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THE ART OF PRESENCE: How to Enter Any Room with Confidence & Magnetic Energy | Confidence & Charisma — Transcript

by Aliia Roza · 4,190 words · 660 segments · language en · Watch on YouTube

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0:00How to enter the room with the right
0:04confident posture like a James Bond or
0:06like the Queen. And that would be enough
0:09to have a very positive mindset and very
0:12attractive to other people.
0:14Self-confidence and self-esteem
0:17techniques are very important to uplift
0:21your perspective about yourself. Welcome
0:24back guys and today we will talk about
0:26self-confidence and techniques to lift
0:30it up and make your presence in the room
0:34the most effective and attractive to
0:37new people.
0:39For example, you come to the room and
0:41the first thing the first question you
0:42do have how do I look like? How do I
0:46need to walk? What sentence should I
0:49start my conversation with someone new?
0:51How should I introduce myself? Right?
0:54That's the question we usually have when
0:56we enter a room with new people. And of
0:59course you know that just
1:03three, five, or seven seconds is enough
1:06for someone to look at you and have
1:09either desire to speak with you either
1:12not.
1:13Either it will be in interest either
1:15not. So how to make people to be
1:18interested in you? How to enter the room
1:21with the right confident posture like a
1:25James Bond or like the Queen? How to
1:28make all these people to be interested
1:31and intrigued by your presence? So let
1:33me give you some techniques which I
1:36actually learned in the spy school which
1:38definitely will help you because so many
1:41students of mine use it every day and it
1:44does help them a lot in self-esteem and
1:48self-confidence and self-love because
1:51all this is connected. This is important
1:54the way you feel about yourself, the way
1:57you treat yourself, how you respect
2:00yourself, and how you value yourself,
2:02that's exactly how the world will treat
2:05you. And it's all about the energy, and
2:07it's all about vibration, because it's
2:10not just about the way you look, because
2:12this is a secondary. The first thing is
2:14about your presence. So, let me tell
2:18you, and let me share with you a red
2:21flags,
2:23uh these negative things, this kind of
2:26like stuff which you shouldn't do when
2:29you walk into the room with new people
2:32for networking or business meetings, or
2:35just for a dating.
2:38Uh and this is important to know because
2:40a lot of people do that,
2:42uh and they didn't even notice they do
2:44this. So, it's important to just like
2:47see and um understand how to make
2:52the things to work in your favor.
2:56Of course, all of us, we have fears, and
2:59as you know, public speaking is uh
3:02number one fear, a number actually two
3:05fear after death fear. And being in
3:08public place, it always makes us
3:10nervous. And because we are nervous, it
3:13affects our body language and our
3:16posture. So, what to do
3:19and what you shouldn't do, let's discuss
3:22uh about these important things.
3:24So, first the most important thing,
3:26don't slouch when you are in the room
3:30and you're standing or you walking,
3:35don't slouch, please, because um
3:37when you do that, people uh usually
3:41feel you as unconfident person. People
3:45usually feel that, well,
3:48you probably have insecurity or shyness.
3:51And
3:53people tend to be attracted to more
3:56confident people and that's why the look
3:59of James Bond or the look of the queen
4:01of like you know that kind of like
4:03celebrity look it's so attractive
4:05because I don't know any celebrity who
4:07would slouch. Do you? So that's the
4:10whole thing. So don't slouch your
4:11posture has to be right. You have to
4:14stand strong on your two feet or maybe
4:17like in a kind of like nice feet you
4:19know like a bit when you see all this
4:21beauty pageant and
4:24models they stand on their two feet but
4:27one foot like one leg would be just
4:30slightly bent in the knee. That also the
4:33nice posture if you would like to use
4:36that. Also very important to keep your
4:39eye contact. So please don't hide your
4:41eyes like looking on the floor or
4:45looking somewhere in the left or right.
4:47You don't need to look at everyone's
4:49eyes but you definitely need to keep the
4:53eye contact especially with people when
4:56you speak with them.
4:57Because again people tend to think that
5:00if you don't look into the eyes it means
5:02that
5:03you're arrogant, you're not interesting
5:06or you're shy or whatever. So it's very
5:07important to look at eyes of people you
5:10speak with, okay?
5:13The next important thing is your um
5:17the way you also position your head.
