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The Lie of "Positive Thinking" — Transcript

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0:00Today we're going to talk about how to
0:01control your thoughts. So the
0:03interesting thing about this is if you
0:04look at people who are incredibly
0:05successful like Eileen Goo, she says the
0:08coolest thing about the mind is that you
0:10can control your thinking. And this is
0:12something that I actually technically
0:14hard disagree with. I think that you
0:16can't control your thinking. Even more
0:18interesting is that she's not the only
0:20one who disagrees with me. In fact, if
0:21you look at people who are incredibly
0:23successful across all kinds of
0:25industries. So here's a clip of Louiswis
0:27House. How much of our thoughts do we
0:29control?
0:30>> None. We don't control our thoughts.
0:31>> No, the mind generates thoughts. You
0:33find that most people who are incredibly
0:35successful believe that they can control
0:37their thinking. And I'm on the other
0:39side saying technically you can't. So
0:41what's the deal here? Why is there so
0:42much disagreement between people who are
0:45incredibly successful at the top of
0:47their field and me over here who's
0:49insisting that it can't be done? What
0:51we're going to tunnel into today is how
0:53these people end up shaping their mind
0:56in a way that gives them the idea that
0:59they can control their thinking. And
1:00this is work that I do like literally in
1:03my day job, right? As a psychiatrist, my
1:05job is to take people who are moderately
1:07successful and help them become
1:09incredibly successful. In my day job as
1:11a psychiatrist, my goal is to help
1:14people shape their thinking in the
1:16correct way. And the blunt unfortunate
1:18truth is that I've learned you can't
1:20control your thinking. And I'll give you
1:22a simple example. Okay? So let's say
1:23I've got a patient who's got OCD. This
1:26is by definition an illness where you
1:29can't control the thoughts that pop into
1:30your head. You have intrusive thoughts
1:33which we call obsessions. You think
1:35about it over and over and over again.
1:36And then you have compulsive behaviors
1:39to reduce the obsessions. But it's not
1:40just OCD, right? We can think about
1:42someone who's struggling with
1:44depression. So let's say this is an
1:45actual, you know, case of someone that
1:47I've worked with, someone who built a
1:48very successful company, sold it, right?
1:51So they they did the the miraculous
1:53thing, the founder exit at the age of 42
1:56and then they became incredibly
1:57depressed. So this is another situation
1:59where there are lots of negative
2:01thoughts that pop up in their head and
2:04they don't want to think this way. They
2:07try not to think this way. They may even
2:09do things like stand in front of a
2:10mirror and say positive affirmations to
2:13themsel every day. But if you kind of
2:15pay attention, the struggle with the
2:17mind, the basic problem with the mind is
2:19that you can't tell it what to think,
2:21right? You can't go to bed tonight and
2:23say, "Tomorrow when I wake up, I will be
2:25confident and I will think positive
2:27thoughts and I will believe in myself
2:29and I will understand that the world is
2:30a good place. I won't have existential
2:32depression about the nature of how AI is
2:34taking everybody's jobs and there's
2:36wealth inequality that's increasing at
2:38an astronomical rate. There's inflation.
2:40I can't buy a home anymore because of
2:41private equity. I'm I'm not going to
2:43think that way anymore. And if you try
2:46to do that, it simply doesn't work. The
2:48cool thing is that there are a couple of
2:50things that you can do. And when I work
2:52with someone, my goal is to teach them
2:55the skills that high performers
2:58basically have internalized, what
3:00they've learned how to do, what they can
3:02control. So let's start with this
3:04example from Lewis.
3:05>> Do we generate a thought or is a thought
3:07generated automatically?
3:10>> What are you thinking?
3:11>> I'm thinking you're touching my leg.
3:12Yeah.
3:12>> Did you have control over that?
3:14>> I can think a different thought when it
3:16happens. I can shift the thinking.
3:18>> So this is a key thing to understand.
3:19You can't control what pops into your
3:22head, right? So when when I'm touching
3:23Louiswis's foot, like he can't control
3:25like, "Oh my god, this guy is touching
3:26my foot." And that's like the problem in
3:28life, right? So you text a friend of
3:30yours and then they don't text you back.
3:33And you can't control the thought that
3:35pops into your head. But what you can do
3:38is shift your attention away from it.
3:41And this is one thing that is huge.
