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The Man In The Canyon: The Aron Ralston Story — Transcript

by Expedition Gone Wrong · 7,840 words · 1,079 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00Aaron Rston was not a reckless idiot.
0:03This is the first misconception we need
0:05to clear up. When we hear about a guy
0:07who goes into the desert alone, tells no
0:10one where he is going, and gets trapped,
0:13we think, fool. But Aaron Rston was a
0:16genius. He was a mechanical engineer, a
0:20double major from Carnegie Melon
0:22University, French and engineering. He
0:25worked for Intel in Tacoma, Washington.
0:28He spent his days designing mechanical
0:30systems. He understood fulcrums. He
0:33understood leverage. He understood
0:35torque. He saw the world as a series of
0:37forces and counterforces.
0:40But inside the cubicle, staring at the
0:42gray walls of corporate America. He was
0:45dying. He was 26 years old. He had what
0:48he called the itch. It started on the
0:51weekends. He would drive to the
0:53Cascades. He would climb mountains. He
0:56realized that the only time he felt
0:58truly awake was when he was hanging by
1:00his fingertips from a granite face. In
1:032002, he did the unthinkable. He walked
1:07into his boss's office at Intel. He was
1:09making a good salary. He had a 401k. He
1:13had security. I quit, he said. Where are
1:17you going? His boss asked. Google,
1:20Microsoft? No. Aaron said. Aspen. I'm
1:24going to work in a climbing shop. He
1:26traded a six-f figureure potential for
1:28$10 an hour and a pair of skis. He moved
1:32to Colorado. He lived in a house with
1:34other dirt bag climbers. He was free.
1:37And because he was free, he began to
1:39push the limits. Aaron didn't just want
1:42to climb mountains. He wanted to do
1:44something nobody had ever done. The
1:47Colorado 14ers. There are 59 peaks in
1:51Colorado that are over 14,000 ft high.
1:55In the summer, they are hikes. Thousands
1:57of people do them. But in the winter,
2:00they are killers. The wind screams at 80
2:04mph.
2:05The temperature drops to 40 below zero.
2:09The avalanche danger is extreme. Nobody
2:12had ever soloed all of them in winter.
2:15That became Aaron's project. the winter
2:18solo project. He approached it like an
2:20engineer. He made spreadsheets. He
2:23calculated calories. He mapped routes.
2:26He became a machine. He would wake up at
2:292 a.m., drive to a trail head, hike
2:32through waist deep snow, summit, ski
2:34down, drive home, eat a frozen burrito,
2:38sleep, repeat. He was incredibly fit. He
2:42was incredibly skilled. But he was
2:45developing a dangerous mental habit. He
2:48started to believe he was special. He
2:50survived storms that turned others back.
2:54He navigated white outs where others got
2:56lost. He began to think that the rules
2:59of physics didn't apply to him. Or
3:02rather that he was smart enough to
3:04outwit physics. This is called the
3:07invincibility complex and it is the most
3:10dangerous drug in the world. Why solo?
3:14Why did he insist on going alone?
3:17Because Aaron Rston was an introvert who
3:20loved an audience, but only after the
3:22fact. He loved the purity of the solo
3:25experience. When you are alone on a
3:27mountain, there is no negotiation. If
3:30you're with a partner, you have to talk.
3:34Are you tired?
3:36Should we turn back? When you are alone,
3:39the decision is immediate. You move
3:41fast. You are silent. You are part of
3:45the landscape. He loved the music. He
3:48listened to fish, the string cheese
3:50incident, jam bands. He would put on his
3:54headphones, crank the volume, and enter
3:57a trance state. He called it the zone.
4:00In the zone, fear disappears. Time
4:04disappears. It is just you, the rock,
4:07and the rhythm. But the problem with the
4:10zone is that it deafens you to the
4:12warning signs. You don't hear the crack
4:14of the snowpack. You don't hear the rock
4:16shifting. You're dancing in a minefield
4:19wearing a blindfold. February 2003,
4:232 months before the accident in Utah.
4:26This is the event that should have
4:28stopped him. Aaron was skiing in the
4:30back country of Colorado with two
4:33friends, Mark and Chadwick. They were
4:36looking for fresh powder. Aaron was the
4:38leader, the expert. They approached a
4:42slope called Resolution Peak. The
4:44avalanche danger was high. Considerable.
4:48The report said Aaron looked at the
4:50slope. His engineering brain calculated
4:53the angle. It looked stable. He said he
4:57was wrong. He dropped in. He made one
5:00turn, two turns. Then the world
5:03shattered. A crack shot across the snow
5:07hundreds of feet wide. The entire
5:09mountain began to slide. It wasn't like
5:12a movie. It was like the earth turned
5:14into liquid concrete. "Avalanche!" he
5:18screamed. The snow grabbed him. It
5:20buried him to his neck. It grabbed his
5:23friends. Mark and Chadwick were swept
5:26into the trees. When the snow stopped
5:28moving, the silence was terrifying.
5:31Aaron dug himself out. He was frantic.
5:34Mark Chadwick. He found them. They were
5:38buried. But they were alive. They were
5:41shaken. They were angry. Aaron had
5:44almost killed them. He had made a bad
5:47call. His hubris had almost cost three
5:50lives. This incident shook him to his
5:52core. For a few weeks, he was humble. He
5:56questioned himself. But then the
5:58rationalization set in. "We survived,"
6:02he told himself. I handled the rescue. I
6:05learned. He didn't learn the right
6:07lesson. He didn't learn stop. He learned
6:11I can survive disaster. It was the wrong
6:14lesson. And it set the stage for April.
6:18April 2003.
6:20The winter was over. The snow was
6:22melting. Aaron was restless. The
6:25avalanche was in the past. He needed to
6:28get away. He needed a road trip. He
6:31looked at the map. Utah, Canyon Lands,
6:34the Red Rock Desert. It is the opposite
6:37of the mountains. It is hot. It is dry.
