terminar não é o fim do mundo. — Transcript

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1. 0:00Hi, I'm PKB, and there are three ways
2. 0:01for you to end a relationship. Two of
3. 0:03them are good, and one of them is bad.
4. 0:06The first good one is when you end the
5. 0:07relationship and get married. So you
6. 0:09stop being boyfriend and girlfriend and
7. 0:10become husband and wife. Yeah, that is
8. 0:12a good way for you to end it. The bad
9. 0:13one is when, due to some annoying
10. 0:15incompatibility, you end up having to
11. 0:17break up. And the last good one is when
12. 0:19, due to some annoying incompatibility,
13. 0:20you end up having to break up. See,
14. 0:22it's kind of like the good and bad
15. 0:24breakup have exactly the same reason,
16. 0:25because there are two ways it can
17. 0:27happen. For example, an incompatibility
18. 0:29between you is because the person you
19. 0:30love, I don't know, has to move to
20. 0:32Mozambique and there's no way for you
21. 0:33to go along. So, gee, that's a shame,
22. 0:35it's an annoying incompatibility, it
23. 0:36can't be reversed, you loved each other
24. 0:38, but that's okay, it happens. But the
25. 0:40annoying incompatibility we're talking
26. 0:41about is if the guy, I don't know,
27. 0:43cheats on the girl and beats her. So,
28. 0:44look, that is an excellent breakup.
29. 0:46Yeah, it's a good thing you broke up,
30. 0:47man. How wonderful. So, notice that
31. 0:49there is the bad breakup and the good
32. 0:51breakup. The good breakup is when the
33. 0:53reason for the end of this relationship
34. 0:55is a reason worth ending the
35. 0:56relationship for. And this is one of
36. 0:58those. Because continuing a
37. 0:59relationship in that situation is
38. 1:01basically you asking to have a gigantic
39. 1:03problem in your life in the future. So
40. 1:05to avoid that, you simply decide to end
41. 1:07it. For example, these days I received
42. 1:09a message from a guy saying his
43. 1:10girlfriend had told him that if he
44. 1:12didn't stop being Catholic, they would
45. 1:13have to break up. And honestly, when I
46. 1:16read that message, I was absolutely
47. 1:18incredulous, because notice this, man,
48. 1:20if the devil himself appeared in front
49. 1:22of me offering me 100 women in exchange
50. 1:23for me stopping being Catholic, man,
51. 1:25I'd refuse right away. The very first
52. 1:28instant he appeared, I would have
53. 1:29already refused. Now, the devil is
54. 1:31offering him only one to abandon his
55. 1:33faith. Oh, come on, right? Enough.
56. 1:35Enough. The offer with 100 is already
57. 1:37bad. Now with one, it's a joke, right?
58. 1:39It's a joke. In this case, it is a good
59. 1:41breakup, because the reason for the end
60. 1:42of the relationship was the
61. 1:43preservation of his faith. So, look,
62. 1:45man, it's obvious that any Catholic
63. 1:47must choose the faith, right? Choose
64. 1:49God. Yeah, I think it's kind of obvious
65. 1:50, right, the situation. But look, even
66. 1:53so, despite that breakup, even because
67. 1:55of it, he still felt sad, upset, and
68. 1:56distressed by that ending. But here is
69. 1:59something that must be said to everyone
70. 2:01who has recently broken up. And look,
71. 2:02I'm going to say something now that
72. 2:04might hurt your heart a little bit. So,
73. 2:06hold on to your seat. So, here it goes.
74. 2:09Since you are most likely young, you
75. 2:11are inexperienced, you feel more, you
76. 2:12are young. Your feelings right now are
77. 2:15much stronger than, for example, those
78. 2:16of an adult, or someone who has been
79. 2:18through many other things. That is why,
80. 2:20if you are young and end a relationship
81. 2:22, you have a huge difficulty seeing
82. 2:24these good breakups. You broke up for a
83. 2:27good reason, because if it had
84. 2:29continued, he would be screwed. It
85. 2:31would very likely have caused a big
86. 2:33problem in the future. So, it's good
87. 2:34that it ended now. But what is the
88. 2:36point? Since you are young, you have
89. 2:39trouble seeing this, because breaking
90. 2:41up is what hurts you a lot. You are not
91. 2:43able to see right now the good in this.
92. 2:45You are only capable of seeing pain and
93. 2:46suffering, and that is why you don't
94. 2:47like it. It's like a child who doesn't
95. 2:49want to get vaccinated because it hurts
96. 2:50to get the needle prick in the arm, you
97. 2:52know? Notice, the child doesn't care if
98. 2:54the vaccine is for their own good, that
99. 2:56the vaccine will prevent them from
100. 2:57dying from some strange disease. See,
101. 2:59the child is only focused on the
102. 3:01temporary pain they will feel and are
103. 3:03feeling, which is precisely what
104. 3:05happens when a young person breaks up.
105. 3:07You are staring fixedly at the pain you
106. 3:09are feeling and not at everything else
107. 3:11around you. It's as if your entire
108. 3:13field of vision went blind and you
109. 3:15could only look at your pain, wanting
110. 3:16it to end. But the point is, and here
111. 3:19is a major spoiler, things are not like
112. 3:21that. And you need to understand now
113. 3:22that things are not like that so that
114. 3:24you don't get frustrated in the future.
