The Dating Crisis Started With Social Media — Transcript

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1. 0:00Getting smartphones and social media
2. 0:03away from children who are going through
3. 0:06puberty or about to go through puberty
4. 0:08is the single most important thing we
5. 0:11can do in the world.
6. 0:15If you for those of you who think I'm
7. 0:17making this up, if you are over the age
8. 0:19of 40 and you've had a conversation with
9. 0:20somebody who's suffering from severe
10. 0:22anxiety or AD ADHD and you can't figure
11. 0:25out why you you when you were in your
12. 0:2720s, you weren't like this. It is almost
13. 0:29entirely, it's entirely due to their
14. 0:33addiction to their phones. We know, we
15. 0:36all know in general this addiction to
16. 0:38your phone problem. We all know it kind
17. 0:40of exists. I don't think we understand
18. 0:42how bad it is because a lot of us,
19. 0:44especially those of you who are around
20. 0:45the age of 30, you went through maybe
21. 0:47the end of puberty with a cell phone.
22. 0:49I'm talking about kids who were on
23. 0:51social media before they were 10,
24. 0:54who spent their entire their entire
25. 0:56formative years basically being raised
26. 0:58by and indoctrinated through Tik Tok.
27. 1:00The damage it does to people is I I'm
28. 1:04I'm not going to say irreparable. That's
29. 1:05not the word that Jonathan Height uses,
30. 1:07but it's very bad. And what it does is
31. 1:10it has downstream ramifications. The
32. 1:12reason why this is what this is ultimate
33. 1:14conclusion. I'm skipping ahead here. But
34. 1:16the reason why so many women today have
35. 1:18such a negative view of men and and not
36. 1:21quite as many men have a negative view
37. 1:23of women. I'll make that argument later.
38. 1:24I truly don't think as nearly as many
39. 1:26men have a negative view of women as the
40. 1:28other way around. But the reason why so
41. 1:30many women have such a negative view of
42. 1:31men is because of the brain rot induced
43. 1:34on them through social media in general
44. 1:37and Tik Tok specifically. They're
45. 1:40getting their information. You guys saw
46. 1:41those clips, the Lindsay Clancy stuff.
47. 1:43How many people like for anybody who
48. 1:45thinks that Patrick Clancy murdered his
49. 1:48children instead of Lindsay Clancy, you
50. 1:50are a narcissist or have a mental
51. 1:52disorder. You You just You have a mental
52. 1:54disorder. It's not even up for judgment.
53. 1:56You just do you understand? There's
54. 1:57something wrong with you mentally to
55. 1:59believe that. And then when you talk to
56. 2:00these women, where do you get your news?
57. 2:01Well, I'm educated on this. Where do you
58. 2:02get your news? The answer is almost
59. 2:04ubiquitous. It's almost always Tik Tok.
60. 2:07Okay? It's creating a level of brain
61. 2:09rot. The difference is for someone like
62. 2:11me, I'm 49. I'm turning 49 in a couple
63. 2:14weeks. I was 30 years old when I got my
64. 2:17first Oh, not 39. I was 29. Uh I was a I
65. 2:20was a first lieutenant in the military.
66. 2:22I'd already fought several combat
67. 2:23missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. Um I
68. 2:26was I was doing counter intelligence for
69. 2:28the military. Well, for some of you may
70. 2:30not think that my brain ever formed, but
71. 2:32as much as it was going to form, it had
72. 2:33formed. Okay? I had a fully functioning
73. 2:35brain by the time I got my first cell
74. 2:37phone and the time they put Facebook on
75. 2:39the on the uh the Facebook app on the
76. 2:41iPhone. Okay, if I had had that level of
77. 2:44access when I was 14, when I was 12, I
78. 2:48can't imagine how different my brain
79. 2:50would have developed. Let me say this
80. 2:52for the third time. Getting social media
81. 2:56and smartphones out of the hands of kids
82. 3:00is the single most important thing we
83. 3:02can do as a society. Period.
84. 3:06Period. It outweighs everything. It
85. 3:08outweighs the war in Iran. It outweighs
86. 3:10inflation. It outweighs everything.
87. 3:13And for those of you, any of you who are
88. 3:15educators who are listening to me say
89. 3:17this right now, they're just like, "Yes,
90. 3:19he's right. He's right. Yes, he's right.
91. 3:21He's right." You don't have you
92. 3:22understand how bad these kids are. He's
93. 3:24right. All the educators are like, "Yes,
94. 3:25yes, yes, he's right. These these all of
95. 3:28you who have children who are addicted
96. 3:30to your addicted to these phones, who
97. 3:32are sneaking off, these kids are 9, 10
98. 3:34years old looking at corn. They're like,
99. 3:36"Yeah, he's right. No, he's right. Yeah,
100. 3:38they're agreeing with me 100%." Those of
101. 3:40you who are older, you're like, "Nah,
102. 3:42social media is not that bad." No, it's
103. 3:44not that bad for you because you grew up
104. 3:46with a normal pub. You went through
105. 3:48normal puberty.
