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The Person You Built To Survive — Transcript

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0:00Memory is not a reliable narrator when
0:04it comes to your own failures.
0:06I've looked for it the moment it
0:08started.
0:10The exact point where I decided that
0:12feeling things was a liability.
0:15That the version of me who didn't need
0:17anyone was the version worth keeping.
0:21And I can't find it.
0:23And it's not even because it doesn't
0:24exist though.
0:26But because the filter was already
0:28running by the time I thought to look.
0:31The construction happened inside the
0:33blind spot.
0:36That's the thing about the stories we
0:37tell about ourselves is that
0:39the editing is invisible.
0:41And you only notice the cut when
0:44something forces the footage back in
0:46front of you.
0:48And by that point, you've already been
0:50living inside someone else's edit for
0:52years.
0:54Someone else being you.
0:56An earlier, more frightened version of
0:59you.
1:00Who made the decision in the dark
1:03and then forgot he made it.
1:06That's how coping mechanisms become
1:07personalities.
1:10That's exactly how you can spend years
1:12believing you're seeing reality clearly
1:15when
1:16what you're actually seeing is a version
1:18of reality organized around protecting a
1:20wound.
1:22I've been playing a lot of Red
1:24Redemption 2 recently.
1:26So, let me use Arthur Morgan as an
1:29analogy for all of this.
1:31Arthur Morgan doesn't know when he
1:33stopped trusting people either.
1:36You play him across the whole game.
1:39And the distance is just there.
1:41Baked into every interaction.
1:44So, consistent that
1:47you stop noticing the same way you stop
1:49noticing your own.
1:51He follows Dutch off a cliff while
1:54keeping him at arms length.
1:57He documents landscapes carefully in his
2:00journal and he never once writes down
2:03what any of it cost him.
2:06The filter doesn't announce itself.
2:09It just becomes the texture of how a
2:11person moves through the world.
2:15Aldous Huxley wrote that the human minds
2:19is equipped with something he called the
2:21reducing valve.
2:24The idea
2:26uh borrowed partially from William James
2:28is that
2:29consciousness is capable of receiving
2:32vastly more than it normally processes.
2:36More raw experience uh than you could
2:39ever function inside it without going
2:41completely batshit insane.
2:43So, the brain narrows the
2:47aperture.
2:48It filters.
2:51It turns an impossible flood of
2:52information into a
2:55manageable stream you can actually live
2:58inside.
3:00That's the neutral version.
3:02The one that keeps you from dissolving
3:04into every sensation every second of the
3:06day.
3:08But, Huxley's deeper argument is that
3:11the valve doesn't just filter
3:13perception.
3:15It filters the self.
3:18I mean, you can train it. You can train
3:20it. You can run the aperture down so far
3:24that entire categories of experience
3:27stop getting through.
3:29And the training is so gradual, so
3:32indistinguishable from just getting
3:34older and smarter about how the world
3:35works
3:36that
3:37by the time you notice the filter is in
3:39place
3:41you've already been living inside it for
3:42years.
3:44And you've started calling it character.
3:48That distinction
3:50between what the brain does
3:51automatically and what a person does
3:53deliberately
3:55is where this gets personal.
4:02I already said this multiple times and I
4:04will keep saying it.
4:06Emotional shutdown looks like strength.
4:10I mean, from the outside they wear the
4:12same clothes and sometimes from the
4:15inside they feel identical, too.
4:18We built an entire mythology around the
4:20person who's been hurt enough that
4:22nothing reaches him anymore.
4:24And we present that person as as the
4:27destination,
4:28as what you're supposed to become if you
4:30survive enough.
4:32It's [ __ ] That's complete [ __ ]
4:35And I say that as someone who believed
4:37it completely
4:39to the point it almost cost me my own
4:41life.
4:43Understand that the self-help industry
4:46is fundamentally in the business of
4:49selling you a ladder out of the hole
4:51rather than a torch to see what's
4:53actually in it.
4:55And the culture around males' emotional
4:59suppression is even worse.
5:01They don't even sell you the ladder.
5:03They just tell you the hole is where
5:05you're supposed to live and call it
5:06discipline.
5:08Look,
5:10I loved deeply. Believe me, I loved
5:12deeply.
5:14And I got my heart broken.
5:16I loved deeply and that love got used
5:19against me. Not once, not twice.
