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The Blueprint Decoded part 1 by Tyler RSD (Owen Cook) — Transcript

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0:00Hey guys, welcome to the blueprint. Uh,
0:02this is a program that I've really been
0:04working on for about
0:07about four years now. Um, it was a book
0:09that I set out to write back in 2004
0:13and I worked on it for a long time as a
0:15pet project. Everybody asked me where is
0:18it? What's happening with it? And it's
0:20something that I guess I couldn't put
0:22out until now because every time that I
0:24learned something, I found something
0:25else that I didn't know. and I went
0:27deeper and deeper into it, learned new
0:29things and was able to enrich myself and
0:31hopefully able to enrich the people that
0:33learn from it. Now look, this is a
0:35program that unlike a lot of other
0:36things that you learn is not about
0:38ego-based learning. All right? So unlike
0:41most programs where you know that that
0:43anyone would do where we're trying to
0:44teach you you know this special idea or
0:46that special idea and maybe every idea
0:48that you get makes you feel more
0:50enhanced this is more a program about
0:52signposts and it's about signpost that's
0:54leading you from a place of social
0:55conditioning over to a place of real
0:58self-esteem and real authenticity and
0:59you'll understand more about what that
1:00means when you watch it. All right. So
1:02when you come at this, what I really
1:04want you to remember is that it's not
1:06about memorizing every little thing, but
1:08rather it's about finding that place
1:10inside yourself that this program is
1:12going to point you towards. Anyway, I
1:14want to thank you for coming and getting
1:15this program. You have my undying
1:17appreciation for it. I hope that you
1:18enjoyed as much as I did making it.
1:20Thank you so much.
1:37How you guys doing?
1:38>> Good.
1:39>> Good.
1:41I'm Tyler from Real Social Dynamics.
1:44Welcome to the Blueprint Decoded Super
1:46Conference.
1:48This is a big weekend for you guys. It's
1:50going to be huge.
1:52You guys awake?
1:57You guys going to have a good time
1:58today?
1:58>> Hell yeah.
2:00>> Yeah. Okay. Nice. Nice. So, you guys
2:03must be wondering.
2:05Four days.
2:07[laughter]
2:09Four days. What were you thinking?
2:13What were you thinking? How am I going
2:15to fill up four days?
2:17Okay. This is all me. All right. No
2:20guest speakers. All right. There's no
2:22guest speakers coming up here. This is
2:24me. Just me and you guys. One big happy
2:27family for four days. All right. What am
2:29I going to talk about? What am I going
2:31to cover today? Well, look, let me
2:33introduce it like this. Um,
2:39I was thinking just actually as I woke
2:41up this morning, how once you reach one
2:44goal, uh, the natural tendency, whether
2:46it's healthy or not, who knows, uh, is
2:48to always want more. Okay.
2:51And when I first started doing this, uh,
2:54my goals were very, very, very, very
2:57modest. Um,
3:00you guys might know my story. Just
3:02recovered very simply. Uh, my girlfriend
3:04dumped me when I was about something
3:06like 20 years old. I went into a massive
3:08tail spin of depression. I was totally
3:10lost and confused. I almost failed out
3:14of school that year, which crushed my
3:16dreams to go to grad school as a
3:17philosophy major. and I was just
3:20finished. So, I thought, you know what?
3:23I need to get a new girlfriend. How am I
3:25going to get a new girlfriend? I'm going
3:26to go out and try to approach five women
3:28a day until I get a new girlfriend. Of
3:30course, that built up and built up and
3:32built up. After a while, I actually
3:34found out, whoa, look, you can get a
3:36skill set at this. You can actually
3:38learn something. You could actually uh
3:40have this not just, you know, by
3:42approaching lots of women, finally get a
3:44girlfriend, you could actually get this
3:46as a skill. So, I kept going. But here's
3:50what drove me nuts. And I want you guys
3:51to tell me if anyone here has had the
3:52same experience as this. On one night,
3:56you could be the man. Okay? You could be
3:59incredible. You could be like, uh, you
4:02know, we have a lot of jokes in RSD, the
4:04Lord. All right. [laughter] Okay. We
4:06have a lot of joke terms like that. You
4:08could be the Lord. But
4:11what if it's a mediocre night? What if
4:14it's a bad night? Well, on a bad night,
4:16you are not only not the Lord, but you
4:20are the biggest Chad in the club, right?
4:22And you're not just the biggest Chad in
4:24the club, like by a little bit. You are
4:26like like at least normally the biggest
4:28cho in the club would just be kind of
4:29like, you [snorts] know, you know,
4:31whatever, you know, maybe, you know, got
4:32his drink up like that. Okay. But not
4:38because you're like, "Hey guys,
4:42[laughter]
4:43hey guys." Okay. Right. And then you
4:46just go you just go home, you're like,
4:46"Oh, man." Right? And it feels like
4:49everybody in that club had a great night
4:50except you. Then you have mediocre
4:52nights. You have a wide different range
4:54of nights. And you could be using the
4:56exact same lines. You could be saying
4:59the exact same things. You could even be
5:01doing it the exact same way, but there's
5:03all these different variables that
5:05you're not aware of that are causing you
5:07not to be consistent. And this drove me
5:09nuts.
5:13I'll tell you my perspective which is
5:15not the same situation that you guys
5:16exist in but you could see how coming
5:18from this perspective it would drive you
5:20to the length that I went to. Um I was
5:23running real social dynamics. So I've
5:24been running that since I was 22 years
5:26old. That was the job that I came up
5:27with in college uh because I was totally
5:29screwed. So um I was uh broke with no
5:34money. So we built real social dynamics
5:36and um
5:38you know I was getting a level of
5:39success. I was doing the boot camps
5:41getting success. But the thing was the
5:43boot camps were new back then. So you
5:45guys see this as the big flourishing
5:46business that it is now. Uh you know you
5:48guys see it before the you know the old
5:50days. Back when I used to sleep in a
5:52walk-in closet. Back when I used to
5:53sleep on people's floors. Back when we
5:55used to go from city to city and not
5:57having any idea how we would get to the
5:58next city because we had no money. All
6:00right. This was the old days. We wanted
6:01to grow this and build this. And on some
6:04nights I could do incredible approaches.
6:06I could meet women. I could get all
6:07those great results that you guys want.
6:09and all that, you know, we don't need to
6:10uh be too explicit about, but basically
6:12I could get the great results. But on
6:14other nights, I sucked. And this drove
6:16me pretty much insane because I always
6:18felt like I had something to prove. I
6:20always felt like I was trying to prove
6:21myself. And coming from a frame of
6:22trying to prove yourself has got to be
6:24the the most uh result, you know,
6:27outcome attached, right? Like totally
6:29needing the outcome. Not even needy for
6:32the girl at this point, but just needing
6:34that outcome so badly. and it just kills
6:37your whole, you know, your game just
6:38sucks whenever you're coming from that
6:40kind of a frame. So, um, then things got
6:43even more messy when I had things like,
6:44you know, a Rolling Stone reporter
6:46following me around. I had all sorts of
6:48different media on me and I was
6:49continually paranoid. Could I have be
6:51this guy with incredible skills with
6:53women, uh, you know, in front of all
6:56these different people. So, what I
6:57wanted was consistency. That is what I
6:59really wanted. And it eluded me
7:01completely for about the first three
7:03years working on this stuff. Just
7:04completely eluded me. I did not really
7:06have the level of consistency that I
7:08wanted. And to be honest, it was kind of
7:09an identity crisis. And I don't know,
7:12have you guys ever experienced that?
7:13It's like, am I this big pimp? Am I a
7:14cho? What am I? Have you guys ever gone
7:16through that?
7:17>> Yeah. You know, you've seen that kind
7:19of, you know, like that that sort of uh
7:23you haven't experienced quite that. You
7:25haven't quite had that click yet where
7:27you don't need to think about it
7:28anymore. Maybe you still need to go out
7:29to the club and do a warm-up. Maybe
7:31you're sitting uh you know, maybe you're
7:33sitting by yourself having a bite to eat
7:35and you see a girl that you want to go
7:37talk to and you feel like you have to
7:38put on your pickup persona in order to
7:41like snap out of it and go over and talk
7:42to her. Um you know, maybe uh maybe you
7:46see a girl who you just find it to be
7:48exceptionally attractive. It's the kind
7:49of girl you really want to meet and you
7:51feel more pressure. Any of these kinds
7:52of things. And that really drove me nuts
7:56because it's funny on one level when I
7:59first got into this stuff, just being
8:01completely confused, not having any
8:02chance with women, pretty much repelling
8:05any woman that I met as far away from me
8:07as humanly possible, then going to the
8:10level where, you know, I could meet
8:11girls and I could have a level of
8:12success. I thought that that was it. I
8:13thought that that was what I really
8:14wanted. But, um, goals evolve. I bet a
8:19lot of you guys in here, you know,
8:20you've gotten that initial level of
8:21success. you've gotten even a high level
8:24of success, but you want that identity
8:27level change. You want it to be not
8:28something you're doing, but something
8:30you are. All right? And that's the first
8:33theme of this program program that I'm
8:35going to introduce to you guys is being
8:37successful with women. You know, being
8:39attractive to women is not something you
8:42do, it's something you are. All right?
8:45And another way of looking at that is
8:47being not doing. So, if you guys want to
8:50think of a theme for this program, think
8:52about it like being, not doing. All
8:55right? So that you can reach a point
8:56where you walk up to a woman and you
8:57don't feel like you're doing anything.
8:59You're just being. And therefore, you
9:01don't have a lot of those um, you know,
9:03identity issues. You don't get that
9:05approach anxiety, nothing like that. All
9:07right. Now, see,
9:09this is an advanced program.
9:12All right. This is probably,
9:16well, it's not probably. This is
9:17absolutely the most advanced program
9:19that we've ever run.
9:21If you're a newbie,
9:23you should be really happy. Why? Because
9:25you're going to have a really healthy,
9:28solid,
9:31really awesome set of principles drilled
9:32into you right from the start.
9:35If you're intermediate,
9:38this is what's going to get you thinking
9:40to becoming a real natural. And if
9:42you're advanced,
9:44this is what's going to allow you
9:47to get that full change that you're
9:48looking for. Now, let me say another
9:51thing. Uh the seminar that I'm doing
9:53this weekend, as utterly bizarre as it
9:55sound,
9:56it's really basically done almost in in
9:58almost like a secret code. And what that
10:01means is that you're not meant to
10:03understand any more than the level that
10:06you're at to go to the next level the
10:08first time that you watch this and look
10:10at the principles behind it. I've done
10:13that very intentionally. Okay. So, what
10:16I mean is this. This is not one of those
10:18seminars where I'm like, 10 funky steps
10:22to getting what you want. Step one,
10:24clean your car, right? Step two, get a
10:27breath mint. Okay? This is not that kind
10:30of a seminar. All right? We're going to
10:32be going really, really deep here. We're
10:34assuming an intelligent audience. No,
10:37I'm not there's no spoon feeding going
10:38on here. We're going to be going deeper
10:40than anything that you probably could
10:41have expected. When I do these things, I
10:44want to make this really clear. I spent
10:46four years writing the blueprint.
10:50Okay? Four [clears throat]
10:52years. All right? Four years. Okay? I
10:56didn't do that for a commercial
10:57audience, now did I?
11:01I didn't do that to make people happy. I
11:04wrote the blueprint for myself
11:06and only myself. These are the
11:09principles that I needed to learn to
11:10distill it for my own self. All right?
11:14And that's what makes it what it is.
11:16This was like me
11:19frustrated and confused and wanting to
11:22hit like a complete identity level
11:25change. I wanted to hit a point where it
11:27wasn't just look, it wasn't just success
11:29with women. I wanted like just social
11:31success and success with myself in
11:33general where I could carry myself as a
11:35man and never have to be concerned about
11:36this stuff ever again. All right? I
11:39never wanted to have to think about
11:40approach anxiety ever again. I never
11:41wanted to have to think about performing
11:44ever again. I didn't want to have to
11:45think about trying to be something I'm
11:46not. All right? I just I wanted that
11:49centeredness and I could not get it the
11:51old way that I was doing things even
11:53though I was getting that initial level
11:54of success. So this was the direction
11:56that I took it in. All right. Now, let
11:58me tell you guys a story,
12:01okay? Let me tell you guys a story. And
12:03I want to say again before we get going
12:05on that, this seminar, every time that
12:08you watch it, is going to make more
12:09sense to you. Okay? Every time that you
12:11come back to the principles that you
12:12learned here, it's going to make it's
12:15going to hit you on a different level.
12:16What that means is like
12:19if you go out now
12:21maybe the surface level principles are
12:22hitting you in a year from now the same
12:26principles that you learned here are
12:27going to take on a completely different
12:28meaning. And in four years from now
12:30because that's about what it took me to
12:31to work on all this stuff. It's going to
12:33have an entirely different meaning. And
12:35so if you think that you understood it
12:36now we're going to go deeper and deeper
12:39and deeper every year that you come back
12:40to it because that's this is really
12:43about you. This is about your journey.
12:46Okay, this is about you guys. All right,
12:48now look, let me tell let me go back to
12:51my story. So, when we started this
12:53stuff, let me tell you a little bit
12:55about the history of this community, of
12:58this industry, this this new phenomena
13:01that's going on.
13:04You guys right now at a real social
13:06dynamic seminar, okay?
13:11It's a beautiful thing. We're sitting
13:12here in this nice hotel.
13:14We've got a good camera setup. We've got
13:17tables.
13:18If this was us uh a few years back, we
13:21would probably be hidden in some school
13:24room or something that we snuck into.
13:28Probably you would have um like bean
13:32bags to sit on or something or not even
13:33that. We would run these things out of
13:36coffee cafes. We would run them out of
13:39people's houses that would let us run
13:40them. Okay. It was a small little thing.
13:43It was an underground thing. Okay. And
13:48how did I, you know, how did I get to
13:50this position? Like, you know, I'm
13:51sitting here like, how did my life come
13:52to this point? How did I get here? How
13:54did you guys get here? Where did this
13:55come from? Well, let me tell you a
13:56little bit about the history. Um, this
13:59industry was started a long time ago,
14:00about 15 years ago.
14:03And back then,
14:05you know, it was newer technology. It
14:07was newer sets of ideas, and ideas
14:08evolve, right? And I really give a lot
14:11of love and respect to everyone who's
14:12been involved in moving this body of
14:14knowledge forward. Even if I don't at
14:16all agree with the things they taught, I
14:18completely respect everybody because
14:20they moved it forward and without them
14:22them uh paving the way I wouldn't be
14:24where I'm at. You know, they saved me
14:26the trouble of trial and error now. Um
14:29back then the frame was kind of like,
14:31you know, we're men, right? And we're
14:33pissed off. Okay, we're men and we're
14:36pissed off, right? We can't get hot
14:39girls and they won't even give us the
14:41time of day. So, you know what we're
14:43going to do? We're going to [ __ ] them.
14:46Okay? [laughter]
14:46[ __ ] the [ __ ] All right? And after
14:49we [ __ ] them, [ __ ] more of them. Okay?
14:53Make them pay. All right? That was kind
14:56of the frame that, you know, 15 years
14:57ago said that things I mean, not
14:59totally, okay, I shouldn't say, you
15:00know, that's that's a value judgment.
15:01It's not totally like that. And any
15:03community has a different range of
15:04people, you know, and that's not
15:05necessarily the responsibility of any
15:07one person. Um, you know, then things
15:09move forward, right? And we found out
15:11more ways. Basically, the assumption was
15:13this, and here's the basic assumption,
15:14you know, as things move forward. The
15:16idea was,
15:18here's the gist of it.
15:26Here's a girl.
15:29That's called a pedestal, by the way.
15:32Okay, here is the I actually just had
15:35the horrid realization that G and G,
15:37girl and guy, is the same thing. So,
15:39we'll call that a woman. Okay. All
15:43right. [laughter]
15:44Okay. So, um and here's the man, right?
15:49And he's got to find a way to get up
15:51there. That was the kind of frame that
15:54we were coming from, right? So, we come
15:56up like look got little tricks. Okay.
15:59got these tricks that we can use and we
16:01can we can flip the script on them.
16:04Script flip the script on these women,
16:06right? We'll we'll show them. Okay. And
16:08that was the frame when I was 22 years
16:10old when I first found this stuff as a
16:12guy who had ever only ever had sex with
16:14one girl and basically every other woman
16:17had pretty much utterly rejected me on
16:19all levels. And I thought it was cuz
16:20they were mean. Just girls were mean. Um
16:24that made a lot of sense to me. That was
16:26that was great, right? That made perfect
16:28sense. Um, I I wouldn't I wouldn't say I
16:30was like piss like super pissed off or
16:31anything, but I'd say I was pretty much
16:33willing to go to any means necessary in
16:35order to get to get a girlfriend. If it
16:37made sense, let's do it right now. Um,
16:42fast forward. Okay, fast forward to now.
16:45What's the realization? And this is kind
16:48of what we're going to be talking about
16:49this weekend.
16:52This is
16:54all in
16:57your
16:59head.
17:02The shit's all in your head, guys.
17:07It's so in your head. It's not even
17:08funny. Okay, this is so in your head.
17:11It's not even funny. It's not accurate.
17:13It's just not true. And you think it's
17:16true because you're thinking, here's
17:18probably what you're thinking, right?
17:20You're thinking, because this is how
17:21I've thought for years. She's a
17:23beautiful girl. She's gorgeous.
17:26She's socially proof. Guys want her. She
17:28looks great. I'm an averel looking guy.
17:32You know, maybe, you know, not not
17:34particularly wealthy, not particularly
17:36good-looking.
17:38This is a this is easy. I mean, the math
17:40is real simple here, right?
17:45I'm there and she's there. That's that's
17:48got to be what it is, right? That has
17:50got to be what this is. Uh the truth is
17:52it's all in your head. It's in it is so
17:55in your head it is not even funny. And
17:58as simple of an epiphany as this that in
18:01reality
18:04you're here
18:10is the start of the blueprint.
18:14This doesn't have to make sense yet, by
18:16the way.
18:21Anyway, this was an interesting um
18:23industry. You guys know me as Tyler,
18:25right? Some of you might know me as
18:27Tyler Deran, which is the character from
18:29Chuck Pollnick's novel Fight Club. Uh
18:31back in the day, there was this forum.
18:33There was underground forum on dating
18:35and meeting women. So, my story was
18:37basically after my girlfriend brutally
18:39dumped me and left me confused and
18:41helpless, which by the way entirely
18:43deserved by the time I didn't
18:44understand. I just thought she was
18:45really mean. Um,
18:47I started approaching five women a day.
18:49It was actually about a year and after
18:51about a year in of trying to recuperate,
18:53I started approaching five women a day
18:54just thinking that I could get a
18:56girlfriend.
18:58Anyway, eventually I went on to the
19:00internet and I found different internet
19:01forums and these were underground forums
19:04that would discuss this topic and it was
19:06great because there was all these people
19:08who knew tons and tons of stuff about
19:09it. Now, the internet forums were funny
19:11because they had all sort people had all
19:12sorts of funny names like Zippity Dragon
19:15or like Psycho Man, you know, stuff like
19:18that. So, I thought I'll pick Tyler
19:20Deran, my favorite movie character,
19:23right? So, that's what I picked. My real
19:25name is Owen Cook. Okay, you guys can
19:27call me Owen whenever you want, but I'm
19:28known as Tyler now because there's an
19:30entire uh brand awareness built around
19:32that name these days. And I go by both,
19:34okay? I respond to both. Um, anyway,
19:38look, we built that up. We started
19:39traveling. We started doing these
19:41programs, okay? Getting a certain level
19:43of success, better success to be honest
19:45than anyone that I had ever personally
19:46met at the time. And I was thrilled with
19:48it. I was happy. But then what started
19:50to happen was 2004 hit. And in 2004,
19:56suddenly this industry started to get a
19:57lot of attention.
19:59Every other day, I had a reality TV show
20:02contacting me trying to create a reality
20:04TV show about uh being a pickup artist.
20:07Um, most of them were just, you know,
20:10people that claimed that they were
20:11friends with the guy that made the show
20:13Survivor. Uh, you know, most of them,
20:15uh, you know, they really didn't. Uh,
20:17you know, most of them were a joke, but
20:18some of them are pretty legit offers.
20:20Uh, then of course you had, uh, you
20:23know, different books being written on
20:24the industry that had a possibility of
20:26going mainstream. And there was all this
20:28different press that was starting to
20:30come in on the industry. Why? Because
20:32the industry itself is somewhat of an
20:34oddity. It's a very bizarrel looking
20:36industry from an outsers's perspective.
20:38And so obviously it's just something to
20:40kind of look at and go, [laughter]
20:42"Oh my god, these guys do that." Right?
20:45And people love that. People have a
20:46train wreck. People love drama. All that
20:48kind of stuff. And there was all sorts
20:49of in, you know, people love to learn
20:50how to pick up girls, right? Like, you
20:52know, all these different magazines and
20:53stuff. So basically, there was all sorts
20:55of media coming down. Now, this left me
20:57in a state of paranoia because I was
20:59like, "Look at this. I have all these
21:01great pickup lines, all these great
21:02pickup tactics.
21:04These are really good. They're working.
21:06I've gotten girlfriends. I have actually
21:09seen a woman like a random stranger on
21:11the street, approached her, and had
21:13success with her. Wow. Okay. And now
21:17it's going to become the what's your
21:19sign of the new millennium. All this
21:21stuff is going to be so played. All
21:24right. My friend Ola has a song. He
21:26goes, he goes, "Uh, sometimes you want
21:28to go where everybody knows your game,
21:32[laughter] right?" And see, the thing
21:34is, uh, look, we're seeing this and
21:37we're going, "What are we going to do?
21:38We're we're we're screwed. We're done,
21:41right? Because this is going to get so
21:42popular. Look, maybe it won't, maybe it
21:44will. I don't really know. Who knows?
21:46Who knows what'll happen, but if it
21:49does, we're done." And you know what?
21:51Even if it doesn't, now we're walking
21:53around paranoid
21:55indefinitely, always trying to like
21:56hoard it to ourselves and stuff like
21:58that. You know, these lines and stuff
21:59like that. And I didn't like that. I
22:01could not tell you how much more in
22:04congruent that made me feel compared to
22:06like, you know, when I first started
22:07today talking about how you feel like
22:09some nights you're doing good and some
22:10nights you're not doing so good. Well,
22:12just this extra factor made me feel
22:14entirely even more inongruent than I did
22:17before. Let me tell you, drove me nuts.
22:20So, I made a choice at that time. I had
22:22a meeting with my entire staff. I sat
22:25down my entire staff, this big house we
22:28used to live in Los Angeles, sat him
22:30down. I said, "Look,
22:32we've got to become natural. We've got
22:34to go natural 100%." And of course, they
22:37just laughed at me, right? They said,
22:40[laughter] "You want us to be like
22:41Chads?
22:43You want us to do what Chads do? Like,
22:45hey, what's your name? What do you do?
22:50Where are you from? What's that like?"
22:52And I said, "Look, I don't know. I don't
22:54I don't really know what we're how we're
22:56going to do it. But I do know that if we
22:58keep doing it based on this model, if we
23:01keep going in that direction and we keep
23:03meeting women using a lot of different
23:05pickup lines and pickup tactics, we're
23:07never going to become naturals because
23:08we've been doing this for several years
23:10now and I haven't become a natural yet.
23:12And that's not going to happen. So I
23:13said, "Look, we need to test it. We need
23:15to find out. We need to test it." I
23:17said, "Look, why don't we're we're going
23:18to take two weeks off. I this I'm not
23:20even kidding. I couldn't even make this
23:21stuff up." Okay? So, I gave the whole
23:23staff, which by the way, we were already
23:26about a quarter million in debt in our
23:27business at that time. I gave the whole
23:29staff two weeks off and said, "We're
23:31just going to comb the city and just
23:32approach women as being naturals and
23:35just see what we could learn and we're
23:36going to start this process now. And
23:38it's probably going to be a long road."
23:40And believe me, it was a lot longer than
23:41I thought it would take. This is going
23:42to take a long time to figure out, but
23:44we're going to start it now. And I went
23:45out that night. I went out to the
23:47standard in Los Angeles and the saddle
23:48ranch.
23:50And I saw the first girl and I said,
23:52"Okay, I'm going to approach. It's
23:53totally natural. What am I going to
23:54say?" I was like I was like, "You know,
23:57we'll make a joke out of it. I'll just
23:58do the most chy thing I could think of.
23:59I'll give her a compliment." Okay, most
24:01chy thing I could think of. So, I walked
24:03up. I said, "Hi, uh, you know, some some
24:06I can't remember what it was. You know,
24:07you're you know, you're so adorable, so
24:08cute, something. Uh, my name's Owen."
24:12and she actually responded well. But
24:15here's what was interesting. She
24:16responded well and it was actually
24:20pretty good. But what I noticed was, and
24:22you guys may notice this yourselves, as
24:24I sat there, my heart started to pound,
24:28right? And there was all these little
24:30autopilot responses going off in my mind
24:31like, "Say this to her. Now say this to
24:33her, now say this to her." And I was
24:36like, "I'm not going to do that." And
24:37then here's what really freaked me out.