106. 3:50You didn't go through virtual puberty
107. 3:52like these kids did. You don't
108. 3:53understand how bad it is. And so you
109. 3:55guys still don't understand how bad it
110. 3:56is. So today I'm going to show you
111. 4:00>> or you know, oh did I get any email? I
112. 4:02go check my I mean I check my email you
113. 4:03know probably 40 50 times a day and I
114. 4:05know that's terrible. So the question is
115. 4:07is it a compos?
116. 4:09>> Here we go guys. This is Jonathan
117. 4:10height. He's on the Andrew Kuberman
118. 4:12podcast. I want you to hear this.
119. 4:13>> Talk to us about the scary statistics.
120. 4:16There's just no way around this. Yeah.
121. 4:17>> And we will talk about solutions. You
122. 4:19offer some incredible solutions in the
123. 4:21book. Actually, solutions that everyone
124. 4:23listening and watching can participate
125. 4:25in, not just by restriction. We'll talk
126. 4:28about what that means.
127. 4:28>> One of the solutions in the book is
128. 4:30exactly what Mayor Mandami did today.
129. 4:32>> Uh going forward, but where are we at
130. 4:36now and when did we start to see the
131. 4:38trend toward diminished mental health in
132. 4:41particular in girls?
133. 4:42>> Yeah.
134. 4:43>> So, feel free to hit us with the with
135. 4:45the scary truth.
136. 4:46>> Okay. I want to point this out because
137. 4:47you're going to see this repeated over
138. 4:48and over again. Social media, women,
139. 4:51especially young women, use social media
140. 4:53more than men do and they're more
141. 4:54affected by it. This is why when we go
142. 4:57over the male female interexual
143. 4:59dynamics, hypergamy, running a muck,
144. 5:01female selectivity, a sexless
145. 5:03generation, and there's all these
146. 5:04different excuses about men are falling
147. 5:06behind and men don't have jobs and e
148. 5:08economic opportunity. I think that's
149. 5:10part of it. I think what you see on the
150. 5:12screen right now is most of it.
151. 5:15>> Sure. So let's imagine so in the US we
152. 5:17have really good statistics based on
153. 5:19annual or bannual surveys. There's three
154. 5:21or four big ones that allow us to see
155. 5:24what's happened since the 70s. And so
156. 5:27what I'd like listeners to imagine is
157. 5:29imagine a bunch of lines, maybe a line
158. 5:31for boys, maybe a line a line for boys,
159. 5:32line for girls, showing the percentage
160. 5:34that suffer from anxiety, depression, or
161. 5:37that have self harm. Those three really
162. 5:38go together. And imagine these lines,
163. 5:41they move around a little bit, but
164. 5:42they're actually pretty stable from the
165. 5:431990s all the way through 2010, even
166. 5:462011. There's no sign of a problem on
167. 5:48some measures, they get
168. 5:50>> no sign of a problem till 2011. Does
169. 5:52anyone know where this is going?
170. 5:54>> A little bit better because
171. 5:56>> stable and low stable. Well,
172. 5:57>> what happened in remember in 2010, for
173. 5:59those of you who don't remember, 2010 is
174. 6:01the first time there's a front-facing
175. 6:02camera on the iPhone. 2011 is the advent
176. 6:06of in of Instagram. low, you know, if
177. 6:08it's if they're around say 12 15% of
178. 6:11girls uh qualify as having had a major
179. 6:13depression, you know, that's much higher
180. 6:14than we would like, um, that's a
181. 6:17problem, but it's nothing compared to
182. 6:19what it is today. So, the lines are
183. 6:21pretty flat until around 2012 and then
184. 6:25all of a sudden the lines for girls go
185. 6:27up like a hockey stick. It's not a
186. 6:29subtle thing. It really is. There's an
187. 6:31elbow. It's like somebody turned on a
188. 6:32light switch in 2012. Um, [snorts] now
189. 6:34that's for the American data. Um,
190. 6:36internationally you see very similar
191. 6:38things. It's not necessarily 2012 in
192. 6:40other countries, but the girls graphs
193. 6:42are very sharp. The boys are also up on
194. 6:44depression, anxiety, they're also way
195. 6:46up. Depending on the measure, it's
196. 6:48usually everything is in the ballpark of
197. 6:5050 to 150%. Almost all the numbers are
198. 6:52in that range. Um, we're not talking 10
199. 6:55or 20% increases here. For most things,
200. 6:57we're talking close to a doubling,
201. 6:59especially for the younger girls. The
202. 7:01boys curves, interestingly, are
203. 7:03smoother. that is the boys are more
204. 7:05depressed and anxious. It's not but it's
205. 7:08not 2012. It it actually often begins
206. 7:10more like 2009 2010 and then it just
207. 7:13keeps going up gradually. So that that's
208. 7:16a real clue. Um which we'll come back to
209. 7:18when we talk about the the boy story. Um
210. 7:21it a lot of people say, "Oh, you know,
211. 7:22it's just self-report." Um you know,
212. 7:24just Gen Z, they're really they're
213. 7:26really um positive about mental health
214. 7:29and they're willing to talk about it's a
215. 7:30good thing. But the fact that we see the
216. 7:33exact same curves, the very sharp uptick
217. 7:35for girls um in hospital admissions for
218. 7:38self harm, psychiatric emergency
219. 7:40department visits and we see this in the
220. 7:42US, Canada.
