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The Night I Lost It All | Matt's Gambling Addiction — Transcript

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0:00I can just remember them falling asleep
0:02with the bet on and then
0:04waking up in the morning and looking at
0:07my phone and realizing that I basically
0:08just lost everything overnight. When I
0:11used to work in an office, I had like a
0:13screen with my work on it and I had
0:15another screen with [music] like bet365
0:17in the background. I was hooked on
0:19in-play. Everything had to be instant. I
0:22had like one of the advisors like
0:23contact me and they said, "So we we've
0:25seen there's not [music] as much
0:26activity on your account recently." And
0:29then they put some free bets into my
0:30account as a like a an incentive [music]
0:32to start again, basically. I used to
0:34begrudge like spending money on basic
0:37like things. I used to [music] say we
0:38couldn't have this, we couldn't have
0:40that, just the the normal everyday
0:41things where I could go out and spend
0:43[music] thousands and thousands of
0:45pounds.
0:46She had a milk intolerance, so she
0:49couldn't have normal milk. She was in a
0:51lot of discomfort. It [music] was very
0:52hard work with her bringing her up.
0:55Within days, I was gambling that money
0:57that was supposed to be paying for our
0:58house. Not her fault at all, but at that
1:01point [music] then, I blamed everything
1:03on everybody else. It was her fault. I
1:04used to blame her that she she didn't go
1:06to sleep at night and [music] it was
1:08preventing me that the time from
1:11gambling, basically.
1:13It was coming to the point where we had
1:14to pay an amount to the builder and I
1:17just said, "I haven't got [music] the
1:18money." I remember just literally
1:20breaking down, falling to the floor, my
1:22hands over
1:23literally sobbing. I still had in my
1:25head, [music] "How was I going to get
1:26that money back that I'd lost?" The
1:29hardest thing was not the the money. We
1:31can replace the money. The trust and the
1:33people that I had hurt, the lies that I
1:36told, the double personality that I had.
1:41>> Matt, welcome to the Addicted Recovery
1:43Show.
1:43>> Thank you.
1:44>> It's the first question I like to ask. I
1:47go right in at the deep end. I always
1:49ask people to think of their most
1:51powerful gambling memory. So when I say
1:53that to you, what what comes to mind?
1:55>> I think towards the the real
1:59sort of end of the of the gambling I can
2:01remember like waiting deliberately for
2:03my wife to to fall asleep in the middle
2:06of the night and I'd had a bet on on a
2:09Chinese woman's netball in the evening
2:12and I can just remember and falling
2:14asleep with the bet on and then
2:17waking up in the morning and looking at
2:19my phone and realizing that I'd
2:21basically just lost everything
2:23overnight. You know, having to then
2:25carry on with like my day with nobody
2:27knowing what happened and then that
2:30point then I just knew like something
2:33had to change.
2:34>> That was the That was the the breaking
2:36point that you sound similar to me where
2:38where I was betting on Kazakhstani
2:40second division basketball games. Not
2:42even been able to to pronounce any of
2:44the names, never mind having any of the
2:46any knowledge of the the teams. The So,
2:49I'm guessing that's that's more towards
2:51the the end of your addiction before we
2:53before we go into recovery. But what I'd
2:55now like to do, I'd like to rewind back
2:56to the start and us build up to that
2:58moment to how it got so bad. So, tell me
3:00what what early life was like for Matt
3:02and build me up to that moment that
3:03gambling first entered your life.
3:05>> Gambling had never been in my life at
3:08all. I'd never really been involved with
3:10anything to do with like gambling at
3:12all. So, basically before children when
3:14I was with my wife just on a Saturday we
3:16used to like go into like town, go into
3:19the bookies and just place like a an
3:20accumulator on the football just just
3:22for a few quid just for a laugh really
3:25just for just a few quid nothing. We did
3:28that for like a few years and then
3:30basically for me around the the sort of
3:33birth of my first child in like 2014
3:37I sort of discovered online gambling.
3:39I'd placed like first bet online and it
3:41was probably like for like just a few
3:43quid, five quid, 10 quid just what you
3:46could like afford and just over time it
3:48just escalated. So, to the point where I
3:51was then betting tens, hundreds,
3:54hundreds of pounds on like bets that
3:56could be like on football games, tennis
3:59games, horse racing, anything. And with
4:03addiction, I've got an addictive
4:05personality anyway. Always found that I
4:07get into things and get addicted by
4:09things. Really compulsive. Basically,
4:12just with the online gambling, I just
4:14found myself, as I said, I was like
4:15betting on on all sorts of different
4:17things and then I started I had a lot of
4:20money in the bank savings and then I
4:22started like eating into my savings and
4:25then as it went on, I I then got made
4:28what they call a VIP customer under
4:30Paddy Power where
4:32I had a an adviser that used to like
4:34call me up and and then I I got me and
4:37the wife got invited on special events.
4:40Like we went to like Wimbledon center
4:41court, got invited like World Cup
4:43tickets, Formula 1 and stuff and trying
4:47to remember like over the years I just
4:48got more and more hooked on it and I was
4:51losing more and more money, my own
4:53money, all of my own savings and then I
4:56then I started because I had such a good
4:58credit score, never took out any credit
5:00before, I then called up loan companies
5:03and within seconds I had like 20 grand
5:06like into my account. I did that two or
5:08three times. I'd have like 20 grand
5:10deposited into my account and it would
5:11probably be gone within the within a
5:14couple of weeks. And yeah, it was just
5:16far out of control. I was like getting
5:18more and more into like debt. I was
5:20lying, my personality like changed. I
5:23was hiding things all the time, like
5:24sneaking around trying to get on my
5:26phone. My wife knew that I was gambling
5:29but I she never knew to the extent of
5:32what I was gambling and what I was like
5:33losing. I just used to say oh it was
5:36free bets that I was playing with and
5:37things like that. So, basically just
5:39kept hid it and I was gambling all the
5:42time when I was at work. When I used to
5:44work in an office, so I had like a
5:46screen with my work on it and I had
5:47another screen with like Bet365 in the
5:50background. I was hooked on in-play.
5:52Everything had to be instant like like
5:54now. I couldn't wait for like I was just
5:56like I was literally spending so much
5:58time gambling. I can remember like my I
6:00had bets on and because my phone was on
6:03all day, my battery used to like die on
6:05my phone and I never knew whether the
6:06bet won or lost. Fast forward a little
6:09bit. I can remember like when my first
6:11girl was born and we'd be like at family
6:14events and I was I was just I wasn't I
6:17was there in person but I wasn't
6:19present. All I was doing is sneaking off
6:21to go on my phone. I wasn't actually
6:22there in the moment. I missed so much
6:24time of their younger years through, you
6:28know, even like bedtimes. I can remember
6:30going, "Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll do the
6:31bedtimes." Going upstairs, I was just
6:34sitting there on my phone gambling with
6:36my little ones. I missed out on all of
6:37that. Yeah, and as as you said, it just
6:39escalated further and further to the
6:41point used up all of my money, used up
6:44the loans, credit cards, and like as we
6:46all know, it doesn't, you know,
6:48whatever money we've got left, we're
6:49going to gamble with.
