship and it's like I don't know.
56:52It was like the first it felt like my
56:54first real relationship, but like it
56:56wasn't. That's why I always will say
56:57Moses my first relationship cuz it just
56:59it just wasn't like
57:00I took it as very real and it just what
57:03was what was real, but nothing was real
57:05about it. Everything was just uh for
57:06video like for filmed. I remember even
57:08talking about engagement and I remember
57:10him telling now like I guess you should
57:11help me,
57:12you know, plan that for the video. And
57:14like I think it would have maybe even a
57:16baby I think would have been for a video
57:18for him because obviously I really was
57:21trying with him and like he obviously
57:23knew. I mean he obviously was just like
57:25participating and knew I was on birth
57:27control and stuff like that. So it was
57:27like
57:28I think would that's what scares me is
57:30like that one truly was all for content.
57:33Um from our early trips to Maui when
57:35David came and stuff like that I like it
57:37all was for content and like
57:40um I I just really didn't know at the
57:42time. I really thought like it was it
57:44was love. I don't know. It was really
57:46I don't know. I think it's just like
57:47that part was really sad to me.
57:49>> totally get it too. And again that's why
57:50I say it's like there's so it's so the
57:52book is like full of paradoxes and stuff
57:54because
57:55in your other relationships that you
57:56talked about previously like when you're
57:58living in Hollywood and when you are
57:59like the other woman you're the mistress
58:00you're the secret and so many you're
58:02like the one that they
58:04can sometimes kind of sort of make time
58:06for.
58:07And then to get the affirmation of like
58:10someone like you said claiming you
58:11publicly almost like
58:14putting you as like the billboard
58:16almost. You know like you're the
58:16thumbnail. Like that is like it doesn't
58:18get any more official than that. That's
58:20like the Facebook status. You know like
58:21in a relationship with yes.
58:23>> it was it was it was right away
58:25Instagram everything. I was like oh my
58:26god it's official I am.
58:27>> And then of course like again in
58:28retrospect with like the BPD like the
58:30way that you processed these things and
58:33like you take everything in absolutes
58:34like everything is black and white. So
58:36the fact that here comes someone like so
58:38willing to publicly be with you that
58:41must be like
58:42hallelujah this is the one. Like
58:44>> and talking about like I mean that's why
58:46I mean I would I would talk about my
58:48kids' names. I'd be like Maui Elvis
58:49although he'd be like those are stupid
58:50names. And then even the Disney wedding
58:52the reason we me and Moses didn't have a
58:53Disney wedding is because I remember
58:54there was a a vlog on his called like
58:56planning our $2 million Disney wedding
58:57and it was like a whole thing where we
58:58were just talking about a Disney
58:59wedding. He hated Disney. If you look at
59:01our Disney World videos like could not
59:02stand there to be with me. Hated Disney.
59:04Makes fun of Disney adults all that
59:05stuff like that. So it's like
59:06it was always my idea that I was sharing
59:08and obviously he's like vlogging and
59:09putting in a title and I was like oh my
59:10god this is like real. And then
59:11obviously then when I meet Moses and
59:13it's like my dream one, I'm like I don't
59:13want to do that cuz I already talked
59:14about with this person, but it's like it
59:15was always mine, but it just felt um I
59:18guess like validating to have someone
59:20who would even think about wanting to
59:21marry me. So I thought, yeah, I was
59:23really
59:24And then being around his friends
59:25obviously I was like, oh my god, I'm
59:26around his cuz I wasn't around anyone
59:27else's friends and I was like, wow, I'm
59:28around his friends. Like they all like
59:30love me. So I think when that all came
59:32crashing down that one really
59:34Woo, that one really blindsided me cuz I
59:36really thought we were like loved till
59:37the end. And he would tell me that like
59:38off camera too to be like even without
59:40He's like just apologize to David. Like
59:41you know, we'll make it work out. Even
59:43up until like May of that year too, even
59:44after like our breakup, he's just like
59:46if you just apologize, he was trying to
59:47find ways to like get me back in there.
59:48So I was like, okay, he loves me. He's
59:49fighting for me, but
59:51it was obviously
59:53um
59:54yeah, it was obviously not real, which
59:55is fine. And I was acting erratically,
59:58but I wasn't on any For the record, no
1:00:00drugs or drinking when I was with Jason.
1:00:03The house incident happened May after we
1:00:06broke up. We broke up February. This was
1:00:07like May of that year. So that obviously
1:00:09was when I was with like Aaron Carter
1:00:11and stuff and I was on
1:00:12drugs. But while the whole time I was
1:00:13with Jason, never
1:00:15um never drank or did drugs. Sometimes,
1:00:17I guess twice I remember them doing
1:00:19drugs and I think I probably did some,
1:00:20but not like I wasn't doing pills. I
1:00:22wasn't
1:00:23And I would drink I guess with them if
1:00:24they were going to, but I was never like
1:00:26how I was in my other ones where I'm
1:00:27just like in my kitchen doing it by
1:00:28myself or anything like that. So
1:00:29>> you think was it
1:00:31those like erratic moments with them
1:00:32just a result of like just the mental
1:00:34illness and also like you're a part of
1:00:36this like emotional roller coaster,
1:00:38unsure of like
1:00:39again, you're thinking absolute. You're
1:00:40thinking he's the one, but then it's
1:00:42like one step forward, three steps back.
1:00:44Like and that's just like every day like
1:00:45you don't know what version you're kind
1:00:47of
1:00:47>> I think like a lot like front of me is
1:00:49just like I think like um
1:00:51that's the character, right? It's like I
1:00:52was supposed to be crazy. Like David
1:00:54would always laugh. Like you know, the
1:00:55one where I'm like taking off my clothes
1:00:57and stuff like that. Like I'm like
1:00:58that's the character. There's no
1:00:59boundaries. Like you can just push it as
1:01:01far as possible cuz obviously David and
1:01:03all them were doing that too. So like
1:01:04that's how I understood that to be. And
1:01:06obviously yes, mixed with borderline
1:01:08like I'm going to I I can I can be the
1:01:10crazy and obviously push obviously the
1:01:12me taking off my clothes in David's
1:01:13house was a result It was the first time
1:01:15they brought up the Tana threesome. That
1:01:16was months before the explosive video,
1:01:19but I remember that was brought up and I
1:01:20was like, what if I just take my clothes
1:01:21off in front of David? And then that's
1:01:22when I did that. So I mean
1:01:24the crazy was activated for sure. Um I
1:01:26definitely was never in like therapy or
1:01:27anything at the time. So I But because
1:01:30of the reward of like people being like
1:01:32I'm the thumbnail, I'm the I was like,
1:01:33oh, that's what they want. Um which is
1:01:36with frenemies too. I was like, that's
1:01:38what people want. They want me walking
1:01:40off, you know? So that third one I of
1:01:42frenemies coming ahead I was just like,
1:01:43yeah, that was
1:01:44um
1:01:45to me it's like no boundaries both of
1:01:46them, you know? Like which I loved at
1:01:48the time. I was like, wow, we have no
1:01:49boundaries here. We're going to just do
1:01:50and say whatever to each other
1:01:51obviously.
1:01:53[gasps]
1:01:54With with the Jason situation it's
1:01:56different because I do watch clips now.
1:01:58I see them I see you guys on TikTok
1:01:59editing these clips, but
1:02:01it's crazy cuz like it's giving Kristen
1:02:03Bell, Dax Shepard.
1:02:04>> You beat me to it. It's like the girl
1:02:06husband who hates his wife, Tisia.
1:02:08>> [laughter]
1:02:08>> Oh, he's flirting with me. Oh my god.
1:02:10Like I'd be giggling when he's like, I'd
1:02:12love to see the next next sad piece of
1:02:13[ __ ] after me that puts up with this
1:02:15crap. Like I was like giggling like I
1:02:17thought he was being like flirty and
1:02:18funny and I was like, oh my god, there's
1:02:20like
1:02:21hatred. Like he hates me in these clips
1:02:23and I was like
1:02:24oh my god, like calling me like [ __ ]
1:02:26and like all the men that were there
1:02:27like all this crazy stuff. I was like
1:02:29damn. And so yeah, it is giving that
1:02:31exact same. I guess that's why I can
1:02:33like sense it now more in other people
1:02:34too. It's like
1:02:35or at least the blindness to it.
1:02:37Everybody I remember the Disney World
1:02:38vlogs everyone's like, he hates you.
1:02:39Like he hates And I was like, no.
1:02:42Um yeah, it's yeah. That one and I think
1:02:44that's why I go
1:02:45I wouldn't say hardest on him in the
1:02:46book, but I I have the least amount of
1:02:48apologies slash uh remorse in that
1:02:50relationship cuz um it was
1:02:53it was it was a very uh
1:02:56split both ways between David and Jason
1:02:58being uh mutually
1:03:00aggressive and abusive and all that kind
1:03:02of stuff too. You want to hire me, your
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1:04:01>> And um I remember what kind of stood out
1:04:04to me. Again, I watched it all happen in
1:04:06real time, so like I was familiar with
1:04:07it, but I guess specifically when you
1:04:10try to set the boundary of like, you
1:04:11know, no three some Tana jokes and then
1:04:13it happens once and then again. And
1:04:16three three and then you like confront
1:04:18them about it and then you like
1:04:19literally quote the text message from
1:04:21Natalie. David, you said David and Jason
1:04:23ignored it and then Natalie just said,
1:04:24Oh, sorry. And just like the lack of
1:04:27like empathy or understanding at all,
1:04:30it's like again, you kind of see the
1:04:31string
1:04:32connection of like, you know, if you've
1:04:35lacked respect for yourself in a lot of
1:04:37these situations, so then here you are
1:04:38like the moment where like you're
1:04:39putting your foot down trying to demand
1:04:40respect and then because people perceive
1:04:44you to be like, Oh, she's just the crazy
1:04:46sex addict girl, like whatever, like
1:04:48they have no respect for you and then
1:04:49it's like it's again in retrospect
1:04:52seeing that like that character almost
1:04:53like catch up with you, you know, it's
1:04:55like you've defiled yourself so much so
1:04:57then here you are asking for just a
1:04:59little bit of recognition and they just
1:05:01like will not give it to you because
1:05:02that's just who they see you as, you
1:05:04know.
1:05:04>> 1,000% and you know what like and that
1:05:07was the second time that week. So the
1:05:08first one was the Tana on the couch in
1:05:10David's room and they're like, okay,
1:05:12like it won't happen again and then they
1:05:13>> one where you pretended to sleep and
1:05:15then
1:05:15>> I pretended to sleep and then that same
1:05:16Friday the vlog comes out with Madison
1:05:17Beer and Tana and Jason in the back of
1:05:19the Tesla and they're doing it again.
1:05:20And they just all ignore me, and I was
1:05:22like, absolutely and then
1:05:24now I'm like, oops, sorry, or whatever.
1:05:25And then, guess what? They all ignore
1:05:26me, they all this, and I waited hours. I
1:05:28waited hours from them texting me back
1:05:29the minute I put out exposing David
1:05:31Dobrik. Like, I get Jason calling me,
1:05:33I'll pick you up. Like, where are you?
1:05:34I'm going to come get you. And then
1:05:35Jason comes and he gets me and then
1:05:37talks me down, like just delete the
1:05:38video, like apologize, all this stuff
1:05:39like that. And then he thought he thinks
1:05:41everything is going to be okay. Then
1:05:42obviously me and Jason make a video the
1:05:44next day, and then David's pissed at
1:05:45that. And then Jason's like, we're
1:05:46breaking up, don't ever call me again.
1:05:47Like blocked or whatever. So it was like
1:05:48it was a series of things, but yeah, I
1:05:51was like the minute I you you think I'm
1:05:53crazy, like I'm going to give you like
1:05:54crazy. And then I made the the exposing
1:05:55David Dobrik video, which I like kind of
1:05:57still stand by and I took down only
1:05:58because Jason was like, we can be
1:05:59together, just take it down. And I was
1:06:00like, okay. Um and yeah, I mean I stand
1:06:04by everything I said in that video, too.
1:06:05And that's why I I wrote a lot of that
1:06:07stuff in the book, like the stuff that I
1:06:08talked about David is in the book cuz
1:06:09everything is factual as documented by
1:06:11David Dobrik himself. So I yeah, I I did
1:06:15not like that, especially like Natalie
1:06:17and all that stuff like that. And
1:06:19yeah, to that point, it's like the only
1:06:20time people ever listen to me is like
1:06:22when I made a crazy expose video. So
1:06:25that was my MO from there. I was like,
1:06:26well, the only way I'm going to get
1:06:27respect is by making expose video. Like
1:06:28I as I I was going to keep doing it.
1:06:30Obviously that one didn't do as well for
1:06:32me as they did in the past cuz David had
1:06:33such a hardcore fan base. And so my 2019
1:06:36was miserable because his fans just hate
1:06:38on me. I mean Jeff Wittek was here
1:06:39talking about how they would make fun of
1:06:40my tours and stuff cuz I wouldn't be
1:06:42selling you know, I sold like 50 tickets
1:06:43or whatever like and [snorts] they would
1:06:44just make fun of me, which like loser
1:06:46behavior, you're such losers. But um
1:06:49but I was like, if that's the only way
1:06:51people are going to like listen to me is
1:06:52by being scared of me or me making
1:06:53videos, that's what I did all of 2019.
1:06:55It's just But it just made me look more
1:06:56unhinged, which is
1:06:58another life lesson is like
1:07:00yeah, sometimes it's like
1:07:02sometimes there's so much power in
1:07:03silence. And um
1:07:06obviously now I'm promoting a memoir
1:07:07where I'm talking about everything, but
1:07:08[laughter]
1:07:09you know, there is a lot of power in it.
1:07:11I think even with us not talking about
1:07:13and like I I don't want to continue
1:07:14talking about obviously like Ethan and
1:07:15stuff like that. Like that is I felt
1:07:17really good for my own self not talking
1:07:18about it, but also I think a lot of
1:07:20people
1:07:21um
1:07:22can respect a lot more when you don't.
1:07:23Obviously I also wanted to stand up for
1:07:25myself and like talk about when we did
1:07:26talk about Ethan and stuff, I wanted to
1:07:27say what I had to say, but um
1:07:30ultimately there's so much power in in
1:07:33staying silent. And um
1:07:36yeah, did I need to do the exposing
1:07:37David Dobrik video? Maybe not, but I
1:07:41don't know if I I it probably would have
1:07:42ended worse and who knows what would
1:07:44have happened if I would have continued
1:07:45in that group and with Jason and stuff.
1:07:47Like it probably would have ended
1:07:49even worse. So in a way I needed to burn
1:07:51that bridge cuz I would have never been
1:07:54fully blocked if it wasn't for that, you
1:07:56know, at least from the group.
1:07:58>> Yeah, and I think too
1:08:00like you were very perceptive,
1:08:02intuitive, or maybe just the
1:08:04it really didn't take I guess much
1:08:06intuition to see, especially when I
1:08:07think of like you know giving the girls
1:08:09underage girls alcohol for the Dirty Dom
1:08:11bit and stuff. Like it didn't take much
1:08:12into like that's just common sense, you
1:08:14know, but you were the only one that had
1:08:15it in in the group. Yeah.
1:08:17>> It's so crazy and then when all that
1:08:18came out and I think I said that in the
1:08:19even the exposed video and stuff like
1:08:20that like I mean we left for just also
1:08:22for the record for that like when that
1:08:23was happening like I remember and they
1:08:25were under the legal drinking age. They
1:08:26were like 19 but they were like under
1:08:28it. Like so I was like we left as soon
1:08:29as he wanted like Jason to buy that
1:08:31alcohol I was like
1:08:33I was like we need to leave, you know.
1:08:34So I
1:08:35yeah, it's
1:08:37it's crazy people didn't have that
1:08:38common sense. Obviously they did a lot
1:08:39of like stupid things. Like where was
1:08:41their HR? Like David was supposedly like
1:08:42this big company. Like I just don't
1:08:43understand how he got away with so much.
1:08:46I mean I don't I really don't see him.
1:08:48I'm not on Snapchat so I don't know what
1:08:49he's doing over there, but it seems like
1:08:50he's like toned it down. He is like 30
1:08:52now so I'm assuming he would tone it
1:08:54down, but
1:08:55he was doing awful things and yeah, I
1:08:57think maybe like someone seriously going
1:08:58to get hurt. Everyone's like she's a
1:08:59prophet. I was like no, people were
1:09:00already getting hurt. Like Nick and Tony
1:09:01and was like flying off of the
1:09:02motorcycle. Jason was always bleeding
1:09:05and doing weird [ __ ] I remember even
1:09:06with the kissing the set thing I
1:09:07remember being like I'm not comfortable
1:09:08with it and he's like well then we're
1:09:09breaking up if you're not comfortable
1:09:10with it. Like I just remember and I just
1:09:12wanted to be so badly in that group and
1:09:14I really was just going along with
1:09:16everything I talk about. They wanted me
1:09:17to drink pee and then the minute I did
1:09:19it they they're like oh, it's like too
1:09:20disgusting for the blog and I was like
1:09:22what the Like it was such a mind so like
1:09:24I guess [snorts]
1:09:25to go back to it, did I have to make
1:09:26that video about him? Maybe. Like maybe
1:09:28I had to do that, otherwise I would have
1:09:29just been subjecting myself to more and
1:09:32all that stuff like that. So I'm I'm
1:09:33like thank god thank god like I'm out of
1:09:35that era, but
1:09:37it was awful. Oh my god. And I mentioned
1:09:39the book too. I think David really
1:09:40changed when him and Liza broke up cuz
1:09:42when I first met David, he was really
1:09:43like sweet and like funny and like
1:09:45really happy. We'd go to like
1:09:47um
1:09:48I forgot what that place is called, like
1:09:49a Mexican restaurant in Studio City.
