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The 1 Min Mentor | Jordan Lee Ikitule on Turning Pain Into Power & Breaking Cycles — Transcript

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0:00Jordan thank you for joining us for this
0:02kind of live
0:03demonstration podcast I think it's
0:05awesome that we catch up you know in the
0:08real world then we come into school and
0:11it doesn't matter where you put you and
0:12I we'll do our thing before we kind a
0:15kickoff Jordan what I've been
0:17encouraging the students that are
0:18watching today that are part of this
0:20class is that we look after the person
0:22we're interviewing and we kind of
0:25acknowledge their story and the way I'd
0:27like to start is if you could do a
0:28couple things for us
0:30we talk about who why what who are you
0:33what do you do and why do you do it
0:35would you mind just talking through the
0:38who why what for your story so far yeah
0:41who so who am I yeah so name is Jordan
0:45Lee um I grew up like down the road in
0:48worry I spent half of my life in worry
0:50and then the other half in um R you know
0:53the saying life hard but R was harder um
0:56my
0:57why who why what
1:00oh and I've been married for 11 years
1:03and I have two kids so my daughter is 10
1:07she thinks she's
1:0818 must be a YouTube um my son is six
1:13and he's he has autism and then I have
1:16another child on the way which I don't
1:19know if it's a boy or girl my wife
1:21didn't only know so I've been in a lot
1:23of pain just thinking about I'm going to
1:26have boy or girl um and that's my way so
1:29my kidss are my why like I grew up um
1:31like I said just down the road and in
1:33state housing uh my dad was always a
1:36part of like a local gang and I grew up
1:40with like all the all the street kids um
1:42just for yeah just with my mom shout out
1:45to my mom so I grew up with a Solen
1:46mother and yeah I think being a lot
1:48older
1:49now um I just like love to go back and
1:53yeah that's what I'm here today awesome
1:55bro I guess one of the questions I
1:57encourage young people to ask people
1:59older than them when they interview is
2:02what was life like for you when you were
2:0515
2:0716 and I'm older than you so I I guess
2:10I'll ask you to map on to those times
2:12when you were the age of these people
2:15here you know I can't imagine that it is
2:17easy being young in today's world you
2:20have a lot of information a lot of
2:21options and a lot of people like us
2:23coming into spaces like this to say just
2:25follow me and we'll be all right but I
2:28guess what was it like for you when you
2:30were coming into these Gates every
2:32day yeah oh well I I used to hate coming
2:35into school like yeah I wish we had like
2:38I think one thing I want to make clear
2:40too is I wish we had programs like this
2:42back then um cuz a lot of it was it was
2:45a lot different back in the day but um
2:48for me like most of my school career or
2:50career most of my schooling I was on
2:52curfew so I was like heading to youth
2:55prison had to be home
2:57like yeah couldn't be outside of home
3:00after 7 and um yeah I think looking back
3:04I used to think I I was an adult or like
3:07knew everything when I was a Teen um but
3:10what I realized when you finish school
3:12like that's when your life begins you
3:14know like everything in school was is
3:18awesome to like it's it's meant to be
3:20our place to learn and but I think one
3:24mistake or one thing that i' um sort of
3:27look back on is thinking that I was old
3:30and thinking that I knew how the world
3:32worked and I do agree like I think it's
3:34a little bit harder now
3:36for um our youth today because our youth
3:39have access to too much info um when we
3:43were in school like we didn't have data
3:46and Wifi like we had to pay all this big
3:49money for data so no one could even
3:50afford data um and we didn't have much
3:53access to the internet so yeah we only
3:56had like we could only access it if we
3:58went to like cafes or like in
4:01school um but yeah I just think nowadays
4:04it's a lot different because like our
4:06our kids um constantly having
4:09information throwing at them like at a
4:11speed that it's pretty crazy who are the
4:14people in school that I guess help guide
4:17you in the right direction you know
4:18that's one of the hopes for these kind
4:20of programs is that students know that
4:22I'm coming and I have expectations on
4:25them and then I'm out and it's on to
4:28them you know and I don't don't expect
4:30them to do everything we say but I
