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The Last Decluttering Video You’ll Ever Need to Watch (I Promise!) — Transcript

by Everyday with Uncle Kenji · 10,878 words · 1,640 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00This is the last decluttering video you
0:02will ever need to watch, and I mean it.
0:05Here's why I can say that. I took the 10
0:08most famous decluttering methods in the
0:10world, and I tried every one of them in
0:12my own house, one after another.
0:15Two weeks each. 20 weeks in total. Every
0:19one of them promised the same thing.
0:22A house with less in it, and a life that
0:24feels lighter because of it. Some of
0:26them ask you for one weekend. Some of
0:29them ask you for a month, with a bag in
0:31your hand every single day.
0:33And one of them asks you to pack your
0:35whole house into boxes, as if you were
0:37moving, and then live out of the boxes.
0:40I wanted to know which of them actually
0:42works in a normal house, for a normal
0:45person who is not 25, and does not want
0:47to live with one chair.
0:49Only a few of them did. Here are the 10
0:52I tried.
0:53>> [music]
0:53>> Marie Kondo and her spark of joy.
0:55Swedish death cleaning.
0:57The 30-day game and the packing party
0:59from the minimalists.
1:01Dana White's container. Peter Walsh and
1:04the backwards hangers. FlyLady's 27
1:07things.
1:0933 pieces of clothing for 3 months. 12
1:1312 12.
1:15And the four boxes that are printed on
1:17every checklist in America.
1:19I did it properly.
1:20I kept a notebook. I counted how many
1:23bags left the house with each method. I
1:26wrote down what I had to buy back
1:27afterwards.
1:29And I watched what happened in the weeks
1:30after each method ended, because that's
1:33where most of them quietly fall apart.
1:36Here's how this video goes, so you know
1:38where we are the whole way through.
1:40First, I'll take you through the 10
1:41methods, one at a time, in the order I
1:44tried them. For each one, I'll tell you
1:47three things.
1:48What it is. What happened in my house.
1:51And my verdict, which will always be one
1:53of three words.
1:55Kept. Part. Or gone. Then, when the 10
1:59are done, I'll tell you the five things
2:01that stopped every single method and
2:03what to do about them. And at the very
2:06end, I'll put the pieces that work
2:07together with the way my mother ran her
2:09house in Japan and give you one simple
2:12system in five parts that you can start
2:14this week. That's why I can call this
2:17the last one you'll need. After this,
2:19you'll know which advice fits your house
2:22and which advice you can stop feeling
2:23guilty about. So, method number one. And
2:27I'll tell you now, the one I expected to
2:29love was the first one to let me down.
2:31Method number one is Marie Kondo, the
2:34most famous method in the world, and if
2:36any of them was going to work, it should
2:37have been this one.
2:39Marie Kondo is Japanese, like me, and
2:42her book came out in Japan in 2010 and
2:45in America a few years later. And then
2:47came the television show, and for a
2:49while you couldn't open a drawer in this
2:51country without someone telling you to
2:52fold your socks standing up. The method
2:55has a few clear rules.
2:57You don't tidy room by room.
2:59You tidy by category in a fixed order.
3:03Clothes first, then books, then papers,
3:06then everything else in the house, and
3:08the sentimental things last of all.
3:10You gather every single thing in that
3:12category into one pile so you can see
3:15how much you really own.
3:17Then you pick up each one and ask
3:19whether it sparks joy.
3:21If it does, it stays.
3:23If it doesn't, you thank it for what it
3:25did and you let it go.
3:27And she asks you to do the whole house
3:29in one go, quickly, as a kind of
3:31festival, rather than a little bit every
3:34weekend for a year.
3:36I'll tell you what happened with the
3:37clothes because that's where everyone
3:39starts.
3:40I pulled every piece of clothing I own
3:42onto the bed. Every coat from the hall,
3:44every sweater from the top shelf, every
3:46sock.
3:48And the first thing I felt was not joy.
3:50It was shame.
3:52There was more on that bed than I would
3:53have guessed by half, and most of it I
3:55hadn't worn since the Obama
3:57administration.
3:58That part of the method works, and it
4:00works on everybody.
4:02Seeing the whole pile is a shock, and
4:04the shock is useful. But then came the
4:06question, and this is where it started
4:08to come apart for me. Spark joy. I
4:11picked up a plain gray sweater that I
4:13wear 3 days a week in winter. Does it
4:15spark joy?
4:17No. It's a gray sweater. It sparks
4:20warmth. Then I picked up a bright shirt
4:22my daughter gave me that I've worn once
4:24in 6 years. Does it spark joy? Yes, a
4:28little, because it reminds me of her. So
4:30by her rule, the shirt stays and the
4:33sweater goes, and that's backwards.
4:35[music]
4:36I think the question was written for a
4:37younger person with too many pretty
4:39things. When you're over 60, most of
4:42what you own is practical, and practical
4:44things don't spark anything. They just
4:46work.
4:47I also want to say something about the
4:49thanking, because people laugh at it,
4:51and I don't. She asks you to thank each
4:54thing for what it did before you let it
4:56go, and I did it, feeling a little
4:58foolish with a pair of boots.
5:00Thank you for 10 winters, and something
5:03in me loosened, and the boots went in
5:05the bag without a fight. In Japan, we
5:07grow up thanking things. We say a word
5:10before a meal that thanks the food and
5:12the farmer and the fish. So that part
5:15isn't strange to me, and I think it does
5:17something real, especially for the
5:19things that have been with you a long
5:20time. I'd keep that even if you only do
5:23it in your head. The second problem was
5:25the pile itself.
5:27I took every book in the house off the
5:29shelves on a Saturday morning.
5:31By Saturday night, I had a sore back and
5:33half a room full of books I hadn't
5:35finished deciding about, and I slept
5:37with books on the floor beside the bed
5:39for 4 days.
5:40My mother would have been horrified.
5:42In her house, you never made a bigger
5:44mess to fix a smaller one.
5:46The order of categories, though, I
5:48liked. Clothes are easy to decide about,
5:51and papers are hard, and old photographs
5:54are the hardest of all. So saving them
5:56for last means you've built up some
5:57strength by the time you get there.
6:00And the folding is lovely. I still fold
6:02my shirts her way, standing up in the
6:05drawer so I can see everyone. And I open
6:07that drawer every morning and it makes
6:09me a little bit happy.
6:11So, here's where I landed after 2 weeks
6:13with Marie Kondo.
6:1411 bags left the house, which is the
6:17most of any method I tried. But 3 weeks
6:19later, two of the things I thanked and
6:21let go, I had to buy again. A plain
6:24kitchen knife and a winter hat.
6:27Neither one sparked joy and both of them
6:29were needed. What worked? The fixed
6:31order, finishing with the sentimental
6:33things, the thanking and the folding.
6:36What didn't, at least for me, the joy
6:38question and the giant pile.
6:41So, my verdict on method one, Marie
6:43Kondo, is part. I kept a piece of it and
6:47I let the rest go. And that's really
6:49what this whole video is. 10 methods and
6:52the pieces of each one that are worth
6:54keeping. I've already put all of those
6:56pieces and the way my mother ran her
6:58house into one book, so you don't have
7:01to take notes while you watch.
7:03It's called the complete Japanese home
7:05way and it goes through the house room
7:07by room, deciding what stays, giving
7:09everything a place and the small daily
7:11habits that keep it that way without a
7:13big clear out ever again.
7:15You can scan the QR code on your screen
7:18or use the link in the description and
7:20it's at unclekenjibooks.com.