6:41It is a labyrinth of stone. He decided
6:44to go to Blue John Canyon. Why Blue
6:46John? Because it was obscure. It wasn't
6:49a famous national park hike with guard
6:52rails and rangers. It was BLM land,
6:55Bureau of Land Management, wild,
6:58unprolled. He wanted to do a technical
7:01canyoneering route. It involved
7:03repelling, climbing, squeezing through
7:06narrow slots. It was a playground for a
7:08mechanical engineer. He planned the trip
7:11in his head. Drive out Friday night.
7:14Mountain bike to the trail head. Hike
7:17the canyon. Bike back to the truck.
7:21Drive home Sunday. Back to work. Monday.
7:25A perfect weekend warrior strike
7:27mission. He didn't tell his roommates
7:29where he was going. Why would he? He did
7:32this every weekend. He didn't tell his
7:34mom. He just packed his truck. Let's
7:37look at what he packed. This inventory
7:39is crucial. Every item will become a
7:42character in the story later. The truck,
7:45a maroon Toyota Tacoma, his base camp.
7:49The bike, a mountain bike to run the
7:51shuttle. the backpack, a generic
7:54daypack, water, a camel back bladder, 2
7:58lers, and an algaene bottle, one liter.
8:02Three lers total for a day in the
8:05desert. It was just enough. Not extra,
8:08just enough. Food. Two burritos he
8:12bought at a gas station, some candy
8:14bars, a muffin, clothing, a t-shirt,
8:18shorts, a fleece pullover. Thank God.
8:21The tool, a cheap, generic multi-tool.
8:25It wasn't a Leatherman. It was a
8:27knockoff brand he got free with a
8:29flashlight purchase. It had a dull
8:31knife, a pair of pliers, a small
8:34flashlight, the camera, a digital
8:37camcorder, the Walkman with fish tapes,
8:41climbing gear, a harness, a rope,
8:44carabiners. He packed like he was going
8:46for a day at the beach. Light, fast,
8:50efficient. He forgot one thing, the
8:53contingency plan. He left no note on the
8:56dashboard. He left no note on the
8:58kitchen table. He vanished into the
9:00American West without a trace. Friday,
9:04April 25th, 2003. He finishes his shift
9:08at the mountaineering shop in Aspen. He
9:11jumps in the Tacoma. He drives west.
9:14This is the best feeling in the world.
9:16The windows are down. The air smells of
9:19sage brush and cooling asphalt. He is
9:22escaping civilization. He drives through
9:25the night. He reaches the horseshoe
9:28canyon trail head late. He sleeps in the
9:31back of the truck. He looks at the
9:33stars. The desert sky is a dome of
9:36diamonds. He feels infinite. He feels
9:39young. He has no idea that this is the
9:42last night he will sleep in a bed or a
9:45truck bed for a very long time. He wakes
9:49up Saturday morning, April 26th. The sun
9:52is blazing. The sky is a piercing,
9:55painful blue. He unloads the bike. He
9:59puts on his headphones. He starts to
10:01pedal. He is heading toward the horizon.
10:04He is heading toward the crack in the
10:06earth. He is heading toward the rock.
10:09Saturday morning, 900 a.m. Aaron locks
10:13his bike to a juniper tree. He is at the
10:15top of the canyon system. He is feeling
10:18good. He puts on his headphones. Fish is
10:21playing. He starts to run, not hike,
10:24run. He is bounding over the slick rock.
10:27The sandstone is red, orange, and white.
10:30It looks like frozen swirls of taffy.
10:34This is what he lives for, the kinetic
10:36energy. He feels light. He has three
10:39lers of water. He has his burritos. He
10:43has the sun. He is the king of his own
10:45private kingdom. He reaches the first
10:48drop off. He repels down. The canyon
10:51gets tighter. The walls go up. The sky
10:54becomes a narrow ribbon of blue. He is
10:57entering the slot. A slot canyon is a
11:01geological miracle. It is a crack in the
11:04earth carved by flash floods over
11:06millions of years. Some places are so
11:09narrow you have to turn sideways to fit.
11:12It is beautiful. It is also a trap. Once
11:16you're in, there is only one way out
11:18down. Around 11 a.m., he hears voices.
11:23He is surprised. He thought he was
11:25alone. He turns a corner and sees two
11:27women, Megan and Christy. They are
11:30hikers. They are a bit lost. Aaron
11:33switches into guide mode. He is
11:36charming. He is confident. I know this
11:39place, he says. I can show you a cool
11:42route. He leads them to a subterranean
11:45pool, the bathtub. They have to jump
11:48into the cold water. Aaron goes first.
11:51Splash. He laughs. He surfaces, shaking
11:54his hair like a dog. The girls jump in.
11:58They are screaming and laughing. It is a
12:01moment of pure joy. For an hour, they
12:04hang out. They share snacks. They flirt
12:07a little. Aaron films them with his
12:09camcorder. "Say hi to the camera," they
12:12wave. Then the moment ends. "We have to
12:16head back," the girls say. "I'm going to
12:19keep going," Aaron says. "I want to do
12:21the lower canyon." They invite him to a
12:24party that night. "Come find us," they
12:26say. "We'll have beer. I'll be there."
12:29Aaron promises. He watches them walk
12:32away. He considers going with them. If
12:35he goes with them, he lives a normal
12:37life. He marries. He gets old, but the
12:40solo itch is too strong. I'll see you
12:43later, he yells. He turns back to the
12:46canyon. He is alone again, and the clock
12:49is ticking. It is 2:40 p.m. Aaron is
12:52deep in Blue John Canyon. He is moving
12:55fast. He wants to make that party. He
12:58comes to a section where the canyon is
13:00very narrow, maybe 3 ft wide. There are
13:04boulders wedged between the walls. These
13:07are called chalk stones. Rocks that fell
13:10from above and got stuck. You have to
13:12climb over them or under them. Aaron
13:15sees a chalk stone. It is a large
13:17boulder about 800 lb. It looks stable.