1:09:50Anyways, it was um
1:09:52like Mercado or something. I don't know.
1:09:53It was like and we would all go and like
1:09:55Liza would be there and it would be so
1:09:56much fun. Everyone was so lively. And
1:09:58then like yeah, after that breakup
1:09:59happened, he became like
1:10:01he became like really cold, really like
1:10:02just like pushing the envelope and
1:10:04trying to be as like nasty as possible
1:10:05and like trying to take me to a strip
1:10:06club with Jason just trying to do the
1:10:07most and I was like I don't know, just
1:10:09weirdo
1:10:10weirdo behavior, but
1:10:12>> Yeah, I think with him too it's like he
1:10:13got a lot of success and it's like
1:10:17flying too close to the sun was having
1:10:18so a lot of guys, especially guys that
1:10:20you hang out with for some reason. I
1:10:21don't [laughter] know why.
1:10:22>> I don't know why either. I'm like oh
1:10:24luckily I'm like I do feel divinely
1:10:26protected in some ways cuz I'm like
1:10:27dodging. I think like thank god for
1:10:29therapy and thank god for a spiritual
1:10:30awakening cuz I do feel like I'm a
1:10:31little more like in tune, but I was I
1:10:33was attracting the worst people cuz
1:10:36yeah, I was I
1:10:37when you have like low self-worth, you
1:10:38will attract like the worst people in
1:10:40the world.
1:10:41>> And I can't leave the Jason David saga
1:10:44before getting into when you were like
1:10:45institutionalized. And I love that I
1:10:47highlighted this in my other review too,
1:10:48but when you talk about um being in the
1:10:51mental hospital and you compare your BBL
1:10:54to like a cup of Jell-O and a hurricane
1:10:55[laughter]
1:10:56and like the vivid imagery of you like
1:10:58running down the halls with just like
1:11:00ass out.
1:11:02[laughter] And it is very visceral, I
1:11:03will say.
1:11:04>> my god. That is a memory that will be in
1:11:06my That's the first time I had Ativan.
1:11:08They stuck me in my leg with Ativan. I
1:11:10mean that is
1:11:12if my life doesn't read like a movie, I
1:11:13feel like that scene is a movie. Like
1:11:15that
1:11:16It's very I Even the way I I remember it
1:11:19I I remember it so vividly even though I
1:11:22just took like a whole thing of pills
1:11:23and and like drank a whole bottle of
1:11:25wine. Like I just remember it like
1:11:27I remember everything blurry. I remember
1:11:28like waking up. I remember Adam calling
1:11:30the ambulance. I woke up and then Adam's
1:11:31like, you know, I'm going to be in the
1:11:32lobby. I was like, no, go home. Like I
1:11:34remember like texting Jason like wanting
1:11:35him to come and
1:11:36So then I went to see Jason. I was like,
1:11:38and then when I saw David and Jeff, I
1:11:40was like, well, at least David came
1:11:41back. I was like, why the would they let
1:11:42David back at the Cedar Sinai? Yes. And
1:11:45he like wasn't filming. Obviously they
1:11:46said they were all filming. I mean he
1:11:47had it like down, but I just remember
1:11:49being so
1:11:50goddamn triggered by that. And I was
1:11:51like, why the hell would they let this
1:11:52like little punk back there? Because I
1:11:54think I had said like, oh my boyfriend's
1:11:56coming or whatever. But then it's like
1:11:56this little Unless he thought it was
1:11:57like his son or something. I don't know
1:11:59what the But I was like, why is he back
1:12:00here? Like I lost That's when I ran cuz
1:12:03I was just like
1:12:05I That might have been close to
1:12:06psychosis. I mean that I mean that's the
1:12:08reason why I got like hospitalized, I'm
1:12:09sure, cuz I was just like, I'm going to
1:12:10kill you. I'm going to kill myself. Like
1:12:11I was just like so
1:12:13But yeah, I was completely naked. Took
1:12:14everything out and that's when they
1:12:15They
1:12:16strapped me down to go to the mental
1:12:18hospital, which is an insane thing to be
1:12:20strapped down like freaking
1:12:23Hannibal Lecter. It's just like, oh my
1:12:25god. Like what the It was It honestly
1:12:27was like
1:12:29more than any of my other like drug uses
1:12:30and stuff. That was like the scariest. I
1:12:32was like, what the hell is my life right
1:12:33now? And then when they shoot you They
1:12:34shoot you They shot me with Ativan and I
1:12:35was just like
1:12:37I I didn't even know. I thought they
1:12:38were like trying to kill me or
1:12:39something. I was just like, oh my god,
1:12:39I'm fine. Slowly I'm slowly like losing
1:12:41control of my body and then they like
1:12:42strapped me down. It's such a crazy And
1:12:44that's I think That should have been
1:12:45like That should have been my last rock
1:12:47bottom. I should have been like, girl,
1:12:48you need to get together. But it was
1:12:49>> Little did we know. Yeah.
1:12:50>> not. There was many 2019 I always say
1:12:53crazy year. That was February of 2019,
1:12:55so.
1:12:55>> And then was the time when you drove to
1:12:58Jason's house and like you were You
1:13:00slept outside on his like lawn. Was that
1:13:01the last time that you saw him?
1:13:03>> Yeah. Yeah, he like
1:13:06hard blocked me everywhere because
1:13:08we were still like seeing each other
1:13:09from February when he broke up with me
1:13:10that February of the mental hospital.
1:13:12Like he definitely was still like coming
1:13:13over to hook up. I was still going to
1:13:14his house to hook up. Like he definitely
1:13:15was still being like, if you just
1:13:16apologize to David, we can get back
1:13:17together. And obviously you remember
1:13:19like my main goal was I was like trying
1:13:20to have a baby and I thought like, well,
1:13:21if they you know, whatever. So it was
1:13:22still very much actively like all of
1:13:24that. So I um Yeah, I thought we were on
1:13:27the right like track to that. Um
1:13:30It was my birthday. Yeah, it was my
1:13:31birthday of that year that he said he
1:13:33was going to come, and then he's like,
1:13:34actually, Nash Grier is having a baby
1:13:36shower, so I can't make it. And I was
1:13:37like,
1:13:37period. [laughter]
1:13:39That's when I was like, all right,
1:13:40mother
1:13:41Says a lot about anyways. I don't want
1:13:43to I don't want to do too much. I Maybe
1:13:44[laughter] he's changed and grown. I
1:13:45don't know. I haven't kept up, but like
1:13:47if you're yeah. Anyways, that's all I
1:13:49needed to know actually. So if you're if
1:13:50you think you're dating someone and they
1:13:51pick Nash Grier who's a 20-year-old
1:13:53having a baby shower over your birthday,
1:13:55they're just not that into you. And that
1:13:57should have been sign number 531, and it
1:13:59just it just wasn't.
1:14:01>> [laughter]
1:14:02>> And how long was the gap between like
1:14:04getting excommunicated from the vlog
1:14:05squad to frenemies, which is of course
1:14:08is like this Trish renaissance in a
1:14:10crazy way?
1:14:11>> Yeah. Yeah. Um, god, that is
1:14:15I mean, 2019 is when I first go on the
1:14:16H3 podcast, so I mean, but
1:14:17>> That was the face tune.
1:14:19>> That was the face tune where he like
1:14:21was making fun of Nikita Dragun, me,
1:14:23Tana calling us all fat whales and
1:14:24twinkies. I think called me a wrestler.
1:14:25I don't know what the
1:14:26Um, but I had nothing to lose. That
1:14:282019, like I said, PewDiePie was making
1:14:29a video about me, Nikita Caldo. I mean,
1:14:31everyone was coming for me on 2019, so
1:14:33H3 was just like one of but he was he
1:14:35would like respond. So I did the H3
1:14:38podcast fall 2019. That was when I was
1:14:39trying to like latch onto a new group,
1:14:41so I was doing the Keem and JC like what
1:14:43was someone else? Reality house. Yeah,
1:14:44that's what it was. And then I was on
1:14:46Impulsive. I thought that was going to
1:14:47be For a minute I thought, oh, this is
1:14:48my new crew right here, me, Mike, and
1:14:50Logan
1:14:50cuz they had just gotten rid of their
1:14:52third co-host. [laughter] I was like,
1:14:53we're the new we're the new Impulsive.
1:14:55Could you imagine I just become
1:14:56completely right-wing? Like I'm just
1:14:59>> shocking.
1:15:00>> I was like and oh my god, that would
1:15:01actually be crazy, but they were like
1:15:02[ __ ] to be back then, but here I was
1:15:04just like, whatever. Like me I think I
1:15:05should have been booed.
1:15:07Oh yeah. [laughter]
1:15:10I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS. I
1:15:11WAS REALLY SKINNY AT that time though,
1:15:12but I was just going on any cuz I was
1:15:14just really trying to be part of a new
1:15:15group. I was like, well, I'm I'm out of
1:15:16the vlog squad. Like it was like Shane
1:15:17to vlog squad to like where's the new
1:15:19group. And so I was just trying to be
1:15:21part of an already existing fandom, and
1:15:23then
1:15:24arguably of all the fandoms, the H3 was
1:15:26like the meanest from the beginning like
1:15:28when I was on there. I mean, obviously
1:15:29they hated me. Obviously
1:15:31the thing about the H3 podcast like I
1:15:33mean,
1:15:34specifically Ethan, I'll say, like I
1:15:35feel like um
1:15:37they had people on a lot of times to
1:15:38make fun of them. Like, I think that was
1:15:40kind of like Howard Stern, and I loved
1:15:41Howard Stern, so maybe that's why I like
1:15:43maybe took an interest when I found out
1:15:44about this H3 thing cuz I was like, oh,
1:15:45it's kind of like Howard Stern where
1:15:46they're just
1:15:47it's kind of like, oh, they're being
1:15:48mean cuz they like you, but like, no, it
1:15:50wasn't. So I did
1:15:52I did that, and then it did well. They
1:15:54asked me back, so I was like, maybe this
1:15:55is my new thing. The only only other
1:15:58time I ever heard of Ethan, I remember
1:16:00Jason watched them. They had something
1:16:02with like
1:16:03Bill Burr or something, like it was a
1:16:04bad interview, and I remember Jason
1:16:05being like,
1:16:06look at this, like and I was like, I
1:16:07don't know who any of these people are.
1:16:08So that's the only like time I kind of
1:16:09remembered the other hearing about
1:16:12Ethan.
1:16:13So then, yeah, to fast forward, so then
1:16:152019
1:16:16and then 2020 is when Frenemies starts.
1:16:18But before Frenemies, I was on the H3
1:16:20podcast like
1:16:21three times. They like gave me my own
1:16:23like dating show called like The
1:16:24Bachelor. They're like we
1:16:26and that's when I had like somewhat
1:16:28somewhat of like a friendship I thought
1:16:29with Ethan and and Hila. I was like I
1:16:32would go on the show, and I'd be like,
1:16:33you know, I'm you know, I never had good
1:16:34luck in love. And Ethan was like kind of
1:16:36compassionate. He's like, damn, you
1:16:37dated like [ __ ] and you're just
1:16:38like, wow, I feel like so seen. Like it
1:16:39felt like kind of nice. And then
1:16:42yeah, I remember at Christmas break
1:16:43they're like, do you want to come back
1:16:44and like
1:16:46we'll try and find you a boyfriend. And
1:16:47I was like, hell yeah. I was like so
1:16:48excited cuz I just, you know, I really
1:16:50wanted I had such a bad series of
1:16:51relationships in 2019. So I was like,
1:16:54damn, I really would like to find
1:16:55someone. And I thought it was going to
1:16:56be like a serious show, like the actual
1:16:57Bachelor. I was like, oh my god, they're
1:16:58going to find me someone. And then
1:16:59obviously
1:17:01you know, their their fans applied, and
1:17:03the crew, you know, Dan and he picked
1:17:05out the suitors, which I don't think was
1:17:08like obviously I don't know. Maybe he
1:17:10was trying to be sincere, and maybe he
1:17:11wasn't, but I remember the people that
1:17:12came, I was like, oh no, like these are
1:17:13the people that want to date me. And
1:17:15then ultimately I was just like
1:17:17I think I'm done dating. I thought I was
1:17:19like over dating, and I was so
1:17:21so sad. And then that's when I asked
1:17:23them at the end, and you can see at the
1:17:25end of the I think it's the episode it's
1:17:26March like 15th, two days before the
1:17:29quarantine happened, I asked at the end
1:17:30of the episode. I was like, hey, like I
1:17:32asked them like to Hila like, your
1:17:33brother was supposed to apply. Where was
1:17:34he? Cuz I I just had sat through three
1:17:36hours of like 30 different guys like
1:17:37applying and they were all just like,
1:17:39not it.
1:17:40And then they're like, yeah, he was
1:17:41supposed to apply, but
1:17:44he just busy. He just busy. And I was
1:17:46like, well, what's his name? And they're
1:17:47like, Moses. And I was like, Moses? And
1:17:50I was like, what's his age? And they and
1:17:51he was like, he's 10 years older than
1:17:52me. I was like, [gasps] which is like
1:17:54perfect cuz I liked an older guy. I was
1:17:55like, oh my gosh. And then I was like,
1:17:56do you think he wants to marry me? And
1:17:58Ethan's like, he doesn't want to marry
1:18:00you.
1:18:00or something. And I was just like, oh
1:18:02and so anyways, I thought it's just
1:18:03never going to happen. Whatever. And
1:18:05then yeah, that night I was so
1:18:07depressed. I was so like, oh my god,
1:18:08these are the guys that want to date me.
1:18:10Like,
1:18:11uh and then I just went to go search for
1:18:12Moses myself. They told me his name. I
1:18:13didn't know his name before.
1:18:15So they had told me his name. So I was
1:18:17like, let me find So I went to the H3
1:18:19who they were following and then I was
1:18:20like, Moses or like it somehow I found
1:18:22him through there and or maybe I just
1:18:24Googled H3 Moses and it came up and then
1:18:25I found his cuz his name wasn't Moses at
1:18:27the time. It was like Clear Being on
1:18:28Instagram. And I went
1:18:31and I as I usually do, I just like I
1:18:33would do this with everyone, even Zack
1:18:34like, did they ever message me? Like,
1:18:35I'm very that person.
1:18:37I still do it. I'm still like, did this
1:18:39person ever message me? And I looked and
1:18:41Moses had just messaged me like 10
1:18:42minutes prior. So they must have told
1:18:44you, which is crazy cuz from the
1:18:46beginning they were like, Moses is
1:18:48[snorts] too busy. They kind of hyped
1:18:49you up. They're like, Moses is very
1:18:50busy. He has a very important job and he
1:18:52he wouldn't apply to this or something.
1:18:54So then when I got the DM from you,
1:18:56I was like, oh my gosh, this is crazy.
1:18:57And like there was a little mix of both.
1:18:59I mean, I was so bored on a Friday night
1:19:00so I was like, hey Moses. You know what
1:19:02I mean? But then I'm also like, here's a
1:19:04way to get here's a story for getting
1:19:05back on the podcast. So I was
1:19:07[laughter] IT WAS A LITTLE
1:19:08A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH. I was like, okay.
1:19:10And then that's where I talk about all
1:19:12the Burning Man photos, which turned me
1:19:13off a little bit, but I I went out on
1:19:15the next day because I wanted to meet up
1:19:17with him that night. I was like, hey
1:19:17Moses, come on over. And then he's like,
1:19:20how about tomorrow? And I was like, in
1:19:20full glam. As you know, my full glam
1:19:22days are very important to me. I was
1:19:23like, but I'm in full glam tonight, but
1:19:24he wanted to take me out. So I was like,
1:19:25fine. So I slept in my glam. And he's
1:19:27like, well, I want to take you out to
1:19:28like a date. I was like, what the I was
1:19:30like, you want to take me out on a date?
1:19:31That's crazy. So then we went on a date
1:19:33and yeah.
1:19:35>> Yeah, cuz I I think I probably I watched
1:19:37it cuz at the time I used to watch
1:19:38everything.
1:19:40And then after it was uh the show was
1:19:42done, they
1:19:44>> No, they told you before. You called
1:19:45texted me on Friday after we filmed the
1:19:46show. The show didn't go up till
1:19:47Saturday back then. It was Saturday
1:19:49morning. So you told me they told you
1:19:51after filming. Yeah.
1:19:52>> Yeah, either either way they told me
1:19:53after filming. So
1:19:54>> It was pre-filmed. We filmed on a Friday
1:19:55and it aired on a Saturday.