24:38And this is what really set me on this
24:40path hard. I'm I'm not I couldn't even
24:42make this up. My knees actually started
24:43to shake. Okay, so my knees started to
24:45go like this. Have you guys ever seen
24:47Looney Tunes where like it goes like
24:49that? I thought that was like a joke,
24:51right? I thought it was like one of
24:53those just arbitrary things like his
24:54knees are shaking.
24:56Okay, that's what I thought it was. No,
24:58my knees started shaking. Okay, I don't
25:00know if this was a reaction from
25:01watching Looney Tunes when I was a kid
25:02or something, but my knees started like
25:04like that and I was like
25:07like that. And then you know what my
25:08epiphany was?
25:10Something is wrong with me. Something is
25:13really wrong here. Something is
25:16terribly, terribly wrong. That if I'm
25:20walking up to a woman, and I mean at
25:21this point, look, I mean, at this point,
25:22I've been approaching women
25:25about a thousand days straight.
25:28Okay, this was about You guys ever heard
25:30of the 30-day challenge before where you
25:32go out 30 days in a row to work on your
25:33skills with women?
25:34>> I did the 10,000 day challenge at this
25:36point. Okay, I had been out seven nights
25:38a week. You couldn't keep me in the
25:40house, okay? I had to go out. I would if
25:43I if I had to stay in the house, I would
25:44just go nuts. I would go insane. I had
25:46to go out. I I just loved it, okay? I I
25:48loved it so much. I still do. So, um I'm
25:52on like the thousand night challenge. At
25:54this point, women were no problem, you
25:56know, on that kind of level. I certainly
25:57wasn't experiencing those kinds of
25:58emotions. And yet, here I was talking to
26:01a girl who liked me.
26:04The girl likes me. And I'm sitting there
26:06and my knees are going like this. And
26:08here's the realization that I had. And
26:10and by the way, the the next few
26:11approaches I did were very similar to
26:12that. And I had to bail out usually
26:14after about 2 or 3 minutes. Um what I
26:17realized was all of the tactics that I
26:20had been learning were like a shell
26:24over the old me.
26:26And nothing internally had actually
26:28changed. Even in spite of having
26:31success, nothing internal. There had
26:33been no shift there. They're pro. I
26:34mean, I shouldn't say nothing because
26:36when I first started, I probably
26:39couldn't have even lasted 3 minutes. So,
26:41maybe a little bit had changed, but for
26:43the most part, uh, I had I was not the
26:45man I thought I was. Let's put it to you
26:47that way. I thought I was like this big
26:48pimp, you know, and clearly I was not
26:50the man that I thought I was. And there
26:52was something that was going on there.
26:53And we're going to talk a lot about that
26:55later and about how your concepts of
26:57reality work and how why for me to go up
26:59to a girl and just approach normally was
27:02so opposing my concept of reality at
27:05that point that my mind couldn't accept
27:06it. And we'll talk more about that
27:08later. All right? But anyway, look,
27:12I brought on the team. I got us all
27:14doing that. Okay? I got us all going
27:16out.
27:19Started working on that. Started getting
27:22the hang of it. started making new
27:24distinctions. It was slow. All right, it
27:27was very slow at first. At first, it was
27:28just a matter of going out there, being
27:30natural, and just not being terrified.
27:32It was a slow process, guys. Eventually,
27:34I just stuck at it, okay? I really stuck
27:37at this. I made a commitment to it.
27:39Had all sorts of issues. I had all these
27:41great I'd be talking to the girl
27:42thinking, "Man, I could like, you don't
27:44even know that I could get you because I
27:46have all these tactics. You don't even
27:48know." Right? And I would just sit
27:49there, but I'm like, "No, I'm not going
27:50to use it. I'm not going to use it."
27:52Right? and I stuck at it, okay? And
27:54started coming up with different
27:56principles, started making new
27:57distinctions that were completely
27:59different. Now, I want you guys to
28:00really think about this. Look, when you
28:03come up when you have a model, okay,
28:05when you have a model of how things
28:06work,
28:08here's like maybe the foundation, right?
28:10Here's here's where you how you think it
28:12works and then you have all these
28:13different like principles.
28:16Okay? So the principles make sense
28:18within the model like the foundational
28:20assumptions and stuff like that, right?
28:22So for example, if this is a foundation,
28:25if this is like a foundation of how you
28:26think that women are above you, then
28:28everything that you're going to look for
28:29from that point on is going to lead to
28:31that conclusion. You're going to keep
28:32finding more and more evidence to
28:34support that conclusion, aren't you? If
28:36you believe that women are here and
28:38you're there, you will continually find
28:40evidence to support that conclusion and
28:42you'll have blind spots. anything that
28:43falls outside of that. Um,
28:46so look, when you take this away, all
28:49this stuff is nixed out as well. We had
28:51to come up with entirely new principles.
28:53The blueprint took me a long time to
28:55write because look, at first I started
28:57writing the book, but then I had to let
28:59it sink in. All right, I had to redo
29:01everything from scratch. Basically, let
29:03it sink in. Go out, teach it to people,
29:06see where they get confused on it.
29:08Right? I've had the blueprint book
29:09written for like four years. I you guys
29:12see my my writing capacity. I write an
29:14average of several thousand pages of
29:15content a year. To write a couple
29:17hundred page book I could do in a couple
29:18weeks easily, if not maybe a couple
29:20days. So the thing was though was I had
29:24to keep teaching it to people, seeing
29:26where they're getting confused, keep
29:27experimenting with it. I've been
29:29experimenting with this body of
29:30knowledge now for several years, okay?
29:32teaching it every single weekend on live
29:34programs, seeing where it confuses
29:36people, seeing where people are getting
29:38it, seeing how to make it work until
29:40we've gotten to the point now
29:43where the boot camp has gotten out of
29:45control.
29:47Okay, who here's taking a boot camp?
29:49Okay, would you guys say out of control
29:50is a good word?
29:52>> Okay, the boot camps are out of control.
29:55All right. It's to the point now where
29:57it is obnoxious because a lot of the
30:00time guys can come in with virtually no
30:02level of success and just get insane
30:04results so quickly. And the reason why
30:06is because we're using the types of
30:07principles that I'm going to teach to
30:08you guys. All right. The reason why the
30:10principles that we're going to teach you
30:11guys are so raw and so underground and
30:14just so like bang bang bang bang is
30:16simply because we've taught them every
30:17single weekend. We like look to make
30:20something really work like when I teach
30:21a boot camp for example to make it
30:22really work I'm always thinking of it
30:25like a puzzle and there's different
30:26pieces of the puzzle that I'm trying to
30:28make fit into your reality right I'm
30:30trying to go is that going to fit in his
30:32reality no okay try it like this no okay
30:34try it like this and then it goes click
30:35and then here's the next piece of the
30:36puzzle it's like uh click and then once
30:39everything just kind of goes click you
30:41see the guy just kind of hit state boom
30:43he goes into state and from there his
30:45results just go like that immediately
30:47all Right? It's very fast kind of thing.
30:51And what the blueprint was in many ways
30:53was me trying to find the pieces of the
30:55puzzle to make it fit into my own
30:58reality. Trying to make this stuff fit
31:00into my world. Trying to make this stuff
31:02click in a way where I could say, "Yeah,
31:04that makes sense." And then I could give
31:06myself permission to do the things that
31:07I know worked. All right? Because you
31:09know, most of us in this room, we
31:11already know how to be successful with
31:13women, but you just don't give yourself
31:14permission to do so.
31:16The blueprint is basically about
31:17becoming the sexworthy guy. Who here's
31:19seen transformations?
31:21>> Couple of you. You guys enjoy that.
31:24>> This is a [ __ ] audience. I'm not going
31:25to talk anymore if you guys aren't going
31:26to do that. Yeah.
31:28>> Okay. You guys enjoy transformations?
31:30>> Clearly, you had that's a that's a like
31:32a gimme because you wouldn't be here if
31:34you didn't enjoy transformations. You be
31:35like, "These guys suck." And just be
31:36done. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Here.
31:39Look. Let's do audience practice. Okay.
31:42Huh? Tyler says joke.
31:46Okay, you guys having fun?
31:49>> Yeah.
31:49>> Okay. All right. You guys having fun?
31:52>> Yeah.
31:53>> All right.
31:55Joke. Joke. Joke. Okay.
31:57>> Ah, that was [ __ ] [ __ ] That last
31:59one. Come on.
32:02>> All right. Look, this is about your
32:03experience, not mine.
32:05>> Okay. It's about your experience. You
32:06can sit there. Okay. This is four days.
32:09Yo, four days.
32:11[laughter]
32:12Right. Yeah. So, look. Okay. You guys
32:15saw transformations. You guys seen Tim's
32:17speech where he says the sexworthy man,
32:19right? He talks about the cho, the
32:22entertainer man, and then he talks about
32:24the sexworthy guy. All right, that's the
32:26guy who is not just going out doing
32:28approaches and you know, the girl
32:30giggles for a bit and to other guys it
32:33appears good.
32:35Okay, because isn't that a funny thing?
32:36In in a lot of ways, the tactics that
32:38we've learned in this community has
32:39created a situation where a guy who's
32:41not really getting success with women
32:43can go out and make his other guy
32:44friends appear that he's getting
32:46incredible success with women.
32:48>> All right. Who here's at a level now,
32:50and I was for a long time. So, I want to
32:51just see who here's at a level where
32:55to your guy friends, you look like the
32:58biggest pimp they've ever seen, but
33:00you're still looking for that next level
33:01yourself. You know, you're not there
33:02yet. Who's at in that kind of phase?
33:04Yeah. See, very, very common. It is
33:06incredibly common because look, if we
33:08teach you how to do an approach and how
33:10to make a girl laugh, that looks
33:11incredible. Most guys cannot do that,
33:13can they? They can't do it. But
33:17when it comes time to seal the deal,
33:21that's a different story now, isn't it?
33:23Because you know what? From attraction
33:25to the close, it's only maybe one last
33:28mile. But that's a long last mile if you
33:31don't know how to run it. Okay? That's a
33:33one confusing last mile if you don't
33:35know how to make that happen. And that's
33:36why whenever I teach a boot camp and I
33:38by the way the reason I talk about boot
33:40camps a lot, that's my life. I want to
33:42make that clear. My life is teaching
33:45boot camps. That's what I do. Okay?
33:47Every weekend I teach boot camps and
33:49then if I'm not teaching boot camps, I'm
33:50in front of the computer [laughter]
33:52working and managing the company. So
33:54basically boot camps is the only fun
33:56that I have almost. All right. So I talk
33:58about boot camps a lot. Now look,
34:02when I teach a boot camp, I'm not
34:04looking to teach a guy how to get a girl
34:06entertained. Entertaining a girl is
34:07fine. Sometimes when girls or sometimes
34:09when when guys if you guys hear, "Okay,
34:12don't be the entertainer guy and you're
34:14like, "Oh, man. I'm I'm entertaining
34:16her. I better stop." Okay? I'm not
34:18saying that. All right? I'm not saying
34:20that you can entertain, but you have to
34:23be amusing yourself. All right? We call
34:24that self amusement as opposed to trying
34:26to push buttons. We'll go more into that
34:27later. Anyway, look, anything that we're
34:30teaching here, the goal is to be the
34:31sexworthy guy. The blueprint assumes the
34:34basic knowledge, okay? I'm assuming
34:36you've seen foundations. I'm assuming
34:38that you've probably seen
34:39transformations. And look, if you
34:40haven't, you can go back and see them.
34:42We've got a, you know, great free
34:43two-hour audio that's floating around as
34:45well off the homepage that can teach you
34:47how to do approaches. This is not about
34:49how to do an approach. Okay, we covered
34:51that. Okay, we did that one already.
34:54This is a new one. Anytime I do a
34:56program in general, we're talking new
34:58content. I'm going to cover new areas.
34:59I'm not going to rehash the same thing.
35:02Inevitably, that's going to piss a few
35:03people off because they're like, "Oh,
35:06but how do I do all this stuff? Like,
35:07how what's your line? What's the pickup
35:10line? How do I approach?" I'm like, "Yo,
35:13we covered that 5 years ago." Okay, so
35:16the thing is, okay, and I respect that.
35:18Like, no, like I love newbies. Like,
35:19don't don't get me wrong. If you don't
35:21know this stuff, during the breaks, ask
35:23around the audience. Ask the other
35:25instructors that are here. You know,
35:26they'll fill you in on stuff. If you're
35:27behind, don't don't panic. It's real
35:29straightforward stuff. Okay? This is
35:31about that sexworthy guy level. Okay?
35:33This is about the the being, not doing.
35:36This is about being successful with
35:38women is something you are, not
35:40something that you're doing. Okay?
35:42You're not like, "There's a girl now. I
35:44have to feel like I need to be doing
35:45something." Okay? It's not like that.
35:47All right? Okay. It's like, "Yo, this is
35:51me." Okay? Boom. All right. That's what
35:53you're thinking. Okay, the being, like I
35:56said, don't go the I mean, look,
35:58obviously everyone here is probably
35:59going to go this route initially because
36:00everyone makes mistakes and I've made
36:02this mistake. Don't go the don't be
36:04paranoid if you're being entertaining,
36:06but this is not about teaching you how
36:08to entertain a girl. This is about
36:09teaching you to be the sexworthy guy.
36:11The kind of guy who Look, being like
36:14really frank, what kinds of results
36:15could you expect if you get the stuff
36:17down? Pretty much a lifestyle in terms
36:19of women of total abundance. All right.
36:22Total abundance. What does that mean? It
36:24means that you can go out to a new city,
36:26meet a girl when you're there, no
36:28problem. All right. We have a guy. Is
36:31Dale here today? No, Dale's not here
36:33yet. Well, look, Dale's the guy who's
36:35taken uh the program with me out before
36:37and then he came out and took a second
36:39one in Hawaii. He came to Hawaii for a
36:41week and he had three different girls
36:43that week. All right. Great results,
36:46right? I see that. And and you know
36:48what? It's like, look, he came into a
36:50new city, he met a girl. He had just
36:52been on a trip the week before. He was
36:54out in Chicago. He'd met a nice girl
36:56there. He'd been out, I think it was
36:58Miami, he met a nice girl there. All
37:00right. If he wants a girlfriend, you
37:02know, cuz he probably will start
37:03thinking in that direction at some
37:04point. He has a choice from a lot of
37:06different women. So, he can meet the
37:08girl he likes. Did you guys know that
37:09I've been in a relationship for a while?
37:10Anyone know that?
37:11>> Yeah.
37:12>> Yeah. I have a great relationship. And
37:13people say, "Wow, man. What's the secret
37:15to your success with your relationship?"
37:17It's like, yo, I picked from among
37:21literally thousands upon thousands of
37:24girls
37:25the one that I wanted to date on a long
37:28term. Of course, it's going to be a good
37:31relationship. Okay? Of course. All
37:34right. And look, there's a lot of great
37:35stuff I could teach you guys about
37:36relationships, but the point is is that
37:38what I'm looking for here, look, it's
37:41very rare. Okay? Isn't it funny how the
37:43perception of this community is like a
37:45lot of people think that the guys are
37:46all out trying to like nail girl after
37:48girl after girl after girl, but the
37:49truth is most guys here are looking for
37:51a girlfriend. The thing is though, if
37:53you want to get a great girlfriend,
37:55you're not going to get that by, you
37:57know, going to your uh, you know, well,
38:01I don't want to basically offend a lot
38:02of ways that I think are utterly stupid,
38:04but basically, look, all the generic
38:06ways that most people do are completely
38:07stupid. They don't work. All right? You
38:09just have to look at the the divorce
38:11rates in this country, anything like
38:12that. You can just see all that stuff.
38:13So, and there's a lot of other reasons
38:14for them oversimplifying, but look,
38:18if you guys want to live a lifestyle of
38:20abundance
38:21where the whole women issue is taken
38:23care of, that's the kind of stuff that
38:26we're looking to go into this weekend.
38:28All right, the full transformation, the
38:30deep identity level change. Okay, so you
38:32guys remember the themes of this
38:33program.
38:35All right, keep this in your head.
38:50deep identity level change
39:02being not doing.
39:06It's not
39:10something you do.
39:14It's something you are.
39:20It's been a long time, guys. This has
39:22been a long road to get here, but any
39:24guy that teaches R teaches with RSD is
39:26at a point where he can pretty much see
39:29the girl he wants to talk to, walk up,
39:32introduce himself with nothing
39:33pre-planned in his head, and probably do
39:35a pretty darn good job. All right, it's
39:38been a long road to get here. Now that
39:40we see it, it's so elusively simple. You
39:43could smack your head against the wall
39:45for not seeing it for all these years.
39:47But that's the level that we're talking
39:49about and that's what we're looking to
39:50get to for you guys. All right? That's
39:52what we want here. Deep identity level
39:54change. Something that you are, not
39:57something that you do. Okay? Being, not
39:59doing. All right? Still involves going
40:02out, talking to lots of girls. Some guys
40:05get caught up in this. They go, "Well,
40:06I'm just being now, so I just go about
40:08my day and play Warcraft." All right?
40:11Okay. Right. Well, [clears throat]
40:14that's not what this is about. Look, all
40:16the principles that we've studied up
40:18until now hold true. All of it. All the
40:21principles still hold. Okay. You must go
40:24out. God. Wow. Isn't that a funny one?
40:27Okay. Why is going out so important?
40:29It's blows me away how many guys say,
40:31you know, I just can't figure out the
40:33sticking point to get to the next level.
40:35Really? Well, how much have you been
40:35going out lately? Well, I've been so
40:38busy, you know, right? What? What? No.
40:42No. If you just go out, most of the most
40:44your sticking points autocorrect. They
40:47auto correct. You don't even need help.
40:49But the thing is, a lot of guys think
40:51that. So, look, you still got to go out.
40:54You still got to approach lots of
40:55people. You still got to be social. So,
40:57I'm sorry about that, guys, if that
40:59bothers you. I hope it doesn't. Okay?
41:01Still got to be social. But we're coming
41:02from a different frame now. We're coming
41:04from the being, not doing frame. And
41:05it's a great frame. It's going to be
41:07amazing when you guys see the power of
41:08it. All right? So, that's what this is
41:11about, guys. That's what the blueprint
41:12is about. Okay, deep identity level
41:14change. And we're going to take you guys
41:16on a journey. Okay, this is an
41:18incredible journey because it's 4 days,
41:21guys. And the truth be told, I could
41:23have made this seminar 10 days, but we
41:25made it 4 days instead because I believe
41:28that after 4 days, people would go
41:30insane. So, we had to compress it into
41:34four days. All right. Um,
41:38you know, I've been rehearsing for this
41:40for over a year. All right. Any anytime
41:42that I create um, you know, a DVD
41:44program, I'll do rehearsal after
41:46rehearsal typically for live audiences
41:47to get it nice and streamlined. And, um,
41:51it's funny because every rehearsal that
41:52I did at first,
41:55the first one was two days, and I didn't
41:58I didn't even know if I had enough
41:59material to cover two days.
42:01But after two days, I'd only covered
42:03about 20% of the book. Then I went to
42:05three days and only covered like 20% of
42:07the book. Then I went to four days and
42:08only covered about 20% of the book. And
42:10the reason why was because there was so
42:11much to be taken out of there. All
42:14right? So many different epiphies that I
42:15was having. Then we had to like
42:17reassemble it. [laughter] All right? To
42:19be able to cover everything. But look,
42:20we're going to take you guys on a
42:21journey from social conditioning
42:25and the ego
42:28towards authenticity and self-esteem.
42:31All right? And these are like you can
42:33think of it like a continuum.
42:39And over here you have social
42:40conditioning
42:43and over here
42:46authenticity.
42:49All right. Think of that
42:52most people in the world are on this
42:53side and there's a few people in the
42:55world on this side here. Okay. And
42:56authenticity is a big word with a lot of
42:58grand claims around it. And uh I think
43:01for anyone to say I am authentic. That's
43:02a bit cheesy. All right? And I'm not
43:04trying to come across like that and I
43:05don't want you guys to try and come
43:06across like that. But look, we're going
43:08to take you guys on that journey. Okay?
43:11What's involved in it? What it takes
43:13that kind of direction. And this seminar
43:15is going to be very wax on, wax off.
43:18Which means that the first day I'm going
43:20to lay out a lot of principles for you
43:22guys. And you may walk away the first
43:25day saying, "I have no idea what the
43:27hell this is about.
43:30What is this? I don't know. And I've
43:32seen that on the seminar.
43:34And the second day, we're going to lay
43:36out more principles. And again, wax on,
43:39wax off. You may not know how it's
43:41related to dating or you might, okay?
43:43Depending on how how much you've studied
43:45this type of stuff. But on the third
43:47day, all these building blocks that
43:48we're going to have laid out are going
43:50to start going click, click, click. And
43:54the third day is typically where I start
43:56to see you guys going
43:58like that. And then the fourth day, I'll
44:00leave that a surprise, but it's [ __ ]
44:03tight. All right, so that's what this
44:05seminar is going to be about, guys. Most
44:08people walk through the world in a
44:09walking days. A trance. A walking days,
44:13guys. That's the first principle that
44:15you need to understand. Okay? Most
44:17people in the world walk through life in
44:19a walking days.
44:21Can you guys repeat that after me?
44:25Take a pause. I'll teach you guys how to
44:27do this repeat repetition thing.
44:29>> Repeat after me. Most people in the
44:31world walk through life in a walking
44:32days.
44:36>> Do it again. Most people in the world
44:39walk through life in a walking days.
44:42>> Most people.
44:45>> One last time. Most people in the world
44:48walk through life in a walking days.
44:51Most people in the world
44:55>> confusion confusion. Most people in the
44:58world walk through life in a walking
45:00dance. Why do I make you repeat this
45:01stuff? Look, anytime I ask you guys to
45:03repeat stuff, it's because I want to
45:04hammer it into your head. It's called
45:05constant repetition. It's a teaching
45:06principle. Look, most people in the
45:09world walk through life in a walking
45:10days. They don't know what their values
45:12are. They do not have a concept of their
45:14own values. They do not have a concept
45:16of who they are. They don't know what
45:18they want out of life. and they're being
45:20tinkered with by other people who do.
45:24[laughter]
45:25Or worse yet, not even other people who
45:27even know what they want out of life.
45:29Just other people who are being
45:30controlled by their own egos and they
45:32don't even know what they're doing. They
45:34don't even know what is going on. But
45:36look, before we clear this up and before
45:39we go into that, let's think about the
45:41common misconceptions. And you guys
45:43should know these, but I love to start
45:44the seminar like this because you guys
45:46have to have a clear-cut principle
45:49of what it is that most guys think. So,
45:51let's think about this, okay? What do
45:53most guys think will get them girls? The
45:57first one,
45:58>> money.
46:01Money.
46:03All right. Look,
46:05you guys think money is going to get you
46:07girls? Huh? Does anyone here think that?
46:09>> Okay, let me ask you this. Okay, let me
46:12ask you this one.
46:14Would money, say that you've already got
46:17really good skills with women, you know,
46:19you've got everything together. Would
46:21you say that money, like, you know, it's
46:22like a nice bonus, right? Like a bonus
46:24kind of. Would you guys say that?
46:25>> It's like a bonus, right?
46:27>> No.
46:28>> Money doesn't do [ __ ] Okay. Money is
46:31[ __ ] useless when it comes to pickup.
46:33Unless you're talking about gold
46:34diggers. You go to Las Vegas.
46:37>> Oh, hell yeah. Money's great there, man.
46:39the local girls that live there, you
46:41know, a lot of them. I've had girls even
46:43say to me like, "Honey, you're great,
46:44but unless you've got a bunch of money
46:46with you right now, you need to move
46:47on." Okay, but yo, you want to date
46:51those girls? You kidding me? All right,
46:54so yes, look, in the same way,
46:58take um you know those guys that take
46:59like massive amounts of steroids, like
47:01the huge ones like Jay Cutler and guys
47:03like that, right? You know, you know
47:06what I'm saying? Ron Coleman, those big
47:08dudes, right? I I don't want to I'm not
47:10talking down on them at all. Actually,
47:11you know what? I'll say this. I have
47:12more respect for a Jay Cutler or Ron
47:14Coleman who has who has dedication to go
47:17through the grind every day than just
47:18say some other dude uh you know who's
47:21just living passively. They're doing
47:23they've made their choice to do what
47:24they want with their health and whatnot.
47:25They've made that choice. I'm not
47:27judging it. But the point is a guy like
47:29you know say Jay Cutler,
47:32most women when they see that are
47:34probably terrified. Okay? Right? But
47:37there is one or two% of women who when
47:39they see Jay color and some of them are
47:41really hot I'm sure like smoking when
47:43they see Jay it's on right he just needs
47:46to go let's here's my room or not even
47:48like here's the wall okay here's the
47:50bathroom all right seriously I have no
47:52doubt that guy live I have no doubt that
47:54that those guys live in a lifestyle of
47:57sexual abundance beyond which any of us
47:59could even fathom actually. All right
48:00especially with the social proof and
48:02that kind of stuff of being in front of
48:03audiences and all that. So look,
48:07sure, when you see a guy with money, he
48:10may appear that he's having success
48:13because he's got women up on him, right?
48:16He might have, you know, those couple
48:18girls that find men of power to be
48:21extremely attractive, like men of
48:23financial means. And there's a certain
48:25percentage of women and some of them
48:27which are very attractive, which find
48:28which find that to be a turnon. Okay.
48:32Sure. Got it. Okay. It's true.