3:44Separates people who are like broke from
3:47people who are billionaires. the ability
3:49to shift their attention away from
3:51something. So, I'll give you all kind of
3:53a simple example of this, right? So, I
3:55can't control what is on the different
3:58channels on TV, right? There's a news
4:00channel. They're going to play this on a
4:01particular day. There's a murder mystery
4:03channel. There's the Discovery Channel,
4:04like whatever. I can't control what's on
4:06the channel. All I can control is which
4:09channel I choose to watch. And this is
4:11what's really important. This is what
4:13athletes learn how to do. Really
4:14successful people learn how to do. They
4:16learn to shift their attention away from
4:18an unproductive thought line. Now, what
4:21happens when we don't do this? The
4:23classic example is a thought spiral. So,
4:25I've worked with people who will say,
4:26let's say they get dumped. So, they get
4:28dumped by their significant other. Now,
4:30they feel lonely. They think to myself,
4:32I have been dumped. And then their mind
4:34jumps to the next thought. Since I have
4:36been dumped, that means I am unlovable.
4:40Since I am unlovable, that means I won't
4:42find anyone else in this life. And since
4:45I won't find anyone else in this life,
4:47that means I'll be alone for the rest of
4:49my life. I think a better example of
4:50that second thought, I don't like I am
4:51unlovable. I've spent so many years with
4:54this person. I've been in this
4:55relationship with this person for 10
4:56years. I haven't been on a first date in
4:5810 years. I'm so behind in life.
5:01Therefore, I will remain behind in the
5:04rest of my life. So, if you really look
5:06at this damaging kind of thinking, it
5:08isn't one thought that is damaging. It
5:10is getting stuck in this loop, right?
5:13this spiral where now we've boarded the
5:16train of negative thinking and we think
5:18this for an hour and each of those
5:20negative thoughts piles up reduces our
5:24self-esteem makes us feel worse about
5:26ourselves what's the difference between
5:28people who basically don't do very well
5:29in life and people who do really well
5:32what is the clinical work that I do I
5:34help them shift from having a thought
5:36chain to shifting their attention to
5:39something else right because if we think
5:41about what's the real problem with the
5:42thought spiral It's not an individual
5:44thought. It's the fact that they all
5:46chain together and then we think them
5:47again and then we think them again and
5:49then we've lost two hours of our life,
5:51right? And we feel terrible about
5:53ourselves. This is also why the most
5:54basic skill that we have to train the
5:56shifting of attention is meditation. I
5:59keep seeing comments, Dr. K, how do I
6:01apply this to a situation in my life?
6:03That's literally why we created a
6:05coaching program. Our coaches are
6:07certified on an evidence-based
6:08curriculum designed to help you get
6:11unstuck. This involves analyzing your
6:13patterns, increasing your understanding,
6:16and working with you week to week to
6:18help you develop a plan to create
6:20lasting change. So, if y'all are
6:22interested, check out the link in the
6:23description below. So, I can give you
6:25all a really simple example right now.
6:26So, really simple practice. I want you
6:28to close your eyes and just pay
6:30attention to the tip of your nose. Just
6:33concentrate on the tip of your nose.
6:36Right? If you're driving or something,
6:37don't do this. Just the tip. Put all of
6:39your attention there. So notice what
6:41happened when you focused on the tip of
6:42your nose. I actually this is like sort
6:44of like a secret meditation technique
6:46because it is so powerful in that you
6:49can do it immediately and it'll shut off
6:51your mind and you will stop thinking all
6:54things. So, literally, I want you all to
6:55think about 30 seconds ago, your mind
6:57was thinking about what I was saying,
6:59right? You had maybe all kinds of
7:01skepticism or this guy doesn't know what
7:03he's talking about or oh, maybe this
7:04will fix me, right? You have all kinds
7:06of thoughts happening. But when I tell
7:07you to shift your attention, you
7:09concentrate on the nose and all of those
7:12thoughts go away. So, the first key
7:13skill that athletes develop is the
7:16ability to shift their attention away
7:19from unproductive thoughts to other
7:21things. There's a second thing that is
7:23very important for athletes to learn how
7:25to do, which is to regulate their
7:27emotions. Now, this is why this is so
7:29important because a lot of people don't
7:30realize this. See, we tend to think that
7:32logic and emotions are like separate,
7:35right? So, like, oh, I'm not very
7:37emotional. Like, I'm a logical thinker.