1:19:57>> Oh, that's why.
1:19:57>> remember that morning they were like we
1:19:58might not even do it cuz of this like
1:19:59COVID or something like that. And so and
1:20:02then I asked about you and then they
1:20:03must have told you because we were
1:20:05talking.
1:20:05>> Friday. So I don't remember if it was a
1:20:08I think they called me cuz I think
1:20:10remember talking about it. So then
1:20:13they told me that you asked about me and
1:20:17that I should apply or something like I
1:20:19should that I should
1:20:20cuz I didn't want to be like you know
1:20:23I didn't want to be part of the joke. I
1:20:24didn't want to be
1:20:25>> It was definitely a joke. It definitely
1:20:27was like these I think they picked the
1:20:28worst people on purpose. Like I think
1:20:29they were definitely trying to make me
1:20:30look bad.
1:20:31>> of a purpose or not, it's more the line
1:20:33of questioning cuz I know what I would
1:20:36be subjected to and I was like I didn't
1:20:37want to be subjected to that cuz I'm not
1:20:40that kind of person like to talk about
1:20:41my personal life, private life like
1:20:43that.
1:20:45So but anyway, but after they told me
1:20:46that then I messaged you.
1:20:49And I didn't think you'll see it, not
1:20:51see it, I had no idea. But then somehow
1:20:52like literally it was cuz I'm not I
1:20:54don't have notifications on on any
1:20:57social media. So
1:20:59I would have not even seen it, you know,
1:21:00at all.
1:21:00>> Wait, why did you message me? I'm so
1:21:02curious.
1:21:03Cuz that's kind of not in your character
1:21:04either to like message. I guess you were
1:21:06in your dating era. You said you just
1:21:07got back to dating around that time.
1:21:10>> Well, the thing is the real story,
1:21:11right? Like
1:21:12>> Yeah.
1:21:13>> So before before um she had the
1:21:15bachelorette,
1:21:17I was supposed to be the bachelor.
1:21:19And they actually announced it in one of
1:21:20the episode before they were taking the
1:21:22break.
1:21:23>> break and they asked me to apply.
1:21:24They're like
1:21:25>> so basically I was supposed to be the
1:21:26bachelor.
1:21:27And then they said oh, we'll ask Trisha
1:21:29to apply to yours, right?
1:21:31>> Mhm. And I said yes and they Dan emailed
1:21:32me and I said yeah, honey, they can get
1:21:34back on the show. I was like sure.
1:21:35>> And then I think they figured out wait,
1:21:36we're going to get more views if Trisha
1:21:38is the bachelorette obviously cuz I was
1:21:40nobody. So
1:21:41so there like, so
1:21:42>> you hadn't been on H3 podcast at all?
1:21:44>> No, never.
1:21:46So, so anyway, so they had me at the
1:21:48Bachelor, they announced it. Suddenly I
1:21:50was getting all those DMs, people
1:21:52calling me, people like texting me like,
1:21:54oh,
1:21:55congratulations, you're the Bachelor, da
1:21:57da da. So,
1:21:58>> Cuz they announced it right before
1:21:59Christmas break, yeah.
1:22:00>> And then I got a call that like, hey, by
1:22:02the way, we kind of want to switch and
1:22:05have Trisha be the Bachelorette.
1:22:07And I was like, you know, I always go
1:22:08with the flow of it cuz they knew what's
1:22:10better for the show. I was like, sure,
1:22:12you know, it makes sense. I get it. It
1:22:14makes sense. She'll be the Bachelorette.
1:22:16And uh but if you want, you can apply to
1:22:18be in hers. You know, so it was kind of
1:22:20a way to keep me in the loop, but I
1:22:22didn't really want to be in the loop in
1:22:23that way, you know.
1:22:25So then so yeah, so then anyway, your
1:22:28went on and I'm surprised they even told
1:22:30you that they had the idea for me
1:22:32applying cuz it's not like
1:22:34it's not like a celebrity you know, for
1:22:35me it's like makes sense that they would
1:22:37say that.
1:22:38>> was excited to be on yours and like
1:22:39we'll just have Moses apply for yours. I
1:22:40was like, okay.
1:22:40>> Right, just kind of a way to shift it
1:22:42over.
1:22:42>> they didn't say your name. They're like,
1:22:42Kila's brother. They kept calling you,
1:22:43so I didn't know your name. That's why
1:22:44when they told me Moses on the show, I
1:22:45was like, Moses? Like I never heard of a
1:22:47Moses. Like I never it's common
1:22:48obviously in like Jewish culture, but I
1:22:49had no idea. I was like, Moses?
1:22:51>> when I saw you on the show, I really
1:22:52liked you. Like
1:22:53you were
1:22:55>> Did you?
1:22:56>> Yeah.
1:22:56>> This is what I never know cuz I'm like,
1:22:58I don't know.
1:22:59>> I wouldn't go on a date or text you
1:23:00otherwise. I mean, obviously I had lots
1:23:02of other people before you.
1:23:03>> really okay, so you just wanted to go on
1:23:05a date? That's so crazy to me cuz that
1:23:06was like
1:23:07I never I didn't know.
1:23:09>> Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't want
1:23:10us just come over that night. I was
1:23:11like, you know, I wanted to be a man to
1:23:14be like, okay, there's going to be a
1:23:16date.
1:23:17There's going to be a place. I'm going
1:23:18to pick you up. We're going to go there.
1:23:19I'm going to pay for it. I'm going to
1:23:21like it's going to be a date.
1:23:22>> You parked your own car. The valet's
1:23:23like, I'll park it. He's like, no, I
1:23:24like to park my own car.
1:23:25>> I mean, cuz it was right there.
1:23:26[laughter] It was right there.
1:23:28>> Yes, I'll park it myself. Yeah.
1:23:30I was like, okay, we still paid for the
1:23:32valet. I was like, we'll let the valet
1:23:33like
1:23:33>> the valet. Let me just
1:23:34>> Yeah, it was that was what was so weird
1:23:36to me. I was like, okay, you're going to
1:23:37pay, but okay.
1:23:38>> [laughter]
1:23:39>> No, that's totally on brand. Yeah.
1:23:40>> you picked me from my mom's house cuz I
1:23:41didn't want you to know where I lived,
1:23:43so you picked [laughter] me from my
1:23:43mom's house.
1:23:43>> I had a ride Ferrari, so.
1:23:45>> Yeah. Oh yeah, I thought it was a
1:23:46Ferrari. So I was like, we're looking
1:23:47for a Ferrari. And then my sister's
1:23:48like, there's a Porsche that keeps
1:23:49circling. And I was like, I didn't know
1:23:50what the difference was. I was like, you
1:23:51were excited cuz you just got the car.
1:23:52So I was like, okay. And yeah, and then
1:23:54so anyways, all that to say. So then
1:23:56yes, I think another misconception is
1:23:58that like me and Moses met cuz a friend
1:24:00of mine's and it wasn't. It was the H3
1:24:01podcast. And frenemies didn't even come
1:24:03about until August of that year after we
1:24:06were dating. We we weren't dating from
1:24:09clearly there was a lot happening. March
1:24:11through like he like blocked me in July.
1:24:12Like there was a lot. There was a lot
1:24:13that happened.
1:24:14March through August we barely saw each
1:24:16other, kind of friends. That kind of
1:24:18happened. And then it was like end of
1:24:20August. Oh,
1:24:21my my podcast Dish with Trish got
1:24:23canceled. It was like it was so funny.
1:24:25It's like through podcast one and
1:24:28it was once Shane was getting canceled.
1:24:29It was like I remember he was getting
1:24:30canceled really bad and I was like
1:24:32defending him. And I think that's why
1:24:33mine ultimately got canceled I feel cuz
1:24:35like they're like, well, we can't afford
1:24:36your show anymore. I was editing. It was
1:24:37at my house. I was like, nobody it costs
1:24:39nothing for this show to be on. So it
1:24:41was very weird. So they like let me go
1:24:42like three months early for my contract.
1:24:44And I think I made a podcast saying I
1:24:46was fired. I was like, my podcast is
1:24:48ending.
1:24:49And then like a week later cuz Moses
1:24:51would was working with them. You were
1:24:52like helping them with like house stuff.
1:24:54Is that what you were doing? You were
1:24:55like
1:24:55>> Designing it.
1:24:56>> Yeah. So and then he he asked Moses. He
1:24:59was like, thinking about starting a you
1:25:01could say it. I actually don't know the
1:25:02story of when you went over to the house
1:25:03and they asked you.
1:25:04>> Well, I just think the episodes that she
1:25:06was on were so good. The chemistry was
1:25:08so good. It was so explosive. And you
1:25:10saw it also on the views and all that.
1:25:11And we talked about it even before about
1:25:13like that would actually be a good duo,
1:25:16you and him. And we talked about that.
1:25:18And then
1:25:19I think they saw the same thing. But at
1:25:22the time he had a podcast with with
1:25:24Hila. So it didn't make sense like how
1:25:25would that even work.
1:25:26>> Well, you told me he said he had an idea
1:25:28to do a podcast with a female comedian.
1:25:30Like like a Whitney Cummings or
1:25:31something like that like or just
1:25:32somebody like a female comedian cuz he
1:25:34had a rapport with her.
1:25:36>> I can't I don't really remember that.
1:25:38But I just remember that we met one day
1:25:40and they were like after we started
1:25:42dating they were like, oh, we're really
1:25:43happy for for guys and all that. And
1:25:45then I think [clears throat]
1:25:47um by the way, I'm thinking of maybe
1:25:48doing something with Trisha. So, kind of
1:25:50to tell you.
1:25:51>> Which fast forward a few months earlier
1:25:53when they're like Moses is only dating
1:25:54Trisha for a joke. So, it was like so up
1:25:56and down. It was like I remember
1:25:57watching that episode and I like kicked
1:25:58you out. I was like you you were only
1:26:00going to apply for a joke and I actually
1:26:01I was so mad. There was a lot of
1:26:02tumultuous stuff before that, but that's
1:26:04weird. Then they're like, okay, we're
1:26:05happy for you. Let's start a podcast.
1:26:06>> was they
1:26:07it was reluctant, you know. It wasn't
1:26:09like really
1:26:10>> To start the podcast or
1:26:11>> No, the we're happy for you. It was more
1:26:14like [laughter] you know.
1:26:15>> Like we're happy for you. What about a
1:26:16podcast?
1:26:17>> guess we're taking it seriously.
1:26:18>> Yeah.
1:26:19>> So, um
1:26:20>> And then yeah, then they I were like
1:26:22would Trisha like they didn't talk to
1:26:23you. They didn't talk to me at first and
1:26:24then you came home and you're like, oh,
1:26:26Ethan was starting a podcast. I thought
1:26:27it was like a big deal cuz like they had
1:26:29a studio. They knew how to get ads. Like
1:26:30I didn't know how to do any of that
1:26:31stuff. So, I was like, well, mine just
1:26:32got canceled.
1:26:33It was like out of my house and I was
1:26:34doing everything myself, the audio. I
1:26:35was like literally like starting and
1:26:36stopping myself. Yeah.
1:26:38>> she was like
1:26:39like me right here.
1:26:40When Joey did it, yes. Yeah. You know.
1:26:43>> I was like wait.
1:26:44Like I had to restart, clap.
1:26:46I did it all myself. Yeah. Oh my god,
1:26:48that's so funny. God, you really were
1:26:50there through so many.
1:26:51And that's what we should talk about.
1:26:52God, I've caught with so long go 3 hours
1:26:54of this. I feel like we should talk
1:26:55about all the times like you cuz you
1:26:56were in the Shane, you were in like the
1:26:58David like after the David you were
1:26:59there. Like we have so many pieces where
1:27:01>> a weird bystander all the Trisha eras. I
1:27:04know. We should just go long and then me
1:27:06and Jimmy can figure something out next
1:27:07week cuz there's so much left.
1:27:08>> I know. There's so much left. I was like
1:27:10wait, you were in so much of this. Like
1:27:12me and Shane bonded over watching like
1:27:13Strawberry 17 and we'd make fun of
1:27:15everyone except for Oscar. We like
1:27:16really loved Oscar. And he would say
1:27:18that too. He's like, I love Oscar. And I
1:27:20was like, I love Oscar. Like we really
1:27:21thought you were like the star and we
1:27:23always said that. And then he's like and
1:27:24when she said like they were not getting
1:27:26paid, I was like, he's not paying Oscar?
1:27:27Like he's so good. He always thought you
1:27:29were so good. I always thought you were
1:27:30so good. And um yeah, I guess the Joey
1:27:33too, the Joey of it all. We would get
1:27:34Joey's parties. We would see each other
1:27:35after the Shane. Like literally after
1:27:37every era you were there. After every
1:27:39down Oscar was there to interview me to
1:27:41be at the party and talk to me when no
1:27:43one else would.
1:27:43>> we did. I remember it was Joey's party.
1:27:46You were wearing the Santa Claus dress
1:27:48and then it's the you crying at Sean
1:27:50Hill, never uh he doesn't love me, or
1:27:52whatever. Where you were crying,
1:27:54>> Literally, [laughter]
1:27:55yes, in the in the red Santa hat.
1:27:57>> And then um interviewed you and Jason
1:27:59Nash as a couple once. You and Jason
1:28:02Nash post breakup.
1:28:03>> I forgot about that.
1:28:05>> Yeah, literally
1:28:06beginning when you guys just started
1:28:08dating, and then I was your first
1:28:09interview after you guys broke up, and
1:28:11you just got out of the mental hospital.
1:28:13>> in 2019? We were so skinny then.
1:28:16>> We were. [laughter]
1:28:17We actually were.
1:28:17>> skinny. I dressed up like Pamela
1:28:19Anderson.
1:28:19Oh my god.
1:28:21Oscar never shy to come back to church.
1:28:23Even the heartbreak tour, the flop tour,
1:28:25he was there, booze on the ground with
1:28:26Farrah at the rehearsal. Nobody else
1:28:28wanted to talk to me.
1:28:30>> And then even post David Dobrik
1:28:32cancellation into I guess before H3, I
1:28:36think No, because you made When did we
1:28:38come here? It was like me and Joey came
1:28:40Oh no, you were in Studio City house. We
1:28:41came twice. Your Studio City house, Joey
1:28:43came, and we did the eating healthy for
1:28:45a day, or whatever.
1:28:46>> It was on the same day we did the
1:28:47podcast?
1:28:48>> It was like the two for. It was like a
1:28:49pod swap kind of. Yeah.
1:28:50>> I'm like I'll eat vegetables with you if
1:28:51you come on my podcast.
1:28:52>> yeah, talk about Gabby Hanna, or
1:28:53whatever. And then
1:28:54>> Were we?
1:28:55>> Yeah. I don't know if you said her name.
1:28:57Oh no, Joey did. He's like who you were
1:28:58like who is the most difficult one to
1:28:59work with? And he's like Gabby Hanna.
1:29:01>> Oh. [laughter] Joey always down to be
1:29:02messy. I love it. Oh my gosh, I forgot.
1:29:05And then you were And I remember that
1:29:06the like the first time I saw your like
1:29:08producing skills. Like I always thought
1:29:09you were just on camera, I guess. I
1:29:10always thought you were just like an on
1:29:11camera talent. And then I remember that
1:29:12one um because you guys came here for
1:29:14the fast food one, and I remember you
1:29:16just like coming up with the ideas. How
1:29:17about let's do this? Like do it this
1:29:18way. And I was just like
1:29:19>> this, Joey. Yeah.
1:29:19>> Yes. It was very producer. It's very
1:29:21reality TV. That's why I was like wait,
1:29:23you're so good. So I always remember you
1:29:25as being good from that, too. Obviously,
1:29:26the strawberry and stuff like that, but
1:29:27I was like damn. And I remember Joey's
1:29:28channel did really well, and all the
1:29:29stuff did good, and it was so produced.
1:29:31And I was like damn, I need a I need a
1:29:32Oscar. And like early on, that was
1:29:34beginning of 2020, I guess, was when you
1:29:35guys came to the Studio City house.
1:29:37>> Yes. And the the stakes in Just Trish
1:29:40Enterprises, the crying on the kitchen
1:29:41floor LLC were low because [laughter] no
1:29:43one was collabing with you at the time,
1:29:44too. So it was so good.
1:29:46>> true. That is so SHOUT OUT JOEY, TOO.
1:29:49>> hate train era.
1:29:50>> And nobody wanted to collab with me.
1:29:51That's why
1:29:52>> like kind of surprised. Joey has been
1:29:53always like down to like
1:29:55>> He doesn't Yeah, he doesn't get swayed
1:29:56by like public opinion. He's very much
1:29:58like for better or worse with the James
1:30:00Charles of it all. But he's very much
1:30:01like [laughter] my interactions with you
1:30:03is what
1:30:08>> Aw. one because that was Yeah, nobody
1:30:09was wanting to clap with me back then.
1:30:12>> Yeah, so it was an It was an easy
1:30:13booking for us at least. You were the
1:30:15top You were my number one pitch. If
1:30:16that makes you feel better.
1:30:17>> It's always an easy booking.
1:30:19>> it down in my notebook. I was like
1:30:20eating healthy with Trisha. Yes, dead
1:30:22ass.