5:24This happened enough times that the
5:26version of me who needed people started
5:28looking like a [ __ ] liability.
5:32So,
5:33in my point of view, emotions were a
5:35weak point. Attachment was a
5:38vulnerability someone would eventually
5:40exploit.
5:41So, I closed the valve down.
5:44I tightened the aperture.
5:47I
5:49performing a version of myself who
5:50didn't require anything from anyone.
5:53And I performed it
5:55consistently enough that the performance
5:58stopped feeling like a performance and
6:00started feeling like a face.
6:03>> [snorts]
6:03>> Ronald Laing was a Scottish psychiatrist
6:07who spent a lot of time studying exactly
6:11this kind of eternal splitting.
6:14He called it the false self system.
6:18His argument was that when the real self
6:20feels too exposed, too vulnerable to
6:23survive contact with the world as it
6:25actually is,
6:26a person constructs an alternative self
6:29to interface with reality on their
6:31behalf.
6:33The false
6:35The false self handles everything. It
6:37goes to work, maintains relationships,
6:40performs competence and indifference in
6:42whatever combination the situation
6:43requires.
6:45And the real self retreats somewhere
6:47further behind the performance,
6:50watching,
6:52safe, untouchable, but slowly starving.
6:56What Laing understood that most
6:59psychology misses is that
7:01the false self isn't a lie, exactly.
7:04It's a survival mechanism that outlived
7:07the emergency that produced it.
7:10It made complete sense at the time.
7:13The problem is that
7:15it doesn't know when to stop.
7:18It keeps running the same protection
7:19protocol long after the original threat
7:22has passed.
7:24Because the whole point of this the
7:26false self is that it operates you.
7:30It doesn't really consult you.
7:32That's Huxley's reducing valve as a
7:37personal project.
7:39I I this was my brain filtering reality
7:42to prevent overload.
7:43But what I was actually doing was
7:45turning into a person deliberately
7:47narrowing what he's willing to feel in
7:50order to avoid a specific kind of pain.
7:53And the logic is convincing.
7:56I mean, if the signal can't get in, then
7:59it can't hurt you.
8:01Except that's not what it happens.
8:03That's never what happens.
8:06I performed not giving a [ __ ] for so
8:08long that I started attracting exactly
8:10the kind of situations I'd built the
8:13filter to avoid.
8:15Different faces, different places, same
8:18rooms and same dynamics.
8:20And the same inevitable outcomes.
8:24I kept arriving at the same wreckage
8:26genuinely confused about how I kept
8:28ending up here
8:30when when I'd been so [ __ ] careful.
8:33I spent years trying to avoid exactly
8:35this.
8:37So why the [ __ ] did I keep ending up
8:39here?
8:41That confusion,
8:43that genuine bafflement at my own
8:46recurring disasters,
8:48is the clearest sign I can point to that
8:51the filter was running the show rather
8:53than me.
8:55I wasn't choosing. I was being selected
8:58for.
9:06There's a mechanic in Red Dead
9:08Redemption 2, which is Arthur's journal.
9:12It updates automatically
9:14after missions, after discoveries, after
9:17moments the game decides were important
9:19enough to remember,
9:21after Arthur studies animals.
9:25Arthur writes whether you think about it
9:27or not.
9:28And what interests me isn't just what
9:30gets recorded. It's what the recording
9:33reveals about the person doing the
9:34recording.
9:36For example, a legendary animal gets two
9:39full pages.
9:41An entire human encounter gets
9:43a few lines.
9:45The hierarchy of attention is right
9:47there on the page, and that hierarchy
9:50isn't neutral.
9:52It's a portrait of a filter operating in
9:55real time,
9:56deciding what matters and what doesn't,
9:59mostly without being asked.
10:02Before I go further into what the
10:04journal does mechanically, I want to
10:06stay with the act of journaling itself
10:08for a moment because
10:10I think most people misunderstand what
10:12it actually does to a human being.
10:15Journaling is a very powerful thing to
10:17do, and for some people, especially me,
10:21it's also a very difficult thing to do.
10:25Because of what happens inside a person
10:27when they sit down and try to put
10:29language to something they've been
10:30carrying without words.
10:33When something painful happens and you
10:35don't write it, don't speak about it, it
10:38doesn't disappear.