5:20Again it shouldn't be too up like too
5:23sort of like snobbish but it shouldn't
5:25be too down because it's also looks that
5:29you are uncertain of your actions or
5:31you're very shy. Just to has to be in
5:34the right position just like looking
5:36straight in front of you. So you can
5:40turn it slightly left when you listen to
5:42someone or turn it turn it slightly
5:44right because when you listen to someone
5:46this position also can say that you're
5:49really into this conversation and you're
5:51really interested to talk to this
5:52person. So, this is okay. But again,
5:55don't kind of like turn it like down or
5:57up. So, it's not really
6:00it's not really nice to people when you
6:03speak to them.
6:05Then another thing when you are in a new
6:07place with the new people and you need
6:09to network and present yourself,
6:11of course, the best seduction weapon is
6:15your smile. But again, don't overdo it
6:18and you don't need to show all your
6:20teeth, but a nice friendly smile. So,
6:23the best way to do it, think about
6:26someone you love
6:27or think about your pets.
6:30Your kids, your friends, something you
6:33love. Think about ice cream in the end
6:36of the day. So, you have this nice
6:39friendly smile which attracts a lot of
6:41people. So, think about something
6:44positive and just keep that smile on
6:47your face. And basically
6:50stand or like walk with this sort of
6:52smile. You can also use like, you know,
6:55Jaconda by Leonardo da Vinci's smile,
6:57which is just slightly, you know, your
6:59lips just slightly up like this.
7:02And that would be enough to have a very
7:05positive mindset and very attractive to
7:08other people. So, obviously if your face
7:12would be just um
7:15you know, like a poker face the the face
7:18of the models at the catwalk show,
7:21obviously people
7:23will tend it to be either arrogant,
7:27either scary for them, either it's like
7:31too
7:33protective. For example, when men they
7:35want to introduce themselves to women,
7:38they obviously will not come to you if
7:41you would have this like face
7:43as a poker face, as a model face. They
7:46would come to the girl who is probably
7:48less beautiful than you are, but who is
7:51smiling to them. So, keep your smile and
7:55this is one of the important thing you
7:58to do.
8:00The next thing when you come to the new
8:02room and you need to present yourself in
8:06the best way,
8:07when you introduce yourself, state your
8:11name, but
8:12for remember and use in conversation the
8:17name of the person you speak with
8:20because name is the most important word,
8:23is the most important thing for
8:25everyone.
8:27And things like uh you know, sometimes
8:30people call each other just like
8:32darlings or like honey or like baby or
8:35whatever, it's not personalized and it's
8:38kind of like
8:40not really special. They're not really
8:42You don't feel really special. You want
8:44it to be like like you know,
8:47according to us. So, everyone in this
8:50world they like when people call their
8:52name. So, it's very important to
8:55remember everyone's name. I know it may
8:57be sometimes a lot, but if you do
8:59remember the name, it would give you a
9:01lot of credit.
9:04The next thing to do when uh you have a
9:07conversation with a person, if you would
9:10like this person to like you, try to
9:14mimic and copy his body language.
9:17Not
9:18particularly exactly what he does, but
9:21slightly subtly do the same body posture
9:25or maybe try your head or like fix your
9:29hair when you're talking to this person
9:31when he does the same thing.
9:33Um it will create this bond between you.
9:37Also, if you will implement the same
9:41words in the same conversation when you
9:43speak with this person, because it also
9:46creates sort of like trust bond between
9:48you two.
9:50Um the next one would be great when you
9:54ask this person more questions about
9:59him rather than you talking about
10:01yourself. Believe me,
10:04when you speak about yourself all the
10:06time and it's almost like a monologue,
10:08people would think that you're arrogant
10:11and uh you're boring person and you're
10:14very self-egocentric and self-egotistic.
10:17Um according to the science
10:20um and according to our psychology,
10:23people mostly like to think and speak
10:26about themselves. So, if you would like
10:29to be this best listener, ask questions,
10:32listen precisely,
10:34and focus all your attention on this
10:37person.
10:39And make it like it's the best
10:41conversation ever.
10:44Uh I remember one story I read
10:47um and it was about the minister in
10:51England when he met the queen.
10:54Um the British royal from the British
10:57royal family and when she had this two
11:00meetings with two future prime
11:02ministers,
11:03she said from one meeting,
11:05"Well, he uh is absolutely clever, the
11:10most clever person I spoke with." And
11:13about second minister, she said, "Well,
11:16when I had a conversation with him, I
11:18felt like I'm the most intelligent
11:20person in the world."
11:22So,
11:23whom did she choose or like with whom
11:25she was more like connected? Of course,
11:27with the minister who made her to feel
11:30the best about herself. And that's what
11:33the art of communication and seduction
11:34is. When you can make someone to be and
11:38feel the best version of themself, it
11:40will be priceless because they will come
11:43back to you or they will do anything to
11:45be next to you because you create this
11:49amazing atmosphere about themself and
11:51they just love it because we want to be
11:53the best version of ourselves, but
11:56when we have
11:57teachers or mentors or somebody who
12:00helps us and supports us, it's much
12:02easier. So, here like these important
12:05tips. How to understand who is the boss
12:08in the room of this like crowded room?