1:30:22>> notebook. Get all those ideas back. We
1:30:24need to We need to come up with them
1:30:25again. Cuz even when everyone was on the
1:30:27actor strike for Entertainment Tonight,
1:30:29I was like Oh, Trish and I'm You know
1:30:31I'm an easy book. If it's Entertainment
1:30:32Tonight or when you were with Access, I
1:30:33was like Wow, they want to talk to us.
1:30:35>> You would get back with the quickness.
1:30:37You and Jason Nash came really quick.
1:30:39>> We were down. We were down. Uh-huh. Did
1:30:41he Did you ever do a solo one with him?
1:30:42>> No.
1:30:43>> Okay. [laughter] Just
1:30:44>> No, I remember it was me and
1:30:45>> said it after the breakup, so I'm like
1:30:46did you do a solo one with him?
1:30:47>> It was me and my co-worker Stephanie. We
1:30:49were so excited to interview together,
1:30:50but especially Stephanie. I think she
1:30:52might have been asking the questions
1:30:54too. And she was very much like she Cuz
1:30:57we're Trish fans first and foremost, so
1:30:59he She was very much going in. I think
1:31:01now Stephanie like at his Montana and
1:31:02stuff too, which is again full circle.
1:31:04>> funny.
1:31:04>> But she was like I remember she was like
1:31:06pressing Jason Nash about like and make
1:31:08sure that you respect Trisha. Like we
1:31:10love her. Yes. [laughter] She was like
1:31:12>> Find that.
1:31:12>> Trish on God. It was cringe.
1:31:14>> I And probably that interview I was like
1:31:16Wow, we are a power couple. Look at us
1:31:17here at Access.
1:31:18>> Joey pressed [laughter] Trish.
1:31:21>> Oh, it's cringy. I laugh cuz it's
1:31:22actually so cringy and I'm so
1:31:23embarrassed by it all. But again, it
1:31:25takes two to tango. Like he was also
1:31:26like in this. I was like Ew, what with
1:31:28the was happening? Like it was
1:31:30It's like a fever dream that I like
1:31:31cannot wake up from sometime, but hey,
1:31:33it makes a good chapter in the book.
1:31:34[laughter] So um yeah, so you were like
1:31:36always like inter intertwined. So yeah,
1:31:38then when So it's 2020 and then yeah,
1:31:40Frenemies starts in
1:31:42September of 2020 and yeah, I thought
1:31:45this was I thought that was like my
1:31:46redemption. I mean I've been lucky. I've
1:31:48gotten a lot of redemption arcs. I've
1:31:49gotten a lot of Our third act, second
1:31:51act, fourth act. I got a lot of acts. I
1:31:52got a lot of second acts, know what I
1:31:53mean? So, yeah, Frenemies, I really
1:31:55thought
1:31:56um I thought that was it. I was like,
1:31:58wow, I really found my stride. I
1:32:01it was yeah, it was fun while it lasted.
1:32:04>> the pendulum of like all of a sudden
1:32:05like Trisha Paytas having power or guess
1:32:08believed I guess is the big thing too,
1:32:09right? Like
1:32:11Again, it's like that trend of like
1:32:12there's there's a man to like co-sign
1:32:14you then your word is taken, you know,
1:32:16as Bible versus like Trish by herself no
1:32:18one takes you serious.
1:32:19>> Yeah.
1:32:19>> But then all of a sudden to see the I
1:32:22think I saw a TikTok I think the other
1:32:24day of it was like Cannons in the sky
1:32:25like how game style of like people you
1:32:27guys were canceling but it was like
1:32:28David Dobrik, Jeff Wittek, Shane,
1:32:31Jeffree. It was like anyone you called
1:32:32out
1:32:33>> Hila by J with Jeffree. Yeah, it was
1:32:35yeah, it was yeah.
1:32:36>> And so was that from going to like
1:32:38bottom of the barrel no one even wanting
1:32:40to collab with you [laughter]
1:32:41to all of a sudden having that power
1:32:42like what was that like mentally?
1:32:45>> borderline split. Oh my god, I was just
1:32:47like damn, I have all the power now like
1:32:50both is bad. Having like no power and no
1:32:52one believing you then having like too
1:32:53much power and just like you know it was
1:32:56I needed I definitely needed humbling.
1:32:58And that's what I learned about talked
1:32:59about it last episode. I learned about
1:33:00all the karma of it all cuz it's like
1:33:04like I'm like obviously I'm good at
1:33:05talking. I'm good at podcasting. I like
1:33:06love a key
1:33:08it kind of was almost like a hot topics
1:33:11thing. Like I feel like it was you know
1:33:13we would talk about yeah, whatever pop
1:33:15culture I would bring in like topics
1:33:16that I wanted to talk about and it was
1:33:18like a 2 hour thing and it was it was
1:33:19fun. It was kind of like
1:33:21easy conversation. I talked a lot about
1:33:23myself which I thought you know like the
1:33:24first couple episodes were just like all
1:33:25about me and Moses and stuff like that.
1:33:28So,
1:33:29it um it was great. It started out I
1:33:31think like
1:33:32I think Frenemies started out as like
1:33:34kind of like dunking on me not in like a
1:33:35bad way cuz I was like a down to be a
1:33:37part of it but like
1:33:38it definitely was like stuff with me and
1:33:40Moses and stuff like I didn't want to be
1:33:41brought up but I thought okay, this is
1:33:43what we're doing. We're like so now I
1:33:44took what happened in my last
1:33:45relationship and I now I had Moses even
1:33:47though he wasn't on camera I was like
1:33:48kind of exploiting like our relationship
1:33:50for like views and thumbnails and
1:33:52whatever and so I kind of thought that
1:33:53was just like the gag of it all.
1:33:55Um and then we did like you know are you
1:33:56smarter than a fifth where I think like,
1:33:58you know, he probably thought I was like
1:33:58really stupid or whatever. And then I
1:34:00don't know, it just became like it was
1:34:01like fun. It was like a fun gossip thing
1:34:03to begin with.
1:34:04Um and we would poke each other. I feel
1:34:06like
1:34:08Okay, how do I talk about this? Like I
1:34:09feel like [sighs and gasps]
1:34:12frenemies is like that was the whole
1:34:13point, right? Is that we like
1:34:15>> Ethan didn't like
1:34:15>> didn't like each other. Yeah, like it
1:34:16was like It's not even that we didn't
1:34:18like each other. It's like we liked each
1:34:18other, but we could like really like we
1:34:20were the only two that could like poke
1:34:21fun at each other. And also we were very
1:34:22similar. I talk about this in the book
1:34:24like
1:34:24Ethan's like a lot like Shane. Maybe
1:34:26it's the cancer in all of you or
1:34:27something like that, but it's like, you
1:34:28know, we are self-deprecating and we
1:34:31both
1:34:32just like Shane, just like Ethan, just
1:34:33like a lot of us like had parents that
1:34:35were like, you know, we grew up like fat
1:34:37or parents obsessed with weight. Like we
1:34:38just had a lot of like similarities and
1:34:39like issues. And so like we connected on
1:34:42that. So there was like that level of
1:34:43like bonding and obviously the chemistry
1:34:45and all the stuff like that. Um but we
1:34:47pushed each other. Like unlike a Shane
1:34:49or like anything like
1:34:50it was really like
1:34:51obviously looking back it was like
1:34:52toxic, but people liked it. I didn't
1:34:54feel toxic at the time. I don't know how
1:34:55to explain it. Like I thought that was
1:34:56our banter. It's like, oh, he's going to
1:34:58jab at me and you know, I like had no I
1:35:01had zero self-worth. So I was like, jab
1:35:02all you want, I don't care. And then I
1:35:03thought that was reciprocated for me to
1:35:05do that to Ethan because he would go so
1:35:07hard on me. So I thought like, oh, I can
1:35:09go kind of like I did with like David.
1:35:10Like David did not give like if you you
1:35:12could call him anything and he didn't
1:35:13care. So I kind of thought that was like
1:35:15the banter with like me and Ethan and
1:35:16that's what people liked. And then
1:35:17obviously like our first fight oh, I
1:35:20talk about like I knew something about
1:35:21like he had told me something in
1:35:22confidence and about pills and he said I
1:35:24weaponized it and I and then he asked me
1:35:26to explain myself and then that's where
1:35:27that came off. And then obviously I felt
1:35:29embarrassed, I felt rejected, I felt
1:35:30humiliated. So then I cried, I walked
1:35:32off. That's our first fight, right? And
1:35:34then like
1:35:35the second fight is, you know, he's
1:35:38the whole [gasps] the whole first like
1:35:40month, three months is just me
1:35:41constantly being like me and Moses, our
1:35:44problems. He's airing out texts that I
1:35:45didn't want between me and Moses. Stuff
1:35:46that Moses texted him privately is going
1:35:48out there and I'm like I'm like don't
1:35:50put that in, like don't put that in. It
1:35:51gets in there. So obviously this whole
1:35:53thing is me and Moses. So I was like I
1:35:55literally said lightheartedly I was
1:35:56like, hey, we should have like cuz I
1:35:58didn't want people to think I hated or
1:35:59anything like that. And then he's like,
1:36:01don't talk about her. And then that's
1:36:02when the second fight happens, where I'm
1:36:03just like, what the Like, that's all we
1:36:05do is talk about it. And I said it nice.
1:36:06And he's like, don't talk about it or
1:36:07all the stuff like that. And it was all
1:36:08on camera. I walk off again. Um
1:36:11and so I thought that was just like our
1:36:13thing cuz obviously I kept coming back
1:36:15each time. I mean, that second one I
1:36:16literally call Hila like a You know what
1:36:18I mean? And it was like To me, I feel
1:36:19like that's like unforgivable. You're
1:36:20never back in my house. Like, I feel
1:36:21like that happened with us. Like, you're
1:36:22never You're never getting back here.
1:36:23But he's like, yeah, you can come back.
1:36:25He's like, you can come back. Moses
1:36:26can't. I remember that one, the second
1:36:28one. He's just like
1:36:29him and Hila were on the phone with me.
1:36:30And they're like, yeah, we can continue
1:36:31frenemies. We'll have Dr. Drew come
1:36:32back, but Moses is no longer allowed.
1:36:34Moses came with me every episode. I
1:36:35don't know if people know that, but like
1:36:36every episode from the beginning you
1:36:37came with me. And then that December
1:36:38they were like, you can come back, but
1:36:40not Moses. Literally did nothing.
1:36:41Literally came back with pizzas and like
1:36:42what the happened. So um so that was
1:36:45kind of like the beginning of that. And
1:36:46then I thought that was just like our
1:36:47banter. I was kind of like, well,
1:36:49I guess I'm just the crazy and like
1:36:50that's what people like. So
1:36:52whatever. And then it was like kind of
1:36:54good, kind of fine. And then
1:36:57I don't know. We I I got over stuff
1:36:58easily. To me, I was just like whatever.
1:36:59It seemed like Ethan did too. I mean,
1:37:01call your wife like anything I guess
1:37:02he's over it. I guess she's over it too.
1:37:03Hila's like she was on the phone with
1:37:05me.
1:37:06And I was like, we don't care about
1:37:07that.
1:37:08Okay. So I was like, damn, they're kind
1:37:10of To me, I was like, they're chill.
1:37:11They're cool. Whatever. We're We're just
1:37:12going to do this. And then
1:37:14then it's fine. January we come back and
1:37:16you know me and Moses get engaged. We
1:37:18bought a house. And there's like no
1:37:18mention of that on the show. Like,
1:37:20everything was like tumultuous. Like, we
1:37:21hate each other. Like, whatever. And
1:37:23then once things started getting good,
1:37:25it wasn't really mentioned. Um I guess
1:37:27you were on the Valentine's Day episode.
1:37:28I guess you came on the Valentine's Day
1:37:30one.
1:37:31>> Kind of.
1:37:31>> Yeah. But anyways, um so it was kind of
1:37:33like fine. Everything's fine.
1:37:35Um and then what was the third one? The
1:37:37third one was The third one Who the hell
1:37:39knows what happened on that one. I
1:37:39remember even writing I remember writing
1:37:41the book
1:37:42and my original manuscript, Confessions
1:37:45of a Former Middle-Aged Drama Queen that
1:37:47had just me as Tasha describing this. I
1:37:49was going to go like brush past this. So
1:37:51once again, shout out Alex for really
1:37:52asking the details and having me rewatch
1:37:55it cuz I've never watched any of those
1:37:56fights before [snorts] um or the
1:37:58walk-offs I should say. And he's like,
1:38:00what was the third one? Like, what Like,
1:38:01you guys did all you said all this crazy
1:38:02[ __ ] to each other. Like, what was the
1:38:03third thing that could have been um
1:38:06so awful? And I was like, you know what?
1:38:07I don't even know. Like, I I could not
1:38:09recall. I remember those two fights so
1:38:10vividly, the first ones, but I could not
1:38:11recall the third. And then I went to go
1:38:13rewatch it and I was like
1:38:15I'm like, that was it? Like, I felt like
1:38:18I something I was talking I remember I
1:38:20was talking about like um was talking
1:38:21about
1:38:22>> It was something that had to do with the
1:38:23gay rights. Like you were talking
1:38:25something about the gay rights.
1:38:26>> like
1:38:27I don't know, like something that I
1:38:28really felt passionate about, like
1:38:29something like was it Brokeback
1:38:30Mountain? Something. I was like really
1:38:31passionate about this and yeah, it was
1:38:32like gay rights. And literally he's just
1:38:34like talking to Moses, do you want
1:38:35another piece? Do you want another piece
1:38:36of pizza? I was like, what the
1:38:37>> even
1:38:38>> Yeah, and I was like, all right, well
1:38:39how like I all right, hello? Like, what
1:38:42the [ __ ] is your problem? Like, then I
1:38:43was I was just getting a little annoyed
1:38:45and then he's like then he calls it out
1:38:47of being like, you know, what why are
1:38:49you mad? And so I was I was annoyed
1:38:50about that and then it turns into
1:38:51something else. Then it turns into you
1:38:53guys can rewatch it if you want. Then it
1:38:54turns into this whole other thing and
1:38:55then it was constantly like, oh, what do
1:38:57you mean? What's wrong with the way I
1:38:58run my my business? What's wrong with
1:39:00the way I run my And then I was like,
1:39:01well it would be nice to have someone
1:39:03that gets me and what I'm trying to say.
1:39:04And I think I even brought up like
1:39:05hiring Did I bring it up on that
1:39:07episode? I can't remember which episode
1:39:08or after.
1:39:09>> cuz cuz I think what was happening is
1:39:10like, you know, the show this you can
1:39:13feel when something loses steam
1:39:16and the show is literally like this show
1:39:18which
1:39:19Trisha would come with her phone with
1:39:20some hot topics. He would come with his
1:39:22phone with some hot topics
1:39:24and would bind the show somehow between
1:39:25those hot topics. Like you said, between
1:39:28stories from life and all that. But
1:39:30sometimes if there's a slow news week or
1:39:32something, you can only imagine a show
1:39:34that was that good because dynamic if
1:39:35there was one more person, let's say
1:39:37like you, that actually provides the hot
1:39:39topics, the news, the B-roll, the
1:39:42>> Well, that wasn't what I was feeling.
1:39:44>> that's what was missing, you know, and
1:39:46and
1:39:46>> That's not what I was feeling. I was
1:39:47saying because okay, so then at that
1:39:49point it was it was okay, what I was
1:39:50saying is um like he started involving
1:39:53more of the H3 crew, which weren't
1:39:54weren't involved from the beginning
1:39:55because we were a COVID show. So it was
1:39:57really just Dan, me, and Ethan and then
1:39:58Moses was there, but like didn't really
1:40:00like contribute anything to the show
1:40:01because he didn't have a microphone or
1:40:02anything. So Dan would be there too. And
1:40:03so he started incorporating more of his
1:40:05like H3 crew, which I wasn' so familiar
1:40:08with, but they like started coming
1:40:09around and they like started coming up
1:40:10with segment ideas and stuff like that.
1:40:11And just kind of like,
1:40:12which is fine, obviously. I Like you
1:40:14said, the show was like losing some
1:40:15steam. Sam was great. She was always
1:40:17doing like those cute little bunny
1:40:18things and stuff like that. So she was
1:40:19great. It was good because there was
1:40:20only one female there at the time. There
1:40:21was no He never hired women before. Um
1:40:24it was Dan, Zack, Ian.
1:40:26That was it. Um and then AB, I guess AB
1:40:28too. Um but I didn't like But and then
1:40:30Sam came later, which is Ian. Anyways,
1:40:33so she came and I was like, well, she's
1:40:34great, whatever. And I And I thought
1:40:35they were all fine, but I was like, oh,
1:40:36it'd be nice to have someone that kind
1:40:37of like understood me. That's where I
1:40:38was coming from. It wasn't even like I
1:40:39didn't even think about like hot topics
1:40:40or anything like that. It was more just
1:40:41like, oh, it'd be nice to have like
1:40:43Where's the gay one? Like I wanted
1:40:45someone, you know, that understood and
1:40:46what you know, like the the stuff we
1:40:48were doing.