6:51>> Yeah, there's no amount.
6:53I feel like we rushed past an awful lot
6:55of years there.
6:56Tell me more about how it's gone from
6:59from that accumulator. It sounds like it
7:00was a hobby and it was under control
7:03to when online betting came in and like
7:06how talk to me about how quick that
7:09progression was of going from a hobby
7:12to becoming sort of an obsession into an
7:14addiction.
7:15>> Yeah, going back said back back to the
7:18when we used to just like bet in the
7:20bookies. All I can say then is like when
7:23you go in the bookies, you have a few
7:24quid in your hand. It's it's cash. You
7:26can you can feel cash. You can see cash.
7:29When I like started gambling in online,
7:33all I can describe it was I was like as
7:35I said at the start, just gambling with
7:37like 5 10 10 pounds transactions and I
7:41was like, you know, I I think at the
7:43start I like I had a a a massive win
7:46like at the start. I think I started off
7:48with like £10 and I kept building up
7:50within play and betting online till till
7:53I got up to I don't know, £200 and I was
7:55like
7:56after that that's when I started like
7:58getting more like hooked on on that. I
8:00thought I I thought to myself
8:03that I'm going out to work all day. I
8:05can actually I don't need to work. I can
8:07be online gambling and making and these
8:10that I can remember back then at the
8:11start. I used to draw up little plans
8:13like I used to have like a little
8:14notebook. If I can earn this amount each
8:17day from gambling, then I can give up
8:19work. I I actually convinced myself that
8:22I was going to be a professional
8:24gambler. And as I said, you know, from
8:27then on I had periods of when I I would
8:29have like bigger wins and then I'd lose
8:32and then when I like started to see that
8:34I was losing money, that's when it
8:36escalated a bit more that I I want that
8:39that money that I'd lost. I wanted to
8:40win back. I had that fixed amount in my
8:43head of the money that I used to have
8:46and I wanted that back. That I had that
8:48that figure that I was always chasing
8:49all the time. Then I
8:52after a while I was like betting with
8:55Bet365 and they they allowed me to like
8:58keep on gambling going. I had somebody
9:00contact me to sort of say cuz I was
9:02losing quite a bit at this point. I had
9:03somebody like
9:05call up and say, "Are you comfortable
9:06with your losses? What you're losing cuz
9:08we've noticed there's been a lot more
9:09activity on your account. Are you
9:11comfortable with this?" And as a
9:13compulsive gambler, the thing you want
9:15to do is keep on gambling. So, I just
9:17said, "Yeah, of course I am. I'm I'm
9:19happy. Yeah, I'm happy that I've I've
9:21I'm I'm winning some, losing some.
9:23Yeah." After a while they I had a period
9:26of when stopped for a little while
9:27because I think I'd run out of money. I
9:29was waiting for the next payday. I had
9:31like one of the advisors like contact me
9:33and they said, "So, we we've seen
9:35there's not as much activity on your
9:37account recently. Um and then and then
9:39they put some free bets into my account
9:41as a like a you know, an incentive to
9:44start again basically. So, I remember
9:46always having free bets. And then I can
9:48also remember that stage that I had like
9:52a big bet on. I was now gambling into
9:54like the thousands now. I think I had
9:56like a bet on of like 5 grand on Rafael
10:00Nadal to win the next point or the next
10:02set in night tennis. I remember where I
10:05was at that point. I was in the gym
10:07working out and had my phone in the like
10:09the background. And there's all these
10:11people like around me and I can just
10:14remember looking at my phone because it
10:16was in-play betting, you can cash out at
10:18any point. And I was like seeing the
10:21amount was like going down and down
10:23because it wasn't going to plan and then
10:26I think something happened where he must
10:27have won a point and then it was going
10:28back up again. And your emotions and
10:30that are just up, down, up, down like
10:32constantly all the time. And I remember
10:35in the end the the bet lost and I just
10:37remember chucking my phone across like
10:39the gym floor and like all these people
10:41like looking at me. I was devastated.
10:43I'd just lost. But this is when the like
10:45the addiction like really started to
10:47like really kick in because
10:50you feel the remorse, the the the anger
10:53and things like that one minute and
10:54within like a couple of minutes your
10:56brain is just like telling you how you
10:58can then get onto the next bet to win
10:59that money back again. So, very quickly
11:02I was like depositing more money and I
11:05used to have this thing when you
11:06withdrew money, like if you won a bet
11:08you could withdraw money back into your
11:09account but they they're very clever the
11:11bookies because they hold it in an
11:13account so the money doesn't come
11:14directly straight back to you. It it it
11:17sits there. So, when you've then lost
11:19your money, the hex are you're going to
11:21do is just go back into that and
11:22withdraw it again.
11:23Uh and that was what was happening. And
11:25then as I said over the next months,
11:28year, I would just find myself just the
11:31gambling was just like constant. It was
11:33just like night and day when I was at
11:35work, when I was at home. I just had to
11:37have a bet on all the time. As I said,
11:41by this time second little girl was born
11:43and I I can remember even in the
11:46hospital.
11:47>> What you've just spoke about then? So
11:48you just you've just got up to the point
11:49of talking about your your second one
11:51being born, but I'll I'll ask
11:53[clears throat] you all this stuff now
11:54and then and let you carry on with with
11:55that bit. But I was I was laughing along
11:57then to the the professional gambler bit
11:59because I was the exact same. For so
12:00many years the delusional thing and the
12:03I'm good at this. Look, I can win and
12:06like I'm going to become that
12:07professional gambler. But
12:09those wins would be so few and far
12:11between yet I'd still have the belief
12:13that yeah, I'm going to become the
12:14professional gambler. Look. And then
12:16same same as yourself. I just need to
12:17make this much each day.
12:19And what am I going to work for for 10
12:20hours a day when I can just do this and
12:22I love this. This is like this is this
12:23is my new career.
12:25But then as soon as I'd lose, I'd just
12:27feel like
12:28just I just need to stop. When I win,
12:31don't carry on. Just that's what I'll do
12:32different next time and then I'll be
12:34fine. I can be this professional
12:35gambler. It's amazing the the lies that
12:37we we tell ourselves while we're right
12:39in the midst of it. A question I do
12:41normally ask my guests is did anyone
12:43else notice how bad your gambling was
12:45becoming before you did? You would have
12:47been the first person ever to answer
12:49saying yes, Bet365 called me.