4:32expect them to have a try did you have
4:34someone like me in school yeah I I
4:37started oh well I I secretly like loved
4:40hip-hop dancing so like a lot of my
4:42background is in in dance but I didn't
4:44start till year 12 so cuz I was like
4:47real scared and I was playing like um
4:51Union and League like I used to play for
4:52the Ms and a lot of the boys now play
4:54for
4:55NRL um but yeah I was I was like scared
4:58of what people would think what my
5:00friends would have thought if I like
5:02actually told them what I wanted to do
5:04right and I wanted to dance but I was
5:07just too like ashamed or too scared to
5:09like tell my circle like this is what I
5:11want to do and stepping out was like
5:13scary cuz I think in our culture we like
5:16to like try and slip back especially
5:19like out South walk we we like to we
5:21tend to like not want to just put
5:23ourselves out there cuz like I don't
5:26know if it's like now but in our culture
5:28it's like we try and Mock and thing so
5:30like I was more afraid of like the boys
5:32mocking me than like actually doing what
5:34I wanted to do so I finally got the
5:36courage in like year 12 to tell Al Dean
5:40like I want to do dance and they like
5:41you done do in year 11 so you can't so I
5:43just made up this thing I was like no
5:46mean ass dancer like I just danc outside
5:48of school and she was like oh we'll
5:50we'll give you a trial then and then um
5:53yeah that that for me was like the
5:55Turning Point like it changed my whole
5:56circle like the boys couldn't come in
5:58the dance studio
6:00you know like the boys that I used to go
6:03do silly stuff worth like we used to
6:04steal cars and um Rob stores like the Su
6:09at Super
6:10Center um that just changed the whole
6:13game and I didn't realize at the time
6:15but that was like my Saving Grace like
6:18now I'm not going to hang around with
6:19the boys they don't want to dance like
6:21they're not going to come in the studio
6:23and now I want to get better and now I'm
6:24starting to learn like oh this's just
6:26passion I love dance so I started to
6:28like wanting wanting being in practices
6:30and I wasn't really like a good speaker
6:33I think looking at me now you probably
6:35think like this guyy is all lies but
6:37when I used to do speeches in school
6:38like I would just do anything to try not
6:41to like I used to have my book and I'm
6:44like shaky like this like almost crying
6:46and like couldn't sleep the night before
6:49and I just like FLIR my brains just and
6:52we said to sing in school like tomato
6:55face W like the boys will just yell out
6:58tomato face cuz like your face starts
7:00going red um but it's all that stuff
7:03like if I didn't start dancing I I don't
7:05know where I would be today M definitely
7:08like I I don't think I'd be the the man
7:10I am today um you know always looking
7:14out for my kids like my parents didn't
7:16have their dads as well so like I'm sort
7:18of like the third generation to break
7:20that cycle and then I'm just real big on
7:23like um like you can do it like it
7:26doesn't matter where you come from I
7:27guess the harder the story like the
7:29better is as well when you do overcome
7:32it um it means like you can go back and
7:34it qualifies you to go back and do
7:36things like this but yeah so is one of
7:40the lessons that you know in this
7:42podcast course for example we go through
7:44Hobbies yeah and I feel a lot of tension
7:46from our students to say what they think
7:49we want to hear but I'm more interested
7:51in what are you interested in yeah yeah
7:54and I guess would you say that it you
7:56really have to take seriously not
7:58suppressing your interests like I guess
8:02dance for you yeah like you say was a
8:04bit of a Saving Grace yeah it's funny
8:07yeah it's funny you talk about
8:08suppression cuz like there's a program I
8:10run today called express yourself and
8:12it's about like expressing who you are
8:15and a lot of us tend to like suppress
8:18that stuff and I think going back to our
8:21kids nowadays you know they have access
8:23to like Tik Tok and it's really it can
8:26be really distracting um it can lead to
8:28like people
8:30like the biggest thief of joy is
8:32comparison and like it can lead to you
8:35like comparing yourself um but I just
8:37think you know fine we all know what we
8:40want to do and if we don't like can just
8:42try heaps of like different stuff I've
8:44tried so many different like activities
8:47um Sports and I still do to this day
8:50like now I'm looking for a chess club
8:53like that's funny I've done like