1:40:49>> because you were you were trying to do
1:40:50more I remember you were like pitching
1:40:52more like musical theater stuff or just
1:40:53stuff that you were interested in and
1:40:54then no one cared about it. So then it
1:40:56just like you would it would go into the
1:40:58void. Like you would suggest thing Yeah.
1:40:59>> Yeah, I was cuz we were doing We were
1:41:01supposed to do a rage room the next day
1:41:02and you know how I felt about that. And
1:41:03it was nothing against the crew. It was
1:41:05nothing against Ethan. Like I I hate
1:41:06rage rooms. There's a whole thing
1:41:08obviously like growing up there was a
1:41:09lot of like tempers and my dad had a
1:41:11temper and stuff like that. I just did
1:41:12not want to do this rage room, which I
1:41:13>> It's like you were like jumped in
1:41:14Hollywood like three times.
1:41:15>> Yeah. I Rage room Exactly. Rage rooms I
1:41:18I get really like triggered. I think
1:41:19that's like my biggest attraction to
1:41:20Moses is like his calmness cuz it's like
1:41:21I get super super triggered by that kind
1:41:23of stuff. Anyways, they didn't know. I
1:41:25should have just probably told him that,
1:41:26but I was like, God, it would be nice if
1:41:27I just like you said and I think I said
1:41:29on the show like I wanted to do Cirque
1:41:30du Soleil. And he's like, that's so
1:41:31crazy. Like how would we even come up
1:41:33with doing that? I was like, well, you
1:41:33guys can come up with like literally
1:41:34everything else. We rented the thing,
1:41:36which is why we did the Cirque du Soleil
1:41:37like after cuz I was like, it's really
1:41:38not that hard. But anyways, I digress.
1:41:40And then of course it gets brought up.
1:41:42He's like, well, what do you Where do we
1:41:43get that money? And I was like, well,
1:41:44isn't that the whole point of like the
1:41:45highlights was all for production costs
1:41:47and like what production costs? So then
1:41:49the money I think once I brought up
1:41:50money thing, I think obviously that was
1:41:52a trigger for Ethan.
1:41:53>> topic, yeah.
1:41:54>> And so I talk about it in the book and
1:41:56stuff like that cuz
1:41:57like it was it truly was never about the
1:41:59money. Like I was actually like so happy
1:42:01with everything. It was more of like
1:42:03where, oh, we have money for production.
1:42:05And specifically
1:42:07the infamous 5%, it was he always said
1:42:09that extra was for the crew. It has it
1:42:10from day one of our text messages that
1:42:12he wanted to give them a little more. So
1:42:13I said, okay, we're making a lot. So
1:42:15that extra 5%, which is actually 10% if
1:42:16you think about it, 45 to 55, um is
1:42:18actually quite a lot of money where we
1:42:20could hire another person. And he kind
1:42:22of was. He brought Sam on um for
1:42:23everything. It wasn't just Frenemies.
1:42:24She was doing H3 as well. So I was like,
1:42:26oh, it would be kind of nice if like I
1:42:27could have a say in that too because
1:42:29obviously it's our podcast. And I think
1:42:31it just like triggered everything and um
1:42:34>> Cuz I think that's what comes down to is
1:42:36is it our show or not? You know what I
1:42:38mean? Like are we are we equals in this
1:42:41or not?
1:42:42>> Which he said we weren't later on. At
1:42:44first he was like, oh, we're like we're
1:42:45equals. And then later on he's like,
1:42:46we're the production company. Cuz he was
1:42:47like, I can show you all the money. And
1:42:48then he's just like, well, I'm the
1:42:49production company. You're just the
1:42:50talent. I'll show you.
1:42:51Whatever. So I was just like
1:42:53but he was like weirdly after that
1:42:54happened and I like walked off. I didn't
1:42:55think it was like even that big of a
1:42:56deal.
1:42:58And then after I walked off then he's
1:42:58like, well, if you want to hire someone
1:43:00like send me. And I sent I sent Oscar's
1:43:02I sent his resume. I sent his thing. I
1:43:04said, oh, this guy Oscar, like he's he's
1:43:05so great. Like he would be amazing. And
1:43:07Ethan's like, yeah, done. Like we'll
1:43:09hire him, whatever.
1:43:10And then obviously something's
1:43:11happening. I don't know. I don't know if
1:43:12Reddit's exploding cuz they get the
1:43:14Frenemies episode earlier or if it's him
1:43:16exploding. I don't know what's
1:43:17happening. Next thing I know is like you
1:43:19better not come like don't come to the
1:43:20rage room tomorrow. Like um let the crew
1:43:22cool off. Like they're not happy that
1:43:24you like want them all fired. And I was
1:43:25like, what? Like where never in a
1:43:27million years would I say that. I think
1:43:29that's where like my frustration my big
1:43:31one of my biggest frustrations about the
1:43:32lies is like in the final episode of
1:43:34Frenemies, which everyone released the
1:43:35episode. I was like,
1:43:37we we can't but I
1:43:39I what I appreciated about the last
1:43:41episode of Frenemies, we filmed it three
1:43:42weeks after this, is like
1:43:45I was like, look up the text cuz he
1:43:46would say I wanted the whole crew fired.
1:43:47Then he said, well, you told me you
1:43:48wouldn't come back if Dan was here,
1:43:50which I would never say cuz who the
1:43:51running the show if Dan's not here? Like
1:43:52we're just going to sit here and
1:43:54>> Dan did everything.
1:43:55>> Dan did everything. I I thought I got
1:43:57along with Dan fine. I don't know if Dan
1:43:58liked me in return. I thought we were
1:43:59fine and whatever the banter of it all.
1:44:01But um I was like, what? So then I'm
1:44:03like I literally sat there and I was
1:44:04like, find find that text. So then, you
1:44:07know, Ethan's sitting there for like
1:44:08literally like 20 minutes of the final
1:44:10episode of Frenemies.
1:44:11Uh like I I can't find. And then he's
1:44:13like sees oh, well maybe I misunderstood
1:44:15where what you said here or something. I
1:44:16don't know. Like he was just there was
1:44:18clearly no text and clearly no text that
1:44:19I wanted the crew fired cuz that's So
1:44:21then that became a thing and obviously
1:44:24used it all and um I guess just me
1:44:26saying I wanted to hire someone new is
1:44:29how he misunderstood that I wanted
1:44:31Dan fired. I don't know. I'm not really
1:44:33sure how that happened, but so then that
1:44:35became the thing. So the next day when
1:44:36he's like you you know you shouldn't
1:44:37come to the rage room, we'll just film
1:44:39the vlog on our own.
1:44:41Then I made the the I I quit Frenemies,
1:44:43which again I thought I make this video,
1:44:46we get back Monday and everything is
1:44:47like fine again, but then he made the
1:44:50video the next day and um
1:44:53yeah just went it just really went uh
1:44:56yeah just like completely he went from
1:44:58like you know never abandon you, we're
1:45:00always there, like nothing you can say
1:45:02will ever offend me to like she wanted
1:45:04the whole crew fired and all this. And
1:45:05then you know that's when everything
1:45:06turned and we had a lot of power and
1:45:09obviously a lot of that is from Ethan's
1:45:10Reddit and stuff like that which I
1:45:11wasn't like even on and um
1:45:14I think that was that was the bad thing
1:45:16about Frenemies too is like and honestly
1:45:18again another thankful thing that it
1:45:19ended I was like devastated at the time
1:45:21cuz it was it was everything. It was
1:45:23like this whole redemption arc. It felt
1:45:25so nice to have someone have my back
1:45:26when it came to everyone from David and
1:45:29Jason to Mr. Raine to like all these
1:45:32things it felt so nice to have that
1:45:33support and then to have it all not only
1:45:36taken away but like flipped on you is
1:45:37like
1:45:39when I talk about karma and instant
1:45:40karma and like it hit like a ton of
1:45:43bricks where I was just like
1:45:45cuz even if I'm in the right about
1:45:46everything I said about David, about
1:45:47Jason, about everyone like
1:45:49I think that same amount of energy that
1:45:51hate train that we were um making, you
1:45:54know
1:45:55came back at me tenfold and it like
1:45:58ruined my life and it continued to. And
1:46:00um yeah and then we did that last
1:46:02episode of Frenemies and everything was
1:46:03kind of fine. And I was like wow I
1:46:05remember we went to Chili's after and I
1:46:06was like wow like that felt so good that
1:46:09we both apologized and we both made
1:46:10amends. I did one final walk off and
1:46:12that was it. We weren't going to
1:46:13continue. It was like episode 40 and
1:46:14that was it.
1:46:15And
1:46:17>> Whose idea was the last episode?
1:46:19>> Um
1:46:21>> Well, they they just made the merch.
1:46:24>> Oh, yeah.
1:46:24>> I think one of them he asked you to come
1:46:26back to to help promote the merch
1:46:28>> Yes.
1:46:29>> because they put money into making the
1:46:31merch and then
1:46:33So and you of course wanted to help them
1:46:36sell the merch so they're not, you know,
1:46:38financially stranded with that.
1:46:40>> And I knew it would be a hit. Like I
1:46:42knew people would like be for it and
1:46:43especially the quality of their clothes
1:46:44back then. I remember that I remember
1:46:47the the design was from a previous Teddy
1:46:48Fresh one, the half beige, half black,
1:46:50and I Ethan gave me his his hoodie and I
1:46:52loved it. I wore that hoodie all the
1:46:53time. I thought, oh my gosh, it's so
1:46:54great. So then when Frenemies we had
1:46:55that divide I was like this is like the
1:46:56perfect hoodie. Obviously Hila and Teddy
1:46:59Fresh and everyone came up with it. I
1:46:59thought it was so cool and I was so
1:47:01happy that he wanted me to even come
1:47:03promote it back and obviously I wanted
1:47:04people to not hate me because I was
1:47:06getting 3 weeks of hate and I loved
1:47:08Frenemies and I thought, well, even if
1:47:10there's a chance it could come back in
1:47:11the future or we just end amicably that
1:47:13would be so nice and it was. It was like
1:47:14such a So but then that day I do
1:47:17remember he like scheduled the day. I'm
1:47:19not going to just show up unannounced. I
1:47:20remember he scheduled the day and I
1:47:21remember I was like, hey, like on my way
1:47:23or I'm here or something like that and
1:47:24he's like,
1:47:25oh, like I forgot it was happening today
1:47:27or something and I was like, okay, and
1:47:28we were just kind of sitting outside the
1:47:29gates. We weren't like even in. I'm
1:47:30like, do you want me to like leave or
1:47:32like He's like, no, no, let's just do
1:47:33it.
1:47:34And I was like, okay, so obviously like
1:47:35caught him off guard or something. There
1:47:37was no merch. He didn't have the merch
1:47:38yet because we didn't wear it. I came
1:47:40with a pink and black hair because I was
1:47:41going to wear the merch and stuff like
1:47:42that and then it wasn't
1:47:44it wasn't there yet, but
1:47:45we ended up doing like a regular show.
1:47:47We talked about James Charles and our
1:47:48mutual It was like literally a mutual
1:47:49Like something stupid he was doing and I
1:47:51was like, James Charles like [laughter]
1:47:52It was It was like this mutual like
1:47:53hatred I suppose, but but we did talk
1:47:55about like in the first half like so
1:47:57much of what happened and we we hugged,
1:47:59we cried, and then Dan I think was the
1:48:01one that was like, oh, you know, you
1:48:02should like walk off as part of like,
1:48:03you know, the final ending of it. I was
1:48:05like, oh, that's kind of cute so you
1:48:06could show all the times I walked off
1:48:07and now we're ending in a happy way.
1:48:09And yeah, after Chili's and then we went
1:48:11to Chili's and I was like, oh my gosh,
1:48:12like that went so good. Like it's going
1:48:13to feel so nice that people don't think
1:48:15that I'm like wanting the crew fired.
1:48:16Like all this like just really wild
1:48:18stuff. And then yeah, and then he texted
1:48:20me and said it was too much stress
1:48:22on Hila cuz she was pregnant. I don't
1:48:24know what's true with him anymore. Like
1:48:25I don't know if he talked to Hila cuz I
1:48:26don't know if she cared. I don't know.
1:48:27Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. Maybe
1:48:28he didn't talk to her, maybe he did. I
1:48:29have no clue. I can't really like
1:48:30speculate that. But he's like it's just
1:48:32too stressful. Like everything, Ethan
1:48:33always blames somebody. It's never like
1:48:35him just not wanting to air the episode,
1:48:36but
1:48:37I was like damn, and I even said I was
1:48:39like damn, that really sucks. And so
1:48:41anyways, I was like well that sucks that
1:48:43that's not airing.
1:48:44Um anyways, they put out the Frenemies
1:48:45merch, it sells out. They did give me
1:48:4715% of that and so I know it did well
1:48:50cuz I got 15% and I was like well damn,
1:48:51it did really well and it sold out. And
1:48:53um
1:48:56um and then
1:48:58let's see what happened from there. And
1:48:59then and then kind of like all
1:49:00hell broke loose cuz you know
1:49:04I don't know. I don't know. I guess I
1:49:05guess you know I did I did the podcast
1:49:07with like Keemstar and that was like to
1:49:08me they they were talking badly about me
1:49:10and then I went on Keemstar and they
1:49:11thought that was like the ultimate
1:49:13betrayal, which is crazy cuz now they're
1:49:14friends with Keemstar. I don't know.
1:49:14Like it was this whole thing and I think
1:49:15that's like what really set them off and
1:49:17then that's when it was kind of like
1:49:19it became aggressive, it became
1:49:20relentless, it became harassment, it
1:49:22became
1:49:22>> there's no middle ground. You're either
1:49:24a friend of the show or you're an enemy.
1:49:25>> Mhm.
1:49:26>> There's no middle ground. So even for me
1:49:28I'm like I have nothing to do with any
1:49:29of this, but me sticking
1:49:32with you, being with you means um part
1:49:35of the enemy.
1:49:36>> Mhm.
1:49:37>> So I'm fair game now too.
1:49:39So attacks on all levels, everywhere. So
1:49:41it's like
1:49:42all so that's that's just how it works
1:49:44and kind of like and that why people a
1:49:46lot of people talk about it like very
1:49:48cultish in that way of like
1:49:50there is no you know like the minute you
1:49:54are not in control anymore
1:49:56they the minute they can control you
1:49:58anymore that's it.
1:49:59You're you're a free agent, you're an
1:50:01enemy. You're not part of the cult.
1:50:03>> Cuz you've known them since the
1:50:04beginning. You've been so close to them.
1:50:06Like I feel like
1:50:08early on at Frenemies I said something
1:50:09like
1:50:09>> the number one fan. I mean I was the
1:50:11number one fan from day one and
1:50:13>> you like
1:50:14were in vlogs. Like there's vlogs of
1:50:16them you know back in like Israel and
1:50:18there at his like mom's house and stuff
1:50:20like that.
1:50:21their fans knew of you and stuff like
1:50:23that. Like, I feel like you were you
1:50:25were like close with them. So they knew
1:50:26you as a person. They know who you are
1:50:27as a person. They know you're a good
1:50:28person. They know the people you
1:50:29surround yourself with, who you worked
1:50:30with, and like they always they even on
1:50:32my first episode that I was on where I
1:50:33mentioned you, they're like he's a
1:50:34really hard worker.
1:50:35>> talked about me
1:50:36positively until they felt like
1:50:39[clears throat] they can control me. So
1:50:40then
1:50:41>> Well, that's where it kind of then I
1:50:43realized like oh my gosh, this is
1:50:44getting like scary cuz it wasn't just
1:50:46me. It was like Moses, obviously my
1:50:47sister, and you know, it just it it just
1:50:49became really nasty. And I think of all
1:50:51the fallings out that I've had,
1:50:53um it's like fine if there's like truths
1:50:55out there, even if there's not truths,
1:50:56even it's like I crashed a car into
1:50:58someone's like living room or something
1:50:59like that. It's like I can combat a lot
1:51:00of things, but it was like just
1:51:02relentless. And it was just like we
1:51:04were, you know, trying to get pregnant
1:51:06at the time and they would see one
1:51:07little thing from like the IVF clinic
1:51:09where I did the HSG test and they would
1:51:10call that. It was just it just became
1:51:11like so so scary. Obviously the Mr.
1:51:14Riney stuff really came about.
1:51:16And you know, Ethan calling for justice
1:51:19for him and the whole crew and everyone
1:51:21nodding and just being like yeah, like
1:51:23she lied. Like it was insane. It became
1:51:25like really insane. They were promoting
1:51:27Reddit that were really hateful and
1:51:28being like I visit every day and
1:51:30everyone around was doing this and it
1:51:32was just
1:51:32I could not
1:51:33>> going from being like you know, she's my
1:51:35bestie, we're best friends, we're doing
1:51:36this show
1:51:38to then cuz I think it was like a 45
1:51:40minute video of him sitting alone
1:51:42talking about why Frenemies ended.
1:51:44>> Yeah.
1:51:45>> And basically like oh and
1:51:47suddenly like just compiling, which is
1:51:49kind of like classic cancel culture,
1:51:51compiling everything possible that could
1:51:53be said about her,
1:51:55true or not true, making fun of my
1:51:57Tourette's, anti-Semitic,
1:51:59right? So
1:52:01putting out there that she's
1:52:02anti-Semitic and pushing that agenda
1:52:05over and over again.
