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The Quran and Pop Psychology - Khutbah by Nouman Ali Khan — Transcript

by Nouman Ali Khan - Official - Bayyinah · 5,082 words · 758 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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  1. 0:29Al
  2. 0:31Allah in the Quran
  3. 0:34has given us an incredible Insight on
  4. 0:37how to see ourselves and how to see the
  5. 0:39world around us and the place I want to
  6. 0:42start today is actually not the Ayah
  7. 0:44from that I read a small bit of but
  8. 0:47actually
  9. 0:48from where Allah subhana wa
  10. 0:58says
  11. 1:01Allah says we will show them our signs
  12. 1:03our miracles in the horizons and inside
  13. 1:07themselves inside of themselves until it
  14. 1:11becomes abundantly clear to them that it
  15. 1:14is the truth now let's think about that
  16. 1:16for a moment Allah has given us
  17. 1:18Revelation the Quran and the one of the
  18. 1:21goals of the Quran for any human being
  19. 1:23who contemplates the Quran is they
  20. 1:25become convinced that this word is in
  21. 1:27fact the word of God it is the truth
  22. 1:29truth so part of its goals the ayat of
  23. 1:32Allah that have been revealed is to make
  24. 1:34it clear to a human being that this in
  25. 1:37fact is it is the ultimate truth also
  26. 1:40interestingly has another meaning also
  27. 1:43means purpose like Allah
  28. 1:47says he created the skies and the Earth
  29. 1:49with truth what also means with purpose
  30. 1:52so not only do we get truth from the
  31. 1:54Quran we get purpose from the Quran our
  32. 1:57existence is Not an Accident our life is
  33. 1:59not just chaos it's not just a temporary
  34. 2:02experience and then it's over it is a
  35. 2:04purposeful and meaningful existence
  36. 2:06right and these are the conclusions a
  37. 2:08person draws when they contemplate the
  38. 2:10word of Allah but in this Ayah Allah now
  39. 2:14says that we will show them our signs
  40. 2:16not in the Quran but in the horizons
  41. 2:19outside and we will show them our signs
  42. 2:21inside of
  43. 2:23themselves until it becomes clear to
  44. 2:26them that it is in fact true meaning the
  45. 2:28Revelation the message of the Revelation
  46. 2:31is also
  47. 2:32encoded inside of
  48. 2:34ourselves and the the result the
  49. 2:36conclusions that the Revelation leads us
  50. 2:38to that fundamental conclusion
  51. 2:41of the fundamental conclusion that one
  52. 2:44day we will stand in front of our the
  53. 2:46fundamental conclusion that this life is
  54. 2:48in fact temporary and leads to something
  55. 2:50much bigger these fundamental
  56. 2:52conclusions Allah is saying anyone who
  57. 2:55contemplates the horizons the skies and
  58. 2:58anyone who cont contemplates deep within
  59. 3:01themselves will arrive at these
  60. 3:02conclusions they will realize that it in
  61. 3:04fact is the truth so you you get a very
  62. 3:07clear message from the Quran that at the
  63. 3:10very least there are three kinds of ayat
  64. 3:13at least there are ayat of the Quran the
  65. 3:17ayat of Revelation and the other
  66. 3:20categories you can call them all but you
  67. 3:22can sub subdivide them also as there are
  68. 3:25the ayat of creation the horizons that
  69. 3:27Allah calls there's ayat
  70. 3:30inside of ourselves there are ayat right
  71. 3:33there's and and all of those ayat the
  72. 3:34purpose of an Ayah is to guide you it's
  73. 3:37to guide me and Allah is saying all of
  74. 3:40these are means by which we can guide it
  75. 3:41now this changes our view of how it is
  76. 3:44that a person reaches
  77. 3:46guidance in fact another place in the
  78. 3:48Quran Allah
  79. 3:54says Allah says in the skies and the
  80. 3:57Earth there are miraculous signs for
  81. 3:58people who are going to believe for
  82. 4:00believers just like there are ayat in
  83. 4:03Revelation for believers now Allah is
  84. 4:04saying the skies the Earth have ayat for
  85. 4:07believers they're also a kind of book
  86. 4:09that you have to read and contemplate
  87. 4:12what that does for the Muslim is it
  88. 4:14changes their view of how they explore
  89. 4:16life when we're learning our Dean we're
  90. 4:19learning our Dean when we open up the
  91. 4:20book we learn about our Prophet
  92. 4:22sallallahu alaihi wasallam we learned
  93. 4:23about Allah we learned about the
  94. 4:25previous prophets this is one way of