12:11How to understand who's the right person
12:13to talk with about, I don't know,
12:17um pitch to get more investments into
12:20your company, get a new job,
12:23speak with the CEO of the company when
12:25there like, you know, a lot of people in
12:27the room and you need to precisely
12:29understand who is who. So, how to use
12:31these skills uh
12:34like a spy to observe the room and
12:37finding the alpha person in this room.
12:43Let me share this
12:45um tips with you.
12:48Number one.
12:49And it would be absolutely effective
12:53when you understand that this is the
12:58man, this is that person.
13:00When simply you will observe his body
13:04language, it's sort of easy because this
13:08person, if he's like the main guy, the
13:11main woman,
13:12would definitely have a circle around
13:15him
13:17of his employees or fans or people who
13:22are hanging out with him because of his
13:24status and position.
13:27Most likely, he or her, they wouldn't
13:30tell or they wouldn't speak loud.
13:32They wouldn't laugh too much and like
13:35hysterically and like loudly. No. They
13:38would talk
13:39um
13:40very uh calmly. And they wouldn't try to
13:45raise the war their voice. They would
13:48definitely stand tall on two feet. They
13:52wouldn't slouch.
13:53They would look at the whole room and
13:56everyone
13:58uh with their like normal eye contact
14:00without shyness or unconfidence.
14:03Uh you will see that people probably
14:06would like try to bring him or her some
14:08things like drinks, food, or anything
14:11else. Because even though if you
14:14wouldn't know who is he, is he CEO or
14:16just employee, you don't know. But his
14:18body position, the way he presents
14:21himself, you will understand. So, give
14:24yourself at least 10 minutes to observe
14:27the room to understand who is this
14:29person. You can simply
14:32for example, you would ask, "Okay,
14:34great. I find out that this is the right
14:36person I need to speak with.
14:38How do I approach him? What are these
14:41techniques? Like how do I do it?"
14:43Again, uh what you do is basically you
14:47can introduce yourself to somebody who
14:50is on a smaller position, on a smaller
14:53level, but who is also in the same inner
14:56circle of this, let's say, CEO of this
14:58like target of yours.
15:00So, you can introduce yourself or you
15:02can start a conversation coming closer
15:04to the circle, have like some small
15:07talk, finding some mutual interests,
15:11um telling about yourself. And then
15:14slowly, when you will be staying in this
15:16company, this, you know, team of people
15:18for at least 10-15 minutes,
15:21then the target of yours, the CEO of the
15:24company, would get used that you are in
15:27this
15:28company, in this team, and slightly like
15:31you can say something or participate in
15:34the conversation, and that's how you can
15:36meet each other. And that's like when
15:38you can exchange your business cards,
15:40and um you know, connect with each
15:42other. So, that's the best way to do
15:45because if you would just see your
15:46target and come directly to your target
15:49with a question or introduction, this
15:52actually will um
15:55sort of uh
15:58yeah, it will kind of like put you down.
16:00It won't be good for your reputation,
16:02either for your image, either for the
16:03future connection. Because people don't
16:06like these direct approaches.
16:10Our brain, especially if you're a CEO,
16:12if you have a high position, of course
16:14our brain wants to protect us. And our
16:17brain doesn't want like any new people
16:20in the circle. So, you have to be in the
16:22inner circle, so our brain can allow you
16:25to come close to the body. So, that's
16:29why you need some time
16:31to let the brain of your target to get
16:34used to you. That's how we do with the
16:36wild animals. We gave them the food, not
16:40like, "Here's the food, come here." We
16:43gave them time to get used to us, and
16:46slowly slowly they will get used to us,
16:47and they will come to us, and you can
16:49become friends. Okay, so let's say you
16:52have a great connection with your
16:55target.
16:56So, what to do if your target would say
16:59no to your offer? For example, you would
17:02like to work in this company, and the
17:04CEO would say, "Sorry, but we don't need
17:07any employees." Or for example, you
17:10would like to date this guy, and you
17:12have sort of cool connection, but he
17:14said, "Sorry, I'm not available." So,
17:17what do you do? How to actually respond
17:21to this now?
17:23Because when people tell you no, it's um
17:27kind of like painful for every of us and
17:30it's uh destabilize our condition and it
17:34makes us to be a little sad or even too
17:37sad and it demotivate us to do something
17:42more.
