The Most Valuable 20 Minutes You'll Spend Today | Matthew McConaughey Motivation. — Transcript

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1. 0:00called him at 7:36 p.m. I remember the
2. 0:03number. Hey, pop. Hey, what's up, monkey
3. 0:05man? Listen, can I talk about something?
4. 0:07Sure. Said, "Dad,
5. 0:10I don't want to go to law school
6. 0:12anymore. I want to go to film school."
7. 0:14Little beat of sweat [music] starts to
8. 0:16go down the back of my neck. I'm like,
9. 0:17"Here it comes. You want to what?" I
10. 0:20thought he was going to go into other
11. 0:21stuff about like my you think I'm being
12. 0:24that you know that can be a hobby, but
13. 0:26that's not a drill job. I thought all
14. 0:27this was coming. And [music] after about
15. 0:29a 5second pause, he goes, I hear this.
16. 0:32Are you sure that's what you want to do?
17. 0:34Yes, sir. Then I hear, well,
18. 0:37[clears throat]
19. 0:39don't half it. In the way he said don't
20. 0:42half it was also, okay, let's go, big
21. 0:46boy. Own that. [music] Put some
22. 0:48leverage. Get some horsepower behind
23. 0:50where you're going. Go do it. If you're
24. 0:52going to do it, [music]
25. 0:54do it.
26. 0:56Say what you can do. [music] Do what you
27. 1:00say. If you can't do it, don't say you
28. 1:02can do it. Don't overlever yourself.
29. 1:03Don't overleverage a decision and then
30. 1:05jump in and kind of dip a toe. I think
31. 1:07I'll try it out. No. Think if you're
32. 1:09going to try it out beforehand, but when
33. 1:10it's time to go, dive, finish it, find
34. 1:12out. Come out the other side. Don't
35. 1:15leave it and go,
36. 1:18if I just would. Uh-uh. That keeps me up
37. 1:20at night. I think it keeps a lot of us
38. 1:21up at night when you half something and
39. 1:23you just don't know whether you failed
40. 1:25or succeeded, got what you want or
41. 1:27didn't get what you want. Finding out
42. 1:29and looking in the mirror and going, I
43. 1:32didn't have it. I said, I went all the
44. 1:34way. I found out and that ain't for me.
45. 1:36Or I found out and you damn right
46. 1:37[music] that is for me. That's a great
47. 1:39place to get to. Let's go to the dream.
48. 1:41Let's flip that script.
49. 1:43I always have gone from [music]
50. 1:44non-fiction to say let's make that the
51. 1:46dream. Just keep living. Art emulates
52. 1:48[music] life. So I flipped it and said
53. 1:50let's go to dreams. Let's go to pray
54. 1:52poems, prayers. These [music] are
55. 1:54pursuits of an ideal beauty. These are
56. 1:56in between the lines. This is in between
57. 1:58the math. This is not academic. This is
58. 2:00not intellectual. These [music] are
59. 2:01ideals that we pursue. The beginner's
60. 2:03mind that we have as a child before we
61. 2:05know worse. And I don't want to be
62. 2:07ignorant. I don't want to be foolishly
63. 2:08optimistic. Let's look to those and
64. 2:10believe that we can still [music] make
65. 2:11those real. I grew up only knowing sort
66. 2:14of the courage of the persistent.
67. 2:16[music] You're resilient. Endure. Get
68. 2:18up. Dust yourself off. go. The problem
69. 2:21with that, the Achilles heel with that
70. 2:22is [music]
71. 2:23if you get up and you have the courage
72. 2:24to keep on going every time you get up
73. 2:27and dust yourself off, [music] you make
74. 2:30the same mistakes each time around cuz
75. 2:32you never backed off to have what I've
76. 2:34now learned and still learning is the
77. 2:36courage [music] to go, "No, I'm going to
78. 2:38let some people pass me in the race
79. 2:39right now cuz I'm going to look at why I
80. 2:40keep stepping in [music] that damn same
81. 2:41pothole and twisting my ankle. The same
82. 2:43spot.
83. 2:45why I keep failing when I try to get
84. 2:48that next spot in this relationship or
85. 2:50failing [music] in this place to get
86. 2:52this product of my craft to the next.