1:52:06>> that was printed by Kat that said like
1:52:08here's all the ways she's anti-Semitic,
1:52:09which I've been sitting next to Ethan
1:52:11this whole time.
1:52:11>> Beard making a video about Anyway,
1:52:13getting to a point where later on it's
1:52:15more beneficial to say that she's a
1:52:17Zionist. So now Trisha is a raging
1:52:19Zionist, right?
1:52:21Same person.
1:52:21>> supremacist in like the past month. Am I
1:52:23getting my Am I anti-Semitic or am I
1:52:24Jewish supremacist? Like, what is it?
1:52:25>> same person, but it doesn't matter. The
1:52:28people that follow, they're like a cult.
1:52:30It doesn't matter. Whatever is said,
1:52:32that's what we're going to repeat and
1:52:33that's how we're going to spam it cuz
1:52:34that's what's going to create the most
1:52:36damage to the person that we're going
1:52:38after.
1:52:39So, but again, this is the same person.
1:52:40So you have to decide like one or the
1:52:42other. You can't just spew every
1:52:44possible lie about people at any given
1:52:46moment.
1:52:47>> trivia. Like he obviously knew,
1:52:48obviously being with you, and then he
1:52:49would call you like a self-hating Jew.
1:52:50Like it was just self-hating Jew to
1:52:52Zionist to this. It's just like it's
1:52:54It was it was it was just like you
1:52:56couldn't combat it. And then obviously
1:52:57all that time, I mean that's when I like
1:52:59that's when I go through the psychosis
1:53:00in 2021 and you know,
1:53:03before I met Moses, didn't even know
1:53:04where Israel was. Like everyone's just
1:53:06like, oh, she's been this, they've been
1:53:07promoting this and
1:53:08there's misconceptions of things after
1:53:10October What is October 7th of oh,
1:53:11they're promoting like they're they work
1:53:13for Israel, never got paid for Israel.
1:53:15That like reality show we did
1:53:17>> up lies. People pay us
1:53:18>> did that they continued harassing I We
1:53:21both begged. We both begged after
1:53:22October 7th happened because that was
1:53:24filmed before. We're like, can we please
1:53:26be We have to be taken off the show
1:53:28because it didn't air for 4 years, that
1:53:30show.
1:53:30>> the thing is the show aired so many
1:53:33years ago. Malibu was
1:53:35a few months old. Like she was a baby, a
1:53:37few months old, right? So at least 3 and
1:53:381/2 years ago.
1:53:40And then the show was about people that
1:53:42are from Israel that live in Los
1:53:44Angeles.
1:53:45That was the subject of the show and
1:53:47their lives here and especially
1:53:49>> or something, wasn't it? Yeah.
1:53:50>> Americans. Then after October 7th, they
1:53:53didn't know what to do with the show.
1:53:55They didn't know how to repackage it.
1:53:56And then they were like, let's create
1:53:58the show Let's make this show about
1:54:00Zionism.
1:54:01>> And propaganda. And we're like
1:54:03>> repackaged the show as a show that is
1:54:05there to promote Zionism. And then we
1:54:07called everyone, top to bottom of the
1:54:10company. We're like, we're not
1:54:11participating in this. We're not part of
1:54:13this. This is not what we signed up for
1:54:15and it's not what we believe in. So you
1:54:18can't do that and you can't use our
1:54:19children, our friends, our family, and
1:54:21us to do that. And it really got to like
1:54:23a legal battle of like legality, right?
1:54:26And we were able at least to pull you
1:54:28out of it cuz they didn't have the right
1:54:30documents for
1:54:31>> I didn't sign.
1:54:31>> to use your likeness.
1:54:33We did everything we could. So they did
1:54:36cut her out. They minimized my part to
1:54:38the minimum that they could, but they
1:54:39still used it against our will.
1:54:42And uh they blurred Malibu's face.
1:54:45But some people that signed the the
1:54:47release forms, they still used them
1:54:49against their will.
1:54:50And again, then that's that's the danger
1:54:52of reality shows to everyone that
1:54:53doesn't know. You know, reality shows
1:54:55are not You never get paid for it. We
1:54:57never got paid for it. It was Everything
1:54:59that was
1:55:00>> a
1:55:01>> so much for
1:55:02>> They like throw a party for Israel 75
1:55:04and we're like And I knew nothing. And
1:55:06there's so many clips and I just like I
1:55:07feel like I just want to say this like
1:55:08once and for all cuz it's another thing
1:55:09that's like so frustrating to hear. You
1:55:11know, I never heard of Israel before
1:55:12Moses. I meet Moses and if if Moses was
1:55:14Chinese, if he was Mexican, I would be
1:55:16going It's like with like Ari and Tony,
1:55:18too. Like anything if there's like a
1:55:19Mexican culture day, like I will
1:55:20celebrate any of it cuz I like love
1:55:22culture. I always say this. I always do.
1:55:23So I was like I went hard into it. I was
1:55:24like, oh, we're celebrating Passover
1:55:26now. We're doing Hanukkah. Didn't know
1:55:27Israel. The first thing
1:55:28>> to do that out of her love to me, not
1:55:30love to the country cuz she didn't even
1:55:31know
1:55:32>> know where it was. Didn't know it was in
1:55:33the Middle East. Would never know. And
1:55:34then you showed me the you don't mess
1:55:35with the Zohan, which is like my only
1:55:37introduction to Israel and Palestine,
1:55:38which is like Adam Sandler's Israel and
1:55:40John Turturro is like a Palestinian like
1:55:42person who owns a restaurant here. And
1:55:44it's like they make it very tongue and
1:55:45cheek and very like, oh, Palestine
1:55:47versus Israel here in the US. And they
1:55:48they they they end them with hummus and
1:55:50it's just like it's such a silly campy
1:55:52movie. So there's early clips of me
1:55:54talking to Moses and I was like, where
1:55:55is Israel? He's just like, no. And you
1:55:57see the horror in Moses's face.
1:55:58>> you're just equating that with Adam
1:56:00Sandler.
1:56:00>> Yeah, I was like, oh, it's like not that
1:56:01serious. Never heard of it in my life.
1:56:03Never heard and I don't know if that's
1:56:04ignorant. I don't know if we weren't
1:56:04taught it. Never heard. Didn't know
1:56:05Israel was in the Middle East.
1:56:06>> We would talk about it cuz I would try
1:56:07to, you know, teach her about what my
1:56:10experience was and what we know. And
1:56:12even on the Jess Trish on your original
1:56:15podcast, we're there and we're talking
1:56:17about it.
1:56:18And I was trying to tell her like how
1:56:19awful the Palestinian experience is and
1:56:22how awful their life is. And you know,
1:56:25as much as like life in Israel wasn't
1:56:27easy, that's nothing compared to what's
1:56:28going on in Palestine.
1:56:31And then even even that was misconstrued
1:56:32by some people, but but we were talking
1:56:34about that years and years ago, you
1:56:37know, and she never been there and she
1:56:39didn't know the experience.
1:56:40So we would always talk about it and try
1:56:42to learn about it.
1:56:43>> Yeah, like no idea. And then obviously
1:56:46there's a reason why you're over here.
1:56:47Um IDF, all that stuff is like you have
1:56:49to do that when you're over there.
1:56:51That's why Moses like our kids speak
1:56:53Spanish and English. They don't know any
1:56:54Hebrew, not one. They they call you Abba
1:56:56because that's how you grew up and
1:56:57whatever like that, but they don't know
1:56:58one thing and I was like you should
1:56:59speak Hebrew to our kids and he's
1:57:00Moses's biggest fear and as we know
1:57:02people from that show too would have
1:57:04their adult kids that were born and
1:57:05raised in Beverly Hills go join the IDF
1:57:07at 18 cuz they're like conditioned to do
1:57:09that. So he's like the last thing I
1:57:10would ever want is Malibu to go to
1:57:12Israel and join the the and that's what
1:57:14they do. They learn Hebrew. They want to
1:57:15be a part of the culture. That's why
1:57:16people go over there. And I think a lot
1:57:17of people, Seth Rogan, a lot of people
1:57:19who are conditioned to feel one way
1:57:20about Israel like obviously learning so
1:57:22many truths now, obviously that's
1:57:24horrific, but then for you know Ethan
1:57:26and and Hila to bring up that Israeli
1:57:28reality show and be like oh Trisha,
1:57:30you're the biggest why are why why are
1:57:32you bored out? You did this whole show
1:57:33like they they watched every episode of
1:57:35it. They made sure people were aware of
1:57:37it and it was like
1:57:39it was it was it's also dangerous to do
1:57:40that because that's not our views. We
1:57:42chose to be out of the show and I went
1:57:44from being an anti-semite where Business
1:57:45Insider Cats writing an article that's
1:57:47in print forever, Ryan Beard saying I'm
1:57:49a Nazi, all these things to now oh now
1:57:50I'm a Jewish promise I'm the big I'm the
1:57:52most raging Zionist ever and that's all
1:57:53I keep seeing. So it's just like
1:57:55so frustrating. And why do people say
1:57:57that? It's because of that it's because
1:57:59of Ethan. Like he just would he would he
1:58:01would relentless.
1:58:02>> they got paid for it. They Israeli
1:58:04government is paying them. Like stuff
1:58:05like that I'm like completely false.
1:58:07There's no
1:58:08>> was at a time before the podcast. We
1:58:09were trying everything. One of your
1:58:11friends was like they're looking for
1:58:12Americans reality
1:58:14>> Yeah, we were debating if to do it or
1:58:15not, but we were literally unemployed,
1:58:17you know, and we were like okay
1:58:18something comes your way, you do it, you
1:58:20do the best you can.
1:58:21>> And we were just hoping it would lead to
1:58:22something anyways it would like lead to
1:58:23something whatever it was
1:58:25it was it was stupid and I was stupid
1:58:27and obviously I've said a lot of stupid
1:58:29things, but then obviously when the
1:58:32when that when October 7th happened,
1:58:33that just changed the everyone, the
1:58:34whole world, the way we see Israel and
1:58:36Palestine. Like it's all it's all
1:58:38horrific and obviously yeah, all those
1:58:39old clips is like it's horrific and we
1:58:42never shared those you never had those
1:58:43beliefs, we never
1:58:45perpetrated any of that propaganda
1:58:46anyways. We never kept it going, but
1:58:48all that to say
1:58:49>> people mix up your love and respect to
1:58:52me and what you think is my culture, at
1:58:53least what you thought is my culture cuz
1:58:55even like did the song I Love You Moses
1:58:57and that's where we had that big flag.
1:58:59>> Yeah, I thought it was like a Jewish
1:59:01flag and it's like the Israeli flag.
1:59:02Yeah.
1:59:03>> for the music video.
1:59:04So then, you know, when we had the show
1:59:06that flag was stored somewhere in the
1:59:07garage and
1:59:09like all I'm saying like things come
1:59:11from a place of her loving me and trying
1:59:14to
1:59:15connect with my culture
1:59:16>> Yeah.
1:59:17>> and then over time realizing what the
1:59:19culture is and what things are, you
1:59:21know, good and what things are bad and
1:59:23what things
1:59:24and and why I actually don't identify
1:59:26with that culture.
1:59:28>> And why you left it and all that and I
1:59:29didn't know.
1:59:30>> and it takes time. It takes time to
1:59:31learn that, but
1:59:32>> sell the IDF shirts in the airport at
1:59:34Israel. Like you know what I mean? So
1:59:35I'm like to me it's like like the
1:59:36airports here that say California I was
1:59:37like well, you know, that's like no
1:59:39idea. Like I you know where everyone's
1:59:40so proud of military here like no clue,
1:59:42like no clue and I'm I wouldn't even say
1:59:44that to just like excuse anything other
1:59:46than like just blindness, like
1:59:48stupidity, ignorance, all of it. Like I
1:59:49had zero clue. I just thought it was
1:59:51something I don't know, like I that that
1:59:53I do is I love cultures and I try to
1:59:55like incorporate it. So
1:59:56all that to say it's like
1:59:57>> your husband. It's not like
1:59:58>> Yeah, and it's and it's all it's all
2:00:01sad. We do know Israeli people that also
2:00:02don't support the government and it's
2:00:04it's all sad. Like there's there's real
2:00:05human people. It's like we don't support
2:00:06do we support Trump? No, it's like but
2:00:08we're here in this country and it's like
2:00:09it just sucks that we get that
2:00:11association. Anyways, I mean sidetracked
2:00:12all that to say is like, you know, for
2:00:14years anything that was brought up, you
2:00:16know, if we do anything like a video
2:00:18with our kids, it's like oh my gosh,
2:00:19like he called it child abuse for
2:00:21Aquaman to be named Aquaman. Like it's
2:00:22just
2:00:23I'm getting a little sidetracked, but
2:00:25it was 2021 that was that would all come
2:00:27to a head.
2:00:28>> not normal like
2:00:30you know
2:00:31exposing back and forth. It's like a
2:00:32very intense, very below the belt,
2:00:36targeted. I mean, the hate is like it's
2:00:40not normal hate. And I feel like a lot
2:00:41of people don't really know all the
2:00:43details either, but like there is so
2:00:45much in like the whole I mean, it's like
2:00:48weaponizing your sex work. It's anytime
2:00:49you had
2:00:50anytime we had any kind of like small
2:00:53sponsorship, not a huge sponsor, it
2:00:54would be like, you know, just enough to
2:00:56pay us in the beginning.
2:00:58>> gone.
2:00:58>> Gone, yeah.
2:00:59>> And because of the harassment, I mean,
2:01:00up until this year, they were doing it.
2:01:02And like luckily, companies know and
2:01:03they could see it cuz he was like
2:01:04targeting and like saying all this stuff
2:01:06and like Zionism and this. I mean,
2:01:08again, I don't know we can what we have
2:01:10time for, but like the Joana and Ramsey
2:01:11video too, I see that get brought up all
2:01:13the time. And it was like literally a
2:01:14monologue work that I was doing for
2:01:16acting class. And obviously, there were
2:01:17similarities, but it was not OF, it
2:01:19wasn't fetish, it wasn't mocking anyone.
2:01:21It was like an acting monologue that I
2:01:22was doing cuz I used to post them all
2:01:23the time. There was ones from American
2:01:24Beauty, there was ones from different
2:01:25And it was this like monologue that I
2:01:27was doing and everyone's like that gets
2:01:28brought up and it get it just it's just
2:01:31countless countless things that are just
2:01:33like untrue and it gets taken out of and
2:01:36he spins it that way. And it's just been
2:01:37years of this and it's just every major
2:01:39life event I had right after the
2:01:41wedding, it's it's
2:01:43gloves off and he just goes insane on
2:01:45us. And it's just like after we have a
2:01:47baby, before we even announced
2:01:48>> Like in everyone, he was like them like
2:01:51they're not here anymore I can talk.
2:01:52>> gone now I can say whatever the [ __ ] I
2:01:54want. It's like Trisha's mom the womb
2:01:55she came out of like all this crazy
2:01:56[ __ ]
2:01:57[snorts] And then even every time we had
2:01:59a baby, every time talk about oh, you
2:02:00don't want to post last episode of
2:02:01Frenemies because he was pregnant. You
2:02:03have Ethan's mom texting Moses it's she
2:02:05has a miscarriage because of Trisha. I
2:02:06was pregnant three years and the and
2:02:08harassment didn't stop from either of
2:02:10them or anyone on the crew. Like it just
2:02:12all our babies, everything. It just
2:02:14mocking the Elvis name they were mocking
2:02:16Aquaman when when Elvis was born, they
2:02:19said it early and stuff like that cuz
2:02:21your family obviously told him and just
2:02:22like really
2:02:23nasty. It's just every major life event
2:02:25I had it was just like how can they make
2:02:27it about themselves? And so I guess all
2:02:28that to say it just feels like
2:02:30relief and I don't the last thing I want
2:02:32to do is like continue on Like, I don't
2:02:34want to do like victory laps. I don't
2:02:35want to like continue on it. I'm I'm
2:02:37happy enough with just the peace, and I
2:02:39feel like
2:02:41if this is my one chance to say it, cuz
2:02:42again, when I do interviews, they do ask
2:02:43about the frenemies. They don't go in
2:02:44depth like this, like that. I just feel
2:02:46like for so long all these lies were
2:02:48being told, and it's just like there was
2:02:49no
2:02:50chance to like
2:02:52>> Yeah, and then there's no
2:02:53>> set the record straight.
2:02:54>> And there's no victory here cuz there's
2:02:56no war. We were never We were just
2:02:58trying to live in peace,
2:03:00and that's it. We just trying to live
2:03:01>> flag. We been trying to surrender.
2:03:03>> our life. That's it. There's no victory
2:03:05here. Like, everyone everyone is hurt,
2:03:07including their own fans. Like, I used
2:03:10to be their number one fan. I used to
2:03:11watch the show religiously,
2:03:13um and and I know what it's like. You
2:03:16know, they have fans that have followed
2:03:17them from the beginning when they were
2:03:19just two young artists starting their
2:03:22way in the world
2:03:24um gaining success and really building
2:03:26an empire.