  95. 4:26learning our Dean and it is the
  96. 4:28fundamental way of learning our
  97. 4:30but
  98. 4:31actually studying geology studying
  99. 4:35history studying chemistry studying
  100. 4:38physics studying astronomy these
  101. 4:41Sciences but we're studying the AF is
  102. 4:44also in fact something that can lead a
  103. 4:47human being back to Allah I'm reminded
  104. 4:49of a famous case and fortunately now his
  105. 4:52interview is available on YouTube you
  106. 4:54can search it yourselves Professor
  107. 4:56Maurice bua was a very famous uh
  108. 4:59embryologist ol ologist who in his own
  109. 5:01studies when he was living in the Muslim
  110. 5:02world and he saw these people that are
  111. 5:04so devout to their religion he was
  112. 5:06curious about them and he wondered what
  113. 5:07the what their book has to say about his
  114. 5:10subject his field and he's he's been
  115. 5:12dealing with embryology his entire
  116. 5:14career one of the world's leading
  117. 5:15Canadian embryologists and he studies
  118. 5:18the Quran and he's among the Arab so he
  119. 5:19asked them okay I'm reading this in the
  120. 5:21translation about the formation of a
  121. 5:23baby but tell me about this word and
  122. 5:25tell me about this word and he starts
  123. 5:26exploring the meanings of the words in
  124. 5:28the Quran and because of his knowledge
  125. 5:30of embryology it led him to Islam and he
  126. 5:34talks about why he became so convinced
  127. 5:37that the aat of Allah were comment
  128. 5:39commenting on the ayat of creation and
  129. 5:41there was no inconsistency between them
  130. 5:44you know another very interesting figure
  131. 5:47who actually is in in the UK it might be
  132. 5:49uh back in the US sometimes too
  133. 5:51Professor Abdullah Rothman who you know
  134. 5:54studied all kinds of psychology studied
  135. 5:57psychology all over the world in fact he
  136. 5:58became interested Ed in the question
  137. 6:00what is the soul before he was Muslim
  138. 6:03what is what is the soul and he wanted
  139. 6:06to know what the Hindus describe the
  140. 6:08soul as he wanted to know what the
  141. 6:10shamans describ the soul as what are
  142. 6:12people that have these weird religions
  143. 6:13in the middle of the Jungle in the
  144. 6:14Amazon how do they describe the soul
  145. 6:16what are their spiritual experiences how
  146. 6:19did the Christians look at it how he
  147. 6:21traveled the world sat among he sat in
  148. 6:24he sat in Hindu temples for months just
  149. 6:26to get a spiritual experience the way
  150. 6:28the Hindus get it you know he sat among
  151. 6:30Buddhist he all in all of these
  152. 6:33experiences and he did not consider
  153. 6:35Islam one of the
  154. 6:36contenders for his exploration until in
  155. 6:39the end somebody recommended why don't
  156. 6:40you look at Islam and what the what he
  157. 6:43what it has to say about this all and
  158. 6:44this is someone who's well educated and
  159. 6:46well-versed in the science of psychology
  160. 6:49in the science of self and he arrives at
  161. 6:52the conclusion he teaches Islamic
  162. 6:55psychology now what I'm trying to get at
  163. 6:58is
  164. 7:00the study of outside of our Dean what
  165. 7:03you know lately we started calling it
  166. 7:05religious education secular education we
  167. 7:08separated these two right there's
  168. 7:10religious education and there's secular
  169. 7:11education this is a new definition this
  170. 7:14did not exist in our religion in fact
  171. 7:16our religion told
  172. 7:20us go travel in the world find out
  173. 7:23figure out contemplate how did creation
  174. 7:26begin how did they learn about the false
  175. 7:30learn about the ru find these skeletal
  176. 7:32structures go find out how creation
  177. 7:36began this is Allah telling the believer
  178. 7:39not to close their eyes and you know
  179. 7:42keep the outside world outside because
  180. 7:44it will ruin your faith you know other
  181. 7:46religions I don't have to name any of
  182. 7:48them but other religions they would
  183. 7:50basically tell people don't learn
  184. 7:53anything from the outside it will
  185. 7:54corrupt your faith it will make you
  186. 7:56start having doubts if you want to
  187. 7:58preserve reserve your faith stay within
  188. 8:01this protected Circle only listen to
  189. 8:04these these people and if you listen to