87. 2:54There is a unique sort of circle of hell
88. 2:59that is [music] reserved for when you
89. 3:02keep on making the same mistake over and
90. 3:04over again [music] that you've done it.
91. 3:07You've had to pay the penance, say that
92. 3:09you're sorry, and then arrive straight
93. 3:12back at the [music] same place. Yeah. I
94. 3:14think there's a hell in the mirror,
95. 3:17then I think it can [music] become a
96. 3:18living hell. Like I I kept that poem in
97. 3:20their daymares.
98. 3:21>> I love that one. [music]
99. 3:23>> I do too. You know, night nightmares
100. 3:24suck, but at least you wake up.
101. 3:26>> Mhm.
102. 3:26>> And they're [music] over. It's the ones
103. 3:28that stick with you when you wake up and
104. 3:29go through your day that are right
105. 3:31there. Those are [music] the ones.
106. 3:32That's the living hell. You repeat
107. 3:33offend enough.
108. 3:36Word gets out, the circles gets out. You
109. 3:39people doubt you on your approach.
110. 3:41They're like, "Yeah, but don't do this."
111. 3:43You know, I mean, all of a sudden,
112. 3:45you're going places and you got to look
113. 3:47over your shoulder. You got to see who's
114. 3:50there that I didn't pay back. Who do I
115. 3:51owe? What bridge did I burn? What person
116. 3:53did I betray to get where I am? That's a
117. 3:55life. That's a living hell. Well, forget
118. 3:56that. That
119. 3:58in the modern world, you can move from
120. 4:00city to city. Uh, at least you can in
121. 4:03some regard leave your reputation
122. 4:05behind. However, if you lose your
123. 4:08reputation with [music] yourself,
124. 4:10>> if you no longer trust you. Yep. I don't
125. 4:13keep my own word. I know that I'm not a
126. 4:15trustworthy person. I keep making
127. 4:16promises to myself and to other people
128. 4:17and I keep on breaking them. I keep
129. 4:20doing something that hurts other people
130. 4:23or the same person.
131. 4:25They don't trust me anymore. And [music]
132. 4:28oh, I don't trust me anymore. If I said
133. 4:31I can't, my dad's [music] teeth would
134. 4:34just start to go.
135. 4:35[clears throat and cough]
136. 4:36Excuse me. You sure you're not just
137. 4:38having trouble? I remember this one time
138. 4:41I was going out to do my chores Saturday
139. 4:43morning to mow the lawn and I I couldn't
140. 4:45get the damn lawn [music] mower to
141. 4:46start. Checked everything, couldn't get
142. 4:48it to start. I'm going inside. I said,
143. 4:49"Dad, can you help me out? I I can't get
144. 4:51the lawnmower [music] started." And he
145. 4:52turned around, saw his m.
146. 4:55And he got up, walked with me through
147. 4:58the kitchen, through the garage, out the
148. 4:59backyard, [music] went to the lawnmower,
149. 5:00messed around, pulled a couple things
150. 5:02out. After about 10 minutes, boom,
151. 5:05cranked it. And while the lawnmower was
152. 5:08running right there,
153. 5:10he came over to me and bent down and
154. 5:12looked me in the eye. He goes, [music]
155. 5:13"See, son, you were just having trouble.
156. 5:16>> Be less impressed and more involved."
157. 5:18>> More involved. Yeah.
158. 5:19>> What What did you mean by that? And
159. 5:20where did that come from?
160. 5:21>> It came from We grew up hardcore on
161. 5:24gratitude. I'm I'm a very thankful guy.
162. 5:27And and being thankful and having
163. 5:28gratitude is very important, but you
164. 5:31can't stop [music] there because too
165. 5:33much just, oh, I'm so happy to be here.
166. 5:37You're so impressed to be here. Thank
167. 5:39you for having me, which we should have.