13:22It has probably been there for 100
13:24years. He climbs down a few feet. He
13:28needs to get below it. He stems his
13:30legs. One foot on the right wall. one
13:33foot on the left wall like a spider. He
13:37reaches out to use the boulder as a
13:39handhold. He tests it. He shakes it. It
13:42doesn't move. Okay, he thinks it's
13:46solid. He transitions his weight. He
13:49begins to down climb. His face is inches
13:52from the rock. He is listening to the
13:54music in his head. He is happy. It
13:58happens in less than a second. As he
14:00lowers his weight, the friction changes.
14:03The boulder rotates. Gravity takes over.
14:06Aaron feels the rock shift. His brain
14:09registers the movement. Danger. He tries
14:13to pull his hand back, but he is
14:15falling. He falls about 10 ft. He lands
14:18on his feet in the bottom of the canyon.
14:21He looks up. The boulder is falling with
14:24him. It is falling right at his head.
14:27Instinct takes over. He throws his hands
14:30up to protect his face. This saves his
14:32life, but it costs him his freedom. The
14:35boulder smashes his left hand against
14:37the canyon wall. Crunch. But it doesn't
14:40stop there. His right hand is trapped.
14:43Wait. No. Let's slow it down. He lands.
14:48The boulder lands. It lands on his right
14:51hand. His left hand is free. His right
14:54forearm is pinned against the canyon
14:56wall. The boulder stops. It is wedged
14:59tight. It has crushed his arm. For a
15:02moment, there is no pain, just shock.
15:06The adrenaline is so high that his brain
15:08blocks the signal. He stares at his arm.
15:11It disappears into the crack between the
15:14rock and the wall. Then the pain hits.
15:18It is a white hot spike of agony. Get it
15:20off, he screams. It is not a word. It is
15:24a noise. A primal animal roar that
15:27echoes off the canyon walls. Fah.
15:32He slams his left shoulder against the
15:34rock. He pushes with his legs. He heaves
15:37with every ounce of strength in his
15:3926-year-old athlete's body. Move. The
15:42rock doesn't move. It doesn't budge a
15:45millimeter. It is 800 lb of sandstone.
15:48He is 160 lb of flesh. The physics are
15:52absolute. He pulls his arm. He yanks it.
15:56The pain is blinding. It feels like his
15:58arm is being ripped off. But it is
16:00stuck. His hand is crushed. The bones
16:04are shattered. The circulation is cut
16:06off. He stops pushing. He gasps for air.
16:10The silence of the canyon returns. The
16:13dust settles. He is standing up. His
16:16feet are on a small choke stone. He is
16:20trapped. Panic lasts for about 45
16:23minutes. This is the adrenaline phase.
16:26He tries everything. He tries to lift
16:29the rock. He tries to chip at the rock
16:32with his free hand. He tries to pull his
16:34arm out, even if it tears the skin.
16:37Nothing works. Then something amazing
16:40happens. The panic burns out. The
16:44adrenaline fades and the engineer wakes
16:46up. Aaron Rston's brain switches gears.
16:50He stops screaming. He looks at the
16:52rock. He analyzes the problem. The
16:56problem. My arm is pinned. The
16:58constraint. The rock is too heavy to
17:01lift. The goal. Extract the arm. Option
17:05A. Move the rock. Failed. Option B. Chip
17:09the rock away. Possibility.
17:12Option C. Cut the arm off. Unthinkable.
17:16Dismissed. Option D. Wait for rescue.
17:21possibility. He checks his watch. 3:15
17:25p.m. Saturday. He checks his supplies.
17:29Water. Less than a liter left. He drank
17:32most of it on the ride. Food. Two
17:35burritos. Some candy. Clothing. Shorts.
17:39T-shirt. The knife. He pulls out the
17:42multi-tool. He looks at it. It is a
17:44piece of junk. A free giveaway tool. The
17:47blade is dull. It is barely 2 in long.
17:51He tries to chip the rock with the
17:52knife. Tick, tick, tick. Sandstone is
17:57soft, but it is still rock. He makes a
18:00tiny scratch. He realizes, I can't chip
18:03this away. It will take weeks. He looks
18:06at the option C again. Cut the arm off.
18:09He looks at the dull knife. He looks at
18:12his arm. I can't saw through bone with
18:14this, he says aloud. It's impossible. He
18:18starts to rig a system. He is a climber.
18:20He has ropes. He has webbing. He ties a
18:24webbing anchor around the rock. He
18:26builds a harness for himself so he can
18:28sit down. He can't stand forever. His
18:32legs will fail. He creates a seat out of
18:35ropes. He takes the weight off his legs.
18:38This is a huge victory. It buys him
18:40time. He organizes his gear on top of
18:43the boulder. The boulder is now his
18:46desk. He lays out the burritos, the
18:49water bottle, the camera. He is tidying
18:52up. It is a way of asserting control
18:55over chaos. I am still in charge, he
18:58tells himself. He isn't. The rock is in
19:02charge. The sun goes down. This is the
19:06moment the reality hits. In the desert,
19:09the temperature drops 40° at night. He
19:12is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. He has
19:15the fleece pullover in his bag. He puts
19:17it on. It is difficult with one hand
19:20trapped, but he manages. The canyon goes
19:23black. He turns on his headlamp. The
19:26beam of light illuminates the rock, his
19:29arm, and the wall. Nothing else. He is
19:32in a coffin standing up. He takes a sip
19:35of water. He realizes he has to ration
19:38it. "Sip, don't gulp," he whispers. He
19:42thinks about the party. Megan and
19:45Christy are probably opening beers right
19:47now. Where is that guy? They might ask.