115. 3:26Because look, every dating relationship
116. 3:28that exists is meant to end. I don't
117. 3:31know if you knew this, but it is quite
118. 3:32obvious. Either it ends with you both
119. 3:34at a church altar becoming husband and
120. 3:35wife, or it will end with each of you
121. 3:37going your separate ways. In other
122. 3:38words, in fact, every relationship will
123. 3:40end, it will have an finish line. There
124. 3:42are only two paths, it will end at some
125. 3:43point. The point is, it's obvious that
126. 3:45when you break up, not marrying the
127. 3:47person you love and each going your own
128. 3:48way, you're going to feel bad. Yeah,
129. 3:50that's natural. Yeah, it's quite
130. 3:51obvious, it's expected that this would
131. 3:53happen. It would be strange if you
132. 3:54didn't, okay? And I would say that the
133. 3:56best advice for someone suffering
134. 3:58through this right now is generally to
135. 3:59cry, as strange as it may seem,
136. 4:03generally to cry, take a hot shower,
137. 4:05keep crying, it's all good, it's okay,
138. 4:07okay, it's part of it, okay? That it's
139. 4:09all right. Realize, just as a child
140. 4:11gets a vaccine and cries, if your heart
141. 4:12aches from this breakup, you should cry
142. 4:14too. But it is important to cry for the
143. 4:17right reasons. I would say that this is
144. 4:19the most important part. And I say this
145. 4:21because you should never, under any
146. 4:23circumstances, cry when you make the
147. 4:25right decision. You can cry because
148. 4:27making the right decision brought you
149. 4:29pain. That much is fine. But you cannot
150. 4:32cry over the decision itself. I would
151. 4:34say, you should not regret doing the
152. 4:36right thing, doing what is correct. Cry
153. 4:38for the path the person had to take,
154. 4:40for it not working out, for the fact
155. 4:41that you still like the person. Fine,
156. 4:43that's okay, but don't regret what you
157. 4:45know is correct, what you know is the
158. 4:46right thing to do. Like the example I
159. 4:49gave of the boy whose girlfriend wanted
160. 4:50him to abandon his faith. See, he
161. 4:52remained firm in his faith. And note,
162. 4:54he will still cry for a little while.
163. 4:57He will cry over this breakup and for
164. 4:58other reasons, for her not converting
165. 5:00to the Catholic faith, for her wanting
166. 5:01to take away from him what was most
167. 5:03important that he had or any other
168. 5:04reason, it doesn't matter, but he can
169. 5:05never cry for having made the right
170. 5:07decision and not be saddened by it. On
171. 5:10the contrary, when the breakup and the
172. 5:12pain come, think: despite all this,
173. 5:15despite my pain, I did what is right
174. 5:17and amidst the pain, I am deeply proud
175. 5:20of myself that I did not lose what is
176. 5:22most important in me. And see, when he
177. 5:26gets past crying for the right reasons,
178. 5:28it is necessary afterwards to take some
179. 5:29time to reflect, to understand where
180. 5:31things went wrong. Obviously not all
181. 5:33breakups will be as beautiful and
182. 5:34virtuous as the example I am giving,
183. 5:36but even in cases where, I don't know,
184. 5:37you, for example, have done something
185. 5:39wrong. Look, was this breakup your
186. 5:40fault, what did you do wrong? Could it
187. 5:42be that you were the one to blame? So
188. 5:43move past the blame of others, try not
189. 5:45to get hurt by it. Try not to let
190. 5:46yourself be hurt by what you can no
191. 5:48longer control. Give it time, stop
192. 5:50dwelling on the past and fill your time
193. 5:52with good occupations, because it's in
194. 5:54moments of greatest vulnerability that
195. 5:55the devil is there tempting us to do
196. 5:57evil, you know? And what you are
197. 5:59feeling now is a moment of fragility.
198. 6:02It’s helpful in these moments to
199. 6:03cling to family, the people you love,
200. 6:05relatives, good friends, and good
201. 6:06entertainment. Close yourself off a
202. 6:09little and heal, like a dog licking its
203. 6:11wounds. You know, something like that,
204. 6:14keeping in mind that in time this will
205. 6:16pass. The point is, your role now is,
206. 6:19while this pain still persists, I
207. 6:22cannot allow it to consume me entirely.
208. 6:26I must be the master of myself. And
209. 6:29this is important because people who go
210. 6:31through breakups end up letting the
211. 6:32pain take over and end up doing foolish
212. 6:34things. Some end up going down lustful
213. 6:36paths of chasing many women and hitting
214. 6:38parties. Others fall into a certain
215. 6:40depression and deep sadness. It is best
216. 6:42not to fall into these directions. It
217. 6:44is important to be a man, truly a man
218. 6:46or woman, if you are watching me, but
219. 6:49stay firm, keep standing, and be
220. 6:51intelligent. You are in a moment of
221. 6:53fragility, okay? So don't pay attention
222. 6:55to the nonsense that your mind will
223. 6:57start throwing at you, okay? It is
224. 6:59important to recognize your own
225. 7:00weakness and understand it, okay? This
226. 7:02is the moment to start ignoring my own
227. 7:04thoughts, because they will start
228. 7:05giving me stupid ideas, so I simply
229. 7:07will not heed these ideas. Yeah,
230. 7:09that’s interesting. That is basically
231. 7:11it. I hope this video could have helped
232. 7:13someone, any of you. Well, that's it.
233. 7:14I’ll see you tomorrow at 6:30 in the
234. 7:16morning. And cheers.