48:36So, you see that and you think to
48:38yourself, "That's the answer, man.
48:41That's my answer. I need to make more
48:43money and then I could finally get a
48:45girl." [laughter]
48:47Oh, [ __ ] No. Let me tell you. Look,
48:52not only is money not going to help you
48:54with the vast majority of girls,
48:57particularly the ones that you want.
49:00Not only that, but it's going to slow
49:02down the process of you hooking up with
49:03the girls that you want because I've had
49:06many a rich client and they'll say to
49:09me, I have a variety. Here's the
49:11continuum. On the one side, you have the
49:14rich guy who comes on boot camp who just
49:16has no success at all.
49:20Why? Because not only is he a Choad, and
49:24by the way, when I say Chad, I actually
49:25I love Chad. We even have t-shirts say I
49:27love Chad on them. Okay, I'm serious.
49:29Okay, but okay, I'm a exch. Okay, so but
49:34you know, I relate to them more than
49:35probably cool people supposedly. But
49:36anyway, look, um not only is he a cho,
49:39but now he's got this [ __ ] ego where
49:42when he talks to girls, he's like, "So,
49:43uh I think it's 9:00,
49:47right?" And the girl's like, "Oh my god,
49:50dude. Oh man. Lame." All right. So, not
49:54only does he have the issue that he's
49:56not he doesn't have the actual skills
49:58with women, but he's got this big image
50:01to live up to that he can't even live up
50:03to. So, look, the money's not helping
50:05him there. On the other hand, you have
50:07guys that are that that are very
50:08successful
50:10and have money like like guys because
50:12sometimes very very very advanced guys
50:14will still come take the program.
50:15Actually, maybe one in five are like
50:17that. So, I've had clients that will
50:19come that will say, "Uh, yeah, I'm
50:22incredibly wealthy. I live in a big
50:23mansion and I'm good with girls. I bring
50:25girls back and you know what happens
50:26when I get them back to my mansion? They
50:29don't want to have sex anymore. They
50:30want me to take them on a date now,
50:33right? They want to be my girlfriend
50:35now, right? And suddenly when it was
50:37all, oh yeah, let's go hook up." It's
50:39like, I'm not that kind of a girl,
50:42right?
50:43>> [laughter]
50:43>> I'm the dateworthy. I was not as I'm not
50:47a wasn't going to do anything. I don't
50:49have one night stands. No. Right. And so
50:52now so what happened was he was about to
50:54hook up with the girl and now she sees
50:56his house and now it's a no-go.
50:59All right. So look, the money is not
51:02helping you. It's not doing anything.
51:04And here's the last one. Who? Okay,
51:05we're in Los Angeles right now. All
51:07right. We're in LA. Love LA. Lived here
51:11for years. All right. All right. I live
51:12in Honolulu now. Now look,
51:14>> what's that?
51:15>> I'm from the same island, same city as
51:16you.
51:17>> Aahu.
51:18>> Yeah.
51:18>> Represent. All right. Good stuff. Um, so
51:22look,
51:24LA,
51:25[sighs]
51:26you ever go out to the nightclubs out
51:28here and see those rich guys with the
51:29nice tables and the girls all around?
51:31>> You guys see that?
51:32>> Yeah. Yeah. It looks pretty cool, huh?
51:34Man, is that ever intimidating when
51:35you're new? Little small town Canadian
51:38boy like me, right?
51:40>> Canadian. Yeah,
51:42>> I grew up in Ottawa and then uh lived in
51:44Kingston.
51:46>> Yeah, Vancouver. Nice. Cool.
51:47Representative. All right. So, look,
51:52you go into a nightclub in LA, man. You
51:54see those girl, you see the guys at the
51:56tables and they're surrounded by girls
51:58and you just look at it and you you just
52:00feel like, damn, I got no chance.
52:03How could I compete with that? I don't
52:05have $200, $300 to blow on a table or
52:09600 or,000, whatever they're charging
52:11out here these days. What is it out
52:12here? [laughter]
52:15>> That's what I have to say. That's what I
52:16say. $1,000. Haha. Okay. That's what I
52:18have to say to that. All right. Unless
52:20you want it for you. Unless you've got
52:22Unless you have so much cash and you
52:23want it for you. And I and I do respect
52:25that. But if you're doing that for
52:27girls, you're going to blow $1,000 so
52:29that you can have girls come to your
52:30table. Man, you get a lot of lap dances
52:32for $1,000.
52:34man. And that's about what you're going
52:36to get with that table. All right?
52:38Because guess what? Those guys are not
52:41hooking up with those girls. How do I
52:43know? Cuz I got friends, man. And some
52:45of them get tables. And I see what
52:46happens. You look at it, you're like,
52:48whoa. Right? Like I've been to the
52:50table, sit down the table, hot
52:52nightclub.
52:53Damn, man. The girls come up, start like
52:55grinding around you and dancing around
52:57you and stuff like that. This is
52:58awesome. You're like, and I've even had
53:00thoughts like this. Like even me running
53:02RSD, I'm like [ __ ] all this game [ __ ]
53:06Seriously, I'm like like I'm like this
53:08is amazing. This is awesome, right? But
53:11no, because look, what have you
53:13categorized yourself as? Okay, this is
53:15what I find out like an hour later when
53:16I realize it. Look more carefully. When
53:18you've got the table, you've just
53:20categorized yourself as the provider.
53:22You are the providing male. All right,
53:26you are not think of Look, think of it
53:28this way. You guys ever heard of the
53:29lover provider distinction as seen in uh
53:33the um sperm wars?
53:36>> Yeah.
53:36>> Who wrote that?
53:38>> Sperm wars.
53:40>> Dawkins. Richard Dawkins.
53:41>> I think Richard Dawkins wrote the
53:42selfish gene.
53:44>> Something
53:44>> Robin Baker.
53:45>> Yeah.
53:45>> All right. I just want to reference that
53:46for people at home. Okay. So, look, they
53:48call that the lover provider
53:50distinction. Okay.
53:58For those of you who are super advanced
54:00and who've heard this for years and
54:01years, don't start panicking going, I
54:02thought this was the advanced seminar.
54:03What is this lover provider covering
54:05that again? Don't worry, covering the
54:06basics. This will get more your brains
54:08will be melting out of your ears soon
54:10enough. So, don't panic. Now, look,
54:12lover provider distinction. I like to go
54:14over these fundamentals just because I
54:16want to build off of them.
54:18the provider guy in the in the book
54:20Sperm Wars. What he basically says is
54:21real simp look, it's pretty okay, look
54:24on one level, there's a lot of evidence
54:26that I've seen in the real world to
54:27support this. Like so much evidence I
54:29could almost run away in terror. But at
54:31the same time, if you start thinking
54:33like this, it's a pretty unhealthy way
54:35of thinking. Like if you're if you're
54:36thinking like in that sperm wars reality
54:38all the time and you've got your own
54:40girlfriend and you think she's going to
54:41get like inseminated by some dude and
54:43[ __ ] that's really horrible, unhealthy
54:45way of thinking. Okay. So, it's like
54:47it's like that paradox. Like on one
54:48hand, you can know about this stuff, but
54:50on the other hand, I don't want you guys
54:52to start turning into those guys that
54:53are like these guys in the community,
54:54they're like, "I'm just so down and
54:56confused cuz ever since I joined the
54:58community, I think I can't even have a
55:00girlfriend cuz she's going to cheat on
55:01me. She's going to get sperm." All
55:04right. Okay. All right. [laughter]
55:07I don't, you know, don't go, please
55:09don't go in that heads. That's a That is
55:11a self-fulfilling prophecy waiting to
55:14happen. That's the best way I could
55:15describe that. So, look, what they say
55:17in sperm wars is basically the girl can
55:19have a boyfriend who provides for her.
55:22He's got the money. And then in order to
55:25get the best genetics when she's feeling
55:27her most fertile, whenever that would
55:29be, she will go wander off and hook up
55:31with the guy who's going to give her the
55:32great strong alpha male powerful kids so
55:35that she can have lots of plentiful
55:37grandchildren. Great stuff. Now look,
55:42if you're trying to use money as a way
55:44to pick up girls, where are you landing?
55:49>> Okay, provider.
55:51All right, which means what? How does
55:54the dating process go with a provider?
55:57>> Step one, the date, which gets the kiss
56:01on the cheek at the end. She goes, "Oh,
56:05all right. I'll think of the queen.
56:11>> Yeah.
56:18>> Okay.
56:20>> Okay. Right. Dead's day one. Day two,
56:23it's like,
56:26okay, maybe on date three, you'll get
56:28it. Maybe on month three.
56:32Okay. All right. Because you're dating.
56:34Okay. Do you think that there is a
56:37single girl in Los Angeles who's not had
56:38a 1A sand? [laughter]
56:41Only a very religious woman has not
56:44probably had a 1A sand living in LA. All
56:46right? And that's a huge generalization
56:48and Venice people are going to just kill
56:50me for this someday in the future when
56:52I'm like 50. But [laughter]
56:56do you hear what this man said? I have
56:57never had a one night fan. Never. Okay.
57:00But look,
57:02the best way to meet a girl, as we all
57:03know, is hook up with her and then after
57:05you can build a relationship because
57:07once you've hooked up, you've got a
57:08couple hours together, you've spent time
57:10together, you've already shown if you
57:11have sexual chemistry or not. And it is
57:12very simple and straightforward to get a
57:14girl into relationship land from there.
57:16All right? So, look, you never want look
57:18the provider, he's going to have a
57:20pretty hard time saying, "No, baby. I'm
57:23the lover now." Okay? Right? All this
57:25providing that wasn't compensating for
57:27anything. I'm a big pimp. All right. On
57:30the other hand, it's very easy for this
57:32guy to shift into provider mode. It's
57:33like, well, we already had amazing sex.
57:36We have like incredible chemistry. By
57:38the way, I'd like to take care of you. H
57:42okay. Right. So, the thing is it's very,
57:44very straightforward here. Money does
57:46not help. Why do we make money?
57:50>> For ourselves.
57:51>> For yourself. Of course.
57:54You guys like, man, now that I know
57:56money doesn't get girls, I don't even
57:57want money anymore. [ __ ] money, right?
58:00[ __ ] girls, man. Okay, look,
58:03uh, living in financial abundance is
58:05something that you do so, you know, for
58:07yourself. And I mean, to me, some of the
58:09greatest things I I value in life
58:11tremendously. The first one is travel.
58:13All right, travel is something I value
58:17incredibly. Uh, beyond that is like, you
58:21know what else? I mean, living where I
58:22want to live. I live in very modest
58:24means, but I live where I want to live.
58:26All right, so look, having financial
58:29abundance, how about being able to take
58:30care of your family, [laughter] right?
58:32There's a lot of good reasons. You know,
58:34your mother, right? I want my mom to be
58:36able to come and visit me. Stuff like
58:37that. So, look, obviously money is
58:40important, but it has nothing to do with
58:42it. If you're broke, all right, if
58:44you're broke, you do not need, say that
58:46your business just crashed. All right,
58:48your business just fell apart. That is
58:51no reason to lose your mojo and think
58:54that you can't meet girls anymore. If
58:56anything
58:58broke, the one thing you can do is meet
59:01girls. That's the one constant. That's
59:04the one thing you've always got, man, is
59:06that you can meet girls even if you're
59:08broke. All right, that's the one
59:10constant. So, money, no factor, nothing.
59:15How about the next one? What's the next
59:17most limiting belief that most guys have
59:20that almost all guys have this stuck in
59:22their head? What's the next limiting
59:23belief?
59:24>> Looks.
59:24>> Looks, right?
59:27Luckily, I don't have this problem
59:30because I was born incredibly
59:31good-looking. All right. [sighs]
59:34Okay. But for you guys who have an issue
59:37with your looks,
59:41I'm totally [ __ ] kidding. Just wanted
59:42to clarify that. Okay. For those of you
59:44guys look who have an issue with your
59:45looks,
59:48it doesn't mean [ __ ] Okay? It is
59:51nothing. However, let me tell you
59:53something. For a guy who doesn't look
59:55good, this road is typically, not
59:58always, but typically a lot longer. Let
1:00:01me tell you why. Has nothing to do with
1:00:03his looks, but it does have to do with
1:00:05the limiting beliefs that are
1:00:06surrounding his looks. Okay? I had a guy
1:00:07in the office go, okay, knocking to see
1:00:10if he's home, right? And that's the
1:00:11thing. It's absolutely true. Most guys
1:00:13who don't look good, in the same way
1:00:15that when I was talking to you guys
1:00:16earlier about going up to a girl and
1:00:18just saying, you know, introducing
1:00:19myself and giving a compliment, and my
1:00:21knee started to shake, guys who don't
1:00:23look good have tend to, not always, but
1:00:26often times have a difficult time
1:00:28piecing it into the reality that they
1:00:30could attract hot women even though
1:00:31they're not six feet tall or ripped or,
1:00:35you know, have the uh King Arthur like
1:00:38jawline or whatever it is. All right?
1:00:40They don't look Scandinavian. Sorry.
1:00:43Okay. So, the thing is is like
1:00:47this looks thing, man. All right. Now,
1:00:49wouldn't you guys say that although
1:00:52looks don't matter, having looks is
1:00:55like, you know, it's like a nice bonus.
1:00:57Like, it helps a bit, right? Like a
1:00:59little bit of a bonus.
1:01:00>> Yes.
1:01:00>> No. The [ __ ]
1:01:04Okay.
1:01:06It doesn't do anything. All right.
1:01:08Here's what it does. If you're a Chad,
1:01:11oh, it helps.
1:01:13Being a bad-looking Chad is a brutal
1:01:15combination. All right? Because you're a
1:01:18Chad and you're bad-looking. A
1:01:19good-looking guy, he can have some
1:01:22success. Even if he's a Chad, because
1:01:24there's some girls that will choose him.
1:01:25Some girls will say, "He's cute." And he
1:01:27will have a level of success. He'll have
1:01:29some. He'll also have all these other
1:01:31issues like, "Oh man, when I get older,
1:01:32I don't know what I'm going to do." And
1:01:34all these other freaking problems. But
1:01:36but but but yes, being good-looking,
1:01:40isn't it so nice because you can get
1:01:43results more quickly? You have, you
1:01:44know, you can be a cho and if you do
1:01:47enough approaches, you can get a level
1:01:48of skill.
1:01:49>> A ch.
1:01:50>> A cho?
1:01:51>> Have you ever seen the Jeffy show?
1:01:53>> I couldn't explain as well as Jeffy
1:01:54could.
1:01:55>> Well, basically a Chad, if you want the
1:01:56simple definition, because Jeffy has
1:01:58like the O to the Cho kind of thing,
1:02:00right? It's pretty amazing actually. I
1:02:02watched I was like, damn. But look, um,
1:02:05AOD is is a guy who essentially, uh, he
1:02:08doesn't have his own sense of values. He
1:02:09doesn't have his own sense of identity,
1:02:11his own sort of like, you know, unique
1:02:12nature. He's looking to, he cares what
1:02:14other people think of him. He thinks
1:02:16that he has to run the grind of social
1:02:17conditioning in order to get ahead in
1:02:19life, in order to meet girls. And he and
1:02:21that tends to manifest itself in
1:02:22symptoms like buying drinks or um you
1:02:26know thinking that he needs to take a
1:02:27girl out for a year before they can have
1:02:29sex because she's a princess while
1:02:31meanwhile she's having sex with five
1:02:32other [ __ ] buddies all over town, right?
1:02:35So that's what you know that's you know
1:02:36um that's generally what a cho is. Now,
1:02:40uh,
1:02:43with the looks thing, here's the thing,
1:02:48people generally tend to only exert as
1:02:51much energy as they have to. That's just
1:02:53an evolutionary thing. So, a guy who's
1:02:56really good-looking, if he's going to
1:02:58start getting results faster, it's going
1:03:00to be harder for him to get the
1:03:03motivation to really round himself out
1:03:06in a nice way, right? Whereas, say a guy
1:03:09who's maybe short, bald, uh, you know,
1:03:14not in good shape, whatever that is,
1:03:16because he's going to have to get his
1:03:18name, his his his game, like his skills
1:03:20with women really nicely streamlined
1:03:22before he starts getting success. That's
1:03:24a beautiful thing. That's beautiful
1:03:27because what it means is that he is
1:03:29going to want because you're going to
1:03:30get it. I mean, the path is laid out,
1:03:32guys. Like, the whole deal is laid out.
1:03:34You just got to follow the damn
1:03:36instructions, you know?
1:03:38um once he gets it, he's going to be
1:03:41such a dynamic individual, right? And we
1:03:45can think of so many instances like
1:03:48we're in LA right now. Anyone here know
1:03:49easy e?
1:03:51>> Yeah.
1:03:52>> Remember Easy E?
1:03:53>> RIP E, right? He was how tall?
1:03:58>> 53. 5'5 at the most or something, right?
1:04:01[ __ ] awesome, right? The guy had sex
1:04:03with so many girls that he died of AIDS.
1:04:06I don't know if that's a good thing or
1:04:07not, but he had a lot of girls. All
1:04:09right. Now, look.
1:04:11Next. Easy E should have uh learned
1:04:14about the easy condoms. All right. Now,
1:04:17um next. Uh is Aluccino a tall guy?
1:04:22>> No.
1:04:22>> Right. Does that affect his charisma?
1:04:27>> Don't you guys think that makes him
1:04:28almost more charismatic?
1:04:31Think about this.
1:04:33The fact that he's not a huge stature,
1:04:36to me, that only makes him that much
1:04:37more charismatic. It just highlights it.
1:04:40All right. Now, look, we can find
1:04:41countless examples like this, and you
1:04:43guys can do your own research on it. But
1:04:45when a guy's charismatic and he has the
1:04:48draw, you know, he has that draw of
1:04:49attention. He's got it, man.
1:04:53God, this looks thing is so stupid. All
1:04:58right? And I see it every year that goes
1:05:01by. I've been doing this a long time,
1:05:02guys. You know, I've been doing this
1:05:03over half a decade. And every year that
1:05:05goes by, there's some poor fellow and,
1:05:08you know, who just cannot accept that
1:05:12it's his own shortcomings who will come
1:05:13on to the forum and he'll say, "I know
1:05:17it's my looks, right? I know that looks
1:05:20matter." Or you get these stupid debates
1:05:22like, you know, maybe it doesn't matter,
1:05:25but it does make a difference. I know
1:05:27it. I have this friend, right? No, man.
1:05:31It doesn't make a difference. Okay,
1:05:34there is no difference. All right, look.
1:05:37It is so freaking stupid. I can't even
1:05:40begin to describe it. If you if I could
1:05:41just let you guys see what I see, you
1:05:43would you would never think of it ever
1:05:45again. You'd never pay it a second
1:05:46thought ever again. Have you Have you
1:05:49guys not ever been at a party where the
1:05:52most popular guy there who was the
1:05:53center of attention was not
1:05:55good-looking? Has that never happened to
1:05:58you? Come on.
1:06:00Have you never been at a part like is
1:06:02the guy who's the most popular at the
1:06:04party always like the 6'2 ripped like
1:06:07sexy man? Is that always what it is?
1:06:10>> Come on, man. Give me a break. Give me a
1:06:14give yourself a break. It's not like
1:06:17that. Yes, a good-looking guy, he's
1:06:19going to get the gimmies. All right,
1:06:20he's going to get some easy ones here
1:06:22and there that a guy who's not so
1:06:23good-looking might not get. But for the
1:06:25most part, looks is going to have a very
1:06:28very minimal factor. In fact, let me
1:06:31even make make this really clear. In
1:06:33real social dynamics, we have a range of
1:06:35instructors. You've got Hooie, he's
1:06:38about 4 foot6.
1:06:41Okay? Right? You've got Todd, he's about
1:06:445'7. Jeffy's about 5'7, 5'8. I'm about
1:06:485'8, 5'9. Um, then I have other guys in
1:06:51the company that are taller, you know,
1:06:53and that are good-looking. Let me put it
1:06:55to you this way. Looks has such a little
1:06:58factor to me that not only is like half
1:07:01our instructor staff like various
1:07:03minorities that have all these
1:07:04self-hating beliefs like Asian and
1:07:05Indian, right? We've got Indian guys on
1:07:07our staff, Asian guys on our staff that
1:07:09are have amazing skills. We've got guys
1:07:12that are short, guys that are pudgy. But
1:07:14let me put it to you this way.
1:07:17I I give it so little regard that if a
1:07:20guy who's 6'7 and built and muscular and
1:07:23good-looking had the skills to become an
1:07:25instructor, I would hire him too. And
1:07:28people would say, "But that doesn't look
1:07:29good for the company. That doesn't look
1:07:31good for the company if you're hiring a
1:07:32guy like that because no one complet
1:07:34looks has such a little factor in my
1:07:36decision-m processes on uh hiring an
1:07:38instructor that I wouldn't even not hire
1:07:40an instructor for being good-looking
1:07:42because it's meaningless." Okay, there
1:07:44is no meaning behind it. Now, let me go
1:07:46even further. If this is the final
1:07:47example, if this doesn't convince you, I
1:07:48don't know what will.
1:07:51I can be out with a guy
1:07:54who not only say he's really
1:07:55good-looking, okay?
1:07:58Not only is he really good-looking, but
1:08:00he has great skills with women, like
1:08:02really, really good skills, like awesome
1:08:05skills with women. But if on that night
1:08:08I am 1% sharper, just one single percent
1:08:12sharper,
1:08:14I'll be the one getting the attention
1:08:16and getting the success
1:08:19and he'll be going with the girl that's
1:08:21not as attractive if it's like two
1:08:22girls. All right, that's the reality of
1:08:25it.
1:08:27So think about this. Wouldn't you think
1:08:29that on some level if the guy is almost
1:08:31as good as you, he's like 99% as good as
1:08:34you and he's like supremely
1:08:36good-looking, you'd think to yourself,
1:08:38he'll still get the girl. You would
1:08:40think that, but it doesn't work that
1:08:42way. It doesn't work that way. If you're
1:08:44a little bit sharper, most of the time
1:08:46you'll get the girl. Now, remember how I
1:08:48talked about anomalies? There's always
1:08:49like the look, there's always the 2% of
1:08:51girls that just have to have the tall
1:08:54guy. and she will not go home with you
1:08:57if you're not 6'3. She just won't. She's
1:08:59not going to do it. She has a rule. It's
1:09:01in her own head. She only goes home with
1:09:03guys that are 6'3 or whatever it is. She
1:09:04only goes home with rich guys, whatever
1:09:06it is. And there's that 2% of girls that
1:09:07have that. But you want to know
1:09:09something? There's also 2% of girls that
1:09:11have an attraction for whatever weird
1:09:13combination you have. I've had girls
1:09:16come up to me and they're like, "I just
1:09:18love red-headed guys. I love that guy
1:09:21from uh
1:09:23uh from the old cop show, the redheaded
1:09:26guy, David
1:09:27>> Caruso.
1:09:28>> David Caruso, right? Like I just love
1:09:30that David Caruso like making out. Okay,
1:09:35thanks. Right. Okay, that's the thing.
1:09:38Whatever type you are, I don't care what
1:09:40type you guys remember Seinfeld, Marissa
1:09:42Toé, she just loves fat little short
1:09:44bald men. You guys remember that? That's
1:09:47real, right? The show's not real, but
1:09:50stuff like that happens. Whatever you
1:09:51are, there's going to be that little
1:09:53anomaly of girls that wants that. Okay.
1:09:56My buddy uh looks like a big nerd. I
1:09:58have a buddy who's a super nerd. All
1:10:00right. And he was talking to one friend
1:10:02of mine who's like a massive pimp. 6'3
1:10:05big pimp.
1:10:08And she says, "I want to go meet your
1:10:10friend. I love nerds."
1:10:13Okay. She says that and he's like, "For
1:10:16real?" Right? She's like, "He's so hot."
1:10:18Right? [ __ ] it. Don't give him a chance.
1:10:21[ __ ] Right. Boom. Throws her on. Why?
1:10:23Because she likes nerds. There's always
1:10:25going to be that little thing. But what
1:10:27happens? Here's what happens. And drive
1:10:29me nuts. Guys are always looking for
1:10:31evidence. They're trying to be
1:10:32scientists, right? Guys are trying to be
1:10:35scientists about this. And so they'll
1:10:37see these little anomalies and they'll
1:10:39make an entire theory of pickup about
1:10:40it. Yeah. I have this rich friend and he
1:10:43always goes around. I need money. It's a
1:10:45money thing. all that kind of stuff.
1:10:47This is called social conditioning,
1:10:49guys. Social conditioning. Remember it.
1:10:52Don't buy into it.
1:10:55How about romance?
1:10:59Does romance speed up the dating process
1:11:01these days?
1:11:03>> Why
1:11:05sets up rules where they they're
1:11:07expecting certain things?
1:11:09>> Yes, exactly. If you set it up as a
1:11:11Look, for every type of method, there's
1:11:14a twist. Like there's some guys who will
1:11:15take the romantic approach and take like
1:11:17the more hardcore like you know go get
1:11:19him principles and then they'll make it
1:11:21work. So I'm not saying you know there's
1:11:22I know I know some guys that are like
1:11:23super romantic and they pull girls left
1:11:25and right. But generally speaking most
1:11:27guys see these movies don't they? They
1:11:29see these movies where they think the
1:11:30romance is what's going to work and it
1:11:32doesn't work. All right. How about
1:11:33commonalities?
