The BRUTAL Truth About Parenting No One Tells You — Transcript

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1. 0:00If all goes well,
2. 0:01next year I will be a dad.
3. 0:03>> I hope so.
4. 0:04>> I hope so, too.
5. 0:05>> Yeah.
6. 0:05>> So, I've written on this
7. 0:06sort of slide in front of me here,
8. 0:08"Advice for Steven."
9. 0:10>> Ah.
10. 0:10>> And I would like you to give me some
11. 0:12advice, some actionable advice on, you
12. 0:14know, becoming a father, what I need to
13. 0:15do pre, post, during.
14. 0:17>> Yes.
15. 0:18>> Based on all the research that you have.
16. 0:19>> Love it.
17. 0:20>> going to write it down.
18. 0:20>> Okay. So, first, take advantage of the
19. 0:23window before birth
20. 0:24>> Yeah.
21. 0:25>> to work on your communication with your
22. 0:26partner.
23. 0:27>> Okay.
24. 0:28>> Think about how you want to divide up
25. 0:30baby care. You know, a lot of the time
26. 0:31people say, "We'll just wing it once the
27. 0:33baby comes." And that can be a recipe
28. 0:35for frustration cuz moms feel like
29. 0:37they're doing everything, dads feel like
30. 0:38they're shut out from care. So, you
31. 0:40know, have those conversations sooner.
32. 0:42>> So, have before the baby comes, have a
33. 0:44conversation about how we're going to
34. 0:45divvy up responsibilities and make sure
35. 0:46both people are clear.
36. 0:47>> Exactly. And think about, too, like
37. 0:50what are we going to do about our
38. 0:52extended families? What religion do we
39. 0:53want to raise our kids in? What do we
40. 0:55think about education? Like, if you
41. 0:56haven't had those conversations about
42. 0:58values, have them now.
43. 1:00>> Before?
44. 1:01>> Because then I think you're going to
45. 1:03ward off conflict that is going to crop
46. 1:04up later on.
47. 1:05>> Okay.
48. 1:05>> The other thing is, and I would do this
49. 1:07before birth, too, build up your social
50. 1:09support network. A lot of men's primary
51. 1:12confidant, their primary intimate
52. 1:14relationship, is with their partner.
53. 1:16After the baby comes, mom is really
54. 1:18preoccupied, and dads are like, "What
55. 1:20about me?" So, you know, we know when we
56. 1:22look at depression research that having
57. 1:24a strong social support network is one
58. 1:26of the best buffers.
59. 1:27>> Mhm.
60. 1:27>> So, [clears throat] you want to be
61. 1:29thinking, "What are my friendships that
62. 1:31I can count on? And who can help me?" We
63. 1:34really need community support. So, think
64. 1:36about, "How can my mom help? How can my
65. 1:39friend help?" And maybe, like, you know,
66. 1:41your brother's got his own kids, he's
67. 1:43too busy to take yours, but he can help
68. 1:46in some other way, right? Like, how do
69. 1:48you plug the people into your life into
70. 1:50what your social support needs might be?
71. 1:52>> I think a lot of people would cite this
72. 1:54as being one of the reasons why they
73. 1:56haven't had kids yet. Now more so than
74. 1:59ever we don't live in communities.
75. 2:00>> Yes.
76. 2:01>> Now more so than ever we are lonely,
77. 2:02isolated, living in four small white
78. 2:05walls in a city where we can barely pay
79. 2:06our rent and we're struggling enough to
80. 2:08take care of our self.
81. 2:09>> Yeah.
82. 2:09>> Um our parents often live far away now
83. 2:11because the we're living in such a
84. 2:13globalized world. So, feeling like you
85. 2:16don't have the support around you to
86. 2:17give birth when you're like scraping
87. 2:19through in a job is
88. 2:20it doesn't make a lot of logical sense
89. 2:21as to why people won't choose to have
90. 2:23children.
91. 2:23>> Yeah, it's a huge problem and I think a
92. 2:25lot of parents really struggle with
93. 2:27feeling lonely and isolated. And so when
94. 2:29I say, you know, like take the time
95. 2:31before birth to build up your social
96. 2:32support network, that doesn't just mean
97. 2:34with your existing friendships and
98. 2:37family, right? Like sometimes we end up
99. 2:38far away from those people. It also
100. 2:40means build community with other
101. 2:43expectant parents, with your neighbors,
102. 2:46right? Like we thrive when we build
103. 2:48community. One nice thing about becoming
104. 2:50a parent is there are a lot of
105. 2:52mechanisms for doing that. There are
106. 2:54many more for moms than there are for
107. 2:56dads. So, when I became a mom, I could
108. 2:58go to breastfeeding support group, I
109. 3:00could go to babywearing support group, I
110. 3:02could go like walk around the park with
111. 3:04the Silver Lake Moms Club. Like I had
112. 3:07all these things to plug into.
