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The Psychology Behind Exceptional Homes — Transcript

by The Masculine Home · 3,334 words · 510 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00We've all been in attractive homes.
0:02You're walking inside and looking
0:03around. Everything is pleasant. The
0:05furniture is good. The colors are
0:07working together. And items seem to be
0:09placed where they belong. And yet, 20
0:12minutes after leaving, you have a hard
0:13time remembering much about the place at
0:16all. Seldomly, but I suppose this is why
0:18they become memorable, you encounter a
0:20home that stays with you. Think of
0:22somewhere you've remembered for years.
0:24It could have been a hotel or a
0:25restaurant, someone's library or a
0:28private club that you were invited into
0:29once. It doesn't have to be the most
0:31impressive interior you've ever seen.
0:33You remember it because of what it felt
0:35like to be there. The way the place
0:38changed as the sun's rays began to fall
0:40and the room moved into an evening
0:42setting. Dinner became an occasion, an
0:44event. See, at a certain point, a room
0:47stops being something you merely look
0:49at. It becomes an enveloping experience.
0:52And when that experience is distinctive
0:54enough, you remember it. My name is
0:56Chudrey and today we're exploring the
0:58question, why do certain rooms linger in
1:00our memory? And what can we learn from
1:02them when designing our own homes? If
1:04you're a returning subscriber, hit the
1:06thumbs up. If you're new here, hopefully
1:07by the end of this video, you'll be a
1:09subscriber. Remember that if you would
1:11like our help in designing your room,
1:14you can have that help by clicking the
1:16link in the description below. When we
1:19begin designing a room, one of the first
1:21questions we tend to ask is, "What style
1:23do I want?" So, you start sorting
1:25through the familiar categories,
1:27traditional, modern, rustic, English,
1:29mid-century, and eventually find
1:31something that resembles what you had in
1:33mind, that's useful, but style can only
1:36tell you so much. If you tell me, I want
1:38a gentleman's study, I have a general
1:40idea of what that room is going to look
1:42like. If you took it further though and
1:44you told me, "I want this room to feel
1:46private, collected, serious, and
1:49slightly removed from the rest of the
1:50house," that tells me considerably more.
1:53Now, I understand what the room is
1:55supposed to do to you. And that's
1:58important because the emotional goal of
1:59a room isn't always comfort. A cathedral
2:01can make you feel small, while a grand
2:03hotel lobby can suddenly make you aware
2:06of the occasion and even of yourself.
2:08What do I mean by that? When you enter
2:10an impressive hotel lobby, you might
2:12straighten your posture, lower your
2:14voice, and become more conscious of how
2:16you're dressed. The scale and formality
2:18of the surroundings make the moment feel
2:20significant, and you become more aware
2:22of yourself participating in that
2:25moment. This happens at other times,
2:27too. When you walk into an immersive
2:28restaurant, and it's like you've stepped
2:30into a secret society, there are
2:32libraries where you carry yourself in a
2:34more collected way, and no one has
2:36demanded that of you. The environment is
2:38directing your behavior. So when you're
2:40thinking about a room, you want to know
2:42what should it feel like to spend time
2:45here. Once you can answer that, a lot of
2:47design decisions become easier to judge.
2:49An intimate room flooded from corner to
2:51corner with overhead light is probably
2:53working against itself. The same is true
2:55of a study that's supposed to feel
2:57meaningful but has empty walls and
2:58sparse furniture. And if you have a
3:00hidden desire for your dining room to
3:02take on a little theater in the evening,
3:04let it. It doesn't need to maintain the
3:06same atmosphere as the kitchen beside
3:08it. Style gives you a general language.