221. 7:44>> So the reason why he's bringing up that
222. 7:45point is because when we talk about like
223. 7:47a lot of people say, well, people are
224. 7:49reporting worse mental health because
225. 7:51they're reporting more me because people
226. 7:53are taking mental health more seriously.
227. 7:55And while that may be the case, what you
228. 7:56wouldn't see is more hospital visits.
229. 7:59That's a different more hospital visits
230. 8:00for self harm is an indication of
231. 8:02something that's not biased. Mean
232. 8:05meaning going to the hospital because
233. 8:06you try to harm yourself is not
234. 8:08self-reporting. Does that make sense?
235. 8:09That's why he's bringing up the
236. 8:10statistic and why it's so important.
237. 8:12>> Australia, New Zealand, uh the UK, um
238. 8:15the Scandinavian countries. So something
239. 8:18happened across the developed world um
240. 8:21around 2012. And I keep you know Gene
241. 8:25Twangi was the first to really raise the
242. 8:26alarm. She and I keep saying, well, you
243. 8:29know, we can't find another candidate.
244. 8:30Nothing else fits the pattern. Oh, and
245. 8:32there's actually not just correlational
246. 8:34data, there's experiment experimental
247. 8:36data, too. So, we think, you know, of
248. 8:38course, look, everything's complicated.
249. 8:40Mental health is complicated. If you
250. 8:42want to understand why one person is
251. 8:44depressed, there are going to be many
252. 8:45stories. But if you want to understand
253. 8:47why depression rates rose for girls
254. 8:49faster than boys all over the developed
255. 8:51world, unless someone can find like some
256. 8:54hormone disrupting chemical that was
257. 8:56suddenly sprayed over Northern Europe
258. 8:58and and the South Pacific and the US
259. 9:02and Canada around 2012, there is no
260. 9:05there is no alternative explanation.
261. 9:07>> So the alter the explanation would be
262. 9:09social media. If you look at big five
263. 9:11personality traits, some on some of them
264. 9:13they're called E for emotionality and
265. 9:15other ones it's N for neuroticism. Women
266. 9:17score higher on neurotic traits than men
267. 9:19do. So now you have this social media
268. 9:22apparatus that can trigger that [snorts]
269. 9:24neuroticism and that's why it would have
270. 9:26more of an effect on women than men. You
271. 9:28guys see how we're coming all the way
272. 9:30back to guys can't get a date dating
273. 9:32apps. We go to sexless community
274. 9:36content manosphere. You see, like what
275. 9:39I'm saying is this whole thing that
276. 9:41we're describing created in a way
277. 9:44created the female and the manosphere.
278. 9:46It created these things. Which is why
279. 9:48I'm going to go back to what I said
280. 9:49before. Keeping these cell phones,
281. 9:52keeping smartphones, dumb phones, I'm
282. 9:54fine with you texting your homie, hey,
283. 9:56let's go meet at the park and play
284. 9:57football. I'm fine with that. You can
285. 9:59have a dumb phone. I had a dumb phone
286. 10:00when I was, you know, around 2000, 2002.
287. 10:02I had a dumb phone. I'm fine with you
288. 10:04having a dumb phone. And I'm actually
289. 10:05fine with you playing video games with
290. 10:07your friends online. I'm actually fine
291. 10:08with you being on a computer and
292. 10:10actually typing a paper. Those are
293. 10:11different kind of screens. I'm fine with
294. 10:13you watching Netflix even, right? Other
295. 10:15than that propaganda like adolescence or
296. 10:17uh inside the manosphere. Other than
297. 10:19that propaganda, I'm fine with you
298. 10:20watching Netflix. F watch whatever you
299. 10:22want to watch. But it's specifically, I
300. 10:24don't mean all screens. I don't mean the
301. 10:26entire internet. I mean specifically
302. 10:28porn, dating apps, and uh social media.
303. 10:31Those are the big ones that are doing
304. 10:32the most damage. Now, obviously for
305. 10:34kids, dating apps are not big there, but
306. 10:35for those other two, they're very big.
307. 10:37And in some cases, it seems so crazy.