10:41It stays It stays as um
10:43ambient pressure.
10:45A weight you carry without knowing
10:47exactly what you're carrying, still
10:49operating without language.
10:52And the longer it goes unnamed, the more
10:55it starts to feel like just a texture of
10:57being you,
10:58rather than something specific that
11:00happened that you never fully processed.
11:03The moment you put language to it,
11:05something changes.
11:07Anyone who's tried to write honestly
11:09about something that genuinely hurt them
11:11knows the frustration of watching words
11:13land smaller than the thing they're
11:15reaching for. But the act of reaching
11:18forces the experience to take a shape it
11:20didn't have before.
11:22James Pennebaker,
11:25uh this guy he he he was a psychologist
11:28uh that he used to study expressive
11:30writing. He found out that people who
11:32wrote about difficult experiences showed
11:35measurably lower cortisol levels and
11:38stronger immune system.
11:40The body was literally less burdened
11:43when the mind had been forced to
11:44articulate what it was holding.
11:48And here's what uh Pennebaker also
11:49found.
11:51People who shifted perspective over
11:53time,
11:54who gradually reframed the account
11:57rather than just repeating it, showed
12:00the most benefits.
12:02The ones who wrote the same story the
12:04same way every time showed almost none.
12:08Which means you can fill notebooks. You
12:11can write thousands of words across
12:13years and never actually move an inch.
12:17If the filter doesn't change, the story
12:20doesn't change either.
12:22You may feel like you're examining the
12:24wound, but truth is you're just tracing
12:27the outline of it over and over again.
12:30Calling repetition healing.
12:34And here's something else about
12:35journaling that it's extremely
12:37important.
12:39Which is what happens when you go back
12:41and read what you wrote years ago.
12:44Because the person reading the entry is
12:47never quite the same person who wrote
12:49it.
12:51And sometimes the gap between them is
12:53the most honest thing the journal ever
12:56produces.
12:58You read something you wrote years ago
13:00and you can see the filter that was
13:02running then from the outside. The story
13:04you were telling yourself so
13:05consistently you'd stop noticing it was
13:08a story.
13:10You couldn't see it from the inside at
13:12that time.
13:13Now you can.
13:15The journal becomes an archaeological
13:18record of who the filter was quietly
13:22making you into.
13:23While you were busy thinking you were
13:25just writing down what happened.
13:28That's where Arthur comes back in.
13:32His honor level changes the way
13:36journal entries are delivered.
13:38The same words are on the page the the
13:41the the same words stay exactly the
13:43same, but the voice reading them out
13:46loud in cutscenes shifts depending on
13:49who you've been playing him
13:51as.
13:52So, it's basically same entry, same
13:55page, different Arthur Morgan.
13:59And suddenly, the exact same words feel
14:02colder or warmer depending on where his
14:05honor sits.
14:07The event didn't change.
14:10The interpretation layer running on top
14:12of it did.
14:15Which means
14:16the journal isn't document of what
14:18happened. It's a document of what the
14:20current version of Arthur was capable of
14:22receiving about what happened.
14:25And the current version of Arthur was
14:27built by every choice made before he sat
14:30down to write.
14:32The filter decides what you're capable
14:34of seeing in what happened, what
14:36language you can reach for when you try
14:38to describe it.
14:39And therefore, what story you're capable
14:41of telling about your own life.
14:44Built slowly, choice by choice, year by
14:47year, mostly in the god damn dark long
14:50before you ever sat down to tell
14:52yourself the story.
14:54The journal is honest.
14:56The page is honest.
14:58But the person reading it back to
15:00themselves isn't always.
15:03And neither are we.
15:09The cruelest thing about a filter built
15:12to prevent pain is that
15:14it doesn't filter randomly.
15:17It filters according to the story it's
15:19trying to protect.
15:21Which means if the story is
15:23people will use what you give them
15:25against you,
15:26the filter starts selecting for evidence
15:29that confirms exactly that.
15:32You stop noticing the moments that don't
15:35fit.
15:36You don't register the people who don't
15:38behave that way because they don't
15:40activate the pattern. They slide past
15:43unregistered while every confirming
15:45instance gets cataloged with perfect
15:47clarity.
15:49The threat model keeps being validated.
15:52You take that as evidence you were right
15:55to build the filter in the first place.
15:57The selection gets narrower.
