The Best Way to Convey Safety to the Brain — Transcript

Full transcript

1. 0:00You'll notice the best healers in the
2. 0:02world, the best therapists, the best
3. 0:04coaches first focus on creating a sense
4. 0:08of safety before you begin overcoming
5. 0:11these symptoms. Whether it's the panic
6. 0:14attacks, the physical symptoms,
7. 0:16intrusive thoughts that you might be
8. 0:17having, the feeling of disconnect. The
9. 0:20first key is to create safety. If you
10. 0:22notice people just giving willy-nilly
11. 0:25advice like, "Oh, just try this
12. 0:26breathing technique. just try, you know,
13. 0:29exercising, grounding techniques. If you
14. 0:32don't have this level of safety, it
15. 0:34doesn't matter. This is why when I was
16. 0:37dealing with anxiety, it felt like no
17. 0:40matter what I did, I wasn't getting
18. 0:42better. In fact, I was getting worse
19. 0:44without even doing anything. I noticed
20. 0:47that it started off with a panic attack.
21. 0:49Then it started leading into more
22. 0:51intense physical symptoms. Then I kept
23. 0:53going to my doctors and they couldn't
24. 0:56figure it out. And what happened was I
25. 0:58ended up moving back home and pretty
26. 1:00soon I stopped working and I just kept
27. 1:03getting worse and I couldn't figure it
28. 1:05out. And during this period, I was
29. 1:08taking more supplements than I'd ever
30. 1:09taken my entire life. I wasn't working.
31. 1:12I had no stress. I even lived at home. I
32. 1:15didn't have to worry about even food.
33. 1:16There was nothing to worry about. And
34. 1:18yet, I was getting worse. And it was
35. 1:21because I wasn't able to convey safety
36. 1:24to my body, to my mind, to my nervous
37. 1:26system. So, if you're dealing with that,
38. 1:28if you want to know the best way to
39. 1:30convey safety, I'm going to show you
40. 1:32that exactly in this video, but you're
41. 1:35going to need to pay attention, okay?
42. 1:37You're going to need to spend a few
43. 1:38minutes and really understand what I'm
44. 1:41trying to share. Don't go for these
45. 1:43quick tips, these quick tricks. Whenever
46. 1:46you focus on those kinds of things, you
47. 1:48miss recovery. Recovery is about
48. 1:51understanding. Once you get a deep level
49. 1:53of understanding, you'll see exactly the
50. 1:56forces at play, what's keeping this
51. 1:59alive, and what to do to begin reversing
52. 2:02the cycle so that you no longer have to
53. 2:04cope or manage with this. You can
54. 2:06overcome this. And this is all part of
55. 2:08the past. So, let's go. Now, when I was
56. 2:10dealing with anxiety, I didn't
57. 2:12understand it. How was it that I was so
58. 2:14carefree that I would party on the
59. 2:18weekends? I, you know, would kind of
60. 2:20live life on the edge and not deal with
61. 2:22any symptoms. And then when I started
62. 2:25dealing with these symptoms, these
63. 2:27symptoms, these sensations, these
64. 2:28emotions that convinced me that there
65. 2:30was something medically wrong, where I
66. 2:32basically developed a health anxiety
67. 2:34disorder, where I developed a panic
68. 2:35disorder, where I was unable to leave my
69. 2:38house. And yet I was doing more
70. 2:41breathing exercises. I was doing more
71. 2:43supplements. I was doing acupuncture
72. 2:46appointments. I was changing my diet. I
73. 2:48even got on medication. I was taking
74. 2:50clonopin just to keep the edge off. And
75. 2:54sometimes I'd be taking clonopin and I
76. 2:55would still get a panic attack. And I
77. 2:57was on anti-depressants. I couldn't
78. 3:00sleep. I was taking tradone pills. And I
79. 3:03was doing all these things and I still
80. 3:05wasn't finding relief. Well, it was
81. 3:08because I basically fell into this
82. 3:10anxiety loop. And this is an anxiety
83. 3:13loop that many of you guys fall into as
84. 3:14well. Many times it starts off with a
85. 3:16panic attack. Not always, but many times
86. 3:19it starts off with a panic attack. You
87. 3:21don't know it's a panic attack. That
88. 3:23panic attack scares you so much that you
89. 3:26realize that it could surface up
90. 3:28anywhere. And so what happens is you
91. 3:30become fearful of it. Then what happens
92. 3:33naturally? because you're fearful of it,
93. 3:36you get another panic attack and now you
94. 3:39start getting intense symptoms. Now you
95. 3:42start getting intrusive thoughts. Now
96. 3:44you don't want to go places because what
97. 3:47happens if you get a panic attack? What
98. 3:48happens if you're getting these intense
99. 3:50symptoms? These symptoms can convince
100. 3:52you that you're having like a health
101. 3:55issue. So you'll go to your doctors,
102. 3:57you'll go to your therapists, you'll do
103. 3:59all these medical tests and it doesn't
104. 4:02work out. you can't find any relief. And
105. 4:04so what happens is that you've developed
106. 4:06the cycle which is the opposite of
107. 4:08conveying safety. You're basically
108. 4:10convinced that there's something wrong.