7:23And if the kitchen is the room that
7:24beats you every time, there's a separate
7:26kitchen book on the same page and I'll
7:28say more about that one later.
7:30That's one done.
7:32Nine to go.
7:33And the next one is the method that sent
7:35seven bags out of my house and not one
7:38thing came back. Method number two has
7:41the worst name on this list, Swedish
7:43death cleaning, and it turned out to be
7:45one of the kindest.
7:47Swedish death cleaning comes from a book
7:49by Margareta Magnusson, a Swedish artist
7:52who said she was somewhere between 80
7:53and 100 years old when she wrote it. In
7:56Swedish, it's one word, dostadning, and
7:59the idea is simple.
8:00You go through your things now while
8:02you're alive and well, so that the
8:04people you love don't have to do it for
8:05you after you're gone in a hurry, while
8:07they're grieving.
8:09That sounds dark.
8:10Reading the book, it isn't.
8:12She is funny, and she's practical, and
8:15most of what she says is about making
8:17your life easier today, not about dying.
8:20Her rules go like this.
8:22>> [music]
8:22>> Start with the big things, furniture,
8:25the garage, the attic, because they're
8:27the easiest to decide about, and they
8:29make the biggest difference.
8:31Save photographs and letters for the
8:33very last. Tell your family and friends
8:35what you're doing, so they can speak up
8:37if they want something, and so they can
8:38help. Give things away while you're
8:40alive, so you get to see someone enjoy
8:42them.
8:43And keep one small box of private things
8:46that you'd rather nobody read, and label
8:48it so your family can throw it away
8:50unopened.
8:51I started in the garage, as she says.
8:54There was a treadmill in there that had
8:55not moved since 2016, and a set of golf
8:58clubs I bought when a friend took up
9:00golf, and then he stopped, and I never
9:02started.
9:04The treadmill went to my neighbor's son
9:05in a single afternoon, and he carried it
9:07out himself, which is the best way for a
9:09treadmill to leave a house.
9:11That was the first thing I noticed about
9:13this method.
9:14When you give something to a person
9:16instead of dropping it at a donation
9:18center, it's easier to let go, because
9:20you can picture where it went. Then I
9:22did what she said, and I told my family.
9:25That was the part I'd been nervous
9:26about, and it turned out to be the best
9:28thing I did all week.
9:30My daughter said she'd always wanted my
9:32mother's tea set, which I'd been keeping
9:34for no one in particular. It's at her
9:36house now, and she uses it, and I see it
9:39when I visit.
9:40My son said he didn't want the dining
9:42table, which was a relief, because I'd
9:44been holding on to a table for a man who
9:46has his own table.
9:48There's one more of her ideas I want to
9:50pass on, because it's the one people
9:52find strange, and it's the one I think
9:53about most.
9:55She says to keep a small box, just one,
9:58of the private things.
9:59Old letters, a diary, whatever you'd
10:02rather nobody read.
10:04You write on the lid, "Throw away
10:05without opening," and you trust your
10:07family to do it.
10:09I made my box. and knowing it's there
10:11took a weight off me that I hadn't
10:15noticed I was carrying.
10:17Everything else in my house, anyone can
10:19look at.
10:21That one box, nobody has to.
10:23And she asks a question about every
10:26object that I've borrowed for good.
10:28Will anyone I know be happier if I keep
10:30this?
10:31Not will I miss it. Will anyone be
10:33happier?
10:35For the treadmill, the answer was no.
10:37And for my mother's tea set, the answer
10:39was my daughter. And in both cases, the
10:41question did the work.
10:43I also tried something she suggests that
10:45I'd never have thought of on my own.
10:47She says that when you give something to
10:49a person, you can tell them its story
10:51once, and then it's theirs, and you
10:53don't have to carry the story anymore.
10:56So, when the tea set went to my
10:57daughter, I told her where my mother
10:59bought it, and which cup was my
11:01father's, and which one had been glued.
11:03And then I stopped. It's her tea set
11:06now, with her stories ahead of it. And I
11:08found that I didn't need to keep the set
11:10to keep the memory, because I'd handed
11:12the memory to someone who will outlive
11:13me.
11:14That's the part of this method nobody
11:16puts on the thumbnail.
11:18It isn't about death at all.
11:20It's about handing things forward while
11:22you can still watch them land.
11:24Now, the hard part.
11:26Her method is slow, and it's meant to be
11:28slow.
11:29She says to take your time, and that it
11:31can go on for years.
11:33In 2 weeks, I only got through the
11:35garage and one closet. That's not a
11:38failure of the method. It just isn't a
11:40weekend job, and if you want a fast
11:42result, this isn't where you'll find it.
11:45And there's one more thing I want to be
11:47honest about. Some days, it did feel
11:49heavy.
11:50Going through a box of my late wife's
11:52winter scarves, deciding who should have
11:54them, is not the same as deciding about
11:57a treadmill.
11:58She warns you about this, and she's
12:00right, and it's why she says to leave
12:02those things for last.
12:03But I've kept three of her rules for
12:05good. Big and easy things first.
12:08Give things to people while you You
12:10watch them being used.
12:12And tell the people around you what
12:14you're doing because they will surprise
12:16you and they will help.
12:18Seven bags left the house in 2 weeks and
12:21nothing has come back. Nothing.
12:24That's the first method on this list
12:26where I didn't have to buy anything
12:27again.
12:28So my verdict on method two, Swedish
12:31death cleaning, is kept. Slow, but kept.
12:35Now, method number three asked me to get
12:38rid of 465
12:40things in a single month.
12:42Method number three is the 30-day game
12:44and I'm telling you now, I lost. [music]
12:47It comes from two American friends who
12:49call themselves The Minimalists, Joshua
12:51Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, and
12:54they've been writing and speaking about
12:56owning less since about 2010.
12:59The game is simple to explain.
13:01On the first day of the month, you get
13:02rid of one thing.
13:04On the second day, two things.
13:07On the third day, three.
13:09And it carries on like that. So on the
13:1130th day, you're letting go of 30 things
13:13in one day.
13:15If you make it to the end, that's 465
13:18things gone in a month.
13:19They suggest doing it with a friend so
13:21you can keep each other going and the
13:23one who lasts longest wins.
13:26My friend Bob agreed to play against me,
13:28mostly so he could win.
13:30The first week was wonderful.
13:32One thing, two things, three things,
13:35four.
13:36Those are easy numbers and I found
13:38myself looking forward to it. Walking
13:40through the house in the morning with a
13:41cup of tea looking for the day's things.
13:43A broken umbrella, four pens that don't
13:46write, a phone charger for a phone I
13:48don't own.
13:50By day 10, I'd let go of 55 things and
13:52the hall closet looked like someone
13:54else's hall closet. Then it changed. Day
13:5715 is 15 things. Day 20 is 20.
14:01And by then, the easy things are gone.
14:04Everything left in the house is either
14:05something I use or something I'm not
14:08sure about and the game doesn't care
14:10which. It just wants 20 things.
14:13So on day 19, I found myself standing in
14:16the kitchen counting out 19 things, and
14:19I put a perfectly good wooden spoon in
14:20the bag to make the number.
14:22That's when I knew the game had started
14:24running me
14:25>> [music]
14:25>> instead of the other way around. And I
14:27noticed something else about those later
14:29days that I think is worth saying out
14:31loud.
14:32The game made me want to buy things.