308. 10:38It's like, Michael, what are you talking
309. 10:39about? Corn for young kids. They're not
310. 10:41using it. No. In a lot of cases, they're
311. 10:43using it more than adults are. That's
312. 10:45the problem. That's the reason why in
313. 10:46some places like Utah and Texas, they
314. 10:48have to have this age verification. And
315. 10:49some of these state some of these
316. 10:50websites have just taken themselves out
317. 10:52of those states. And it's really it the
318. 10:55the bad is so bad that it doesn't
319. 10:58outweigh any of the good. It just it's
320. 11:00not even close. This is not even like a
321. 11:02close um idea. All right, let's go uh to
322. 11:05clip number two, guys. I want you to see
323. 11:07this one more time. I cannot express to
324. 11:08you enough if you have children please
325. 11:11please go check out the anxious
326. 11:12generation by Jonathan height the book
327. 11:14you can easily get the audio book it's
328. 11:16it's tremendous book I have never been
329. 11:18so alarmed about the society I live in
330. 11:20then after reading this book
331. 11:21>> Uberman okay so we've got three acts all
332. 11:25of which are tragedies
333. 11:26>> loss of community
334. 11:27>> right so community and trust is down
335. 11:29>> that's right then makes us not then act
336. 11:32two is we take away the play-based
337. 11:34childhood we're so afraid because we no
338. 11:36longer trust our neighbors
339. 11:37And then act three is as long as the
340. 11:40kids are are inside and and on on
341. 11:42computers already. Oh well now just a
342. 11:45smartphone and a tablet. These are just
343. 11:46cooler computers. Nothing wrong with
344. 11:48that, right? And that's what we
345. 11:50>> So you understand what he's saying? It's
346. 11:51like you being online like on your
347. 11:53computer and like looking up different
348. 11:55things for a research paper. That's not
349. 11:57what we're talking about because that's
350. 11:58not creating brain rot. That's not a
351. 12:00crazy dopamine hit. He's saying that
352. 12:01they were giving kids they were letting
353. 12:03kids educate themselves with computers
354. 12:05and then they're like, "Well, tablets
355. 12:06and smartphones are just uh they're just
356. 12:08a derivative of that. They're not.
357. 12:10They're not because of the social media
358. 12:12aspect to that."
359. 12:13>> We thought early on in the early 2010s,
360. 12:14we thought these things were miraculous.
361. 12:16Oh, you know, if my kids use them, maybe
362. 12:18they'll be the next Steve Jobs. Maybe
363. 12:20they'll, you know, they'll be really
364. 12:22technically sophisticated, we thought.
365. 12:24And it's not true.
366. 12:25>> And now we're in this third act of the
367. 12:26tragedy. you touched on some of the male
368. 12:30female differences. Um maybe you could
369. 12:32uh talk about those a little bit more.
370. 12:34So you said girls tend to focus more on
371. 12:36social dynamics, boys more on systems.
372. 12:38>> Um I've heard you say that the boys in
373. 12:41general
374. 12:42>> veer toward more, for lack of a better
375. 12:45way to put it, more on the spectrum type
376. 12:48behaviors. Could you elaborate on that?
377. 12:49>> Just so we go over this. Remember, if
378. 12:51you're uh if you're someone who uh
379. 12:53believes in gender studies or you're a
380. 12:55feminist who believes in not just total
381. 12:57equality outcome, but believe that the
382. 12:59the two genders or the two sexes, sorry,
383. 13:01I don't I almost got kicked off of
384. 13:03TikTok for saying those are only two
385. 13:04genders. Uh the two sexes, uh if you
386. 13:06believe that they're exactly the same,
387. 13:09then the idea that women would be more
388. 13:11affected by social media, you not only
389. 13:12do you reject the idea, you find it
390. 13:14offensive. It doesn't matter what the
391. 13:15data says, you find that whole idea
392. 13:17offensive. You would have to rec
393. 13:19recognize that there is a problem and
394. 13:21that there are innate biological sex
395. 13:24differences between men and women in
396. 13:25order for you to recognize that there is
397. 13:27a problem. What where does the problem
398. 13:29come from? Women suffer from neuroticism
399. 13:31more than men. But by the way, it's not
400. 13:32all suffering, right? Neuroticism is
401. 13:35what cared for our children for 200,000
402. 13:38years. Women being more neurotic than
403. 13:40men are part of the reasons why their
404. 13:42children, their offspring thrived,
405. 13:44because they were more protective over
406. 13:46their children. That's where neuroticism
407. 13:48comes from. I'm not saying it should be.
408. 13:50There's no is ought here. This is not is
409. 13:52ought. This is I'm not trying to support
410. 13:53the patriarchy here. I'm explaining to
411. 13:55you why these things exist. All right?
412. 13:57They exist. Why are women in general in
413. 13:59general? Obviously, there are women who
414. 14:01are not neurotic and not as neurotic.
415. 14:02And I know some incredibly neurotic men.