12:52I've never known that that like the come
12:53and the mixed signals that they're
12:55sending you. They're calling you one
12:56minute saying you're losing too much and
12:58then they're calling you the next minute
12:59going you're not gambling enough. It's
13:01it's like such a toxic relationship. You
13:04don't know if you're coming or going.
13:05>> Yes, it's crazy that they take advantage
13:08of problem gamblers. They see the signs
13:10and they they know exactly what they're
13:11doing.
13:12>> Mhm, [clears throat] certainly.
13:13The roller coaster as well, the roller
13:15coaster of emotions. Completely relate
13:18to that.
13:19I'm chat GPT diagnosed ADHD and I know I
13:22am. I've just never been officially
13:23diagnosed at it, but I think I enjoyed
13:27those roller coasters. Like looking back
13:29now, I'm like I'm so happy having the
13:30peaceful life that I've got now where I
13:33live in the three out of 10s or the
13:35seven out of 10s. But I think I did love
13:37those roller coasters because those 10
13:39out of 10s were so euphoric when the win
13:41when it would all come together and I'd
13:43be convinced I'm going to be that
13:44professional gambler. Like it was
13:45amazing.
13:47But there was for every one of them
13:49there was there was 100 one out of 10
13:51days. But I do think I slightly miss
13:54that roller coaster. I think it it's
13:56ADHD and gambling addiction's heavily
13:58linked because of that because it can
14:00give you like the best wins for me were
14:03always I'm down and I was all day I'm
14:05chasing all day all day I'm down. It's
14:07I've got no chance and then right at the
14:09end I get it all back. Even even I've
14:11I've spent 10 hours 12 hours in the
14:12bookies and all I've done is get my
14:14money back that I started with. Yeah,
14:16that that is like an amazing day for me.
14:18So I do think I miss that roller coaster
14:20slightly miss those roller coaster days.
14:23Do you feel
14:25you were enjoying that roller coaster
14:27while you were in the midst of it? Like
14:29looking back now, how do you see it and
14:30do you believe
14:32that that roller coaster that those
14:33highs kept you kept you in there kept
14:35you going back to it?
14:36>> I completely agree with everything
14:38you've just said then. That's that's
14:39exactly me in a nutshell.
14:41With the ADHD thing, I believe I've got
14:44that as well. My middle daughter has
14:46been diagnosed with that. Not gone
14:48through the diagnosis of it. I believe
14:50I've got that as well because exactly as
14:52you said, you know, that I used to love
14:53that absolute high and then like even
14:56when you went you felt you had that
14:58horrible low and you had that sick
15:00feeling in your like stomach. Within
15:02seconds you that had gone and as it like
15:05you just said, like if you'd you
15:07convince your brain convinces yourself
15:09like even if you've I could have lost
15:11thousands in the day, but I could have
15:12like won a bet where I'd I'd won a few
15:15hundred quid and that could successful
15:17day. You know, it's it's mad that your
15:19brain talks you into this. Like it's
15:21it's basically you you might as well
15:23just go outside in the drain and
15:25literally just tip the money down the
15:26drain. Yeah, the emotions when you're up
15:29here, down here
15:30in the course of a day is not healthy at
15:33all and and it's just the the person
15:35that like you become. I mean, people my
15:38wife my wife could see like I was like I
15:40was changing like, you know, I'd be one
15:44minute I'd be up here like saying, "Oh,
15:45you know, we can um let's let's book a
15:47holiday." cuz I must have just had a big
15:49win or something like this. It was like
15:50these these mates are like, "Oh, we can
15:52we can go and do this." and then the
15:53next minute when I'm like down low I was
15:55like, "Oh, I can't possibly go out for a
15:57or you can two for £10 meal." I used to
16:00begrudge like spending money on basic
16:03like things. I used to say we couldn't
16:04have this, we couldn't have that, just
16:05the the normal everyday things where I
16:08could go out and spend thousands and
16:10thousands of pounds gambling and not bat
16:12an eyelid.
16:13>> Gamban blocks thousands of gambling
16:15websites and betting apps on your
16:16devices.
16:17Once it's installed, [music] these sites
16:19and
16:20>> The worst part about my gambling
16:21addiction wasn't losing the money, it
16:23was waking up the next [music] day and
16:24pretending like nothing had happened.
16:26That voice that tells you just one more
16:29and then I'll stop or I'll stop now.
16:31But tomorrow comes and that cycle starts
16:33again. Another bet, another loss, and
16:36another promise to quit. That's the trap
16:38of gambling when it's always right there
16:40on your phone. One of the biggest things
16:42that helped me early in my recovery was
16:44realizing something so simple.
16:46Willpower alone isn't enough when
16:49gambling is always one click away. And
16:52that's why tools like Gamban can be so
16:55powerful. And when gambling isn't
16:56constantly in front of you, something
16:58changes. Your brain finally [music] gets
17:01space to reset. Space to think and space
17:03to recover. So, if you're serious about
17:05taking back control, install Gamban
17:08today. The link's below. Put a little
17:10bit of friction between you and that
17:11first bet.
17:12>> Distorts your your value for money,
17:14doesn't it? I remember the exact same
17:15thing. I was like, "£40 for a pair of
17:17jeans. Oh my god. And then I'll put I'll
17:19put £600 on a roulette spin. It's
17:21insane. The change in our brain, like
17:23you said.
17:24I just want to before I let you carry
17:25on, I just want to take you back to that
17:26moment in the gym that you spoke about.
17:28Like all all I'm thinking is just the
17:30isolation of the addiction in that
17:31moment. Like you've chucked that phone,
17:33everyone in the gym's looking at you.
17:34Nobody knows why you've done it, only
17:36you know what's going on in that moment
17:38and it's just so isolating. Like do you
17:40remember having to to get off the
17:41treadmill or whatever it was and go and
17:43pick it up? And did you feel like just
17:45all that eyes were looking at you? You
17:46felt like trapped in that moment.
17:48>> I can just remember like picking yeah,
17:50picking up the phone. I just felt just
17:52like I'm in the gym there for a reason,
17:54but really at that point I was going to
17:56the gym just as a an escapism like to
17:59another way of hiding. And I just
18:02remembered like back then and I just
18:03used to blame everybody else. Every It
18:05was everybody else's fault that this had
18:07happened. I can remember like the amount
18:10of times that I used to go cuz I used to
18:12do the in-play and betting. I I can
18:14remember calling up the the gambling
18:16company and and and saying, "Oh, I went
18:19to press cash out. I meant I went to
18:21press cash out and then it froze. It
18:23froze." Like I was actually I was lying.