14:35Not consciously, but by day 18, I was so
14:38used to things leaving that I'd started
14:40to think of the house as a place things
14:42pass through, and I caught myself in a
14:44shop picking up a new kitchen timer, and
14:47I thought, "Well, I've got rid of so
14:49much, there's room."
14:51That's the opposite of what the game is
14:53for.
14:54A method that empties the house and then
14:56invites you to fill it again is only
14:58half a method, and it's why the counting
15:00has to stop before the habit of letting
15:02go turns into a habit of churning.
15:05I stopped on day 22. 253 things had left
15:09the house, which is a lot, and the house
15:11was better for it. Bob made it to day
15:1426, and I had to buy him lunch. I should
15:17say what the first 2 weeks did for the
15:19house because it was more than I
15:20expected. Things I'd walked past for
15:23years, I finally saw.
15:25The vase on the windowsill that nobody
15:27had put flowers in since 2015. The
15:30second set of measuring cups.
15:32>> [music]
15:32>> The radio that only gets one station.
15:34Looking for a small number of things
15:36every morning teaches your eyes to see
15:38the house again, and that's worth
15:40something because most of us stopped
15:42seeing our own homes a long time ago.
15:45And playing against someone matters more
15:47than it sounds.
15:48On day eight, I didn't feel like it, and
15:51I did it anyway because Bob was going to
15:53ask. I've never once decluttered because
15:56a book was going to ask.
15:57>> [music]
15:57>> But here's what I noticed in the weeks
15:59after.
16:00Three things came back. The wooden
16:02spoon, which I replaced. A spare set of
16:05sheets, which I needed when my grandson
16:07stayed over. And a lamp because I'd been
16:10so busy counting that I didn't notice
16:12the corner had gone dark.
16:14The problem is the counting. When the
16:16goal is a number, you stop asking
16:18whether each thing belongs in your house
16:21and start asking whether it'll make the
16:22number.
16:23The first 2 weeks of the game though,
16:25are the best 2 weeks of decluttering
16:27I've found.
16:29One thing a day, growing slowly, is the
16:31easiest start there is. Because on day
16:34one, nobody can say they don't have time
16:36to get rid of one thing. So my verdict
16:38on method three, the 30-day game, is
16:41part. [music]
16:43Play the game for 15 days and then stop
16:45while you're winning.
16:47Don't let it run to 30.
16:48My mother never counted anything she
16:50gave away, and she gave away a great
16:52deal. She just asked whether the thing
16:55had a job. That's three done.
16:58And I want to tell you now, method five
17:00has the two questions that did more for
17:02my house than everything else put
17:03together. So stay with me, because once
17:05you have those two questions, you can
17:07declutter anything. Method number four
17:10is the strangest one on the list.
17:12Method number four is the packing party,
17:15and it asked me to pack my whole house
17:16into boxes as if I were moving, and then
17:19live out of them.
17:21This one also comes from the
17:22minimalists. Years ago, Ryan Nicodemus
17:25did something strange.
17:27He packed up every single thing in his
17:29apartment into boxes, as if he were
17:31moving the next day.
17:32Clothes, dishes, towels, everything.
17:36Then for 3 weeks, he lived there. And
17:38whenever he needed something, he went to
17:40the boxes and unpacked it.
17:42At the end of the 3 weeks, he looked at
17:44what was still in the boxes. About 80%
17:47of everything he owned was still packed,
17:49and he'd never missed any of it.
17:51He let it go. They call it a packing
17:54party, and I'll tell you right now, I
17:56didn't do the whole house. I'm 63, and
17:59I'm not packing a sofa.
18:01But I did it with two rooms, the kitchen
18:03and my bedroom. And that was enough to
18:05learn the lesson.
18:07I packed every drawer and every cupboard
18:09in the kitchen into 11 boxes on a
18:11Sunday.
18:12Every pan, every bowl, every gadget,
18:15every spice jar.
18:17Then on Monday morning, I I to make
18:18breakfast, and I had to open a box to
18:21find a frying pan, a plate, a fork, and
18:23a cup.
18:24I put those four things on the counter,
18:26and they stayed there.
18:28By the end of the first week, I'd
18:29unpacked 26 things from 11 boxes. By the
18:33end of the second week, 34.
18:36I counted what was still packed. 191
18:39things. A kitchen I use every day, and I
18:42had cooked for 2 weeks with 34 things in
18:45it. Now, the honest part. 3 weeks is not
18:48a year.
18:49The roasting pan wasn't unpacked because
18:52nobody came for dinner.
18:53The big soup pot didn't come out because
18:56it was August.
18:57So, you cannot throw away everything
18:59still in the boxes, and I don't think
19:01they'd tell you to.
19:03What I did was separate the boxes into
19:05two. Things I'd use in another season,
19:07and I'll give those a year. And things I
19:10could not imagine a day that would need
19:11them. That second pile was 94 things,
19:14and they went.
19:16The bedroom was quicker, and it told me
19:18the same story, and it was mostly about
19:20clothes.
19:21But, I want to tell you about one thing
19:23the kitchen boxes taught me that I
19:24didn't expect.
19:26It wasn't about what stayed packed. It
19:28was about what I unpacked first. A
19:31frying pan, a small pot, one good knife,
19:34a cutting board, a wooden spoon, two
19:36plates, two bowls, two cups, two forks.
19:40Those were the first 10 things out of
19:41the boxes, and for the whole 2 weeks,
19:44those 10 did about 90% of the cooking.
19:47When my mother married, that was roughly
19:49her whole kitchen, and she fed a family
19:51of five out of it for years. The other
19:53190 things in my boxes were not a
19:55kitchen. They were a collection. And
19:58once I'd seen that, I couldn't stop
20:00seeing it in every room. But, living out
20:02of boxes is exhausting, and after 16
20:05days, I could not stand it anymore and
20:07unpacked everything that was left. It's
20:09a powerful experiment, and it's a
20:11terrible way to live, and I think that's
20:13the point.
20:14Alongside the packing party, the
20:16minimalists have two little rules that I
20:18used all through the 2 weeks, and I
20:20liked them both. The 90/90 rule asks two
20:23questions about a thing.
20:25Have I used this in the last 90 days?
20:28And will I use it in the next 90?
20:30If the answer to both is no, it goes.
20:33And the 20/20 rule is for the things you
20:35keep just in case.
20:37If you could replace it for less than
20:38$20 in less than 20 minutes from your
20:40house, you don't need to store it just
20:42in case.
20:44Let it go, and if the day ever comes,
20:46you'll buy another one.
20:48I used the 20/20 rule on a drawer of
20:50spare cables, and it emptied the drawer
20:52in 4 minutes. So, my verdict on method
20:54four, the packing party, is part.
20:58Do it once, with one room, probably the
21:00kitchen, and never again.
21:03But, the two small rules that came with
21:05it, the 90/90 and the 20/20, I've kept
21:08both, and I use them every month.
21:10That's four done.
21:12For method five, I was tired of rules
21:14written by young men, and I wanted one
21:16written by someone who'd actually let a
21:17house get away from her.
21:19Method number five is Dana White's
21:21container, written by a woman who calls
21:23herself a slob, and she gave me the best
21:25two questions in this entire video.
21:28Dana White started a blog in 2009 called
21:31A Slob Comes Clean, and the name tells
21:34you what you need to know. She isn't
21:36naturally tidy. Her house kept getting
21:38away from her, and everything she
21:40teaches came out of what actually worked
21:42when nothing else did.