113. 3:09Dads did not have as many of those
114. 3:11organic kind of community building
115. 3:13structures available. So, you know, take
116. 3:16advantage of the ones that are there. I
117. 3:18just talked to these guys that founded
118. 3:20the Daddy Stroller Social Club. They've
119. 3:22got chapters all over the country. They
120. 3:24just meet up and they go for stroller
121. 3:26walks with their kids and it's like an
122. 3:28amazing way for dads to connect with
123. 3:31each other. So, so build that as much as
124. 3:33you can. So,
125. 3:34>> Okay. That's number two.
126. 3:35>> we say? So, build your friends, work on
127. 3:37your couple relationship, think about
128. 3:39how you want to balance things out. When
129. 3:42the baby does come, first of all,
130. 3:43protect your sleep. That's really hard.
131. 3:45Everyone says sleep when the baby
132. 3:47sleeps. Your sleep is going to be
133. 3:48totally scrambled. But when you have
134. 3:51healthy routines and good sleep hygiene
135. 3:52even before birth, you're going to fare
136. 3:54better after birth. So,
137. 3:56>> I can hear parents screaming through the
138. 3:57cameras
139. 3:58saying, "Easier said than done."
140. 4:00>> Yeah, I'm not trying to gaslight any
141. 4:02parents, but I think when you have a
142. 4:03good foundation of healthy sleep
143. 4:05hygiene, you're probably going to So,
144. 4:07things like really obvious things like
145. 4:09don't be on devices right before it's
146. 4:11time to go to bed. Like dim the lights.
147. 4:13Like make sure your room is the right
148. 4:15temperature. Like try to dial in your
149. 4:17sleeping environment cuz the sleep is
150. 4:18going to be the hardest thing the first
151. 4:19thing to go.
152. 4:20>> A bit of a paradox here that when you're
153. 4:22I guess stressed or sleep deprived, we
154. 4:24often reach for things that are
155. 4:26dopamine dopaminergic I think the term
156. 4:28is, which is like foods that maybe are a
157. 4:30little bit higher in
158. 4:32you know, not the good stuff.
159. 4:33>> Yeah. Yeah.
160. 4:34>> And this there's almost a paradox there
161. 4:35of
162. 4:35>> Yeah, it's a total vicious cycle for
163. 4:37sure. And I would say like think about
164. 4:38becoming a parent like you're preparing
165. 4:39to run a marathon. You know, not to the
166. 4:42point that you become totally neurotic
167. 4:43about it, but think about being healthy,
168. 4:45having things that are going to prepare
169. 4:47your body for this big shake-up that
170. 4:49you're going to undergo. And then once
171. 4:51the baby comes like take any opportunity
172. 4:53to bond. Like I think a lot of men feel
173. 4:56like I'm going to avoid as many diapers
174. 4:58as possible.
175. 5:00Changing diapers seems gross, but it's
176. 5:02also a chance to make eye contact with
177. 5:03your baby and like really get to know
178. 5:08them in a different way. So, you know,
179. 5:10jump into those baby care opportunities.
180. 5:12Like find your own style and you know,
181. 5:15make sure like the more windows you have
182. 5:17to bond, the better you're going to feel
183. 5:19like you know your baby and the more
184. 5:20confident you're going to be. And then I
185. 5:22would say give yourself grace. Like know
186. 5:24that this is hard, know that it's
187. 5:26temporary, and know that you are you
188. 5:28know, you're sacrificing in the short
189. 5:30term for a lot of long-term benefit.
190. 5:32>> One of the things that might be a little
191. 5:34bit absent from this list is an effort
192. 5:36towards holding my relationship together
193. 5:40with my fiance.
194. 5:41>> Also important. I mean that's part of
195. 5:43what you want to do before the baby's
196. 5:45born, right? You want to be shoring up
197. 5:47the communication and having those hard
198. 5:48conversations.
199. 5:49>> night thing, you know?
200. 5:50>> Yeah. Yeah.