8:55CrossFit I've done bodybuilding I've
8:57done dancing I I ski
9:00so many stuff I do
9:02now um but yeah I think if you don't
9:04know what you want to do then just try
9:07things you try as many things and you
9:10you might find something and if you do
9:11know what you want to do but you're you
9:13might be a little bit embarrassed and
9:15try and find or surround yourself with
9:17those same people and they'll they'll
9:20help you you got to you got to change
9:21your circle if you didn't come up with
9:24your Genius excuse for your
9:26Dean man that was a big moment yeah
9:30and it's a bit of a shame that they
9:32didn't say yeah man come in you're
9:34showing
9:35interest and I guess you know for our
9:38students today there might be that
9:40moment coming for you where you've got
9:42to fight a little bit for your to get in
9:45you know um did you were you aware at
9:48the time when you talked to your Dean
9:50that this was going to be a fork in the
9:53road no I I didn't I just sort of knew
9:56like I wanted to do it but I was like
9:59similar like I was dreading it like I
10:01was just running through my mind like
10:03what it might look like when I ask and
10:05did you have anyone to talk to about
10:07this at home in your community like that
10:10you had this thing that you wanted to do
10:12and we a bit embarrassed about maybe
10:14being
10:15mocked yeah it's brutal you know yeah
10:17yeah well probably like I probably just
10:20had my mom but I I just kept it to
10:22myself like I didn't I didn't go out and
10:24tell anyone I just sort of just done it
10:26cuz I was like if if I didn't say
10:28anything and I thought like at least no
10:30one knows if I didn't get through but I
10:33ended up getting through and then that
10:34year I got like um most improved answer
10:37and then the following year got like the
10:39Excellence award and then I like
10:41finished level three and dance and there
10:43still like two terms left so started
10:45doing level
10:46four but yeah it was such a I I really
10:50feel you just got to um dig deep and
10:54find their courage if there's no one to
10:56to talk to I think nowadays though like
10:58you have people like well or you have a
11:00lot of people you can trust in school so
11:02find someone that might not even be
11:04related to dance or where you want to H
11:06to but there is someone like I'm sure
11:09there's someone you can think of I don't
11:11know if it's in church or you might be a
11:14part of some groups or might be a rugby
11:16coach like yeah there should be someone
11:19you can talk to if you really think
11:20about yeah that's awesome so what do you
11:23do do you remember the day where you
11:25weren't coming to school anymore like
11:27obviously you finished school at some
11:28point yeah do you remember what you got
11:30up and did was it like wow I don't go to
11:33school anymore cuz that day is coming
11:34for everyone and I remember it and you
11:37remember it but I guess what I'm trying
11:39to plant the seeds in our student is the
11:41things we're doing now with podcasting
11:43is going to it's going to be your
11:44toolkit going into the world where you
11:47have an advantage like every student
11:49here knows more about you than you know
11:51about them and that's an advantage for
11:53them and when you're young you don't
11:54have many advantages so you got to take
11:56any bit but what were you doing on your
11:59first couple weeks out of school did you
12:01have a bit of a master plan I had no
12:04plan I was actually yeah I was I was
12:06shocked like your mindset like when
12:10you're in school is like you go through
12:12like December Jan holidays and like yeah
12:14it's all good I'm coming back to school
12:16and turn one Fib so I wasn't really like
12:20planning anything um but when I started
12:22to come around to Jan I was like holy
12:25snap like what am I what am I doing so
12:28yeah I I think like you guys have the
12:30opportunity to change that like
12:32especially me coming back and explaining
12:34my mistakes and where I went wrong like
12:37you have that opportunity like if I had
12:39someone come back when I was your guys
12:42your level like I feel like it would
12:44have woken me up like damn this guy's
12:47this guy looks similar to me he's from
12:48the same area but he's gone through life
12:51like I'm 32 now and yeah if I could go
12:55back and when I was this age and and
12:58hear someone else
13:00an ex student um saying like prepare
13:03what you want to do then and I I'll take
13:05that yeah run for it and so bring us
13:08through those years how did you find
