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The Most Dangerous Book Ever Written About Human Consciousness — Transcript

by David Bayer · 3,586 words · 586 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Paramahansa Yogananda, the great 20th
0:02century spiritual teacher, once said
0:04that the true spiritual master must
0:06learn to stand unshaken amidst the crash
0:08of breaking [music] worlds. But how the
0:10heck do you actually do that? Well, the
0:12sages understood something
0:13extraordinary. They understood that if
0:15you could learn to stand in the face of
0:17discomfort or uncertainty or challenge
0:19without allowing it to change who you're
0:21being, eventually your presence begins
0:23to transform the challenge itself. But
0:25this creates an incredible paradox
0:27because guys like Napoleon Hill told us
0:29that the starting point of all
0:30achievement is a burning desire. Neville
0:32Goddard taught that you should live as
0:34though what you desire is already done.
0:37So, who's right? These guys or the
0:39Buddha? That's what we're going to
0:41unpack today. And I'm going to break the
0:43law of detachment [music] into three
0:44simple pieces: desire, detachment, and
0:47certainty. Because when you understand
0:49how these three things work together,
0:52you don't have to give up your ambition
0:53or stop wanting more for your life.
0:55[music]
0:55You learn how to pursue what you want
0:57without needing the outside world to
0:59constantly re- assure you that you're
1:00going to get it. So, let's get into it.
1:06All right, guys, the law of detachment.
1:08So, let's start with the very first
1:09piece because I think this is where
1:11people get confused when they first hear
1:13this idea of detachment. They think
1:16detachment means that you just shouldn't
1:18want anything, right? Don't want the
1:20money, don't want the relationship,
1:22don't want the business to succeed,
1:24don't want your circumstances to change.
1:26And this is why so many people who don't
1:28actually have very much and live in this
1:30pseudo spirituality believe that the law
1:33of detachment actually means this. Just
1:36accept everything exactly as it is and
1:38somehow become spiritually indifferent
1:40to your life, that that is a part of the
1:42awakening process. But I do not think
1:45that's what the great teachers were
1:46saying at all. Because desire is a
1:49fundamental part of being human. In
1:51fact, you could argue that desire is one
1:53of the primary mechanisms through which
1:55life moves us forward and consciousness
1:58evolves. Desire is fundamentally the
2:01catalyst for all change. And think about
2:03it. You have a desire to create
2:05something, to experience something, to
2:07become something, and that desire begins
2:09organizing your thoughts, your
2:11attention, your behavior around a new
2:13possibility. And then, unless you get in
2:16your own way, you start taking action
2:18towards that possibility, which creates
2:19an expansion in your life. This is why
2:21Napoleon Hill made desire the starting
2:24point of any achievement. He didn't say
2:25it would be kind of nice if this
2:26happened. He called it a burning desire.
2:30And out of hundreds of the most
2:31successful, wealthy, innovative,
2:33impactful people of his time, a burning
2:35desire was number one on his list of 13
2:38things that the most successful people
2:40in the world all had in common. There
2:42has to be something inside of you that
2:44says,
2:45"This is what I want. This is what I'm
2:47creating. This is where I'm going." And
2:49a lot of people are afraid to actually
2:51do that because they're afraid of
2:52failure. Many people are afraid to
2:54actually declare what they want, but
2:56it's essential because there's
2:57tremendous power in that. So, desire
2:59isn't the problem. The problem is
3:02actually what we do next.
3:05Because very subtly, desire can turn
3:09into need. In other words,
3:11"I want this" becomes "I need this" or
3:15"I need this to happen." And then, "I
3:17need this to happen soon. Why hasn't it
3:20happened yet? What's wrong with me that
3:21it hasn't happened quickly enough? And
3:23then, if this doesn't happen, then I'm
3:26going to experience some sort of pain."
3:28Eventually, there's this idea that I
3:30need this to happen in exactly the way I
3:32think it should happen, or it's going to
3:33fail, and I will be a failure.
3:36So, if you look at how the mind distorts
3:39desire, this is the process, right?
3:42Going from "This would be cool" or
3:44"nice" to "Not having this is the end of
3:47the world."
3:48And now we're no longer talking about
3:49desire. What we're talking about is
3:51attachment.