416. 14:05Well, I'm saying in general, why are
417. 14:06women more neurotic than men? And this
418. 14:08is the reason why. There's an
419. 14:09evolutionary explanation for this. It
420. 14:11doesn't make women bad or men good, but
421. 14:13it's an explanation. We take this this
422. 14:16innate difference and then we just
423. 14:18inject social media into it. FOMO, uh
424. 14:22feeling disgust about yourself, complete
425. 14:25like desire, jealousy, envy. We do this
426. 14:28so much. We have two things that it does
427. 14:30in general. Number one, he's going to
428. 14:31talk about, number two, he won't talk
429. 14:32about. The first thing that it does is
430. 14:34it makes women feel horrible about
431. 14:35themselves. And the second thing it does
432. 14:37is it makes average men look incredibly
433. 14:39unattractive to women. Incredibly
434. 14:41unattract. If you what the number one
435. 14:43things that social media did for women
436. 14:45is made them depressed. And the number
437. 14:46one thing that social media did to men
438. 14:48is made them look unattractive in
439. 14:51comparison to MG MGK and Drake
440. 14:54>> and how it impacts online um use and the
441. 14:57particular sites that they tend to
442. 14:58gravitate towards. And then on the on
443. 15:00the other side uh for girls.
444. 15:02>> Yeah. the the the one of the
445. 15:05psychological traits that is the biggest
446. 15:07differentiator between boys and girls
447. 15:08and between men and women. It's it's let
448. 15:11me state clearly the differences in
449. 15:13ability are generally pretty small and
450. 15:16they're few and far between. Differences
451. 15:19in interest are all over the place and
452. 15:21they're often very large and they're
453. 15:23true across cultures and some are true
454. 15:24across species. [snorts] Um it's it's
455. 15:27what do you enjoy? And so um and here
456. 15:30I'm drawing on the work of of Simon
457. 15:31Baron Cohen who's the cousin of Sasha
458. 15:33Baron Cohen.
459. 15:34>> Did you guys know that Sasha Baron Cohen
460. 15:36Ali G his uh his cousin is one of the
461. 15:38foremost psychologists in the world. Did
462. 15:40you guys know that he's a psychologist?
463. 15:41He talks about a lot of stuff including
464. 15:42sociopathy. Really great books. You guys
465. 15:44should check it out. um in the UK and
466. 15:47Baron Cohen's work on autism shows that
467. 15:50um um you know because of prenatal
468. 15:54effects prenatal testosterone changing
469. 15:56the body changing the brain we all start
470. 15:58off as girls in uterero after conception
471. 16:01but then the 10th week of gestation if
472. 16:03there's a Y chromosome it triggers a
473. 16:05little bit of uh of a
474. 16:06>> Okay guys I want to go down this path so
475. 16:09bad for those of you who don't know what
476. 16:11he's talking about pre uh prenatal
477. 16:13testosterone like testosterone in
478. 16:15uterero is an incredibly interesting
479. 16:19subject to go over. There's some data
480. 16:21that goes over when women get excessive
481. 16:23levels of testosterone in uterero, they
482. 16:25tend to when they're born, they tend to
483. 16:27be more far more likely to be sexually
484. 16:29attracted to women. You guys can look
485. 16:32this data if you don't believe me. The
486. 16:33book is in it's not out in the United
487. 16:35States yet. It won't be out until the US
488. 16:36till next year, but you guys can buy it
489. 16:38online and have it delivered. It's
490. 16:39called a billion years of sex
491. 16:40differences by Steve Stewart Williams.
492. 16:43You can also watch my interview with
493. 16:44Steve Stewart Williams, a phenomenal
494. 16:47book that goes over how these
495. 16:49differences uh uh work. Guys, see how we
496. 16:51we right here we're at differences. We
497. 16:54started off with no cell phones or AI
498. 16:57for kids in school, but we have to
499. 16:59recognize the differences to see how the
500. 17:02cell phones affect the sexist
501. 17:03difference. And we're using data to
502. 17:05support it. And we're using data from
503. 17:09political leftists. We're using we're
504. 17:10using political progressive academics
505. 17:13like Jonathan Height and I assume
506. 17:14Jonathan Height is a liberal only
507. 17:16because he does a podcast with with
508. 17:18Scott Galloway. I'm just assuming is I
509. 17:20I've listened to him talk before and I
510. 17:21assume he is. But um but then again he
511. 17:24also did write the coddling of the
512. 17:25American mind. So I could be wrong.
513. 17:26Maybe he's not a liberal. But uh
514. 17:28watching this watching this whole
515. 17:29situation happen, what I'm telling you
516. 17:31is I am just so impressed
517. 17:34uh with the fact that we again Deborah
518. 17:36So, Jonathan Height, Scott Galloway,
519. 17:39Richard Reeves, we probably we don't see
520. 17:42eye to eye politically and yet we all
521. 17:45agree on this issue. This is where this
522. 17:47is coming from. Um we got one more clip
523. 17:50uh coming from that. But guys, that
524. 17:51whole thing about prenatal testosterone,
525. 17:53if you guys want to get deep into the
526. 17:55evolutionary studies, um, it's a
527. 17:57possible explanation for alternative
528. 18:00sexual sexual orientations, meaning it's
529. 18:02an it looks like it might explain where
530. 18:04a lot of how a lot of women become
531. 18:06attracted to women, and it might explain
532. 18:08how men become attracted to men, meaning
533. 18:09it's not necessarily genetic, it's
534. 18:11actually hormonal, but I don't want to
535. 18:12go too far into that. Um, I had a debate
536. 18:14about that with somebody, and they got
537. 18:15uh they did not like that answer. Let's
538. 18:17go one more here. Uh, give me one
539. 18:19second. The uh third one is uh 110 and
540. 18:25let's go right here.