21:44Her decluttering book came out in 2018,
21:46and the whole thing is built on two
21:48ideas.
21:49The first is what she calls the
21:50container concept. A shelf is a
21:53container. A drawer is a container. A
21:56closet is a container, and so is your
21:58house.
21:59A container has one job, which is to
22:01tell you when you have too much.
22:04When the bookshelf is full, you don't
22:06buy another bookshelf.
22:07The shelf is the limit, and the limit is
22:09not a problem to be solved. It's the
22:12answer.
22:13You keep your favorite things until the
22:15container is full, and whatever's left
22:17over is what goes.
22:19I'd heard this before, and I'd nodded
22:20along, and I hadn't done it. So, I did
22:23it with the coffee mugs.
22:24The mug shelf holds 12.
22:27I had 23 mugs, which is why they were
22:29living on two shelves and the counter. I
22:31put the 12 I'd choose first on the
22:33shelf, and the other 11 went into a bag,
22:36and it took me under 5 minutes.
22:38That's the whole method.
22:40The shelf decided. I didn't have to feel
22:42anything about any mug.
22:44Then there are her two questions, and I
22:47want you to write these down. When you
22:49pick something up and you're not sure,
22:51you ask the first question.
22:53If I needed this, where would I look for
22:55it first?
22:56Not where should it go.
22:58Where would I actually look? And then
23:00you take it there, right now, not later.
23:04If the answer is nowhere, if you can't
23:06think of a single place you'd look for
23:08it, then you ask the second question.
23:11If I needed this, would I even remember
23:13I had it?
23:14And if the answer is no, it goes because
23:16a thing you don't remember owning is not
23:18helping you.
23:20I used those two questions on the junk
23:22drawer, and the hall table, and a box in
23:24the garage, and I want to tell you what
23:26was different about them. Every other
23:28method on this list makes you decide
23:30about the thing. Keep or go. Joy or no
23:34joy. Used in 90 days or not.
23:37Dana's questions make you decide about
23:39the place, and the place is easier
23:41because you either have a spot for it or
23:43you don't. She has a third rule I didn't
23:46expect to like. Don't make a mess to
23:48clean a mess.
23:50No big pile on the bed. No emptying the
23:53whole closet onto the floor. You pick up
23:55one thing, you ask the questions, you
23:58deal with it, you pick up the next.
24:00After the KonMari books on the floor for
24:024 days, this felt like a kindness.
24:04>> [music]
24:05>> And she says to start with the most
24:06visible place, the thing you see when
24:08you walk in the door, so the house looks
24:10better after 15 minutes, and you want to
24:12keep going.
24:13I started with the hall table, and I was
24:15done in 10 minutes, and it changed how
24:17the whole front of the house felt.
24:20I'll give you one more example because
24:22it's the one that convinced me.
24:24The hall closet had a shelf of hats and
24:26gloves and scarves that had become a
24:27mound. Under the four-box way of
24:30thinking, I'd have pulled it all out and
24:32sorted it.
24:33Under Dana's way, I didn't pull out
24:35anything. I took the first glove off the
24:37top. Where would I look for it first? In
24:40the hall closet, on this shelf. So, it
24:43stayed.
24:45Next, a child's mitten from a child who
24:47is now 26. Would I remember I had this?
24:51No. It went. [music]
24:5220 minutes, one glove at a time, and the
24:55shelf was a shelf again, and the floor
24:57of the hall was never once covered in
24:59gloves.
25:00That's what she means by not making a
25:02mess, and it's why her way is the one I
25:04can do on a Tuesday after dinner in my
25:07slippers.
25:08What didn't work? Not much, really. Her
25:11method is slow in a different way from
25:13the Swedish one.
25:14There's no big dramatic day. The house
25:17gets better by a drawer here and a shelf
25:19there, and after 2 weeks, you look
25:21around and you can't say exactly when it
25:23happened.
25:24If you want one weekend that changes
25:26everything, this isn't it.
25:28But, eight bags left the house in 2
25:30weeks, and nothing came back, and I
25:32didn't have a sore back once. So, my
25:34verdict on method five, Dana White, is
25:37kept. All of it. The container, the two
25:40questions, and no mess to clean a mess.
25:44That's five done, and we're halfway.
25:46If you're still with me, give this video
25:48a like and subscribe because there are
25:50five more to go, including the one that
25:52got my closet down by half without me
25:54ever deciding about a single shirt. And
25:56that one is method number six.
25:59Method number six is Peter Walsh, and it
26:01begins with a question about the room
26:03and ends with a trick involving your
26:05coat hangers.
26:06Peter Walsh is an Australian who became
26:09famous on American television, first on
26:11a show called Clean Sweep, and then on
26:13Oprah, where he'd walk into a house that
26:15had gotten completely out of hand and
26:17help the family find their way out. His
26:20book, It's All Too Much, came out in
26:222007.
26:23His first rule is one I'd never heard
26:26anywhere else. Before you touch a single
26:28thing, you ask what the room is for,
26:31>> [music]
26:31>> not what it's become, what you want it
26:33to be.
26:34He calls it the vision for the room.
26:36So, I stood in my spare bedroom, which
26:38had become the place where things go to
26:40be forgotten, and I said out loud, "This
26:43is a room where my grandson sleeps when
26:45he visits, and where I read in the
26:47afternoon."
26:48Then, I looked around. A broken printer,
26:51three boxes of tax papers from the
26:531990s,
26:55an exercise bike with coats hanging on
26:57it. None of it belonged to that vision.
27:00And that's his second rule. For every
27:02single thing, you ask whether it helps
27:05you make the life you want in that room,
27:07or whether it's standing in the way.
27:09The printer was standing in the way.
27:11It went the same day, and so did the
27:13bike, and the room was a bedroom again
27:15by Wednesday.
27:17I thought that was clever, and I've used
27:19it in every room since.
27:21But the thing most people know him for
27:23is a trick with hangers, and it's the
27:25one that got my closet down by half.
27:27You go to your closet, and you turn
27:29every hanger backwards, so the hook
27:31faces you instead of the wall. Then, you
27:33go on living.
27:35Every time you wear something and put it
27:37back, you hang it the right way round.
27:39After 6 months, you open the closet and
27:42look. Anything still backwards, you have
27:44not worn in half a year, and now you
27:46know.
27:47It's not a decision. It's a record.
27:50I only had 2 weeks for each method, so
27:53I'll tell you what I did.
27:54I turned every hanger in the spring
27:56before I started any of this, and by the
27:59time I got to Peter Walsh, it had been
28:01just over 6 months. 29 hangers were
28:04still backwards.
28:06A linen jacket, four shirts I'd kept for
28:08weddings nobody has, a pair of trousers
28:11that fit a man 10 lb lighter than me.
28:13>> [music]
28:14>> 29 things out of a closet of about 60,
28:17and I had not touched one of them in 6
28:19months.
28:21I didn't have to ask whether they
28:22sparked joy.
28:23The hangers had already answered.
28:26And what did I do with the 29?
28:28I didn't let them all go, and I want to
28:30tell you why. Because the hanger trick
28:32has a weakness, and it's this.
28:35It tells you what you haven't worn. It
28:37doesn't tell you why. Four of the shirts
28:39I hadn't worn because they needed a
28:41button, and I'd been meaning to sew it
28:43for a year. I sewed four buttons on a
28:45Sunday afternoon, and those shirts are
28:47in the rotation again.