201. 5:51>> Date night's probably going to be the
202. 5:52first thing out the window.
203. 5:53>> Yeah, that is a that is a thing that
204. 5:54goes out the window, but you know what?
205. 5:56One nice thing about newborns is they'll
206. 5:57sleep pretty much anywhere. So, you
207. 6:00know, when our babies were little,
208. 6:02my husband and I would just like put the
209. 6:03baby in a car seat and go eat at a nice
210. 6:05restaurant.
211. 6:06>> Mhm.
212. 6:07>> You know, it was like the last time we
213. 6:08got to do that for a few years because
214. 6:09once they start walking around, they're
215. 6:12much less portable.
216. 6:13>> Mhm.
217. 6:14>> So, like take advantage of some of the
218. 6:16early baby stuff that you can do to
219. 6:18travel and to make sure that you get
220. 6:20out.
221. 6:21>> That advice was all advice for me.
222. 6:22>> Yeah.
223. 6:22>> For Stephen.
224. 6:23>> Yeah.
225. 6:23>> Would there be any different advice if
226. 6:25my fiance was sat here and you were
227. 6:27advising her?
228. 6:28>> Oh, that would be fun.
229. 6:29>> Yeah.
230. 6:29>> Yeah. I mean, I would say that sort of
231. 6:31giving yourself grace thing would go
232. 6:32double, right? It's like know that
233. 6:35Stephen is going through a lot, and then
234. 6:37you need to know that she's going
235. 6:39through a lot. Like her whole sense of
236. 6:41self is going to be in upheaval.
237. 6:45>> Mhm.
238. 6:45>> Because like we go through this thing
239. 6:47it's called matrescence. There's also
240. 6:49patrescence, which is just the idea that
241. 6:52becoming a parent kind of, you know,
242. 6:54changes your priorities. It changes your
243. 6:57sense of who you are. So, she's going to
244. 6:59go through a lot of transformation as
245. 7:01you will, and so sort of like hanging in
246. 7:03with each other during that period of
247. 7:05transformation
248. 7:06is really fundamentally sometimes
249. 7:08couples can grow apart where dads are
250. 7:11jealous that the baby's getting all the
251. 7:12attention. He feels left out. Moms are
252. 7:14frustrated that dad isn't doing more to
253. 7:16help. Like
254. 7:18all of those things can lead to
255. 7:19conflict, and you can know that those
256. 7:22are going to be hot spots for conflict
257. 7:25and try to talk your way through them
258. 7:26even ahead of birth.
259. 7:29>> Darby, what what's the um most important
260. 7:31thing we haven't talked about that we
261. 7:32should have talked about as it relates
262. 7:33to your work for all the people that are
263. 7:35listening now that have gotten this far
264. 7:36in the conversation?
265. 7:37>> Yeah. Let's see. We didn't talk about
266. 7:40dad bod.
267. 7:41>> Dad bod?
268. 7:42>> That's a fun topic.
269. 7:43>> Okay.
270. 7:44>> Something we frequently joke about. We
271. 7:46think about like Homer Simpson,
272. 7:48but it's been found across both animal
273. 7:50and human studies that males tend to
274. 7:52gain weight when they become fathers.
275. 7:54>> Is that just the cortisol and the lack
276. 7:55of sleep?
277. 7:56>> So, it's a mix of all the hormones. It's
278. 7:58prolactin is a hormone we haven't talked
279. 8:00much about, but that is rising. Sleep
280. 8:03deprivation,
281. 8:05um changes in physical activity, changes
282. 8:08in our diet, right? Because of stress
283. 8:10and some of the dietary choices that
284. 8:11we're making like I joke in the book
285. 8:13like my husband and I basically ate
286. 8:15peanut butter pretzels from Trader Joe's
287. 8:17like every day that our kids were
288. 8:18babies. So, you know, a lot of stuff is
289. 8:21happening all at once. It's kind of a
290. 8:22perfect storm. And yet, you know,
291. 8:25there's evidence even from animal models
292. 8:27that you see weight changes around the
293. 8:30transition to fatherhood.
294. 8:33>> These ones here.
295. 8:34>> Yeah. Yeah, these are the tamarin
296. 8:36monkeys. So, there was a study that
297. 8:38looked at tamarin monkeys that were
298. 8:39expecting offspring. And um it fed them
299. 8:44a standardized diet and it compared them
300. 8:46to tamarin monkeys who didn't have
301. 8:48partners that were expecting offspring.