109. 4:12Even when the doctors tell you
110. 4:13everything is fine, you are just
111. 4:16convinced that something's wrong because
112. 4:17nobody has explained to you what's going
113. 4:20on. All the doctors say, "Hey, it's
114. 4:23nothing serious or it's not this issue
115. 4:25or it's not this medical problem." But
116. 4:27they don't tell you exactly what's
117. 4:29wrong. Right? So there's this gap. And
118. 4:32so what happens is that you develop this
119. 4:35fear around your symptoms. You feel like
120. 4:37something is dangerous. You feel like
121. 4:38something is wrong. And what this does
122. 4:41is that this causes this endless loop.
123. 4:45This is what we call the anxiety
124. 4:47cycle. So this is how the cycle starts.
125. 4:50This is how people fall in. This is how
126. 4:53the symptoms get more intense. This is
127. 4:54how people's lives get smaller. What
128. 4:57happens is that they just are in this
129. 4:59loop without realizing it, which is
130. 5:01they're fearful of their symptoms. So
131. 5:03they panic, they resist, and that
132. 5:06reinforces the cycle more. So how do you
133. 5:08convey safety to the brain? What's the
134. 5:10number one way? Fundamentally, I have
135. 5:13found that the best way to convey safety
136. 5:16is two things. Number one is
137. 5:18understanding why these symptoms are
138. 5:20happening. See, when you understand why
139. 5:23these symptoms are happening, then you
140. 5:26realize that these symptoms aren't
141. 5:28dangerous, that all these ideas, all
142. 5:32these assumptions that you have that
143. 5:34this will happen or what if that
144. 5:36happens, you start realizing that these
145. 5:38are just intrusive thoughts and these
146. 5:40symptoms are there because your nervous
147. 5:43system is sensitized. See, many people
148. 5:45are not even told that their nervous
149. 5:47system is sensitized. Many times you
150. 5:49could even go to a therapist and they
151. 5:52don't even know why you're experiencing
152. 5:54symptoms. We've had so many people that
153. 5:57went to their therapist trying to
154. 5:58explain what they were experiencing and
155. 5:59their therapist just had no idea. And so
156. 6:02when you don't know and you go to a
157. 6:04medical professional that also doesn't
158. 6:06know, well, it's naturally
159. 6:08anxietyprovoking. Wouldn't anybody be
160. 6:10scared? Wouldn't anybody be worried
161. 6:12about the fact that these symptoms could
162. 6:14be dangerous? Nobody's explaining to
163. 6:15them anything. It's so easy to think
164. 6:18that the doctors have missed something
165. 6:20or that this is something serious but
166. 6:21nobody is taking it seriously. You're
167. 6:24the only one that's taking it seriously.
168. 6:26And so
169. 6:27understanding first why you're
170. 6:30experiencing these symptoms will convey
171. 6:32a sense of safety in your body. Right?
172. 6:36Once you start understanding that these
173. 6:37panic attacks are just adrenaline
174. 6:39burning itself off and these heart
175. 6:42palpitations is just adrenaline that the
176. 6:44heart is burning off. understanding that
177. 6:46the brain fog is caused by you trying to
178. 6:49fight, trying to fix these symptoms.
179. 6:51You're basically just battering your
180. 6:52mind because you've been trying to
181. 6:54figure out what's going on for so long.
182. 6:56These intrusive thoughts is also another
183. 6:58form of adrenaline burning itself off.
184. 6:59And so once you start understanding
185. 7:02these things, well, you naturally
186. 7:04realize that these symptoms aren't
187. 7:07dangerous. What this does on its own is
188. 7:10that there's a sense of safety. Now
189. 7:12you're able to feel these symptoms
190. 7:15without resisting it. The whole purpose
191. 7:18of understanding the mechanics of
192. 7:20anxiety. What I preach so often is so
193. 7:22that you allow these symptoms to have
194. 7:26space to let these symptoms be there
195. 7:29without resisting. But when you think
196. 7:31these symptoms, these sensations, these
197. 7:33emotions are dangerous, well, you'll
198. 7:35naturally resist them, right? You'll
199. 7:37fight them, you'll fix them, you'll
200. 7:39focus on them, you'll get frustrated on
201. 7:40them. But if you can let these symptoms
202. 7:42be there, well, that's where you need to
203. 7:46feel it to heal it. There's that phrase,
204. 7:48right? You need to feel it to heal it.