3:53And there's a very simple way to know
3:54when you've crossed that line. Your
3:57emotional state
3:58starts to become dependent upon the
4:00outcome.
4:02When things appear to be moving toward
4:03what you want, you feel good, right? You
4:05get the client, you feel powerful. The
4:06person texts you back, you feel love.
4:08The investment goes up, you feel secure.
4:10The test result comes back the way that
4:12you wanted, you feel safe.
4:14But then something changes. The client
4:16backs out. They don't text you back. The
4:18market drops. The opportunity
4:19disappears. Something happens inside
4:21your body and suddenly your internal
4:24state changes. You move from a powerful
4:26state to what I would call a primal
4:28state. Stress, anxiety, fear, overwhelm.
4:32Why? Because without realizing it,
4:35you've handed the outside world
4:36authority over how you feel.
4:39And this brings us to the second piece,
4:41which is detachment. This is what I
4:44believe the great spiritual traditions
4:45were actually pointing toward when they
4:47talked about non-attachment. Detachment
4:49doesn't mean I don't care what happens.
4:52It means my well-being is not dependent
4:54upon what happens. And those are two
4:56completely different things. I can
4:58deeply prefer one outcome. I can work
5:00towards it. I can visualize it. I can
5:02pray for it. I can take massive action
5:04towards it. But I don't require reality
5:08to give it to me today in order for me
5:11to remain grounded in who I am. And this
5:12is where this becomes a nervous system
5:15practice rather than just a spiritual
5:17concept. Because anybody can be peaceful
5:20when life is cooperating, right?
5:22>> [laughter]
5:23>> Anybody can have faith when the evidence
5:25supports their faith. Anybody can
5:27believe that everything is working out
5:28when everything appears to be working
5:30out.
5:31But the real work, the practice, begins
5:34when the evidence contradicts you.
5:36That's the moment, right? The deal falls
5:39apart. The relationship ends. The money
5:41isn't there. The launch doesn't work.
5:44Someone criticizes you. Your body
5:45produces a sensation that you don't
5:47understand. You thought you were moving
5:49forward and suddenly it looks like
5:50you've gone backward and your mind
5:52immediately wants to make the event mean
5:55something. Something like this isn't
5:57working.
5:58I'm going backwards. I'm going to lose
6:01everything. I made the wrong decision.
6:03It's never going to happen.
6:05But here's something I've had to learn
6:06in my own life. You don't suffer simply
6:09because reality contradicted your
6:10desire. You suffer because you decided
6:14that contradiction means something. I
6:16want you to think about that. Something
6:18happens and then almost instantaneously
6:21the mind creates a story about what that
6:23event means about your future, about
6:26yourself, about possibilities and
6:28impossibilities and usually we don't
6:30even realize the story is happening
6:32inside of us. We think we're reacting to
6:35reality. We're actually reacting to our
6:38belief about the situation.
6:41Right? We're reacting to our belief
6:42about reality. And this is why
6:44uncertainty is so difficult for the
6:46human nervous system. The nervous system
6:48wants
6:49resolution.
6:51It wants to know, am I safe? Is this
6:53working? Am I going to be okay? And when
6:55it doesn't have an answer,
6:58the primal mind tries to create one.
7:01Usually the worst possible one.
7:03Maybe that's just me. You guys can let
7:05me know in the comments. But what if you
7:07could become aware
7:08of that mechanism and in that awareness
7:12of it stop participating in it?
7:14Like what if the deal falling apart
7:16didn't mean you're failing? What if the
7:19relationship ending didn't mean you'll
7:20be alone forever? What if the setback
7:23didn't mean that you've lost your path?
7:25Or what if the thing that you're calling
7:27the obstacle is actually part of the
7:30path? So you don't know yet.
7:33You ever hear that quote, everything
7:34works out in the end and if it hasn't
7:36worked out yet, it's not the end? Like I
7:38love that. Or the idea that most people
7:40judge the story in the middle of the
7:42chapter
7:43before the story ends. That's where
7:46detachment begins.
7:48So, I don't know if you've ever heard of
7:49the parable of the wise farmer and the
7:51ignorant neighbor. One of my favorites.
7:52In it, there's a wise farmer
7:54and seemingly bad things keep happening
7:57to him. First, his horse runs away, his
7:59prized stallion, and the ignorant
8:00neighbor comes over and says, "Wow, what
8:03a terrible thing that's happened to you.
