The Best Moments from the Pilot Episode - The Office — Transcript

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1. 0:00ah this is our receptionist pam pam
2. 0:04beesley pam has been with us for forever
3. 0:09right Pam well if you think she's cute
4. 0:12now you should have seen her a couple of
5. 0:13years ago all right
6. 0:15what uh any messages um yeah just a fax
7. 0:20oh man this is from corporate how many
8. 0:24times if I told you that there's a
9. 0:26special filing cabinet for things from
10. 0:27corporate waste paper basket look at
11. 0:33that oh look at that faith people say I
12. 0:38am the best boss they go God we've never
13. 0:41worked in a place like this before
14. 0:42you're hilarious and you get the best
15. 0:45out of us I think that pretty much sums
16. 0:51it up I found it at Spencer Gifts are
17. 1:19you right back yeah something just came
18. 1:21up
19. 1:21two minutes thank you very much what are
20. 1:24you doing what what are you doing just
21. 1:27clearing my desk I can't concentrate
22. 1:28you're not on your kness it's
23. 1:30overlapping it's all spilling over the
24. 1:31edge one word two syllables demarcation
25. 1:43you can't do that
26. 1:45why not safety violation I could fall
27. 1:49and pierce an organ we'll see this is
28. 1:58what downsize anything this doesn't
29. 2:00bother me I'm sizing down sizing yeah I
30. 2:03have no problem with that
31. 2:04I've been recommending downsizing since
32. 2:06I first got here I even brought it up in
33. 2:09my interview I say bring it on people I
34. 2:19respect
35. 2:19Kiros of mine would be Bob Hope Abraham
36. 2:26Lincoln definitely Bono um probably God
37. 2:37would be the fourth one and I just think
38. 2:42all those people really helped the world
39. 2:45in so many ways that it's um it's really
40. 2:52beyond words
41. 2:55it's really incalculable now I know I
42. 2:59got for this guy Dwight Schrute in the
43. 3:02building this is Ryan the new template
44. 3:04so let's me introduce yourself people
45. 3:06like Dwight Schrute assistant regional
46. 3:08manager assistant to the regional
47. 3:10manager so great tell him about the the
48. 3:13kung fu and the car and everything uh
49. 3:16yeah I got a 78 to 80 Z I've bought it
50. 3:19for 1,200 fixed stuffs now with three
51. 3:20grand that is His Prophet
52. 3:21yeah new engine suspension and a respray
53. 3:24got some photos okay hold on hold on
54. 3:30judges in session what is the problem
55. 3:32here you put my stuff in jello again
56. 3:37that's real professional Thanks this is
57. 3:40third time and wasn't funny the first
58. 3:41times I - it's okay here but people
59. 3:44sometimes take advantage because it's so
60. 3:46relaxed I'm a
61. 3:48volunteer sheriff's deputy on the
62. 3:49weekends and you cannot screw around
63. 3:52there it's sort of one of the rules is
64. 3:56that it's my staple no no no do not take
65. 3:59it out if to eat it out of there because
66. 4:01there are starving people in the world
67. 4:02and which I hate and it is a waste of
68. 4:05that kind okay you know what you can be
69. 4:07a witness
70. 4:07can you reprimand him please how do you
71. 4:11know it was me it's always you are you
72. 4:13gonna discipline him or not ooh
73. 4:14discipline kinky all right here's the
74. 4:18deal you guys think about a practical
75. 4:20joke is that you have to know when to
76. 4:22start as well as when to stop yeah and
77. 4:24yeah and Jim now is the time to stop
78. 4:28putting Dwight's personal effects into
79. 4:30jello okay throw it I'm sorry
80. 4:35because I've always been your biggest
81. 4:38flan you should have put him in custardy
82. 4:47oh that's great I guess what I'm most
83. 4:55concerned with is damage to company
84. 4:57property
85. 4:58that's all pudding put the
86. 5:06I'm trying to think another dessert to
87. 5:09do if I left what would I do with all
88. 5:12this useless information in my head you
89. 5:16know tonnage price of manila folders
90. 5:20Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt which is
91. 5:23mixed berry Jim said mix berries
92. 5:30oh yeah he's onto me you know
93. 5:45[Music]