205. 7:50But if you think these symptoms are
206. 7:52dangerous, well, you're not going to
207. 7:54feel it. So that's the first step, which
208. 7:56is letting the symptoms be there. So
209. 7:58that's the first step in conveying
210. 8:00safety, which is understanding why
211. 8:02you're experiencing these symptoms. By
212. 8:04the way, if you're enjoying this video
213. 8:06and if this makes sense, make sure to
214. 8:08subscribe. If you want to know more
215. 8:09about the mechanics of anxiety, I have a
216. 8:12free ebook down below. It's a recovery
217. 8:14guide showing you how to begin reversing
218. 8:16the cycle. Like I say, the first step is
219. 8:19understanding the mechanics. It breaks
220. 8:20it all down in that book. It's
221. 8:22absolutely free. Check it out down
222. 8:24below. Now, once you understand the
223. 8:26mechanics of anxiety and you allow the
224. 8:29symptoms to be there without resisting
225. 8:31it, does that make your symptoms go
226. 8:32away? Not automatically. There's a
227. 8:35second part to this which is how do you
228. 8:38convey more safety? How do you reverse
229. 8:40the cycle? This is half of the cycle.
230. 8:43Half of the cycle is letting the
231. 8:44symptoms be there. The second half is
232. 8:47that when these symptoms pop up, how you
233. 8:50respond determines whether you're safe
234. 8:52or not. See, your nervous system is
235. 8:55always watching you. And if it's seeing
236. 8:57you resist a symptom, if it's seeing you
237. 8:59fight a symptom, if it's seeing you
238. 9:01focus on a symptom, if it's seeing you
239. 9:03fear a symptom, well, it's going to
240. 9:05think that that symptom, that sensation,
241. 9:08that emotion is dangerous. And so what
242. 9:10it's going to do is that it's going to
243. 9:12recognize that it's dangerous and your
244. 9:14fight orflight response is going to kick
245. 9:15up, which causes more symptoms. So the
246. 9:19second half of this cycle is to respond
247. 9:22whenever your symptoms come up. Look,
248. 9:25most people think recovery happens when
249. 9:27the symptoms aren't there. I actually
250. 9:30found that recovery happens when the
251. 9:32symptoms are high. That's your
252. 9:34opportunity. Once I realized that when
253. 9:36my symptoms were high, that was the
254. 9:37opportunity to reverse the cycle. I
255. 9:40looked forward to the symptoms coming up
256. 9:42because when the symptoms come came up,
257. 9:44well, I was just able to respond. And
258. 9:46when I was able to respond, I was
259. 9:48basically teaching my nervous system
260. 9:50that there was no danger. So, not only
261. 9:53was I able to respond, but I gave the
262. 9:55symptom enough space in my body. And I
263. 9:58told my body, I told my mind that I'm
264. 10:00safe. And that allowed my body and my
265. 10:03mind to process that symptom. Basically,
266. 10:06I like to think about it as excess
267. 10:08adrenaline. When you're sensitized, your
268. 10:10body's developed a habit of producing
269. 10:13excess adrenaline. Giving myself safety,
270. 10:16showing myself that, hey, there's
271. 10:18nothing wrong. I understand why this is
272. 10:20happening. that allowed my body to burn
273. 10:22off the adrenaline and then responding
274. 10:25to these high sensations, these high
275. 10:27symptoms was teaching my nervous system
276. 10:31that hey, whatever is happening is not
277. 10:33dangerous. So, it was two things. It was
278. 10:36allowing my body to burn off this excess
279. 10:38adrenaline and then the second part was
280. 10:41retaching my nervous system. Right? So,
281. 10:43when people are saying, "Okay, but how
282. 10:44do I know these symptoms won't come
283. 10:46back? How is it that you're able to
284. 10:47overcome this? I feel like I'm always
285. 10:49coping or managing." Well, I was able to
286. 10:51teach my nervous system. And you teach
287. 10:53your nervous system through action,
288. 10:55right? You don't teach your brain
289. 10:56through words. Your brain doesn't learn
290. 10:58through words. It learns through action.
291. 11:01So, as I was responding, it saw it said,
292. 11:03"Hey, Sean's not reacting in fear. Maybe
293. 11:06these symptoms aren't dangerous." And
294. 11:08Sean's giving these symptoms space. It's
295. 11:10a he's in a place of safety. He
296. 11:13understands that these aren't dangerous.
297. 11:15These symptoms aren't dangerous. So,
298. 11:16we're able to burn off this excess
299. 11:18adrenaline. So what happened on its own
300. 11:20is that the symptoms ended up going
301. 11:21away. So this is the key here. And most
302. 11:24people get stuck because they're doing
303. 11:26the opposite. What they're doing is is
304. 11:28that they're resisting the symptom.
305. 11:29They're fearing the symptom often
306. 11:31because they don't know why it's
307. 11:33happening. They don't understand it. No
308. 11:35one's explained to them why it's
309. 11:37happening. And then the second part is
310. 11:39well they're resisting it. They're
311. 11:40fighting it. This is the key to
312. 11:42conveying safety. Once your body and
313. 11:45mind learn this, it embodies it. You
314. 11:47don't need to tell it all the time. It
315. 11:48knows, right? It happens over time. But
316. 11:52this is the key to reversing the cycle.
317. 11:54If this video helped you, make sure to
318. 11:56like and subscribe. Check out the
319. 11:58resources down below. You can even apply
320. 12:00for mentorship. Thanks for watching and
321. 12:02I'll see you in the next