  190. 8:06them you will your IM will be
  191. 8:08protected the devil will not get to you
  192. 8:11but the Quran came and it acknowledged
  193. 8:14that Allah gave the human being such a
  194. 8:16powerful a more powerful tool than
  195. 8:18anything else the human mind the human
  196. 8:21heart the soul and it's supposed to
  197. 8:23arrive at the truth by engaging with
  198. 8:26exploration and the more you explore not
  199. 8:29you become more doubtful the more you
  200. 8:31explore the more convinced you become
  201. 8:33it's the opposite we were supposed to be
  202. 8:35a people of exploration that's what we
  203. 8:37were supposed to be but there's a dark
  204. 8:39side to
  205. 8:41exploration science can be a spiritual
  206. 8:44experience it can be I've met people
  207. 8:47that have studied philosophy and history
  208. 8:48and that became a spiritual experience
  209. 8:50that led them back to Islam it can be
  210. 8:53but science let's take science for an
  211. 8:55example science by itself is
  212. 8:58blind science has no conscience science
  213. 9:01is not about good or evil it's just
  214. 9:05observation when somebody studying
  215. 9:07chemistry there are not chemicals and
  216. 9:10you know facd chemicals it's just
  217. 9:13chemicals when somebody studying physics
  218. 9:15it's just physical physical formula it's
  219. 9:17just quantum mechanics it's just you
  220. 9:19know these are just phenomenon you're
  221. 9:21observing reality but people have a
  222. 9:24conscience so if you let's remove God
  223. 9:27and remove spirituality and remove
  224. 9:29guidance from the equation and just look
  225. 9:31at science for a moment if somebody
  226. 9:33looks at science without
  227. 9:36any not looking at as as as an at it as
  228. 9:40an Ayah that leads to something bigger
  229. 9:41if you look at it that way then it's
  230. 9:44very easy to say that we can use science
  231. 9:47for very evil purposes
  232. 9:49too it's the same science that creates
  233. 9:52nuclear weapons it's the same science
  234. 9:54that creates chemical weapons it's the
  235. 9:57same science that creates addictive
  236. 9:59drugs that thousands of people are
  237. 10:00addicted to around the world aren't
  238. 10:02isn't it it's also a product of science
  239. 10:05it's the same science that creates
  240. 10:06weapons that kill people it's the same
  241. 10:09science that creates you know uh
  242. 10:11carcinogens it's the same science that
  243. 10:13people use to produce manufacture
  244. 10:15synthetic food that they know can cause
  245. 10:17all kinds of health issues but it makes
  246. 10:19them a lot of money it's scientists that
  247. 10:21are doing a lot of scientific study to
  248. 10:24produce what's being
  249. 10:25produced and science is all around us
  250. 10:29the Quran is simply telling us something
  251. 10:31it's telling us that when you look at
  252. 10:33the if you study and explore science but
  253. 10:36you are seeking purpose then you will
  254. 10:39find it but if you remove purpose from
  255. 10:41the equation then you can turn that into
  256. 10:44anything and in fact that's even true of
  257. 10:47the Quran wild enough if somebody comes
  258. 10:50to the Quran and they are not seeking
  259. 10:53purpose they're not they're just curious
  260. 10:55but they're not seeking purpose they can
  261. 10:58very well find misguidance from this
  262. 11:00book Allah himself
  263. 11:07says even the Quran you cannot get
  264. 11:09guidance from it if you don't come with
  265. 11:11the right
  266. 11:12mindset I know very very well educated
  267. 11:16professors phds in the study of the
  268. 11:18Quran that are non-muslim I know them
  269. 11:21they've been studying the Quran for 25
  270. 11:2330 years they know more Quran than most
  271. 11:25Muslims they know more Arabic and more
  272. 11:29classical that than most Muslims but
  273. 11:31they're not Muslim they'll go to a
  274. 11:33conference they'll discuss a Surah for
  275. 11:36five hours and discuss every Ayah and
  276. 11:39discuss the MU and then their lunch
  277. 11:41break they're going to go have a
  278. 11:42champagne that's that's normal for them
  279. 11:45because they don't come to the Quran for
  280. 11:47guidance the same way you don't you
  281. 11:49don't have to study the science or study
  282. 11:51science for purpose the same way that
  283. 11:54even applies to the word of Allah but I