168. 5:41But if you live only there, I can't
169. 5:44even, we can't be present and be
170. 5:46involved in whatever we're doing and do
171. 5:48it as well as we want to do it. You got
172. 5:49to go, no, thank you for letting me be
173. 5:51here and I'm supposed [music] to be
174. 5:52here. Now, let's go. If I'm even talking
175. 5:54to you, if I'm here going, "Man, I'm so
176. 5:56happy to be here." If I'm just happy to
177. 5:58be here and go no further than that, I
178. 6:00can't have we can't have this
179. 6:02conversation. I'm I'm not I'm not I
180. 6:04won't be there yet. I can't be grounded
181. 6:06enough to have have it right here. I'd
182. 6:08be like, I'd anticipate my thoughts. I',
183. 6:10[music] you know, say something that may
184. 6:12is only the pretty stuff and not the
185. 6:14ugly stuff or oh, I don't want to be
186. 6:15mean. So, to be involved allowed me to
187. 6:18be more honest and have more courage.
188. 6:19[music] when we're involved, we're more
189. 6:21honest and have more courage to do what
190. 6:23we're fashioned to do. How life was
191. 6:25nothing but green lights and we didn't
192. 6:27have yellows and reds, things that make
193. 6:29us pause, hardships, crisises, times for
194. 6:31[music] introspection. Then what the
195. 6:33hell would it all be for? We need the
196. 6:35yellows and the reds. That's how we
197. 6:38evolve. That's how hopefully there's
198. 6:40some ascension to our being. That's how
199. 6:43we give some credit to time and growing
200. 6:45older. If we were the same person today
201. 6:47that we were 20 years ago, then what? I
202. 6:49mean, what the hell are we doing? If
203. 6:50anything, I would say to my 15-year-old
204. 6:53self, go fail more. [music]
205. 6:56If anything, I would say to you, go fail
206. 6:58more. Forget them. Those people on the
207. 6:59sideline that are saying the thumbs down
208. 7:02or calling you something or being
209. 7:04snarky, they're on the sidelines for a
210. 7:06reason.
211. 7:08>> You've got this great line where you
212. 7:09say, "So many people are obsessed with
213. 7:10how to live longer instead of how to
214. 7:12live better."
215. 7:12>> Yeah.
216. 7:13>> How do you come to think about that?
217. 7:15>> I'm for it. The longevity. I'm [music]
218. 7:17I'm for it. But in in the pursuit of it,
219. 7:21are we measuring quality of life on
220. 7:23along the way? Some people aren't. And I
221. 7:26personally don't want to have the
222. 7:28highest number, but then go
223. 7:31that wasn't any fun or I didn't enjoy
224. 7:33that or that [music] sucked. Profit
225. 7:35measures quality with the quantity. So
226. 7:38I'm saying real success is when you have
227. 7:40profit. Well, really great longevity
228. 7:43would be to for those quality years,
229. 7:46[music] quality time left in this life.
230. 7:48Um, I also say that because while I'm
231. 7:50not looking forward to it, I'm not
232. 7:52really afraid of death or dying. Not
233. 7:55looking forward to it.
234. 7:57Shaking my boots if I'm face to face
235. 7:59with that great white, you know what I
236. 8:01mean? I'm not looking forward to it. But
237. 8:04I see it as a obviously it's inevitable
238. 8:06and obviously I I personally [music] see
239. 8:08it as a hopefully a comma,
240. 8:10>> you know?
241. 8:11Not a period.
242. 8:12>> Mhm.
243. 8:13>> Tomorrow is not [music] today's
244. 8:14measurement when the misery is bad
245. 8:16enough, right? These people don't have
246. 8:19to the suffering
247. 8:21consideration [music]
248. 8:23is a it's a privilege, man. I'm trying
249. 8:24to put food on the table right now and
250. 8:26pay my rent tonight. You want to talk to
251. 8:27me about investing in my [music] future?
252. 8:29Well, you
253. 8:31and I say, and that's part of what faith
254. 8:33and religion are for, to help those in
255. 8:35misery hang on to a hope that will most
256. 8:37likely not be served them in this life.
257. 8:39[music] to sell them belief and faith
258. 8:41that they will be served in the next.
259. 8:45And what if there is nothing there, man?
260. 8:47What if there's nothing to hope for?
261. 8:48What if there's no next? I don't know.
