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The Role of the Father in Home Education l Voddie Baucham — Transcript

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0:00well good morning morning it is good to
0:03see all of your smiling faces this
0:05morning there's a lot of men in the room
0:08and somebody asked me earlier if we were
0:09going to have any problems getting
0:11everybody in here I said no it's men
0:13it'd be it'd be empty
0:16um so yeah yeah yeah thanks for making
0:19me a liar on that one
0:23um let's let's let's talk about this
0:25issue of our role and leadership in home
0:29disciple ship and often times when we
0:32talk about the the man and his role in
0:34home education uh a lot of us think
0:36about you know what should I teach or if
0:39anything or what you know role should I
0:41have in curriculum choices so on and so
0:43forth that's going to vary from home to
0:46home um what we're dealing with is going
0:48to be something much broader than that
0:51and really it's our overall
0:52responsibility as husbands and fathers
0:55when it comes to the issue of family
0:57discipleship um again I want to remind
0:59you as our reminded others of an
1:01exciting opportunity that we have on
1:03Israel in the in the spring um February
1:0619th to March 2nd we have information at
1:08our booth as well as on our website uh
1:11some useful websites for you um are
1:15these v.org Grace family baptist. net
1:19our church website sermonaudio.com
1:21vacum message is there for free
1:23twitter.com Vodacom facebook.com/ vacum
1:28um all of those sort of things and if
1:29you just forget any of those you can
1:31just Google me vodi bacham and here's
1:34what I found that because my name is
1:36vodi bacham you don't even have to know
1:38how to spell it you just get
1:40close I I'll come up you know um all
1:45right so the call to prepare Men We
1:50there's no disagreement that we have to
1:52prepare men there's no disagreement that
1:55there has to be a call to prepare men
1:57there's no disagreement that men need to
1:59be uh reinstated if you will into their
2:03roles as husbands and fathers and heads
2:06of household but but call to prepare men
2:10for what because ultimately that call to
2:13prepare men has looked like in our
2:16culture um calling men to Stadium events
2:19calling men to accountability groups
2:21calling men to whatever um and and what
2:26I liken it to is the idea of there you
2:30know there's a soldier there's a warrior
2:32who has somehow um you know fallen out
2:36of the kind of state that he needs to be
2:39in to be a warrior and we get him all
2:41shined up and clinged up but we don't
2:42give him anywhere to fight and
2:44ultimately I think that's what we've
2:45been doing by and large in Men's
2:48Ministry we're calling men to gather
2:51together as men and we love to talk
2:53about how it sounds when men sing
2:55together it's just great to hear men
2:57sing together that's great it's
2:58wonderful but what what is that going to
3:00do what what are we going to do by
3:03gathering men to sing together man you
3:05don't train to wear this
3:09uniform you train to wear this
3:14one we're not about calling men just to
3:17gather together and sound good and look
3:19good but there's some place that we're
3:22supposed to fight and I believe that
3:24that place for all of us first and
3:25foremost is in our households that's the
3:29hill on which to die your family your
3:32household so I'm not I'm not here so
3:35that we can call men to just sort of
3:37gather together as men to say we
3:39gathered together as men both so that we
3:42can disperse and each and every one of
3:44us go fight and die on that Hill called
3:47your home but why is this such an urgent
3:50need first because of cultural
3:53degeneration our culture is falling
3:55apart and our understanding of manhood
3:59is absolutely absolutely disappearing
4:00before our eyes we don't know what it
4:03means to be a man and so in our culture
4:06you you generally you measure manhood
4:08three ways the billfold the ball field
4:10and the
4:12bedroom that's how we measure manhood in
4:14our culture the billfold what do you do
4:16how much money do you make the ball
4:18field you an athlete what' you play how
4:20far did you go the
4:22bedroom was your lady look like that's
4:25how we measure manhood and so young men
4:27in our culture are measuring measuring
4:30themselves by the billfold the ball
4:32field and the bedroom cuz it's all
4:36they've got it's all they know it's all
4:38they understand and that's not manhood
4:41ecclesiological confusion uh we even see
4:44a feminization of the church um which
4:49further leads to degeneration in the
4:51culture at large and a need for
4:54assimilation men who are called to
4:57family discipleship uh um hear that call
5:01and want to heed that call but usually
5:05have not seen it the things that we're
5:07talking about are not things that men
5:09are familiar
5:11with listen to this from James Alexander
5:14in his book thoughts on Family
5:15Worship there's no member of a household
5:17whose individual piety is of such
5:19importance to all the rest as the father
5:22or head and there is no one whose soul
5:25is so directly influenced by the
5:27exercise of domestic worship
5:30where the head of a family is lukewarm
5:32or worldly he will send the chill
5:35through the whole house and if any happy
5:38exception occur and one and another
5:40surpass him in faithfulness it will be
5:42in spite of his evil
5:45example men play not just an important
5:49role but the most crucial role in their
5:52household listen to this from Oliver
5:55Hayward I know not how a minister can
5:58employ his time studies and Pen better
6:02next to the conviction and conversion of
6:04a particular soul of particular Souls
6:07than impressing upon
6:09householders a care of the souls under
6:12their charge this hath a direct tendency
6:15to public Reformation so here's one of
6:17the Puritans and he says I don't know of
6:20a way that a pastor can invest his time
6:23better again aside from leading an
6:25individual to Christ he doesn't know of
6:27a better way that a Pastor can use his
6:31time than equipping men to Shepherd
6:34their families why because that will
6:38lead to Reformation both in the church
6:41and in the culture at large the family
6:44is a foundational Seminary for the
6:46church and the
6:48state well the local
6:50church the local church is a training
6:52ground for family Shepherds it's a
6:54training ground for men on how to lead
6:56how so um I call this the Titus tribe
6:59angle these three areas which are of
7:01utmost importance first you have uh
7:04Godly older men in the church Titus
7:06makes that very clear in chapter 2: 1-6
7:10we also have Godly manly Elders in the
7:12church who are to be what examples to
7:14the flock here's what's amazing in Titus
7:17in Titus Chapter 2 we have older men and
7:19older women and he's very clear about
7:21what older women are to teach younger
7:24women right to be sensible pure workers
7:27at home submissed to their own husbands
7:29you know so on and so forth we get this
7:30list and then we get down after that to
7:33older man and younger man and what does
7:35he say help the younger man to be
7:36self-controlled there's no
7:39list where's our
7:41list like dude the ladies got a list
7:44where's our
7:45list well our list is in chapter 1 veres
7:495-9 they go whoa whoa whoa whoa wait a
7:51minute no no that's the list for Elder
7:53qualifications yes it is the list for
7:56Elder
7:57qualifications and it is the list for
8:00what older men are to model for younger
8:02men well no no no no that's just if
8:04you're going to be an elder no no that's
8:07not just if you're going to be an elder
8:10and here's why number one there's no
8:12other list in the