18:25I was lying to try and get my money
18:26back. It did work a couple of times. Um
18:29I think I did it on that occasion as
18:31well in the in the gym that time. I can
18:33remember calling up Bet365 and saying,
18:36"Um I went to press cash out and then
18:37the cash out button froze." And I can
18:39remember they were looking into it and
18:40in the end they gave me some
18:42some free bets as they knew I just
18:45continue. They wanted me to just to keep
18:47keep gambling. That point of just being
18:49on the floor, like I can like now see
18:51that was horrible those moments when you
18:53were just defeated and um you just felt
18:56like useless and where you were going to
18:58you just had this sick feeling like in
19:00your stomach. It's hard to explain, but
19:02they are horrible.
19:03>> Anyone listening who's suffered with
19:05your addiction as you and I have, they
19:07they know that feeling. Like you don't
19:08need to explain it, they know exactly
19:10what it is. Like my face when you said
19:11it worked a couple of times like telling
19:13the lie about cash out. My face went
19:14like that, but then as soon as I started
19:16thinking about it, I was like the
19:17gambling company look at it look at your
19:19account history and go yeah, it's fine.
19:21We can keep him on the good side. We
19:22know it's coming straight back to us.
19:23There's no danger or they can see from
19:25your history that there's no danger that
19:27it's like it's it's a loan that they're
19:29just giving to you. They know it's
19:30coming straight back. As soon as as soon
19:32as I thought about it for a second,
19:33right point in your story now you said
19:35your your second daughter has just been
19:37born.
19:37>> My second daughter was born in um 2016.
19:42So we had an uh my first was 18 months
19:45old at this point and my second like
19:47come along and at the time it was very
19:50difficult. She was a she had a milk
19:53intolerance so she couldn't um have
19:55normal milk. We had to it was she was in
19:58a lot of discomfort. It was very hard
20:00work with her bringing her up. Not her
20:03fault at all, but again at that point
20:06then I blamed everything on everybody
20:07else it was her fault. I used to I used
20:10to blame that she
20:11that her that she she didn't go to sleep
20:13at night and she kept crying and stuff
20:16all the time and but I just remember it
20:18it was preventing me that the time from
20:21from gambling basically. These
20:22distractions were it was as a it was an
20:25inconvenience. I think like looking back
20:27on it now before we had children, it
20:30took me a long time to get my head round
20:32the fact that I had these massive
20:33commitments. Now my life had changed. I
20:36wasn't just being able just to do what I
20:38wanted anymore. I've always like looked
20:40back and thought was it worth I started
20:42like gambling and because as I said
20:44years before that I I never used to
20:46gamble at all. As to say as as she got
20:48older my other one was like growing up
20:51the gambling just just intensified and
20:53it was I could I could remember then I
20:55actually got banned from betting with
20:58Bet365 because I couldn't prove my
21:00losses. I used to literally just lie
21:03about that as well. I used to take like
21:04screenshots of different bank accounts
21:06and ones I didn't have just to keep on
21:08gambling. This point they whatever I was
21:11submitting they going to put my account
21:12on hold. So literally as soon as I did
21:15that I just switched over betting
21:17companies and then opened up the VIP
21:19account with Paddy Power. Again same
21:22thing got given loads of free bets at
21:25the start was given an account manager
21:27to manage my account. Again we were
21:29given like VIP days out trips out things
21:33like this and I was just continuing in
21:35the same vein. And by this time instead
21:37of just gambling all my own money as I
21:39was taking out loans. We had just sold
21:43our old house. The money was supposed to
21:46be for improvements for our new house.
21:49We needed like stuff done at the new
21:51house. We had a builder in at the time
21:53who was like working in the house and I
21:56obviously assured him that I had all the
21:57like the the funds and everything like
21:59that the the funds from the sale of our
22:01house
22:02went straight into my current account.
22:04That was like nice dangerous thing that
22:05could have happened. I could that that
22:07money could have gone into a joint
22:08account. It could have gone into my
22:09wife's account but it went straight into
22:11my account and within days I was I was
22:14gambling that money that was supposed to
22:15be paying for our for our house. I was
22:18gambling and within
22:20few weeks maybe a month most if not all
22:22of that money had gone.
22:24>> What are you telling yourself as you
22:25doing it? Just I'm just going to win
22:27some of this back and then I'll stop and
22:29I'll put everything back.
22:30>> Exactly. You just you just telling
22:31yourself that because I had that such a
22:34big lump amount in my account my brain
22:36was telling me that I can double this I
22:38can treble this. That's all my brain was
22:40telling me and then I was then losing
22:41the money. One minute my was I oh [ __ ]
22:44you know how am I going to
22:46you know tell the wife and the builder
22:49who was doing the work who was wanting
22:50payments every few of and I had to keep
22:53making up excuses. And then I remember
22:56getting
22:58family involved to see if they'd lend me
23:00money move money about. I was just
23:02constantly my you know your brain all
23:04day is just up here, down here like just
23:07working out how you're going to move
23:09this money, how you're going to win this
23:10amount of money. It's just yeah.
23:12>> Does anyone other than you know what's
23:14going on?
23:14>> No, no. My wife didn't have any idea
23:16about the the money that was transferred
23:19for a house into the account. She didn't
23:20know that I was using that. She just
23:22assumed that I was paying all of the the
23:24bills for the builder. Yeah, she didn't
23:26have a clue that where where the money
23:28was going.
23:28>> There was VIP days out there, Formula 1
23:31and stuff that you're taking your your
23:32missus on. What are you what are you
23:33telling her? I've I've won this.
23:35>> Yeah, so they like the Wimbledon center
23:37court tickets. Um went there like I
23:40can't remember like we we we're at
23:42Wimbledon. We went and had this like
23:43fancy like meals, went and sat up in the
23:45box and I just said at the time and
23:48obviously there's people all around me
23:50and probably exactly the same sort of
23:51people that are
23:52providing them so much money. But we're
23:54all she sort of like she loved the day
23:57out because you know she gets to dress
23:58up, you know you're made to feel like
24:00royalty and at this point I was like I
24:01yeah this is fantastic, you know? I want
24:03more of this.
24:04>> I got these tickets for free but in
24:06reality
24:07it's hundreds of thousands of pounds
24:09those tickets have cost you.
24:11>> Exactly. Crazy.
24:13>> For for people who don't have a gambling
24:14addiction who are who are listening to
24:15us now they'd be like just why didn't
24:17you just stop? Why are you carrying on?