262. 8:52But either way, in misery here or
263. 8:55without a heaven there, not having any
264. 8:57hope or faith in anything is a certain
265. 8:59way to remain where you are forever. But
266. 9:02if you can find something that you
267. 9:04[music] can keep going,
268. 9:06something that no matter how small to
269. 9:07look forward to and continually [music]
270. 9:09have faith in and chase, well then your
271. 9:11life here is going to be better now,
272. 9:14heaven or not.
273. 9:15>> What about love?
274. 9:17>> We always knew we [music] were loved.
275. 9:19There's never a question that we were
276. 9:21loved as as loving our each other,
277. 9:25loving mom and dad, being loved by mom
278. 9:27and dad, and make and mom would always
279. 9:30keep on make sure you're [music] loving
280. 9:31yourself.
281. 9:33I remember breakups, heartbroken. She'd
282. 9:36let she'd [music] let us mourn. She was
283. 9:38a great ear, very sensitive ear to that
284. 9:41kind of to pains [music] like that,
285. 9:42broken hearts, but only for a day. After
286. 9:46a day, she'd crank up the [music] AC/DC,
287. 9:49man, and go like, "Now, get up. You're
288. 9:53worth it." Her loss. Come on. Get
289. 9:56[snorts] out of bed. Uh-uh. Come on.
290. 9:58Uh-uh. Quit smoking. Lift your head up.
291. 9:59Come on. Come on, buddy. We got this.
292. 10:00Uh-uh. Her loss. Woo. To give you the
293. 10:02day, no more than that. Hustle, hustle,
294. 10:05hustle. Sleep was sin in my household.
295. 10:10Sin. I saw my dad asleep one time in my
296. 10:12life. There's a fierce sense of [music]
297. 10:14independence. Hour 30 minutes TV a night
298. 10:17max. Mom would always say, "Why are you
299. 10:19going to watch someone doing something
300. 10:20when you can go out in the world and do
301. 10:21it [music] yourself? Turn that damn
302. 10:22thing off. Get outside." Had to be
303. 10:24outside. Like, go get out in the world.
304. 10:27Go hustle. Figure it out. Be home with
305. 10:29dark. [music] And I was like, "Time to
306. 10:31become a man." Walk forward peripheral
307. 10:34[music] vision. Get it. Own yourself.
308. 10:38Walk forward with more [music] courage
309. 10:39and start becoming the man you want to
310. 10:41be instead of acting like it and putting
311. 10:43it off.
312. 10:44>> I think in life you want to be finding
313. 10:45people that believe in you more than you
314. 10:47believe in you that hold you to higher
315. 10:49standards.
316. 10:50>> I think that's the definition of a good
317. 10:51friend. I think that's the definition of
318. 10:53a good of a [music] good partner, a good
319. 10:55definition of a good husband, wife, you
320. 10:58know, that they remind us of the best of
321. 11:00ourselves. [music]
322. 11:01They shine that light and remind us cuz
323. 11:04we do. I know I do. It gets put put the
324. 11:07blinds on it and I don't see it.
325. 11:09>> What do you wish more people knew about
326. 11:11the price of success in life? [music]
327. 11:16>> Success has taken on different
328. 11:18definitions
329. 11:20over time.
330. 11:22It used to have to do used have to do
331. 11:24with integrity. Um or that actually I
332. 11:27think was a word that was in the
333. 11:28definition in 1901 or 11. Um and now you
334. 11:34know money, fame, that's [music] your
335. 11:37definition of success. So it seems to be
336. 11:40that and always has been to some extent.
337. 11:43Whoever has more it's most successful.
338. 11:45More access, more money, you're the
339. 11:46winner. I'm not saying it's a it's it's
340. 11:48[music] a race to the red light, but I
341. 11:50am saying the fourth quarter of that
342. 11:51being your goal, the residuals decline
343. 11:55[music]
344. 11:56on quality of life. I've met many more
345. 12:00very rich
346. 12:02men who've chased that dollar to be
347. 12:04successful [music] and to be relevant
348. 12:06for having the most money that the last
349. 12:0915,
350. 12:1120, even younger years were bewildered,
351. 12:16[music] lost, had no relationships,
352. 12:19didn't have purpose. Chasing the dollar
353. 12:21day, they just did it. They were good at
354. 12:22it and made it happen, but they didn't
355. 12:24[music] feel what they were doing. they
356. 12:25couldn't even necessarily say what they
357. 12:27were really good at. Just good
358. 12:28dealmakers or made the right calls in
359. 12:30certain mathematics. But that's
360. 12:33definition. Um it's also why I wasn't
361. 12:36surprised when Trump first got elected.