3:11It matters equally as much how you
3:13decide to use that language. There's
3:15been a strong tendency in interiors to
3:17associate calm with simplicity. If a
3:20room feels uncomfortable, the usual
3:22advice is to remove something, to clear
3:24the surfaces, reduce the number of
3:26colors, and give everything more visual
3:28breathing room. Sometimes that's exactly
3:30what the space needs. Then that thought
3:33is crushed when you walk into a great
3:35English library. There could be hundreds
3:37of books in front of you, paintings
3:39hanging between the shelves, a patterned
3:41rug on the floor, and heavy curtains at
3:43the window. Lamps are scattered
3:45throughout the room. Antiques sit beside
3:47furniture that look as though they've
3:49been there for 50 years. And captivating
3:51woodwork appears everywhere. By any
3:54objective measure, there's a lot going
3:56on, but you feel right at home. Any form
3:58of stress is non-existent. Then you walk
4:01into an apartment containing a fraction
4:03of those things and feel exhausted by
4:04it. So complexity itself can't be the
4:08entire problem. What often matters more
4:10is hierarchy. In a well-composed room,
4:12there's an order to the experience. If
4:14the order is present, wonderful. If it's
4:17not, you have a competition on your
4:19hands. The television might be pulling
4:21you in one direction while the bold rug
4:23pulls you somewhere else. Then you
4:24become aware of the oversized artwork,
4:26the multicolored crystal chandelier, the
4:29accent wall, the sectional, and
4:31everything sitting on the tables. Can
4:32you imagine attending a symphony show
4:34where a similar power struggle would
4:36exist? You manage your way through the
4:38aisles of knees and the excuse me.
4:40Getting to your seat was a bit frantic,
4:42but you've squeezed your way in.
4:44Finally, the show is about to start. The
4:46tension is leaving your body. It's
4:48relaxing. You're about to enjoy a
4:50performance of orchestrated hierarchy
4:52and balance. You look at the stage and
4:54an immediate sense of unease, anxiety,
4:57and bewilderment sweeps over you. The
4:59orchestra has positioned themselves as
5:02if they are fighters stepping into the
5:04ring with one another. The trombone
5:05player is 2 feet from the trumpet
5:07player, and they've decided to point
5:09directly at one another. Their plan is
5:11to scream at each other all night. The
5:13tuba player has decided to stand on top
5:15of the piano and face the back of the
5:17stage. and the conductor has decided to
5:20place himself in the middle of the
5:21percussion instruments tonight. How do
5:23you think that performance is going to
5:25go? My guess is not enjoyably. You have
5:28all the right pieces, but no sense of
5:30ranking or order. Give this a try. Stand
5:33where you normally experience the room
5:35and forget what you think the focal
5:36point is. Pay attention to what your eye
5:38does. Where does it go first and where
5:40does it naturally travel from there? If
5:43six things immediately pull you in six
5:45different directions, you need order. A
5:48room can be incredibly rich with
5:49different elements and still make you
5:51feel at ease when your eye understands
5:53how to move through it. This leads to
5:55another reason certain rooms become
5:57memorable. Sometimes we remember an
5:59object, at least for a short period.
6:01Other times we remember the spirit of
6:03the environment that was created around
6:05that object. If you had an ordinary gray
6:08living room with an extraordinary
6:10$20,000 painting hanging above the sofa,
6:12someone could visit and might remember
6:15the painting. Now, take the same piece
6:17and put it above a fireplace. Cast a
6:19light across it in the evening and
6:21surround it with books. Place two
6:23leather chairs over a heavy wool rug
6:25nearby with a lamp throwing warm light
6:27on a table between them. The painting
6:29hasn't changed. Its price certainly
6:31hasn't changed, but now it belongs to
6:34something. 6 months later when someone
6:36talks about being in your house, there's
6:37a good chance that he or she doesn't say
6:39they had an incredible painting. More
6:42than likely, it would be along the lines
6:43of, "I remember that library." That's a
6:46much more noteworthy comment because now
6:48the room itself has become the memorable
6:50thing. Homeowners can spend months
6:52searching for that statement piece, the
6:54chair, the sculpture or light fixture
6:56that's somehow going to make the room a
6:58showstopper. But it's possible we could
7:01better serve ourselves by occasionally
7:02asking, "What setting is this object
7:05going to live within?" We rarely
7:07experience an item completely on its
7:09own. Everything around it affects the
7:11way that we perceive it. A basic writing
7:13desk placed on an empty wall with a
7:15generic office chair and nothing else
7:17around it, nothing to write home about.