2:03:27And everyone were, you know, rooting for
2:03:29them, behind them, watching them, and it
2:03:32was
2:03:33for for the majority of their fans, they
2:03:34are people that watch them every day.
2:03:37And suddenly that's gone. That whole
2:03:39thing is gone. The whole dream is gone,
2:03:42you know, cuz whenever you would go to
2:03:44their shows, meet and greets, it would
2:03:45be couples just like them. They
2:03:47basically be
2:03:48the same, you know what I mean? And it's
2:03:49like
2:03:50>> Quirky guy and like a yeah.
2:03:51>> when that
2:03:52is shattered in front of your eyes, I
2:03:54mean, so all of their fans are left now
2:03:56with the grief and the this huge hole,
2:04:00you know, of something that was part of
2:04:01their life for many, many years.
2:04:05Everybody is lost. Everybody lost
2:04:06something here.
2:04:08He lost the family Like, everyone. This
2:04:10is Nobody won. There's no victory laps
2:04:13and there's no
2:04:15Nothing good came out of it. This is
2:04:17like a really, really horrible
2:04:18situation.
2:04:19>> And so I say all of this stuff cuz it's
2:04:21just like
2:04:22it feels just like I can like breathe
2:04:24and I can set some records straight cuz
2:04:26I would have loved to I wouldn't even
2:04:27say combat, just like defend ourselves
2:04:28cuz it's honestly like when they it's
2:04:30like lies it's like but that there is no
2:04:32truth to that and it's like you can only
2:04:33do so much and like the energy you give
2:04:35it to so it's like it feels like the one
2:04:37time I can just say it all. And then
2:04:38like I would love to never talk about it
2:04:40again. And I feel like I won't after
2:04:41this. I feel like,
2:04:42even even
2:04:44before the book came out and everything
2:04:45like that, like when I was doing
2:04:45interviews like at the beginning like
2:04:472022 or 2023 I would tell people like I
2:04:49don't want to talk about Frenemies, I
2:04:50don't want to talk about Ethan or
2:04:50whatever like that. But in the past
2:04:52couple of years like no one even brings
2:04:53it up. I don't have to give that
2:04:53disclaimer. Like it is such a People are
2:04:55like it was 5 years ago. Yeah, I mean
2:04:57it's it's it is so far back and it was a
2:04:59moment in time, but it was only 9
2:05:01months. And I think like to your point
2:05:02too a lot of the fans were sad that it
2:05:03was over because everyone watched every
2:05:05week. So I'm sure they were angry at me
2:05:06because they thought I ended it or that
2:05:07I wanted it to end.
2:05:09And so it just is like
2:05:12yeah, it's just kind of like the end of
2:05:13this chapter.
2:05:15And like I I hope everything as well and
2:05:17like they they they're with the kids and
2:05:18like I hope the crew like I would never
2:05:20wish what they wished on us, which was
2:05:22cancellation, losing our livelihood.
2:05:23Like I see the videos from their crew. I
2:05:25see people scared for their jobs and
2:05:26it's the worst place to be. And I we
2:05:29were there and we lost all of it and the
2:05:31harassment never stopped and I like
2:05:32wouldn't wish that on anyone. So I hope
2:05:34things change. I do believe people can
2:05:35change as well. Someone literally asked
2:05:37me the other day like do you think Ethan
2:05:39can change? I'm like I hope I hope
2:05:40there's like a rock bottom that you have
2:05:42to hit where you're like damn I need to
2:05:43like change it up a little bit. And even
2:05:45when we started this podcast
2:05:47like when we started doing hot topics
2:05:49and I was like I don't know if I want to
2:05:50go down that road again because it
2:05:52brought so much drama back to me. And
2:05:54that's why I'm really proud of the way
2:05:55we do handle hot topics on here and
2:05:57stuff like that. Like it can be
2:05:59lighthearted and anything that's
2:06:00serious. We I definitely am not
2:06:02I said this the other day too. Like I'm
2:06:03definitely not throwing stones anyone or
2:06:04judging anyone because I think I'm the
2:06:06perfect person to like talk about
2:06:07people's cancellations because I've been
2:06:08there and I can look at it with like
2:06:09empathy and stuff like that. And the
2:06:11people obviously that are horrible we
2:06:12can have like a key about like if they
2:06:13have like a domestic violence or a Zach
2:06:15just or something like that we can be
2:06:16serious about it. And it's not just
2:06:20having power and berating people we
2:06:21hate. It's like looking at things with
2:06:23nuance and still having a good time. So
2:06:25I remember when we first talked about
2:06:27Just Trish. I mean Oscar's literally
2:06:28like I loved watching Frenemies because
2:06:29I loved finding you like discovering new
2:06:31things or hearing about a new topic. And
2:06:33that is like kind of how this evolved. I
2:06:35mean we evolved into something so much
2:06:36more, but it was the beginning and I was
2:06:38like, oh, that's great to kind of have
2:06:39like a healthy version of everything I
2:06:41loved about Frenemies, which was talking
2:06:43and having a friend to talk to and
2:06:44relating to experiences we had together
2:06:46and also talking about stuff that's, you
2:06:49know, we both love gossip, we both love
2:06:51being online and it's it's feels like a
2:06:53very healthy way to do it and I love
2:06:55doing it and I feel like I can have a
2:06:57lot more like empathy and sympathy for
2:06:58people including everyone involved in
2:07:01this, including Hila, including Ethan,
2:07:02including the crew um
2:07:04because it's just an awful place to be
2:07:07and um it's and I see them all beg for
2:07:11privacy or understanding or like, you
2:07:13know, oh, don't do this, it'll make it
2:07:15worse for us and stuff like that. Like I
2:07:16know that feeling of like just wanting
2:07:18it all to end and people to just like
2:07:19stop talking about it and um like yeah,
2:07:22I hope everyone like moves on and I
2:07:23think for us what we talk about now is
2:07:25Frenemies and then the fallout for me
2:07:27was way worse than what happened on
2:07:29Frenemies. To me Frenemies was fun, it
2:07:30was a key, it was a gag even being
2:07:32triggered, whatever, it was the
2:07:34aftermath that was like so hard and
2:07:36just, you know, being so awful to Moses,
2:07:39like just being so nasty. He would go so
2:07:41hard for you. Like I love Trish, but
2:07:43he'd be like, Moses, suck my dick and I
2:07:45was like, my kids are seeing that.
2:07:46Everyone was so concerned about
2:07:47everything and I was like, my kids will
2:07:49see that one day like this is deplorable
2:07:51and then to have everyone be like, I
2:07:52wish the kids could be together and be
2:07:53cousins. I'm like,
2:07:54look how he's talking about their dad
2:07:56and calling him all these names and just
2:07:57constantly like antagonizing you for
2:08:00literally nothing. Moses has said
2:08:01absolutely nothing before, during,
2:08:04after, nothing. Like I always got alone
2:08:07on camera and told my story. They were
2:08:09always together, the crew, Ethan, Hila,
2:08:10everyone's talking attacking me. I was
2:08:13always by myself, I was always solo.
2:08:15Moses kept out of it and for him to just
2:08:18keep attacking, like that hurt the most
2:08:19and that's when I would get really upset
2:08:20is when I would see him and I'm like,
2:08:21it's never ending. He's just
2:08:23antagonizing you and
2:08:26being awful.
2:08:27>> we were we literally were in the upside
2:08:29down world. That's what it was cuz it's
2:08:31like he'll go on air to talk about how
2:08:34much
2:08:35um he care like my mom, right? Like oh,
2:08:37he's calling his mom, he's doing this,
2:08:39leave your mom alone.
2:08:41Make you know, don't you care about her?
2:08:44Like,
2:08:44you're attacking her son online, which
2:08:47creates the whole rift in the family,
2:08:50and then you go and claim that I'm the
2:08:52one hurting my mom.
2:08:54And then you go and chant with your
2:08:55cult, family, family, family.
2:08:58And And you watch that and you're like,
2:09:00am I in the upside down world right now?
2:09:02Like, how is this even possible that
2:09:04it's all happening right now?
2:09:06Like, none of it makes sense and somehow
2:09:08some people
2:09:09find it either entertaining or making
2:09:11sense. Like, all of it is just like the
2:09:13most
2:09:15insane thing I've ever seen in my life,
2:09:17and that's why I categorize it as a cult
2:09:19because like the nothing
2:09:21There's nothing about it that is
2:09:22logical, you know? It's It has to be
2:09:24just plain
2:09:26believing something. It It's weird.
2:09:28Like, I can't even explain it.
2:09:29>> always centered on you, and then it was
2:09:31like just the weird thing cuz we were
2:09:32always close with your family and your
2:09:33mom was always over here and everything
2:09:34was fine. When we He talked about we ran
2:09:36into him one time after Frenemies at
2:09:37this Christmas thing, it's cuz I saw
2:09:38your mom. She had just came to our house
2:09:40and we cooked and we were all cooking
2:09:41together, and then I saw her and that's
2:09:42when I saw Ethan and Hila. I say hi. I'm
2:09:45just like, hi Moses. It's just like you
2:09:47know just there. But it It was It's It's
2:09:49so sad how all that ended cuz we were so
2:09:52close and everything and it just
2:09:55It's It's The whole thing is just really
2:09:57really sad. And when you like stop to
2:09:59really think about it, it's like
2:10:00for what? Why? Like, what? Because
2:10:02Frenemies end Like, what What is the
2:10:04reason for all of it? Like, we were
2:10:06fine. We were amicable. Like, I
2:10:08surrendered back in September 2021. That
2:10:10was the last time I ever talked about
2:10:11them. And hopefully today marks the last
2:10:13time I do uh talk about them about in
2:10:14this capacity. It's like
2:10:16I [snorts] would love to look back and
2:10:17be like, damn, Frenemies was great. It
2:10:19ended crazy. And then I have it just be
2:10:20a chapter in my life like I talk about
2:10:22everything else. But
2:10:24it just was uh It's just It's been uh
2:10:27just constant anxiety and stuff like
2:10:28that, but it feels
2:10:30Yeah. And I when I go back to like for
2:10:32what?
2:10:32Like for for Frenemies ending like what
2:10:34what did we do for 5 years of harassment
2:10:37and bullying and just like being
2:10:39relentless and never ever saying
2:10:40anything.
2:10:41>> an obsessive nature and
2:10:44>> It's
2:10:45>> Yeah.
2:10:46>> like I've told you guys before, I think
2:10:47it is like you were in a way like that
2:10:50patient zero because I think too people
2:10:53have to see a play
2:10:55be like cyclical and kind of have it
2:10:56play out over and over again. And
2:10:57unfortunately, someone like Hassan who
2:11:01I'm sure you know Ethan found some
2:11:02digital footprint of him too, but
2:11:05that he could weaponize. But for the
2:11:06most part very much
2:11:09sane, mentally stable. Like so someone
2:11:12like a man who presents himself
2:11:15authoritative is has a reputation of
2:11:17being sensible and then kind of saying
2:11:19the same cycle of like
2:11:22left the show then has to like weaponize
2:11:24it against him and it's not again it's
2:11:26not like normal fallout. It's like a
2:11:28full-blown like hate campaign where it's
2:11:31like everything you say and do is
2:11:33monitored and any little slip-up that
2:11:36can be weaponized against you will be
2:11:38weaponized against you. And that played
2:11:41again that's why I said enemy of the
2:11:43week like you really
2:11:45he needed a thumbnail in his title and
2:11:46whoever he could hyper fix it onto hate
2:11:49that what he would take advantage of you
2:11:51know. So if it if Hassan would had a
2:11:53light week it was back to you or if and
2:11:55until there was a lawsuit then he could
2:11:57use you know Casey Tron. So it's like a
2:11:59very much this weird
2:12:01cycle and I think
2:12:03again in retrospect maybe kind of look
2:12:06looking back at frenemies with the power
2:12:07you had you both had to like knock down
2:12:10anybody you know if you could knock down
2:12:11Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson who were
2:12:13like you know 20 18 20 19 kings
2:12:15>> Yeah.
2:12:16>> then it's like and you get so rewarded
2:12:18for that in monetarily and in the views.
2:12:22So it just becomes like maybe there's
2:12:24some kind of addiction there to that
2:12:26feeling of just taking someone down. I
2:12:28don't know what it is. Again very
2:12:30important to say it's like it's not a
2:12:31normal it's like literally this
2:12:35have using a whole fan base to monitor
2:12:37every single move also combing through
2:12:40ironically what's happening to him right
2:12:41now with just having someone go through
2:12:43and clip any single thing that can be
2:12:46and will be used against you. You know,
2:12:48it's like it's very abnormal. It's not
2:12:50like normal internet usage or social
2:12:52media.
2:12:53Um, very intense, obviously.
2:12:56And yeah, I mean it's just it's so
2:12:58cyclical. And obviously, again, timing
2:13:00wise, this book had this release date no
2:13:02matter what.
2:13:03>> for literally nine months like it's been
2:13:05this release date. Yeah, it's I don't
2:13:07know.
2:13:08>> Um,
2:13:09but also like important for me to
2:13:11reiterate like we you never want to
2:13:13mention them again. A for like the peace
2:13:14thing
2:13:16maintain the peace, but it's also it's
2:13:17so difficult when if you give that
2:13:20attention to someone who wants it so bad
2:13:22so they can do the back and forth like
2:13:25again it just it'll be non stop and it's
2:13:28like
2:13:29again
2:13:30they people will go after me when I
2:13:32started working with you. They went
2:13:33after Jimmy when he started editing.
2:13:34Like it is like relentless. It is
2:13:37abnormal. It's very odd, very weird
2:13:40behavior. And it is such a weird
2:13:44relief that now you can actually like
2:13:45say this stuff and also
2:13:48not have that anxiety of like here we
2:13:50go. What what's going to be used and
2:13:52weaponized against me now that's in
2:13:53here. So that is like this
2:13:56crazy
2:13:57karmatic
2:13:58mo- I don't even know how to describe
2:14:00it.
2:14:00>> really is. It's just seeing it all
2:14:01happen like people being like, you know,
2:14:03just give us privacy and I'm like that's
2:14:05actually insane cuz you would like they
2:14:07said if it was the other way around it
2:14:09would be joyous. It would be resulting.
2:14:11I mean they were just trying so long to
2:14:12project that I hate Moses on this
2:14:13podcast and I was just like so it's
2:14:16Yeah, and I can always reference the
2:14:17book and I'm thankful I wrote it. And I
2:14:18feel like I wrote about it. Everyone who
2:14:20read it, all my agents, everything like
2:14:22that, it's just like you were actually
2:14:23like pretty nice to eat that and I was
2:14:25like I think I I know I wrote it in like
2:14:27a way that it was like I did
2:14:29value him as a friend. I did really like
2:14:31him. I liked our time on Frenemies. It
2:14:33was the aftermath that like obviously I
2:14:35turned my life around. I I really had
2:14:37had another rock bottom and like a lot
2:14:39of it due to myself you know, the
2:14:40cancellation stuff like that
2:14:42to get like my spiritual awakening and
2:14:43kind of re-center myself and kind of
2:14:45humble myself cuz again karma hit me
2:14:47really quick that I was like let me
2:14:48figure out what I'm doing wrong cuz I
2:14:49keep having this happen. So I tried to
2:14:52write it as factual as possible in the
2:14:54book. Like, I really kept it to like the
2:14:55main points, which is like the crew
2:14:57being fired and that was not true, the
2:14:58Mr. Riney of it all, and like the money
2:15:00of it all, um which I only talk about
2:15:02because in relation to like hiring crew
2:15:04and stuff. But other than that, I tried
2:15:05to keep my like emotions out of it, my
2:15:07bias out of it, and and yeah, like I'm
2:15:09just glad that cuz it that's the piece
2:15:11that I want to live on forever and
2:15:12obviously this in the aftermath of all
2:15:14this it's like what's currently going on
2:15:15now is um just really crazy timing and
2:15:18also something that I don't it's not a
2:15:20part of our narrative cuz we just are
2:15:21not in their lives anymore and um I
2:15:23can't really speak to it cuz I don't
2:15:24know any of those people involved. Like,
2:15:26most of the people on the crew I didn't
2:15:26know when I was on Frenemies, so I don't
2:15:29I don't know. I don't know what's
2:15:29happening there. It's all um
2:15:31it's all wild. And in general, we try to
2:15:33steer away from it cuz it's just like it
2:15:34is just like this negative energy and
2:15:37it's relentless and it 's not you know,
2:15:40I see people speculating about stuff now
2:15:41and it's just like it's just what's the
2:15:42point? I I don't need the energy and um
2:15:47yeah, just yeah, hopefully things
2:15:48change. I think like everyone is saying
2:15:50it it feels like the internet's a little
2:15:51more peaceful cuz you had someone
2:15:52judging everyone so harshly for every
2:15:55little thing. It was um it's a lot. It
2:15:57was stressful for a lot of people.
2:15:59>> I my last question for you, how
2:16:01validating was it when you fought over
2:16:04like the highlights channel and
2:16:05everything and then miraculously in the
2:16:07before pub day, you know, it's like he
2:16:09has a slip of to say how much he made
2:16:11from highlights.