28:49The linen jacket I hadn't worn because
28:51it had been a cool summer, and it's a
28:53good jacket, and it stayed. So, 22 left
28:56out of the 29, which is still more than
28:59a third of my closet gone without a
29:01single hard decision.
29:03And a thing I noticed in the following
29:05weeks,
29:06the closet with air in it changed how I
29:08got dressed. I could see what I had, and
29:10I wore more of it, so fewer hangers went
29:13backwards the second time around. A full
29:15closet hides most of itself from you.
29:18I'd keep one piece of common sense with
29:20this.
29:21A winter coat that's still backwards in
29:23May is not a coat you don't wear.
29:25It's a coat that's waiting for December.
29:28So, I give coats and boots a full year.
29:31There's one more of his ideas I used on
29:33the garage, because the garage is the
29:35one room the vision question doesn't
29:37quite reach.
29:38He asks you to imagine the room is
29:40empty, completely, and then to decide
29:43what you'd carry back in. Not what you'd
29:45take out. What you'd put back. Standing
29:48in the garage doorway, I asked that, and
29:51the list was short.
29:52The car,
29:54the tools I use,
29:55the garden things,
29:57the Christmas boxes.
29:58Everything that wasn't on that list was
30:00there by accident, and once I'd seen it
30:02that way, about a third of the garage
30:04was gone by the weekend.
30:06It's the packing party without the
30:08boxes, which at my age is the version
30:10I'd recommend. And where did Peter Walsh
30:12fall short? His method was built for
30:15houses on television that had reached a
30:16crisis with a crew of helpers and a
30:18dumpster in the driveway.
30:20For a normal house that's just a little
30:22too full, the vision question is enough,
30:25and the rest of the book is more than
30:26you need. So, my verdict on method six,
30:29Peter Walsh, is part. [music]
30:32I kept the vision question, and And
30:34hangers are now permanent.
30:36Every January, every hanger turns around
30:39again. That's six done. And when the 10
30:42are finished, I'm going to give you the
30:43five things that beat every one of these
30:45methods, the papers, the gifts, the
30:48things of someone you've lost, and what
30:49finally worked for each of them.
30:51That part isn't in any of the books.
30:54Method number seven takes 15 minutes,
30:57which after the packing party, felt like
30:59being let out of school early.
31:01Method number seven is FlyLady's 27
31:04things, a bag and a timer, and it's the
31:07only decluttering habit I've ever
31:09managed to keep. FlyLady is Marla
31:12Cilley, and she's been sending out
31:13little reminders to people's email since
31:16the late '90s. Her whole system is
31:18enormous, with morning routines and
31:21evening routines and zones for every
31:23week of the month.
31:24I'm not covering all of that here,
31:26because most of it is about cleaning,
31:28not decluttering.
31:30But inside it, there's one decluttering
31:32habit, and it's famous, and it has a
31:34very silly name. The 27 Fling Boogie.
31:38You take a bag, you walk through the
31:40house as fast as you can, and you put 27
31:43things in it that can go. Then you take
31:46the bag straight out to the car or the
31:48trash before you can change your mind.
31:51That's it. She says you can do anything
31:53for 15 minutes, and this takes less.
31:56The first time I did it, it took 9
31:58minutes. Expired spices,
32:01three plastic lids with no containers, a
32:04calendar from 2021, birthday cards from
32:07people I couldn't remember, 9 minutes,
32:1027 things, and the bag was in the car
32:13before the kettle boiled. The number is
32:15the clever part.
32:17It's big enough that you have to move
32:18through more than one room to fill the
32:20bag, so you don't just empty the junk
32:22drawer and call it done.
32:24And it's small enough that you'll never
32:25need to put anything good in to make the
32:27number, which is exactly where the
32:2930-day game broke down. 27 is always
32:32easy. Even in a tidy house, there are 27
32:36things. I did it every day for 2 weeks,
32:39which is more than she asks.
32:41The first week it was easy.
32:43By the second week, the fling was
32:45slowing down to 12-15 minutes because
32:48the easy things were gone and I was
32:50starting to look harder.
32:52That's when I understood what it's for.
32:54It's not for the big clear-out. You'd
32:56never empty a garage 27 things at a
32:59time.
33:00It's for afterward. Once the house is
33:02where you want it, one bag of 27 once a
33:05month is enough to stop it from ever
33:07filling back up. And the speed matters.
33:10Because you're moving fast, you don't
33:12stop and hold things and remember
33:14things.
33:15You see it, you know it goes in.
33:18My mother used to do something like this
33:20in the week before the new year. She'd
33:22go through the house with a cloth bag
33:24and whatever she put in it, we never saw
33:26again and we never once missed anything.
33:29I asked her once how she decided so fast
33:32and she said she didn't decide.
33:34She said the things that needed to go
33:35had been waiting to go for a long time
33:38and all she did was open the bag.
33:40I didn't understand that when I was 12.
33:42I understand it now.
33:44When you move quickly through a house,
33:46the things that don't belong almost jump
33:48out at you because they've been
33:49bothering you for months without you
33:51noticing.
33:52The slow, careful methods give those
33:54things time to make their case.
33:56The fast bag doesn't.
33:58There's one rule of hers that goes with
34:00it and I think it's the real reason the
34:02habit works. The bag has to leave the
34:04house the same day. Not the garage, not
34:07the back seat of the car for 3 weeks.
34:10Out to wherever it's going before you
34:12sit down.
34:14Because a bag in the garage is not
34:15decluttering.
34:17It's just clutter that's been moved.
34:19What didn't work? Doing it daily.
34:22After 10 days, I was tired of it and I
34:24started skipping and skipping made me
34:26feel I'd failed at something that should
34:28have been easy.
34:29So, don't do it daily.
34:31So, my verdict on method seven, the 27
34:33things, is kept. Once a month on the
34:37first Saturday while the laundry runs.
34:40It's the one thing on this list I've
34:41done every month since without ever once
34:43thinking about it. That's seven done.
34:46Method number eight took every piece of
34:48clothing I own and left me with 33.
34:51Method number eight is project 333.
34:5533 pieces of clothing for 3 months and
34:58nothing else.
34:59This one comes from Courtney Carver who
35:01started it in 2010 after an illness made
35:04her want a simpler life.
35:05The rule is this.
35:07You choose 33 items and that's all you
35:09wear for the next 3 months.
35:12Clothes, [music] shoes, coats, handbags,
35:14jewelry, all included in the 33.
35:18Underwear, pajamas, and clothes for the
35:20gym don't count. Everything else you box
35:23up and put out of sight. Not away. Just
35:26out of sight. At the end of 3 months,
35:29you open the boxes and see what you
35:30missed.
35:32I'll be honest. I thought this was going
35:34to be the easiest one on the list
35:35because I'm a man of a certain age and I
35:37already wear the same four things. Then
35:40I counted. I had to count the shoes and
35:43the belts and the two watches and the
35:45coats and suddenly 33 was tight.
35:48Choosing took me a full evening.
35:51Eight shirts, four sweaters, five pairs
35:54of trousers, three pairs of shoes, two
35:56coats, a hat, a scarf, a belt, a watch,
36:00and a few others.
36:02Everything else went into two boxes at
36:04the top of the spare room closet.
36:06Here's what the first week felt like.
36:09Getting dressed took about 40 seconds.
36:11There was nothing to decide.
36:13The closet had air in it and I could see
36:15every single thing I owned without
36:17moving anything.
36:19I did not expect to like that as much as
36:21I did.
36:22Then around day 10, something else
36:24happened that I want to tell you about.
36:26I stopped thinking about clothes.