8:16book Number Two Elders are to be
8:19examples to the flock what sense does it
8:22make for an elder to be an example to
8:24the flock if his standard is not their
8:27standard I am a shining example of what
8:30you are not called to
8:32be don't follow me just
8:38admire here's the third thing there's
8:40nothing on that list that any of us is
8:42willing to give up on for any one of our
8:44sons not one thing in the Titus 1 5-9
8:48list that any of us is willing to say n
8:50my son doesn't have to be that none of
8:52it none of it none of it none of it that
8:56is the list and Elders as examples to
8:59the flock are examples of biblical
9:01manhood and thirdly biblically
9:03functioning homes we see the importance
9:05of that in Titus 1110 and 11 and this is
9:09this is the sort of this is a sort of
9:10tripod or or or a three-legged stool
9:13upon which this picture of discipleship
9:15stands Godly older men in the church
9:18Godly manly elders and biblically
9:20functioning homes all working together
9:22with this
9:23Synergy there are four key
9:26areas um Family evangelism and disci
9:29ship marriage enrichment child training
9:32and lifestyle evaluation the these are
9:34four key areas we could talk about other
9:36areas uh but I believe that these are
9:39foundational to what we are called to do
9:41in leading our
9:43households first family evangelism
9:46discipleship equipping men to Herald the
9:48gospel at home this is important and if
9:52we're going to do this we have to
9:53understand a few things Listen to George
9:54Whitfield every governor of a family
9:56ought to look upon himself as obliged to
9:58act in three capacities as a prophet to
10:01instruct as a priest to pray for and
10:02with and as a king to govern direct and
10:04provide for them by the way if you're
10:06worried about keeping up CU I'm going
10:07rapidly here um this information comes
10:10from this book family Shepherds okay so
10:13you can go buy two of those and um and
10:17and you'll be able to um have all this
10:19information if you buy one you you won't
10:21get it all um
10:26so the great need uh a loss of family
10:30cohesiveness because of a loss of family
10:32cohesiveness this is a great need to
10:34Outsourcing we I mean we're so used to
10:36Outsourcing Outsourcing is what we do
10:39and as homeschoolers we we get that
10:40don't we it's ironic you look at it now
10:42before you didn't you know now that
10:44you've taken the blue pill and your eyes
10:46are open you look around at everybody
10:47else and see that they're just doing a
10:49bunch of Outsourcing because families
10:50will say I'm responsible for my child's
10:52education what does that mean that means
10:54that I buy my house in the neighborhood
10:55with good schools
11:02yeah yeah I thought yeah I thought you
11:04were yeah that's what it means used to
11:07be I'm going to teach my son how to play
11:10baseball now we hire a hitting
11:13coach do you really they do that now
11:16they hire hitting coaches for nine and
11:1910 year olds God help us what's your
11:22backyard
11:25for the generation
11:27gap this Con to the generation gap and
11:31just plain old busyness we're incredibly
11:33busy by the way there's a difference
11:35between busyness and productivity we're
11:37not more productive we're just more busy
11:40and that's a problem in and of itself
11:42and so if we're going to do this if
11:45we're going to lead in family evangelism
11:47and discipleship and this is the first
11:48of those foundational roles well three
11:51things that we have to understand the
11:53gospel we have to understand evangelism
11:55and we have to understand
11:56discipleship the gospel we have to to
11:59understand what the gospel is not we
12:02have to understand what the gospel is
12:04what the gospel requires and what the
12:07gospel produces we have to understand
12:09that the gospel is not the law we have
12:12to understand the gospel is not all the
12:14moral teachings of Jesus we have to
12:16understand that the gospel is not uh the
12:19the two great Commandments love God love
12:21people that's that's great but that's
12:23the law that's not the gospel okay
12:25that's a summary of the law not the
12:26gospel um we have to understand what the
12:28gospel is the gospel is news the gospel
12:30is an announcement it's an announcement
12:32of what God has done in Christ to redeem
12:35Sinners who could not redeem themselves
12:39it is announcement of what he has
12:40accomplished through his death burial
12:42and Resurrection on the cross it is an
12:44announcement of the impending judgment
12:47to come for those who do not obey
12:50through repentance and
12:53Faith what the gospel requires all the
12:56gospel requires is repentance and Faith
12:58what the gospel produces what the gospel
13:00produces is obedience if we don't
13:03understand these things if we don't
13:05understand the gospel if we don't
13:06understand what it's not what it is what
13:08it requires and what it produces it it
13:11will shape the way that we do evangelism
13:15with our children and it will shape the
13:17way that they understand who God is it
13:20will shape their understanding of
13:23Salvation evangelism we have to
13:26understand the Fallen nature of man
13:28you've got you got to understand your
13:29children's greatest need and you know
13:32here in these circles in homeschool
13:34circles this becomes extremely important
13:38um in fact in the book family Shepherds
13:40um I take issue with a very popular book
13:44and a very popular author in homeschool
13:46circles um whose anthropology is frankly
13:50heretical the book is ubiquitous in
13:53homeschool circles and and in uh child
13:56training circles it's absolutely
13:57ubiquitous it's
13:59everywhere and it's heretical mainly
14:02because of a faulty view of the nature
14:05of man and if you have a faulty view of
14:07the nature of man you have a faulty view
14:09of what your children actually need that
14:12leads you straight toward behavioralism
14:13believing that your children can
14:15accomplish in and of themselves that
14:17which only the gospel can accomplish in
14:19their lives and that's a huge problem uh
14:21the supernatural work of the spirit
14:23we've got to understand that got to
14:25understand that evangelism is about the
14:26supernatural work of the spirit not the
14:28manipulative work of the
14:29Evangelist um got to understand the role
14:32of the human
14:34agent and the nature of
14:38conversion and finally we've got to
14:40understand what the fruit of repentance
14:42looks like if we don't understand these
14:44things we don't understand evangelism
14:46and then we'd reduce evangelism with our
14:48children to just getting them to repeat
14:50some words you know and and and getting
14:53them to get up enough nerve to walk to
14:55the front of the church where's Jesus in
14:57my heart
15:01you're
15:03in well that's a problem if you don't
15:06understand the nature of Fallen man
15:08Supernatural work of the spirit the role
15:10of the human agent the nature of the
15:11convers nature of conversion and the
15:12fruit of repentance that's a problem and
15:15in discipleship we see this children
15:17obey your parents in the Lord for this
15:18is right honor your father and your
15:20mother it's the first commandment with a
15:21promise that it may go well with you and
15:23that you may live long in the land
15:25fathers should not provoke your children
15:27to anger but bring them up in the
15:28discipline and instruction of the Lord
15:30this is a clear command and it's a clear
15:32command to us for the discipleship of
15:34our children discipleship Keys number
15:37one faithful church membership and
15:39attendance why is this important this is
15:42important because of the ordinary means
15:45of Grace to which we are exposed in the