13:10direction obviously there's a bit of
13:12time between 18 and 32 yeah so like
13:18obviously some of the students have
13:20researched your career so far but what
13:22was that next Milestone out of
13:27school actually I was me to be in like a
13:31movie and had like all these plans as as
13:34like chasing my dance career that fell
13:37through and then I went into banking so
13:39I was like an ex Banker like was
13:42finished up in corporate banking but I
13:44think going back to it if
13:46I could redo this I think one of the
13:49main things is to focus on like this was
13:53saying like work harder on yourself and
13:55work hard on your
13:57job and for me to like I think one thing
14:01is is build your skills like if you
14:03don't know what you're going to do like
14:05try find things you can do and like this
14:07like podcasting is is a future like it's
14:10massive like the the produtions in terms
14:13of like podcasting like public speaking
14:16there the skills getting good at like
14:19content find out like what skills are
14:23important and then really like increase
14:25yourself and you guys have access to
14:27like YouTube that that's crazy like you
14:30can learn anything you want um but I
14:32think like just build your skills up you
14:34know and then you'll have more options
14:37when you do finish
14:38school um what I admire about the work
14:42you do is you're going on that Journey
14:46you know there's lots you don't know but
14:48you're okay with that level of risk what
14:52why do you think you okay with that risk
14:54is it because you had a toe in the water
14:57here to see what you know there's risky
14:59moments already so you have you're more
15:02comfortable in Risk talk to me about the
15:05courage it you need to chase your dreams
15:08it's like no small
15:10thing cuz I bet you wake up some nights
15:13thinking man is this going to
15:15work yeah I my my courage comes from
15:20growing like my upbringing like there
15:22was such like I wouldn't change my
15:24upbringing cuz it made me who I am today
15:27so my upbringing I don't know what you
15:28guys are going through personally but I
15:30use that as like as fuel like sometimes
15:33I go back to my old house in my old
15:35neighborhood like I talk my daughter
15:37there and she was she was like shocked
15:39like did you live here and I was like
15:40just explaining like what it was like
15:42growing up there so um I use like pain
15:46and suffering as as my fi like I don't I
15:51don't want to go back there not in like
15:54a bad way and it's not like dissing any
15:56of that like I don't understand what my
15:58parents went through as well but I don't
16:01I'm not going to use that as an excuse
16:02to like carry that on so for me that's
16:05where I get my um my drive from is I
16:08just really wanted like I want to change
16:10and I I think I try to find that in the
16:14streets
16:15though so that is not good that you have
16:20that
16:21pain but you're using it as your
16:24fuel students can relate to that and I
16:28don't think that conversation is talked
16:30about all the time because I know that I
16:33was when you were at school I was in a
16:35whole different environment I was going
16:37to school where my path was laid out for
16:40me so I don't have that pain but it's
16:43turned into nervousness of not knowing a
16:45direction in life MH and so what I kind
16:49of want you to be to say is that the
16:51students here have an advantage over
16:52everyone else yeah because if you can
16:55fuel yourself through the things you're
16:57not happy with m you can get ahead is it
17:00like does that really exist yeah like
17:03seriously yeah like that's where I get
17:06my feel like I I had to wear like my
17:09siblings some of the youngest like I
17:11remember wearing their school uniform I
17:12couldn't even F the for my brother's
17:15like and I'm like bro but like just
17:18I used to just think like man when once
17:21I get this I'm going to do this or
17:23everything that but I definitely like um
17:26just added a lot of fuel like and it
17:28still does to the day and even like
17:30coming in here today like that's why
17:33when you had message I'm like I'm always
17:35Keen to like give back to my community
17:37and Y yeah that that's driver one of the
17:41things I'm really big on is I don't like
17:43when people say oh you just need this to
17:46get ahead and how that means for me is
17:49like you need special podcast get a
17:51podcast you actually don't you need a
17:53phone or a school computer anything that
17:56can record yeah same with the the ways