36:29Not just in the morning.
36:30All day.
36:32I didn't look at shirts in shop windows.
36:34I didn't wonder whether I needed a
36:36different jacket for a dinner.
36:38The subject had simply left my head and
36:40I hadn't realized how how room it had
36:42been taking up. Here's a small thing
36:44that happened that I think about more
36:46than the big ones. On the second Sunday,
36:49a neighbor invited me to a dinner, and I
36:51had a moment of the old worry, what do I
36:53wear?
36:55And then I remembered that I had one
36:56good shirt and one jacket, and that was
36:58the outfit, and the worry was over in
37:00about 2 seconds.
37:02Having fewer choices didn't make me feel
37:04poor.
37:05It made me feel decided. Most of the
37:08tiredness of a full closet isn't the
37:09clothes.
37:11It's the choosing every morning from
37:13things you don't even like.
37:15Now, the honest part.
37:17I only had my 2 weeks for this, not her
37:193 months, so I can't tell you how I felt
37:21in week 11.
37:23And the method is built around seasons.
37:2633 pieces for a Minnesota winter is a
37:28different job from 33 pieces for a
37:31Florida summer. And if you live where
37:33the weather turns in October, you'll
37:35want to choose your 3 months carefully.
37:37Also, 33 is her number, not a law.
37:41I think for a lot of people over 60, the
37:43lesson lands with 40 or 45 just as well.
37:47The number isn't the point. The box is
37:49the point.
37:50When I opened the boxes at the end of 2
37:52weeks, I'd missed exactly one thing, a
37:55dark blue sweater, and I put it back.
37:58The rest I sat and looked at for a
37:59while, and about half of it went to the
38:01donation center the following week. Not
38:04because a rule told me to, because I'd
38:06lived without them for 2 weeks and I'd
38:08been fine, and now I knew. So, my
38:10verdict on method eight, Project 333, is
38:14part. I didn't keep the 33, and I don't
38:17live that way now,
38:18but I kept the box.
38:20Anything I'm not sure about goes in a
38:22box at the top of the closet with the
38:24date on it. And if I haven't opened the
38:26box in a season, I don't open it then,
38:28either.
38:29I take it to the car. That's eight done,
38:32two to go.
38:33And before method nine, tell me in the
38:35comments which of these you've already
38:37tried, and whether it stuck, because I'd
38:39like to know if it was only me who lost
38:41the 30-day game.
38:43Method number nine is 12 12 12, a A you
38:47can finish in 20 minutes, and it's built
38:49so you can't lose. The 12 12 12
38:52challenge comes from Joshua Becker, who
38:54writes a blog called Becoming
38:55Minimalist, which he started in 2008
38:58after a neighbor said something to him
39:00while he was cleaning out his garage one
39:02Saturday, and it changed how he thought
39:04about everything he owned.
39:05>> [music]
39:05>> The challenge is this: Find 12 things to
39:08throw away, find 12 things to give away,
39:12and find 12 things that are in the wrong
39:14place and put them back where they
39:15belong. 36 things, three groups, and
39:18you're done.
39:20What I liked immediately is the third
39:2212. Every other method on this list is
39:25about things leaving the house. This one
39:27admits that half of the mess in most
39:29houses isn't too much stuff. It's stuff
39:32in the wrong room. The scissors in the
39:34bedroom.
39:35The reading glasses in the kitchen.
39:37>> [music]
39:37>> The tape measure that's been on the
39:39dining table since the shelves went up.
39:41Those 12 took me longer than the other
39:4324 put together, because I had to carry
39:45each one somewhere, and it made more
39:47difference to how the house looked than
39:49the 24 that left.
39:51I did it four times over the two weeks,
39:53roughly every third day, and I want to
39:55tell you how it changed. The first time
39:58was easy, about 20 minutes.
40:00The second time was still easy.
40:03By the fourth time, the throw away 12
40:05was hard to find, which is a good sign,
40:08and the give away 12 was getting into
40:09things I actually had to think about.
40:12But the put back 12 was easy every
40:14single time.
40:16There are always 12 things in the wrong
40:18room.
40:19That told me something about my house
40:21that none of the other methods had. My
40:23problem wasn't only how much I owned. It
40:26was that things didn't have a fixed
40:27place, so they drifted, and the drift
40:30looked like clutter.
40:32So, after the second round, I made a
40:34rule that isn't in his challenge.
40:36Whenever one of the 12 couldn't go back
40:38where it lived because it didn't live
40:40anywhere, I gave it a home on the spot.
40:43The tape measure got a hook inside the
40:44pantry door.
40:46The reading glasses got a small dish on
40:48the side table where I read. The spare
40:50keys got a nail by the back door.
40:53That took about a minute each, and those
40:55three things have not drifted since
40:57because now there's somewhere for them
40:58to drift back to.
41:00Each round of 12 found me two or three
41:02homeless things, and by the fourth round
41:04the house had about 10 new addresses in
41:06it, and it was a different house.
41:09What didn't work?
41:10It's a small method, and on its own it
41:12won't clear a garage or a basement, and
41:14he doesn't claim it will.
41:16It's a Tuesday evening, not a plan, and
41:1912 is a round number, not a careful one.
41:22Some days you'll have four things to
41:23throw away and 20 in the wrong room, and
41:26the challenge doesn't bend.
41:28So, my verdict on method nine, 12 12 12,
41:31is part. I kept it, but I changed it.
41:35I dropped the first two 12s because the
41:3827 things already does that job once a
41:40month.
41:41I kept the third one. 12 things back
41:44where they live on any evening when the
41:46house feels wrong and I can't say why.
41:49It takes 10 minutes, and the feeling
41:50goes away.
41:52That's nine done. One more method, and
41:54then I'll give you the full scoreboard,
41:56and after that, the one thing I want you
41:58to do tonight, which takes 4 minutes and
42:00decides nothing and starts everything.
42:03The last method, number 10, is the one
42:06you've seen on every printable checklist
42:08in America with nobody's name on it.
42:11Method number 10 is the four boxes, the
42:13one everybody knows, and I'm going to
42:15tell you why it almost never works.
42:18Nobody invented the four-box method.
42:20It's been in magazines and on checklists
42:23and in the back of organizing books for
42:24as long as I can remember.
42:26You set out four boxes or four bags.
42:29Keep, donate, trash, and relocate or put
42:34away for the things that belong in
42:36another room.
42:37Then you go through the room, and every
42:39single thing goes into one of the four
42:41boxes. Nothing goes back on the shelf
42:43until it's been sorted.
42:45It sounds like the most sensible method
42:47on the list.
42:49Here's what happened when I did it.
42:51I set up the four boxes in the living
42:53room on a Saturday morning, and by 11:00
42:55I had a keep box that was overflowing, a
42:58relocate box that was half full, a
43:00donate box with nine things in it, and a
43:03trash box with a broken pen and a dead
43:05battery.
43:06Then I stood there and looked at the
43:08keep box.
43:09>> [music]
43:09>> And I realized the four-box method had
43:11done absolutely nothing.
43:13Everything in the keep box was going
43:15back exactly where it came from.
43:18I'd spent 2 hours taking everything off
43:20the shelves and putting it into a box so
43:22I could put it back on the shelves.
43:24The method doesn't ask you a question.
43:26It just gives you four places to put
43:28things. And when you're not sure, the
43:30keep box is right there, and keep is
43:33always the easiest answer.