  284. 11:56wanted to turn this conversation briefly
  285. 11:58to towards something else I wanted to
  286. 12:00turn it towards a new science that took
  287. 12:04hold of the world in the last 100 to 150
  288. 12:07years and that's the science of
  289. 12:09psychology before psychology when a
  290. 12:12human being experienced difficulty
  291. 12:14emotionally they went through a tough
  292. 12:15experience or they wanted to overcome
  293. 12:18their sadness and their grief for
  294. 12:20example right they would turn towards
  295. 12:24religion before psychology or they would
  296. 12:27turn towards philosophy because
  297. 12:28philosophy asked the question what is
  298. 12:30pain why is there suffering in the world
  299. 12:33what is this world all about right
  300. 12:34philosophers try to answer this question
  301. 12:36so doesn't matter what religion people
  302. 12:39turn towards religion to answer their
  303. 12:42questions of the things that were
  304. 12:43troubling them in their heart but then
  305. 12:46philosophy and even the spiritual study
  306. 12:49of psychology spirituality they
  307. 12:51basically got replaced slowly with this
  308. 12:54new thing we now call psychology and a
  309. 12:57psychology is an attempt to understand
  310. 13:00ourselves understand our deepest
  311. 13:01thoughts understand our
  312. 13:03subconscious understand our emotions
  313. 13:06understand other people's behavior our
  314. 13:07own behavior right you people go to a
  315. 13:10therapist and say why do I get so angry
  316. 13:11all the time why can't I stop crying you
  317. 13:16know why do people treat me this way etc
  318. 13:18etc and you know I'm a student of
  319. 13:19psychology myself and I can tell you
  320. 13:22it's a very elaborate science it's an
  321. 13:25exhaustive study there are it's not just
  322. 13:27one subject it's actually multiple
  323. 13:29departments social psychology
  324. 13:30personality psychology abnormal
  325. 13:32psychology these are worlds within
  326. 13:34worlds within worlds and people have
  327. 13:36dedicated entire academic careers to
  328. 13:38exploring more and more areas of
  329. 13:40psychology all of it by the way is
  330. 13:42connected to Something in the Quran
  331. 13:44Allah
  332. 13:47said they'll we'll show them our aat
  333. 13:50inside themselves and what is psychology
  334. 13:52doing it's an exploration of the self
  335. 13:55that's what it is but it removes
  336. 13:57fundamentally REM removes God from the
  337. 14:00equation now the per you know like I
  338. 14:03said science without purpose can give
  339. 14:05you chemical weapons can give you
  340. 14:07addictive
  341. 14:08drugs psychology with the removal of
  342. 14:11purpose removal of Allah from the
  343. 14:12equation what does it give you something
  344. 14:16has to be there that is the ultimate
  345. 14:17truth and for what ha what happened in
  346. 14:19the world of psychology and what's even
  347. 14:21crazier is not just in the academic
  348. 14:23psychology with because of social media
  349. 14:26something else happened before I get to
  350. 14:27my observations and that is that in any
  351. 14:30subject let's say
  352. 14:32physics any subject let's say mechanics
  353. 14:35there are people that actually know
  354. 14:37mechanics they actually know physics and
  355. 14:39those are professors and phds and
  356. 14:41researchers but they don't have a
  357. 14:42YouTube
  358. 14:43page but there's an 18-year-old who's
  359. 14:46read a couple of books on it and he's
  360. 14:48got a 5 million followers on his YouTube
  361. 14:50page and he's a much more popular you
  362. 14:53know content producer on physics even
  363. 14:55though some of his physics is a joke if
  364. 14:58academics actually looked at his work
  365. 15:00they' say what is this but he's got more
  366. 15:02followers because now you can present
  367. 15:04content in a more interesting way even
  368. 15:07if it's not well researched and it will
  369. 15:09sound convincing right so what happened
  370. 15:12with the world of psychology there is
  371. 15:13phds and research and Analysis and books
  372. 15:16and then there are people who come up
  373. 15:18with their own content and they'll come
  374. 15:20up and say let me tell you what a
  375. 15:22narcissist is let me tell you what a
  376. 15:25toxic person is let me tell you how to
  377. 15:27draw boundaries let me tell you if this
  378. 15:30let me tell you about trauma and you've