17:59we build our logos and ways we edit it's
18:01all free software and I don't like that
18:05everyone here is told that you need to
18:08not by school but if they go out to the
18:10world like University or whatnot it's
18:12all about you pay and it's like I want
18:14you to give first you know and I really
18:17admire that you're giving but what are
18:20the three things you do to help amplify
18:23your story for example I know you read a
18:27lot and I don't know was reading part of
18:30your upbringing did you really enjoy it
18:32the whole way through when I was younger
18:33I used to read all the N J used to read
18:37I thought reading was
18:39like I used to see people books like
18:42this idiot um but no I started reading
18:45when I was
18:4630 so I don't know how many books I've
18:49read like nowadays I can read a book in
18:51a week and I was like Flo I never
18:53thought that was possible and then now
18:54like it's starting to brush off on like
18:56my M family like I I'm sure if you see
19:00this podcast I'm sure they used to look
19:02at me like same thing it was just so
19:05foreign but I started listening to like
19:07self I started really digging deeper
19:10into like self-development like that's
19:12huge like my could you explain that a
19:14bit just for our students who are maybe
19:16not even heard that word put into
19:19context yet self-development what do you
19:21mean yeah self-development is really
19:23just focusing on upskilling yourself
19:27like yeah your myself as a person like I
19:30started that Journey when I was 30
19:32because I I thought I had all the
19:34answers like I was trying different
19:36businesses and I was like there was
19:38always like gaps in in my performance
19:41but I used to think it was like the
19:44government's fault or this person's
19:46fault or this circumstance and really it
19:47was just me like I just wasn't like
19:51waking up early enough I wasn't
19:52scheduling my my time and that's a lot
19:55of the stuff that you learn in
19:56self-development so for me I read like a
20:00lot of books even on the way here I'm
20:01listening to like um like I'm not
20:04listening to music I'm listening to
20:07like uh philosophers or people that I
20:10follow that can just continue to help me
20:13become a better
20:15person so it's like yeah it's been like
20:17a really powerful journey and like I was
20:19saying like I only started reading at 30
20:21years old like and if I was to show you
20:24like the improvements it'll be crazy
20:26from prior to reading prior to listening
20:29to podcasts and um I for what they
20:33called like s like mentors y now I have
20:35mentors as well like I used to think
20:38mentors similar to books I used think
20:40that was
20:41just yeah who needs a mentor so what's a
20:44mentor kind of explained in Practical
20:47terms for you how would you describe a
20:51mentor yeah I'd say a mentor
20:54is someone you aspire to be like that's
20:58ahead of you you so there's like my
21:01mentors I probably have like three or
21:03four and like one would might focus on
21:06like heal and well-being another one
21:07focuses on like business another one
21:10focuses on like being a father being a
21:13husband so I have different mentors but
21:16it's so key like it's it's a major life
21:19hack like reading listening to the right
21:23content and having mentals is like the
21:25the best life hack you know if you were
21:28back in everyone's shoes here the idea
21:31of approaching someone to say Mentor me
21:34might be hard do you have any words of
21:37encouragement how you might find a
21:39mentor I mean partly what the podcast
21:42does is it puts mentors with you and you
21:44get to interview them but I really do
21:47feel like don't wait till your mid 20s
21:50and 30s to start this journey yeah you
21:52know what would be your thoughts if
21:54someone wants to uh get a bit of
21:57encouragement maybe it's a teacher who
21:59they admire to go up to them and say hey
22:02would you mentor on
22:03me yeah I would say think about someone
22:06who and just don't be afraid to reach
22:08out like a lot of people skip that first
22:11step they're just so scared you might
22:14write the message and then not push send
22:16you might have the idea like as soon as
22:18you have that idea try and write it down
22:20and follow through and just approach
22:23them like you might even just approach
22:25them you might not even talk about can
22:27you mean to on me it might just be
22:29do you have like a spare 10 to 15
22:30minutes you know just want to chat with