2:16:13>> Well, that was crazy.
2:16:15Did he say it recently or was it like a
2:16:16couple months ago? When was it? Like a
2:16:17year ago?
2:16:18>> It wasn't that long ago.
2:16:19>> It wasn't long ago, but uh
2:16:20>> a year Like maybe less than a year or
2:16:21something like that.
2:16:22Okay, so that that's crazy too. So
2:16:26yeah, I don't know. Maybe it is divinely
2:16:28protected. I don't know what. I don't
2:16:29know. Like I said, or truth always comes
2:16:30out and stuff like that. So yeah, that
2:16:32was
2:16:33I guess that was the big thing, right?
2:16:34Is like especially I guess to go back to
2:16:36that like end of Frenemies and him like
2:16:37throwing me under the bus. I mean he he
2:16:39really he did say it in his own words is
2:16:40that he made no money off Frenemies. He
2:16:42said He said he put all the money into
2:16:44it, made none. He's like Trisha got a
2:16:45lot. Trisha profited, but I made none,
2:16:47which I was like
2:16:48okay okay. So I talk about how much I
2:16:51make, and then I was like, you know,
2:16:53obviously I get 45 percent, and that was
2:16:55just the main channel.
2:16:57Then, about a year ago, he yeah, Ethan
2:17:00says that he made the Highlights channel
2:17:02was making more than his main channel,
2:17:04and he said around 2020 2021, which is
2:17:07which is frenemies. And every highlight
2:17:10every everything was Trish Trish Even if
2:17:13I wasn't on the show, I was the title.
2:17:14Even if it it was always Trish and every
2:17:16highlight getting millions. So if we got
2:17:186 million on once a week episodes, they
2:17:20would do Sometimes the Highlights came
2:17:21out before the episode, and I was like,
2:17:23what the hell? So that was getting like
2:17:24millions of views, like 3 million, 4
2:17:26million on a lot of those highlights.
2:17:28And that's why I started like side
2:17:30eyeing. I was kind of like oh like what
2:17:32Then I saw frenemies was getting up
2:17:33early, and there was a whole membership
2:17:34for that. I was like what like what is
2:17:35what is happening? So the Highlights was
2:17:37the main one, and then that was you
2:17:39know, he was like I'm just going to keep
2:17:40all the Highlights so I can hook the
2:17:41crew up and cover production costs. So
2:17:43that's where I that came in. And so when
2:17:45he was saying he was making like five
2:17:46times what the main channel was making,
2:17:49we were making a lot. And if you read
2:17:50the book, I disclosed how much I was
2:17:52making at the height. So obviously we
2:17:54know what the whole channel was making.
2:17:55But then making five times that amount
2:17:57on Highlights when he told everybody
2:17:59that he made no money,
2:18:02it's crazy. And I I could I could
2:18:04>> when the merch came out, he said he put
2:18:06all the money into the merch.
2:18:08And if people don't buy the merch,
2:18:09they're going to lose all the money.
2:18:10>> Yeah, he's going to lose all the money.
2:18:11And again, made
2:18:12>> everything they ever made put into the
2:18:14merch.
2:18:14>> They made a lot off the merch. Again, I
2:18:15got 15 percent. They made a lot. I think
2:18:17there was like a restock. There was
2:18:19It's just it's just frustrating because
2:18:20it made it seem like he made no money. I
2:18:22was the greedy one. I took all the
2:18:23money. But unless the crew got unless
2:18:25they were making seven figures a month,
2:18:26maybe they did get the whole Highlights
2:18:27channel in that case. But you know, but
2:18:29then later on he would go on Jeff and
2:18:30say I don't know where Trish got that
2:18:32Cuz
2:18:33Dan was there at the final episode, and
2:18:34I was like oh, you said He's like no, I
2:18:36never said that. I was like but no, like
2:18:37right literally right here. I have the
2:18:38text messages. Like So I think that's
2:18:40also yeah, what was frustrating. But
2:18:42also yeah, validating cuz
2:18:44you can you can never really prove
2:18:45anything. You can see the views
2:18:46obviously, but then to have him say it.
2:18:49I think
2:18:50Yeah, Ethan loves to just tell on
2:18:52himself. I think then it's just like for
2:18:54better or for worse. I mean, I guess
2:18:55he'll just eventually reveal himself and
2:18:58um
2:19:00and like loves yeah, loves to
2:19:03shift the blame. But
2:19:05yeah, it's um whoo.
2:19:07What a roller coaster. It's so funny cuz
2:19:09it's at the end of my book and when we
2:19:10were going through like all my like life
2:19:12events and manuscript and stuff like
2:19:13that, it was like right before Christmas
2:19:14break and we were trying to wrap it up
2:19:15before Christmas break and um I was
2:19:18like, okay. He's like, well, do you want
2:19:19let's should we discuss anything about
2:19:21frenemies or Ethan? I was like,
2:19:22oh god. I was like, I just told you.
2:19:24Yeah, I was like, that's what I said. I
2:19:25was [laughter] like, I just said a whole
2:19:26life story.
2:19:27We do frenemies. I was like, okay,
2:19:29great. It's over. The book's like happy
2:19:32ending. Everything's great. I have
2:19:33Malibu.
2:19:34>> My favorite chapter, chapter 18. I have
2:19:36it tabbed. [laughter] And that's pretty
2:19:37much the book. From there, Moses and I
2:19:39live happily ever after and nothing ever
2:19:40hurt me again. Thanks for reading. And
2:19:42there's about 100 pages left after.
2:19:45[laughter]
2:19:45>> I KNOW.
2:19:46I REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS IT. I'M LIKE,
2:19:48THAT'S THE END and then I have my baby
2:19:50and everything is fine and then yes,
2:19:51there is there's a few more tests that
2:19:53the universe would give me to be like,
2:19:54are you healed? Did that meditation
2:19:56work, Trish? And it it did it did test
2:19:59me and we get into
2:20:01a little bit of that as well and um we
2:20:04meet a whole there
2:20:05that's that's the thing. It's like we
2:20:06just went through all that, right? This
2:20:07is oh my god, like two and a half hours
2:20:08we just went through all that and
2:20:10there's still like
2:20:12>> So much. There's the drug use, the Aaron
2:20:15I mean
2:20:16that's why I was like
2:20:18I mean, I made that TikTok jokingly
2:20:20where it was like, damn, that's a lot to
2:20:22go that's a lot to deal with. But damn,
2:20:24Aaron was it's another one, another one,
2:20:26another one. [laughter] I'm like, it is
2:20:28crazy.
2:20:29>> You tallied.
2:20:30>> It's like crazy that you're alive
2:20:31genuinely. I'm like, holy
2:20:33>> I mean, then after that, I mean, it's
2:20:35like I literally I talked about like the
2:20:37person that had the most evil in them
2:20:39and it wasn't anyone that we just
2:20:40mentioned this episode where I was like,
2:20:41wait, I actually got like these people
2:20:43are bad people. Ethan might be arguably
2:20:45the worst, but there is like an actual
2:20:47evil that I felt from somebody that
2:20:48comes after that that I was like, what
2:20:50the hell? And that's when I knew but
2:20:51that's when I knew I was like, I was on
2:20:53the right path to healing and I just
2:20:54again
2:20:55power in silence, power in meditation,
2:20:58and stuff like that. But obviously you
2:20:59guys can read that cuz at the end of the
2:21:01book. And then my yeah, my finale
2:21:04includes Oscar, which is great. Do you
2:21:06like your little part in it?
2:21:08>> Yeah, it made me cry when I read it. I
2:21:09did, in full transparency, did go to see
2:21:12that first. I was like, where do I
2:21:13[screaming] come out? And I was skimming
2:21:15through it and I got to it. I was like
2:21:16>> What page are you on? Is it towards It's
2:21:18like towards the end, right?
2:21:19>> Yeah, it is I should have bookmarked my
2:21:22own.
2:21:22>> you didn't bookmark it? Oh my gosh. That
2:21:24was one of my favorite parts.
2:21:26>> I know. It was so sweet.
2:21:27>> It's kind of like acknowledgments at the
2:21:28end. It's like my life is great now.
2:21:30It's a great way to end this book of my
2:21:33life. Obviously my next 38 years will be
2:21:36the next book, but hopefully it's all
2:21:38off the kitchen floor. Hopefully it's
2:21:40[laughter] it's me just sitting up and
2:21:42>> Oh, I'm so dumb. I did bookmark it. It's
2:21:44351 in this yeah.
2:21:46>> is Oscar.
2:21:47>> met Oscar at Joey Garafalo's infamous
2:21:48Christmas party in 2016, but it was his
2:21:50work as a journalist that really won me
2:21:52over. Wow, that's so sweet.
2:21:54>> It's so true.
2:21:55>> We done several interviews over the
2:21:57years and each time I'd walk away
2:21:58feeling completely seen. He just gets
2:21:59me. His questions are interesting, he's
2:22:01well researched, and he has this spunk
2:22:02that energized me like nothing else. He
2:22:04was the perfect addition to Josh Trish.
2:22:07It was so sweet.
2:22:07>> You were the one and only and you made
2:22:09it what it was. It was so successful.
2:22:11You still are, even doing this whole
2:22:13interview. Wow, you were so good. I was
2:22:14like, God, I really do forget how
2:22:16amazing
2:22:16>> Took a few a few trials to get
2:22:19[laughter] here.
2:22:20>> We tried so much. The attempts of trying
2:22:22to work together I mean, obviously the
2:22:25frenemies was like the biggest one, but
2:22:26just throughout the years I was like,
2:22:27God, I really want to work with Oscar.
2:22:29Over sharing, which we didn't even get
2:22:31to, but I wanted Oscar for that. And I
2:22:34just it never was working. But like
2:22:36thank God again, just like having babies
2:22:38with anyone before Moses, I thank God it
2:22:40didn't work out cuz like had you gone
2:22:41you could have been one of the H3 crew
2:22:43members. You could have I mean, for
2:22:44better or worse.
2:22:45>> [laughter]
2:22:45>> No shade, but holy [ __ ]
2:22:48>> Sorry. Maybe bad timing for that, but
2:22:52[laughter] Sorry.
2:22:53>> No, I mean I mean for the perspective as
2:22:54like I can only imagine how many
2:22:56questions about topping and bottoming I
2:22:57would have been getting.
2:22:58>> But
2:22:59>> [laughter]
2:23:00>> I mean they really didn't
2:23:01>> So how do you take it? Yeah.
2:23:03>> Oh my god. That's right. We had a whole
2:23:05segment of that too where he was just
2:23:06[laughter] asking. Anyways, they
2:23:07probably they probably needed to. It
2:23:09probably would have maybe you would have
2:23:10stayed on the right on the right path.
2:23:12But um yeah, any any of those people,
2:23:15you know, you could have gone to work
2:23:16with and I could have lost you. So this
2:23:17was
2:23:18the perfect um
2:23:20perfect fitting and I'm I'm so thankful.
2:23:22Thank god. I know and this is like we're
2:23:24going on year four together. Over 300
2:23:27episodes. Think about Frenemies was 39
2:23:28episodes. [laughter]
2:23:29And I thought that was an
2:23:30accomplishment. I thought my
2:23:31relationship
2:23:32>> 40 episodes again.
2:23:32>> Yeah,
2:23:33technically [laughter] 40. The last
2:23:35Frenemies, where is it? I guess we
2:23:36talked to a lawyer one time like you
2:23:38could like transcribe it. I guess you
2:23:39can like transcribe a thing. Um but uh
2:23:42same thing with Moses like my longest
2:23:43relationship was not even a year. So
2:23:44it's like damn we really we really uh
2:23:47thriving out here and it's really great
2:23:49and I'm very appreciative of
2:23:51um everything that I went through in the
2:23:52book and friendships and even the Shane
2:23:54and all of it. It's like there's
2:23:56everybody in the book
2:23:58is like a lesson. Help me learn
2:23:59something and I think that is life is
2:24:01when you go through some turmoil like
2:24:03there's always like a lesson and I I've
2:24:05learned so much from
2:24:07the situations and I'm very
2:24:10lucky that people care about this book
2:24:12and I'm really I'm really really proud
2:24:14of it and I feel like I lived my life as
2:24:16like a movie and TV show. So I mean it's
2:24:19only
2:24:19>> baby. Oh my [laughter] Jesus Christ.
2:24:23Lawyer order SVU.
2:24:25>> It's 20 seasons on NBC.
2:24:27If you want to pick this up, you know,
2:24:29um I yeah, it it became a book and
2:24:32hopefully, you know, I don't know maybe
2:24:33it can be
2:24:35maybe Amanda Seefried will play play me.
2:24:36I don't know. We'll get somebody
2:24:37Elizabeth Holmes. Um yeah, I'm I'm happy
2:24:40it's out. I'm very uh I'm very this felt
2:24:42better than to talk about it cuz it's
2:24:43like we really did go through everything
2:24:44and I was like Moses, you don't have to
2:24:45read the book. You just heard
2:24:46everything. So
2:24:47>> [laughter]
2:24:47>> No, actually no. I want to read it when
2:24:50I hear all this.
2:24:51>> Yeah, yeah. There's it's it's good and
2:24:53the audio book is good cuz I do narrate
2:24:55it. So if you guys want to get the audio
2:24:56book, I'm I'm really proud of it and
2:24:58um like yeah, at least it's all it was
2:25:00all not in vain. There was a story to be
2:25:02told.
2:25:03And get it now. Crying on the kitchen
2:25:06floor. It's everywhere. I'm currently on
2:25:08a book tour that you guys already sold
2:25:10out. So, see you on the next one, I
2:25:13suppose. And um
2:25:16thank you Oscar for that. That was so
2:25:17good. You were so good.
2:25:19>> I mean I could have done a whole
2:25:21six hours [laughter] really at this
2:25:22point. I'm like damn.
2:25:24>> There's a there's a part two in there.
2:25:26>> They'd be Patreon if they want more or
2:25:28whatever.
2:25:28>> yeah yeah. So we guys we filmed almost
2:25:30three hours today. So if you guys want
2:25:31to go over to Patreon we'll probably um
2:25:33they'll probably be some stuff that was
2:25:35edited. Maybe it'll be Oscar's unedited.
2:25:37Maybe it'll be a little bit of
2:25:37everything. Um you guys can go over
2:25:39there. We'll put some stuff maybe that
2:25:41oh Jimmy's like don't put that in the
2:25:43main episode. Put it on the Patreon or
2:25:44something. I don't know. You know we'd
2:25:45be talking too much. Once it's like also
2:25:47we've been in here for a while. We had
2:25:49McDonald's in us. Like once it starts
2:25:50flowing
2:25:52as much like those podcasts. You don't
2:25:53even have to give me a question. I'm
2:25:54just going to I'm just going to share.
2:25:56Over sharing [laughter] the sequel of
2:25:58the book. Um but anyways thank you and
2:26:00thank you Moses for um
2:26:02sharing your input. I know it's uh
2:26:06not your favorite thing to talk about
2:26:07either but I appreciate it. And thank
2:26:09you for letting me share my perspective
2:26:10of our love story.
2:26:12Our love story ended great. That's like
2:26:14we do have like a perfect marriage. I
2:26:15know you're like oh my god you guys have
2:26:16a perfect marriage. Like it's not start
2:26:18perfect but we have we really worked
2:26:20hard on it and we really do have a very
2:26:22easy
2:26:23perfect marriage. Now I can say that
2:26:25confidently considering we already went
2:26:27through the turmoil so I think we went
2:26:28the back end.
2:26:28>> ran all the bad stuff.
2:26:30>> It was all out there at the beginning
2:26:31and honestly don't recommend it but you
2:26:33know it worked for us and now we're now
2:26:36you know Moses it's it really Moses took
2:26:38understanding my conditions and you
2:26:40really
2:26:41nail them and know when I need a a
2:26:43serious break and everything like that
2:26:45so I appreciate it. And thank you guys
2:26:46for watching. Oh my god just Trish the
2:26:48reason I have a book is because if you
2:26:49guys this podcast is everything. This is
2:26:52my true redemption arc, second act,
2:26:54third act, fourth act. I'm so thankful.
2:26:56Encore [laughter] encore. Yeah we're
2:26:57done. We're going to keep just Trish
2:26:59going for another 20 years. It'll be
2:27:01here forever. We'll always be here. Will
2:27:03you? I hope so. All right. Stay tuned
2:27:05our next episode. I'll still be on my
2:27:06book tour, but we did get some pretty
2:27:08great guests blast from the past, little
2:27:10nostalgia, which I'm very excited for
2:27:12you guys to see um first time on camera,
2:27:15first sit down in uh since the incident.
2:27:18Talk about past drama.
2:27:21They'll be here live in person in the
2:27:23next episode. We love you guys. If
2:27:25there's hot topics happening this week,
2:27:27hopefully we'll cover [laughter] it next
2:27:28week. I know gosh, you know, there's
2:27:29always something that's going down and
2:27:30then here we are just being like, so
2:27:32back in childhood. But we'll be back for
2:27:34more hot topics. We love you guys and
2:27:36we'll see you in the next one. Bye guys.

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