15:49Church of the Living God those ordinary
15:52means of Grace are of the utmost
15:55importance and they are a regular need
15:57in our lives faithful church membership
15:59and attendance exposes us to those
16:02ordinary means of Grace it also puts us
16:04under
16:05accountability secondly Family Worship
16:08most important practical thing that you
16:10can do and we'll talk more about this as
16:12we go on uh thirdly catechism again
16:15we'll talk more about this as we go on
16:17and fourthly life together all these
16:19things are important these are your
16:21discipleship Keys faithful church
16:23membership and attendance we read this
16:26in Hebrews 10:22 to2 let us hold fast
16:29fast the confession of Our Hope without
16:30wavering for he who promised is faithful
16:33and let us consider how to stir up one
16:36another to love and good works not
16:38neglecting to meet together as is the
16:40habit of son but encouraging one another
16:43and all the more as you see the day
16:44Drawing Near we also see in Hebrews
16:4713:17 obey your leaders and submit to
16:49them for they are keeping watch over
16:51your souls as those who will have to
16:53give an account let them do this with
16:56joy and not with groaning for that would
16:59be of no advantage to you and we're
17:02called to be submissive to the
17:04leadership of the local church and it's
17:07always ironic to me find this a lot in
17:08homeschool circles guys who guys who
17:11just check out on Church you you want to
17:14stump a homeschool dad in many circles
17:17all you have to do is ask him where he
17:18goes to church where do y'all go to
17:20church well you know um we C you know
17:22it's um we you know we there was this
17:24this place where we used to go you know
17:26just man churches wow you know and just
17:28you know Finding good you know preaching
17:31and
17:37then they checked out you know yeah the
17:40church doesn't agree with us on this the
17:42church doesn't agree with us on that so
17:44you know we us don't go to church
17:45anymore it just checked out well yeah
17:48you know the pastor he was this or he
17:49was that so he just kind of checked out
17:51really so you're no longer submitting to
17:54their Authority because they failed you
17:57in some way yeah well how about your
18:14children when do they get to not submit
18:16to your
18:18Authority well
18:21yeah that's
18:26different Family Worship the listen to
18:29this from Charles
18:30Spurgeon the house in which there is no
18:32family altar can scarcely expect the
18:35divine blessing if the Lord does not
18:38cover our habitation with his wings our
18:40family is like a house without a roof if
18:43we do not seek the Lord's guidance our
18:45household is a ship without a pilot and
18:48unless guarded by the devotion guarded
18:51by devotion our family will be a field
18:54without a hedge
18:58Spurgeon on the importance of regular
19:01meaning daily family devotions daily
19:04family worship what are the elements of
19:06our family worship we sing together we
19:08pray together we read together we
19:11memorize together really simple that's
19:13what we do gather together 10 15 minutes
19:17a day okay whenever it works for your
19:20family gather together read the
19:22scriptures together make some comments
19:24about what you read pray together sing
19:26songs together memorize some things
19:28together
19:29what about catechism I say catechism and
19:31people always get nervous you
19:34know what is catechism it's a form of
19:36instruction by means of questions and
19:38answers particularly in the principles
19:40of religion that's all catechism is a
19:42pedagogical method it's a form of
19:44instruction using questions and answers
19:47another definition an elementary book
19:49containing a summary of principles in
19:51any science or art but appropriately in
19:53religion reduced to the form of
19:56questions and answers and sometimes with
19:58notes explanations and references to
20:00authorities we use catechism all the
20:02time folks we use in fact we use
20:05catechism at the dinner table you use
20:07catechism you don't even know it your
20:09kids are sitting there and they go have
20:10some dessert and you look at their plate
20:12and there's vegetables on their plate
20:13and you go when do you get
20:15dessert that's the question they know
20:18the answer they look at their plate and
20:19they go when I finished all my
20:21vegetables their elbows are on the table
20:24and you look at their elbows and you go
20:25where do your elbows belong and they go
20:27under the table that's catechism you
20:30have taught them table manners through a
20:32series of questions and answers it's a
20:34teaching methodology and it has always
20:37been used in the church the same idea of
20:39the teaching methodology and so
20:41catechism teaches children
20:44theology one of the reasons we don't
20:46catechize is because we're no longer
20:47confessional catechisms are designed to
20:50teach confessions and so I get people
20:52all the time who say well what's a good
20:53catechism and you know how you were told
20:55in school there are no bad questions
20:58that's just not
21:01true there are bad questions and what's
21:04a good catechism is an example of a bad
21:08question what's a good catechism what
21:11are you catechizing for if I'm trying to
21:14catechize for table manners I don't need
21:16a catechism about
21:18math right so well what's a good
21:22catechism for
21:23theology what confession do you hold to
21:27if you're a presbyterian I'm going to
21:29tell you to go to Westminster catechism
21:31you're Christian Reformed Church I'm
21:32probably going to tell you to go to
21:33heidleberg if you're Baptist I'm
21:34probably going to send you to spurgeon's
21:36catechism or to the Baptist version of
21:37the Westminster if you're Lutheran I
21:39want to tell you to go to Luther's small
21:40catechism you see again it depends on
21:44where you are theologically so you can't
21:47just say what's a good catechism because
21:50the good catechism is determined by
21:52what's your
21:54confession it's an important tool
21:56historically
21:59and an effective pedagogical method
22:02useful for parents and children alike
22:04here's what we get often at our church
22:06um because at our church at we don't
22:08have any ageg graded ministries of any
22:09kind at our church none whatsoever we
22:12have an unspoken you know an unofficial
22:14motto with with our ministry uh toward
22:17men at our church and it is we look men
22:19in the eye and say I double dog dare you
22:22to deciple your family and there's
22:23nothing here that's going to do it for
22:25you you're flying without a net you do
22:27it or it doesn't get done will it equip
22:28you we'll encourage you we'll get tools
22:31in your hands we'll hold you accountable
22:33but you're going to do it not us you
22:35will not put it off on us and so if
22:37you're going to do this one of the
22:39questions that we're often asked is well
22:41I mean what do you do if there's a guy
22:43who just he he just he don't know come
22:46here from sium you know what do you do
22:48with that guy he's doesn't know anything
22:50how's he going to disciple his family
22:52well okay how about this that guy who
22:55doesn't know
22:57anything he needs to be
23:00catechized his children need to be
23:04catechized two birds one stone sir go
23:09home and catechize your kids yeah I
23:11don't know the catechism let me tell you
23:13a little secret they don't know what you
23:14don't know you just got to be a day
23:17ahead
23:23dude and so we start and often times
23:25we'll start with the catechism for Bo
23:27and girl by by the way what's the other
23:29alternative remove him from his home for
23:316 months while you make him worthy to to