7:39I'm a critical thinker. But if you've
7:40ever seen a debate about politics, both
7:44sides believe they're perfectly logical
7:46even though for some reason they're not
7:48able to see logic, right? You can look
7:50at problems like, you know, dating or
7:53the manosphere versus like the feminist
7:55circles or pink pill versus red pill or
7:57whatever. There's just a lot of like
7:59people who think that they are
8:00completely logical, but they're not. So,
8:03here's the key thing to understand. Our
8:05thinking is controlled by our emotions.
8:08Like literally. Okay? So, if you look at
8:11the emotional circuits of our brain,
8:13they are so potent at shaping our
8:15thinking. And if you've struggled with a
8:17negative emotion before, you kind of
8:19like know what I'm talking about, right?
8:20So once you get angry, once the anger
8:24turns on, the thinking is like a
8:26torrent, right? Like, oh my god, they
8:28did this and they did this and they did
8:30this and they did this. And so if you
8:32sort of look at it like the the emotion,
8:34as long as the emotion is fueling your
8:36brain, if that's what's dominating your
8:37brain, there will be lots of thoughts
8:39that are generated from this, not just
8:41anger, right? Once you feel ashamed
8:42about yourself, if you look at someone
8:43who feels like they're a loser, an incel
8:45or whatever, they have a lot of negative
8:47emotion. What they really feel is a lot
8:49of shame, they feel a lot of regret. And
8:51that shame and regret are like little
8:53factories that produce thoughts that pop
8:56up into your head. And so, as long as
8:58the emotion is present, it will shape
9:01your thinking. What we learned in
9:02cognitive behavioral therapy is that if
9:04we can manage someone's emotions, if we
9:06can teach them emotional regulation, if
9:08you can calm down the anger, then the
9:11thinking will change. Okay? There's a
9:13big difference between the way that most
9:15athletes manage their emotions and the
9:18way that we manage our emotions. The
9:20biggest problem is that we have access
9:21to this. And this is a really good tool
9:24to shut off our emotions. But shutting
9:28off our emotions is not the same as
9:30regulating them. The problem that we
9:32have with this is when I look at funny
9:34cat videos on the internet, right? Or I
9:36look at like, oh my god, there's this
9:37hilarious thing that happened in a video
9:39game that I like or there's this funny
9:41short about how the World Cup is
9:44dominating or Scottish people are in
9:46Boston and they're draining all the pubs
9:48dry and everyone there's no beer except
9:50for Bud Light left in the city of
9:52Boston, right? Which is oh my god like
9:53people outside of the America can't
9:55drink Bud Light. Another tangent. You
9:57see how I shifted away? So, here's the
9:58problem with this kind of stuff is that
10:01when we when we engage with things on
10:03the internet like social media, it
10:05artificially suppresses our emotional
10:07circuitry. But we're not learning to
10:09regulate it, we're just like turning the
10:11TV off, right? We're like stepping away
10:13from it. And then the problem is once we
10:15stop doing that, once we let our mind be
10:18free again, once we start thinking about
10:20things that emotion comes rushing up
10:23often times with an additional amount of
10:26regret because now I've wasted an hour
10:28on my phone and I should have been
10:30working, right? So I my emotional
10:31picture is actually moving in the wrong
10:33direction. Whereas what many successful
10:35people learn how to do is to regulate
10:37their emotions. They do this often times
10:39very physically, right? So a lot of
10:41these athletes will learn techniques
10:42like deep breathing. And by the way,
10:44breathing is probably the best way. Best
10:47in the sense that is very accessible and
10:49very effective, very easy to do, very
10:51natural. I teach this to literally
10:53four-year-olds because your breath and
10:55your emotional state are connected.
10:57Okay? So if you think about if I breathe
10:59like this,
11:02what emotion am I feeling? Right? You
11:04can tell there's a a particular
11:06neurohysiologic pattern of respiration
11:09with a particular emotion, which is why
11:11we tell people, hey, you need to calm
11:13down, take a deep breath. So, this is a
11:15two-way street. And athletes will learn
11:17deep breathing, but this is where we
11:18want to decompress or regulate our
11:21emotions. Often times, regulating our
11:23emotions is an important skill that we
11:25will do with other people. So, this is
11:27where like in our coaching program or as
11:29a psychiatrist, right, we will teach
11:31these techniques which are learned over
11:32time. So that's a really great way to
11:34learn them. But deep breathing or
11:36breathing in general is the fastest way
11:38to immediately regulate your emotions.