541. 18:31Um
542. 18:32uh guys, real quick, put a one in the
543. 18:34chat if you like these deeply academic
544. 18:36discussions. Like we can still we can
545. 18:38still say cuss words, we can still talk
546. 18:40We can still laugh. And we
547. 18:42obviously guys, we're gonna we're gonna
548. 18:43react to some funny videos here in a
549. 18:44little bit, but put a one in the chat if
550. 18:46you like the idea because remember,
551. 18:48we're we're the we're the manosphere on
552. 18:49this side. I don't even care about being
553. 18:51in the manosphere. If you told me I was
554. 18:52in the manosphere tomorrow, I wouldn't
555. 18:54care at all. But what do they say about
556. 18:56all of us on the right, all of us in the
557. 18:57we don't use data. We don't know how to
558. 18:59use data. There's a video out right now.
559. 19:00I just somebody sent it to me. This dude
560. 19:02is lying and saying that I got some data
561. 19:04wrong or whatever when I didn't. He just
562. 19:06he doesn't know how to actually read a
563. 19:08chart. And it's just it's so crazy.
564. 19:09Thank you guys. I appreciate this. I
565. 19:11respect my audience. I respect you guys
566. 19:13enough to to know, hey man, we want to
567. 19:15laugh. We want to have a good time. But
568. 19:16let's have some databacked discussions
569. 19:18and I do appreciate you guys. And al
570. 19:20also when I say something wrong, I'm
571. 19:22also willing to own it. Like for
572. 19:23instance, I did say something wrong. Um
573. 19:25when I first got this one piece of data,
574. 19:26you guys know I'm very very myopic. I
575. 19:28have contact lenses in right now. I
576. 19:30can't read what's in front of me right
577. 19:31now because it's too close. I read the
578. 19:33word Hans Larsson when it was Mads
579. 19:35Lararsson on one piece of data. So
580. 19:37instead of h an instead of mads I said I
581. 19:39wrote h ans. It's my fault. I totally
582. 19:42own that. So sometimes I'll make
583. 19:43mistakes and I'll own up to the
584. 19:45mistakes. But then other people will
585. 19:46they will not own up to their mistakes
586. 19:48when they blatantly lie. But I do
587. 19:49appreciate the fact that you guys
588. 19:51appreciate that we are a moderate source
589. 19:53of academicbacked content when it comes
590. 19:56to interexual dynamics and when it comes
591. 19:57to evolutionary studies. And one more
592. 19:59time, shout out to Dr. David Bus. He
593. 20:01wrote me yesterday the one of the David
594. 20:03Bus is my he's my new 70year-old friend.
595. 20:05He's my new He's He David Bus is my new
596. 20:08fa he's one of my favorite people, dude.
597. 20:10He was such a Obviously, you guys know I
598. 20:11I read I quote him all the time. Getting
599. 20:13to meet him in person was one of the
600. 20:14coolest things ever.
601. 20:15>> So, you've got these social dynamics
602. 20:18that are very um heightened being played
603. 20:20out on social media with with girls, but
604. 20:24boys and men are on there as well. And
605. 20:28most of what's on social media is
606. 20:30social. It's relational. So, are boys
607. 20:32and men being drawn more toward those
608. 20:35sorts of interactions? And how well are
609. 20:36they navigating those interactions? Is
610. 20:38it common for boys to make big mistakes
611. 20:41online and um and then be shunned as a
612. 20:44consequence or is this more common in um
613. 20:47>> females? Yeah. Know that that's a good
614. 20:49question. Um life online is performative
615. 20:54for girls. A much bigger element of the
616. 20:56performance is perfectionism about the
617. 20:58image. So girls spend a lot more time
618. 21:02choosing a photograph, editing a
619. 21:03photograph, making sure everything's
620. 21:05perfect. Whereas guys,
621. 21:06>> what does that sound like, guys?
622. 21:07Spending more time choosing the
623. 21:09photograph, making sure the photograph
624. 21:11is perfect. What's that called? There's
625. 21:13a term for that. We talked about it
626. 21:15earlier. Starts with an N. Neuroticism.