7:19Now, take that same desk and place it
7:21beneath a thick framed painting. Add a
7:23sturdy chair, a table lamp with an
7:25interesting silhouette. Shining angled
7:27warmth across the desktop and a tall
7:29cabinet nearby holding books and a few
7:32collected objects. Same desk, but placed
7:34in an area where its best foot can be
7:37put forward. Of course, if everything is
7:39meant to become memorable, eventually
7:41nothing is. If every room in your house
7:43is dramatic, drama becomes normal. Have
7:46you ever noticed the dog that doesn't
7:47listen to its owner who screams
7:49frantically? It's because the dog has
7:51become used to an owner who communicates
7:54anxiously most of the time. If the owner
7:57primarily spoke in a calm, assertive
7:59voice, the moment that voice raised
8:01substantially or became even more stern
8:04would signal the dog that something
8:06needs to be corrected. The dog only
8:08responds because communication is
8:10generally calm. That noiseancelling
8:13threshold also exists in a home. You see
8:15it when nearly every decision has been
8:17made with the intention of creating
8:19noise. Maybe there's a rich material on
8:21the walls, unusual furniture, sculptural
8:24lighting, and a heavily patterned rug.
8:26Then, bold artwork, and dramatic color
8:28are introduced because each choice,
8:30considered by itself, seems completely
8:32defensible. Yet, the room never settles
8:34down. There's no relief. This is where
8:36restraint starts to earn its place. A
8:38quiet hallway can give the study at the
8:40end a greater presence. A relatively
8:43simple sofa can allow an extraordinary
8:45rug to carry more of the room. Put a
8:47painting on a controlled wall,
8:49illuminate it properly, and suddenly it
8:51has authority. You don't have to make
8:53everything interesting. In fact, you
8:55shouldn't. Attention is limited. Part of
8:57good design is deciding where it
8:59deserves to go. We naturally want the
9:02rooms throughout our homes to belong
9:04together. They should. The wrong turn
9:06happens when we interpret that to mean
9:07that all of them should produce roughly
9:09the same feeling. That's not necessary
9:12and probably not desirable. You might
9:14have a kitchen that feels energetic and
9:16social, then walk into the bedroom and
9:18feel everything calm down. The office
9:20can sharpen your attention while a
9:22library slows that alertness. And later
9:25that evening, the dining room can take
9:26on a character that none of those other
9:28spaces share. The house can still feel
9:31cohesive. That cohesion might come from
9:33the same wood appearing in several rooms
9:35or an architectural detail that
9:37continues throughout the house. Colors
9:39can relate without being identical, and
9:41the furniture can feel as though it
9:43comes from the same general world. There
9:46are enough threads running through the
9:48house that you understand these spaces
9:50belong together. Think about chapters in
9:52the same book. The story continues, but
9:54the mood can change. A home becomes much
9:57more compelling when you can go
9:58somewhere psychologically different
10:00without physically leaving it. Whenever
10:03we start talking about making a home
10:05memorable, there's an obvious temptation
10:07to make everything unusual, that's
10:10usually when the crazy wallpaper
10:11appears, followed by a themed pillow and
10:13a light fixture twice the size it needs
10:16to be because somebody has decided the
10:18room must have a wow factor. You'll
10:22remember it just like you would remember
10:23breaking your leg. I'm just not sure
10:25that's the kind of memory we're after.
10:27It's much nicer when a room gives you
10:29something you weren't expecting, and
10:30that doesn't require anything bizarre.