362. 12:39Had fame, money. We sell that every day
363. 12:43in the West as this [music] is how you
364. 12:45make it. That's America. That's America.
365. 12:48If success
366. 12:51is the key, [music] if success is the
367. 12:53measurement and you can get it by lying,
368. 12:56cheating, and stealing and still be
369. 12:59rewarded the gold medal,
370. 13:02we that's what's happening. Are we are
371. 13:03we are we ready to say that's okay?
372. 13:05[music] Are we ready to say that's just
373. 13:07how it is? We have leaders in positions
374. 13:09now that are saying, "Yeah, [music] just
375. 13:11win."
376. 13:13Well, just just win. Just succeed. But
377. 13:16yeah, I don't care how you get there.
378. 13:18You did it. Congratulations. [music]
379. 13:19Come to the front of the line.
380. 13:22So, what are the ethics? I don't know.
381. 13:23What' the winner do? Well, but they
382. 13:26wait. What about What about rules? Oh,
383. 13:28yeah. By the way, the rules, if you
384. 13:29follow them, you're a sucker. [music]
385. 13:33I started to find myself going, "No,
386. 13:35wait a minute.
387. 13:38I'm not ready to say,
388. 13:41that's just how it is. I'm interested in
389. 13:43so [music]
390. 13:44many things that my hunch is to not take
391. 13:47on more campfires, but to keep putting
392. 13:50logs on the fires that I've built. And
393. 13:52to do that, the clouds that come with
394. 13:55fall
395. 13:57just nip ambition in the bud just a
396. 14:00little bit. They put a little bit of
397. 14:02roof. I kind of like I'm not as big of a
398. 14:05fan of the 30ft [music] vault ceiling
399. 14:06right now. I I like that 10footer, that
400. 14:098-footer. I feel ambitious [music]
401. 14:12looking laterally instead of God the
402. 14:15four dimensionally. I'm
403. 14:19looking for the [music] dreams and the
404. 14:20poems and the prayers
405. 14:23to become the [music] reality and I'm I
406. 14:26like a little bit of shade.
407. 14:27>> What's the difference between a nice guy
408. 14:29and a good man?
409. 14:30>> A nice guy gets along. Yeah, do that.
410. 14:34Yeah, I'll do that. They don't
411. 14:35necessarily have discernment [music] or
412. 14:36judgment. Not sure what they stand for
413. 14:37or stand against. It's like Yes. Yes.
414. 14:40Yes. Sure. Yeah. Hey, a good man has
415. 14:43ideals that they stand for and they'll
416. 14:45stand against [music] and when they're
417. 14:46tested,
418. 14:48a good man is not a nice guy. I didn't
419. 14:50want to keep forgiving [music] myself on
420. 14:52Sunday and then repeat and do the same
421. 14:54again Monday, Tuesday, Friday and then
422. 14:56go, "Ah, now I can be [music] forgiven."
423. 14:57I was like, "No, man. Forgive me,
424. 14:59father. I know what I'm doing and I'm
425. 15:02keep doing it."
426. 15:04Cut the MCA. Quit giving yourself that
427. 15:06out, that parachute. Even though you may
428. 15:08have it, even though word says grace of
429. 15:11God will forgive you, you need [music]
430. 15:13to I need to strongarm myself, put my
431. 15:16damn hands on the wheel, look in the
432. 15:17mirror, and go, "It's on you." Cuz it
433. 15:19is. And if you forgive me and you
434. 15:21believe that I mean, I I I'm truly
435. 15:24sorry, I'm [music]
436. 15:27do my best not to ever do that again. If
437. 15:28you believe that and then you forgive
438. 15:29me, first order of business is for me to
439. 15:34change the behavior that I have so I
440. 15:37don't have to come say sorry to you
441. 15:38again. That I think we miss [music]
442. 15:40sometimes that sometimes people go, I'm
443. 15:42sorry, forgiven. Oh, cool. We're even.