  379. 15:32got these people that just became self
  380. 15:36diagnosing and now these terms became
  381. 15:38popular among even the Muslim Community
  382. 15:40now you have a young man saying you know
  383. 15:42my father's so toxic he's always
  384. 15:45gaslighting me I need to draw some
  385. 15:47boundaries between myself and my dad
  386. 15:50because he's really getting in my my
  387. 15:52emotional space and I need some healing
  388. 15:54and I need to have some self-care so
  389. 15:57what used to be arrogance can now be
  390. 16:00called self-care what used to be bad can
  391. 16:04now be called drawing a boundary what
  392. 16:06used to you know what used to be telling
  393. 16:09you know somebody's telling you a harsh
  394. 16:12truth meaning you're telling somebody a
  395. 16:15truth that maybe they don't want to hear
  396. 16:16but you need they need to hear it you
  397. 16:18say this is this is gaslighting I'm
  398. 16:21being gas lit so now what we do is we
  399. 16:24take
  400. 16:25psychology and we actually undermine
  401. 16:28some of the most most important
  402. 16:29experiences in our lives because the
  403. 16:31biggest the ultimate thing is I need to
  404. 16:34feel good anything that gets in the way
  405. 16:36of me feeling good is bad for my
  406. 16:40psychology so the the ultimate goal is
  407. 16:43to keep yourself happy anything gets in
  408. 16:46that way it's toxic it's narcissist this
  409. 16:49person is narcissistic they're not
  410. 16:51drawing their out boundary I'm being
  411. 16:53triggered you're being
  412. 16:55triggered what does the Quran say about
  413. 16:57that what what happened happens when you
  414. 16:58have an and by the way I'm not
  415. 17:00dismissing somebody having a traumatic
  416. 17:02experience I don't dismiss that there's
  417. 17:04such a thing as narcissism these things
  418. 17:07exist what I'm saying is we have turned
  419. 17:09them into weaponized terms we don't even
  420. 17:12understand them ourselves and it's
  421. 17:14actually starting to impact the way we
  422. 17:16think about our own
  423. 17:17religion our our our CH we're not even
  424. 17:20contemplating how many of these Concepts
  425. 17:23violate principles of the Quran direct
  426. 17:26principles of the Quran I'll just give
  427. 17:27you one example
  428. 17:31Allah said and this is what I recited at
  429. 17:33the beginning of this Allah
  430. 17:38said whatever Calamity happened to you
  431. 17:41whatever struck any any any kind of
  432. 17:43Calamity that struck somebody got in a
  433. 17:45car accident somebody got got diagnosed
  434. 17:48with a disease somebody's family member
  435. 17:50passed away somebody lost a job somebody
  436. 17:54got into a fight with their spouse and
  437. 17:55they're getting divorced somebody you
  438. 17:58know walked ran away from home somebody
  439. 18:01you know they they they don't want to
  440. 18:03deal with their family anymore so they
  441. 18:04blocked every number and now they're
  442. 18:06just gone forever you have a brother
  443. 18:08that doesn't talk to you doesn't won't
  444. 18:10pick up your calls won't respond to your
  445. 18:11text messages you have a son who hates
  446. 18:14your guts you have a you have a a mother
  447. 18:17who just walked away from the family it
  448. 18:19happens there's people experience
  449. 18:22different kinds of calamities in
  450. 18:25life the first thing Allah says no no
  451. 18:28nothing struck anyone ever except that
  452. 18:32Allah allowed that to happen number one
  453. 18:35but then the question is why did Allah
  454. 18:36allow something so terrible to happen
  455. 18:39why would that happen and Allah says
  456. 18:41sometimes in this Ayah there are many
  457. 18:43aat on this but this a Allah teaches us
  458. 18:45a powerful lesson he
  459. 18:50says whoever truly has faith in Allah
  460. 18:54Allah will guide that person's heart
  461. 18:57Allah will guide their heart heart now
  462. 18:59what is Allah saying Allah is saying my
  463. 19:01heart feels anxiety my heart feels anger
  464. 19:04my heart feels sadness my heart feels
  465. 19:06frustration my heart feels this person
  466. 19:08got away with something they should they
  467. 19:10deserve justice they got away with it my
  468. 19:12heart feels that it's it was unfair my
  469. 19:14heart feels unrest my heart feels all of
  470. 19:17these things but if I have IM in Allah
