Teenage Detransitioner Wants to Warn You — Transcript

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1. 0:00my name is Chloe Cole I'm 18 years old
2. 0:02and I am a former transgender kid after
3. 0:05I got my first phone at 11 I started
4. 0:08using Instagram and Snapchat I started
5. 0:10seeing a lot of content that was either
6. 0:13feminist or centered around the LGBT
7. 0:16oftentimes very sexual nature
8. 0:21I was seeing very idealized images of
9. 0:24adult women's bodies that I would often
10. 0:26compare myself to and I felt like I
11. 0:29couldn't really match up I started to
12. 0:30develop quite a negative view of growing
13. 0:33from a girl into a woman
14. 0:37at school I found it difficult to make
15. 0:39and keep friends I was often an outcast
16. 0:41especially from from other girls who hit
17. 0:44puberty at quite a young age I started
18. 0:46getting comments on my body from my
19. 0:48other female peers I started to think
20. 0:50like well I'm not like other girls might
21. 0:52just be better off as a boy and
22. 0:54eventually I landed on well I guess it
23. 0:57just makes sense that I'm actually just
24. 0:59not a girl at all just I'm just a boy I
25. 1:02was 12. I was around 12 or 13. I I fell
26. 1:05pretty easily into this I was an
27. 1:07impressionable kid I was sexually
28. 1:08assaulted in classroom in eighth grade
29. 1:10that taught me that this part of me
30. 1:13would only bring me pain and attention
31. 1:17that I didn't want I didn't realize at
32. 1:20the time just how much of a role it
33. 1:22played in me eventually deciding to get
34. 1:24a mastectomy by the time I did it was it
35. 1:26was far too late
36. 1:27[Music]
37. 1:29when I started the blockers once all the
38. 1:32hormones cleared out of my body I did
39. 1:34have a bit of a honeymoon period
40. 1:36starting on testosterone my hair got
41. 1:37thicker my eyebrows got thicker my
42. 1:39jawline got sharper and I started to
43. 1:41develop a lot more muscle but it started
44. 1:43to cause me some problems physically and
45. 1:46emotionally I started experiencing a lot
46. 1:49more anxiety and just a lot of a lot
47. 1:51more negative emotions in general I was
48. 1:5415 years old I was in my sophomore year
49. 1:56when I decided that I wanted to undergo
50. 1:58a double mastectomy as they were
51. 2:01preparing me for the surgery and
52. 2:03checking all my vitals and
53. 2:05eventually rolling me into the operation
54. 2:07room I got more and more nervous
55. 2:10I'd say the regret started to creep in a
56. 2:13little bit about a few months after my
57. 2:15surgery but it wasn't until I had taken
58. 2:18a psychology class and learned a little
59. 2:20bit more about child development and
60. 2:22breastfeeding
61. 2:24that I would no longer be able to
62. 2:26breastfeed that time you know I was just
63. 2:28a 15 year old I realized that I had
64. 2:31taken
65. 2:32so much more for myself than my breasts
66. 2:35I was allowed to make this decision
67. 2:38at far too young of an age if I were to
68. 2:41go back in time and speak to my 12 year
69. 2:43old self I would let her know that she's
70. 2:45worth so much more than her body and the
71. 2:49way that she presents herself and the
72. 2:51way that
73. 2:53she thinks other people perceive her
74. 2:55it's infinitely more important that she
75. 2:58spends time with her family and her
76. 3:00friends and getting involved in her
77. 3:02community I've gone through a lot of
78. 3:04hardships and I don't think anything
79. 3:06else in my life has affected me
80. 3:09nearly as much as
81. 3:11transitioning and stopping transitioning
82. 3:13has but
83. 3:15I've I've managed to keep my head up and
84. 3:18I would attribute that mostly to having
85. 3:21people around me who I know really
86. 3:23support me and care about me
87. 3:28now that I've seen it all I just can't
88. 3:30imagine operating on a kid like that in
89. 3:33good conscience