302. 8:51And they found that the expectant dads
303. 8:53actually gained more weight even though
304. 8:54they were eating the same diet as the
305. 8:56comparison monkeys who weren't about to
306. 8:59have a baby. And so, there were these
307. 9:02like body changes that happened even
308. 9:04before birth in the male monkeys.
309. 9:07>> Why would that be?
310. 9:08>> It's probably adaptive. Like if you
311. 9:10think about increasing your body size to
312. 9:14be more imposing and to better ward off
313. 9:17attacks from rivals. And you also want a
314. 9:19buffer in case there's scarcity, right?
315. 9:22Like you want extra fat. It looks less
316. 9:24adaptive in a kind of modern context
317. 9:26when we have a very obesogenic
318. 9:29environment. And, you know, you can
319. 9:32start to see more cardiometabolic risk.
320. 9:35But, one thing I talk about in the book
321. 9:37is women actually like a dad bod.
322. 9:39Studies of single women have found that,
323. 9:42you know, if you show them a series of
324. 9:43body types, the dad bod is the most
325. 9:45popular. You know, it's sort of like a
326. 9:47mildly,
327. 9:48you know, kind of like, uh, lately
328. 9:50marbled, uh, male torso.
329. 9:53>> Like even a marble torso.
330. 9:54>> know if you remember like the Olly Murs,
331. 9:56the British singer, who like did a big
332. 9:58tone up at the gym and posted selfies.
333. 10:01You know, he had like a 12-pack or
334. 10:02something, and all these women online
335. 10:04were saying like we liked the before
336. 10:06picture.
337. 10:07So, you know, there's something to be
338. 10:09said for
339. 10:09>> win.
340. 10:10>> the reproductive signal of a dad bod.
341. 10:12But, part of it is if you show women
342. 10:14torsos of different kinds of male body
343. 10:17types,
344. 10:18the the sort of dad bod is one that
345. 10:20women say he is more likely to be a
346. 10:22hands-on father, he's probably going to
347. 10:24be more attentive, he's going to be more
348. 10:26caring, and those are things that are
349. 10:28really attractive to women.
350. 10:30>> And that's proven by science. So, if I
351. 10:32go out and get a dad bod, you're telling
352. 10:34me the science is says I'm going to be
353. 10:35more attractive.
354. 10:36>> for it. Yeah.
355. 10:37>> Okay.
356. 10:38>> Yeah, worth a shot.
357. 10:39>> See what my fiance says.
358. 10:41>> Yeah.
359. 10:41>> [laughter]
360. 10:42>> How much of your work has been
361. 10:44influenced by
362. 10:46this?
363. 10:48>> Oh, this is my dad. So much of my work.
364. 10:51My parents got divorced when I was nine.
365. 10:54And my dad became a solo parent to me
366. 10:59and my brothers. Um, my parents
367. 11:01ultimately worked out a joint custody
368. 11:03schedule, so we were one week with my
369. 11:05dad, one week with my mom. We switched
370. 11:07off every week as I was growing up. And
371. 11:10he became a really great dad. Like he
372. 11:12had a major learning curve. He wasn't a
373. 11:15hands-on dad. He was like an '80s dad
374. 11:17who, you know, showed up for the big
375. 11:19stuff, but when he was alone with the
376. 11:22four of us, he suddenly had to be the
377. 11:25guy making our meals, the guy helping us
378. 11:27with our homework, the guy driving us to
379. 11:29sports practice. He really rose to the
380. 11:31occasion, and I'm still really close
381. 11:33with him.
382. 11:34>> How do you think that's influenced your
383. 11:35your overarching mission and your focus
384. 11:37on, you know, dads and parenting?
385. 11:39>> Yeah, so I've always been really
386. 11:40interested in families, and you know,
387. 11:42they say like psychologists are always
388. 11:43trying to fix the thing that went wrong
389. 11:45in their lives. So, I'm probably like as
390. 11:47someone who's interested in couples and
391. 11:48families wanting to reverse like my own
392. 11:51parents' divorce, but I also like seeing
393. 11:54my dad be a great caregiver and then
394. 11:56realizing how much parenting research is
395. 11:59solely focused on moms makes me realize
396. 12:01there's like a real gap in the
397. 12:03literature. Like
398. 12:05you know, men play a really important
399. 12:06role in parenting, and I think deserve a
400. 12:08lot of recognition and respect for that.