  471. 19:19Allah will guide my heart through these
  472. 19:21negative
  473. 19:22emotions actually some of those negative
  474. 19:25experiences are a test of my Iman and if
  475. 19:28I do have IM Allah will guide my
  476. 19:31heart in other words I'm supposed to go
  477. 19:33through some of these difficult
  478. 19:35experiences to truly experience guidance
  479. 19:39I have to go and this will be the way my
  480. 19:41Iman gets secured and Iman is the
  481. 19:43greatest asset a human being can have
  482. 19:46because on Judgment Day the only thing
  483. 19:48that
  484. 19:50matters the only people nothing will be
  485. 19:53of any benefit except people who come
  486. 19:54before Allah and they have a good heart
  487. 19:56and the only way to have a good heart is
  488. 19:58is to have IM in that heart and the only
  489. 20:00way to have IM in that heart is Allah
  490. 20:01will guide that heart and the only way
  491. 20:03that heart to be guided is to go through
  492. 20:05a tough experience and hold on to your
  493. 20:06faith anyway and not let that be that be
  494. 20:10shaken and you stay the course so this
  495. 20:14is this is a remarkable thing Allah has
  496. 20:17said in this Ayah Allah is telling us to
  497. 20:19face a traumatic experience to face it
  498. 20:23to deal with it but deal with it with
  499. 20:25faith and not let it change you and this
  500. 20:28is why the best people the best people
  501. 20:31that ever lived the prophets
  502. 20:34themselves every one of them are victims
  503. 20:36of trauma if you want to use
  504. 20:38psychological terms every one of them
  505. 20:40were surrounded by toxic
  506. 20:42people every one of them had their
  507. 20:45boundaries crossed every one of them
  508. 20:48every last one of them had to experience
  509. 20:52narcissism isn't it didn't ibraim Alam
  510. 20:57have a toxic father didn't YF alisam
  511. 21:00have narcissistic Brothers didn't they
  512. 21:04you know isn't he a victim of family
  513. 21:06abuse wasn't he being gas lit when he
  514. 21:09was being called a
  515. 21:10thief isn't this what was happening to
  516. 21:13them so they could take all of that
  517. 21:16listen to all of that and those
  518. 21:18experiences and then for the rest of
  519. 21:20their life they can say I know all these
  520. 21:22fathers they're toxic I know I need to
  521. 21:24draw a healthy boundary between me and
  522. 21:26them and even if ibraim Alam when he's
  523. 21:29being expelled from his own
  524. 21:31home you know he turns back to his
  525. 21:35father and he
  526. 21:36uses he turn my my beloved
  527. 21:40father he turns to his father and says
  528. 21:42Dad I still love you you may not be good
  529. 21:45to me but that doesn't mean I will no
  530. 21:47longer be good to you and I'll still
  531. 21:49pray for you to be
  532. 21:52forgiven I'll I'll I'll pray for you
  533. 21:55still I I you know cuz maybe will turn
  534. 21:58your heart I can't do anything about it
  535. 22:00I have to leave now that's okay but I
  536. 22:03still care about you he doesn't say you
  537. 22:06know what you are a narcissist you are a
  538. 22:09toxic person I'm glad now there's a
  539. 22:11distance between us I need to keep you
  540. 22:13away from my own personal
  541. 22:15healing this is not his attitude this is
  542. 22:18not his approach what we have done is we
  543. 22:21have created and the these judgments
  544. 22:24these these
  545. 22:25labels they are against the fundamental
  546. 22:27teach teachings of our Dean and I'll
  547. 22:29leave you one last one last especially
  548. 22:31within our
  549. 22:33families okay somebody you could have a
  550. 22:36argument between husband and wife
  551. 22:38happens okay don't raise your hand but
  552. 22:41if you have an argument husband and wife
  553. 22:43and one of you says you know you're so
  554. 22:45you're such an abuser you're such a
  555. 22:48gaslighter instead of what does the dean
  556. 22:50tell us to
  557. 22:55say Allah says that uh uh tell my
  558. 22:59servants say something that is better
  559. 23:01and more beautiful because Shan will try
  560. 23:04to cause friction between you chaos
  561. 23:07between you Discord between you if
  562. 23:09there's an argument happening and you
  563. 23:10hear something painful you could respond
  564. 23:13with something that will make things
  565. 23:15worse you can also respond with