43:35By the end of the 2 weeks, the four-box
43:37method had sent fewer things out of my
43:39house than any method I tried. Three
43:41bags. That's less than the 15-minute
43:44fling. And there was a second problem,
43:46which I only noticed at the end of the
43:48day.
43:49The four boxes make you take the whole
43:51room apart to use them.
43:53>> [music]
43:53>> By 1:00, every shelf was empty, and
43:56every box was full. And now I had to put
43:58the keep box back, which took another
44:01hour, and it went back in a worse order
44:03than it came out because I was tired and
44:05it was late.
44:07My living room on Saturday evening
44:08looked like it did on Saturday morning,
44:10except now I knew exactly what was in
44:12it, and I didn't like it any more than
44:14before.
44:15I did it with the garage too, and that
44:17was different, and I'll tell you why in
44:19a moment.
44:20Here's what I think is going on. The
44:22four boxes are a sorting system, and
44:25sorting is not deciding.
44:27A method that works has to make you
44:28decide, and this one lets you avoid it.
44:31So, is it any good for anything? Yes, in
44:35one situation.
44:36A room that's a real disaster, where you
44:38can't see the floor and you don't know
44:40what's in there. Then four boxes give
44:42you somewhere to start, and the relocate
44:44box at least is useful because a lot of
44:46what's in a disaster room belongs
44:48somewhere else.
44:49My garage went through the four boxes
44:51and came out better, mostly because of
44:53relocate.
44:55My living room came out the same as it
44:56went in with a Saturday lost.
44:59So my verdict on method 10, the four
45:01boxes is gone. If you're going to use
45:04four boxes, lose the keep box.
45:07Three boxes only. If it isn't trash,
45:10donate, or wrong room, you have to put
45:12it back on the shelf right now with your
45:14own hands, and you'll find you put back
45:16a lot less when there's no box to hide
45:18it in.
45:19And that's all 10.
45:21Now let me add it up for you.
45:23After 20 weeks, 10 methods, and a
45:25notebook full of numbers, here's what
45:27survived.
45:28>> [music]
45:29>> Let me count it up for you.
45:30From Marie Kondo, I kept the order,
45:33clothes first, and sentimental things
45:35last, and the folding. I let go of the
45:37joy question and the big pile. From
45:40Swedish death cleaning, I kept almost
45:42everything.
45:43Big things first,
45:45>> [music]
45:45>> give things to real people while you're
45:46alive, and tell your family what you're
45:48doing.
45:49From the 30-day game, I kept the first
45:5115 days and stopped before the counting
45:54took over. From the minimalists, I kept
45:56the 90/90 rule and the 20/20 rule, and
45:59I'll do the packing party with one room
46:01once and never again. From Dana White, I
46:04kept the whole thing. The container
46:06decides, the two questions, and don't
46:09make a mess to clean a mess.
46:11From Peter Walsh, the vision for the
46:13room and the backwards hangers every
46:15January.
46:17From FlyLady, 27 things once a month.
46:20From Project 333, the box with the date
46:23on it.
46:24From Joshua Becker, 12 things back where
46:27they live. And the four boxes, I let go.
46:30So what do the ones I kept have in
46:32common? I sat with the notebook for a
46:34long evening trying to answer that, and
46:36I think it comes to this.
46:38Every method that worked took the
46:39decision away from my feelings and gave
46:41it to something I could see.
46:43The shelf is full, so the shelf decides.
46:46The hanger is backwards, so the hanger
46:48decides.
46:49The box was never opened, so the box
46:51decides.
46:53I'd look for it there, so it lives
46:54there. And every method that failed
46:57asked me to feel something about each
46:59object one at a time. And I'm 63 and
47:01I've got 3,000 objects, and I don't have
47:04that many feelings.
47:06That was the thing my mother knew. She
47:08never asked whether something sparked
47:10joy. She asked whether it had a place
47:13and whether it had a job and if it had
47:15both, it stayed. And if it had neither,
47:18it went. And she never seemed to find
47:20any of it hard.
47:22But before I give you the system, I have
47:24to tell you about the five things that
47:26stopped every single method.
47:28Because all 10 of them worked fine on a
47:30drawer of pens. Where they ran into
47:32trouble was the same five places every
47:35time. And if I don't deal with those, I
47:37haven't kept my promise.
47:40There were five kinds of things in my
47:41house that beat all 10 methods, and I'd
47:44bet they're the same five in yours.
47:46The first is paper.
47:48Every method on this list has a plan for
47:50sweaters and almost nothing to say about
47:52the drawer of papers. And the drawer of
47:54papers is where most people give up.
47:57Here's what I found works. Paper has
47:59only three kinds. Things you must keep
48:02like deeds, wills, tax papers for the
48:05last seven years, and insurance. Things
48:07you need for a little while, like a bill
48:09that isn't paid yet or a letter you have
48:11to answer.
48:13And everything else.
48:14Everything else is almost all of it.
48:17Owners manuals for things you can look
48:18up online. Receipts for things that
48:21stopped being returnable in 2019.
48:24Bank statements you can print again in 2
48:25minutes.
48:27Greeting cards, which I'll come back to.
48:30I did the must keep pile in one envelope
48:32folder with a label and it fit.
48:35The for now pile lives in a single tray
48:36by the phone. And when the tray is full,
48:39that's the signal, not the calendar.
48:42And everything else went in a bag over
48:44three evenings and I did not read it
48:46>> [music]
48:46>> because reading old paper is how an
48:48evening disappears.
48:50The second thing is gifts. The method
48:52says it goes, but the method didn't get
48:54it from your sister. Here's what I
48:56settled on and it's something my mother
48:58used to say about presents. The gift was
49:01the moment, not the thing. When your
49:03sister gave you the vase, the gift was
49:05that she thought of you, and that moment
49:07has already happened, and it's yours
49:09forever.
49:10The vase is just what's left over. She
49:13doesn't want you to keep a vase you
49:14dislike on a shelf for 20 years out of
49:16duty. If you'd feel better, give it to
49:19someone who'd love it, and then the gift
49:21gets to be a gift twice.
49:23The third thing is the things that
49:25belong to someone you've lost. I'm not
49:28going to tell you to be quick about
49:29these because I wasn't. But I'll tell
49:31you what helped. Keep the few things
49:34that were really them.
49:36My wife's reading glasses, which are
49:38still on her side of the bed, and her
49:40cookbook with her writing in it. Those
49:42stay for as long as I'm here. The 31
49:45scarves were not her.
49:47They were things she owned, and I kept
49:49the two she wore most, and her sister
49:51has three, and the rest are keeping
49:53somebody warm this winter who never met
49:55her, and I think she'd be pleased about
49:57that. Keep the person. Let go of the
50:00inventory. And do these last when you've
50:03had practice, and not alone if you can
50:05help it. The fourth thing is the
50:07kitchen. The kitchen beat every method
50:09because the kitchen is where
50:11just-in-case lives. The bread machine,
50:14just in case. The fondue set, just in
50:17case.
50:18The 12 wine glasses, just in case 12
50:21people come.
50:23So, in the kitchen, I use the 20/20 rule
50:25and nothing else.
50:27If I could replace it for under $20 in
50:30under 20 minutes, I don't store it for a
50:32day that may never come.
50:34And for the big things, the bread
50:36machine, the roasting pan, I use the box
50:39with the date on it. If a full year goes
50:41by and the box stayed shut, the day
50:43never came, and it isn't coming. The
50:46kitchen is such a big subject on its own
50:48that I wrote a separate book just for
50:50it.