11:40So another thing that athletes tend to
11:42do that we don't do is argue with
11:44themselves. So often times when we have
11:46these negative thoughts in our head, our
11:48response is to try to logically argue
11:51against them. So if you think to
11:53yourself, I have low self-esteem. And
11:55then people will say, okay, like so no,
11:57but I don't have low self-esteem. Like
11:58let me make a procon list. Let me try to
12:00convince myself. And oftentimes athletes
12:04do change the way that they talk to
12:05themselves, but that kind of convincing
12:07is very hard to do on your own. You guys
12:10may have noticed, right? You've tried to
12:11do it. Some people are able to do it, in
12:13which case it's no longer a problem. But
12:15many people will look for logic to
12:18combat logic. But what we've learned
12:20sort of what I've learned as a
12:21psychiatrist is that as long as the
12:23emotion is fueling those thoughts,
12:25arguing against yourself really doesn't
12:28change your self-esteem very much. And
12:31that's a big trap that people fall into
12:32that often times, I don't know if this
12:34just makes sense. If you look at someone
12:35who's incredibly successful, what
12:37they're doing is not like sitting at
12:39home spending 4 hours arguing with
12:42themselves. And literally, I've worked
12:43with I can think of a couple of esports
12:45athletes that do do that. They spend
12:48time hours at home after practice
12:50thinking about how they should be
12:52different and this and that. Their mind
12:53is once again out of control and their
12:56performance doesn't actually get better.
12:57That actually holds them back a fair
12:59amount. So, oddly enough, logical
13:00argument is not something that works.
13:02Another really important thing to
13:04understand is where our thoughts
13:05actually come from. So, sure, we can't
13:07control them. We can shift attention
13:09away to a different channel, a more
13:11productive channel. We can regulate our
13:12emotions. But the other key thing to
13:14understand is that our thoughts
13:16fundamentally come from our sense
13:18organs. This is also something that
13:20people who produce advertising and
13:22propaganda very clearly understand. Why
13:26does propaganda work? Because if I can
13:29give someone enough sensory input, if we
13:32look at the way that political campaigns
13:34are run, I'm going to bombard people
13:36with images, with music, with sound
13:40bites, with clips. And if I can do this
13:43enough, I can literally change the way
13:46that they think. So the weird thing
13:48about this is that other people are
13:51actually more empowered to control your
13:55thoughts than you are. really scary but
13:58it's absolutely true right your wife has
14:01certain thoughts in her head she's upset
14:03and you can do things to alter the
14:05pattern of her thinking you can say oh
14:07tell me what's wrong I love you we as
14:08human beings can affect the human beings
14:10around us we can affect their thinking
14:12>> which means by definition her thinking
14:14is being shaped by who
14:16>> me
14:16>> so as we saw in this clip with Lewis his
14:18wife's thoughts are actually controlled
14:20more by him and his wife controls more
14:23of his thoughts than we want to give
14:24ourselves credit for and depending on
14:26how you've existed in the environment.
14:29You may have noticed this as well, like
14:30if you're spending some time with your
14:32boss and your boss like gives you a
14:33negative performance review or they, you
14:35know, give credit to one of your
14:37colleagues, this environmental influence
14:40can trigger all kinds of thinking. And
14:43this is the other thing that athletes
14:45and professionals are really, really
14:46good at. Think about their environment.
14:49Right? So, if I'm a professional
14:50athlete, I wake up in the morning. I'm
14:52eating some kind of healthy food that is
14:54determined by my nutritionist. I go into
14:56work, I spend time with my coach, I
14:58spend time with my peers, I get a
15:00massage, I do a cold plunge. My
15:03environment is feeding me a certain kind
15:05of thinking. They're not spending 8
15:08hours a day watching how their
15:10competitors are working harder than they
15:13are, doing better than they are. Oh my
15:15god, they have this coach and they have
15:16I only have a cold plunge, but they have
15:18an infrared sauna. That's not actually
15:20how they're spending their time. This is
15:22really important. The environment that
15:24highly successful people have is very
15:27controlled and that induces a certain
15:30kind of thinking. A good analogy to sort
15:32of stitch this all together is a garden.