  566. 23:18something that can change the direction
  567. 23:19of the conversation towards something
  568. 23:21better Allah is not telling you to walk
  569. 23:23away from the conversation Allah is
  570. 23:25telling you to deal with the
  571. 23:26conversation if the conversation is
  572. 23:28completely out of hand Allah is
  573. 23:32saying when when the ignorant address
  574. 23:35them they walk away peacefully they say
  575. 23:36peace they don't walk away stormed out
  576. 23:38they walk away
  577. 23:40peacefully but in this ay in I learned
  578. 23:43something I was fascinated by being a
  579. 23:44student of psychology I was fascinated
  580. 23:46by
  581. 23:51it those of you who believe some among
  582. 23:55your children and among your spouses
  583. 23:58there may be enemies for
  584. 24:00you this is in Medina the Surah was
  585. 24:04revealed in
  586. 24:05Medina wasam was living among the Jewish
  587. 24:08and Christian tribes and he was also
  588. 24:10among many among the Muslims were
  589. 24:12actually leading towards n they were
  590. 24:14leading towards hypocrisy and you don't
  591. 24:16know in your family who really has Iman
  592. 24:18who doesn't there was a mix and Allah is
  593. 24:21that now the prophet wasam says get
  594. 24:23ready for bad or get ready for and some
  595. 24:25family memb saying why are you going to
  596. 24:27get yourself killed stay home just tell
  597. 24:29them you got sick just just I'll just
  598. 24:32say you were you
  599. 24:34overslept and tell them later and
  600. 24:36they're trying to hold you back they're
  601. 24:37trying to you know CU they they don't
  602. 24:39want them to go why do you have to go
  603. 24:41every morning at fud can you just stay
  604. 24:44you know and they're having these
  605. 24:46conversations and Allah tells him that
  606. 24:49there may be among you so people that
  607. 24:52the family is so extreme that they might
  608. 24:54even be enemies for you that extreme
  609. 24:58I mean you don't use this a and go home
  610. 24:59and say now I know what you are to
  611. 25:05me it's not this is an extreme case
  612. 25:10these are extreme cases the wordu is not
  613. 25:12used lightly in the Quran okay but this
  614. 25:14is the extreme case fine an extreme case
  615. 25:17can exist an extreme case where your own
  616. 25:20spouse and your own children according
  617. 25:23to Allah or what an enemy what do you do
  618. 25:26in the extreme case
  619. 25:28well what you do from the pop psychology
  620. 25:31perspective the Instagram psychologist
  621. 25:33can tell you what you do in such extreme
  622. 25:35cases is you draw some boundaries and
  623. 25:37you walk away and you heal yourself and
  624. 25:40you you know declare them abusers and
  625. 25:42all all this
  626. 25:43stuff and what does the Quran
  627. 25:51say okay and if you can forgive if you
  628. 25:54can Overlook you can cover their
  629. 25:56mistakes okay at one point they became
  630. 25:59really aggressive but now they're really
  631. 26:01sorry about that you know don't bring it
  632. 26:04up
  633. 26:05again means to turn the page from sa
  634. 26:08Turn the Page you know what that means I
  635. 26:10remember what you did last year you
  636. 26:12remember I still remember those words do
  637. 26:14you remember what you
  638. 26:15said that's
  639. 26:17not I'm still traumatized about that let
  640. 26:20me repeat it again as if it happened
  641. 26:22right I didn't say it again no no but it
  642. 26:24still hurts me though I'm still
  643. 26:27traumatized
  644. 26:28therefore I need to do of that all the
  645. 26:30time I need to give you a about that all
  646. 26:32the time Allah says if you can just turn
  647. 26:35the page then Allah is forgiving too
  648. 26:38maybe things will reconcile even in the
  649. 26:39worst case there's room for
  650. 26:41reconciliation there's room to make
  651. 26:43things better but if the hearts are not
  652. 26:46if if you're too absorbed in yourself
  653. 26:48you're not going to look for a solution
  654. 26:50the only thing that you want to to serve
  655. 26:52is your own your wishes and so this is
  656. 26:55the this the last thing I will share
  657. 26:56with you the the direction that
  658. 26:58psychology is in going in now pop
  659. 27:00psychology reminds me of the Ayah of
  660. 27:11Ja did you see someone who takes their
  661. 27:14feeling their empty feeling and it turns
  662. 27:18that it they turn it into their