15:59The validation arrives faster until
16:02you're living inside what feels like
16:04empirical proof of something that was
16:05always just a story you decided to
16:08believe when you were hurt and didn't
16:10yet know what else to do.
16:13I know that might sound dramatic, but I
16:15watched it happen in my own life.
16:18I watched myself repeat the same pattern
16:20with enough variation in the surface
16:22details that it kept feeling like
16:24different situations.
16:25And then I arrive at the same point in
16:27each one and feel genuinely surprised.
16:31The specific surprise of a man who has
16:34walked into the same [ __ ] wall 17
16:36times and keeps being astonished by the
16:38wall.
16:39At some point you have to ask yourself
16:41seriously,
16:42is this bad luck
16:44or is something selecting?
16:47Because at the level where the filter
16:49operates, avoidance and obsession are
16:52the same [ __ ] motion pointed in
16:55opposite directions.
16:58Arthur's honor system is the closest
17:00thing in gaming I found to this made
17:04visible.
17:06It doesn't call him good or evil.
17:09It tracks the
17:10uh cumulative weight of choices made
17:13under pressure and shows you the shape
17:15of what's being building.
17:18High honor means the pattern has been
17:20moving in one direction.
17:22Low honor means the filter has been
17:24selecting for a version of yourself who
17:26you've been enacting largely without
17:29examining it.
17:31The game just holds up the aggregate.
17:35Here's what you've been doing.
17:37Here's the person you've been becoming
17:39without necessarily choosing to.
17:41And most people in real life never
17:45forget that mirror held up until
17:46something breaks badly enough that the
17:48pattern becomes impossible to ignore.
17:59I want to be precise about what the
18:01filter actually cost me.
18:03Because this isn't an abstraction. And
18:06I'm tired of talking about it in ways
18:07that let everyone, including me, off the
18:10hook.
18:12The numbing escalated.
18:14That's what happens when you close the
18:16valve down far enough for long enough.
18:19The pressure doesn't disappear. It
18:21accumulates. And you need more
18:23aggressive numbing to maintain the same
18:25level of
18:26not feeling.
18:28Substances or situations,
18:31uh versions of life that kept the volume
18:33loud enough that nothing quieter could
18:36get through.
18:38And the aggressive numbing has its own
18:40gravity, its own way of making decisions
18:43on your behalf while you're busy
18:46convincing yourself you're the one
18:47making them.
18:49The places it took me nearly cost me
18:52everything.
18:54It cost me my freedom, my pride. It
18:57almost cost me my own life.
19:00The distance between this filter is
19:04philosophically interesting and this
19:07filter nearly killed me is the entire
19:10point of what we're talking about.
19:13This isn't abstract.
19:15This is what the mechanism actually does
19:18when you let it run long enough without
19:20examining it.
19:23And there are parts of that story that
19:25I'm going to leave in the shadow.
19:27Partially because other people exist
19:29inside those memories
19:31and partially because the details would
19:33just pull attention toward the wreckage
19:35instead of the mechanism that produced
19:37it.
19:39Uh
19:40some things don't have some some things
19:42don't stop having consequences just
19:44because enough time has passed.
19:46And the internet has a way of turning
19:48details into verdicts. And frankly, the
19:51details aren't what matter here.
19:55Anyway,
19:56uh
19:57the shape of it is this.
19:59I built a filter to protect myself from
20:02from being hurt by the world, and it
20:04navigated me directly into the worst
20:07damage I ever experienced. Just through
20:10a door I hadn't thought to guard.
20:13The filter selected for it.
20:16That's what I couldn't see from inside
20:17it.
20:18That's what makes the mechanism so
20:20unsettling.
20:22It's self-concealing by design.
20:25The thing that's running your life is
20:28the very thing you're least capable of
20:30examining because examining it requires
20:33the perceptual openness it was built to
20:37prevent.
20:39And I'll tell you something else.
20:41I still feel the pull sometimes.
20:44On bad days,
20:46that tingly sensation of wanting to go
20:49full-on hardcore mode. Become again the
20:51version of me that doesn't need and
20:54doesn't feel and handles everything with
20:56a performance of indifference so
20:58consistent it almost convinces even me.
21:02I would be lying if I said that feeling
21:04doesn't come back.
21:06I'm not a ticking bomb. I'm not standing
21:09on on the edge of anything.