19:50He probably flaked, they'll say. Nobody
19:53knows he is here. His roommates think he
19:56is just gone for the weekend. His boss
19:59expects him on Monday. Monday is 2 days
20:02away. I have to last until Monday, he
20:05thinks. If I don't show up for work,
20:08they will call the police. He clings to
20:10this hope. The search will start
20:12Tuesday, rescue by Wednesday. Can he
20:15survive 4 days? He looks at the water
20:18bottle. Maybe he settles in for the long
20:21wait. He doesn't know it yet, but the
20:23physical pain is just beginning. The
20:26real torture will be the cold. Saturday
20:29night, the first night is a lesson in
20:31thermodynamics.
20:33The rock walls of the canyon suck the
20:35heat out of the air. The temperature
20:37drops to the low 40s. Aaron is standing.
20:41He cannot sit down fully because the
20:43rope harness cuts off the circulation to
20:46his legs. If he stands, his legs work,
20:49but he burns energy. If he sits, his
20:52legs go numb, but he rests. He enters a
20:56cycle. Stand for 20 minutes, sit for 10.
21:00Then the shivering starts. It isn't just
21:03shivering. It is uncontrollable
21:06convulsions. His teeth chatter so hard
21:09he worries he will chip a tooth. His
21:12body is vibrating against the rock. He
21:15pulls his arms inside his t-shirt. He
21:18wraps the rope around himself like a
21:20cocoon. It doesn't help. The cold is an
21:23active predator. It is trying to shut
21:26down his organs. He starts to talk to
21:28himself. Stay warm, Aaron. Keep moving.
21:32He does deep knee bends. One, two,
21:35three. He does hundreds of them. It
21:38warms him up for a few minutes, but it
21:41burns his precious calories. He is
21:43trading food for heat. He eats a piece
21:46of the burrito. It is dry and tasteless.
21:49He drinks a sip of water. He watches the
21:52stars move across the sliver of sky. He
21:55names them. He waits for the sun. He has
21:59never wanted the sun so badly in his
22:01life. Sunday morning, April the 27th.
22:06The sun hits the canyon rim at 8:00
22:08a.m., but the sunlight doesn't reach the
22:10bottom of the slot until 9:30 a.m. When
22:14the beam of light finally hits him, it
22:16is like a religious experience. He
22:19closes his eyes. He lets the warmth soak
22:21into his skin, but the warmth also
22:24brings clarity. He looks at the rock. It
22:27hasn't moved. He looks at his hand. It
22:30is turning colors. Blue, gray, it is
22:34dead. The necrosis has started. The
22:37tissue is dying. The toxins are building
22:40up. He decides to get to work. He takes
22:43the multi-tool. He opens the small
22:45blade. He starts to chip at the
22:48sandstone boulder. Scrape. Scrape.
22:51Scrape. He wants to carve a groove in
22:54the rock enough to slide his hand out.
22:56He works for hours. Dust covers his
22:59face. It gets in his eyes. He enters a
23:02trance state. Scrape. Scrape. After 3
23:06hours, he blows the dust away. He has
23:09removed about a handful of sand. He
23:12needs to remove a cubic foot of rock. At
23:15this rate, it will take him 3 months. He
23:18realizes the futility. He throws the
23:21knife down on the boulder. It's not
23:23working. He screams at the canyon. The
23:26canyon absorbs the sound and gives
23:28nothing back. Sunday afternoon. He
23:31realizes he might die here. He pulls out
23:34the digital camcorder. He turns the
23:36screen so he can see himself. He presses
23:39record. This is the moment the engineer
23:42disappears and the sun appears. Mom,
23:45Dad, I'm really sorry. His voice breaks.
23:50I went to Blue John Canyon. I didn't
23:52tell anyone. He explains the situation
23:55calmly. My name is Aaron Rston. My
23:58parents are Larry and Donna Rston of
24:00Englewood, Colorado. Whoever finds this,
24:04please give this tape to them. He films
24:06the rock. He films his trapped hand. He
24:09wants them to know he tried. He doesn't
24:11want them to think he was reckless. He
24:14wants them to know it was an accident. I
24:16love you guys. I'll touch you with my
24:18spirit. He turns the camera off. He
24:22feels lighter. He has confessed. He has
24:24left a record. Now he can focus on dying
24:27with dignity.
24:29Monday morning, April 28th, day three.
24:33The water is almost gone. He has less
24:36than half a liter left. He is starting
24:38to hallucinate. He sees shapes in the
24:40rock shadows, faces, monsters. But then
24:45something real appears. A raven. It
24:48flies over the canyon opening. Call.
24:52It lands on a chalk stone above him. It
24:55looks down at him with a black
24:57intelligent eye. Aaron talks to it. Hey
25:00buddy, you got any water? The raven
25:02tilts its head. It stays for exactly 15
25:05minutes. Then it flies away. This
25:08becomes his clock. The raven comes at
25:11900 a.m. every day. Aaron starts to rely
25:15on it. It is the only other living thing
25:17in his universe. He wonders if the raven
25:20is waiting for him to die. Not yet,
25:23Aaron whispers. I'm not carrying yet.
25:27Monday afternoon, the water runs out. He
25:30takes the last sip. He holds the empty
25:33nalgene bottle. He is severely
25:35dehydrated. His tongue is swollen. His
25:38lips are cracked and bleeding. He has to
25:41pee. He looks at the bottle. He knows
25:44the survival rule. Don't drink urine. It
25:48contains salts and toxins. It
25:50accelerates dehydration.