627. 21:18That's what we're talking about. It
628. 21:19doesn't mean that they're bad. It
629. 21:20doesn't mean that they're wrong. I love
630. 21:22the fact when if you're dating a
631. 21:23beautiful woman and she takes the time
632. 21:25to look incredibly beautiful for you,
633. 21:26you appreciate that as a man. But it the
634. 21:29reason why that happens sometimes you
635. 21:31guys put a one in the chat. If you've
636. 21:32ever had a girl, you're dating a girl,
637. 21:34she's phenomenally beautiful and she
638. 21:35takes forever to get ready and an hour
639. 21:37before she was ready ready. She was
640. 21:39already so hot and she didn't need to do
641. 21:40anything else but she needed another
642. 21:42hour to get ready. Put a one in the chat
643. 21:43if that's ever happened to you. Why is
644. 21:45that? is because in general women have
645. 21:48have more emotionality or more they
646. 21:50score higher on emotionality and in
647. 21:52personality traits and they score higher
648. 21:54in neuroticism. That's where that comes
649. 21:56from
650. 21:57>> is you know like I literally don't
651. 21:58notice if my socks don't match. My wife
652. 22:00has to tell me your socks don't match.
653. 22:02Um you know guys just don't notice those
654. 22:04things as much. So
655. 22:05>> you're a professor after professor I
656. 22:07suppose. Yeah. But my point is that
657. 22:09>> is that life online it does affect all
658. 22:11kids. So fear of missing out is
659. 22:13something that affects everybody. You
660. 22:14know on Snapchat you see all your
661. 22:16friends over there and you didn't even
662. 22:17know that there was something going on.
663. 22:19So you know boys and again boys and
664. 22:21girls they'll have similar insecurities.
665. 22:23It's more a question of degree. So the
666. 22:26the the perfectionism the the playing
667. 22:28out the social dynamics to three steps
668. 22:31like girls are playing three-dimensional
669. 22:32chess about social relationships.
670. 22:35But why did he say that if he also
671. 22:38wanted this when she he knows that she
672. 22:40knows that you know and God's like what
673. 22:42what do you
674. 22:43>> you know the other thing is I think with
675. 22:44the lowering of testosterone rates and
676. 22:47the coddling of American children which
677. 22:49another his book before the anxious
678. 22:52generation was called the coddling of
679. 22:53the American mind. It's causing a lot of
680. 22:55men to be become neurotic and the way
681. 22:57he's describing that why did she do this
682. 22:59or do guys I'm I'm explaining something
683. 23:00to you okay I'm I'm I'm going back to
684. 23:02being the dating coach for just a second
685. 23:03here. You being neurotic around women is
686. 23:06incredibly unattractive. You could be a
687. 23:08billionaire, you could be incredibly
688. 23:09good-looking. You being neurotic around
689. 23:11women, just like, no, just think of
690. 23:13Charles Bronson, think of Clint
691. 23:15Eastwood, think of uh, you know, whoever
692. 23:17who you are. Think of The Rock in some
693. 23:18of their roles. Think of uh, Brad Pitt.
694. 23:20They don't give a like there's this G.
695. 23:23The opposite of neurotic is I don't care
696. 23:26what you think. You got to see this is
697. 23:28neurotic. Oh, everyone is concerned
698. 23:31about me. This is this is I don't care
699. 23:33what people think. Right? Here's
700. 23:34neurotic. Neurotic is uh neurotic is you
701. 23:37have 100 followers on Instagram and
702. 23:39you're like, "What if I post two
703. 23:41pictures in the same shirt? What are
704. 23:43people going to think? No one's going to
705. 23:44think No one even knows you exist,
706. 23:46bro. That's neurotic." Okay, here's the
707. 23:49opposite of neurotic. Uh Donald Trump
708. 23:51ends up having sex with a star while his
709. 23:53wife was pregnant and and apologized to
710. 23:55no one for it. That's that's Donald
711. 23:57Trump is the opposite of neurotic. He
712. 23:59has no care in the world about most of
713. 24:01the time what other people think. Right?
714. 24:03That's that's that's a level of that's a
715. 24:05lack of neuroticism that's probably
716. 24:06unhealthy. All right? But you can go in
717. 24:08you can go in two different directions.
718. 24:10I know that sometimes I can be I can
719. 24:13care a little bit about what people
720. 24:14think about me. But most of the time,
721. 24:15especially as I get older, I care less
722. 24:18and less what people think about me just
723. 24:20because I understand what makes me
724. 24:21happy. That is one of the greatest gifts
725. 24:23of age for me is I know exactly what I
726. 24:26want. I know what makes me happy. I know
727. 24:27what foods hurt my stomach. I know what
728. 24:29I need in order to get a good night's
729. 24:30rest. You learn this as you get older.
730. 24:32You understand what kind of women you
731. 24:34match with, what kind of women you don't
732. 24:35match with. This is one of the gifts of
733. 24:36age. And so as that if people don't like
734. 24:39my decisions, I don't care. I And so you
735. 24:42you become I believe if you guys ever
736. 24:44met an old like a really old man who
737. 24:45just doesn't give a like a old man
738. 24:47like at a retirement home and he's just
739. 24:48like flirting with women and he says
740. 24:50just crazy just bigoted racist He
741. 24:53doesn't even care. He's just old. He
742. 24:54doesn't care. He doesn't care. His give
743. 24:55a is turned all the way to zero. You
744. 24:57ever met a guy like that? That That's
745. 24:58the opposite of neuroticism. Women find
746. 25:01neurotic men to be very unattractive.