1:11:35Most guys
1:11:37>> What's that?
1:11:37>> What do you mean by romance?
1:11:38>> Romance is like this. Um,
1:11:42I'm going to go on a date with this
1:11:43girl. I'm going to bring her a big
1:11:45bouquet, right? I just met this girl,
1:11:47but I'm going to bring her a bouquet and
1:11:49I'm going to bring her chocolates. You
1:11:50know, stuff like that, right? Look, the
1:11:54romantic approach could work if
1:11:58the girl is wants you so badly that
1:12:00she's intimidated of you, right? She's
1:12:03like, "Does he really like me? You know,
1:12:05he's so amazing." And then you're like,
1:12:07"Look, I went to the store and got you
1:12:09this stuff because I like you so much."
1:12:11And she go, "He really does like me.
1:12:13Okay, I could do this." If you're in
1:12:14that level, then sure. Right. But you
1:12:17guys are here in Los Angeles.
1:12:19You're talking to a hot girl. And she's
1:12:21like, "Oh, one second. That's my other
1:12:23line." Click. Hey, Jamie Fox. Hey, Colin
1:12:26Frell. How are you guys doing? Right?
1:12:28And they're doing that stuff. Okay? And
1:12:30I'm not even kidding. If you're living
1:12:32in Hollywood here, you're out and you're
1:12:35literally competing with celebrities for
1:12:37girls. So, the thing is that or for the
1:12:39really hot girls. So, look, um the
1:12:42romance thing, most guys get caught up
1:12:44in that. How about commonalities? Most
1:12:46guys are like, as soon as a girl says
1:12:48something they like, the guy's like, "I
1:12:49like that, too. I like that too. I like
1:12:52that." Does that mean we have a
1:12:54connection? Do we have a connection cuz
1:12:56we like the same thing?
1:12:59>> Where does that even come from? Who
1:13:01comes up with this stuff?
1:13:04Last one. Friendship first. I used to
1:13:07try that one.
1:13:09Right. You're going to creep it under
1:13:10the radar. It's like if I just listen to
1:13:11her talk about her problems about this
1:13:13guy that she that she has a that she has
1:13:15an issue with. Someday if I keep saying
1:13:17he's a jerk. I would never treat a woman
1:13:20like that. He has no right. And then
1:13:22eventually she'll say I want to go with
1:13:24him because he wouldn't treat me like
1:13:26that. I've just had the epiphany. It
1:13:29took me six months to have this epiphany
1:13:30that he's the one. We're meant to be
1:13:32together. All right? And I used to do
1:13:34that one, too. Of course, look,
1:13:37here's a here's a scary fact. I don't
1:13:39I'm not advocating this, okay? This is
1:13:41just like this is grown-up material,
1:13:43guys. Okay? This is grownup material
1:13:45here. So, so trying not to get upset,
1:13:48but if a girl, the last five guys that
1:13:50she's dated, cheated on her,
1:13:54what kind of guy would you want to
1:13:56project yourself as to be most likely to
1:13:58attract that girl?
1:14:01I mean, I'm not saying to even do that.
1:14:04I I I personally don't even do that cuz
1:14:06I can't even be [ __ ] to deal with that
1:14:09kind of [ __ ] But the point is, it's
1:14:12like
1:14:15the whole friendship first thing. If
1:14:17she's going for a different type of guy,
1:14:20then obviously that's what type of guy
1:14:21she likes. If she's dating this guy and
1:14:23he's giving her the emotional roller
1:14:25coaster of treating her in some kind of
1:14:27way that she doesn't she claims to not
1:14:29like, but meanwhile she keeps going back
1:14:31and going back and going back and going
1:14:33back, then obviously that's the behavior
1:14:36that she responds to. All right. So
1:14:38these are concepts called social
1:14:39conditioning.
1:14:42What is social conditioning? Where does
1:14:44it come from?
1:14:45>> Where does it come from guys? Give me
1:14:47some examples.
1:14:47>> Media.
1:14:48>> The media.
1:14:50>> Society. Of course. Social conditioning.
1:14:52Where does it come from guys?
1:14:54>> Social conditioning. Parents. Where
1:14:55else?
1:14:56>> Work. Friends. Where else?
1:14:59>> Religion. Where else?
1:15:02>> The movies. Okay. Where else? Guys,
1:15:06>> so
1:15:06>> say you dump your girlfriend. You turn
1:15:07on the radio. Or say your girlfriend
1:15:09dumps you, rather. You turn on the
1:15:10radio. What do you hear?
1:15:11>> Music.
1:15:12>> I'm in pain.
1:15:14I'm in pain. My girl left me. I'm so
1:15:18sad. I'm so empty. I'm so confused. Cuz
1:15:21love is all that matters. [ __ ] is right,
1:15:24man. Love is all that matters,
1:15:29[sighs]
1:15:29right? That's getting pumped into you.
1:15:31Okay. It is coming at you from all
1:15:34angles. Billboards,
1:15:37the television, advertising, the media,
1:15:40the radio,
1:15:43anywhere you could think of. Walt Disney
1:15:45movies. Okay, Cosmopolitan. Look
1:15:48anywhere. Look, you got the look look at
1:15:51the movie. It's called basic Hollywood
1:15:52formula here. You got the girl and the
1:15:54guy and the girl. They hit it off for a
1:15:57bit and then it falls apart and then the
1:16:00girl's going to leave town.
1:16:02She's leaving town. And then the guy
1:16:05goes,
1:16:07"She's the one.
1:16:11She's the one." [laughter]
1:16:14Then he runs, right? And she's in the
1:16:17taxi. He chases the taxi. Sarah.
1:16:20Sarah.
1:16:23I know now. You're the one. You complete
1:16:28me.
1:16:29Okay. She goes, "Really? I complete
1:16:32you?" Yes. And they make out, right? And
1:16:36these are, look, the look, I've got
1:16:37nothing against these movies. I think
1:16:38they're great. I'm like, "Oh, man.
1:16:40That's so beautiful." Right? I love them
1:16:42as much as everybody. Okay. But as it
1:16:45showed,
1:16:47here was my model of the world. I'd
1:16:48watch that. I go, "That's right. That
1:16:50guy stood up. That guy stood up and he
1:16:52went for what he wanted and told his
1:16:55feelings. And I want Sarah so bad." And
1:16:59I'd be like, so I go in to the girl and
1:17:01I go, Sarah. And dudes, I have some
1:17:03humiliating stories of my past. Okay,
1:17:05Sarah, you're the one. And Sarah's like,
1:17:08"Oh, that's nice." Right? She's like,
1:17:12"Thanks.
1:17:14I I really appreciate that." Right? And
1:17:17she's [ __ ] creeped out. Massively
1:17:20creeped out. Okay? Look, I got stories,
1:17:23guys. Okay? I tried a lot of things.
1:17:26Trial and error. At the start, it was
1:17:28painful. There was one girl who I used
1:17:30to sit beside in class. If she's
1:17:31watching this video, I'm sorry. Okay.
1:17:33She used to sit beside me in class.
1:17:35Valentine's Day was coming up. So, I
1:17:37found out her route to school cuz I
1:17:38noticed her walking on the route to
1:17:40school. So, I went and got chocolates
1:17:42and I met her on her route to school.
1:17:44Okay. I was about 20, 21 at this about
1:17:4621. And I met her on the route to
1:17:48school. She comes up. I see her coming
1:17:50through the snow and I'm like, "Hey."
1:17:51Right? And she's like, "Oh, hey. What
1:17:53are you doing here?" I'm like, "Don't
1:17:54worry about it." Right? Right? Like
1:17:55trying to be all smooth, like don't
1:17:56worry about it. Right? So I walk in. I'm
1:17:57like, "Hey, so I brought you these for
1:18:00Valentine's Day. I just want to say I
1:18:02really like you." Right? And she's like,
1:18:04"Oh, thank you. Oh, that's so nice of
1:18:07you." Gives me a hug, right? Just kind
1:18:09of bolts. Okay. So now it's March break,
1:18:13right? And I'm like, "Did it work? I'm
1:18:14gonna find out when I go back to class."
1:18:16Okay. All week I think about I'm like,
1:18:17"Man, if this works out, my life will be
1:18:21complete. That's all I want." Right? if
1:18:24I if if she would just come in my life,
1:18:27I would just be the most grateful person
1:18:29and I will treat her like a princess and
1:18:32I would just be so complete. And so I
1:18:34waited all week. School comes, I sit
1:18:36beside her. Just doesn't get talked
1:18:38about. Just sits there like a stinking
1:18:40steaming turd for the rest of the
1:18:42semester. It's like it never happened.
1:18:44We will never discuss this again. All
1:18:46right, that's what happened. Here's the
1:18:48next one. This was even more brutal.
1:18:51So, after I realized that wasn't going
1:18:52to pan out, do you know what I realized?
1:18:54I realized that look, I never really
1:18:57liked that girl. That wasn't my
1:18:59connection. It was this other girl. She
1:19:02was the connection.
1:19:04How did I not see it? God, I was so
1:19:06confused. So, anyway, she leaves school,
1:19:09but I know where she works.
1:19:12>> Okay, she I was going to school in
1:19:14Kingston. She goes to school in my
1:19:16hometown of Ottawa, right? or sorry, she
1:19:18she works in my hometown of Ottawa by
1:19:20coincidence. And I'm like, how much of a
1:19:22coincidence could this be that I found
1:19:23out where she worked and she casually
1:19:25mentioned it. She brought up where she
1:19:26works. So, she wants me to know where
1:19:27she works, right? I know what this
1:19:30means. This is fate. Me and this girl
1:19:32are meant to be together.
1:19:34So, I get a I make a decision. She works
1:19:36in an office building. I'm going to walk
1:19:37up to her office and say hi and just
1:19:40say, "Hey, I remember that you worked
1:19:41here. I was in the neighborhood. I
1:19:42thought I'd say hi." Okay. My heart's
1:19:44panic.
1:19:45I like that.
1:19:49>> [music]
1:19:51>> Okay. Goes like that. Okay. So, sitting
1:19:54there, I go, right? I walk up to her
1:19:57office. I'm getting ready to go up. I am
1:19:59terrified. I am freaking out. But I'm
1:20:01going to do it because love demands it.
1:20:04All right. Okay. I'm serious. Like, I'm
1:20:06making this funny, but I'm so serious.
1:20:08Thank god she actually by total luck
1:20:12came down and was walking out of her
1:20:14office right when I was about to go up
1:20:15by total fluke. That's is a really big
1:20:17fluke. So I spot her on the street. I
1:20:20just Hey, what's up? Oh, hey, we should
1:20:22grab lunch next week. She's like, "Yeah,
1:20:24okay." I'm like, "Here, let me get your
1:20:26phone number." She's like, "Okay, sure."
1:20:28Gives me her phone number. I'm like,
1:20:29"Yes, yes, this is it. This is fate.
1:20:32This is it." Right? Cuz I'm living in
1:20:35Hollywood reality. It's called social
1:20:36conditioning. social conditioning was
1:20:38governing how I thought. So I go home. I
1:20:40tell all my friends. Tell all my
1:20:42friends. They're like, "Good luck, man.
1:20:44Good luck, man." Tell all my friends
1:20:45about it.
1:20:48Call her up. I'm terrified.
1:20:51Terrified. My throat is constricting. I
1:20:54cannot think. I tried to call her
1:20:56multiple times. Finally, I said, "Look,
1:20:57obviously this isn't going away. I'm
1:20:58going to do it." Call her up. Set up a
1:21:01date. She says, "Yes." Bang. I'm gonna
1:21:03willing to drive from Kingston to Ottawa
1:21:05in order to go take this girl out. Okay.
1:21:07Two hours.
1:21:09Yeah. Right. Okay. So, I was willing to
1:21:11do it. So, then I uh so we set up the
1:21:16date. She calls me up later in the week.
1:21:18I've told everyone about it, by the way.
1:21:19They're all like, "Way to go, man. Way
1:21:21to go." Okay. She calls me up. She's
1:21:23like, "Hey, it's me." I'm like, "Hey,
1:21:25what's up?" She's like, "You know, my
1:21:27boyfriend's in town that day, so I'm not
1:21:29going to be able to go." Right? And I'm
1:21:31like, how does this coincide with fate?
1:21:35I don't understand, right? I couldn't
1:21:37understand that. So, I'm like I'm
1:21:38thinking about it. I'm like, she needs
1:21:39me to rescue her from her boyfriend,
1:21:41right? What could it mean? Right? So,
1:21:43like I called her back. I'm like, you
1:21:44know, I really like you. We've got to go
1:21:46out. She's like, well, I'm really busy.
1:21:48Uh, right. No go. Never saw her again.
1:21:53That's really what all this is about,
1:21:54man. Reach out to that girl. The thing
1:21:57is, okay, so this whole thing was about,
1:22:01okay, so so the thing is, look, that's
1:22:03so what what what would possess me to do
1:22:06these things? Where am I getting these
1:22:08ideas from? Where would I learn about
1:22:10how to meet how to really meet girls?
1:22:12How could I have learned? You guys have
1:22:14resources now because there, you know,
1:22:15the media is beginning to cover this
1:22:17stuff, but there was no resources. My
1:22:19only resource was Hollywood and concepts
1:22:23of social conditioning. All right, that
1:22:26was it. You want to know what's funny
1:22:28though?
1:22:31Something called full circle, right?
1:22:36And in a lot of ways, if love is here,
1:22:41you come up here,
1:22:43you know, maybe you become you learn
1:22:45tactics,
1:22:47you learn don't supplicate,
1:22:50like don't treat the girl like don't put
1:22:52her up on a don't put her up on a
1:22:54pedestal.
1:22:55Right? You learn that then you keep
1:22:57going,
1:23:00you become a player.
1:23:03Keep going, you become a natural.
1:23:09And then if you want, you can do what I
1:23:11did. And you can actually have a loving
1:23:14relationship. I have a great
1:23:15relationship,
1:23:18really great relationship. And it took
1:23:21me a few years in a path to get there.
1:23:23All right. Some of you may want to stay
1:23:25here. I know a lot of guys that just
1:23:27prefer to just do their own thing. A lot
1:23:29of guys, I have massive respect for
1:23:31that. I may at some point do it again. I
1:23:32take my relationship one day at a time.
1:23:33I never think ahead. But the point is,
1:23:35look, in order to get back here,
1:23:40there's a lot of unwiring that has to
1:23:41take place. All right? There's a lot of
1:23:44unwiring that goes on before you can do
1:23:46that.
1:23:47So
1:23:49if this is what you want,
1:23:54you got to be prepared to take a journey
1:23:56most of the time. Not always, but most
1:23:59of you guys will have to.
1:24:02>> All right. What time is it right now?
1:24:09>> Before we do that though, what's the
1:24:11time? Do you have a watch?
1:24:12>> 11:15.
1:24:13>> 11:15. What time do we start today? a
1:24:15little while.
1:24:17>> 9:45. You guys want to do a fivem minute
1:24:19break? Okay, let's slow it down. Now,
1:24:22when we go on this break, I'm going to
1:24:24teach you guys a trick. It's a very
1:24:26important trick. Have you guys ever
1:24:28heard of the gray zone?
1:24:30>> The gray zone is on one level, you have
1:24:34plugged in, working in the zone,
1:24:36focused. On the other hand, you have
1:24:40unplugged and relaxing. The gray zone is
1:24:43where you're half in one, half in the
1:24:44other. You guys might go outside and
1:24:46want to start talking about game and
1:24:47pickup and all this. Why don't you guys
1:24:50go outside and socialize and just talk
1:24:52about whatever? Okay, just chat because
1:24:55you want to know the truth. That's a lot
1:24:57closer to what pickup really is than
1:24:59talking about tactics, isn't it? Plenty
1:25:01of people
1:25:02have success with women even in spite of
1:25:06using money and even in spite of looking
1:25:08good and believe it or not even in spite
1:25:10of being romantic. You probably have
1:25:12tons of friends who have met girls by
1:25:14being romantic and through the social
1:25:16circle. Social circle is a very very
1:25:19common way that girls are met. Great.
1:25:22Awesome. It's good stuff. Lots of people
1:25:25have very healthy relationships. They
1:25:27met through churches, social circles,
1:25:29all sorts of stuff. They took a long
1:25:30time to meet each other. It's totally
1:25:33fine. It It's really beautiful thing.
1:25:35The point that we've covered though up
1:25:37until now is that there's no cause and
1:25:38effect relationship between those types
1:25:41of things that social conditioning
1:25:42represents and actual attraction. All
1:25:44right? There's no cause effect link.
1:25:47It's just arbitrary. Sometimes girls are
1:25:49attracted to a guy and he acts really
1:25:51romantic and she lets him get away with
1:25:53it. [laughter] All right? You know,
1:25:55sometimes a girl uh likes a guy and he's
1:25:59like, "Yo, check out my watch." And
1:26:01she's like, "That's a really nice
1:26:02watch." And then they wind up hooking
1:26:04up. All right. Sometimes that happens.
1:26:07It's fine. But the point is there's no
1:26:10cause and effect link.
1:26:14It is not what is sparking the
1:26:16attraction. It's not that primal
1:26:18attraction. It's just arbitrary. But
1:26:21isn't science a funny thing? When we're
1:26:23talking about an empirical science,
1:26:26people think that they know what causes
1:26:28attraction. And attraction
1:26:31in in many ways, like religion, is one
1:26:33of those areas that people have not
1:26:35wanted to touch for a long time. They
1:26:38don't want to touch it. Why? Because it
1:26:41is an area that a lot of people aren't
1:26:43comfortable with. Even just this
1:26:44conversation that we're having over
1:26:46these next four days would offend a lot
1:26:48of people. They would find it difficult
1:26:50to listen to. they would find it
1:26:51offensive. Um, even if I'm just
1:26:53expressing my views, they're not going
1:26:55to be able to say, say they disagree
1:26:56with it, right? Say they say, you know,
1:26:58I don't agree with this guy there. Most
1:26:59people who would disagree wouldn't be
1:27:01able to say, well, you know what? I just
1:27:03have a different set of opinions. They
1:27:04go, oh, listen, this is an outrage. This
1:27:06is insanity. All right? Because it's an
1:27:09emotional topic like, you know, politics
1:27:11and things like that. All right? Like
1:27:12religion, it's an emotional topic. Most
1:27:14people don't want to touch it. What I
1:27:16have to say, of course, when someone, be
1:27:18it from the media or whoever, would say,
1:27:20"Well, you know, this doesn't work." I
1:27:22go, "All right, then you try. You come
1:27:26up with something here. Here's a guy.
1:27:27Three days. Go
1:27:30make him get the girls in three days. Go
1:27:33do it your way. Try." Well, uh, well,
1:27:36that's not my special. No. Then shut the
1:27:37[ __ ] up. All right. Shut the [laughter]
1:27:39[ __ ] up. Okay. Right. Because at least
1:27:41I'm trying. Okay. At least I'm trying
1:27:43something and it's even working. So
1:27:49look, there's no cause and effect
1:27:51relationship here. It's fine. But most
1:27:53people, they haven't looked at it. All
1:27:55right? They haven't really looked at
1:27:56what's causing attraction. Even as a
1:27:59subset of that, even people who are
1:28:00looking at what's causing attraction
1:28:02sometimes create certain assumptions
1:28:04from the foundational perspective and
1:28:06make all these other rules based on
1:28:07those initial assumptions when the
1:28:09initial assumptions are wrong. And we
1:28:10talked about that from that very first
1:28:11diagram. All right. So this is a really
1:28:13hard thing to figure out. In fact, I've
1:28:15been very reserved to create a model of
1:28:18attraction for over half a decade
1:28:20because I've always wanted to stay
1:28:22open-minded as to what's really causing
1:28:25this phenomenon. All right? I've wanted
1:28:26to keep my eyes open. I don't want to
1:28:28get caught up in trying to continually
1:28:31look for validation of my own beliefs
1:28:33all the time. You know, I want to keep
1:28:34open-minded. You know what? Another five
1:28:36years, maybe I'll say, you know, I found
1:28:38even a more refined way of doing these
1:28:39things. I'm always open to it. I never
1:28:41want people to hold me to old opinions
1:28:44or old beliefs because you know what
1:28:45beliefs change. Now look, nonetheless, I
1:28:49think we've got this pretty freaking
1:28:51down now just judging by the kinds of
1:28:52results that we're getting. So, why is
1:28:55the common view wrong? First of all,
1:28:58girls are wired to go for guys that
1:29:00stand out from the crowd. Yes or no?
1:29:03>> Yes. Of course, women want the guys that
1:29:05stand out. So, whenever an approach gets
1:29:08too popular, can it still work?
1:29:11>> If it's too like is an arguable one I
1:29:13like, of course, if you're tapping into
1:29:15raw attraction, that will never stop
1:29:17working. But the point is, who here's
1:29:20ever been to an like say like a, you
1:29:21know, a Greek island or Italy or some
1:29:24kind of environment where beautiful
1:29:25women are so plentiful that they're just
1:29:28everywhere? Has anyone here ever gone
1:29:30there? Have you noticed that after a
1:29:32while they just become generic? Have you
1:29:35seen that? There's so many. You're
1:29:37surrounded by so many beautiful women.
1:29:40You're just drowning in it and they just
1:29:42seem normal. They're like, "Oh, yeah.
1:29:44She's beautiful. She's cute. Whatever."
1:29:46Because it becomes the same old same
1:29:48old. All right. Um people are wired to
1:29:52look for the ones that stand out. I live
1:29:53in Hawaii and I remember seeing a big
1:29:55group of Japanese girls and um one of
1:29:59them had the blonde hair. She dyed her
1:30:01hair blonde whereas the other ones all
1:30:03look pretty much the same. And I noticed
1:30:04that my eyes kept shifting towards the
1:30:06one that had the blonde hair. All right?
1:30:08Because she stood out from the crowd,
1:30:09even if she wasn't necessarily the
1:30:11prettiest girl. All right? Women want
1:30:13guys that stand out. That's a uh, you
1:30:15know, biological thing, an evolutionary
1:30:17thing. So, if you're doing the same old
1:30:19approach that every other guy is doing,
1:30:22which is about 95% plus of society, it's
1:30:25not going to be the one that's going to
1:30:27most likely work for you. Second of all,
1:30:29those types of approaches, generally
1:30:31speaking, are choed. They are classified
1:30:34as full choed, lame, desperate, needy,
1:30:38weak, beta. All right, [laughter]
1:30:42they suck. They don't work. All right,
1:30:45anyone who advocates them again, here's
1:30:48a guy. You've got three days. Go. All
1:30:51right, make it work. Guess what? You
1:30:53can't. All right, now look,
1:30:58you want to be thinking outside the box
1:31:01with this type of stuff. What that means
1:31:03is when we're looking at attraction, all
1:31:04right, when you're looking at how you
1:31:06think about attraction, you want to
1:31:08always be thinking for yourself. You
1:31:10don't want to be looking at what
1:31:11societyy's telling you. And you don't
1:31:13even want to look at what I'm telling
1:31:15you. You want to go out, meet women, and
1:31:18make your own decisions based on what
1:31:20you think. All right? What I'm going to
1:31:22tell you, you think about it, you go
1:31:25out, you try it. If it works, then you
1:31:28know it worked based on your own
1:31:29experience. If not, then it didn't work
1:31:32based on your own experience. But
1:31:33ultimately, you have to decide for
1:31:35yourself. Now, let's get into the first
1:31:37sort of thicker area of this seminar,
1:31:46mass confusion.
1:32:06Oh man.
1:32:08Okay. So,
1:32:10what century is this?
1:32:12>> 21st.
1:32:13>> 21st century.
1:32:15[clears throat]
1:32:16When we look back at history,
1:32:19has there ever been any examples that we
1:32:22could see as people having wrong beliefs
1:32:25about something on a mass level? like
1:32:27maybe once or twice.
1:32:30>> Could it be possible? I mean, just as a
1:32:33thought experiment that maybe
1:32:36maybe even today
1:32:39we could be wrong about some things.
1:32:44>> Of course,
1:32:44>> maybe. Right. Maybe we could be wrong.
1:32:48Now,
1:32:50why is it natural to assume that our
1:32:52social beliefs are correct?
1:32:55Well, look,
1:32:56take something as simple as this
1:32:59platform,
1:33:01which aside from the million dollars in
1:33:04camera equipment that's in this room
1:33:05right now, just this [ __ ] platform
1:33:08right here.
1:33:10Do you guys know how to build that
1:33:12platform from scratch?
1:33:14>> Like, what is this fuzz stuff here? Is
1:33:17that called like some kind of fiber? Can
1:33:19any Does anyone know what that is?
1:33:20>> Indoor outdoor carpet.
1:33:21>> It's a what?
1:33:22>> Indoor outdoor carpet. Indoor outdoor
1:33:24carpet. What's it made out of? Fur.
1:33:26>> Probably recycled materials.
1:33:27>> Recycled materials, right? If I know,
1:33:31right? How about this plastic thing? How
1:33:34do they make this? I don't know. I don't
1:33:37know how they make that. How about this
1:33:38laptop? You guys remember what laptops
1:33:40used to look like? They were huge. I My
1:33:44first computer was a 486 DX266.
1:33:47Anyone have those?
1:33:48>> Pretty cool. You can play Doom 2, like
1:33:50really fast. I had a Gravis ultrasound.