24:19I just want to I want you to emphasize
24:21that point that I had throughout my
24:23addiction as well of just I'm just going
24:25to get that big win. Once that big win
24:27comes I'm going to stop. I can buy
24:28everybody forgiveness. I can put
24:29everything back and everything will be
24:31okay. The delusion delusional thinking
24:33just I'd say the addiction used to speak
24:35to me in my own voice and that's what it
24:37would tell me. Just get that big win and
24:38then you can stop. But every time I got
24:40close to that big win it was like go
24:41again. Go a little bit more. Get a
24:43little bit of profits then stop. There
24:44was just no way I could stop. Just talk
24:46me through what was what was going on
24:47through your brain as you were taking
24:48those loans out and stuff like
24:50>> Like yeah, I've heard it all before like
24:52especially obviously since stopping
24:54gambling like you know you get people
24:55who who just said you know why didn't
24:57you just stop? Even my wife has said to
24:59me like when she found out about it all
25:01and she just said like why didn't you
25:03just come and ask for help, but it's
25:04something in in in your brain it's just
25:06the compulsion that that you just cannot
25:09stop. It's so hard to explain. You know
25:11how much damage that you're doing to
25:13yourself, to your family and everyone
25:15around you, but just the addiction is so
25:17powerful. It's like before I've never
25:20smoked, I've never been into drugs or
25:22anything like that and I used to like
25:23stereo type people who were on drugs or
25:27who smoked. You know, I just used to
25:28like think like what what are you doing?
25:29You should you can just stop. You just
25:31can't. You just cannot stop. The
25:33addiction has got hold of you so much,
25:34the compulsion. You talk it's how you
25:36say oh you you get this amount in your
25:39head that this win is going to you're
25:41going to stop once you've won that
25:42amount, once you've got your money back.
25:43Like I said, I had this target in my
25:45head or I want this money back. Once I
25:47did that, I was going to stop. As we all
25:48know as compulsive gamblers, money just
25:51is irrelevant in the end. Uh it doesn't
25:53it doesn't matter if you know, I've met
25:55people who have gambled with hundreds of
25:57thousands of pounds and people who have
25:59gambled with tens of pounds. The money
26:01is irrelevant.
26:03Um you will gamble whatever you've got.
26:05>> It's just just ammunition to to keep
26:07going, isn't it? That's all it is. All
26:08wins are just future losses.
26:11I know
26:12for me like that I always think back to
26:14to
26:15my second to last relapse and I was I
26:17was in the pits. Like I was in big
26:19trouble.
26:20And this one night I woke up 2:00 a.m. I
26:22don't want my wife to see what I'm She's
26:23asleep, but I don't want her to see my
26:25phone just in case she can see what's
26:26going on. So, I go down to the couch
26:27downstairs and I have this really good
26:29run.
26:30And like I've almost got it all back.
26:32I'm back into six figures. Like I can
26:33pay off the loan, pay off the credit
26:34card. I can put the like everything that
26:37the wife still thinks is invested in
26:39Bitcoin that I have actually lost. I can
26:40put it all back. I think I was about
26:42$8,000 short and I'm like
26:44I remember saying right it it was I I
26:47was packing up about 5:00 a.m. Saturday
26:48morning cuz I was in work at 6:00. So, I
26:50was putting everything away and I was
26:51like, right, you're you're I think it
26:53was $8,000 away from getting it all
26:55back. Once you get it all back, you can
26:57stop. And literally, another voice in my
26:59head just went, you won't stop. It's
27:01like there's two voices in my head. It's
27:03like the angel and devil thing. And it's
27:04just I ignored that voice. I was like,
27:06whatever, I know what I'm doing. Three
27:08days later, bam, it's it's all gone
27:10straight back again. The story you you
27:12told me at the start where you've you
27:13fell asleep with the Chinese basketball,
27:16was it?
27:17Is that Take Take me into the that time.
27:19Was that your very last bet? Take me up
27:21to the the moment where you you'd
27:23finally had enough.
27:24>> It wasn't my last like bet. Um no, I
27:26continued gambling. That was just a
27:28really powerful like moment. As I said,
27:30the addiction was just so powerful. I
27:32thought I'd had enough, but because I
27:34was in so much debt by this point, I
27:36just had this like I just wanted to keep
27:38on gambling. Yeah, as I said, my my
27:40second was born in 2016.
27:43The addiction was getting out of control
27:44out of control. I was gambling more and
27:47more. As I said, it like when we having
27:49the work done at the house, it was
27:51coming to the point where we had to pay
27:52an amount to the builder and
27:55I can just remember that's when
27:58it came to a head then. I just literally
28:01completely like broke down in front of
28:03him and my wife one day in the house and
28:06I I just said, I haven't got the money.
28:07And he was like, yeah, what What do you
28:09mean you haven't got the money? You
28:10haven't got the money like this.
28:12I just literally just I remember just
28:14literally breaking down, falling to the
28:16floor, my hands in the air and and
28:17literally sobbing like
28:20He came over to me and I just told him
28:23and my wife everything what had been
28:24happening, how much money that I'd lost,
28:26where the money had gone. I've gambled
28:28it all. I've got a gambling addiction.
28:30Um I can't stop. He was really
28:33understanding. Um I think he had a
28:35member of I think it might have been his
28:37son who had suffered with addiction
28:38before. And we we get we'll we'll sit
28:41down. We're going to discuss this. We
28:42sat down. He even brought his his wife
28:45around as well. and she was
28:49with my wife and you know just trying to
28:51console her and in the end when it all
28:53settled down he said look don't worry
28:55about about this we'll we'll come to an
28:56agreement with with sort of this out. So
28:59in the end we set up like a a payment
29:01plan where I ended up having to like pay
29:04him back gradually bit by bit and my
29:07wife gave me an ultimatum then she just
29:10basically said look it's either you get
29:12help now or it's it's over the twinness.
29:15So I
29:16stood to lose everything like my my
29:18wife, my children, the house. I didn't I
29:21didn't have anything at this point and
29:23that's when by this time it was in it
29:25was 2018
29:2731st of August 2018 that was my last
29:31bet.
29:32>> Wow that building I almost giggled when
29:35you said like I broke down and saw it
29:36was a very like emotional moment.
29:38I I was totally
29:40what is this building getting at like
29:42obviously most people come clean to
29:44their wives, their partners, their
29:45children, their parents. I was just
29:47thinking like this building is like what
29:49why am I why am I in this conversation
29:51but I I understand like he's financially
29:54tied up in in this. What angel like I
29:57was expecting you to say like he's he's
29:58come over to him and he's tried to hit
30:00me. But like he's so understanding he
30:02sits down he brings his wife around to
30:04try and help your wife understand like
30:06what a man.