21:12But I would be dishonest with you if I
21:13pretended that the old architecture just
21:16dissolves just because you understand
21:18it.
21:19Understanding the cage doesn't
21:21automatically open the door.
21:24Sometimes you understand it completely
21:26and still feel the pull of the lock.
21:29That's the part nobody wants to admit
21:32because it doesn't fit the arc of the
21:33story we prefer to tell about growth.
21:37The one where insight produces
21:38transformation and transformation is
21:41permanent and you reach a point where
21:42the old pattern stop mattering.
21:45That story is comfortable.
21:47It's also mostly fictional.
21:50What actually happens is you carry it.
21:54And on good days the carrying is so easy
21:56you forget it's there.
21:58And on bad days it's heavy enough that
22:01you have to be honest with yourself
22:03about what you're holding and making a
22:05deliberate choice about whether to put
22:07it back on or not.
22:09That's it. That's the whole thing.
22:12There's no version where it doesn't
22:14weigh anything.
22:16There's only the difference between
22:18carrying it consciously and letting it
22:20carry you.
22:23Look, let me ask you something.
22:26If the filter eventually becomes your
22:28identity,
22:29if the false self runs long enough that
22:31you stop feeling the difference between
22:33the performance and the person,
22:36then who the [ __ ] are you when it opens?
22:40This is not a rhetorical question. This
22:42is a genuine one. This is a genuine
22:44question.
22:46Because the comfortable answer is links.
22:49The real self was always there
22:52waiting behind the false one,
22:54patient and intact, just needing the
22:57walls to come down.
22:59And maybe that's true.
23:01But I'm not sure I believed it
23:02completely.
23:04And I think this video would be
23:06dishonest if I pretended I did.
23:09Because when the filter opened for me,
23:12what I found behind it wasn't some
23:14pristine version of myself that the
23:16performance had been hiding.
23:19What I found was
23:20someone who didn't know how to move
23:22through the world without the armor on.
23:25Someone who'd been using the filter for
23:28so long that basic navigation felt
23:31impossible without it.
23:34The filter wasn't covering the self.
23:36In a lot of ways, it had become the
23:39self.
23:41And
23:41the question of who you are without it
23:44isn't answered by removing it.
23:48It's the thing you spend years slowly
23:51figuring out in the space the removal
23:53leaves behind.
23:55That's where the honest version of this
23:57ends up.
24:04The thing Huxley believed is that the
24:07filter doesn't open through decision.
24:10You can't choose your way to a wider
24:12aperture.
24:14You can't read the right book and find
24:16the right framework.
24:19You can't decide to perceive more and
24:21have that decision be sufficient.
24:25I tried that, too.
24:26And it has the same failure mode as
24:30every other intellectual solution to an
24:31emotional problem.
24:33It works perfectly in theory,
24:36but it's useless in the place where you
24:38actually live.
24:40What was
24:41actually what actually happened for me
24:43was something closer to
24:45running out of road.
24:48There's a specific physical quality to
24:50that moment that I want to try to
24:52describe accurately
24:54because the philosophical version of it
24:56always sounds cleaner than it actually
24:58is.
25:00It felt like standing in the room where
25:03all the furniture had been removed.
25:06The kind of emptiness where you suddenly
25:09realize that the furniture was the only
25:12thing making the room intelligible.
25:15And without it, you can't remember what
25:17the room was for.
25:19Cold, um,
25:21slightly vertiginous.
25:24The strategies were gone.
25:26The numbing had stopped working.
25:29The performance had no audience left,
25:32including me.
25:34And in that stripped-down space with
25:38nothing left to manage and nothing left
25:40to maintain,
25:41something that had been running
25:43underneath the whole time became briefly
25:45audible.
25:46The signal
25:48coming through at the volume I hadn't
25:50allowed before because I'd finally run
25:52out of things to drown it with.
25:55The second image is less poetic than the
25:58first, but more accurate because of it.
26:02Something closer to system failure.
26:05The moment a a machine keeps running
26:07after the operator has stopped giving it
26:10commands.
26:11Everything still technically works. I
26:13mean, you're still moving, still
26:15functioning at the surface level that
26:17the world requires.
26:20But the
26:21control layer has dropped out of the
26:24loop.
26:25And what's left is just a continuation
26:27without supervision.
