The Most Ridiculous War Humans Ever Fought — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00The machine gun rattles in your hands.
2. 0:02Somewhere in the sunburnt  fields ahead - the enemy.
3. 0:05A head rises above the crops.
4. 0:07Then another.
5. 0:08You’re an Australian soldier.
6. 0:10Facing - emus.
7. 0:15Everything Is Falling Apart
8. 0:17It’s 1932, and Australia is  deep in the Great Depression.
9. 0:21In the West, farmers struggle to  grow wheat on dry, unforgiving land.
10. 0:26The government has promised  help, but delivered nothing.
11. 0:29Wheat prices are collapsing.
12. 0:31Many farmers have already left.
13. 0:33Then - it gets worse.
14. 0:3620,000 emus sweep through the  region for water and grain.
15. 0:41It’s paradise for the emus,  but hell for the farmers.
16. 0:45The emus eat the crops, flatten  the fields, tear down fences.
17. 0:49The farmers turn to the government:  They want machine guns - loaded.
18. 0:56Solving Problems with Guns
19. 0:59Under pressure, the Minister of Defence  agrees to step in, deploying - three soldiers.
20. 1:05But that’s it.
21. 1:06The farmers even have to pay for the bullets.
22. 1:09And if the whole thing  backfires, it’s not his problem.
23. 1:12Reporters and cameras show up: If the army is  going to fight Australia's own national symbol,
24. 1:17they might as well film it. The soldiers are sent to Campion,
25. 1:22a remote settlement where large  flocks of emus have gathered.
26. 1:25With them: two machine guns and 10,000 rounds of  ammunition, funded by the local agricultural bank.
27. 1:32The operation is led by Major  Gwynydd Purves Wynne-Aubrey Meredith.
28. 1:37Meredith is a World War I veteran - on paper.
29. 1:41He spent years in a garrison on a remote  island, defending no one against nothing.
30. 1:46When he was sent to Europe in 1918,
31. 1:48he caught mumps, and by the time  he left hospital, the war was over.
32. 1:52But now he gets his chance to fight.
33. 1:56Misinformation quickly takes over reporting  in wartime – even if only against emus.
34. 2:02This is why we’ve partnered with Ground News,
35. 2:04a media literacy tool that helps  you navigate these pitfalls.
36. 2:07With Ground News you can quickly and easily  compare coverage on thousands of stories.
37. 2:13Context on a source’s funding and  how certain sides frame the story
38. 2:16lets you cut through bias to get better  informed on what’s going on in the news.
39. 2:21Try it via the QR code or go  to ground.news/night
40. 2:25Our link below gives you  40% off an unlimited access
41. 2:28subscription and directly supports our channel.
42. 2:31With Ground News, no war party can just feed you  their story - and now back to our frontline!
43. 2:41Nothing Goes to Plan
44. 2:43Meredith wants the farmers to drive the emus  together, so that his men can gun them down.
45. 2:48But the emus have scattered.
46. 2:50He decides to ambush them at  a nearby waterhole at sundown.
47. 2:54It seems like the perfect setup, but…
48. 2:57Feathers fly, some emus fall, but  most are running away, even when hit.
49. 3:02“They can face machine guns with the  invulnerability of tanks,” Meredith reports.
50. 3:07In fact, the emu's thick feathers hide their true  shape, so bullets often just tear through plumage.
51. 3:14And: much of an emu's body is gut,  so hits rarely damage anything vital.
52. 3:20Meredith gets another chance the next day.
53. 3:22A thousand emus approach and stop  in a long line: Perfect targets.
54. 3:27The gun opens fire.
55. 3:29But after a few seconds, it  jams - the emus are safe again.
56. 3:34But it seems as if they’re planning something...
57. 3:39Emu Resistance
58. 3:42They’re now forming small groups, moving quietly  through fields and scrub like trained soldiers.
59. 3:47To the reporters, it looks like  organized guerrilla warfare.
60. 3:51Meredith agrees.
61. 3:52There even seem to be leaders - tall emus,  standing guard while the others feed.
62. 3:58But that’s just normal emu behavior.
63. 4:00And the “leaders” aren’t towering  soldiers, but just larger females.
64. 4:05As the ridicule grows even in parliament,  the government withdraws the soldiers.
65. 4:10When they depart, the emus reappear in  huge flocks as if to bid them farewell.
66. 4:16Then they continue destroying the crops. The farmers direct their fury at the
67. 4:20politicians and a few days later, the  soldiers return – mocked by the public.
68. 4:26But the more people laugh, the more  seriously Meredith seems to take it.
69. 4:29His reports begin to sound like real war reports.
70. 4:33Encounters become battles.
71. 4:35A major success: more than 3,000 emus killed.
72. 4:39No casualties on his side.
73. 4:41The kill count is pure guesswork.
74. 4:44Countless emus remain.
75. 4:45The soldiers are out of ammunition, and the bank won’t pay for more.
76. 4:50And that’s it.
77. 4:51The war is over.
78. 4:53The emus have won.
79. 4:56But out in the fields, things look different.
80. 4:59The farmers take matters into their  own hands - with their old rifles,
81. 5:02new fences and a bounty for every  dead emu, paid by the government.
82. 5:06They succeed.
83. 5:08Meredith doesn’t.
84. 5:09Far away from the fields, he signs up for the  Second World War, but waits for his mission again.
85. 5:15In 1945, he is sent to New  Guinea to fight the Japanese,
86. 5:18but by the time he arrives,  they have just surrendered.
87. 5:22He served in two world wars, but  only fought once – against emus.