23:33disciple his family that's ridiculous
23:36it's utterly ridiculous and so we give
23:38them like catechism for boys and girls
23:39you know who made you God made me what
23:41else did God make God made all things
23:42why did God make you in all things for
23:43his glory how can you glorify God by
23:45loving him doing what he commands why
23:46are you to glorify God because he made
23:47me and takes care of me right who is God
23:51God's the spirit doesn't have body like
23:52man these are the questions that they're
23:54asked in the catechism and they're made
23:56for children as soon as they become
23:58verbal men catechize their families and
24:02they're catechizing themselves as they
24:04go through these questions and answers
24:06again and again and again building a
24:08theological foundation in their own life
24:10through catechizing their
24:12children marriage enrichment equipping
24:15men with the importance of gospel
24:17centered marriage listen to this from
24:20John Calvin the more Satan has
24:22endeavored to dishonor marriage the more
24:24should we vindicate it from all reproach
24:26and abuse that it may receive its due
24:31reverence the great
24:33need the devaluation of marriage the
24:37devaluation of marriage and I don't mean
24:39you everybody's all you know upset about
24:41what's happening with your homosexual
24:42marriage and Chick-fil-A and all this
24:44sort of stuff yeah yeah that that yeah
24:46that's bad um but no fault divor divorce
24:49came
24:50first where where were we picketing
24:54then if you can't say Amen you all to
24:56say ouch okay all right attitude toward
24:59Mar the devaluation of marriage and I'm
25:01not just talking about no fault divorce
25:02I'm talking about the way even the way
25:03we raise our
25:04sons you know you want you want to know
25:07how Christians feel about marriage you
25:10let a young man 20 years old come to his
25:13parents and say I want to marry that
25:15girl his Christian parents will swallow
25:18their tongues they make you want
25:21who what
25:24you no you you wait wait for what well
25:29there's stuff you got to do you got to
25:32do stuff man there's
25:34important
25:37stuff here's what we communicate to our
25:39sons son this is the secret to marriage
25:42and life go live your life live your
25:46life to the full education travel
25:49Ministry everything and in one day later
25:52on maybe in your late 20s early 30s you
25:54find some young woman and you look at
25:56her and say I've sucked all of the joy
25:57out of life I'm ready to marry you and
26:03[Applause]
26:09die we don't encourage our sons to marry
26:12young because we have devalued
26:15marriage we have devalued marriage it's
26:18not a goal in fact we don't do anything
26:21to prepare our sons for marriage nothing
26:24we've got no plan whatsoever to prepare
26:26our sons to be husbands and fathers for
26:28the most part just not even a thought
26:31just one day they come and they're
26:33interested in somebody and we go well
26:35you know maybe we should
26:37talk and it's a done deal by then it's
26:40over with by then most Christian fathers
26:43don't talk to their sons about being
26:45husbands and fathers until they realize
26:48that their sons are so head over heels
26:50for a girl that it's probably
26:53inevitable and at that point whatever
26:55you're saying to him is going in here
26:58here and out
27:02there that's a problem and that's
27:05because we devalue marriage okay we
27:09devalue marriage is is same-sex marriage
27:11a problem yes it is but it's not the
27:14problem it's not the problem it's just
27:17the latest
27:19manifestation in the way that we've
27:20devalued marriage the rise of feminism
27:24the rise of feminism I'll talk about
27:26that in my session later uh homosexual
27:28marriage another issue the divorce rate
27:32another issue we we have a divorce rate
27:34that's just out of control by the way
27:36the divorce rate is bad but this is just
27:38another example of how we've devalued
27:40marriage and that's the 50% divorce rate
27:42myth we hear one and two marriages and
27:44in in divorce you get married you got a
27:4650 50-50 chance of making it we do not
27:49have nor have we ever had a 50% divorce
27:52rate in this country we're 35% maybe 40%
27:57we've never had at a 50% 50% divorce
27:59rate that's pure myth pure myth made up
28:02out of made out of whole cloth okay
28:05nothing but a myth and if you want to do
28:07any research on this um one of the
28:09things you can do is you can just go
28:11Google the 50% divorce myth okay it is a
28:15lie that half of all marriages in a
28:17divorce it is a lie that we have a 50%
28:21divorce rate we do not have a 50%
28:23divorce rate we have never had a 50%
28:26divorce rate the overwhelming majority
28:28of marriages last okay so even in
28:32talking about that 50% divorce rate like
28:35it's true we devalue marriage every time
28:38we give Credence to
28:39that prolonged singleness that's another
28:42one prolonged
28:44singleness the importance of marriage
28:47it's Cornerstone of
28:48society Nursery of the Next Generation
28:51it's a hedge against poverty by the way
28:53you know we talk about poverty and I get
28:55a lot of people talk about poverty here
28:56and I just have to check myself
28:58you know I I I have to check myself
29:00later on this month I'll be in Zambia
29:02and and bwana and South Africa um and
29:04it'll be probably my fifth trip to that
29:07part of the world um and and you know
29:10you when you've been to third
29:13world and I don't care if you go Asia
29:15Africa Europe South America where I
29:17don't care where you go if you've been
29:19to the third world it's hard for you to
29:22listen to people in America talk about
29:24poor people in America with a straight
29:26face we don't have poor people here if
29:28you believe we have poor people here
29:30youve never been to the third world
29:31country you you've been to a third world
29:33country and you come over here there are
29:34people there who would kill to be what
29:37we call Poor here okay but even if we
29:41accept the definition of poverty here if
29:43you take away women who are raising
29:45children by themselves off the the
29:48poverty roles we have almost no one on
29:51our poverty roles even here by our own
29:55standards almost all poverty is a direct
29:58result of women who are raising children
30:00by themselves fatherlessness okay the
30:04number one hedge against poverty on
30:06planet Earth is marriage it's
30:10marriage and the protection of women the
30:12protection of women marriage increases
30:15protection for
30:18women theological importance reflection
30:20of the Trinity we see that in Genesis
30:22chapter
30:231 the picture of the Gospel we see that
30:26in Ephesians chapter 5 Seminary the
30:28church and state um and also a foretaste
30:32of the consummation of all things at the
30:34End of the Age marriage is important
30:38Oliver Hayward again religion begins in
30:40individuals and passes on to relatives
30:43and lesser spheres of relationship make
30:46up greater churches and commonwealths
30:49consist of
30:54families 1 Peter 3:7 likewise husbands
30:57live with your wife lives in an
30:58understanding way showing honor to the
31:00woman as a weaker vessel since they are
31:02HS with you of the grace of life so that
31:05your prayers may not be hindered those
31:08prayers are the prayers that you offer
31:10together by the way Hebrews 13:4 let the
31:13marriage bed let marriage be held in
31:16honor among all and let the marriage bed
31:18be undefiled for God will judge the
31:20sexually immoral and adulterous God will
31:23judge the sexually immoral and
31:25adulterous and then of course in
31:27Revelation 9 what are we all pointing to
31:28let us rejoice and exalt and give him