26:30I remember walking through a city at
26:32night during that period and noticing
26:35that nothing was being supervised
26:36anymore.
26:38Not my thoughts, not even the meaning of
26:41what I was looking at.
26:43Everything was still happening, just
26:45without the filter deciding in real time
26:47what it was supposed to mean.
26:50And in that quiet, the simplest things
26:53started reappearing.
26:56Cold air,
26:58footsteps on pavement,
27:00>> [snorts]
27:00>> the sound of my own breathing.
27:03Inputs that had always been there
27:06finally getting through.
27:09Huxley spent the later part of his life
27:13trying to understand what that signal
27:15actually was.
27:17And his answer moved me in directions
27:19I'm not going to follow
27:21I'm not going to follow him into here.
27:23But,
27:24the diagnostic part,
27:26the part about what the valve does and
27:28what becomes briefly available when it
27:30opens,
27:31that part is as precise as a description
27:34of a specific kind of human experience
27:36I've read anywhere.
27:38The filter is not the self.
27:41The self is what the filter has been
27:43reducing all along.
27:45And what becomes available when the
27:48reduction loosens, even if it's just a
27:50little bit,
27:51it's not wisdom or any of the things the
27:53self industry promises promises you at
27:56the end of the journey.
27:58It's just
28:00a more
28:01more of what was always there.
28:03More of what the valve had been deciding
28:06on your behalf and without your consent
28:08that you couldn't afford to receive.
28:12Arthur Morgan's version of that is the
28:14mountain.
28:15Mine was a city street at some hour I
28:17couldn't remember with nothing left to
28:20put to to perform and no audience left
28:22to perform to.
28:24Different circumstances, same mechanism.
28:29The filter open because you're ready. It
28:32opens because you finally stop being
28:35able to afford keeping it shut.
28:37That's just what what what it is.
28:46Arthur Morgan dies on a mountain
28:48watching the sunrise.
28:51He has maybe an hour.
28:52His lungs are done.
28:55The man who spent his entire adult life
28:57performing someone who didn't require
28:59anything from the world is sitting there
29:02at the end of it watching light come
29:04over a landscape he's crossed a hundred
29:06times.
29:08And the journal entry from that morning
29:10is the most unguarded thing he ever
29:12wrote.
29:14The filter is fully open.
29:16Because there's nothing left worth
29:18maintaining it for.
29:20And what comes through is
29:23just the experience of being present in
29:25a moment without a reduction running.
29:28Which is something he almost never let
29:30himself have while there was still time
29:32to have more of it.
29:35That's the part that gets me every time.
29:36That's the part that actually gets me
29:38emotional.
29:40Not that he's dying,
29:42but that it took dying for the living to
29:45finally feel real.
29:47That it took running completely out of
29:49road before he stopped managing his own
29:51experience long enough to just have it.
29:55I don't know what my version of that
29:56mountain looks like. I know I'm not on
29:59it yet.
30:00I know the sensation of the filter
30:03creeping back on bad days.
30:05The pull toward the comfortable numbness
30:08of not require anything from anyone.
30:11And I know that past tense is an
30:13incomplete description of something that
30:15still has present tense thief.
30:19What I have is a slightly wider aperture
30:22than I used to have.
30:24And the understanding, not the decision,
30:28the understanding which arrived through
30:31depletion rather than choice, that the
30:33valve was never protecting me from the
30:35world.
30:37It was protecting me from the signal the
30:39the world was sending that I'd decided I
30:42couldn't afford to receive.
30:45Henri Bergson would say the filter was
30:48never the enemy.
30:49It was always just the price of
30:51functioning.
30:53But functioning and living are not the
30:56same thing.
30:57And most people spend their entire lives
31:00optimizing the former without ever
31:02asking what the latter might actually
31:04feel like with the valve open just a
31:07little wider.
31:09Memory is not a reliable narrator when
31:12it comes to your own failures.
31:14But the filter leaves traces everywhere
31:17except in itself.
31:19>> [snorts]
31:19>> In what you avoided and and in what kept
31:22finding you anyway.
31:24In the journal entries that document
31:26everything except the thing that
31:28mattered most.
31:30Read back to you in a voice that changes
31:32depending on who you've been becoming
31:34without noticing.
31:36The footage is always there.
31:40You just have to be willing to watch it.

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