  663. 27:20God their God has become their
  664. 27:23feeling and Allah allows this person to
  665. 27:26be misguided
  666. 27:28even though they have knowledge they can
  667. 27:30know they can be a PhD they can be a
  668. 27:33doctor they can be a professional but
  669. 27:34they are being led by their emotions and
  670. 27:38they give themselves a new diagnosis and
  671. 27:40give themel other people a diagnosis
  672. 27:41depending on how they make them feel
  673. 27:43today you're a narcissist tomorrow
  674. 27:45you're an abuser the next day you're a
  675. 27:46toxic person the next day you're this
  676. 27:48the next day you're depressed the next
  677. 27:49day you're you know uh you have
  678. 27:51attachment
  679. 27:53issues you're just throw out these
  680. 27:55diagnosis label people
  681. 28:02you know Allah says and this kind of a
  682. 28:05person Allah will put a hear a ceiling
  683. 28:08on their hearing you know what that
  684. 28:09means that means doesn't matter if you
  685. 28:11try to reason with them you cannot
  686. 28:12reason with people who live by
  687. 28:15emotions many of you have experienced
  688. 28:17this when people are living by their
  689. 28:18emotions if you're trying to be logical
  690. 28:20it's like talking to a
  691. 28:22wall but but I feel but I feel but I
  692. 28:25feel the feeling is that's the god
  693. 28:32you know then and Allah places a cover
  694. 28:35over their
  695. 28:36hearts who's going to guide them after
  696. 28:39Allah that Ayah that last part of that
  697. 28:42Ayah who will guide them after Allah you
  698. 28:43know what that means they replaced Allah
  699. 28:46with their own
  700. 28:48feelings that's why there's no more
  701. 28:50guidance for them because their is
  702. 28:53actually Allah but their became their
  703. 28:55haah so Allah says
  704. 28:58who's going to guide them after Allah
  705. 29:00after they remove Allah from their
  706. 29:01hearts what guidance can they have on
  707. 29:04the flip side
  708. 29:06contemplate when a person experiences
  709. 29:09difficulty and Trauma and actual
  710. 29:11difficulty in their life whoever turns
  711. 29:13back to Allah in
  712. 29:15faith Allah will guide that person's
  713. 29:19heart Allah knows everything there's
  714. 29:22nothing Allah doesn't know may Allah
  715. 29:24guide our hearts and not allow us to
  716. 29:27become you know uh uh worshippers of our
  717. 29:30own feelings and actually remain
  718. 29:32worshippers of Allah in the depths of
  719. 29:34our hearts and may Allah not make us of
  720. 29:36those who easily pass judgment on others
  721. 29:39unjustifiably you know uh I know this
  722. 29:42theba is already over but one last thing
  723. 29:44I will share with you we cannot judge
  724. 29:46another person's heart in Islam I cannot
  725. 29:49point at you and say you're aaf you have
  726. 29:51neak in your heart I can't do it but
  727. 29:53there's no way for me to know even Allah
  728. 29:56did not let m know if has in his heart
  729. 29:59or
  730. 30:03not go talk to him
  731. 30:06nicely both of you go talk to him nicely
  732. 30:08maybe he'll get reminder maybe there's
  733. 30:10some part of his heart that can benefit
  734. 30:11from a reminder you don't know Ya Allah
  735. 30:14it's he kills
  736. 30:15babies come come on the guy's heart is
  737. 30:18made of some kind of special stone that
  738. 30:20will never crack no no no you don't know
  739. 30:23you don't get to know this is Allah
  740. 30:26telling musam
  741. 30:28so I cannot judge another person's heart
  742. 30:30but in this new psychology I can easily
  743. 30:33judge another person's heart the moment
  744. 30:34I call somebody a narcissist I'm judging
  745. 30:37them for their arrogance the moment I
  746. 30:39call somebody one of one of these terms
  747. 30:42I'm I'm not actually judging their
  748. 30:44actions I'm judging the state of their
  749. 30:46hearts be careful this is not something
  750. 30:48our Dean allows but we've made this a
  751. 30:50normal practice because we're enamored
  752. 30:52by these terms now if you're going to
  753. 30:54understand these terms if you're not a
  754. 30:56student of the subject don't do it don't
  755. 30:58misdiagnose yourself and misdiagnose
  756. 31:01others it's only creating a problem in
  757. 31:03our society and in our
  758. 31:10families

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