8:04Your prized stallion just ran away." And
8:06the wise farmer says, "Who knows what's
8:08good or bad?" A few days later, the
8:10horse returns followed by a pack of a
8:12dozen beautiful wild stallions that now
8:15get stabled on the wise farmer's land.
8:17And the ignorant neighbor says, "What an
8:19amazing thing that just happened. Look,
8:20you have 12 new beautiful stallions."
8:22And the farmer, being wise, says, "Who
8:25knows what's good or bad?" A few weeks
8:26later, the wise farmer's son is out
8:28riding one of the wild stallions and it
8:29bucks him and the son ends up breaking
8:31his ankle. And the ignorant neighbor
8:33says, "Oh, what a terrible thing that's
8:35happened to your son." The wise farmer
8:37says, "Who knows what's good or bad?"
8:40And a few weeks later, the military
8:41comes, they round up all the able-bodied
8:43men to go off into a war where all the
8:44men are sure to die. The ignorant
8:46neighbor says, "Oh, look at the luck.
8:48Unbelievable. What a great thing that
8:50your son isn't able to go off to the
8:51battle." And the wise farmer says, "Who
8:54knows what's good or bad?" Now, I'm not
8:56saying this is the most interesting
8:57conversation between this ignorant
8:59neighbor and wise farmer. Sounds pretty
9:00boring to live next to each other.
9:02However, the point is this. Detachment
9:05is the wise farmer.
9:07Your mind is the ignorant neighbor.
9:09Always wanting to judge the story when
9:11you're still in the middle of a chapter.
9:13Non-attachment says, "Who knows what's
9:15good or bad? I'm not going to
9:17immediately enroll myself into the
9:18story. The story is still unfolding and
9:21this is particularly useful when your
9:23mind is giving you a crisis-style
9:25interpretation of your situation, which
9:27is usually what it does." Take a look at
9:29your own mind and your own life for a
9:32second. How often has your mind told you
9:35that some situation or circumstance was
9:39going to have a terrible ending.
9:41And how often did that turn out to
9:43actually be the case?
9:45Like if I had to audit my own life, I'd
9:46say that my mind has tried to convince
9:49me of a bad ending hundreds of thousands
9:53of times. And I can probably count on
9:56both hands the number of times it's been
9:58accurate in its prediction.
10:00And even in those times when I look
10:02back, those bad endings were actually
10:04just part of the process to a good
10:06ending.
10:07In other words, even when the bad thing
10:09I predicted happened, it wasn't the end
10:11of the story.
10:12How crazy is that? And yet,
10:15on a Tuesday, we'll buy into the bad
10:17prediction again.
10:19And this is what I think Yogananda was
10:21pointing towards when he talked about
10:23standing unshaken amidst the crash of
10:25breaking worlds.
10:27The world can still crash. You can still
10:29feel disappointed. You can still feel
10:31fear. You can still have moments where
10:33your nervous system gets activated.
10:35Being unshaken doesn't mean becoming
10:37emotionally numb or perfect in the
10:39management of your emotional state of
10:41your mindset. But you don't surrender
10:43your identity
10:44or your nervous system and what's
10:46possible
10:48to that story. The irony is that when
10:50you maintain your emotional groundedness
10:52or your centeredness or your power,
10:55that's actually the place from which
10:57you're able to transform the problem
10:59into a solution. That's also the place
11:01from which you often allow the problem
11:03itself to transform
11:05even without much effort from you. You
11:07create a space and the right resource
11:10shows up. There's a pause and the money
11:13shows up. A cure shows up. The soulmate
11:16shows up. The new job shows up. Help is
11:18always on the way and when you are
11:20non-attached,
11:22you allow the space for that help to
11:24show up. Maybe it's a new idea. Maybe
11:27it's a new perspective. Maybe it's a
11:29coincidence or a synchronicity. And this
11:30is why the sages understood that your
11:33presence could actually transform the
11:37challenge itself.
11:39When you are able to bear witness to
11:42something that doesn't seem like it's in
11:44alignment with the outcome that you
11:45want,
11:47that thing must bend to your presence
11:50and the problem must evolve and resolve.