31:31the glory for the marriage of the Lamb
31:32has come and his bride has made herself
31:35ready marriage is to be held in high
31:37esteem among us all third the
31:41third uh of these four is child training
31:44and discipleship teaching men the
31:46meaning of biblical parenting the great
31:49need why do we have the great need
31:50number one because of the rise of
31:51psychology we have been psychologized in
31:54the worst way by the way the most
31:56frequently completed course in college
31:59is psych 101 okay it's the most
32:02frequently completed course in college
32:06by far psych 101 we've been
32:09psychologized eroding confidence in the
32:12Bible there's a relationship between
32:13those two We Believe psychology knows
32:15what children need but the Bible doesn't
32:17uh biblical illiteracy so now we're
32:19psychologized we erode our confidence in
32:22the Bible and then we don't even know
32:23what the Bible says um and then poor or
32:26non-existent examples it's kind of a
32:28perfect storm and so when we talk about
32:30types of discipline formative discipline
32:32and corrective discipline uh formative
32:34discipline what we mean what do we mean
32:36um you find for example in Proverbs a
32:38Biblical discipline
32:40Continuum and it moves from less severe
32:43to more severe level one encourage
32:45proper behavior see that in Proverbs 31
32:4813-5 47 to8 level two inform of improper
32:51Behavior Proverbs 1 10-15 331 and 32
32:55level three explain the negative
32:56consequences of sin see that in Proverbs
32:581:18-19 Proverbs 5 3-6 uh Now we move to
33:03persuasive levels in levels 4 and 5 uh
33:06gently exhort Proverbs 41 and2 and then
33:10verse 14 and 16 and then level five
33:14gently rebuke or reprove Proverbs 3:12
33:1724 24 and 25 now we become corrective we
33:21move from formative discipline to
33:22corrective discipline level six corporal
33:24punishment that does not cause physical
33:26harm Proverbs 1918 1 24 23 13 to 14 2915
33:31spanking and and then we move to
33:33punitive now the punitive discipline on
33:36this Continuum um is old Covenant
33:40discipline um we we we have no
33:43separation between the church and the
33:45state um so when we talk about corporal
33:47punishment that causes physical harm
33:48Proverbs 10:31 or 2030 we're talking
33:51about that and then finally death being
33:52put to death um anybody just really
33:56grateful for the New Covenant um
34:01amen another one of our Puritans parents
34:05if your children do not meet with a
34:06spirit of piety in your house if on the
34:09contrary your pride consists in
34:11surrounding them with external gifts
34:13introducing them into worldly societies
34:15indulging all their whims letting them
34:18follow their own course you will see
34:20them grow vain proud Idol disobedient
34:24impudent and extravagant they will treat
34:27you with contempt and the more your
34:29hearts were wrapped up in them the less
34:31they will think of
34:34you that describes modern parenting to a
34:38te to a te okay corrective discipline we
34:43talk about spanking people just have
34:45trouble with it listen to this from John
34:47Wesley but some will tell you all this
34:49is lost labor a child need not be
34:51spanked at all instruction persuasion
34:53and advice will be sufficient for any
34:55child without spanking especially
34:57General reproof be added as occasion may
34:59require listen to Wesley's response I
35:02answer there may be particular instances
35:05where in this method may be successful
35:08but you must not in any wise lay this
35:09down as a universal rule unless you
35:11suppose yourself to be wiser than
35:13Solomon or to speak more properly wiser
35:16than God for it is God himself who best
35:19knoweth his own creatures that has told
35:21us expressly he that spareth the rod
35:23hateth his son but he that loveth him
35:25chasteneth him but times and upon this
35:27is grounded that plain commandment
35:30directed to all that fear God chasen thy
35:32son while there is hope and let not thy
35:35Soul spare for his
35:37crying spank your kids
35:40man spank your kids
35:44okay this is incredibly important that
35:46we understand corrective
35:49discipline the fourth quarter of these
35:52the fourth of these four things
35:54lifestyle evaluation teaching men to EV
35:57evaluate their pace of life this is
35:59equally important again if we're going
36:00to lead we have to lead in family
36:02evangelism discipleship we we get that
36:05okay um we we've got to lead in marriage
36:07enrichment we got to lead in training
36:09our children we also have to lead in
36:10lifestyle evaluation um do not love the
36:14world or the things in the world if
36:16anyone loves the world the love of the
36:17father is not in him for all that is in
36:19the world the desires of the flesh the
36:21desires of the eyes and the pride and
36:22possessions is not from the father but
36:24from the world the world is passing away
36:27Along with its desires but whoever does
36:29the will of God abides forever
36:34amen that is where our love must be but
36:36how do we do this how do we help our
36:38families to do this well several things
36:42let let's start principally first what
36:44creation teaches us about the use of
36:46time um what is a year Well a year is
36:50the measurement of the amount of time it
36:52takes for the earth to orbit the sun
36:55right we get that it's what a year is
36:56okay well what's a month well a month is
36:58a United time corresponding
37:00approximately to one cycle of the moon's
37:03phases
37:04okay what's a day well day is a United
37:09time corresponding to one cycle of the
37:10Earth's rotation on its
37:13axis
37:15um what's a
37:19week the only unit of time that does not
37:21correspond to the cycle of any Heavenly
37:25Body you don't get a weak from nature
37:29a week is an ecclesiastical me
37:32ecclesiastical measurement of time that
37:34only makes sense and light of the
37:36creation account in
37:40Genesis otherwise it makes no sense
37:43whatsoever to have a 7-Day week
37:49none thus the heavens and the Earth were
37:52finished and all the host of them and on
37:55the seventh day God finished his work he
37:57had done and he rested on the seventh
38:00day from all the work that he had done
38:03so God blessed the seventh day and made
38:05it holy because on it God rested from
38:09all his work that he had done in
38:13creation the Lord's Day in the pace of
38:17life will we find later on Exodus
38:20chapter
38:2120 remember the Sabbath day to keep it
38:23holy six days you shall labor and do all
38:25your work but the seventh day is a
38:27Sabbath to the Lord your God on it you
38:31shall not do any work you your son your
38:33daughter your male servant your female
38:35servant your livestock or the souljer
38:38who is within your gate for in six days
38:41the Lord made the heavens and the Earth
38:43the sea and all that is in them and
38:45rested on the seventh day therefore the
38:47Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it
38:50holy so what do we see here here here's
38:53what we learn just by the concept of a
38:557-Day week what God teach teaches us
38:57from Creation in creation order one the
39:00centrality of God the centrality of God
39:03organizing our life this way around work
39:08and
39:09worship recognizes the centrality of
39:12God secondly it recognizes the priority
39:15of worship it recognizes the priority of
39:18worship one day and seven one day and
39:21seven one day and seven it is Central it
39:23is Central to all that we do and it is
39:26symbolic of the fact that God bones all
39:28seven days
39:31amen teaches us the sovereignty of God
39:34because it reminds us every week reminds
39:37us that God created the world and he
39:40created it in a week
39:45amen teaches us the balance of work in