15:35So if we look at a garden, can you
15:37control what grows in a garden? Now you
15:41can look at a well manicured garden. You
15:43can say like yeah like they kind of
15:44control that, right? There's rose
15:46bushes, there's liies, there's a crepe
15:48myrtle, there are no weeds. So clearly
15:49they can control it. But if you sort of
15:51stop and think about it technically like
15:53I can plant a seed, I can water it, I
15:55can add the fertilizer but I cannot make
15:57it grow. What I can do is take certain
16:00actions to cultivate a particular kind
16:04of growth. And the other really
16:06important action that we take with
16:07gardens is that we're we do weeding,
16:09right? So when there are negative things
16:11when they're negative plants growing, I
16:13remove them. I remove them. I remove
16:14them. I remove them. But technically,
16:16you can't like stop weeds from growing.
16:18You can only do the work of weeding them
16:20on a daily basis. And this is ultimately
16:23the difference between what I would call
16:25high performers, the thinking of high
16:28performers and the thinking of low
16:29performers, which is that high
16:31performers, they weed on a daily basis.
16:33When they have a negative thought, they
16:35shift their attention and they fertilize
16:37themselves in the right way. I'm going
16:39to spend time with my coach. I'm going
16:40to spend time away from social media.
16:42I'm literally spending my days doing
16:44things. I'm doing things like deep
16:46breathing. Each of these things that we
16:48do will start to shift your mind in a
16:51particular direction. And when we look
16:53at someone like an Olympic athlete, they
16:55have a well- manicured garden because
16:57many of them from the age of five or six
17:00or even younger started this process of
17:04mental cultivation. The problem that we
17:06run into is that we will do these things
17:09for a little while, right? We'll say,
17:11"Okay, I watched this Dr. K video. I'm
17:13going to shift my attention. I'm going
17:15to concentrate on the tip of the nose.
17:16I'm going to do all of these things. We
17:17do it for a week. We do it for 2 weeks.
17:19We do it for 3 weeks. We do it for four
17:21weeks. And then we think to ourselves,
17:22"Oh my god, it's not working." And even
17:25as you guys are listening to this, you
17:27may be thinking these thoughts like, "Oh
17:28my god, what is Dr. K saying? He's
17:29saying just stay off your phone. Is that
17:31basically what you're saying?" Like,
17:32sure, if I'm a pro alete and I have a
17:35coaching staff, I have an infrared
17:37sauna, I have all these things, then
17:39it's easy to do what you're saying, Dr.
17:40K, but my life is different. I can't
17:43afford to stay off of this. My boss
17:45sends me emails. I have to check Slack.
17:48I have to check Instagram DMs for my
17:50job, right? I have to do all of these
17:52things. And I want you to notice what
17:55you just did, right? I want you to
17:57notice what thought popped up into your
18:00head when I said this is what we need to
18:03do. This is exactly the problem, right?
18:05So, you can't control your negativity in
18:08response to this. But if we look at this
18:10is a key thing that separates people who
18:12are really successful from people who
18:14are not which is that when they have a
18:16negative thought pop into their head.
18:19What is the shift that you are making
18:21right now? Are you making the shift of
18:23and this is the shift that they make.
18:25This is an obstacle. How do I overcome
18:28it? That is the difference between a
18:29high performer and a low performer's
18:31thought. Low performer's thought is this
18:33is an obstacle therefore I can't do it.
18:36Right? You see this? And there's so many
18:38people in our community. This is why I'm
18:40doing this work, right? Because y'all
18:41think, "Okay, it won't work because of
18:43this. It won't work because of this. I'm
18:44different. There's another thought.
18:46There's another weed that has grown. I'm
18:48less than everybody else. What works for
18:50other people doesn't work for me. These
18:52people have advantages I have.
18:54Therefore, I can't accomplish what they
18:56can't accomplish." And I'm not one to
18:58say that advantages don't matter. Right?
19:01I I said from the get-go, many of these
19:02people, they they are this way because
19:04they were trained from the age of five.