17:43So, what to do if we would hear as an
17:46answer?
17:48I could tell you so many times that
17:50leaders of the world,
17:52role models,
17:55presidents and geniuses and writers and
17:58so on. I can go on and on and on that
18:02all of them would say that they would
18:04never
18:05take no as an answer.
18:11And you know about that. Even like, you
18:12know, Tesla.
18:14How many experiments did he have to do?
18:16Like over thousands to actually get the
18:18right
18:19experiment, right? To make it done
18:22to have electricity. So,
18:25you can experience so many no's, but
18:28again,
18:29if you have this respond where you feel
18:34depressed and miserable,
18:38I will try to tell you how to sort of
18:41like hide it because if you will show it
18:44to the audience, to public, to people,
18:47they will scan it instantly. Okay? So,
18:53when you ask someone,
18:57before you asking,
18:59give yourself two
19:02situations
19:03before in your head. One situation,
19:06what will I do? How will I react if this
19:10person says no,
19:13you have to have contingency plans,
19:16plans B and C and D.
19:19If you will hear no,
19:22if I will hear no, I will go to this
19:25company, the competitor.
19:27I will do research. I will do this and
19:29this and this. If I hear no from this
19:32guy whom I would like to date, I will go
19:34to the dating websites and find another
19:3610 guys looking like him. So, it could
19:38be whatever silly it is, but you need to
19:40give your brain
19:42stable contingency
19:45plans. What would you do if you receive
19:49no? Because Why? Because if brain knows
19:52that nothing bad will happen even if you
19:55receive no, you will still continue
19:57doing what you're doing and achieving
19:59what you need, the brain wouldn't react
20:02like that,
20:04and you wouldn't be depressed or
20:06demotivated or feeling sad.
20:09Yes, it's another no, but who cares? I'm
20:11going ahead and doing what I'm doing.
20:13So, before
20:15asking anything from anyone,
20:18try to
20:20kind of like play this scenario in your
20:23head. What will happen if I would
20:25receive no as an answer? What would I
20:27do? What would be my next plan? What
20:29would would be my next step? Okay? So,
20:31this technique actually really works. If
20:33you want to write it down, it's even
20:34better.
20:35Uh it always helps. So, just in case
20:38have this always plan B. And of course,
20:41plan A, if you receive yes as an answer,
20:45perfect. You move on and go ahead. Or if
20:49it would be a pause, so there is no yes
20:51or no, what would you do? Um
20:54would you continue to do that or not?
20:56Like, what if like the person would say,
20:58"I don't know yet." So, what's your
21:01uh what's your plan for this answer? So,
21:04try to do it. It really works. A lot of
21:07people ask me about self-confidence
21:09techniques
21:11uh learned in the spy school.
21:14And some self-confidence techniques
21:18which are used by secret agents and how
21:21to implement them in a daily life.
21:25And we have another video where I'm
21:27discussing about just techniques and
21:29tips. Uh in fact, I wrote uh a guide and
21:34ebook which you can find at the
21:35rosaclub.com.
21:37And I just basically gave like some
21:39techniques like 1 2 3 4 5. But
21:43I'd like to tell you here about
21:47the most effective
21:49self-confidence
21:51state of mind the state of yours you can
21:55have.
21:57And this is really how does it work with
21:59me, with my students, with my son.
22:03And you will understand what I'm saying
22:05when you will actually do it.
22:07So, you can write it down or you can
22:10just do it, you know, in your heart
22:12basically. Just think about
22:14um your main goal.
22:17Okay? Let's say in 1 year or like in 5
22:20years.
22:21Think about your main goal.
22:23Then go back and think or write, better
22:26to write,
22:27what are those steps to achieve this
22:30goal?
22:32And then divide it also day by day.
22:36So, what are the steps do I need to do
22:39in order to get to this goal?
22:42And
22:44our brain works like that.
22:46We kind of like celebrate and we are
22:48happy about our achievements when we
22:51achieve that main goal.
22:53But we don't celebrate and we don't um
22:57praise ourselves to say, "Yes, I did it.
22:59Well done." when we do it on a daily
23:01basis. And this is the most important
23:03because from our daily basis activities,
23:05that's exactly how we build and we get
23:08to our goal, the main goal. So, for
23:11example, what is the best thing to do?
23:13Actually, I have a therapist who
23:16mentioned about the same technique which
23:18I actually studied in this high school.
23:20So, this is what you need to do.
23:23Before you go to bed,
23:26write down I usually put it into my
23:29notes um what things and what events,
23:33what activities do I need to do the next
23:35day?