39:48life your work life must not be
39:53unrestrained your work life is
39:55restrained by your worship life
39:58your worship life dictates the pace and
40:01the pattern of your work life this
40:04teaches us how to evaluate our
40:06lifestyles show me a man who's having a
40:09difficult time with you know with with
40:11with worship and making worship and
40:13faithfulness to the worship of the Lord
40:15fit and I'll show you a man whose life
40:16is out of balance and out of
40:20control teaches us our duty as family
40:23Shepherds it is our responsibility to
40:26help our families evaluate their lives
40:29even down to their use of time look look
40:31at this again look at the look at the
40:32Commandment again on it you should do no
40:36no work you well who's the youu uh I
40:39don't know your sons and daughters okay
40:41the youu has Sons and Daughters um your
40:44male servant your female servant um your
40:49livestock and the Sojourner uh who's
40:51within your
40:53gate
40:55okay who's he talking to here heads of
41:01households he's talking to heads of
41:04households that's what he's talking to
41:06here you have a duty and a
41:08responsibility to teach your family
41:11about the proper pace of
41:14life that's part of our leadership
41:16responsibility as men that's part of our
41:18headship responsibility as men
41:22okay so then the question
41:25is how you living
41:29we have to evaluate our use of
41:31time how are we doing with our use of
41:33time this is lifestyle evaluation we
41:37have to evaluate our use of money how
41:39are we doing with our use of money often
41:42times when we talk about things that we
41:43can't do or we can't afford and so on
41:45and so forth it really do have anything
41:47to do with how much money we're making
41:49it has to do with how much money we're
41:50spending evaluate you're used of
41:52Technology okay I I'm I'm not and I know
41:56there are some faction in The Homeschool
41:58movement that are very
42:00anti-technology I'm I'm not part of that
42:02group I love technology amen hallelujah
42:05praise the Lord thank you for technology
42:08it's part of common Grace the goodness
42:11of God I'm grateful to God for the image
42:13of God in man that is creative and that
42:17continues to create technology it's
42:19wonderful technology it can be used for
42:22evil and it can be used for good uh but
42:25the advance of technology is a blessing
42:27to the kingdom of man it's wonderful um
42:29evaluate your use of entertainment okay
42:33evaluate your use of entertainment again
42:35this is one that can be kind of touchy
42:37within homeschool circles there's some
42:39people in homeschool circles man if you
42:40got a television you know you just
42:43you're anatha you know you just you
42:45don't even you don't even deserve to
42:47breathe or call yourself a Christian you
42:48know um but evaluate you of
42:51entertainment all right there's got to
42:52be there's some there's some balance
42:54between you know we refuse to use
42:57electricity and we'll watch anything
43:00that comes on no matter what okay
43:02somewhere in the middle of there is a
43:05probably a good place um evaluate your
43:08use of your spiritual gifts how how are
43:11you as a family uh being used by the
43:14Lord uh in Ministry to others okay all
43:19right there's a lot more that we could
43:23uh say and talk about on this but
43:26there's two things I want to do
43:27um one I I want to tell you about some
43:29helpful resources again and two I want
43:31you to have time to ask some
43:33questions um what I've done in family
43:35Shepherds has divided this book into
43:37those four areas um but also done it in
43:41a way to help you understand how we use
43:44it to equip men uh at our church and so
43:47we have a monthly men's meeting we
43:48divide the year up into four quarters
43:50each quarter we're dealing with one of
43:51these four areas um and so I give you
43:54the biblical and Theological foundation
43:56for each of those four areas and also
43:59just some little tools and pointers as
44:01to how to apply this in a local church
44:04context or local church setting to
44:06equipping men um to think through and
44:08lead in these particular areas and then
44:11another resource that I want to make you
44:12aware of uh there's the the book what he
44:14must be if he wants to marry my daughter
44:17um this is really just a a a practical
44:20biblical apologetic for manhood okay
44:24what what is it what does a husband and
44:26father look like and as I've said before
44:28um there are a lot of guys who have
44:30gotten this you know so that they could
44:31beat their daughters over the head with
44:33it because of some guy that they don't
44:34approve of and and and the dad who gets
44:37this to go beat his daughter over the
44:39head gets a spank in first um because
44:43because it paints a picture of his
44:44responsibility um and so this one would
44:47go right along with that especially in
44:48the area of marriage enrichment uh and
44:50then there's a conference that I've done
44:52that I do related to this book and this
44:55is that conference with the four
44:56sessions from the conference conference
44:57uh plus uh Q&A and an interview here and
45:00all of those are available down at our
45:02booth also there are some other tools
45:04that we have available that we use um
45:07for family worship and catechism they
45:10call truth and Grace memory books
45:11they're from a Reformed Baptist
45:12perspective um so again if you're
45:15Presbyterian or Lutheran um we don't
45:17have those or Christian Reformed Church
45:19or whatever we don't we don't have any
45:21of those um sort of tools down there for
45:22you but these are from a baptistic
45:24perspective so if you're interested in
45:26at least seeing those those will be down
45:28there um at the table for you um as well
45:32okay um all right and we we'll we'll
45:35give those to somebody before we before
45:37we leave um had to decide who we give
45:40them to though all right um
45:44questions yes sir
45:57yeah yeah you got to buy my
45:59book
46:01yeah glad you picked up on that bro I'm
46:03glad you picked up on that yeah that's
46:05that's that's good man that's perceptive
46:07of you yeah yeah yeah
46:13yeah I'm not going to tell
46:17you how much hey uh $10 yeah yeah it
46:24could be man it could be it could be
46:28other yes
46:32sir uh what does spanking look like to
46:35me how old um you I start spanking when
46:39I start seeing Folly um and that's
46:42different from from child to
46:44child um um I stop spanking when I stop
46:47seeing Folly and that's different from
46:49from child to child yeah um yeah yeah
46:55it's it's I don't set an age at which I
46:57stopped spanking for two reasons one um
47:00because every individual is different
47:02and two you never let your adversary
47:04know when you're going to withdraw your
47:05forces you know um so yeah I
47:10don't yeah yeah I mean I mean really if
47:13I got out of hand like right now I'm 43
47:16years old if I got out of hand and my
47:18mother told me I had to take a whipping
47:20I probably would you
47:23know yeah is Sunday night or over
47:26program
47:31church is Sunday nights are over
47:34programming from the church impeding the
47:36idea of uh biblical rest no because
47:41we're called to rest from our labors not
47:43from our
47:44worship so no not at all yeah yeah
47:51yesing a lot of us
48:04yeah days hours my Bible I get all these
48:08tools start
48:16then yeah it's a great question just you
48:18know we we we hear about this and we
48:20decid we're going to do this um but but
48:22we have to work we have to provide and
48:24so we we get into this and and work
48:26happens and other things start to happen
48:28and we sort of get away from this