1:33:53Okay. It was awesome. I could play Tie
1:33:55Fighter at full speed. Okay. XCOM UFO
1:33:57Defense. Any nerds in the house?
1:33:59>> Warcraft.
1:34:01>> Yeah. Duke Nukem. I like that one. All
1:34:05right. Look, you don't know how this
1:34:08stuff is made. The buildings, societies
1:34:10around you, you're immersed in it. And
1:34:13it must have taken some pretty
1:34:14intelligent people to build this stuff,
1:34:16[laughter] right? You must be pretty
1:34:18smart. How about an airplane? I flew an
1:34:21airplane to get here.
1:34:23Think about this. I'm in a seat. I'm
1:34:25like sitting down and I look out the
1:34:27window and there's clouds. Okay? And the
1:34:31window's like real thin like don't don't
1:34:33Okay. And there's clouds, man. I'm
1:34:36flying. This is like there's like like
1:34:39Greek myths like you know, Icarus and
1:34:41stuff like that, right? About flying.
1:34:43You can fly and it only takes like a
1:34:46couple hundred dollar and you could go
1:34:48you could fly. All right. We can fly. We
1:34:51can drive in cars. People can go to
1:34:53outer space.
1:34:55We can fix diseases and stuff like that.
1:34:57You know, this is we live in an
1:35:00incredible incredible era, right? You
1:35:03can have a video phone where you talk to
1:35:05somebody and they're not even in the
1:35:08same room as you and you're looking at
1:35:09them and having a conversation, right?
1:35:10People will look at this in like 500
1:35:11years and go, "H, we have the iPhone
1:35:14version X.0illion zillion that does a
1:35:17telegram or something, right? A
1:35:19hologram, okay? But look,
1:35:22we live in an amazing society. We don't
1:35:24know how it works, do we? We have no
1:35:25clue how most of this stuff is working.
1:35:28Those of us that are more educated have
1:35:30maybe a decent idea of how stuff is
1:35:32working. And still, we have no clue how
1:35:33this thing is working.
1:35:36As a result, the natural tendency is to
1:35:38give authority to society. We give them
1:35:41authority. We let society dictate our
1:35:43beliefs to us. We think they're right
1:35:45about all this stuff. Who here's ever
1:35:48studied hypnosis? Anyone know hypnosis?
1:35:50Can someone say what pacing and leading
1:35:52is?
1:35:54>> Pacing just very quickly and very loud.
1:35:56What is it?
1:35:56>> Pacing and leading is first you get
1:35:59someone to follow you.
1:36:01>> Yeah.
1:36:01>> And then you begin to lead them and then
1:36:03they um then they follow you.
1:36:05>> Exactly. It's like if I say to you,
1:36:07you're in the chair. You can feel the
1:36:09chair under your ass. You can. You're
1:36:12thinking to yourself, "Did he just say
1:36:13the chair under my ass?"
1:36:15>> Now you're Now you're playing with your
1:36:16pen. Now you're sitting there and now
1:36:18I'm pacing you, right? And then I'm
1:36:20showing you and you're going, "He's
1:36:21right. He's right. He's right. He's
1:36:23right." And then you go, "Look, he's
1:36:26leading me in these other directions.
1:36:27Those must be correct as well." And then
1:36:29you give up your concept of reality to
1:36:31somebody else.
1:36:32>> All right. That is pacing and leading in
1:36:34hypnosis. I I don't even know how to do
1:36:36hypnosis, by the way, but I have friends
1:36:37who do, and I've seen a little bit of
1:36:38it. So the thing is
1:36:40um [sighs]
1:36:42it's very easy to give up your concepts
1:36:44of reality to society and to get in a
1:36:47habit of looking to other people for how
1:36:51to live because it seems to be the right
1:36:53way just because of the way that our
1:36:55society is structured.
1:37:00>> People want to be in a group.
1:37:02>> Oh yeah. So, social conditioning. Look,
1:37:06ever since the day that you were born,
1:37:08ever since that day, you've been
1:37:09influenced by social conditioning.
1:37:12Ever since the day that you popped out
1:37:14the womb, you've had social conditioning
1:37:16coming at you from all angles. Here is a
1:37:19really important concept. So, listen up.
1:37:22People are fast learners. Even the
1:37:25dumbest person you know learns a lot
1:37:28faster, you would hope, than any other
1:37:32animal. Is that true?
1:37:35>> I think it's true. And if it's some kind
1:37:37of nerd biology guy can prove me wrong,
1:37:38the point is it's pretty close to being
1:37:40true. So, look, [sighs]
1:37:44we learn fast. I mean, we learn fast.
1:37:49No matter how dumb you might think you
1:37:52are, because I know I could be a dumb
1:37:55guy plenty of times, we still learn
1:37:57extremely extremely fast. All right. So
1:38:00why why do we learn so fast?
1:38:04What allows us to do that? What are the
1:38:05mechanisms that allow us to learn so
1:38:07quickly? This is very important because
1:38:10this mechanism is influencing you all
1:38:13the time. And it is in one level your
1:38:16greatest gift and on another level your
1:38:19greatest curse. So you need to make it
1:38:21work for you and not against you.
1:38:27The reason why we learn so quickly is
1:38:29because we [clears throat] learn
1:38:30socially. We are social learners. We
1:38:33learn from the people around us all the
1:38:36time, constantly. We live in a socially
1:38:40created reality.
1:38:44What that means is that there's two
1:38:47different ways that you learn.
1:38:50One.
1:39:18It's going to be a recurring theme.
1:39:23Two ways in which you learn. First is
1:39:26firsthand experience. The second is
1:39:29learning socially.
1:39:32All right, so look,
1:39:34I want you guys to think about this.
1:39:38Okay,
1:39:41did you know that if you jump out a
1:39:44window from the 10th story,
1:39:48you'll hurt your ankles a bit, but you
1:39:49will live.
1:39:52[laughter]
1:39:52>> Did you know that?
1:39:53>> No. 10th story. I want you No, I want
1:39:55you to think about this, dudes. We're
1:39:57talking social conditioning here. Okay.
1:40:00>> All right. You guys are still stuck in
1:40:01the matrix.
1:40:04>> Have you ever jumped from say this high?
1:40:06>> Yeah.
1:40:07>> Maybe a little bit higher probably.
1:40:09Hurts your feet, huh?
1:40:10>> Yeah.
1:40:10>> Kind of painful, right? It hurts. But
1:40:11you you're still here.
1:40:13>> I'm still here.
1:40:13>> No cast, right?
1:40:14>> No cast. Okay. Good to go.
1:40:16>> Have you ever heard of terminal
1:40:17velocity?
1:40:19>> Yeah.
1:40:19>> Yeah. Right. You can only go so fast.
1:40:22Yeah. If you jump out of a 10-story
1:40:24building, you'll hit that same velocity
1:40:26that you hit. I mean, think about it. If
1:40:27it's only this high, why would it speed
1:40:29up? I mean, gravity is gravity, right?
1:40:31It it doesn't speed up, right? So, like
1:40:33when I woke up this morning, I'm on the,
1:40:35you know, upper floor here. All my
1:40:38friends are taking the elevator and [ __ ]
1:40:39and I'm like, you got to be kidding me.
1:40:41Okay, so I just walked up, got my
1:40:44clothes, okay, just hop out the window,
1:40:49fell down. Oh my my ankles they hurt but
1:40:52I saved a bit of time. Okay. Right. It's
1:40:55called terminal velocity.
1:40:56>> No. Tell me that this doesn't make
1:40:57sense.
1:40:59>> Think about No. No. Why?
1:41:01>> Why doesn't it make sense?
1:41:02>> You understand gravity.
1:41:04>> You who did you learn gravity from?
1:41:07>> Science teachers.
1:41:08>> Your science teacher?
1:41:09>> Okay. What's that?
1:41:11>> Yeah. Exactly. Well, you speed up as you
1:41:13as you as time goes on. You're going
1:41:16faster.
1:41:16>> How do you know? Well, I actually was a
1:41:18science teacher.
1:41:20>> Get out of here. No. Okay. All right.
1:41:23Okay. But think about where did you
1:41:24learn that from? Did you ever go up like
1:41:26really high and drop something or what
1:41:27did you do?
1:41:28>> No, I learned physics class.
1:41:29>> You learned in physics class?
1:41:30>> Got a degree in physics?
1:41:30>> Well, this is physics class. All right.
1:41:33>> This is the Tyler physics class. Okay.
1:41:36And what I'm teaching you guys is you're
1:41:38plugged in the matrix, man. Okay.
1:41:40>> Okay.
1:41:41>> You got to bend the spoon, man. There is
1:41:43no spoon. Okay. All right. Look. When
1:41:46you jump out of a window, okay, you jump
1:41:48out, you hit terminal velocity at a
1:41:50certain speed and then you land. Gravity
1:41:53is gravity. You really think gravity is
1:41:55so ridiculous that like it like changes
1:41:57speeds as you go and stuff? It's a
1:41:59constant
1:42:00>> and you fall, you can jump from
1:42:02anywhere, anywhere you want. Okay, look,
1:42:05let me ask you another question. Okay,
1:42:08have you ever eaten your own poo?
1:42:11[laughter]
1:42:13>> Have you?
1:42:13>> Probably when I was a baby. when you're
1:42:15a baby. Okay. My sister did that, so I'm
1:42:17down with it. All right. Okay. So, look,
1:42:20parents pulled her away before it could
1:42:21happen. But anyway, look. Okay.
1:42:25What is I mean, my favorite food,
1:42:29chocolate,
1:42:31right? Okay.
1:42:34Think of it this way. If you eat food,
1:42:36okay, you're eating the food and it's
1:42:39got all these nutrients in it, right?
1:42:41>> Your body cannot absorb all those
1:42:43nutrients. You're on the run. You're too
1:42:46busy to absorb all those nutrients.
1:42:47Sometimes you do. Sure. Sure. Sometimes,
1:42:50but most of the time if you're moving
1:42:51around, you're not absorbing all those
1:42:54nutrients, right? If you need just like
1:42:56a quick picker upper, okay, and you've
1:42:59got no food on you,
1:43:01you're going to waste all that
1:43:03unprocessed nutrients. You're telling me
1:43:05you're going to waste that. Okay? This
1:43:07is why the world is starving. I'll tell
1:43:08you. Okay? Right? This is why the world
1:43:12is starving. Because people are wasteful
1:43:14and they don't recycle. Okay? They think
1:43:17just cuz they recycle a couple bottles
1:43:19that they're recycling. All right? Look,
1:43:23who wants to prove me wrong on this one?
1:43:29Who here I mean, did anyone try it for
1:43:32themselves? Did anyone here say that
1:43:35looks chocolatey? [laughter]
1:43:37I always heard this that in India, you
1:43:39know, that if you were an American and
1:43:41you went to India, they'd drink your pee
1:43:42or ate your poo because you had all
1:43:43those vitamins in it and they starving.
1:43:46>> That that's what I'm trying to tell you
1:43:47guys. Okay, that's the problem with the
1:43:48West. Okay, that's the problem with the
1:43:51West right there. Okay, so look, who
1:43:54here is going to prove me wrong? Who
1:43:57here ever tried it? Unless someone here
1:44:00is gonna stand up and say they tried it,
1:44:03the lesson for today is jump out the
1:44:06window and eat your own you know what.
1:44:10[laughter] All right.
1:44:11>> Jump out the window and eat [ __ ]
1:44:12>> Think about it. Okay.
1:44:15No one here has tried it. Nobody. No
1:44:18one's going to stand up and say they
1:44:19tried it. All right. Who did you learn
1:44:23not to jump out the window from?
1:44:27>> Physics teachers, right? You right. You
1:44:30learned from your mom probably. Okay.
1:44:32And TV.
1:44:34>> Who did you learn from? Pain. Yeah.
1:44:36Because you jumped a bit. But dude,
1:44:37terminal velocity. It's no worse. Okay.
1:44:39>> Sucks.
1:44:40>> It sucks. All right. Okay. Look,
1:44:42actually, uh, we do have a fellow in
1:44:44here named Kieran who did jump out a
1:44:45window recently and had two broken feet
1:44:47for a little while. He was trying to be
1:44:48Jack Bower, which where did he learn
1:44:50from? Social conditioning. All right.
1:44:53Okay. So look, when we have uh social
1:44:57conditioning, we learn socially. It's a
1:44:59good thing, right? People like, I hate
1:45:01social conditioning. I hate social
1:45:04conditioning. You hate social
1:45:06conditioning. If you don't want to jump
1:45:08out the window,
1:45:10then you don't hate social conditioning.
1:45:14That's why it's so confusing, isn't it,
1:45:16though? Because most social conditioning
1:45:18is good. Most social conditioning is a
1:45:21good thing. human beings ability to
1:45:22learn socially. So I just know some
1:45:24people, oh thank god he wasn't saying
1:45:26that I need to eat my, you know, right?
1:45:29Thank god this was not what I expected.
1:45:32All right, so look, social conditioning
1:45:35is good. Mostly, it is mostly good. Most
1:45:38of the time, social conditioning is your
1:45:40friend. You can learn quickly. All
1:45:42right, we're social creatures. We are
1:45:44constantly pinging each other at all
1:45:46times to establish a socially
1:45:48constructed reality. We're always doing
1:45:50it all the time. is one of our greatest
1:45:52strengths as a species and we have
1:45:54certain mechanisms in place. All right,
1:45:56now look anything that I read to you
1:45:59guys here it sounds really official like
1:46:00the three mechanisms of social
1:46:02conditioning. This is just stuff I made
1:46:04up. All right, so if you can find some
1:46:06sharper source, do it. All right, this
1:46:08these are just my just my opinions. All
1:46:09right, so look
1:46:12the three that I kind of thought of
1:46:13while sitting in my house for years and
1:46:15years. one. Okay, look. We're always
1:46:18learning from everyone else around us.
1:46:20Processing other people's ideas by
1:46:22turning into number one, how certain
1:46:24they are of their ideas. Okay, how what
1:46:27they are.
1:46:28>> How certain.
1:46:29>> How what they are.
1:46:31>> Good. Number two, how in alignment they
1:46:34are with their own ideas on obvious and
1:46:35subtle levels. And we'll go into that
1:46:37later. And three, the number of other
1:46:40people that also buy into those ideas.
1:46:42So, as strange as it sounds, your mind
1:46:44is wired to be influenced by these
1:46:47factors at all times. You can't help it.
1:46:49It is a part of what makes you
1:46:51intelligent.
1:46:52Okay? But there's a downside.
1:46:56What is the downside?
1:46:58Whenever it passes through these
1:47:00filters, your unconscious mind tells
1:47:03you, "This must be true.
1:47:07It must be true. what I'm seeing here.
1:47:11It must be because he's certain. He's
1:47:14totally in alignment with his own ideas
1:47:15and other people are sitting around and
1:47:17nodding at him. It must be true. And so
1:47:20here is the next important concept.
1:47:27Ideas,
1:47:29listen this carefully.
1:47:31Ideas,
1:47:33no matter how stupid,
1:47:36can spread like wildfire.
1:47:42Think of this.
1:47:45Especially these days,
1:47:52ideas, no matter how stupid, can spread
1:47:55like wildfire.
1:47:57I want you to repeat this after me. So,
1:47:58I'm going to say it first. I want you to
1:47:59repeat it. Ideas, no matter how stupid,
1:48:03>> no matter how stupid,
1:48:04>> can spread like wildfire.
1:48:07>> Okay? There's actually a hidden reason
1:48:10why I get you to repeat that. Because
1:48:12this phenomenon in human nature has
1:48:15caused countless deaths,
1:48:18racism,
1:48:20and [ __ ] for untold
1:48:25eons and whatever. All right. Since
1:48:28we've been around that future, and it's
1:48:30a shame. All right. Uh people have
1:48:33burned women at the stake thinking
1:48:35they're witches.
1:48:37Um
1:48:38people have uh waged war on each other
1:48:41and there's other more complicated
1:48:43reasons for that too. But look,
1:48:45wildfire. Let me give another couple
1:48:47examples. Um
1:48:50who here's ever heard of ghost riding
1:48:51the whip.
1:48:55>> Ghost ride the whip. Ghost ride the
1:48:57whip. Ghost ride the whip.
1:49:02Ghost riding the whip.
1:49:05Okay, correct me if I'm wrong.
1:49:06>> Is that the jet wash thing?
1:49:08>> I don't know, but okay. Ghost riding the
1:49:10whip. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm I'm
1:49:13from SoCal. I think this was a NorCal
1:49:15thing is where you drive your car
1:49:19and then you put it in some kind of like
1:49:21lock position on the steering wheel and
1:49:22then you hop up on the front of your car
1:49:25and you're like, I'm ghost riding the
1:49:26whip. Okay. Have we got Yaya in here?
1:49:31>> Yeah. Did I get that right? Yeah, pretty
1:49:33much.
1:49:34>> Pretty much. You ever done it?
1:49:35>> Yeah. I'm still regretting not doing it
1:49:37in Italy, though.
1:49:38>> All right. [laughter] Okay. Look, Ghost
1:49:40Riding the Whip. Here's how it works.
1:49:43First, a charismatic rapper comes onto
1:49:46television. Then he makes a cool
1:49:48sounding song. Ghost Ride the Whip.
1:49:50Ghost Ride the Whip. And then guys go,
1:49:53Ghost Ride the Whip. Yeah. Right. And
1:49:56then they go, they jump on the car.
1:49:57Look, I'm Ghost Ride the Whip. And then
1:49:59the car goes boom. Right. They fly. Ah,
1:50:02they crash your car and countless people
1:50:04have like demolished their cars and
1:50:07broken their bones and stuff like that
1:50:08trying to ghost ride the whip. Now, when
1:50:10you think about how dumb ghost riding
1:50:12the whip is, okay? Right? Let's think
1:50:16about on one hand you have like
1:50:19mankind
1:50:22the great species
1:50:24Albert Einstein Winston Churchill
1:50:29creatures of greatness creativity
1:50:31innovation on the other hand you have
1:50:34ghost ride the whip ghost ride the whip
1:50:37okay the two sides all right why is that
1:50:41the same creatures that could be ca that
1:50:43could be capable of you know one side
1:50:45could one side of the coin could also
1:50:46have a different side of the coin. Well,
1:50:48see, look, if you think of those
1:50:50different criteria, certainty, being in
1:50:52alignment with it, and seeing how many
1:50:53other people's how many other people are
1:50:54doing it, ghost riding the whip makes
1:50:56perfect sense. And this is the same
1:50:58reason why you guys know the rapper
1:51:00Nelly, you guys ever heard of him? Do
1:51:02you know what his trademark is with his
1:51:03face?
1:51:05>> The band-aid, right? He goes and he goes
1:51:07and gets a band. He's he's uh got a
1:51:09little cut in his face at a concert or
1:51:11something like this, okay? Correct me if
1:51:12I'm wrong. at a concert, pulls out a
1:51:14band-aid, puts it on. He goes out, "Yo,
1:51:16I'm Nelly." Right? What happens next?
1:51:18The kids go,
1:51:24"Right. No, I'm like Nelly." And that's
1:51:26what we do. We learn socially. Okay.
1:51:29Let's go put a band-aid on our face.
1:51:31Great. Cool. Right. We learn socially.
1:51:34So, the thing is is that people are
1:51:35learning from those two different
1:51:37sources. First, experience and the
1:51:40second is socially.
1:51:45If you want to look at the history of
1:51:48society
1:51:50um you know through say the last couple
1:51:52world wars
1:51:54uh look at like McCarthyism
1:51:57um which was where people uh you know
1:51:59were constantly paranoid that other
1:52:00people were communists or something like
1:52:02that. Or you look at uh a great example
1:52:04would be the Nazis, okay, where they
1:52:07said uh you know, we're going to create
1:52:08these concentration camps and people go
1:52:11and like people that actually probably a
1:52:14lot of them are good people, but they're
1:52:15just following orders. I'm just
1:52:17following orders. Everyone else is doing
1:52:18it. I guess it makes sense. And people
1:52:20just follow orders. All right? Because
1:52:23people are constantly looking at what
1:52:25other people are doing to decide. Let me
1:52:27tell you something.
1:52:29I'll give you two examples. Number
1:52:33one, my last year at Queens University,
1:52:36uh, I lived on Aberdine Street and
1:52:39Aberdine Street is the main party
1:52:40street. It's great street. So, out in
1:52:43front of my house, a riot starts,
1:52:47and um about 5,000 people start smashing
1:52:51bottles and you know, it's Canada, so
1:52:54our riots get real crazy. We flipped
1:52:56over one car. All right, it was real
1:52:58intense. Okay,
1:53:01the students of all people flipping a
1:53:02car. Okay, so
1:53:05I remember I walk out into the riot.
1:53:07Okay, and it's interesting the nature of
1:53:09what what is a riot and how a riot
1:53:10breaks out. And I'm walking down the
1:53:12street and I've got to be honest, it was
1:53:14hilarious. So walking down the street
1:53:18and I see this little girl and she just
1:53:21picks up a bottle and like looks at it
1:53:22kind of confused and she's like
1:53:25like smashes it. And I looked at her. I
1:53:28said, "You, too?
1:53:30Why? Why are you Why are you smashing
1:53:32this bottle?" She She goes,
1:53:37"Uh, she doesn't know why she smashed
1:53:39it, right? This is like sort of like,
1:53:41you know, like those soccer games where
1:53:43people start fighting, right? Everyone
1:53:45just starts fighting, goes,
1:53:48right? That's what happens. People are
1:53:50looking at what other people are doing.
1:53:51I was in an earthquake. Here's another
1:53:53funny example. I was in an earthquake in
1:53:54Honolulu. It was a 6.7 earthquake on the
1:53:57big island. Pretty nice, big, pretty
1:54:00decent size on Aahu. First earthquake
1:54:02I've ever been in. And I wake up. It's
1:54:04about 7 in the morning. And my lamp
1:54:06above my house is going
1:54:08like that. And the house is vibrating.
1:54:10At first I thought I was dreaming.
1:54:13It's earthquake. Oh man. Right. Grab my
1:54:16passport, little can of something. I run
1:54:19down. I'm on the 12th floor and I start
1:54:22running down the stairs down the
1:54:23emergency stairs while the building's
1:54:24rocking. Right. And it's like pitch
1:54:25black because there's no electricity.
1:54:26I'm like it's like feeling like I'm this
1:54:28weird dream like the building's like
1:54:30going like shaking and I'm like running
1:54:31down these like flights of stairs. I get
1:54:33to the bottom
1:54:35now. I'm living oceanfront at this
1:54:37point. Okay. Directly in front of the
1:54:38ocean. And I get to the bottom and I'm
1:54:41waiting for the big stampede of people
1:54:43to come running out because what
1:54:46happened in 2004 to the people who lived
1:54:49on the ocean during the earthquake?
1:54:50>> Tsunami.
1:54:51>> Tsunami. How many died?
1:54:53>> Thousand. 30 300,000.
1:54:56>> That's a lot, huh? A lot of people.
1:54:59Wouldn't you think there's an
1:55:00earthquake, you would run?
1:55:01>> If you live in front of the ocean,
1:55:03>> you'd run. Let me How many people here,
1:55:05if you live directly oceanfront in a 6.7
1:55:07earthquake, would not head for higher
1:55:09ground?
1:55:11Not a single person's going to put their
1:55:12hand up. Hm, that's interesting. Well,
1:55:14guess what? Not a single person that I
1:55:16saw headed for higher ground. Okay, I
1:55:18get to the bottom. I look around. I'm
1:55:19waiting for the big stampede, okay?
1:55:20Because earthquake stop. And I'm like,
1:55:22"Where's the big stampede?" And like,
1:55:24nobody's moving. Okay, this is what you
1:55:26see. Let me show you what you see.
1:55:28People come out of their house. They go
1:55:30like this.
1:55:38[sighs]
1:55:40Go back to bed. Boom. That's it. That's
1:55:43all they do, right? Just go right back
1:55:46to bed. Even though you're ocean front,
1:55:48you just being 6.7 earthquake. Just go
1:55:50right back to bed.
1:55:52Okay. Why? What would have happened?
1:55:55Here's a funny one. What if the group of
1:55:57us went there, could just teleport
1:56:00through time, went there, and right at
1:56:02that time when everyone's looking at
1:56:03their house, we just all went like this
1:56:06[screaming]
1:56:07and we all just started running like
1:56:08that. Okay. What would happen if we did
1:56:11that?
1:56:12>> And then what would happen?
1:56:15>> Stam [ __ ] peed. Right.
1:56:18[screaming] Right. in the whole town
1:56:20would be converging on Diamond Head. It
1:56:22just boom, we going because we would see
1:56:26other people doing it. That's what
1:56:28happens, right? I remember when uh in
1:56:30London, I was in London right after the
1:56:32uh terrorist attacks out there whenever
1:56:35and you'd be on the on the tube and
1:56:36people will stop the uh they'll stop the
1:56:38the train, they're like, "Oh, there's
1:56:39like a you know, a paper bag here and we
1:56:41need to get everyone off." And people go
1:56:43[screaming] like that and then people
1:56:44start running up the you know, running
1:56:45up the stairs. People are typically
1:56:47looking to learn. socially. They're
1:56:49looking around to see who they could
1:56:52learn off of. By the way, do you
1:56:53remember how I said I just want to give
1:56:54a little preview here. Do you guys
1:56:56remember how I said that a lot of these
1:56:57pieces are going to click in the
1:56:58following days?