22:32you um also like prepare yourself what
22:36you want to get out of that meeting or
22:39what you might the questions you might
22:40want to ask the the worst thing is is
22:42like asking someone oh can I have 10
22:44minutes of your time and then you sit
22:45there and you're just like you don't
22:46know what you you want to ask so prepare
22:49yourself with like some
22:51questions and maybe if they youve
22:54already seen them online like try and
22:55ask something a little bit different
22:57like you might already know what they're
22:59doing um try and ask something that that
23:02might be related to you I guess Jordan
23:05tell us a little bit about ASD dads and
23:08this journey because I know it's a
23:12moving ship you know I know that you're
23:15still you know I guess maybe give us an
23:18outline if you can on what are the cool
23:20things happening in your world that
23:22you're trying to push
23:23forward yeah so a ASD Deads like my goal
23:27is for it to be a worldwide organization
23:30um I haven't said this publicly but like
23:33we're
23:33launching our ASD de in brisban in June
23:39um like I reckon he's a bit of a
23:41celebrity but he's got an autistic son
23:42so he's Keen to help
23:44out we have our charity run called run
23:49for autism which is in New Zealand it's
23:52in four countries so New Zealand Sydney
23:55Japan and Utah
23:58um we we're still running our free
24:00workshops running our meetings of our
24:03our dads our moms free community events
24:06for our
24:07kids um with my clothing brand this is
24:11my clothing brand awesome
24:13kids I'm trying to figure out how to
24:15sell cuz they there's 13 countries that
24:18want my brand and I've never run like a
24:21clothing company so I'm like how do I
24:23I'm trying to figure out how to just get
24:25it to New Zealand another thing is like
24:27these
24:29t-shirts like on the back of SE run for
24:30autism so we're selling it and the four
24:33locations as well so that's another
24:35thing I have to figure out so I'm just
24:37like yeah it's been fun trying to figure
24:39that stuff out and then also running my
24:41dance company Express Yourself um which
24:44is run with myself and the O'Neal twins
24:47who are also ex- students of money high
24:50school and then I'm studying my
24:52daughter's business this year as well so
24:56exciting time buy boy yeah that's cool
25:00uh the last question I have before I
25:02wrap up this part of our chat and we
25:03hand it over to the students we'll push
25:05stop for that is uh what's a piece of
25:08advice that you're happy to share today
25:11that you know to be true you know I
25:14think people have got lots of advice for
25:16everybody on all different topics but
25:18when I talk to someone I'm like what are
25:20you confident in sharing that you know
25:23works for everyone doesn't matter what
25:26situation our students in or even Daniel
25:28and I it's like what is something that
25:32you know to be true that you're happy to
25:34share look at your your closest Five
25:37friends if you look at like your circle
25:39and say like four of your friends are
25:41all you know not attending school
25:44or they just like they don't want to
25:48achieve anything in life and but you
25:50do like you you you can't really be
25:53saying like oh I want to achieve this
25:55but I'm I'm hanging out these four guys
25:56cuz then you're going to be the fifth
25:58like it's just it's it's a fact so um if
26:01there's anything you can take away from
26:02this podcast is is if you have a dream
26:05and you want to achieve that dream and
26:07there's no excuse cuz there's kids that
26:09come from like way worser situations
26:12than us in South
26:14Oakland is like really check who your
26:16who your circle is cuz no matter what
26:18like you will be the fifth so if four of
26:21your friend four of your closest friends
26:22are just mucking around and not doing
26:26anything positive and you're you're
26:28thinking like yeah I want to I want to
26:30be this positive and I want to Chase my
26:32dream it's you're not cuz you're still
26:34hanging out those four so really have a
26:36look at your circle awesome Jordan thank
26:39you for answering the bat signal and
26:41coming in to class and and doing this
26:45for our students I I know it doesn't fix
26:48everything but I know that we're doing
26:50something right now that hardly any
26:52other school is doing yeah and I know it
26:54works and I look forward to seeing how
26:57this makes impact for the years to come
26:59on our students

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