23:36Like just 1 2 3 4 5 6 7.
23:38And then the next morning when you wake
23:40up, go through this list
23:43and if you need to do like work it by
23:45yourself or whatever, you just pick up
23:47something which is
23:48the priority, the most important, and
23:51then work all the things down during the
23:53whole day.
23:54Please do not overwhelm yourself with a
23:57lot of things to do because it's
23:59impossible. We only have 24 hours a day,
24:02plus we need to sleep and eat and blah
24:04blah blah. So, just write
24:07uh an amount of
24:08activities you need to do, but in a fair
24:11way. Like, for example, one task would
24:13take me approximately like an hour to
24:15do. Then I would need to have a break
24:17and all this. But when you actually
24:19finish this task, tell yourself, "Well
24:22done, you did it. Good job. Good job."
24:24How the way you we say to our kids, the
24:27way we say to our pets, the pet did uh
24:31poop in the right place. Yes, yes, good
24:33doggy, well done. Why don't you do it to
24:36yourself? This is how you build your
24:37self-esteem and self-love. And then by
24:40the end of the day, when you look at
24:41your task list, you're like, "Oh my god,
24:43I did that. I did that. I did that.
24:45That's amazing. I did so many things.
24:48Good. Well done." So, tomorrow will be
24:51an amazing day. So, you basically
24:54kind of like motivating yourself and
24:56you're also telling yourself, "Well, now
24:58this is a good stuff." And slowly and
25:00surely you're moving ahead.
25:02And that's the foundation of everything.
25:05This is the foundation of your
25:06self-confidence, because this is how
25:09the good as more good you feel about
25:12yourself, as more you respect yourself,
25:15because you're doing this,
25:17as more you value yourself, as more
25:20confident you become. And again, as I
25:22said before, people feel your vibe.
25:24People feel your energy. People feel
25:26like feel like, "Okay, so this guy means
25:29a lot, because he respects himself, so I
25:31do respect him, too." All right, guys.
25:34Self-confidence and self-esteem
25:37techniques are very important to uplift
25:41your perspective about yourself. But
25:43believe me, no one can make you
25:48confident or happy or
25:52lovable or valuable if you wouldn't do
25:57it for yourself. You know, in the Bible
26:00it says,
26:02"Love
26:03your neighbor, love the person next to
26:05you as you love yourself." Self-love is
26:08the most important. It is the foundation
26:10for everything. But self-love isn't
26:13something we're born with. Self-love is
26:16not even when our parents tell us they
26:19love us. It's not about that. Self-love
26:22is the core. It's something which you
26:27create, something which you develop,
26:31something which you build every day by
26:35learning, improving yourself, pushing
26:38yourself, getting yourself out from the
26:41comfort zone,
26:43going and study something new, exploring
26:46the world, pushing your limits,
26:49and every single time you achieve
26:51something, you gain yourself love more
26:55and more and more.
26:58And when you achieve more,
27:00you respect yourself more.
27:02And exactly this is how people
27:05feel us. This is how you reflect
27:07yourself. The self love comes from our
27:10side because this is inner beauty. It's
27:13our inner love.
27:15And not just techniques, but it's a
27:19combination of so many things
27:22which you can do on a daily basis.
27:25Um I did write all these techniques,
27:27self-confidence techniques in the ebook
27:30which you can find on the website
27:31rosaclub.com.
27:33But again,
27:35it's not about you just buying this book
27:37and reading it.
27:39What is it is that you need to be
27:43responsible enough
27:46and push yourself to do these techniques
27:50every day.
27:51So it becomes your habit. It becomes
27:53your routine.
27:55That's how you basically take care about
27:58yourself. You take care about your
28:00mindset. You take care about your
28:02physical appearance. You take care about
28:04your character and qualities.
28:07This is your work. Nobody can do it for
28:12you.
28:13So please
28:15understand that this is work which you
28:17need to do for yourself. If you want to
28:19be self-confident and have a
28:22value valuable self love,
28:25do it every day
28:27regularly. So if this book, if this
28:31video helped you, I'm very happy. But
28:34again, this is work which you need to
28:36do. And
28:38basically it's better if you will do it
28:39every day.
28:40So thank you so much for being here.
28:42Please drop comment below if you have
28:44any questions. I'm happy to answer it.
28:47I'm here every week. We have new
28:49episodes. So whatever you have or you
28:51can email me [email protected] or you can
28:53drop them comment below or you can
28:55direct me whatever. So I'm here guys. So
28:58lots of love.
29:00Stay tuned. Keep in touch and good luck
29:02with everything.

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