401. 12:11>> It's It's interesting that I I'd never
402. 12:13heard before that there was really any
403. 12:14changes that took place in a
404. 12:16>> Yeah.
405. 12:16>> man's brain when
406. 12:17>> Yeah.
407. 12:17>> a man becomes a
408. 12:19>> Yeah.
409. 12:19>> father.
410. 12:20>> I mean, I think it's not something that
411. 12:22gets talked about a lot, which is why I
412. 12:24wanted to write about it. But, you know,
413. 12:26we are dynamic. We're plastic. We humans
414. 12:30adapt, and becoming a parent is one of
415. 12:32the biggest transformations
416. 12:35that you can experience.
417. 12:36>> Have you ever done any research on the
418. 12:38impact that divorce has on children?
419. 12:40>> Not a lot, no, which is ironic cuz I'm
420. 12:43I'm a child of divorce, but um
421. 12:46there is some research about it, and
422. 12:48there's definitely some evidence that it
423. 12:50can create create some challenges for
424. 12:52kids.
425. 12:53>> And have you ever done any research on
426. 12:55the or do you have a view on whether
427. 12:56humans are supposed to be monogamous?
428. 12:59>> Mhm. Well, okay. So, the best way to
429. 13:01describe humans is we're sort of
430. 13:03monogamous with benefits.
431. 13:05And, you know, you can see that if you
432. 13:07look at the difference in our body size.
433. 13:09So, like male humans are a little bit
434. 13:12bigger than female humans, but they're
435. 13:13not like twice as big.
436. 13:14>> Mhm.
437. 13:15>> So, like gorillas, male gorillas are way
438. 13:18bigger than female gorillas. There's
439. 13:20like a huge size differential. And, you
440. 13:23know, that says that, you know, like the
441. 13:25male gorilla model is one of like harem
442. 13:29dominance, right? Fully monogamous
443. 13:32animals are exactly the same size. Like
444. 13:34prairie vole males and females are
445. 13:35almost exactly the same size as each
446. 13:37other. They have like no size
447. 13:39differential. So, that's like like real
448. 13:41pair bonding. So, we're sort of like
449. 13:44somewhere in between. There are a lot of
450. 13:45societies with different models. You
451. 13:46have polygamy, which is one man with
452. 13:50lots of women. You have polyandry, which
453. 13:53is more rare. That's one woman with lots
454. 13:56of men. Only a few societies that have
455. 13:58that model. But, monogamy is actually
456. 14:00the most common across lots of different
457. 14:02cultures and societies. And I think it
458. 14:04cuz it's it brings us some benefits. In
459. 14:06part because the concealed ovulation
460. 14:08piece that helps motivate men to be more
461. 14:10invested in a single partner.
462. 14:13But, also cuz it generally is good for
463. 14:14kids.
464. 14:15>> What do you
465. 14:16What are you concerned about?
466. 14:18>> I mean, our future as a planet?
467. 14:21>> [laughter]
468. 14:22>> Which part of our future as a planet?
469. 14:24>> So, I I definitely am concerned about
470. 14:27what we've been talking about, the
471. 14:28declining birth rate.
472. 14:29>> Mhm.
473. 14:29>> [clears throat]
474. 14:29>> I'm concerned not just because it
475. 14:32portends problems, you know, in our
476. 14:34future societies, but because it what it
477. 14:37signals, I think, about young people's
478. 14:38hopefulness for the future.
479. 14:41>> Mhm.
480. 14:41>> Right? I think when you look at the
481. 14:43world and you say
482. 14:44"I don't want to reproduce. I don't want
483. 14:46to bring children into this world." It
484. 14:48to me suggests like a nihilism and a
485. 14:50darkness that concerns me. Like marriage
486. 14:53rates are dropping. Like young men and
487. 14:56young women seem to be on different
488. 14:59paths. Part of that is like we're in
489. 15:01these algorithmic echo chambers, where
490. 15:04the kind of content that we're absorbing
491. 15:05is really different. So, you see
492. 15:07increasing political polarization, not
493. 15:10just in the US, but in other countries,
494. 15:12too. It's like there's more adversarial
495. 15:16kind of interaction. And I don't think
496. 15:19that's good. You know, going back to the
497. 15:20idea that having a healthy late life is
498. 15:23about building strong relationships.
499. 15:26And that that's a good predictor of our
500. 15:28longevity.
501. 15:29I want us to be in a world where we see
502. 15:31ourselves as being on the same team as
503. 15:33each other.