1:57:00>> How would a piece like this click in
1:57:02terms of being extremely successful with
1:57:04women? Any thoughts or previews on that?
1:57:06>> Yeah.
1:57:06>> Mhm.
1:57:07>> Yeah. Well, one thing is like winning
1:57:09over like the alpha female in the group,
1:57:11like teasing the alpha female and being
1:57:13on your side. So that way the other
1:57:16members of the group will like two
1:57:17target.
1:57:18>> It's the person who is going more off of
1:57:21this
1:57:23than this that gets the girls. All
1:57:26right. But we'll talk more about that
1:57:27later.
1:57:30>> Oh yeah. Yeah.
1:57:32>> Yeah. I also think that it just relates
1:57:34to like if you act like the man and
1:57:37people respond to you like the man, the
1:57:39whole [ __ ] room will think you will
1:57:40assume that you're the man.
1:57:42>> Yep.
1:57:42>> You know.
1:57:43>> Mhm. Absolutely.
1:57:46Do you guys remember how I started this
1:57:47by saying most world walks through life
1:57:48in a walking days?
1:57:50>> Well, that's where this sort of pieces
1:57:51together. All right. This is why even a
1:57:53guy that's not that good-looking by
1:57:55learning these principles can be scarily
1:57:58successful with women if he gets the
1:58:00stuff down.
1:58:02Anyway, look,
1:58:04everything from propaganda,
1:58:05superstition, prejudice, smear
1:58:07campaigns, idealization, myths, it all
1:58:11comes down to the same human [snorts]
1:58:13reasoning, which goes like this. It must
1:58:17be true. I can feel it. I can just feel
1:58:20it. It's true. It just makes sense.
1:58:23Really? Why does it make sense? I don't
1:58:26need to get a logical. I can just feel
1:58:28it. Oh, yeah. Okay. You don't need to
1:58:31get a logical. Great. So you can feel
1:58:33it. Great reasoning. It's a good way to
1:58:36think. You can feel it.
1:58:39Go humanity. Okay. Go humans. [applause]
1:58:42Great way of thinking.
1:58:45You can feel it.
1:58:48I can feel it. It's true. Right. Ask
1:58:50people who like to read to say
1:58:51horoscopes. Why do you believe in
1:58:52horoscopes? It's true. Why? Because it's
1:58:55a science. Really? Have you ever like
1:58:56looked up the science? It's just true. I
1:58:59could feel it. But that's human beings,
1:59:02very superstitious creatures.
1:59:05All right?
1:59:08Look, society,
1:59:11when you've had uh
1:59:14certain beliefs, okay? And society has
1:59:15many beliefs and you've been building on
1:59:19those beliefs for years and years and
1:59:21finding new evidence to reinforce those
1:59:24beliefs for years and years. Because you
1:59:25guys should understand that when you
1:59:26have a belief, the way that your mind is
1:59:28set up is to continually look for
1:59:30evidence to support that belief. When
1:59:32you tell somebody that their belief is
1:59:34mistaken, they're going to be a little
1:59:36peeved. All right? They're going to be
1:59:39they're not going to take it so good.
1:59:41All right? They're not going to take it
1:59:43good typically. So, look, we've been we
1:59:47have a lot of beliefs and we've been
1:59:49building on these beliefs for years and
1:59:50years and years. And
1:59:53in terms of your interaction with
1:59:54society, you've got to appreciate it.
1:59:58Okay? You really do. I mean,
2:00:00you've got to appreciate all the
2:00:02opportunity that you've been offered
2:00:04because as a result of society, you're
2:00:06able to live a life which has time for
2:00:08leisure. There's a lot of um modern
2:00:12medicine that, you know, while on one
2:00:13hand can cause problems, but on the
2:00:14other hand, can save you when you're in
2:00:16a really tight bind. Uh, you know,
2:00:18there's there's so many things that you
2:00:20take for granted. Like most of us here
2:00:22have not had like multiple siblings that
2:00:24died in miscarriages, you know, most of
2:00:26us, right? Some of us have. Most of us
2:00:28here have not had multiple siblings that
2:00:30died from like the chickenpox or
2:00:32something, you know, or I know I guess
2:00:34maybe that wasn't. Was that a fatal one?
2:00:35The chickenpox. What were some of the
2:00:36ones that used to get you back in the
2:00:37day?
2:00:37>> Small pox.
2:00:38>> Small pox. What else would get you
2:00:39that's like a joke now?
2:00:40>> What's that? [clears throat]
2:00:42>> Polio. Polio.
2:00:43>> Polio. Who here has a friend that died
2:00:45of polio? Right. I was just in a leper
2:00:48colony in Hawaii in uh Machai and it's
2:00:52and just to see the pictures of the
2:00:54people that are that are dying from
2:00:55leprosy and their faces get like huge
2:00:57and stuff like that and like they didn't
2:00:59even know what to do with them so they
2:01:00just put them in this colony and now
2:01:02leprosy is pretty much cured, right? Um
2:01:05we live in a society with leisure
2:01:07abilities. We live in a society that has
2:01:08more knowledge. We live in a society
2:01:10that can have self-development and
2:01:12self-development seminars which I happen
2:01:14to like, you know, anything like that.
2:01:15So look, societ we airplanes, how
2:01:19awesome, right? That we live in a
2:01:21society where like, do you guys ever see
2:01:22these people at the airport that are
2:01:24bitching and whining that the airplane
2:01:26is 3 hours late?
2:01:27>> Oh, yeah.
2:01:28>> How long did your grandparents take to
2:01:31get to America on their boats?
2:01:33>> Okay.
2:01:34>> Six weeks.
2:01:35>> Six weeks. And like a third of the crew
2:01:37is dead, right?
2:01:41This is just a nightmare. a nightmare,
2:01:44right? I have been here for two hours.
2:01:48Okay,
2:01:50it's a nightmare, right? You know,
2:01:52people I remember I was in London and
2:01:54and uh on the cover of the on the cover
2:01:56of the newspaper, they're like Virgin
2:01:58Airline nightmare.
2:02:00Passengers had to wait there for three
2:02:02hours or maybe like five hours while not
2:02:05getting to eat or drink. It's a
2:02:08nightmare. Okay, come on.
2:02:13Look, unless living in modern society,
2:02:15let's be real. Let's talk real, okay?
2:02:17Let's be real here. Unless you have a
2:02:19health crisis or someone in your family
2:02:21has a health crisis, you don't have a
2:02:23problem. You have no problems, okay?
2:02:26It's mind-nade. All right? Everything's
2:02:29taken care of. People have sweat. People
2:02:33have even died to give you what you
2:02:35have. All right? people to give you to
2:02:38just to get you the information systems
2:02:41that can confuse you with social
2:02:43conditioning. A lot of people have had
2:02:45to work to get those and most of them
2:02:46are good because most of social
2:02:48conditioning is good. So society has to
2:02:50be something that is appreciated.
2:02:52Simultaneously
2:02:56your interaction with society is also
2:02:57holding you back if you don't understand
2:02:58it. So you have to appreciate it. You
2:03:01have to take it for what it is. But at
2:03:04the same time, you have to learn to
2:03:05distinguish what's real from what's
2:03:07fake. You have to learn how to look at
2:03:09things with your own fresh set of eyes
2:03:11and make your own decisions and not look
2:03:14to other people to tell you how to think
2:03:15or to tell you how to act. And let me
2:03:18tell you, when you can become a person
2:03:19like that,
2:03:21your success with women is going to just
2:03:24pretty much be out of control. All
2:03:25right? But anyway, look, that's kind of
2:03:27a preview. Society
2:03:35for all its strengths and for all the
2:03:38things that we need to appreciate also
2:03:39has weaknesses. And the weaknesses that
2:03:41it has are also a really really big
2:03:44problem. Okay, we don't even need to get
2:03:46into environmental problems and what
2:03:47we're doing to the environment. But
2:03:49aside from that, what is it doing to
2:03:51you? Let's talk selfish. Let's talk what
2:03:53we really care about ourselves. What
2:03:55does it do to you?
2:03:58For one thing, it teaches you to look at
2:04:00the surface of things and not the depth.
2:04:02It gets you addicted to never- ending
2:04:04stimulation.
2:04:06Gets you addicted to looking at other
2:04:07people to think for you. It gives you
2:04:09certain beliefs that because so many
2:04:12other people believe them will feel so
2:04:15real that you could not distinguish them
2:04:17from what's false. Even if every piece
2:04:19of your own common sense is telling you
2:04:22that you shouldn't believe it, it will
2:04:24still be an overwhelming force.
2:04:29So look,
2:04:32[sighs]
2:04:33if the stuff that we talked about is
2:04:35wrong, if looks is not what gets girls,
2:04:40really looks don't get girls, what if
2:04:42money isn't what's getting girls?
2:04:45If it's not, you know, trying to become
2:04:48her best friend,
2:04:50what is it? What is getting girls? We
2:04:54could talk about that a long time,
2:04:55couldn't we? And we could really boil
2:04:56that down, but when I really boil it
2:04:59down and we get like we go real deep,
2:05:01right? Like we want to get real uh kind
2:05:03of nerdy, right? We want to get real
2:05:04nerd-like here and go really really deep
2:05:07beneath the surface, okay? Really to the
2:05:09root of it all. What in my personal
2:05:12opinion is the cause of attraction and
2:05:15this goes for both men and women is one
2:05:18thing.
2:05:36>> They were
2:05:38>> not valued. Okay.
2:05:41Okay. Um, it's value, guys. It is right.
2:05:45It's value. And what constitute value
2:05:48for a man is different than what
2:05:50constitutes value for a woman.
2:06:01So, what is value?
2:06:03Value.
2:06:05What is value? Value is anything that
2:06:08can help you to survive and to help your
2:06:10kids to survive. It's anything that A
2:06:13helps you survive, b helps you have more
2:06:15kids and c has characteristics that
2:06:17those kids would survive. Beyond that,
2:06:20it's anything that gives you good
2:06:21emotions because we human beings do not
2:06:24always know what is actually going to
2:06:25help us. A line of coke to a coke head
2:06:28seems like it has value, doesn't it?
2:06:30Because he thinks it has value. In
2:06:31reality, it really doesn't have any
2:06:33value at all. So look,
2:06:36value, anything that helps you to
2:06:38survive, anything that helps you to have
2:06:40kids and that those kids will survive,
2:06:43anything that gives you good emotions.
2:06:44That's when you boil it down. There's of
2:06:46course the countless myriad of uh
2:06:50layers. On top of that,
2:06:54I look at that. Think about it. Value.
2:06:57Value is like a magnet.
2:07:01Think about that. What is value?
2:07:06What is value, guys? What's it like?
2:07:11>> Notice how most people
2:07:13>> don't respond and they go,
2:07:14>> "Let's see what other people will say,
2:07:16even though he just said it's a magnet."
2:07:18Let's see what the other people will
2:07:20say. Um,
2:07:21>> value is power.
2:07:22>> Okay. Sure. Value is like a magnet. Why?
2:07:25When you're sitting there at your table
2:07:28and you're about to eat and then a nice
2:07:31plate of food walks by, your buddy's
2:07:32engaging you an interesting
2:07:33conversation. Where's your focus go?
2:07:36>> Food like that. Let's say that you're
2:07:38talking to your friend and attractive
2:07:40woman walks by. Where's the focus go?
2:07:44>> Okay.
2:07:46>> Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. All right. That's
2:07:48called value. We are designed to be
2:07:50drawn towards value. That's our makeup.
2:07:53We are drawn towards any kind of value.
2:07:58It's a magnet. This is what causes
2:08:00attraction. All right? When you know how
2:08:02to communicate value. So,
2:08:05we're drawn towards value. Value is
2:08:08anything that can help you survive.
2:08:09Anything to help your kid survive and
2:08:11anything that gives you good emotions.
2:08:13Because of course,
2:08:16what gave us good emotions
2:08:18back in the day as a caveman? What's
2:08:21more important? to think short term or
2:08:23long term?
2:08:25>> Short term. How many years of human
2:08:28beings being cavemen versus living in
2:08:30Mars society?
2:08:32>> A lot.
2:08:32>> 200,000 caveman 5,000 or something like
2:08:35that.
2:08:36>> 200,000 as cavemen. And how about before
2:08:39we became like the species that like the
2:08:41current incarnation of humans? How many
2:08:42more millions of years? Three million is
2:08:44it?
2:08:46>> Is it three?
2:08:47>> Three. Whatever.
2:08:48>> Okay. It's a lot. How about that? And
2:08:51we've been in modern society for 5,000
2:08:52years. What kind of thinking is good now
2:08:54these days? Is modern society built on
2:08:56short-term thinking or long-term
2:08:57thinking?
2:08:59>> Well, some short term. That's called
2:09:00advertising.
2:09:02>> Long-term thinking. All right. Did this
2:09:03building get built? Thinking short-term.
2:09:05We need a a place to stay. Hm. Cardboard
2:09:09box,
2:09:11giant massive hotel. Boom. Okay.
2:09:14Long-term thinking. All right. But of
2:09:16course, most of us are wired to think of
2:09:17value as short-term thinking. We eat
2:09:19oversaturated foods. We procrastinate.
2:09:22We have faulty belief systems that make
2:09:23us feel good. All sorts of great stuff
2:09:25like that. Take drugs, drink, alcohol,
2:09:26believe in convenient falsehoods.
2:09:28Anything that triggers good emotions.
2:09:29But for the most part, our system is
2:09:31wired to go towards value. Now, um
2:09:36what's the quest? What is the quest that
2:09:38most people are on daytoday? The quest
2:09:42that we all have?
2:09:44>> Pleasure.
2:09:44>> Pleasure.
2:09:46>> Food. You say
2:09:47>> feel good.
2:09:47>> Feel good. Exactly. Right? What makes us
2:09:49feel good? Well, for sure, one thing,
2:09:52cultivate more value, isn't it? We all
2:09:55want to cultivate more value. That's
2:09:57what advertising is based off of.
2:09:58Everyone wants to cultivate that. So,
2:10:01want to cultivate more value for
2:10:02ourselves. As guys, we want to meet
2:10:04girls. What do we do? Go get the good
2:10:06job. Go get the good clothes. You know,
2:10:09go get the nice house. Go to the gym.
2:10:12Whatever it is, build value for
2:10:14yourself. All right? That's the
2:10:16motivation that most guys have. Now,
2:10:19here's where it gets interesting. Value
2:10:23for a guy is not the same as what it is
2:10:25for a girl. Now, is it? Is it? Because
2:10:28for most guys, let's think short term.
2:10:30Let's not think long term. In the long
2:10:32term, is it best to go for like for a
2:10:34girlfriend or the mother of your
2:10:35children, is it best to just get the
2:10:36hottest girl that you can get?
2:10:38>> No. No. [laughter]
2:10:40>> Right. Like, let's go out to uh the
2:10:43latest Brent Bold House Club and find
2:10:45the most plastic girl that we can find
2:10:47to be the mother of our children. It's a
2:10:49[ __ ] genius idea, right? Okay. But
2:10:52the thing is, um, in the short term,
2:10:55what is value for guys in that
2:10:56short-term instant gratification
2:10:59in a woman?
2:11:01>> Sex.
2:11:02>> Sex. Sure. And what what's he looking
2:11:03for?
2:11:05>> Physical attractiveness. Looks What kind
2:11:07of fe What kind of features does she
2:11:08have?
2:11:10Skinny, which represents what? What does
2:11:12skinny represent?
2:11:14>> Hip to breast ratio.
2:11:15>> 7 hip to breast ratio. What does
2:11:17skinniness represent?
2:11:19>> Youth.
2:11:19>> Youth,
2:11:20>> right? That's why. What does uh And it
2:11:22could be health. Yeah. What does um
2:11:24large What does a girl with large
2:11:25breasts represent?
2:11:26>> Fertility.
2:11:27>> Fertility, right? And also some
2:11:29scientists believe that if she has large
2:11:30breasts and they're still perky, that's
2:11:31a stronger sign that she's young. Uh
2:11:33regardless, we like fertility. We like
2:11:35those characteristics. Looks. Now, if
2:11:37you think about it
2:11:40in a man, what is a woman looking for?
2:11:43Well, look, think about it this way.
2:11:45Here's okay, you want to know if this
2:11:46like weird epiphany that I had. And it
2:11:48was this it was an epiphany that maybe
2:11:51to you guys will not mean that much, but
2:11:53to me this was like just this one little
2:11:55idea changed a lot for me. Um,
2:11:59does a caveman
2:12:02know what he looks like?
2:12:07I don't think so.
2:12:10>> I mean, he could see what in the pupils
2:12:11maybe
2:12:12>> like look real close like
2:12:14>> see himself in water.
2:12:15>> See himself in water? How well can you
2:12:17see yourself in water?
2:12:19>> Little bit.
2:12:19>> I have a pimple.
2:12:21>> A pimple, right?
2:12:22>> I have a pimple. Okay. I think the
2:12:25caveman thinks that I have a pimple.
2:12:28Caveman thinks I need to eat. All right.
2:12:33So caveman wouldn't really know how he
2:12:35looks, would he? And um
2:12:39do you know how hard it would have been
2:12:40to survive back in the day?
2:12:44>> Do you know like the death rate of human
2:12:46beings before like in the caveman days?
2:12:48Look, I don't know any look, I'm not
2:12:50claiming to be a scientist here. This is
2:12:52just common sense. If you've watched
2:12:53National Geographic for half an hour,
2:12:55you know that you know social learning.
2:12:57You know the answers to this stuff. Back
2:12:58in the day, survival was really hard.
2:13:00And so for a woman,
2:13:04what qualities is she gonna look for in
2:13:05a man? Is she like, I just need the, you
2:13:08know, the nicely sculpted man, right? I
2:13:11mean, that might help a little bit, but
2:13:13for the most part, she's looking for
2:13:15decisiveness,
2:13:17resourcefulness,
2:13:21dominance,
2:13:22fearlessness.
2:13:24A guy who dictates reality and does not
2:13:26have reality dictated to him.
2:13:29All right. Sure. She wants that because
2:13:32those are the more important qualities.
2:13:34Those are qualities are going to be a
2:13:36lot more important than anything else.
2:13:39And this is why throughout history we
2:13:40have leaders that like uh how tall was
2:13:43Napoleon?
2:13:46>> How tall?
2:13:47>> 5'3, right? He was a little rambunctious
2:13:50little man. Who here's been to Paris?
2:13:53Yeah. You guys see all the Ns all over
2:13:55the ends all over the bridges? Amazing.
2:13:57Amazing city. And look,
2:14:00those qualities that we admire and that
2:14:02women admire in a man have nothing to do
2:14:06with looking in the mirror. All right?
2:14:08Has nothing to do with that. What it has
2:14:11to do with and even take money. Money is
2:14:14still social conditioning because that
2:14:17kind of form of currency, it's still
2:14:19social conditioning.
2:14:21What a woman is responding to on a raw
2:14:23like primal level. We want to get really
2:14:27beneath the surface. What is she
2:14:29responding to? She's responding to that
2:14:31resourcefulness, that decisiveness. In
2:14:34other words, let's break it down into
2:14:36layman's terms. All right? Layman's
2:14:38terms. If you walk up to a woman and
2:14:41your heart's going, okay, let alone
2:14:43trying to kill an animal, okay? And
2:14:45you're just walking up to a woman and
2:14:47your heart's going like that, right? And
2:14:49you're like,
2:14:53"Hi."
2:14:54>> Okay.
2:14:56How much value does that have?
2:14:59[laughter]
2:14:59That has none. That's called negative
2:15:02value. Okay.
2:15:04>> What's the word we use for guys that do
2:15:06that?
2:15:07>> Chad. All right. That's Chody behavior.
2:15:10>> Okay. Chody. And um valless. So, oh man.
2:15:17How about a guy that walks up confident,
2:15:19resourceful looking, he's got that
2:15:20beaming smile on his face, right? That's
2:15:23the guy that's going to be far more
2:15:25attractive. Okay, remember that. K man
2:15:27didn't have a mirror. You don't need one
2:15:28either. All right. I didn't, you know, I
2:15:32don't even really get myself too
2:15:35concerned about that stuff. What
2:15:37constitute value for a guy is very
2:15:40different than what constitutes value
2:15:42for a girl.
2:15:44Especially when we're going to talk
2:15:45about money. You want to know why? Take
2:15:48a girl here in Hollywood. Does she need
2:15:50to have sex with a guy in order to use
2:15:52him for all his money?
2:15:54>> You guys ever heard of a orbiter
2:15:57>> or a male groupy
2:15:59>> or a sponsor?
2:16:02All right.
2:16:03>> Okay. Male groupy. I mean, out of you
2:16:07guys here who have dated attractive
2:16:09women, how many of you who have dated an
2:16:11attractive woman or even a regular
2:16:13normal nice girl found that she had a
2:16:17multitude of men that took care of a lot
2:16:19of different things for her?
2:16:21Yeah. Right. She's got the driver man.
2:16:23Okay. The guy that takes her out for
2:16:25nice dinners, right? She takes We're
2:16:27friends. He likes to buy me dinner. He
2:16:29likes it. Right. Yeah. Right. Okay.
2:16:32Okay, I'm sure he buys dinner for all
2:16:34his friends and the guys in his life,
2:16:36too. Okay, but that's called the
2:16:38sponsor, the groupy, the orbiter. Most
2:16:40girls have orbiters. They don't need a
2:16:43guy with money. A lot of girls living in
2:16:45Night City have parents that take good
2:16:48care of them, don't they? These girls
2:16:50don't need a rich guy. They have jobs.
2:16:52Guess what? Women are allowed to get
2:16:54jobs now. Duh, right? Okay. something
2:16:57called the world wars happened and women
2:17:00became allowed to vote and were allowed
2:17:01to get jobs. Suddenly being a provider
2:17:04is not all that appealing anymore. A
2:17:06woman doesn't need it. She doesn't need
2:17:07a guy to take care of her. Sure, you've
2:17:09got a subset of women who do and they
2:17:11respond to that, but most don't. So most
2:17:13of the things that guys are doing and
2:17:14that you guys might have done your life,
2:17:16including me, to build value for
2:17:17yourselves will not work. Okay, I did
2:17:20all that. I took that route. When my
2:17:22girlfriend dumped me, I started going to
2:17:24the gym. I got I bought a house. I owned
2:17:26a house at 21 years old. I got a car.
2:17:30All right, I worked incredibly hard. Got
2:17:32into a great school. I got a $2,000
2:17:34watch. Okay, I had all that stuff. You
2:17:37know what was funny? When I started
2:17:39approaching five girls a day, a lot of
2:17:41the time I'd be getting a nice response
2:17:43until I started talking about that stuff
2:17:45and they would immediately get turned
2:17:46off. But would I believe it? No, I
2:17:48wouldn't believe it because I'd be like,
2:17:49"No, this is impossible. She couldn't be
2:17:51getting turned off. Uh, I know that this
2:17:53stuff works. I've worked so hard to get
2:17:55it. It's just something else. Must have
2:17:56been something else that I did wrong.
2:17:58Maybe I wasn't uh you know enough of a
2:18:00gentleman or something. That's what I
2:18:02was thinking.
2:18:03>> One thing I want to say, one of the
2:18:04reasons I'm here is because when I do
2:18:06your RSD weekend, I'd actually go out
2:18:08and apply your ideas that consistently
2:18:10worked. And I would say this is
2:18:11[ __ ] This is not going to go work.
2:18:13And then I go do something worked.
2:18:16>> Uhhuh.
2:18:16>> It's like, you know, because that was a
2:18:18thing. And I kept telling him that over
2:18:20and over happened to me.
2:18:21>> Very counterintuitive, huh? Who was your
2:18:23instructor?
2:18:23>> What? Who was your instructor on the
2:18:25weekend?
2:18:26>> Uh, I've never done the weekend.
2:18:28>> Oh, so what h So then Oh, you tried the
2:18:30ideas, you read about it.
2:18:31>> Uhhuh. Okay. Go there and I say
2:18:33[ __ ] And then I go,
2:18:34>> you go and you try it and it works.
2:18:35>> Yeah. I got kicked out a few grocery
2:18:37stores along the way.
2:18:38>> Oh, really? Okay. Okay. We'll edit that.
2:18:41All right. So, basically, [laughter]
2:18:42okay.
2:18:43>> Well, constitute value for a guy in this
2:18:44day and age is what's different for a
2:18:46girl. Guess what? The girls don't need
2:18:47your money, guys. Okay. They don't need
2:18:49that. And guess what? They're not really
2:18:51that concerned with what you look like
2:18:52in the way that you are. They're not as
2:18:54shallow as you. Okay? So, don't project
2:18:56your own reality. Some of them are, but
2:18:58many of them are not. So, look, what can
2:19:00what communicates to a woman not I want
2:19:03to date this guy for 6 months, you know,
2:19:05to make him chase me so he can be my
2:19:07provider, but I want this guy now, as in
2:19:09tonight, as in right now, are the
2:19:12qualities that show strength in you. All
2:19:14right? They show that level of
2:19:16authenticity, congruence, and real
2:19:19resourcefulness and cleverness. And you
2:19:21know, boom, just like that realness
2:19:23about you. That's what she's looking
2:19:25for. And this is communicated in
2:19:27something called
2:19:30subcommunication.