48:29pattern here's what I always encourage
48:31guys with um think about it this way
48:34let's let's say you have a thousand
48:35opportunities just to get a round number
48:37you have a thousand opportunities to
48:39gather with your family for Family
48:40Worship okay and here's what a lot of
48:43times we do we go you know if I can't
48:46get all thousand or if I can't get at
48:48least 900 I may as well not
48:50start I'm saying take everyone you can
48:54and so your life gets out of whack and
48:55you miss for a good while you just go
48:58man I hate the fact that we missed all
49:00those times but let's take advantage of
49:02every time and every opportunity that we
49:03have so don't think about Family Worship
49:06in terms of the percentage of days that
49:09you hit just think about family worship
49:11as an opportunity and an obligation that
49:14you have um and I always encourage
49:17attaching it to meal time we got to eat
49:20right um and so attach it to a meal time
49:23that does a couple of things one it
49:24leads to Greater consistency but two two
49:27if you're not if you attach Family
49:29Worship meal time and you get to a place
49:31where you're not able to have meals with
49:33your family more than likely you're in
49:35sin with your
49:36schedule if you can't take any meals
49:40with your family you know but you're
49:42either in sin or you've been
49:43deployed you know um
49:48yes family rest
50:08yeah yeah and it it is and that's the
50:09whole point he's talking about the
50:11Lord's day and preparing to be able to
50:12spend that that that that time and it
50:15that's what it does when you make that
50:17commitment and again we're we're not
50:19talking about um you know even even
50:23whether whether you're sabari and or not
50:25sabari whether you believe you you know
50:26that the Lord's day is the Christian
50:28Sabbath so on and so forth we can even
50:30leave that aside not even talking about
50:33that but all of us understand that
50:35creation gives us that pattern and
50:37there's a work and worship pattern um
50:40and when once you acknowledge that you
50:43know you don't we don't have to all have
50:44to agree on what you can do or what you
50:46can't do or so on and so forth but once
50:48we acknowledge the fact that God has
50:49given us that pattern it forces you to
50:52think during those six days about how to
50:54be a good Steward of the seventh so so
50:57yes
51:31yeah I think I think you know you sort
51:33of left our topic a little bit when
51:36you're talking about defaulting on loans
51:37and overextension on loans and buying
51:40property
51:41and no you're talking very specifically
51:44about you want you if you want that
51:46specific answer I'm not the guy to get
51:48it but if you have a more general
51:50question you know about your financial
51:53obligations versus your work um what I'm
51:55going to say is you've got to somehow
51:58get out from under those financial
51:59obligations you know do it honorably but
52:03you you've got to somehow get out from
52:05under those financial Financial
52:06Obligations you can't afford it that's
52:09where we are as a country is it not
52:11right we can't afford it we can't afford
52:14it and one of the reasons that our
52:16economy is going to collapse hear hear
52:19me on that our economy is going to
52:21collapse and one of the reasons that I
52:22can guarantee that our economy is going
52:24to collapse is cuz we're in that
52:26position as a country where we have
52:28obligations that I mean the math doesn't
52:30work I don't care what kind of math you
52:33you go out there you Singapore math or
52:35math UC see or teaching textbooks or
52:37whatever the math doesn't work man you
52:39know um and so because of that um we're
52:41going to default we're going to collapse
52:43there's going to be a major economic
52:45collapse um and so on a household level
52:48the same thing is true if you're
52:50overextended and you got obligations out
52:52there that you cannot afford somehow
52:54somehow you have to get rid of those
52:56obligations you do so as honorably and
53:00as biblically as you can but you've got
53:01to get out from under those obligations
53:04you know cuz it the math doesn't work
53:05otherwise both financially and as far as
53:09the time that you're spending with your
53:10family now on the particulars you know
53:12properties and overse I'll leave that to
53:15somebody else yeah yes back here
53:35yeah we I I only catechize individuals
53:38yeah I don't catechize corporately um
53:41because we can't because our kids range
53:44from 22 down to 5 months so if we were
53:46just going to categ guys corporately
53:48we'd always be at the lowest common
53:50denominator um so we we always we we we
53:53kind of do a combination um where you
53:57know you start everybody with the basic
53:58questions and then the little ones are
53:59done and then the next little one is
54:01done and then the next little one is
54:03done and so on and so forth until we get
54:04to the people who have you know more
54:06more of the thing memorized that's one
54:08one way that it works out for us other
54:10people will do catechism you know at
54:12separate times for uh each of the kids
54:15or whatnot but you know that
54:16logistically didn't work for us but you
54:18just you just do it in a way that you do
54:21it in a way that works um some people do
54:23it both ends some people do you know
54:25they're catechizing their children like
54:26that so that the children are moving
54:28through at their own pace and these
54:30books that we have at our table you know
54:32there's you get a book generally for
54:33each child or you can get one book you
54:35sign off for where each child is so that
54:37they know where they are individually
54:39but then like familywise depending on
54:41what you're studying in your family
54:42worship time you may all be remembering
54:46a particular catechism question together
54:49um so I mean it's just like everything
54:51else in homeschool world man you just
54:53got to make it fit you know you just got
54:55to make it fit yeah yes we'll go there
54:57and then
55:03here in a relational
55:06manner say again how
55:11doy
55:16uhhuh relation relationally how do we
55:19model biblical biblical masculinity to
55:20this generation of sons same way it's
55:23always been done and that's through time
55:24together you you there's no substitute
55:26for for it you cannot model masculinity
55:28to your son without spending time with
55:30your sons so we have to find a way to
55:33spend time with our sons period I mean
55:35that's it there's no substitute for
55:38it
55:44yes yeah the diffence yeah there's a
55:46difference between busyness and
55:47productivity uh busyness for example we
55:50can have our kids in you know you every
55:53sport that comes up and every
55:56extracurricular activity that comes up
55:58and I can be involved in you know every
56:00sort of uh activity that comes up and I
56:02can be extremely busy but not really
56:05moving toward anything productive um or
56:09I can be selective in the things you
56:11know that that I do we can be selective
56:14in the things that we participate in so
56:16that everything that we do has a purpose
56:17and it's not just um this the this is
56:21the next next season to come up so here
56:23we go um so rather than just trying to
56:25stay busy
56:27um we we we need to be we need to be
56:29productive so
56:44yes yeah the question is how can we how
56:47can we be in of encouragement to our
56:49wives if they're uh taking the brunt of
56:51the schedule as far as the teaching the
56:53day-to-day teaching I I think one of the
56:55ways is offering this kind of effective
57:00sort of top level leadership making sure
57:03that our wives understand that there is
57:06a big picture that we're sort of