25:52But he also knows that the first pass of
25:55urine is mostly water. He makes a
25:57choice. He pees into the bottle. It is
26:00dark yellow. He lets it settle. He waits
26:03until the thirst is unbearable. Then he
26:06drinks it. It is warm. It is salty. It
26:09tastes like ammonia. He gags, but he
26:13forces it down. It's fluid. He tells
26:16himself. It's just fluid. He drinks his
26:19own waste to buy another 12 hours of
26:21life. It is a degradation of the spirit,
26:24but a victory of the will. Tuesday
26:27morning, April 29th, day 4. The rescue
26:31hasn't come. He knows that even if his
26:33boss called the police on Monday, nobody
26:36knows where he is. They are looking in
26:39the wrong state. He thinks they think
26:41I'm in Colorado. He realizes he has to
26:44cut the arm off. He takes the multi-tool
26:47again. He looks at the blade. It is
26:50duller than a butter knife. He tests it
26:53on his arm. He pushes the blade against
26:56the skin of his forearm. It doesn't cut.
26:58It just depresses the skin. He pushes
27:01harder. He saws back and forth. Finally,
27:04the skin breaks. Blood wells up. It
27:07hurts. But not as much as he thought.
27:10The nerves are dying. He probes the
27:12wound. He hits something hard. Clink.
27:16Bone. The radius and the ulna. Two thick
27:19bones. He tries to chip the bone with
27:21the knife. Nothing happens. He tries to
27:25saw the bone. Nothing happens. He stops.
27:29He looks at the knife. He looks at the
27:31bone. He realizes the horrible truth. I
27:35can't cut through bone with a pocket
27:37knife. He can cut the flesh. He can cut
27:40the muscle. He can cut the nerves. But
27:43the bone is the stopper. Unless he has a
27:46bone saw, he is trapped. He puts the
27:49knife away. He bandages the wound. He is
27:52devastated. He had summoned the courage
27:55to amputate his own limb only to fail
27:58because of the tool. I am going to die
28:00here, he says. I am going to die because
28:03of a cheap knife. Tuesday night, he is
28:07delirious. He starts to hate his hand.
28:10He stops looking at it as my hand. It is
28:13it. It is the enemy. It is the thing
28:17holding him back. He pokes it. It has no
28:20feeling. He stabs the blade into his
28:23thumb. No pain. The hand is dead. It is
28:27a rotting piece of meat attached to his
28:29body. If he could just detach it, but
28:32the bones, the damn bones. He falls into
28:36a fever dream. He sees himself playing
28:39with a small boy, a blonde boy in a red
28:42polo shirt. He is picking the boy up. He
28:45sees the future. He realizes that is my
28:48son. I don't have a son yet. That means
28:52I survive.
28:53The vision gives him a surge of hope.
28:56But hope without a plan is just torture.
28:59And then he has an idea. A physics idea.
29:03Torque. Thursday morning, May 1st, 2003.
29:08Day six. Aaron wakes up. He is barely
29:11alive. He has lost 40 lbs. His lips are
29:15burnt black. His eyes are sunken into
29:17his skull. He is hallucinating. He sees
29:20a boy in a red polo shirt again, his
29:23future son. He realizes this is the end.
29:27He decides to give up. He carves his
29:29name into the rock wall. R in October 75
29:33to May 3rd. This is his gravestone. He
29:37sinks into a depression. He is ready to
29:39die. He gets angry. A flash of pure red
29:44rage takes over. He lunges against the
29:47rock. He throws his entire body weight
29:50against the trap. He isn't trying to
29:52pull his hand out. He is trying to rip
29:54his arm off. And then he feels it. His
29:58arm bends, not at the elbow. It bends
30:02below the elbow. The bone bows. The
30:05engineer in his brain wakes up for one
30:07last job. He looks at the trapped arm.
30:10He realizes the rock is not just a trap.
30:13The rock is a vice. If he keeps his hand
30:16still and throws his body weight
30:18sideways, he can use the rock as a
30:20fulcrum. He can apply torque. He doesn't
30:24need a saw to cut the bone. He can snap
30:26the bone. He tests the theory. He levers
30:30his body toward the canyon wall. He
30:32feels the pressure building in his
30:34forearm. The bone, the radius, is
30:37bowing. He pushes harder. He screams,
30:41"Crack!" It sounds like a gunshot in the
30:44quiet canyon. The radius snaps. A wave
30:47of nausea hits him, but it is followed
30:50by a wave of euphoria. He has done the
30:53impossible. He has broken his own
30:55skeleton, but he isn't done. There is a
30:58second bone, the ulna. The ulna is
31:02thicker. It is harder to break. He has
31:05to bend his arm the other way. He squats
31:08down deep. He twists his body. He throws
31:11himself downward, putting all his weight
31:13on the wrist. Snap! It breaks. He
31:17collapses against the wall. He is
31:19panting. His arm is now floppy. It looks
31:24like a piece of rubber. The structure is
31:26gone. He is no longer attached to the
31:29rock by bone. He is only attached by
31:32meat. Now, he whispers. Now I can cut.
31:37He knows he has about 5 minutes once he
31:39starts cutting before he bleeds out. He
31:41needs a tourniquet. He uses the hose
31:44from his camel back water bladder. He
31:47wraps it around his upper forearm. He
31:49uses a carabiner to tighten it. He
31:52twists it until his skin turns white. He
31:54tests it. No pulse in the wrist. Good.
31:58He takes out the multi-tool. He opens
32:01the small blade. He looks at his arm. He
32:04has to cut through the muscle, the
32:06tendons, and the skin. He starts. The
32:10knife is dull, but the tension makes it
32:12easier. He saws through the bicep
32:15tendon. It snaps back like a rubber
32:17band. He cuts through the muscle belly.
32:20It is bloody work. The blood is dark and
32:23thick. He doesn't feel much pain in the
32:26flesh. The arm has been dead for days.
32:30But then he reaches the nerves. The
32:32human arm has three main nerves. The
32:36radial, the olar, and the median. They
32:39are the information superighways of the
32:42body. They look like white strands of
32:44angel hair pasta. Aaron sees the first
32:48one. He knows that touching this nerve
32:50will send a signal to his brain that is
32:53brighter than the sun. He doesn't have a
32:56choice. He takes the knife. He hooks the
32:59nerve. He pulls it taut. Imagine
33:02thrusting your arm into a pot of boiling
33:04magma. He severs it. Snip. Aaron
33:08screams. It isn't a scream of fear. It
33:12is a scream of system overload. His
33:14vision goes white. He nearly passes out.