2:19:32Now, here's the difference,
2:19:34guys. How long does it take you to
2:19:35decide if you think a girl's attractive
2:19:37or not? How long?
2:19:40>> Half a second. Like that, right? Because
2:19:42you're looking quickly at how she looks.
2:19:44For a woman,
2:19:46how long does it take her to decide if
2:19:48you have all those qualities?
2:19:49>> Few hours. couple hours. Think about it.
2:19:51Can I train a guy? Could Could you give
2:19:54me the most self-hating, nerdy guy in
2:19:57the world? Even yourself. Say you're
2:19:59going to teach somebody. Could you take
2:20:01the most self-hating nerdy guy in the
2:20:02world and teach him how to approach a
2:20:04woman for the first 10 seconds and come
2:20:07across well for 10 seconds? Could you do
2:20:09that?
2:20:09>> Pretty easy, right? Just Okay. Give good
2:20:12eye contact, speak well, just walk up.
2:20:15Dude, it's just 10 seconds. You can do
2:20:16that, right? Okay. So for a man, he's
2:20:20pretty much willing to decide whether or
2:20:22not to have sex with a woman very
2:20:23quickly. A woman needs time.
2:20:26And so unlike a man who just looks
2:20:29quickly at visual cues, women look at
2:20:32what's called behavioral cues.
2:20:35So think a lot about that. Remember that
2:20:37distinction. It's just a simple little
2:20:39distinction. It's called visual
2:20:43versus behavioral.
2:20:46That's the core. Look, when I have
2:20:48confidence in myself that, you know, I
2:20:51don't need to go the superficial route.
2:20:53I don't need to go the social
2:20:54conditioning route. That simple little
2:20:56distinction right here, visual versus
2:20:58behavioral. Men are visual. Men tend to
2:21:00be visual. Women tend to be behavioral.
2:21:03Like they're looking at your behavior
2:21:04patterns. That's what makes me know that
2:21:07this stuff works. All right? You know,
2:21:09whenever you start to doubt yourself,
2:21:10remember that simple distinction. That's
2:21:12how you know, guys. That is how you know
2:21:15this stuff works. Women are looking at
2:21:16your behavior patterns. They're looking
2:21:18at what's called subcommunication. This
2:21:20is the communication that goes beneath
2:21:22the layers. All right? If you say,
2:21:24"Hello, how are you doing? What's your
2:21:26name? Where are you from?" That's the
2:21:28surface layer of communication. What
2:21:30women are looking at is called the
2:21:31subcommunication. It's the communication
2:21:33beneath all of that.
2:21:39So, look, guys are turned on instantly
2:21:42like a light switch. girls are turned on
2:21:44gradually like a volume knob. Now, when
2:21:47we're talking about
2:21:50subcommunication, there's two types.
2:21:53The first one
2:21:56is the cues in your behavior and the
2:21:59second are the cues in how people react
2:22:01to you. And both are strong forms of
2:22:05subcommunication.
2:22:06Think about a celebrity who does not
2:22:09have very strong behavior at all. He's
2:22:11weak, but nonetheless, because he's a
2:22:14celebrity, he has a lot of people
2:22:16reacting to him.
2:22:19As a result, women might feel attracted
2:22:20even though he's a Chad.
2:22:23Likewise,
2:22:24take a guy who is just is not a
2:22:27celebrity, a normal guy, and he meets a
2:22:28girl oneonone. Say you meet a girl
2:22:30oneonone. There's not anybody else
2:22:31reacting to you, but she can still look
2:22:33at cues in your behavior and make a
2:22:35decision on you. Likewise, you could be
2:22:37in a situation where you have both.
2:22:39Okay, all three work equally well. In
2:22:42the same way that a celebrity can get
2:22:43countless girls just based on how people
2:22:45are reacting to him, even if his own
2:22:46behavior is not that strong, if your
2:22:48behavior is strong, even if you don't
2:22:49have a lot of people reacting to you,
2:22:51you can be successful. If you have both,
2:22:53that's also fine. Now, look,
2:22:56women are better at reading subtle
2:22:58social cues than men are. I understand
2:23:01that. Most women are better at reading
2:23:03subtle social cues.
2:23:07Do you think it's impossible to be able
2:23:08to learn how to read subcommunication as
2:23:10well as a woman?
2:23:11>> No.
2:23:12>> No.
2:23:13>> It is. You can do it. You can learn it.
2:23:16You can learn to read subcommunication
2:23:19as well, if not better than a woman,
2:23:21with time. All right? You can read it as
2:23:24well, if not better. Now, look, here's
2:23:25some examples. Eye contact, vocal
2:23:28tonality, body language, your sense of
2:23:30individuality, humor, and playfulness.
2:23:32By the way, we're going to go through
2:23:32these in much more detail later. Comfort
2:23:34in your environment, indifference to
2:23:36what people think of you, your concepts
2:23:39and personal boundaries of what you will
2:23:40and will not accept. Your control over
2:23:43your own emotions and your own sense of
2:23:44reality, your confidence to stay what's
2:23:47on your mind and stand out. Your
2:23:50self-directedness, conviction, and grasp
2:23:53of your own standards. Your sense of
2:23:56entitlement and willingness to go for
2:23:57what you want. That's a big one, guys.
2:23:59Your sense of entitlement and
2:24:00willingness to go for what you want. You
2:24:02see a woman you want, you go for it.
2:24:04and the types of things that you say and
2:24:06the emotion behind the ways you say them
2:24:08all in relation to the other people
2:24:10there. This is the subcommunication.
2:24:12It's more important and says so much
2:24:14more than the words that you say.
2:24:17Think about it in evolutionary terms.
2:24:19Think about it real carefully.
2:24:22Say that you're the boss caveman.
2:24:26Something happens. You're no longer the
2:24:27boss caveman. How do the women know to
2:24:30drop you immediately? As the power
2:24:32shift, they just feel the status change.
2:24:34>> They can feel it.
2:24:36>> Yeah. The beh the caveman's behavior
2:24:38changes. Parts of his demeanor change.
2:24:41Likewise, what if you have a Chy caveman
2:24:44and then as a Chody caveman ages, he
2:24:47gets new stats from the tribe. How do
2:24:48the women know to immediately start
2:24:50hooking up with him?
2:24:51>> He starts behaving differently.
2:24:53>> Starts behaving differently. All right.
2:24:55Real simple. Real real basic simple
2:24:57stuff.
2:25:00Now, here's where things get vexing as a
2:25:01guy.
2:25:04When you learn this stuff, it's really
2:25:07tough because you're learning it and you
2:25:11learn the initial subcommunication of an
2:25:13attractive guy. And so, what happens is
2:25:16that a woman has multiple personalities.
2:25:18She has one personality that she gives
2:25:19to people who are attractive. Then, she
2:25:21has another personality that she gives
2:25:22to people who are unattractive. And so,
2:25:24when you walk up and initially you're
2:25:25communicating attractive qualities about
2:25:26yourself, she's going to react to you
2:25:28very well. and say, "You're so great.
2:25:29I'm so glad I met you." But then when
2:25:31you fall back in your old chy behaviors,
2:25:34suddenly she just blows you off
2:25:36immediately. And this is what happens.
2:25:39See, for a woman, her appearance is not
2:25:42going to change that quickly. You could
2:25:44you could dump goober all over her and
2:25:47she would still look relatively similar
2:25:48to what she looks like. So, as a man,
2:25:50you've decided quickly. For a woman,
2:25:52however, your behaviors can change
2:25:55second to second. They change in real
2:25:57time and they change quickly. This is
2:25:59why when you're speaking to a woman, you
2:26:01can be speaking to her and it's going
2:26:02amazing and then all of a sudden it just
2:26:04starts to go downhill. It just starts to
2:26:06go to just starts to go down the toilet
2:26:08because initially you were behaving
2:26:09strong. You were not attached to the
2:26:11outcome. You were having fun. You were
2:26:12in your own reality. But then the next
2:26:14minute you start, you know, you you go,
2:26:16"This girl's so cute. Oh man, it's going
2:26:18to be great if I hook up with this
2:26:19girl." Suddenly you're coming from a
2:26:20scarcity mindset, not an abundance
2:26:22mindset. She lose attraction. She walks,
2:26:24she goes, "Oh, I have to go back to my
2:26:26friends." You say hi to her later, she
2:26:27doesn't even wave back because now
2:26:29you're in the other zone. It is
2:26:30constantly shifting. If you want to
2:26:32imagine what poor women deal with,
2:26:34imagine if you had this incredibly
2:26:35attractive girl, you turn you you go
2:26:37like this and then you turn back and she
2:26:39had like blimped out and like now she's
2:26:41wearing a mumu and she has a giant
2:26:42mustache. That is what women deal with
2:26:45>> for guys.
2:26:46>> What's that?
2:26:48>> Can you change it back? Sure. Yeah, you
2:26:50can. But it's once you've blown it is
2:26:52better just not to have blown it. The
2:26:54point is is that sure you can, you know,
2:26:56but you can, you know, things can
2:26:57change, of course. Um, but anyway,
2:27:04when the woman sees these behaviors in
2:27:06you, she's going to feel attracted. And
2:27:08so, even if logically speaking, you're
2:27:10not the type of guy that she goes for,
2:27:12emotionally, she's going to be
2:27:13responding to you. Um, some of you guys
2:27:16might have wondered why it is that uh a
2:27:20lot of the guys who have jobs as
2:27:22teaching dating are still able to be
2:27:24successful with women, right? Cuz
2:27:26wouldn't that sound funny? Like you'd
2:27:27think that um having a job like mine
2:27:29that as soon as a woman finds out, oh,
2:27:31you teach guys how to meet women, she's
2:27:33immediately going to she's immediately
2:27:34going to be uh dissuaded, right? She's
2:27:37going to say, oh god, that no, no, none
2:27:40of that. Right? Well, that happens maybe
2:27:42two% of the time, but the other 98% of
2:27:45the time it makes no difference. Like
2:27:49you could tell a girl, you know, or
2:27:51rather I can tell a girl, yeah, you
2:27:52know, this is, you know, this is my job,
2:27:54real social dynamics, and she just goes,
2:27:55"Oh, okay." And it doesn't even
2:27:57register. It's completely outside her
2:27:59reality. It doesn't register. The words
2:28:01that you say very rarely register to a
2:28:03woman. You're thinking that they are,
2:28:05but they're not. Okay? This is why I
2:28:08tell guys, you can talk in total
2:28:09gibberish to a woman. The stuff that you
2:28:11can say can make no sense whatsoever at
2:28:13all and it can still be totally fine
2:28:16because what she's really looking at is
2:28:17the subcommunication. Especially if
2:28:19she's becoming attracted, her f the more
2:28:22attracted she's becoming, the more that
2:28:24the actual words that you're saying are
2:28:26really irrelevant. And this is why when
2:28:28guys are doing things like, "Oh, look at
2:28:29this watch." Or like, "Oh, I have this
2:28:31nice job." They don't realize that
2:28:32they're basically they're cutting off
2:28:34that nice flow between you and the girl.
2:28:36Like you've got that nice flow of
2:28:37communication between you and the girl
2:28:38and you're building that chemistry. As
2:28:40soon as you go logic on her, you try to
2:28:42logically convince her like, "I can do
2:28:44this for you or I have this stuff," all
2:28:47that nice subcommunication that was
2:28:49going on between you and the girl just
2:28:51got cut off. Typically, not always.
2:28:54Don't go getting paranoid on me.
2:28:56Anything that I say, you need to
2:28:57experiment with it to understand what it
2:28:58is that I'm saying. Okay? But the point
2:29:00is generally speaking
2:29:02um that nice flow of subcommunication
2:29:04and attraction building a chemistry
2:29:05building as soon as you go logical on
2:29:08her like let me do this for you or let
2:29:10me show you this that I have you've cut
2:29:12off the process you have snipped it all
2:29:15right now when we think about um you
2:29:18know what that means for you
2:29:21your value is not static you know how a
2:29:24girl's value is fairly static to you
2:29:26well at least on the surface well Um,
2:29:29your value is not static. They're women
2:29:31are always feeling it. Second by second,
2:29:34minute by minute, they're feeling it.
2:29:36Your behavior can change within seconds.
2:29:39Traction is a very fast and
2:29:41straightforward process. Get that in
2:29:44your heads, guys. Okay.
2:29:47Attraction is straightforward.
2:29:49>> Attraction.
2:29:51>> Good. Good. Attraction happens within
2:29:53seconds.
2:29:54>> Attraction happens within seconds.
2:29:56>> Good. Good. so fast. And this is why if
2:30:00you're a guy at home who's watching this
2:30:02and you've got that one special girl
2:30:03that you think you're going to get and
2:30:04you think this program is going to fix
2:30:06that, you're mistaken. Because
2:30:08attraction either happens or it doesn't.
2:30:10She likes you or she doesn't. With
2:30:13women, I personally come from an
2:30:14abundance mindset. I go talk to a girl.
2:30:16If she likes me, that's nice. If she
2:30:18doesn't like me, it's done. I I would
2:30:21never be thinking, how could I change
2:30:23her mind? I would never be thinking like
2:30:25that. I would always just be thinking
2:30:26it's either on or it's not. Obviously,
2:30:28as things progress when you're meeting a
2:30:31girl, they can go like that and that's
2:30:32all part of the game. That's fine. But
2:30:34generally speaking, I don't get crushes
2:30:36on girls that don't like me. Okay. Who
2:30:39here has ever had a crush on a girl that
2:30:40didn't like them?
2:30:41>> Okay. It's a [ __ ] fool thing to have.
2:30:45>> It is It makes no sense. It's more
2:30:48>> Yeah. It just Yeah. It just it's not
2:30:51only
2:30:52is it just completely counterproductive,
2:30:56but it's actually shutting you down
2:30:59because if you have a crush on a girl
2:31:00before you go see her and you're and you
2:31:02are attached to the outcome, how's that
2:31:04going to change your behavior?
2:31:09>> Come up passive. Come up reactive.
2:31:12>> Reactive. Attached to the outcome.
2:31:14Scarcity. Not the not the one who is the
2:31:18attractive one in the situation. Mhm.
2:31:20Speak up. Anyone that talks, speak up.
2:31:22>> Okay. Um I remember a weird experience
2:31:24when I was teaching high school. It was
2:31:27very weird at the time. I didn't
2:31:28couldn't figure out what was going on. I
2:31:30would have these these very attractive
2:31:31girls, you know, like 15, 16. They would
2:31:33be like throwing themselves at actually
2:31:35doing a lot of like ioding them. would
2:31:38show up wearing a a wedding ring and
2:31:40tell them I was married
2:31:41>> because it actually got and that I
2:31:43didn't really figure out until now what
2:31:44was going on because it was like when I
2:31:46was in high school these girls at same
2:31:48age they wouldn't pay any attention to
2:31:49me when I was a teacher up there and I
2:31:51was the alpha male and I was controlling
2:31:53the room. The women were all over me.
2:31:55They'd ask, "Do you have a girlfriend?
2:31:56Are you married?" They were like it was
2:31:58it was actually ridiculous.
2:32:00>> Yeah. Because think think of it this
2:32:02way.
2:32:02>> Or they just wanted
2:32:03>> if he wanna Yeah.
2:32:06Yeah. and want to so the thing is um no
2:32:08I mean he's absolutely right and the
2:32:10thing is like with uh say that you're
2:32:12the you know if we again when we're look
2:32:15when we talk about like evolution okay
2:32:16and what's interesting is that in um in
2:32:19learning how to be successful with women
2:32:20we do talk a lot about like evolution or
2:32:22cave men and stuff like that and I
2:32:23understand from an outsers's perspective
2:32:25it seems totally wacky and kind of weird
2:32:26like why would you be bringing this up
2:32:28and I understand that and it is
2:32:30counterintuitive but the reason that we
2:32:31talk about it is because we're trying to
2:32:32get to the root of what it is and that's
2:32:34why we talk about it. Yeah. So basically
2:32:36if you think about the uh you know the
2:32:39caveman who is the most attractive and
2:32:42he has women swarming him.
2:32:45>> So when he talks to a woman is he coming
2:32:47from a place of abundance or scarcity?
2:32:50>> Abundance.
2:32:50>> Abundance. Right. So look think try to
2:32:53imagine it this way. If you have had sex
2:32:55with like five girls today and you go to
2:32:58approach some other girl to talk to her
2:33:00are you going to feel nervous?
2:33:02>> Of course not. Right? So the thing is,
2:33:04how about if you have just like not been
2:33:06laid in a year, okay, and there's a girl
2:33:09that might like you, okay? You go, "God,
2:33:12I really like you." Okay, because
2:33:15there's that it creates neediness. And
2:33:17that's why neediness is one of that's
2:33:18one of the reasons why neediness is
2:33:20incredibly unattractive. It's very hard
2:33:22for a woman to sleep with a guy who's
2:33:23needy because basically what she's
2:33:25saying to herself is, "If I sleep with
2:33:27this guy, his kids will also be needy."
2:33:30And then that's going to be the last
2:33:32generation of kids. Okay? Because
2:33:34they're not going to they're not going
2:33:35to get laid themselves. These if I have
2:33:36a son with this guy, so I'm screwed. All
2:33:39right? So that is why a woman is not
2:33:40going to sleep with a guy that's coming
2:33:42from a scarcity position. Look,
2:33:43obviously it happens. All of us
2:33:44probably, you know, were successful with
2:33:47one or two women at some point, even
2:33:48coming from a scarcity reality. It's not
2:33:50totally the end of the world, but it's
2:33:52certainly not the type, it's not going
2:33:53to lead to that rockstar success that we
2:33:55uh talk about in the sales copy of this
2:33:57uh program, right? Okay. So,
2:34:02all right. Look, women aren't judging
2:34:04you on money, looks, none of that.
2:34:06They're judging you on value, the way
2:34:07you act, the way people react to you,
2:34:08and the deeper level of who you are. Any
2:34:11other qualities are not the real deal,
2:34:13and women are simply not wired to have a
2:34:15response to them. Now, let's go a little
2:34:18bit deeper. Let's go deeper on this
2:34:20topic.
2:34:25Kind of laid the foundation, right? like
2:34:27we've we've recovered the basics, you
2:34:30know, we've looked we've looked at the
2:34:31basics here. All right. So, now we're
2:34:33going to go deeper in to what all this
2:34:35stuff means, what it amounts to.
2:35:01objectification.
2:35:05On some level, you've always known that
2:35:07women were looking at you as an object
2:35:09of value. On some level, you've sensed
2:35:11it at some point. I don't care when you
2:35:14have sensed that women are looking at
2:35:15you as an object of value. You have
2:35:17sensed it. How do you know it? If
2:35:18nothing else, on some level, you have
2:35:21looked at them as an object of value on
2:35:23some level. So, you've known it for a
2:35:26long time. And the tendency is to try to
2:35:29objectify yourself, to try to turn
2:35:30yourself into something that has value.
2:35:33That's the tendency.
2:35:36So, we look around social conditioning.
2:35:40We look at advertising and the media,
2:35:42which we're surrounded by all the time.
2:35:44We look at our peers.
2:35:47And what does it tell us? Does it tell
2:35:49you if you want to be attractive to
2:35:51women, you should become more authentic?
2:35:53Does it say if you want to be attractive
2:35:54to women, you should become stronger as
2:35:57a human being? If you want to become
2:35:58attractive to women, should you go out
2:36:00and do the things that would make you
2:36:01really become a man?
2:36:04>> Hell no.
2:36:05>> Well, that would take a long time.
2:36:07[clears throat]
2:36:07>> Okay, that's a long time. How about
2:36:10this? What if you look like the guy who
2:36:13you saw on TV? He had a lot of girls. H.
2:36:16Isn't that simple? Isn't that a
2:36:18beautifully simple beautifully
2:36:22elegant? Isn't it elegant
2:36:25that you could go out and you could just
2:36:28work a simple straightforward job that
2:36:30you know it's not complex, right? You
2:36:32just work your job. Work the job. With
2:36:35the job you get the money, right? Who
2:36:37here's ever seen Scarface?
2:36:39Okay. What do you get first?
2:36:43>> The money. What do you get second?
2:36:45What do you get third?
2:36:46>> The girls, right? How could you not? It
2:36:49sounds great,
2:36:51>> right? And it's Scarface. Like that
2:36:52guy's like the coolest guy of all time
2:36:55and he's telling you this. So,
2:36:59it's simple. It's straightforward. You
2:37:00get the money and then everything works
2:37:03out for you. Become like the guy that
2:37:04you see on TV because you see it, right?
2:37:06You see that guy on TV, you can see the
2:37:08products he has. You see the way he
2:37:10looks and he's got the woman. He's like,
2:37:11"Okay, he's got the girl." Boom. And
2:37:14your unconscious mind, you don't know
2:37:15that you're thinking this. There's no
2:37:17way that you know that you're thinking
2:37:17it. But your unconscious mind says, "Oh,
2:37:20that's how you get girls. Okay, cool.
2:37:22Great. I can do that. I can handle that.
2:37:26That makes sense. I can piece that
2:37:27together into my reality."
2:37:31So, become like the guy that you see on
2:37:33TV. See,
2:37:36society has in many ways evolved to
2:37:39maintain social order.
2:37:43It is designed to give you a set of
2:37:45achievable goals that you can strive
2:37:47towards and meet. That's really what it
2:37:50is, right? Society gives you a set of
2:37:51goals, right? First you go to school,
2:37:53then you go to high school, then
2:37:54college, then you get this type of job,
2:37:56then you save up for your retirement
2:37:58fund, and then after all is said and
2:37:59done, when you're like in your 60s, you
2:38:01can go retire.
2:38:02Now, it' be called successful life. So,
2:38:05it sets that for you, right? Society
2:38:10gives you neverending mental
2:38:12stimulation. Endless stimulation,
2:38:14doesn't it?
2:38:16Society gives you what? What does it
2:38:19give you? It gives you
2:38:22a magic pill for everything.
2:38:25It gives you um
2:38:28the answer to all your problems because
2:38:32the
2:38:34supply
2:38:37will always meet the demand. In a good
2:38:39system, if you have a demand,
2:38:43some kind of supply will come to meet
2:38:44it, won't it? And the system works,
2:38:47right? The system will take care of you.
2:38:50You can be the spoke in the wheel and if
2:38:52you believe in the system everything
2:38:53will be fine. That is what the
2:38:56unconscious assumption is. Okay. There's
2:38:58no conspiracy about this. There's not
2:39:00like some guys like saying like smoking
2:39:02man sick at the table like you know oh
2:39:04yes we'll make them give them these
2:39:06little goals the little rats race that
2:39:08it is. It's not like that. It's just the
2:39:09way that it evolves. No one's
2:39:11responsible for it. Okay. And now we're
2:39:13at a point where not only is, you know,
2:39:18the magic pill expected,
2:39:21it's demanded.
2:39:23I demand it. Give me the magic pill. I
2:39:27demand it. That's what people want.
2:39:29Isn't it funny when a situation arises
2:39:32where there is no solution to your
2:39:33problems and people are just outraged,
2:39:35right? like with Virgin Airlines just
2:39:36outraged because they were part of
2:39:39because when you because when they don't
2:39:40get what they wanted, you're you're
2:39:42actually messing with their whole belief
2:39:43system because it's saying that the you
2:39:45know, you cannot just be brain atrophied
2:39:48and live in the system and have it take
2:39:49care of you.
2:39:53Society is in many ways a lot like a
2:39:55Hollywood movie.
2:39:57There is a good guy, there is a bad guy,
2:40:01and there's an ending that reinforces
2:40:03social norms.
2:40:05Isn't it? Think a lot about that, guys.
2:40:09>> Classic Hollywood movie. There's a good
2:40:11guy. There's the bad guy. It's real
2:40:13simple, right? It's not It's not
2:40:15confusing. It's not like actually most
2:40:18people think they're good and everyone
2:40:19has different opinions and people do
2:40:21stuff to each other they forget about
2:40:23and at the end of the day just a lot of
2:40:24[ __ ] happens. It's not like that.
2:40:26There's a good guy, great Hollywood
2:40:27movie. There's a good guy, there's a bad
2:40:28guy, and then there's an uplifting
2:40:30message, go America, at the end saying
2:40:33that the system works, right? The system
2:40:36is good. We for a bit, for a little
2:40:38while there, we were thinking that our
2:40:39existing beliefs could be wrong and
2:40:42those beliefs were threatened. But no,
2:40:43at the end, we discover that there is a
2:40:45good reason to have those beliefs.
2:40:46That's a that's your classic Hollywood
2:40:48movie, okay? That's the way that it
2:40:50tends to work. And there's a simplicity
2:40:52there, right? A simplicity like everyone
2:40:55thinks they're the good guys. Everyone
2:40:56says, you know, our country is good,
2:40:59this other country is bad, right?