30:07>> He was brilliant and and with it and
30:10ever since
30:11he's never like judged or anything like
30:13this
30:14as I said we set our plan with him to
30:15pay him back over so many years which is
30:18obviously gone now. Yeah and that was
30:21the the point where I found my first GA
30:24meeting and I I went to my first GA
30:27meeting with my mom dragged me to the
30:30with me to the GA meeting just to make
30:31sure I turned up.
30:32>> What was that like I imagine you
30:34remember every every minute of it.
30:36>> At the time obviously I didn't think I
30:38had I still was like I I was as bad as
30:41needing to go into like I thought
30:43everybody else was worse than me. The
30:44people that were there, it was yeah, it
30:46was horrible walking through that door
30:48for the first time.
30:50Sitting there I can remember cuz the
30:52town where I'm from, there was even
30:54people I knew there. Yeah, just felt
30:57shamed, embarrassed, was at rock bottom
30:59like everybody is who goes into recovery
31:02at that point. Didn't know a way out. I
31:05just remembered
31:06going first meeting and then like
31:09straight after the meeting, like my mom
31:12I dropped my mom back off to like go
31:13back home and even the thought in my
31:15head there then, it was to get my phone
31:17out and start gambling again. I I
31:19literally wanted to keep gambling even
31:21though I was I was at rock bottom and I
31:23knew if I was caught gambling again, I'd
31:25lose everything. The first thought there
31:27was still because I'd been it was just a
31:29part of my life like the addiction. I
31:32couldn't get into my head. I still had
31:34in my head how was I going to get that
31:35money back that I'd lost. I could that
31:38was that was the hardest thing to try
31:39try and draw a line that I'd never get
31:41that money back. But as the I kept
31:44attending like meetings as as the weeks
31:47went on, I obviously opened up more. I
31:49listened to the room, listened to the
31:52experience of people in the room.
31:53There's all sorts of people in there
31:55like nobody judges you. I made like a
31:57plan for for my debt. I went into an IVA
32:02where I didn't want to go into a debt
32:03management plan where where you just be
32:05paying off debt for the rest of your
32:06life. There was I went into an IVA which
32:10I could be debt free after 6 years. So
32:13they arranged a
32:14payment plan with me which I could
32:15afford and I set that up about a month
32:18or so
32:202 months after after entering GA. I had
32:23to put all blocks on like all of my
32:24devices to in my my banking apps. I had
32:28to disable gambling so I could didn't
32:30have the temptation to go on there.
32:33My wife literally
32:36was watching me like a hawk. Um with
32:38everything that I did, the bank
32:40statements coming through, she was
32:41checking. And it was really hard time
32:44because I still wanted to gamble. I
32:46still wanted to gamble. And and at that
32:48point we didn't have any money. Um I had
32:50to like basically start from scratch
32:51again. It was really hard. And the
32:54hardest thing, the money, we can replace
32:56the money. It was just the trust and the
32:58people I'd hurt. The lies that I told,
33:01the double personality that I had. I'd
33:04be up here one minute, down here the
33:07next minute. I used to just lose it all
33:09the time with people. If people got in
33:10my way, I used to make up so many lies.
33:13I can remember like on the way back from
33:14work, I used to make up that there was
33:16like a traffic accident so I could pull
33:18along the lay-by and just gamble. All of
33:20these things that I've done and I
33:22gradually opened up more and more to my
33:24wife. And you know, it took her a long
33:26time. She had the resentment that she
33:28had. Especially that I was the the
33:30person that had caused all this and I
33:32was the one that was getting help. And
33:34she was the one that was in the
33:35background. There was no no help for
33:37her, nothing for her at all.
33:39She resented that a lot and
33:41there was times in the early stages
33:43where I'm I'm just so grateful that she
33:45like stuck by me and and supported me
33:48because [clears throat]
33:49I've seen it go the other way with so
33:50many other people. Yeah, that's the
33:52first few months, first year was was
33:55very very tough.
33:56>> It doesn't fix everything overnight,
33:57does it? Stopping gambling and and
33:59entering recovery.
34:00It's for me it's it's a work in progress
34:03that that I'm going to be doing for the
34:04rest of my life. There's no finished
34:06goal. There's no finished article.
34:08The the finish line is me lying on my
34:10deathbed. That's when I'll have finished
34:12doing all this inner work or trying to
34:13trying to get myself 0.1% better each
34:16day.
34:17If I do that, I'm 35% better by the end
34:19of the year.
34:20>> Well, in GA it's day at a time. That the
34:23motto in in GA is each day that you
34:25don't gamble, you can say you're never
34:27going to gamble again. But as addicts,
34:29you you can't say that you're never
34:30going to gamble again. You just have to
34:31take a day at a time. And as time goes
34:34by and you put things in place and you
34:37change you you have to change yourself.
34:41You can't just stop gambling. You have
34:43to change so many different things about
34:44your character, other things that you
34:46need to bring into your life. We're all
34:48addicts, we're all compulsive. We
34:50You know, you have to I had to find
34:52healthy addictions, things that like the
34:54gym, running, things like that.
34:56>> Just the gym without without chucking
34:57your phone halfway across the gym while
34:59you're while you're on the treadmill.
35:01>> Yeah. Yeah, actually being there for
35:03where you're supposed to be there.
35:04>> [laughter]
35:06>> The the one day at a time
35:08thing, I love that. I want to link that
35:09to to what you said like that after that
35:11first GA meeting
35:13you still wanted to gamble because your
35:15brain's still telling you like the
35:17quickest way for me to earn all this
35:18money back and pay off all this debt is
35:20hit that big win, is hit Rafael Nadal in
35:22the third set. I can double my money,
35:24then I'll double again in the next set,
35:25double again. Our brains just cannot
35:28fathom cannot compute like working for
35:30the next four years to pay this off. We
35:32want that quick fix. We want to get it
35:34fixed right now. That's what I see with
35:35so many people who come into the rooms.
35:37They want to fix everything right now.
35:39It's the whole one day at a time, but
35:41one problem at a time as well. I always
35:43advise people like get a list of
35:44everything that you want to fix. Like
35:46you want to rebuild the finances, you
35:47want to rebuild the trust, you want to
35:49make up for lost time with with kids,
35:51parents, whoever. It can't all be done
35:53instantly. You've got I say put them in
35:55priority order and attack one of them.
35:57Attack them one at a time. And again,
35:59just one day at a time. Break it down,
36:01keep it simple. What I struggled with
36:03early on, I moved to Australia to to be
36:06with my wife, she's an Aussie. And when
36:07I first moved here, I was able like I
36:10had my finances, she had no looking at
36:12my finances, so I was able to like treat
36:14her to to things and I loved that that
36:16sort of being a man of mystery, her not
36:18knowing how much this treat cost. Of
36:20course, once the addiction started, it
36:22was it was Groupon's. I'd be lucky if I
36:23could afford a Groupon for it. Like you
36:25said, two meals for 10 like it got to
36:27that point.