19:07You were not trained from the age of
19:08five. I was not trained from the age of
19:09five. Right? There's no question that
19:11they have advantages that you don't
19:13have. The question is, how does your
19:15mind respond to that discrepancy? Do you
19:18say, "Therefore, I can't do it." Notice
19:21how it's happening right now in your
19:23head. Even as I point this out to you,
19:25what is your mind's reaction? Is it
19:28finding some way to twist and turn to
19:30reject what I'm saying? Or is it
19:33actually starting to shift a little bit?
19:34Maybe I should think about how to apply
19:36this instead of finding the five
19:39obstacles that I need to wipe away
19:42before I apply it. And this is the key
19:44thing. See, if you're struggling with
19:46this, it's completely normal because if
19:48we go back to the garden, the issue with
19:50the garden is if we have a garden that
19:52we have not manicured, right, for 10
19:54years, 15 years, the garden is overrun
19:57with weeds. How many weeks of tending
20:00the garden? How many weeks of weeding
20:02does it take for the garden to become a
20:04rose garden? We have to start planting
20:06the right thoughts and we have to do a
20:07lot of weeding. And this is what's so
20:09hard. This is why I like working with
20:11people, right? And if we look at like
20:12our coaching program, it's really
20:14interesting because we see really good
20:16outcomes. So people start to get better
20:17within four weeks, but we see really
20:19good outcomes at 20 weeks. And that's
20:20because it takes about 20 weeks to get a
20:23garden under control. You can put in a
20:25lot of effort for 4 weeks, 8 weeks. You
20:27can do all of the right things, but you
20:29will not notice a difference. And it's
20:31just like a garden because you're
20:33working, working, working, working,
20:34working. And then if you go 4 weeks in
20:36and you're like, "Oh my god, I've been
20:37working every day for 8 hours and the
20:39garden is still an absolute mess." And
20:41even though you're expending effort, you
20:43don't see a result. But then something
20:45magical happens at 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 16
20:47weeks. And this is another dangerous
20:49thought that people have. I'm putting
20:51forth effort therefore and I don't see a
20:53result. Therefore, this is a waste of
20:55time. Therefore, this will never work.
20:57But with a garden, the key thing is at
20:59some point the effort starts lessening.
21:01The more you do it, the more you
21:02cultivate, the easier it becomes. But it
21:05still requires that maintenance on a
21:07daily basis. I want to leave you all
21:09with one super concrete thing, which is
21:11what is it that I need to weed in my
21:13mind. So, by all means, you can focus on
21:15the tip of your nose, learn to train
21:17your attention. That'll help you a lot.
21:18But the last thing that I want you all
21:20to notice, this is the thought that you
21:21need to weed. Any thought that is black
21:23and white. So, in the world, nothing is
21:25black and white, right? Or maybe some
21:27things are black and white. That's a
21:28black and white thought, right? So,
21:29let's weed that out. Maybe something is
21:30black and white. Most things are not
21:32black and white. And if you look at
21:33athletes, they're really good at this.
21:35So, I I recently heard a a clip from a a
21:37tennis player who was saying they
21:39unexpectedly lost a tournament where
21:41they were, you know, favored to win and
21:42they're like, "I never want to play
21:44tennis again." That's a black and white
21:45thought. And do you think that this
21:46person is going to quit tennis? I would
21:48be really surprised if they do. They
21:50have the black and white thought, but
21:51they shift away from it, right? How do
21:53you shift away from I never want to play
21:54tennis again? You shift away by saying,
21:56"Look, I had a bad week. It was a bad
21:58game. Everybody has tough times. Here's
22:00what I did well. Here's what I did
22:01poorly." And what I found literally you
22:03can measure the black and the level of
22:06black and white thinking with the
22:07severity of mental illness. And what you
22:10will find is that the more severe the
22:11black and white thinking is, the more
22:13likely they are to be severely mentally
22:15ill. So in borderline personality
22:17disorder, one of the diagnostic features
22:19is black and white thinking. When people
22:20have psychotic depression, it's black
22:22and white thinking. So notice anytime
22:24you think in terms of black and white
22:26and you have just one task, shift
22:28towards gray. It doesn't have to be all
22:30the way from black to white. Even white
22:32is bad. I've worked with many people. We
22:34talk about psychotic depression. Other
22:36example of white thinking. Is all white
22:38thinking terrible? Absolutely. And we
22:40call that mania. So shift away from
22:43black or white to gray. That is the most
22:45fundamental weeding you can add.
23:06Do you want

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