11:53But you don't even have to believe that
11:55for this principle to change your life
11:57because the moment you stop needing
11:59reality to be different before you can
12:01be okay, you become radically more
12:03powerful inside of however you define
12:05reality. And now we arrive at the third
12:08piece because there's still a problem.
12:11If I'm detached from the outcome,
12:13what do I believe? Do I just say, "Well,
12:16maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't." And
12:17this is where Neville Goddard comes in.
12:19Neville teaches something that initially
12:21sounds like the exact opposite of
12:23detachment.
12:25He says to assume the feeling of the
12:27wish fulfilled. In other words,
12:30don't experience yourself as somebody
12:31desperately trying to get what you want,
12:33experience yourself as the person for
12:35whom it is already done. And I think
12:38this is where all three teachings
12:39suddenly fit together.
12:41Napoleon Hill gives you the direction
12:43through desire,
12:45Buddha gives you the freedom to allow in
12:48non-attachment,
12:49and Neville gives you the identity to
12:52have.
12:53Because Neville says,
12:55"Become the person who no longer
12:57experiences themselves as lacking the
13:00thing." And this really makes sense
13:01because think about how you behave when
13:04you actually know something is yours.
13:06You don't chase it. You don't
13:08obsessively check for it. You don't wake
13:10up every morning asking whether it's
13:11still coming. Imagine ordering something
13:13online and getting confirmation that
13:14it's arriving tomorrow. You don't spend
13:16the entire night wondering, "Should I
13:18order it again? Maybe I should call
13:19somebody. Maybe I should drive to the
13:21warehouse. Maybe the universe doesn't
13:23want me to have my package." No, you
13:24ordered it
13:25>> [laughter]
13:25>> and you know it's coming.
13:27So, you go live your life.
13:29Right? That's a crude metaphor,
13:30obviously, but the internal state is
13:33what I want you to notice. The certainty
13:36actually allows you to relax. And maybe
13:39this is the great paradox behind
13:40manifestation and achievement and faith
13:42and whatever language you want to use.
13:44We assume that wanting something more
13:46intensely means you should think about
13:48it all the time. You should write it
13:49down on your vision board. You should
13:50say it out loud 10 times a day. But
13:52sometimes the deepest expression of
13:54belief is the willingness to let go and
13:56just assume. Because if you genuinely
13:58believed that your life was unfolding
14:00intelligently, if you genuinely believed
14:02you had the capacity to meet whatever
14:05came, if you genuinely believe that the
14:07setback could become part of the path,
14:10how tightly would you actually need to
14:12grip?
14:14The answer is you wouldn't.
14:16And this is where I would make one
14:18important distinction. Certainty does
14:20not mean I know exactly how this is
14:22going to happen. Certainty means I trust
14:25that whatever is happening here is for
14:27my good, no matter how it ends. That's
14:30completely different.
14:32Maybe the business succeeds exactly as
14:34you envisioned. Maybe the business fails
14:35and leads you to the thing that you're
14:36actually supposed to build. Maybe this
14:38person is your person.
14:40Maybe losing this person forces you to
14:42become the person who can finally
14:43experience the relationship that you've
14:45always wanted. Maybe the door opens.
14:48Maybe the door closes and redirects you.
14:50One of my favorite teachers, Florence
14:52Scovel Shinn, she speaks into this
14:54beautifully. She says,
14:56"God's plans for me are built upon a
14:58rock. What was mine in the beginning is
15:00mine now and ever shall be mine."
15:03That's a write-it-downer.
15:05And at the same time, she also says, "If
15:07it's mine, I can't lose it, and if it's
15:10not mine, I don't want it."
15:12So, now you can understand why
15:14detachment is so powerful.
15:16You're not abandoning the vision. You're
15:18releasing your demand that the path and
15:21the outcome conform to your
15:23expectations. So, how do we actually
15:26practice this? Because it's easy to hear
15:28all of this and say, "Okay, David,
15:29great. I'll I'll just stop being
15:31attached." And I would say, "Well, good
15:32luck with that." Attachment isn't
15:35primarily an intellectual problem. It's
15:37a practiced nervous system response. So,
15:39I want to give you a simple process. The
15:42next time something happens that
15:43triggers you, don't immediately try to
15:45convince yourself that everything is
15:47wonderful. Okay? Instead,
15:50do these three things.