36:28But, part of my recovery was being
36:31transparent with my wife, so she
36:32controlled all my finances.
36:34And I found that really hard that like I
36:36I wasn't that man of mystery anymore.
36:37She can see exactly what's coming in,
36:39what's going out. And I really struggled
36:41with that. Now, 4 and 1/2 years into my
36:42recovery, she still controls my finances
36:44and I'm completely fine with that.
36:47Tell me how important transparency has
36:49been for you with your wife to help
36:52repair that relationship across the last
36:54uh years.
36:55>> She, as you said, she kept an eye on the
36:57finances and looking at bank statements.
37:00And that's quite unique cuz a lot of
37:01people in like GA and stuff, they like
37:04like you said, hand your finances over.
37:06We never did that. Um I still had access
37:08to my own finances, but that was a way
37:11of me building up the trust. Like she
37:13could look at it whenever she wanted to.
37:15Like if she, you know, if she didn't
37:17trust something that I said, I had to
37:18like prove it. Like I've I've bought
37:20petrol with this money or I had you
37:22know, I had receipts. I had evidence of
37:24what I'd I'd spent the money on. The
37:26trust, uh gaining the trust was like the
37:28hardest like thing. It was not as I said
37:31like I said earlier, it's not just like
37:32the money that was lost. It was the the
37:35lies, the deceit. That took such a long
37:37time to like get back. And also there's
37:39as I said, the wife with the resentment.
37:41We couldn't have holidays. We you know,
37:43couldn't take out any like credit at
37:45that time as well. If I I can remember
37:47like needing to I I changed jobs and um
37:50I used to have a company car and I
37:52needed to have my own car, but I had no
37:53credit to like finance it. So, I had to
37:56use my wife's I had to use her name to
37:58finance the car. Yeah, she's been
38:00incredible really to like like stick by
38:02me and
38:03and support me and with like me going to
38:05meetings every week. And gradually as as
38:08as I said, as the time went, like build
38:10trust again by being truthful, being
38:12honest just about everything like in
38:15life. Like, you know, when you're on
38:17your phone like if she's
38:19suspicious of something like showing her
38:21um showing my phone what I'm actually
38:23like doing, just being like more
38:24transparent. Just Just being honest. You
38:26find yourself like in addiction, you
38:28just like lie about like anything. You
38:30should be like, "Oh, did you have that
38:32chocolate bar out of the fridge?" And
38:33like you'll be going, "No, I didn't have
38:35it." Because you're so used and it
38:37it was you, did it? But you're so used
38:39to lying and deceiving. You just lie
38:41about anything. It's just like the most
38:43stupidest things that you don't need to
38:45lie about. You just lie. It's It's
38:47changing that mindset. You just find
38:49yourself just like your character of
38:51just literally hiding, lying, cheating.
38:53That That's the hardest thing to to
38:56change.
38:57>> So, we we spoke at the start. You've
38:58You've mentioned your your two daughters
39:00so far in the the episode. We spoke at
39:02the start. You've You've got a third
39:04daughter. You spoke about the the
39:06struggles with the milk intolerance with
39:08your with your second one. And how
39:10whilst that was in the midst of your
39:12addiction, so your reaction was escape,
39:14like go and gamble. When your third
39:16daughter was born, you were a couple of
39:17years into recovery. Was there any
39:19challenges there? Was there any
39:21temptation that you you had to to work
39:23through?
39:23>> She was born during COVID. Yeah, that
39:26was a tough time
39:27because the other two children were
39:31being tutored from from home. It was a
39:33tough time. And if I had have still been
39:37in my addiction then, it would have just
39:39been I would have just been back
39:40straight into it. Straight I would have
39:42just used it as an an escapism. But
39:44because I'd had a few years off by this
39:46point, she was born in 2020. So, my last
39:49bet was 31st of August 2018. 2018. So,
39:54I'd had a while off then. And obviously
39:57could deal with it a lot better than
39:59what I did with the other two. Um, I can
40:01just remember being a lot more present
40:03with the third, being there to actually
40:05help emotionally with like my wife. I
40:07wasn't there before. She was doing it
40:08all on her own. It was, yeah, much much
40:11better experience with the third when my
40:12third one was born.
40:14>> You've spoken awful a about it not just
40:16being about the money, the finance
40:18finances that you've lost. It's the the
40:20time that you've lost, the trust issues
40:22that you have to repair and stuff with
40:23your wife. You spoke about at the start,
40:25your two oldest ones, their younger
40:27years, you missed out a lot because you
40:28weren't physically there, but mentally
40:30your your head was was thinking of that
40:32next bet. Do you still have a bit of
40:34guilt around missing out on those
40:36younger years? And if so, how have you
40:38processed that in your recovery?
40:40>> Yeah, I do. I like I was saying about
40:42the start, like the things like the
40:43bedtime stories,
40:45being there on my phone. Now, when I do
40:47the bedtime stories with my my third
40:49child, I make sure that I put the phone
40:51down and she there I am actually
40:53present. I mean, through all three of my
40:55children, I used to have a day off
40:56during the week and I used to take them
40:58to a play group. I stuck with that with
41:00my third child like that that was like
41:02so important to actually have that one
41:04day a week where you get to like spend
41:06just time to bond, but you know, I'll
41:09never get that that time back. Um those
41:11years at the at the start and there was,
41:13you know, I think my wife feels a lot of
41:15resentment still because of that because
41:18she was going through postnatal
41:19depression as well during the seconds
41:22and obviously I just she was doing it
41:24all on her own. I wasn't there. So, I I
41:26feel, you know, I do feel a lot of
41:27resentment. Over the last few years that
41:29I have become a better person and you
41:32know, I try and help around the house
41:34and do and do jobs and and we're a
41:37partnership now, whereas before we
41:39weren't.
41:40>> Almost eight years now into recovery,
41:44what's been
41:46the best part? Like what's improved most
41:49in your life across those eight years?
41:51>> There's lots of things, but like just
41:53that that thing of just getting up like
41:55in the morning with like a clear head
41:57and not having to like worry about how
42:00much money that and how much where
42:01you're going to get that that that money
42:03back that you've just lost. You've just
42:04got a clear head. You've got the you can
42:06have ambition. You There's just being
42:08present and being there
42:11uh in the moment is mostly like the most
42:13important thing. And now actually having
42:17money again that we can have holidays,
42:19we had our first holiday as a family
42:21abroad last year. We've never been
42:24abroad at all since having children. So,
42:27that was like a magical moment for like
42:29us and the and the kids that your hard
42:31work it just proves that by just working
42:34hard that you can have these things. And
42:37you don't need to have it through
42:38through gambling. So, that was that was
42:40a big thing. And just like going out and
42:43for days out now and like actually
42:45paying for it with your own money rather
42:47than money that you'd actually you can
42:49you have to justify winning money to
42:52justify these things that you want to go
42:54and do. It's just that and just just
42:56being at peace with myself now as well.