747. 25:03Just want to let you guys know that.
748. 25:04>> I don't even know what you're saying.
749. 25:06>> They're barely playing checkers.
750. 25:08>> That's right. That's right. And again,
751. 25:09it's that it's that um uh you know, it's
752. 25:11that the early the organizing effects of
753. 25:13prenatal hormones. This is not
754. 25:15culturally taught. This is what kids
755. 25:16enjoy doing based on I believe and Simon
756. 25:19Baron Cohen I believe believes um
757. 25:21>> okay, do you guys see prenatal
758. 25:23testosterone? And what he's leading to
759. 25:25is the the documentation about people
760. 25:26versus things. Women tend to gravitate
761. 25:29towards toys and gravitate towards jobs
762. 25:32that involve people. Boys tend to
763. 25:34gravitate towards toys and jobs that
764. 25:36involve things. This has been
765. 25:38universally replicated. This is when
766. 25:40something is cross-cultural, universally
767. 25:42cross-cultural and replicatable, then
768. 25:44it's not cultural. It's innate or it is
769. 25:47biological, which is what he's trying to
770. 25:49explain here. the organizing p the
771. 25:51prenatal organizing effects of hormones
772. 25:53on the on the developing brain.
773. 25:54>> But on YouTube where it's my
774. 25:56understanding primarily male,
775. 25:58>> there's a lot of clapback type comments.
776. 26:01Um I know this cuz I have a YouTube
777. 26:03channel. Um and in the old days, it
778. 26:06seems it wasn't that long ago when Rogan
779. 26:08was had full length episodes on YouTube,
780. 26:11then he didn't, now he does again.
781. 26:13>> The the jokes, the comment section on
782. 26:15YouTube were like their own show. Mhm.
783. 26:18>> It was outrageous. It was so good. And
784. 26:20um some of that's coming back now that
785. 26:22he's
786. 26:22>> Was it men showing off their cleverness,
787. 26:24>> right? I mean, like for instance, you
788. 26:26might be familiar with Jaco Willink, the
789. 26:28right, you know, this if you had to draw
790. 26:30a Navy Seal, you draw Jaco.
791. 26:32>> Anyway, so they've gotten off into a
792. 26:33different subject. This is great. I
793. 26:34highly recommend this episode. I
794. 26:35recommend everything by Andrew Huberman.
795. 26:37I I when people disagree with me, but I
796. 26:39believe they're being academically
797. 26:41honest, I'm a big fan. I'll give you a
798. 26:42couple of examples. Later on, we're
799. 26:44going to talk about male feminists being
800. 26:45hypocrites again. But I'm going to give
801. 26:46you an example of guys who sometimes
802. 26:48disagree with me, but I think they're
803. 26:49being academically honest. Dr. Max
804. 26:51Butterfield, you guys see him. Hi, I'm
805. 26:53Max Butterfield. Dr. Max Butter, that
806. 26:55dude, he goes after both sides. I've
807. 26:57seen him. He when women say crazy
808. 26:59specious he goes after them. When
809. 27:01men say crazy specious he goes
810. 27:02after them. If Max Butterfield came
811. 27:04after me, I wouldn't take it personal
812. 27:05because I do believe he's being
813. 27:07academically honest. So, I'm a fan of
814. 27:08his. Another guy is Mack and Murphy. I
815. 27:10talk about Mack and I actually get to
816. 27:11talk. Mackin and I uh share voice notes
817. 27:13sometimes over over the internet. We
818. 27:15have conversations. Mackin and I don't
819. 27:16agree on a lot of stuff, but we can have
820. 27:18an open academic conversation. And one
821. 27:20of the reasons why I respect him so much
822. 27:22is because I believe he's being
823. 27:23academically honest. So just because you
824. 27:25disagree with me doesn't mean I dislike
825. 27:27you. I'll give you a third one. And I
826. 27:28know a lot of people are going to push
827. 27:29back on this one. I think of all the
828. 27:31feminists I've heard argue and and make
829. 27:33debates, I think Jasmine Jafar does
830. 27:36probably the best job or one of the best
831. 27:38jobs of trying like Jasmine Jafar admits
832. 27:40that there are innate differences
833. 27:41between men and women. I heard her in
834. 27:42the Michael Nolles debate. So there are
835. 27:45people who I might not agree with all
836. 27:47the time, but if I feel like they're
837. 27:49being academically honest, it's cool. We
838. 27:51we can be homies. We can be cool. It's
839. 27:53what it's it's these people online who
840. 27:55just like start lying about me. We're
841. 27:56not cool. Like if you come up to me and
842. 27:58you try to be my friend afterwards when
843. 27:59you just basically lied about me, I
844. 28:00don't want to be friends with you. I'll
845. 28:01shake your hand. I'll keep it pushing,
846. 28:03but we're not we're not going to dinner
847. 28:04together. I have no interest in hanging
848. 28:05out with you. people who I disagree
849. 28:07with.