33:18He shakes his head. Stay with me, Aaron.
33:20Stay with me. He finds the second nerve.
33:23He cuts it. Another bolt of lightning.
33:26He finds the third nerve. The biggest
33:29one. He cuts it. The pain is so intense
33:32it almost feels like pleasure. It is
33:35sensation. It is life. He is almost
33:38free. The bones are broken. The muscles
33:41are cut. The nerves are severed. He is
33:44attached by one last thing. the skin on
33:47the palm of his hand. It is tough,
33:49leathery skin. He can't reach it with
33:52the knife easily. He has to twist his
33:55body around to get the angle. He saws at
33:57the skin. It is like cutting leather. He
34:00pulls. He hacks. And then the tension
34:04releases. He stumbles backward. He falls
34:08against the opposite wall of the canyon.
34:11He looks down. His right arm ends in a
34:13bloody stump wrapped in a blue hose. He
34:17looks at the rock. His hand is still
34:19there. It is wedged in the crack. It
34:23belongs to the canyon now. He is free.
34:26He stands there for a moment. He is in
34:29shock. He expects to die right there.
34:33But he doesn't die. He feels a rush of
34:35endorphins that is stronger than any
34:38drug on earth. He is high on survival.
34:41He looks at his stump. It is dripping,
34:43but the tourniquet is holding. He looks
34:46at the boulder one last time. Goodbye,
34:49he says. He takes a photo. Yes. He takes
34:53a photo of the rock and his trapped
34:55hand. Why? Because he is a chronicler.
34:58He needs proof. Then he turns away. He
35:02has been standing in that spot for 127
35:06hours now. He takes a step. His legs are
35:10weak, but they work. He starts to walk
35:12down the canyon. He thinks the hard part
35:15is over. It isn't. He is 7 miles from
35:18his truck. He has no water. He has just
35:22amputated his own arm. And ahead of him
35:25lies a 60 ft repel that he has to do
35:28with one hand. He walks about 100 yards.
35:32He finds a pool of water. It is dirty,
35:35stagnant, black water, full of bugs. To
35:38Aaron Rston, it looks like champagne. He
35:41drops to his knees. He puts his face in
35:44the water. He drinks. He gulps. He
35:47drinks until his stomach hurts. He
35:50washes his face. He stands up. He feels
35:53the fluid hitting his bloodstream.
35:56I am going to live, he says. I am going
36:00to live. He starts to walk faster. He is
36:03a man on a mission. He has to get out of
36:06the slot before he bleeds to death. He
36:08approaches the drop off, the big drop.
36:12Thursday afternoon, May 1st. Aaron Rston
36:16is free from the rock, but he is still
36:18in the canyon. He reaches the big drop.
36:21It is a 60 ft vertical cliff. Under
36:24normal circumstances, this is an easy
36:27repel. But Aaron has one hand. He has no
36:30belay device. He left some gear behind
36:33to save weight. and he is losing blood.
36:36If he passes out halfway down, he falls
36:39to his death. If he loses his grip, he
36:42falls to his death. He has to rig the
36:44anchor with one hand. He threads the
36:47rope through the anchor point. He wraps
36:49the rope around his body in a duler sits
36:52or body repel. This is an old school
36:55technique. The rope runs across your
36:58back and under your thigh. Friction is
37:01created by your body. It hurts. It burns
37:04the skin. He steps off the ledge. He
37:07holds the rope with his left hand. He
37:10uses the bloody stump of his right arm
37:12to guide himself away from the wall. He
37:15descends foot by foot. He is weak. His
37:19vision is swimming. He hits the bottom.
37:21He uncips. He looks up at the rope. He
37:25tries to pull it down. It's stuck. He
37:28realizes he can't retrieve it. He leaves
37:31the rope hanging there. a blue line
37:33trailing down the red rock. It is the
37:36umbilical cord that connected him to the
37:38trap. Now it is cut. He turns around. He
37:42is out of the slot. He is in the main
37:45wash of Horseshoe Canyon. The walls are
37:48wider here. There is vegetation. He sees
37:51green cottonwood trees. He starts to
37:54walk. He has 7 miles to hike to get to
37:57his truck. It is 2:00 p.m. The sun is at
38:00its peak. It is 90°. He is walking on
38:04autopilot. He looks down at his body. He
38:07is covered in dried blood, sandstone
38:10dust, and urine. His shorts are torn.
38:14His legs are white. He looks like a
38:16zombie from a horror movie. But his mind
38:19is hyper clear. He is calculating his
38:21fluid levels. I drank the dirty water
38:25that buys me 2 hours. I am bleeding.
38:28That cost me energy. He sets a pace.
38:31Left, right, left, right. He talks to
38:35himself. Keep moving, Aaron. If you sit
38:38down, you don't get up. He starts to
38:41pick up speed. He isn't shuffling. He is
38:44marching. It is a manic, desperate
38:46march. He knows the clock is ticking on
38:49his blood volume. He has lost maybe 25%
38:53of his blood. He crosses the sandy wash.
38:56He climbs small hills. He sees a bug on
38:59a flower. It looks beautiful. He has
39:02never seen color like this before. The
39:05green is neon. The sky is electric. He
39:09is seeing the world through the eyes of
39:10a man who was already dead. Around 300
39:14p.m., he is a few miles down the wash.
39:17He sees figures in the distance. Three
39:20people, a man, a woman, and a child. It
39:24is a Dutch family on vacation. Eric,
39:27Mon'nique, and Andy Meyer. They are
39:30hiking, looking at rock art. They are
39:33happy. They are normal. Then they see
39:36him. Aaron starts to run toward them or
39:39stumble run. He waves his good arm.