444. 15:44All right, back to it. And all of a
445. 15:46sudden you're like, you did it again,
446. 15:47dude. [laughter]
447. 15:49Have a little rule. I thought you were
448. 15:50going to course correct. You know, I've
449. 15:52got to course correct the offender's
450. 15:54first the first order of business for
451. 15:56the offender to go, [clears throat] I'm
452. 15:57going to do what I can not to have to
453. 15:58say I'm sorry to you again. I got to
454. 15:59forgive [music]
455. 16:00that deed,
456. 16:03that person for that deed. And [music]
457. 16:05again, not necessarily trust them, but
458. 16:08do my best to forgive them. And that can
459. 16:09take me a while. And I think who [music]
460. 16:12takes me the most time to to to forgive
461. 16:15the betrayal is [music]
462. 16:18me. When and if I betray myself,
463. 16:21forgiven myself, we forgive too quickly.
464. 16:25We dust [music] resilient. We hop up and
465. 16:27dust oursel off and go, "Forgive you.
466. 16:29Let's do it again." We do become repeat
467. 16:31offenders because we didn't take the
468. 16:33time to put oursel or feel the guilt of
469. 16:35the wrongdoing and pay a little penance
470. 16:36[music] to look at and go, I don't want
471. 16:39to feel this again.
472. 16:41I don't want to do that action again to
473. 16:42make myself feel this way. I don't it
474. 16:45doesn't it doesn't feel like me. I don't
475. 16:46want to I don't want that person to have
476. 16:49that [music] sadness or anger with me
477. 16:50again or the world to have that sadness
478. 16:52and anger from this. I don't want to
479. 16:54feel that again. And that takes some
480. 16:55pause. What's better? Take eight. Take
481. 16:59eight eight big risks in life. Sin once,
482. 17:02miss the mark once, but get seven.
483. 17:03Achieve seven. Seven out of eight. Or
484. 17:05take [music] a 100 risk and achieve
485. 17:07eight of them.
486. 17:10My hunch is that if there's a God, he's
487. 17:12saying go for the hundred [music] and
488. 17:13get eight
489. 17:14>> rather than eight and get seven.
490. 17:15>> Mhm.
491. 17:16>> If you're not take if you're not taking
492. 17:17enough risk to sin [music] or miss the
493. 17:21mark, which is what sin means to fail,
494. 17:25>> what are you doing? Don't come back with
495. 17:26even money. Don't go back with the safe
496. 17:28bets. [music] Life's a mystery going
497. 17:29forward. The science looking back. When
498. 17:31you look back, we all we can all connect
499. 17:33every single dot. It's mathematical,
500. 17:36scientific how we got to this table
501. 17:38right here. [music]
502. 17:40We got plans for this afternoon, but
503. 17:41we're not sure what's going to happen.
504. 17:43>> But everything looking back, it's it's
505. 17:45it's all connected if we go back and
506. 17:47look at it. [music] And there's a whole
507. 17:48lot of I thought that was the end. Well,
508. 17:50it was the end, but it was the beginning
509. 17:52of this thing. [music] or I caught that
510. 17:54red light and therefore made me 60
511. 17:56seconds later to get to that cafe where
512. 17:59I met [music] that movie producer or
513. 18:02that woman who became my wife or
514. 18:03whatever that is. It don't make sense at
515. 18:06the time, but boy, looking back, it's
516. 18:07all [music] a science where I said
517. 18:10self-reliance, it's on me, man. Forget
518. 18:12fate. I'm not relying on God. I ain't
519. 18:13praying for nothing. It's on me.
520. 18:14Responsibility, self-reliance. I believe
521. 18:17that when I came and you need both. And
522. 18:21we Yes, there's a time for it.
523. 18:22Inshallah, God willing, there's a time
524. 18:24for well, if it's supposed to be, it
525. 18:27will be. [music]