15:52Number one. First,
15:54ask yourself, what do I want?
15:56Return to the desire.
15:58Right? What am I actually creating here?
16:00Not what am I afraid of?
16:03What do I want?
16:05Maybe it's I want a loving relationship.
16:07I want financial freedom. I want this
16:08business to succeed. I want a healthy
16:10body. Great. Own the desire. Don't
16:13apologize for it. Second,
16:16what am I making this mean?
16:19This is the detachment question.
16:21The client backed out. What am I making
16:23that mean? My business is failing. Okay,
16:25is that objectively true? Or is that the
16:28meaning that your primal mind assigned
16:30to an event?
16:31This person didn't call me. I'm being
16:33rejected. Okay, is that a fact or an
16:36interpretation?
16:38Right? The numbers went down. This isn't
16:39working. Again, fact
16:42or story?
16:44Start separating what happened from the
16:46story that you tell, because that little
16:49gap is where your freedom lives.
16:52And the third is a question. Who would I
16:55be if I knew I was going to be okay?
16:58Because that's certainty.
17:00Not what do I need to do to guarantee
17:03the outcome? Who would I be right now if
17:06I knew I was going to be okay?
17:09How would I breathe?
17:10How would I think?
17:12What decision would I make?
17:14Would I send that desperate text?
17:16Would I slash the price?
17:19Would I abandon the plan? Would I spend
17:21the next 6 hours catastrophizing or
17:25would I become still enough to actually
17:26see what the moment is asking of me?
17:29And then take your next action from that
17:31person, from that identity, not from the
17:33identity trying desperately to make
17:35reality relieve their fear, from the
17:37identity
17:39of the person who already knows who they
17:41are.
17:42That's the practice. What do I want?
17:45What am I making this mean?
17:47Who would I be if I knew I was going to
17:48be okay? Desire, detachment, certainty.
17:52And here's what I want to leave you
17:53with.
17:54Maybe becoming unshakable doesn't mean
17:57reaching some spiritual state where
17:58nothing ever bothers you again.
18:00Personally, I don't think that's
18:01realistic.
18:02I think becoming unshakable means
18:04shortening the distance between the
18:06moment that you get knocked out of
18:07yourself and the moment that you return.
18:09Right? Something happens, you get
18:11triggered, fear comes up, the old story
18:12appears, and then you remember, "Wait a
18:14minute.
18:15I don't actually know what this means
18:17yet.
18:18I know what I want. I know who I am.
18:20And I don't need this moment to look the
18:22way I expect it to in order to continue
18:24moving toward the life that I'm
18:26creating. That's detachment. And there's
18:28an incredible freedom in that because
18:30now you can want enormously, you can
18:32dream enormously, you can build
18:34enormously, love enormously. You can put
18:36your whole heart into something without
18:39handing that thing the power to destroy
18:41your peace.
18:43And maybe that's how Napoleon Hill and
18:45Buddha and Neville and Yogananda can all
18:47be right.
18:48Have the burning desire, release your
18:50attachment, live from the certainty of
18:52the person you're becoming, and when the
18:53world around you appears to contradict
18:55everything you believe, don't
18:57immediately change the belief, don't
18:58immediately write the ending, don't
19:00immediately decide that something has
19:02gone wrong. Stand there.
19:04Observe.
19:05Listen.
19:07Take the right action. And learn little
19:09by little
19:10to stand unshaken amidst the crash
19:13of breaking worlds.
19:14So, if you want an amazing free tool to
19:16help you with all of this, if you have
19:18not yet, please check out the
19:19description of this episode. We've got a
19:21David AI powered assessment. It's going
19:23to help you identify your three biggest
19:25triggers, and it's going to teach you
19:27one of the most powerful tools we have
19:28for transforming those limiting beliefs
19:30and stories into new empowered
19:31decisions. It's called the decision
19:33matrix. And if you have not yet, would
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19:37subscribe. My team and I love to see our
19:40community growing. This is not a
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19:44do-it-with-others.
19:45And that's the greatest way that you can
19:47pay it forward and help us get this work
19:49into the world. And if there's somebody
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19:57Thank you so much. I love you so much.
19:59I'm looking forward to being here
20:00together soon, and I will see you in the
20:02next episode.

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