57:09striving for um I think the second thing
57:11is sometimes we need to help our wives
57:14slow down I mean there's a lot of times
57:16when I've had to you know as a husband
57:19just sort of
57:20say why why why you know what's what's
57:26the matter baby God we just got to do so
57:29why well because if we don't do this
57:31then we're not going to get to that and
57:32you know that's a problem why well just
57:35because you know I want to okay why and
57:38ultimately what I'm getting to is
57:40where's the person who's governing our
57:43home saying that this has to be finished
57:45by a certain date I haven't met them
57:48yet okay sometimes as a father that's
57:51what we have to do we have to remind
57:53them that we're not governed by
57:55anybody's schedule you know I mean I who
57:58who says we got to be finished by the
58:00summertime you know who said who who
58:03where'd that come from um and I for me
58:05that's been one of the most helpful
58:07things is to just sort of be able to say
58:10that's okay that's cool you know that
58:14one right there might not read till he's
58:1612 you
58:19know be all good tell you what though by
58:2313 it's going to be awesome you know
58:27so sometime I mean a lot really a lot of
58:29times especially if your wife was a
58:30school teacher or if your kids spent a
58:32lot of time in the school system I mean
58:34a lot of times that's the biggest help
58:35that you can be um you know maybe you
58:37could take some subjects help them take
58:38some time off um but really giving this
58:41sort of top level leadership is really
58:43important along with helping them you
58:45know back here and here yes
58:52yeah um can I give you an example of how
58:54I balance family life with with my with
58:56my bu business my travel schedule number
58:58one I I only travel about 6 days a month
59:01two I office at home I have for probably
59:03the last 10 or 15 years um officed at my
59:06home um you know three um I I I
59:10catechize my children every morning I
59:11leave Family Worship every night uh once
59:14my boys reach age 13 I become their
59:16full-time teacher every subject every
59:17day so they travel with me full-time
59:19wherever I go um so those are those are
59:22just a few things for me based on our
59:24life and the things that we have
59:26um that that I do to sort of help help
59:29balance that so
59:36yes man you know we we we have our
59:39dinner together and we have our family
59:41worship together we read together um we
59:44sing together we pray together um it's
59:49really not complicated we we keep things
59:52we keep things very simple but you know
59:54with that kind of you know with eight
59:55kids and that kind kind of of uh range
59:58it's never dull you know it's it's never
1:00:01dull there's never a dull moment all
1:00:03right let me go over here and then I
1:00:05think my I think my time is up too yes
1:00:24uhuh yeah yeah
1:00:26yeah he's saying that it's really hard
1:00:28we come here and we get information like
1:00:30this and then we go home and it's it's
1:00:34hard we tend to sort of blow it we tend
1:00:36to sort of Let It lie um and that's one
1:00:39of the reasons that I believe it's
1:00:40important that we have to create a
1:00:41culture of family discipleship um and
1:00:44and that's one of the things um I I I
1:00:46don't know what kind of surroundings you
1:00:49have I don't know what kind of men you
1:00:50have around you but it it's it's it's
1:00:54incredibly important and extremely
1:00:56helpful to have a culture of family
1:00:58discipleship that you're at least
1:01:00exposed to um and I I don't I don't know
1:01:04I don't know how we could do what we do
1:01:07in our setting if we didn't have um an
1:01:11environment where we created a culture
1:01:13of family discipleship because it is
1:01:14tough and it does get discouraging and
1:01:17it can seem monot monotonous um this is
1:01:20a discipline you know this is a
1:01:21discipline you know um one of the things
1:01:24let me just give you this but before
1:01:26we're done the worst thing you can do
1:01:29the most dangerous thing you can do is
1:01:30try to make Family Worship
1:01:32fun worst thing you could possibly do I
1:01:35mean it it's the absolute worst thing
1:01:37you could possibly do um number one
1:01:40because as soon as you try to make it
1:01:42fun who you try to make it fun for your
1:01:44kids you're teaching them that they're
1:01:45the center of Family Worship not Christ
1:01:47so you have a theological problem right
1:01:49off the bat number two you're going to
1:01:51have to constantly outdo yourself in
1:01:54order to keep them entertained number
1:01:56three you are teaching them a warped
1:01:59view of
1:02:02worship do not try to make this fun
1:02:05that's not our goal okay keep it simple
1:02:08keep it short um you know try to get our
1:02:10kids involved and engaged um but you
1:02:12know if if we make it our goal uh to
1:02:15have them
1:02:16entertained um this will be shortlived
1:02:20that that's one way to make this
1:02:21shortlived you know it's a discipline it
1:02:24really is it's a discipline okay yes
1:02:27this be the
1:02:42lasts her own
1:02:48own
1:02:54am can we do as HBS
1:02:57to them in that process it is a lot of
1:03:00sacrif yeah great question you know and
1:03:03our our wives look at homeschooling they
1:03:05think they think of this as sacrifice
1:03:07they had dreams and goals and
1:03:08aspirations and especially with the rise
1:03:10of feminism 're we're not raising women
1:03:13anymore in our culture we're raising men
1:03:14who happen to be biologically capable of
1:03:16having children and so our our our our
1:03:19wives um have especially in in this
1:03:22generation our wives have been raised to
1:03:25be gatherers um not wives and mothers um
1:03:28and so the kind of goals and hopes and
1:03:31aspirations that a lot of these women
1:03:32are walking away from sometimes are
1:03:34absolutely huge um so how do you help
1:03:36encourage a woman you know when she's
1:03:39quote unquote giving up all these things
1:03:41first is you never talk about it in
1:03:43terms of her giving up all these things
1:03:46I'm an adopted father six of our eight
1:03:48children came to our family through
1:03:50adoption one of the things you learned
1:03:51early on as an adopted father is you
1:03:54don't talk about women giving up their
1:03:55baby B for
1:03:56adoption women make a plan for their
1:03:59child they don't give up anything
1:04:02they're doing anything but giving up
1:04:04when they make a plan for that child to
1:04:06be adopted when a woman makes a decision
1:04:09to be a homeschooled mom she's not
1:04:10giving up anything she is investing her
1:04:13life in something far more significant
1:04:16than anything the world out there has to
1:04:17offer and one of the things we need to
1:04:19do is stop talking about what they gave
1:04:23up all right
1:04:27and my my time is gone I may have even
1:04:30been a little bit over um I'm I'm going
1:04:33down to the table um if you have to go
1:04:35to lunch go ahead and go to lunch but uh
1:04:37I don't know if I'll be able to get
1:04:38there after the 1:00 session going down
1:04:40to the table get there be glad to answer
1:04:42your questions show you how these things
1:04:44work if you are pastor church leader
1:04:47want to understand um how to implement
1:04:51this um with a group of men um I'll be
1:04:54down there is also Al at least one of
1:04:57our other Elders Who's down there um and
1:04:59a couple of other guys down there who
1:05:02can help you so if that's you just come
1:05:04to the table and let me know that you
1:05:06want to spend some time with somebody
1:05:07talking about that and and we'll hook
1:05:09you up
1:05:24okay e

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