50:51It takes you through every cupboard and
50:52drawer, what my mother kept, what she
50:54never bought, and how she cooked for
50:56five people out of a kitchen smaller
50:58than most American bathrooms.
51:01If your kitchen is the room that beats
51:02you, that's the one to get, and it's on
51:05the same page as the home book at
51:07unclakenjibooks.com.
51:09The QR code is on your screen, and the
51:11link is in the description.
51:13The fifth thing is the hardest, and
51:15nobody on the list talks about it.
51:18It's the things you bought for the
51:19person you meant to become.
51:22The golf clubs, the exercise bike, the
51:25Spanish course, the good camera. Every
51:28one of those is a small plan you had for
51:30yourself, and letting it go feels like
51:32admitting the plan is over. Here's what
51:34I'd say to you about that, and it's what
51:36I finally said to myself about the golf
51:38clubs.
51:39The plan was fine. The person who made
51:41it was hopeful, and there's nothing
51:43wrong with hope.
51:45But keeping the clubs doesn't keep the
51:46plan alive.
51:48It just keeps the guilt alive. The clubs
51:50went to a boy down the street who plays
51:52every Saturday, and I feel better about
51:54golf now than I did in all the years
51:56they stood in my garage. So, those are
51:58the five.
52:00Paper, gifts, the things of someone
52:02you've lost, the kitchen, and the person
52:04you meant to be.
52:06Every method skip them, and every house
52:08is full of them.
52:10Now I can give you the system, and it's
52:11the reason I said you won't need another
52:13one.
52:14Here is the whole thing in five parts,
52:17and the first part is the order. Part
52:19one, the order.
52:21Big things first, and the garage, the
52:23attic, and the basement before any room
52:25you live in.
52:26That's from Sweden, and it's right
52:29because big things are easy to decide
52:31about, and they make the house feel
52:32different in one afternoon.
52:34Then the rooms you see first when you
52:36walk in, which is Dana's rule.
52:38Then clothes, then books, then papers,
52:41[music] which is Marie Kondo's order,
52:43and it's a good one.
52:44And photographs, letters, and anything
52:47that belonged to someone you've lost.
52:49Last of all, when you've had some
52:50practice.
52:52Never first.
52:53Part two, the lid. Every container in
52:56your house is a lid on how much you can
52:58own.
53:00The mug shelf, the coat hooks, the
53:01bookshelf, the closet rail.
53:04When it's full, you don't add storage.
53:07You choose your favorites until it's
53:08full and the rest leaves. In my mother's
53:11house, this wasn't a rule.
53:13It was just the house. The cupboard had
53:15a certain number of spaces and when they
53:17were full, a new thing couldn't come in
53:20unless an old thing went out. She never
53:22had to decide to be disciplined about
53:24it. The cupboard decided for her.
53:27Part three, the two questions, which
53:29I'll say one more time because they're
53:31the most useful sentences in this video.
53:34If I needed this, where would I look for
53:36it first?
53:37Take it there now.
53:39And if you can't think of anywhere, then
53:41would I even remember I owned it?
53:44If not, it goes. That's Dana White and
53:47it's also a very old Japanese idea that
53:50everything in a house has one address
53:52and a thing without an address is
53:54already halfway out the door. Part four,
53:57give it to a person.
53:59When something leaves, try to give it to
54:00someone you know while you can see them
54:02use it.
54:03The treadmill to the neighbor's son. The
54:06tea set to my daughter.
54:08There's a Japanese word, mottainai, for
54:10the sadness of something useful going to
54:12waste and the cure for it isn't keeping
54:15the thing.
54:16It's making sure it gets used.
54:19A coat in a stranger's donation pile
54:21might get used. A coat on your nephew's
54:24back definitely will and you'll never
54:26once wish you'd kept it.
54:28Part five, the empty space.
54:31Once a shelf is cleared, leave part of
54:33it empty on purpose.
54:35In Japan, there's a word for a gap you
54:37leave deliberately, ma, and it's treated
54:40as part of the design, not as a space
54:42you failed to fill.
54:43In practice, it means the top of the
54:45dresser has two things on it and not
54:47nine.
54:48That empty space is the finishing line.
54:51It's how you know a room is done, the
54:53way a clean sink tells you the kitchen
54:55is closed for the night.
54:56And then there are three habits that
54:58keep it that way and they're the only
55:00three you need. On the first Saturday of
55:02the month, 27 things in a bag, out to
55:05the car, nine minutes.
55:07On any evening the house feels wrong, 12
55:10things back where they live. And every
55:12January, every hanger turned backwards.
55:15And in July, the ones still backwards go
55:18in a box with the date on it.
55:20That's the whole system. Five parts to
55:22clear the house, three habits to keep it
55:25clear, and not one of them asks you how
55:27you feel.
55:28Let me show you what a week of it looks
55:30like, so you can see it isn't a job.
55:33Monday, nothing.
55:35Tuesday, the house felt wrong after my
55:38grandson's visit, so 12 things went back
55:40where they live, 19 minutes, and it felt
55:43right again.
55:44Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, nothing.
55:48Saturday morning, the laundry's in, the
55:50bags on the counter, 27 things out to
55:53the car, and I drop them off on the way
55:55to the market.
55:56Sunday, nothing. That's it. About 20
56:00minutes in the whole week, and some
56:01weeks it's zero, and the house doesn't
56:04fill back up because the lids are on.
56:06The mug shelf still holds 12. The closet
56:09rail is still half full with air on it.
56:12When something new comes in, there's
56:13nowhere for it to hide, so it has to
56:16earn its place or leave, and the house
56:18does that deciding, not me.
56:20My own house took about 2 months to get
56:22all the way through, after 20 weeks of
56:24other people's methods had already done
56:26a lot of the work.
56:28Yours might take three, or it might take
56:30a year if you go the Swedish way and do
56:32it slowly, and both of those are fine.
56:34The methods that failed me all promised
56:36a weekend. The ones that worked didn't
56:38promise anything. They just kept going.
56:42You don't have to start the whole thing
56:43tonight, and I don't want you to.
56:45Here's what I'd like you to do instead.
56:47Go to your closet and turn every hanger
56:50backwards. Every single one. It takes
56:53about 4 minutes, and it decides nothing.
56:56It just starts the clock. Then put a
56:58note in your phone with today's date and
57:00the words 6 months,
57:03and then go and sit down, because that's
57:05enough for tonight. In 6 months, you'll
57:07open that closet, and the hangers will
57:09tell you something true about your life
57:11that no method, no book, and no man on
57:14YouTube could have told you.
57:16And by then, you'll have done the garage
57:18and the 27 things and the two questions,
57:21because once the hangers are turned, the
57:23rest comes easier than you'd think.
57:25I promised this would be the last
57:26decluttering video you'd need.
57:29Not because I've said everything,
57:31because after this one, you know which
57:33advice to keep and which to let go. And
57:35you know that the right method for your
57:37house is the one that still works on a
57:39tired Wednesday evening when you don't
57:41feel like deciding anything.
57:43So, tell me in the comments which part
57:45you're starting with.
57:46>> [music]
57:46>> And if there's one method I didn't try
57:48that you swear by, tell me that, too,
57:50because I'll try it and I'll report
57:52back.
57:53If this helped, tap the like button so
57:55it finds somebody else's closet and
57:57subscribe, because there's a lot more of
57:59my mother's house still to share.
58:01And if you like this one, you'll love
58:03the one on your screen right now. I'll
58:05see you there.

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