504. 15:35>> Are you hopeful?
505. 15:35>> Yeah, I'm super hopeful. I'm a very
506. 15:37optimistic person.
507. 15:38>> What would have to happen for that to be
508. 15:40the case?
509. 15:40>> I'm hopeful. I have teenagers. You know,
510. 15:42I'm hopeful for them. I think they're
511. 15:44going to take over and hopefully they'll
512. 15:46be wiser than my generation has been.
513. 15:49That's them with my husband.
514. 15:52That's from a few years ago.
515. 15:53>> to say this
516. 15:54your boy's a bit older now, right?
517. 15:55>> Yeah, he's 14 now.
518. 15:56>> 14, okay.
519. 15:57>> Yeah.
520. 15:59>> Dr. Darby Saxbe, PhD.
521. 16:01>> Yep, that's me.
522. 16:02>> We have a closing tradition on this
523. 16:03podcast where the last guest leaves a
524. 16:04question for the next guest not knowing
525. 16:05who they're leaving it for.
526. 16:06>> Ooh.
527. 16:08>> Question left for you is, people are
528. 16:10increasingly distrustful and lonely. If
529. 16:13you could flip a switch and make one
530. 16:15systemic change to turn the tide, what
531. 16:18would it be?
532. 16:19>> Ah.
533. 16:20To make people more socially connected.
534. 16:23Well, I think
535. 16:25building a better policy environment
536. 16:27around parenting. So, I'm a big advocate
537. 16:30for parental leave to protect time and
538. 16:32space to bond.
539. 16:34I think that would be a really positive
540. 16:35change for a lot of parents in the US
541. 16:37who don't get access to leave.
542. 16:39>> What what
543. 16:40as a Brit, you know, I've moved over
544. 16:42here and we we we you know, we're hiring
545. 16:44a big workforce here in Los Angeles, New
546. 16:46York, and around the United States.
547. 16:48But hearing about the parental leave
548. 16:50policies here is like mind-blowing.
549. 16:52>> Yeah.
550. 16:52>> What is the current parental leave
551. 16:54policy in the United States?
552. 16:55>> Yeah, so we are a huge outlier compared
553. 16:57to the rest of the world, right? So,
554. 16:59like we do not have a universal paid
555. 17:02leave policy for parents that's at the
556. 17:05federal level. There are some different
557. 17:07policies at the state level. So, every
558. 17:09state has slightly different policies.
559. 17:11But frequently what's most available to
560. 17:14parents is unpaid disability leave
561. 17:16that's provided by the state. It's not
562. 17:19available to every parent. If you're a
563. 17:20shift worker, if you're a gig worker, if
564. 17:23you're at Walmart, you probably don't
565. 17:25have access to that paid leave. And as a
566. 17:28result, a lot of new moms in the US are
567. 17:30back to work within a couple of weeks of
568. 17:32birth. Which I think is totally bonkers
569. 17:34when you think about what does it take
570. 17:36to build a healthy society.
571. 17:38>> The baseline federal protection is the
572. 17:40Family and Medical Leave Act. It
573. 17:42guarantees up to 12 weeks of unpaid
574. 17:45>> Yep.
575. 17:45>> leave.
576. 17:47Your employer must also maintain your
577. 17:48group health insurance during this this
578. 17:50time. So, they don't pay you.
579. 17:52>> Yeah.
580. 17:53Yeah.
581. 17:54And that's a big problem.
582. 17:55Because it's expensive.
583. 17:57>> And really expensive.
584. 17:58>> kids.
585. 17:59>> It's so surprising that they haven't
586. 18:00passed a law in this direction because
587. 18:03it's not a partisan dispute.
588. 18:05>> No, that's what's so surprising is that
589. 18:07it's one of the best polling issues.
590. 18:10It's bipartisan, right? Both Republicans
591. 18:12and Democrats say they support leave. I
592. 18:15think it's something like 80%
593. 18:17of Americans are in favor of it. Yet we
594. 18:20haven't found the political will to make
595. 18:22it happen.
596. 18:23>> Well, maybe we need a woman in office.
597. 18:26>> Well said.
598. 18:28>> Or just a man. With
599. 18:29>> Or just a
600. 18:30just an empathetic man. Let's get
601. 18:32hands-on dads.
602. 18:34>> If you love the Dark Horse CEO, Brandon,
603. 18:35and you watch this channel, please do me
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