42:59>> Love hearing about that that family
43:01holiday, mate. And congratulations on
43:03like it [clears throat] sounds weird on
43:04achieving that. Congratulations on on
43:06making that happen. Like you said, it's
43:08all those one day at a time gradual
43:11improvements, those one day at a time
43:12commitments of doing the next right
43:14thing and eventually you get you get to
43:16that point where I just I love that I
43:18love all all five of you is going away
43:19together, mate. Congratulations. And you
43:22mentioned bedtime stories there as well.
43:23Like that's so important to me now. I
43:26don't take my phone in the room. Not
43:28like not only because not gambling, just
43:30like no social media, no no YouTube
43:32distraction. Just I'm literally in the
43:34room with my two girls. They come in
43:35with with a book each and we read them
43:37books. And sometimes I'm knackered and
43:39I'm just like I just want to go to bed.
43:41I'm like, "Stop. Stop read Stop touching
43:43the pages. Let me read the book." But as
43:45soon as it's done, I'm like, "I'm so
43:47glad I was there. They're going to
43:48remember this when they're older. I'm
43:50going [clears throat] to have that
43:51connection with them. They're going to
43:52remember their dad was there four or
43:54five nights a week reading that book."
43:55And I love that I'm able to do that. If
43:57I was gambling, like we spoke about,
43:59your head just isn't there. Your your
44:01brain is is somewhere else. I love
44:04everything that you've you've going for
44:05you now, mate. Right, I'm going to ask
44:07you a few quick-fire questions before I
44:08let you go. I think I know the answer.
44:10Whilst you were in your addiction, who
44:12[clears throat] did you hurt the most?
44:14>> Myself and my wife.
44:16>> And I've never heard anyone say myself
44:18until an interview I did yesterday and
44:21now you've done it. It's two for two and
44:23it got me thinking about it as well. I
44:25was like, I was the person that I hurt
44:27the most. Like the damage that I did to
44:29myself, it's incredible. So, I'm I'm
44:31glad I'm glad I've I've had that answer
44:32again. Is there a part of gambling that
44:35you miss?
44:36>> Definitely. Like I enjoyed it. Everybody
44:38who can gamble, like you wish you could
44:40gamble normally. It was a fun thing to
44:43do. You know, if you won, you know, it
44:46was such a high. You know, yeah. I do if
44:48I could gamble normally, responsibly,
44:51then yeah, I'd love to be able to gamble
44:54cuz it was it was such an enjoyable like
44:55thing, but yeah, that's the only thing I
44:57do miss about it, but everything else,
44:59no.
45:00>> What did gambling promise you?
45:02And what did it actually give you?
45:04>> Gambling promised me everything. It
45:06gambled, promised me, as I said,
45:08promised me that I didn't need to work
45:09again. It promised me money. It promised
45:12me holidays. It promised me everything.
45:14Like everything that I wanted. But the
45:17reality is it gave me nothing. Gave me
45:19nothing but misery. Took everything
45:21away. Took my family away. Took my all
45:23my interests away. It took far more away
45:26from me than it ever gave me.
45:28>> Nothing but misery. There's the title of
45:30your episode. Last one.
45:32Matt,
45:33do you regret your addiction?
45:35>> That's a really good question. I'm going
45:37to answer it yes and no to that.
45:40Because yes, I regret the addiction of
45:43what it done to me at the time and
45:45person it made me then.
45:47And the lost time and the the lying, the
45:50cheating that I done. But I don't regret
45:53since like recovery because it's made me
45:56a better person, a stronger person, more
45:57resilient person. And without that that
46:00setback and things like that, a lot of
46:02the character traits which I had, I
46:04wouldn't have worked on. Yeah, there's
46:06two answers to that.
46:08>> I've partnered with Incremental, a brand
46:10new recovery supporter, and I'm now
46:12serving as a coach [music] inside their
46:14platform. I'm in there supporting people
46:15in the hard moments, helping build
46:17accountability. The best part is they've
46:19given me a special offer for my
46:21community. Use my code Daniel, d a n i e
46:24l, when you sign up [music] to the
46:26annual plan, and you'll get 3 months
46:28completely free, which basically means a
46:3090-day free trial. You shouldn't have to
46:32do this alone, and that's where
46:33Incremental comes in. Join through the
46:35details in the description below, and
46:37you'll get exclusive access to me, along
46:39with access to all the amazing recovery
46:42support tools that are there 24/7 for
46:45you to use.
46:45>> Uh I sitting on the fence is not an
46:47acceptable answer, so I'm not taking
46:49that. So, we're going to get rid of that
46:50one. No. I'm only messing me. Matt,
46:53thank you so much for giving me your
46:55time today. Thank you for taking me on
46:57that roller coaster of of emotions,
46:59taking me through your journey. Is there
47:02anything about your addiction or your
47:04recovery that I haven't asked you today?
47:05>> The message that I just want to like
47:07give to the other people is who are out
47:09there like suffering, and they can
47:11relate to what I've just said is
47:13is, you know, just please, please like
47:15reach out. You know, we know that it's
47:17an actual illness. It's gambling is a is
47:19a mental illness. Can't just stop with
47:22just by telling yourself you're going to
47:23stop. You need to get help, so you know,
47:26if if this video like inspires anybody
47:28who's out there who's struggling at the
47:29moment, you know, there's GA meetings
47:31out there, there's help out. I've
47:33recently joined up with ex-footballer
47:36Peter Shilton and his wife, who he had a
47:38major gambling addiction, and I've now
47:40become an an ambassador to that charity,
47:42so I I give my time back now to help
47:45others.
47:46And as I said, yeah, if I can help
47:49anybody through this video, just my
47:51story, then
47:52that that will be great, even if I just
47:53help one person.
47:54>> Amazing. That's why we do it.
47:56Thanks, mate. Guys, anyone who wants to
47:59find out more about Matt, the work
48:01Matt's doing with the Peter Shilton
48:02Foundation, check the video description
48:04out below. There's going to be a link
48:06there to Matt's LinkedIn and some of the
48:08posts around that Peter Shilton one. If
48:11you've got time for another episode,
48:12there's a video on the screen right now
48:14of me sitting down with another amazing,
48:16heart-wrenching story of somebody's
48:20harrowing gambling journey, but how they
48:22found their way out and the inspiration
48:24that you can, too. Thanks for being
48:25here.

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