10:32You could walk into a humble study and
10:34find a fireplace with much more scale
10:37and presence than you expected, or a
10:39room that seems pretty straightforward
10:41during the day, but then becomes
10:42considerably warmer and more intimate
10:44once the lamps are on at night. It could
10:46even be something about how the room is
10:48used. Great interiors gradually reveal
10:51more of their personalities and
10:52attributes as you spend time with them.
10:54You understand them one way when you
10:56arrive, then begin noticing qualities
10:58that weren't immediately apparent. One
11:00of the fascinating things a home can do
11:02is change the significance of something
11:05completely ordinary. Take dinner for
11:07instance. You can sit on a stool at the
11:09kitchen island and eat in 10 minutes
11:10without thinking about the room once. Or
11:13later that evening, you can sit down in
11:15a proper chair in the dining room where
11:17the table has been prepared. The
11:19overhead lighting is low and a couple of
11:21sconces are on. Maybe there's music
11:23somewhere in the background. For the
11:25next hour, the surroundings remove you
11:27slightly from the rest of your day.
11:29You're still eating dinner, but the
11:30emotion of the activity is different.
11:33Reading is another similar occasion.
11:35Technically, you need a chair and enough
11:37light to see the page. But put that
11:38chair in a quieter part of the house
11:40with a proper lamp beside it. Give
11:42yourself a small table, somewhere to put
11:44your feet, and keep a few books within
11:46reach. After a while, you start looking
11:48forward to reading there. Having a drink
11:50can change when there's a place intended
11:52for it. Instead of standing at your bar,
11:54you pour it and sit down. A solid wood
11:56table is waiting for you with tailored
11:58coasters. There's a crackling fireplace
12:00a few feet away. Before long, a small
12:03ritual begins to form around something
12:05that you are already doing. That's a
12:07quality exceptional homes understand
12:09very well, giving everyday parts of life
12:12a little more significance, some
12:14encouragement to live in and enjoy the
12:16moment. There are also parts of a great
12:19interior that photographs don't easily
12:21communicate. Take two doors, one hollow
12:23core and the other solid. In a
12:25photograph, the difference can be almost
12:27meaningless. Then you put your hand on
12:29one, open it, close it, listen. Now you
12:32understand. Hardware can look
12:34considerable online and feel strangely
12:36cheap the moment it's in your hand. A
12:39chair can photograph wonderfully and
12:40disappoint you the second you sit down.
12:42Heavy wool communicates something
12:44through touch that a photograph of wool
12:46never will. This doesn't stop at
12:48individual items. An entire room has a
12:51physical quality to it. Some rooms sound
12:53harsh. You hear the footsteps bouncing
12:55around, voices carry too far, and
12:58everything feels slightly void. Bring in
13:00rugs, curtains, upholstery, and books,
13:02and the acoustics change. People sound
13:05different in the room, and the space
13:06becomes more pleasant. This is one of
13:08the limitations of designing a home
13:10primarily through photographs. We tend
13:12to think about interiors visually
13:14because that's how we consume most of
13:16them. Now, however, your body has many
13:18different senses and collects
13:20information from all of them. You'll
13:22notice how a fabric feels against your
13:23arm, whether a material is cold or warm
13:26as you sit down, the sound something
13:28makes when it closes. The eye gives you
13:30part of the story. Living with something
13:33tells you the rest. If you're
13:34considering the purchase of something
13:36important for your home, try using it
13:38first. Open the drawer, sit in the
13:40chair, handle the hardware, and listen
13:42when the cabinet door closes. Some of
13:45the qualities that distinguish an
13:46exceptional home will never show up in a
13:48photograph. A large room can be
13:51impressive, but it can also leave you
13:53feeling oddly exposed. A much smaller
13:56space often has the opposite effect
13:57because everything has a closer
13:59relationship to your body. The walls,
14:02furniture, and lighting all move closer
14:04to you, creating a sense of enclosure
14:06that square footage alone can't explain.