39:42Help. His voice is a croak. Help me. The
39:46family stops. They look confused. Is
39:49this a prank? Is this a crazy person?
39:52Then they see the stump. They see the
39:55blood dripping from the blue tourniquet.
39:57Mon'nique's face goes pale. Aaron
40:00collapses in front of them. I'm Aaron
40:02Rston. He gasps. I lost my arm. I need
40:06water. They don't hesitate. Eric runs to
40:10him. They give him their water bottles.
40:12Aaron drinks. He drinks everything they
40:15have. Eric gives him Oreos. Aaron eats
40:19them frantically. The sugar hits his
40:22brain like rocket fuel. They are
40:24terrified, but they are brave. Eric
40:27tells Mo'Nique to run ahead to the trail
40:29head to get help. But before she can
40:32leave, they hear a sound. Thwack,
40:35thwack, thwack. Let's rewind 6 hours.
40:38While Aaron was snapping his bones, the
40:41world outside was looking for him. His
40:44mother, Donna Rston, had hacked into his
40:46email. She found his credit card
40:49statement. She saw a charge for
40:51groceries in Moab, Utah. She called the
40:54authorities. My son is missing. He is in
40:57Utah. The search was launched. Captain
41:00Kyle Ecker of the Emory County Sheriff's
41:02Office was in charge. He had a vague
41:05idea. Moab area. That is thousands of
41:09square miles. But then they found the
41:11truck, a maroon Toyota Tacoma at the
41:14Horseshoe Canyon trail head. They ran
41:17the plates. Rston They knew he was
41:20there. But where? They launched a
41:23helicopter. Terry Mercer, the pilot, and
41:26Steve Swanky, the ranger. They were
41:28flying low over the canyon, scanning the
41:31washes. It is like looking for a needle
41:33in a hay stack made of red rocks. They
41:36flew all morning, nothing. They were low
41:39on fuel. They were about to turn back to
41:41refuel. Then Steve Swanky looked down.
41:45Swanky sees two figures waving
41:47frantically. the Dutch family and a
41:50third figure sitting on the ground. The
41:53third figure is covered in blood. I
41:56think we got him, Swanky says. The
41:59helicopter banks hard. It lands in the
42:02sandy bottom of the canyon wash. The
42:04rotor wash kicks up a storm of red dust.
42:07Steve Swanky jumps out. He runs to
42:10Aaron. He expects a dying man. He
42:13expects a man who is unconscious.
42:15Instead, Aaron looks at him. Aaron
42:18stands up. I'm Aaron, he says. I
42:21amputated my arm. Swanky is a seasoned
42:24ranger. He has seen everything, but he
42:27has never seen this. He looks at the
42:29stump. He looks at Aaron's eyes. The
42:32eyes are lucid. Okay, Aaron. Swanky
42:35says, "Let's get you home." They help
42:38him into the helicopter. He sits down.
42:41He puts on the headset. The helicopter
42:44lifts off. For the first time in 6 days,
42:48Aaron is not touching the ground. He
42:50looks out the window. He sees the maze
42:53of canyons below. He sees the slot
42:55canyon where he was buried alive. It
42:58looks so small from up here, just a
43:00crack in the desert floor. He starts to
43:03cry, not from pain, from relief. The
43:07pilot hands him a canteen of water.
43:10Aaron drinks. Then the pilot hands him
43:13something else, a cookie. A chocolate
43:16chip cookie from his lunchbox. Aaron
43:18eats it. He later said it was the best
43:21thing he had ever tasted in his life. He
43:24leans back against the seat. He watches
43:27the red rock speed by at 100 mph. He
43:31checks his watch. It is 4:00 p.m.
43:356 days ago, he walked into the desert.
43:38Now he is flying out. He is lighter. He
43:41is missing 8 lb of arm and bone, but he
43:44is heavier in spirit. They land at Allen
43:47Memorial Hospital in Moab. They don't
43:50wheel him in on a stretcher. Aaron
43:53insists on walking. He gets out of the
43:55helicopter. He walks across the tarmac.
43:58He walks through the automatic doors of
44:00the emergency room. The nurses look up.
44:04They see a man covered in filth, missing
44:06an arm, walking upright. He walks to the
44:10gurnie and sits down. Then, and only
44:13then, does he collapse. His blood
44:16pressure is dangerously low. The doctors
44:19swarm him. They start IVs. They
44:22stabilize the stump. They realize that
44:24he is on the brink of death from
44:26dehydration and blood loss. If he had
44:29stayed in that canyon one more night, he
44:31would have died. If he hadn't amputated
44:34his arm, he would have died. If the
44:37Dutch family hadn't been there, he might
44:39have died on the hike. Everything had to
44:42go right. And everything did. A nurse
44:45asks him, "Can I get you anything?"
44:48"Iced tea," Aaron whispers. "A gallon of
44:51iced tea." She brings it. He drinks it.
44:55He falls asleep. When he wakes up, his
44:57mother is there. He looks at her. "I
45:00lost my arm," he says. "I know," she
45:03says, "but I got you back." A few days
45:07after the rescue, a team of park rangers
45:10returned to Blue John Canyon. They had a
45:12grim task. They had to retrieve the
45:15hand. They expected to walk in, lift the
45:18rock, and take the remains. They
45:21couldn't move it. Three strong men
45:23pushed. The boulder didn't budge. They
45:26had to bring in a hoist. They had to use
45:29hydraulic jacks. It took 13 men and
45:32heavy machinery to move the rock that
45:34Aaron Rston had fought alone for 5 days.
45:38This is the ultimate validation of his
45:40decision. If he had waited for the rock
45:43to shift, it never would have. If he had
45:46waited for someone to hear him, nobody
45:48could have moved it. When they finally
45:51lifted the boulder, they found his hand.