2:41:01Everybody believes that. Everyone's on
2:41:03the side of God. You know, God is on our
2:41:06side. Doesn't matter who you are. All
2:41:08right? And so, the thing is, people like
2:41:11that simplicity. They don't want to
2:41:13think. They don't want to look at the
2:41:15multi-dimensions of the way that the
2:41:16world works. They don't want to have to
2:41:18dig in deep. They don't want to be
2:41:19required to have to be aware all the
2:41:22time. They want to just get their
2:41:23beliefs and then go to sleep and allow
2:41:26those beliefs to take care of
2:41:27everything. That is the magic pill
2:41:29society in which we live. And so what
2:41:31happens is we believe that there's a
2:41:32product that can solve everything. If
2:41:34you just go to work and you make your
2:41:35money, your problems with women will get
2:41:37solved. How many guys How many of you in
2:41:40here have had friends that maybe were
2:41:41studying to become lawyers or doctors
2:41:43and they said, "Well, you know, I can't
2:41:44meet women right now, but I'm just going
2:41:45to focus on studying because once I
2:41:46become a doctor or lawyer, I'm going to
2:41:47have it all taken care of." Who's had
2:41:49friends that said that? Okay, that's
2:41:50that belief in the system. Of course,
2:41:52what's going to happen when he when that
2:41:54doctor or lawyer does get an attractive
2:41:55girlfriend and then he's gone for the
2:41:56weekend and she goes out clubbing with
2:41:58her friends.
2:42:00>> She's going to meet some other bartender
2:42:02dude who's going to go take her behind
2:42:04the dumpster and hook up with her,
2:42:05right? His sweetheart. You know how many
2:42:08guy How many of you have had Look, how
2:42:10many guys in this room have either you
2:42:11yourselves or had friends that hooked up
2:42:12with a girl in a bathroom? All these
2:42:15guys, right? Gee, and most of those
2:42:17girls will marry if they're attractive.
2:42:19a lot or a lot of them will marry lawyer
2:42:21chose and doctor chose and all that
2:42:22stuff who believed in the system and
2:42:24they thought that their sweetheart was
2:42:25was the way that she was. Right? So the
2:42:27thing is that and then do you think that
2:42:29her behavior is going to stop if that
2:42:30guy's not attractive enough to hold her
2:42:32attention? No. The behavior will stay
2:42:33consistent people people's behavior
2:42:36generally is consistent. So look
2:42:41>> exactly. Yeah. If you if you've not
2:42:43figured out how to meet a woman's
2:42:44emotional needs,
2:42:46you know how are you going to have a
2:42:48relationship, right? how you're going to
2:42:49have a long-term relationship. But most
2:42:51people, of course, want to become the
2:42:52guy that they see on TV.
2:42:55Can this stuff give you the temporary
2:42:56fix? Can or look, can this stuff give
2:42:58you anything beyond a temporary fix of
2:43:00confidence? Of course not. Of course
2:43:02not. You guys remember Fight Club?
2:43:05>> What's he say? You are not
2:43:07>> You're not what?
2:43:09>> What's that?
2:43:10>> You're not a special snowflake. What
2:43:12else, guys? You are not You are what?
2:43:15>> You are not the contents of your wallet,
2:43:16sir. You're not what else?
2:43:18>> His furniture.
2:43:19>> You're not your furniture. You are not
2:43:21your [ __ ] khakis. Right. And that
2:43:25inspired a lot of me because to tell you
2:43:27the truth when I first um well first I
2:43:28watched the movie and when I was first
2:43:30exposed to that uh wow you know I was
2:43:33like you know sitting as I sat there
2:43:35right like in my house in my car and
2:43:36like all this all this stuff right that
2:43:38I work so hard to get. I'm like I'm not
2:43:40you know right and isn't that funny? See
2:43:43these things, all these superficial
2:43:45things through the system cannot inspire
2:43:46confidence in you. They will not inspire
2:43:48the type of behavior, characteristics,
2:43:50individuality that's necessary to be
2:43:52really rockstar level success with
2:43:54women. That it is not capable of doing
2:43:56that. It is not in its nature and it is
2:43:59not possible that that could ever
2:44:00happen.
2:44:03Ultimately, these things are hollow and
2:44:04unsatisfying. Living up to other
2:44:06people's standards can give you a
2:44:08temporary fix of confidence, but it will
2:44:10not give you a real sense of value or
2:44:11self-esteem.
2:44:17Where does real confidence come from?
2:44:20>> Inside.
2:44:21>> Inside, right? Your sense of identity,
2:44:23your sense of who you are, your own
2:44:24sense of values, almost sense of
2:44:26integrity.
2:44:27That's where that kind of stuff comes
2:44:28from. We're going to explore that a lot
2:44:29this weekend. Um,
2:44:35let's play the game of what if.
2:44:39What if?
2:44:50Let's think about it. What would happen
2:44:52if you guys did play the game of
2:44:54society? Let's say that you played it to
2:44:56the hills. You really played it good.
2:44:59You got the looks. You got the money.
2:45:02Okay. You had the respectable job.
2:45:05Everything.
2:45:07What if? Right? What if you did that?
2:45:10What if you went and got cosmetic
2:45:11surgery?
2:45:13What if you um took steroids?
2:45:19>> It might give you the confidence to act
2:45:22in a way that creates attraction, but if
2:45:24it didn't, it's irrelevant.
2:45:26>> Mhm.
2:45:27>> So that's it.
2:45:28>> Mhm.
2:45:29>> I think you might get the girl, but then
2:45:31you'll end up losing her because she
2:45:32can't keep her, you know?
2:45:33>> That's common.
2:45:34>> Yeah.
2:45:34>> Yeah.
2:45:35>> Yeah. with once a prop fades or
2:45:38something like that then then you could
2:45:40be like in the middle of of like your
2:45:42sergeant woman and then all of a sudden
2:45:44like the lines run out or you don't know
2:45:46what to do next and it's like what do I
2:45:48do here's attraction and
2:45:50>> Mhm.
2:45:52Here's the thing. A huge [ __ ] ending
2:45:54crisis once you discover that all
2:45:56business was for nothing, right?
2:45:58>> Like that that's got to be [ __ ]
2:46:01>> It took you like 30 years to get there,
2:46:02right? Like on top you're like, "Yeah,
2:46:03I'm king of the like oh shit."
2:46:08>> Like like oh this shit's spinning and
2:46:11all that.
2:46:11>> Yep. So
2:46:12>> yeah,
2:46:13>> your confidence is based on external
2:46:16>> Yeah. confidence based on external
2:46:18pillars. Yeah. And you know the thing is
2:46:20this here's why it can never work. Okay,
2:46:23here's why it will never ever ever work
2:46:27at least on a long term.
2:46:30By a superficial value system. All
2:46:32right, when we think of society and
2:46:34advertising, the media, we would call
2:46:36that a superficial value system. By a
2:46:38superficial set of values,
2:46:41an attractive girl is the pinnacle of
2:46:44achievement.
2:46:45She's as high as it gets.
2:46:48You could be a doctor who saved
2:46:50thousands of lives. You traveled to
2:46:52Africa. You saved thousands of lives.
2:46:54You're successful. All that great stuff.
2:46:56But at a nightclub,
2:46:58who's getting in the door first?
2:47:01>> Hot girl. Fake boot.
2:47:02>> The mini skirt.
2:47:03>> Yeah. The minikrt, right?
2:47:06You've got a girl whose ex-boyfriend
2:47:09bought her a pair of fake breasts,
2:47:12right? She doesn't eat that much cuz she
2:47:14does coke and now she's skinny. But she
2:47:17figured out how to do her hair nice and
2:47:18put in squeeze yourself into a skirt and
2:47:20some pumps. And that girl will have more
2:47:24value than you do. Straight up, dudes.
2:47:26She will. She will have more value than
2:47:27you if you believe in the superficial
2:47:31value system. Like, if that's your
2:47:32belief system that I let society dictate
2:47:35to me what's valuable and you believe
2:47:37that, when you walk up to her, you're
2:47:39going to feel nervous. You're going to
2:47:40feel like you're going up with the empty
2:47:42cup and you're wanting her to fill it
2:47:44because you are. No matter how high you
2:47:46get as a man, no matter how high, you
2:47:49cannot win this game. Except maybe the
2:47:53only exceptions would be someone like
2:47:54maybe a Hugh Hefner or something like
2:47:57that. You know, like the rare case could
2:47:59beat the game like by starting like the
2:48:01[ __ ] mansion where like hot girls
2:48:03have to come to like get discovered and
2:48:04stuff. Maybe you could beat the game,
2:48:06but this is a game that is wired. It's
2:48:08rigged against you. You can't win this
2:48:10one. It doesn't matter what you do. Play
2:48:13it as long as you want. Play it as hard
2:48:15as you want. It is rigged against you.
2:48:17You can't win this game. Okay. The
2:48:19social conditioning game that's got you
2:48:20running and running and running and
2:48:22running and running. Good little
2:48:23consumer, right? You can't win it.
2:48:25What's the best way to get somebody if
2:48:28they have 11 pairs of shoes? What's the
2:48:30best way to get them to buy their 12th
2:48:31pair of shoes?
2:48:33>> Convince more.
2:48:35>> What's that?
2:48:36>> Convince them that the other 11 aren't
2:48:37good.
2:48:38>> Yeah. Like if you've got 11 pairs of
2:48:40shoes and then you're at the store,
2:48:42right? And you're looking at that pair
2:48:45number 12 and you're looking at it. Are
2:48:48you buying it for its utility?
2:48:50>> No.
2:48:50>> Are you buying it for
2:48:53what could you be buying it for? Um
2:48:57>> comfort.
2:48:58>> Maybe comfort. But you've got 11 pairs
2:48:59of shoes. You didn't get a comfortable
2:49:00pair of shoes, right? See, and see
2:49:02that's the thing, right?
2:49:03>> So what are you buying it for? What is
2:49:06the what is the driving force behind
2:49:07your consumer behavior pattern?
2:49:11>> You want that little piece of
2:49:12self-esteem
2:49:17belief that you're going to have the
2:49:18edge.
2:49:20>> Sure.
2:49:22Here, look. It's like this.
2:49:28>> Okay.
2:49:30Pair number 11. C. Will you buy it? Can
2:49:33you just do me a favor? Buy it. Sure.
2:49:35>> Okay. Here's your self-esteem.
2:49:38>> Okay. It's being about Okay. So, now
2:49:40you're walking out tonight, right? You
2:49:41got a new pair of shoes. You feel good?
2:49:42>> Yep.
2:49:43>> Feels good. Would you guys say it feels
2:49:44good to have a new pair of shoes? Feels
2:49:45good, huh?
2:49:45>> Yeah.
2:49:46>> Right. How long does it feel good for?
2:49:47How when's the novelty run out?
2:49:49>> Two weeks.
2:49:49>> Couple weeks.
2:49:50>> Couple weeks.
2:49:51>> [ __ ] you.
2:49:52>> [ __ ] you. Okay.
2:49:56You want yourself a scene?
2:49:57>> Yeah.
2:49:58>> It's right here. Okay.
2:50:01Number 12. Let's go.
2:50:02>> Okay.
2:50:03>> Number 12. You want it?
2:50:05>> Okay.
2:50:05>> These ones are real expensive. They're
2:50:06nicer than your other ones. Mhm. Okay.
2:50:09All right. Here. There you go. Okay. How
2:50:12many? Two. Couple more weeks.
2:50:15[ __ ] you. [laughter]
2:50:16Okay.
2:50:19I got it back now. Right.
2:50:20>> See, now you got to Now you got to buy
2:50:22more. Okay.
2:50:23>> You got a nice couch at home?
2:50:25>> Mhm.
2:50:25>> You do?
2:50:26>> Yeah.
2:50:26>> Okay. You can have it for a bit.
2:50:28>> Okay. Do you have a car?
2:50:29>> Yeah.
2:50:30>> Is it Is it brand new? Used?
2:50:32>> Uh, had it for a while. [ __ ] you.
2:50:34>> Okay. All right. Okay. Do you see what
2:50:37I'm doing here? Yeah.
2:50:38>> Okay. I'd actually leave this with you
2:50:39now to be nice if I need it. Okay. Yeah.
2:50:41[laughter] All right. Okay. So, Okay.
2:50:43So, look, I'll give it to you at the end
2:50:45of this hour. But look, that's what
2:50:47that's what advertising does, you know,
2:50:49because you're like, look, on one level,
2:50:51it's nice to have new clothes, right?
2:50:53Like, it's nice to have like a nice
2:50:54fresh press outfit and, you know, look
2:50:56good and stuff like that. I'm not trying
2:50:57to take anything away from that, but has
2:51:00it ever occurred to you that maybe you
2:51:01should feel that way all the time?
2:51:05How how counterintuit how
2:51:07counterintuitive is that? That the way
2:51:09that you feel when you have a nice pair
2:51:11of shoes or a nice haircut or nice shirt
2:51:13is how you should feel all the time.
2:51:16>> Like you guys are hearing this right now
2:51:17and you're like, "But why?
2:51:19Why would I feel that way? I don't have
2:51:21the nice pair of shoes. Why would I feel
2:51:23that way?"
2:51:25Does anyone here know people that do
2:51:26feel that way about themselves all the
2:51:28time? At least one or two examples.
2:51:30>> Just a couple of you. Yeah, that's
2:51:31great. I'm glad at least some of you do.
2:51:33I do. You know, um, one example, you
2:51:37guys see Tim in transformations.
2:51:39He'd be an example of that. You know, he
2:51:41just shaved his head recently. He
2:51:42doesn't really care. He had the He said
2:51:44he's sick of using magic mist. He's
2:51:46like, "I'm sick of all this choed magic
2:51:48mist, so I shaved it." All right. And
2:51:51that's the thing is like some people
2:51:53just feel that way about themselves all
2:51:54the time and you guys can too, right?
2:51:56There's nothing stopping you. But see,
2:51:58that's that fabric of consumer culture
2:52:01that we live in. And we really believe
2:52:04that like, you know, a lot of this high
2:52:05society stuff is like a big deal. Have
2:52:07who here's ever been to maybe a party
2:52:10where like maybe if you're out in New
2:52:12York, right, in some exclusive party in
2:52:13New York where maybe some of the people
2:52:14there come from quote unquote old money
2:52:16or stuff like that. It's like all
2:52:18classy. Anyone ever been to something
2:52:19like that? Right. And have you ever felt
2:52:21yourselves kind of like in a trap where
2:52:22like maybe you feel like they have
2:52:23something over you? Has anyone felt like
2:52:25that? Yeah. Think about what that really
2:52:27is. If your parents gave you your money,
2:52:31right? So what you're from, your parents
2:52:34gave you some money. Okay. I mean, it's
2:52:36nothing to be ashamed of. If my parents
2:52:38gave me money, I would use that to do
2:52:41all sorts of great things, you know? I
2:52:42mean, really, I'd use that to really en
2:52:45um improve myself and become the person
2:52:46I'm capable of being. But the point is
2:52:48is that what is that? It's an anomaly,
2:52:51right? Like your parents gave you some
2:52:53money. It's an anomaly. And that's the
2:52:56thing is that when you carry yourself
2:52:57around someone who's involved in say
2:52:59high society or something like that, the
2:53:01inclination is to is to look up to them
2:53:03even though they've done nothing, right?
2:53:05But that's that again that's that
2:53:06superficial set of values. Okay? Which
2:53:09is completely bizarre. All right? Even
2:53:12take looks something like looks
2:53:16if you say we want to talk genetics
2:53:17here.
2:53:19First of all, people are born to look
2:53:21different in order to have genetic
2:53:22variety because genetic variety is
2:53:24necessary for a healthy species. But
2:53:26second of all is the way is the way that
2:53:29like a good-looking man now in say a GQ
2:53:31magazine, does he look the same as a
2:53:33good-looking man in the 60s?
2:53:34>> No.
2:53:34>> How about the women?
2:53:36>> No.
2:53:36>> Right? You guys realize that in terms of
2:53:38what's considered to be good-looking or
2:53:40not, it's like some douchebag sitting in
2:53:42Italy choosing like, "We're going to
2:53:44have skinny models this year. It's fab.
2:53:47Muscles are out, skinny is in, right?"
2:53:48Or they're like, "No, we're going to
2:53:49pump it up." Okay. And then like and
2:53:51then that's what it gets called the
2:53:53standard of good-looking. Okay? It's not
2:53:56even a genetic thing. It's like weird
2:53:58random advertising people. And I've got
2:54:00nothing against them, you know? They're
2:54:02not they're not like we're going to
2:54:03destroy the self-esteem of society.
2:54:05They're not thinking like that. They're
2:54:06just trying to be creative. But the
2:54:07point is is that this stuff is dictating
2:54:10the way that people feel about
2:54:11themselves. It's crazy. It's insanity.
2:54:13It's so utterly stupid. Like I can't
2:54:16even how could like we need a new word
2:54:20that goes beyond stupid to describe
2:54:22social conditioning. The way that most
2:54:23guys are walking around feeling about
2:54:24themselves. Do we have a like what's a
2:54:26better more extreme word than stupid?
2:54:28Can we
2:54:29>> What is it?
2:54:29>> Ludicrous.
2:54:30>> Ludicrous. What else?
2:54:31>> [ __ ]
2:54:32>> [ __ ] Okay. Social conditioning is
2:54:35[ __ ] All right. Okay. So, that's,
2:54:38you know, it's got to be up in the head.
2:54:40So, look, your possessions can be a
2:54:43reflection of what you've done in life
2:54:45in the sense that if you've worked hard,
2:54:47something you love, and you have the
2:54:48possessions that show it, they can be a
2:54:50reflection of that, and they can be for
2:54:51your own enjoyment. And I'd recommend
2:54:53that you guys go out and you get yours
2:54:54because life is short, and that's fine.
2:54:56But that's for you. All right? That is
2:54:58absolutely for you. I have an equal
2:55:01level of respect. Like, I live in
2:55:02Honolulu. There's some people who
2:55:03literally just live on the beach. They
2:55:05have a cheap cheap place that they live,
2:55:07a little side job, and they surf all
2:55:09day. And they love that. They love to
2:55:11surf. And I respect that equally as
2:55:13someone who builds their own company in
2:55:15some area that they love. The point is
2:55:17you're doing what you love. Whatever
2:55:18that is. If you love to make money
2:55:20because you love the work that you're
2:55:21doing, then go out and do it. All right?
2:55:24If you want to just chill and serve, go
2:55:25out and do it. I don't care what you're
2:55:27doing as long as it's what you want to
2:55:28do and it's not what you're doing to
2:55:30impress somebody else or to live up to
2:55:32somebody else's standards that you
2:55:33didn't even create. That's all that I
2:55:35would ask of you and I would hope that
2:55:36you would ask that of yourselves.
2:55:38Anyway,
2:55:41look, we have these drives, okay? So, we
2:55:43have drives. We want to be liked. We
2:55:45want to have friends. We want to have
2:55:46girls. All that stuff. These are natural
2:55:48drives. Natural healthy drives. We have
2:55:50them and they're important. And thank
2:55:52God we have them, okay? They're really,
2:55:53really important. And while we have
2:55:55these drives, you know, to enhance
2:55:57ourselves and that they're healthy,
2:56:00there is that other level that you got
2:56:02to think about, which is that
2:56:05the advertisers are aware of these
2:56:07drives. All right? And they can push
2:56:10these buttons repeatedly. Politicians
2:56:13are aware of these drives. Propaganda
2:56:15campaigns are aware of these drives. And
2:56:17when you have these drives and everyone
2:56:19who's knows [ __ ] knows that you have
2:56:22these drives, it's like a set of exposed
2:56:24buttons that they can just push on like
2:56:26like you're in just a stimulus responder
2:56:29idiot over and over and over just like
2:56:32the here this no I'm taking it away. No,
2:56:35this no I'm taking it away. And that and
2:56:36that game is getting played and played
2:56:38and played and played and it keeps
2:56:39society going. Look, you guys might y I
2:56:42don't like this capitalism stuff.
2:56:43Really? you want to go live in uh
2:56:45Venezuela under Hugo Chavez, you know
2:56:48what I'm saying, right? Um so, you know,
2:56:51like it's, you know, it's not that it's
2:56:54a bad thing. I mean, we want a healthy
2:56:56economy, you know, right? I like a
2:56:59healthy economy as much as everybody
2:57:00else, but at the same time, what it did
2:57:02to me and and one thing that's
2:57:05interesting, I've done this rehearsal
2:57:06now for the blueprint decoded. Uh this
2:57:09is my fifth blueprint decoded uh big
2:57:12seminar that I ran. And I've also taught
2:57:13in boot camp every weekend. And I've
2:57:15noticed that whenever I do this first
2:57:16part, like whenever I come to this first
2:57:18section where I talk about social
2:57:20conditioning, I have this little like
2:57:22almost like this tension in my body and
2:57:25a little bit of an an indignant vibe
2:57:27about me kind of like like that. And
2:57:30it's it's almost like a different vibe I
2:57:32have during this section, the rest of
2:57:33the seminar. And the reason why I was
2:57:34trying to figure it out is because of
2:57:36what it did to me. And I don't want to
2:57:38claim that I'm that I'm a victim or
2:57:39anything like that because I'm not
2:57:40claiming that. But did I walk around
2:57:44completely paranoid the first 20 years
2:57:45of my life about what other people think
2:57:47of me? Yeah, I did. That's two decades,
2:57:49dudes. That's two decades that I walked
2:57:51around. Did I walk around doing stupid
2:57:53things like going up to that girl with
2:57:55chocolates and like, you know, and then
2:57:57having a crush on her and like
2:57:58occupying, monopolizing all my mental
2:58:00energy for weeks at a time? Yes. Did I
2:58:02have a mental breakdown when my
2:58:04girlfriend dumped me in college? A
2:58:06complete mental breakdown, stripping me
2:58:07six months of my life? Yes.
2:58:09uh you know, did I walk around just like
2:58:11parano like just basically I can
2:58:13remember my sister giving me she worked
2:58:16at a sports store and gave me a pair of
2:58:17$200 sunglasses and I was too scared to
2:58:20wear them to school because I thought
2:58:22that the kids would say you're not cool
2:58:23enough to wear those types of sunglasses
2:58:25even though it was a gift. Right? Did
2:58:27that happen? Yes. So the point is yeah,
2:58:29you know, I do have a little bit of I'm
2:58:31kind of pissed off, [laughter] right?
2:58:33I'm kind of pissed. And I'm not only
2:58:36kind of pissed about it, but I'm kind of
2:58:38pissed for what it what I see it doing
2:58:39to other people because I don't feel
2:58:42that human beings are meant to live this
2:58:44life. I don't feel that we're meant to
2:58:46to live like this, you know? Um I mean,
2:58:48I guess what we're meant to do, that's a
2:58:50pretty hard it's pretty hard to say what
2:58:51we're meant to do or what what not meant
2:58:53to do. We're enter some slippery
2:58:54territory there, but I don't feel that
2:58:56that's an ideal. And I want to see
2:58:58change. I want to see I want to see
2:58:59people living, you know, authentically.
2:59:02And um this is this is why one of the
2:59:05reasons why I cover this so deeply. But
2:59:07beyond that, look, really think about
2:59:09the power that this gives you out in a
2:59:11nightclub meeting women, right? In a
2:59:13restaurant, wherever it is, and you've
2:59:15got an entire room. Cuz look, I'm going
2:59:17to tell you straight, every quote
2:59:19unquote guy that's really successful
2:59:21with women understands the concept that
2:59:24we've these concepts here that we've
2:59:25talked about on a very deep level. and
2:59:28he looks through a room and he knows
2:59:30that most people there what he sees kind
2:59:34of like Neo in the Matrix, right? He
2:59:35sees people in fear, right? Like what do
2:59:38other people think of me? He sees the
2:59:40people up on like the guys up on the
2:59:42death row all h right and doing you know
2:59:45what guys do you ever see guys that are
2:59:47like dancing at the club but not because
2:59:48they want to because they're trying to
2:59:49fit in. So they're kind of like
2:59:51[laughter]
2:59:51like that, right? Right? And then maybe
2:59:52like some lyric comes on like, "And I
2:59:54wish I never met her at all."
2:59:58Right? Boom. Boom. Like that. Okay. And
3:00:00that's like you see this in the
3:00:02nightclub all the time. Jeffy was
3:00:04telling me about a guy that the Rihanna
3:00:05song Umbrella came on. He pulled out his
3:00:07umbrella. He was like like that. So
3:00:10[laughter]
3:00:11ridiculous. So like so
3:00:15you know and you and you see this, okay,
3:00:18and you're in the club and and you know
3:00:19this, right? or in the restaurant or in
3:00:21the mall or wherever you are and you see
3:00:23these this social conditioning
3:00:25brainwashing on the one end of the
3:00:26continuum you have like the hardcore
3:00:28stuff like the guy's like let me buy you
3:00:29a drink my dear and then like you know
3:00:31on the other side of the continuum you
3:00:33have like maybe not like the obvious cho
3:00:36behaviors but just like the the subtle
3:00:38stuff like just like that little bit of
3:00:40vibe of he's operating through other
3:00:42people's intentions right he's not
3:00:44really himself he's kind of a I don't
3:00:46want to say a zombie or something cuz
3:00:48that's that's really extreme dream, but
3:00:50he's um
3:00:51>> he's not him, you know? What's that?
3:00:54>> Robot.
3:00:54>> Yeah, like robot. Like he's just he's
3:00:56not him,
3:00:57>> you know?
3:00:58>> Yeah. The Borg mind, right? Like he's
3:01:00just not who he's he's not okay. My
3:01:02friend Nathan has an expression. He
3:01:04says, "Be who you're meant to be." And
3:01:05and he says that whenever he has a uh
3:01:08you know an issue and he's looking at
3:01:10his own behavior, he says, "Am I being
3:01:11who I'm meant to

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