14:09We don't experience scale with a tape
14:11measure. We experience it relative to
14:13ourselves. You may see a child's 90 ft
14:16bedroom as rather small, but to them it
14:18might as well be an arena. The point is
14:20that intimacy is not always influenced
14:22by walls alone. Take one end of a living
14:25room. A rug can begin establishing a
14:27smaller territory while two chairs turn
14:29slightly toward one another and away
14:31from the main circulation path. Drapery
14:34can be added to the windows to soften
14:36the portion of the room. And instead of
14:38relying on ceiling lights 10 ft above
14:40you, a lamp brings the light down beside
14:42the chairs. And you let the perimeter
14:44fall a little darker. Now you have one
14:47portion of a very generous room that
14:50feels sheltered from everything around
14:51it. You've created a smaller environment
14:53within the larger one without
14:55constructing anything. There's a version
14:57of home that many pay little attention
14:59to, the one that exists after sunset.
15:02Most interiors are designed,
15:04photographed, and judged during the day.
15:06Yet, a tremendous amount of life happens
15:08at home later. Think about the time of
15:10day you come home from work, have
15:12dinner, read, or watch TV, the time of
15:14day you generally light the fireplace,
15:16or when friends come over. Usually, this
15:19is when daylight is disappearing. It's
15:21also when the architecture starts
15:23changing. Those windows that gave you
15:25views all afternoon become dark surfaces
15:28and the perimeter begins to recede. Now,
15:31artificial light decides what matters. A
15:33lamp can bring your attention toward a
15:35chair, while a picture light pulls a
15:37painting out of the darkness. Sconces
15:39give depth to a wall that looked
15:41relatively plain 2 hours earlier. And
15:43over the dining table, a pendant can
15:45create a smaller world of its own. In
15:48some ways, your home has two designs.
15:50The one you experienced during the day
15:52and the one you live in at night. You
15:54can test this this evening. Turn off the
15:56overhead lights and use the lamps,
15:58sconces, picture lights, and whatever
16:00secondary lighting you have. Then stay
16:03in the room for a while and see what
16:04happens. Do certain parts of the room
16:06come forward while others disappear?
16:08Does the architecture gain some depth?
16:11Does the entire space become more
16:12profound? Or is everything just harder
16:15to see? Because if the room collapses
16:18the moment the recessed lights go off,
16:20you've probably spent a lot of time
16:21designing a version of your home that
16:23disappears around sunset. Everything
16:26we've spoken of runs in full circle and
16:29eventually returns to one thing, memory.
16:31A home can be totally attractive and
16:33give the mind very little to hold on to.
16:36On the other hand, someone could spend a
16:38half hour in a room and realize nobody
16:40has reached for their phone. Whatever it
16:42may be, something encouraged that
16:44behavioral shift. Those are the kinds of
16:46details people remember because they
16:48affected the experience of being there,
16:51not only what they saw. Having 12
16:53statement pieces and every room trying
16:55to attain the privilege of being the one
16:57everyone talks about is not needed. One
17:00powerful experience can be enough. So
17:02look around your own home. What would a
17:04visitor remember the following day? More
17:06specifically, would they only remember
17:08something they saw or would they
17:10remember how that something influenced
17:13the experience? A person can certainly
17:15remember an expensive painting, but
17:17think about what happens when the memory
17:19of that painting becomes inseparable
17:21from the thought of sitting beside the
17:23fireplace underneath it, sipping on a
17:25cup of freshly brewed coffee, and having
17:27great conversation. Years later, the
17:30painting itself might be a very small
17:32portion of that memory. At the same
17:34time, it's understood that painting
17:36encouraged the gathering where
17:38everything else took place. That's what
17:40an exceptional environment can do. It
17:43both encourages and attaches itself to
17:46the experience held within it. If you
17:48like the video, hit the thumbs up. If
17:50you feel like sticking around a while,
17:51feel free to subscribe. See you in the
17:53next one.
17:56[music]
18:02[music]

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