45:53It was preserved perfectly by the dry
45:56desert air. They removed it. They
45:58cremated it.
46:00Months later, Aaron returned to the
46:02canyon. He stood at the spot where he
46:05almost died. He took the ashes of his
46:08hand. He poured them into the crack.
46:11"You belong here," he said. He left a
46:14piece of himself in the canyon forever.
46:16"It was a peace offering to the earth.
46:20Recovery was brutal. Aaron didn't just
46:22lose a hand. He lost a massive amount of
46:25blood. His kidneys were shutting down.
46:28He spent weeks in the hospital, but the
46:31psychological recovery was fascinating.
46:34He experienced phantom limb pain. His
46:37brain still had a map for a right hand.
46:40It sent signals, clenched fist, open
46:43fingers, but there was no hand to
46:46receive the signal. The pain was
46:48excruciating.
46:50It felt like his hand was being crushed
46:52over and over again. But remember, Aaron
46:55is an engineer. He didn't just accept
46:58the disability. He engineered a
47:00solution. He looked at the prosthetics
47:02available on the market. They were
47:04clunky. They were designed for opening
47:07doors, not climbing ice walls. So, he
47:10helped design his own. He built a claw,
47:14a specialized prosthetic arm that could
47:16hold an ice axe. He built a climbing
47:19attachment that could jam into rock
47:21cracks. He became a bionic climber. He
47:24didn't hide the stump. He turned it into
47:26a tool. Most people who survive a trauma
47:29like that would never touch a rock
47:31again. They would sell their gear. They
47:34would play golf. Not Aaron.
47:372 years after the accident, he went back
47:39to the mountains. He still had a project
47:42to finish. The Colorado Winter Solo
47:4514ers. He had climbed 45 of them before
47:48the accident. He had 14 left. He climbed
47:52them all.
47:53He climbed the maroon bells in winter,
47:56some of the deadliest peaks in North
47:58America, with one hand. When he reached
48:01the final summit, he didn't scream or
48:03cheer. He just took a photo. He had
48:06proven a point to himself. The boulder
48:08hadn't beaten him. It had just paused
48:11him. He was still the soloist, but he
48:14was a different kind of soloist now. He
48:17left notes. He carried a satellite
48:19phone. He had learned the lesson of the
48:21avalanche.
48:23In 2010, the movie 127 hours was
48:27released, directed by Danny Bole,
48:30starring James Franco. Aaron was
48:33involved in the production. He wanted it
48:35to be accurate. He showed James Franco
48:38the video diaries, the real ones, the
48:41ones he filmed in the canyon. Only a few
48:44people have ever seen those tapes. They
48:46are too raw for the public. But Franco
48:49studied them. He learned the way Aaron
48:52talked, the way he moved his head when
48:54he was delirious. When Aaron watched the
48:56premiere, he cried. He said it was like
48:59an outof body experience. He watched
49:02himself die and be reborn on a giant
49:04screen. The movie made him a global
49:07celebrity. He went on talk shows. He
49:09wrote a best-selling book, Between a
49:12Rock and a Hard Place. He became a
49:14motivational speaker. But he never let
49:17the fame consume him. He knew that the
49:19hero label was dangerous. I'm not a
49:22hero, he often said. I'm a guy who made
49:25a mistake and fixed it. The most
49:28haunting part of the story is the
49:30vision.
49:31On the last night in the canyon, Aaron
49:34saw a blonde boy in a red polo shirt. He
49:37was convinced it was his future son.
49:40That vision gave him the courage to
49:42break his arm. Years passed. Aaron got
49:45married. In 2010, his wife gave birth to
49:49a son, Leo. Leo had blonde hair. One
49:53day, when Leo was a toddler, Aaron
49:55walked into the living room. Leo was
49:58wearing a red polo shirt. Aaron froze.
50:01It was the image. It was the exact image
50:04he had seen in his delirium 7 years
50:07earlier. He picked up his son. He wept.
50:11The vision wasn't a hallucination. It
50:13was a memory from the future. It was a
50:16promise kept. Aaron often talks about
50:19the boulder. He doesn't hate it. He
50:22says, "That boulder was waiting for me."
50:25He believes that he was on a path of
50:27self-destruction.
50:29The avalanche in February was a warning
50:31he ignored. The recklessness was
50:34escalating. If the boulder hadn't
50:36trapped him, he might have died in a
50:39bigger fall a year later. The boulder
50:41stopped him. It forced him to sit still
50:44for 5 days and think about his life. It
50:47forced him to value his family. It
50:50forced him to realize that he wasn't
50:52invincible. I touched death, he says.
50:55And death taught me how to live. He lost
50:58a hand, but he gained a life. It is a
51:01fair trade. Today, Blue John Canyon is
51:04still there. The chalk stone is still
51:07there, though it has shifted slightly.
51:10Hikers go there. Some leave notes, some
51:13leave water. But the real legacy isn't
51:16in the canyon. It is in the mind. Aaron
51:20Rston changed the definition of
51:22survival. Before him, survival was about
51:25luck. After him, survival was about math
51:29and will. He showed us that the human
51:31body is just a machine. And sometimes
51:34you have to break the machine to save
51:36the pilot. He showed us that there is no
51:39such thing as impossible. There is only
51:42necessary.
51:43We all have our boulders. We all have
51:46things that trap us. Debts, addictions,
51:50grief, fear. We feel stuck. We feel like
51:54there is no way out. We wait for someone
51:56to come and lift the rock. But Aaron
51:59Rston taught us the hardest truth of
52:01all. Nobody is coming. The helicopter
52:04isn't launching until you free yourself.
52:07You have to do the work. You have to
52:09break the bone. You have to sever the
52:11nerve. It will hurt. It will leave a
52:14scar. You will never be the same. But on
52:17the other side of that pain is the rest
52:19of your life. Aaron Rston walked out of
52:22the grave and he is still walking.

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